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1
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Dre: The Johnson family
loves Halloween.
2
00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:05,670
We love the decorating...
3
00:00:05,670 --> 00:00:07,580
the trick-or-treating.
4
00:00:07,580 --> 00:00:09,460
We love the mischief.
5
00:00:09,460 --> 00:00:11,920
But what we love most
is showing out
6
00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:13,920
in our family costume.
7
00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:18,210
Now, choosing the perfect
costume isn't always easy.
8
00:00:18,210 --> 00:00:21,420
Sometimes we're
cartoon superheroes.
9
00:00:21,420 --> 00:00:24,620
Sometimes we're real heroes.
10
00:00:24,620 --> 00:00:27,500
But this year,
we get to be both.
11
00:00:27,500 --> 00:00:31,040
Because of "Black Panther,"
we not only own the box office,
12
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:32,710
we own Halloween.
13
00:00:32,710 --> 00:00:34,170
All: Wakanda forever!
14
00:00:34,170 --> 00:00:35,170
Mm!
15
00:00:35,170 --> 00:00:36,790
All right. Halloween
dress rehearsal.
16
00:00:36,790 --> 00:00:39,420
You two need
to put on these.
17
00:00:39,420 --> 00:00:41,250
Yeah.
18
00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:43,620
We're not dressing up
this year.
19
00:00:43,620 --> 00:00:45,880
But we got Black Panther.
20
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,960
And it took me two hours
to do all of this.
21
00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:51,670
And it took me two days
to do all this.
22
00:00:56,620 --> 00:01:01,710
♪♪
23
00:01:01,710 --> 00:01:05,000
But why are you guys
not dressing up?
24
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,710
No one is.
What?
25
00:01:06,710 --> 00:01:09,000
No one in our school's
even doing Halloween.
26
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,120
The only thing going on
is Cameron Carter's party,
27
00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:13,620
and fingers crossed
we get invited.
28
00:01:13,620 --> 00:01:15,290
Well, of course you guys
are gonna get invited.
29
00:01:15,290 --> 00:01:17,750
Are you kidding me?
You're adorbs.
30
00:01:17,750 --> 00:01:19,380
It's very exclusive.
31
00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:22,380
I mean, he only has been giving
out two invitations a day,
32
00:01:22,380 --> 00:01:24,000
and tomorrow's the last two.
33
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,670
That is so cruel.
34
00:01:25,670 --> 00:01:28,750
Nuh-unh.
That is so cool.
35
00:01:28,750 --> 00:01:30,080
Build the hype.
36
00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:32,580
Then people suck up to you
to be a part of that hype.
37
00:01:32,580 --> 00:01:35,830
Then you create the demand
for the hype.
38
00:01:35,830 --> 00:01:37,500
Oh, I got to meet
this dude Cameron.
39
00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:39,000
It's Cameron Carter.
40
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,000
He's so cool,
he has full-name status.
41
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:44,420
I do not think Cameron Carter
is so cool.
42
00:01:44,420 --> 00:01:45,710
Who does he think he is?
43
00:01:45,710 --> 00:01:48,120
Look, we don't have time to
explain Cameron Carter to you.
44
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:50,670
Oh. Well, she told you.
Someone's very busy. My goodness.
45
00:01:50,670 --> 00:01:53,920
[ Chuckles ]
And so it begins.
46
00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:55,170
What are you talking about?
47
00:01:55,170 --> 00:01:57,330
Seventh grade.
48
00:01:57,330 --> 00:01:59,040
It's like a blood bath.
49
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,080
You make one mistake,
and you're dead.
50
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,420
Like my seventh grade hike
to the Falls.
51
00:02:03,420 --> 00:02:04,710
The Falls.
52
00:02:04,710 --> 00:02:07,170
I forgot to put a protein bar
in my backpack,
53
00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:09,420
and I fainted
from exhaustion.
54
00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:13,170
When I awoke, I was being
carried by a small girl
55
00:02:13,170 --> 00:02:16,460
like we were on our honeymoon
in the Poconos.
56
00:02:16,460 --> 00:02:17,620
[ Exhales deeply ]
57
00:02:17,620 --> 00:02:19,250
Ladies' man rep
gone like that.
58
00:02:19,250 --> 00:02:20,620
You had a ladies' man rep?
59
00:02:20,620 --> 00:02:22,830
You don't sweep
the math awards
60
00:02:22,830 --> 00:02:25,120
and not become
a ladies' man.
61
00:02:27,540 --> 00:02:28,540
Bow...
Yeah.
62
00:02:28,540 --> 00:02:29,790
Don't listen to him.
63
00:02:29,790 --> 00:02:31,330
Your son's a weirdo.
64
00:02:31,330 --> 00:02:33,330
The twins,
they'll be all right.
65
00:02:33,330 --> 00:02:35,420
No, he's right.
66
00:02:35,420 --> 00:02:38,040
I remember in seventh grade,
67
00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:42,330
I washed my hair
and I let it air dry.
68
00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:44,750
And my mom, she said
I looked like
69
00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:49,000
a beautiful
African princess.
70
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,830
It didn't dry the way
I thought it would.
71
00:02:51,830 --> 00:02:54,000
Sorry, no room...
72
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,540
Helmet Hair.
73
00:02:56,540 --> 00:02:58,170
Helmet Hair?
74
00:02:58,170 --> 00:02:59,330
That's hilarious!
75
00:02:59,330 --> 00:03:00,790
No, it's not!
76
00:03:00,790 --> 00:03:04,170
Dre, they voted me "Most Likely
to Survive a Car Crash."
77
00:03:04,170 --> 00:03:06,670
Also hilarious.
Oh, my God. You know what...
78
00:03:06,670 --> 00:03:08,120
Where the hell did you go
to middle school, Bow?
79
00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:09,040
The Apollo?
80
00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:10,420
This is serious, Dre.
81
00:03:10,420 --> 00:03:11,960
Seventh grade is hard enough
82
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:14,620
without being excluded
from parties.
83
00:03:16,170 --> 00:03:17,790
We need to go talk
to the school.
84
00:03:17,790 --> 00:03:19,250
It's just one party
85
00:03:19,250 --> 00:03:21,670
that they still
might get invited to.
86
00:03:21,670 --> 00:03:24,460
And if they don't,
then they'll deal with it.
87
00:03:24,460 --> 00:03:26,580
And how did you deal
with being left out
88
00:03:26,580 --> 00:03:27,790
in seventh grade?
89
00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:31,500
I was the king
of seventh grade.
90
00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:32,960
I never took a loss.
91
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,540
♪♪
92
00:03:34,540 --> 00:03:38,000
Junior, thanks for helping me
pick up the dry cleaning.
93
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,830
Those choir robes are heavy.
94
00:03:39,830 --> 00:03:41,830
Yeah, thank you for
helping me fill my day.
95
00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:45,120
Gap year is definitely off
to a slow start.
96
00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,290
You ever feel like you've read
the whole Internet?
97
00:03:47,290 --> 00:03:49,670
You ever feel like
you didn't wash your...
98
00:03:49,670 --> 00:03:52,000
face this morning?
I --
99
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,000
Hey, Miss Ruby.
100
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,080
So good to see you.
101
00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:57,330
Oh, honey, it's good
to see you, too.
102
00:03:57,330 --> 00:03:58,670
[ Chuckles ]
103
00:03:58,670 --> 00:04:01,330
We are so gonna need
your voice tonight.
104
00:04:01,330 --> 00:04:04,000
Oh, well, you know me.
When the Lord calls...
105
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:08,290
♪ I come running! ♪
106
00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:09,290
Who's this?
107
00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:12,080
Niecy, this is my grandson,
Junior.
108
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:12,830
Nice to meet you.
109
00:04:12,830 --> 00:04:14,500
Niecy's our little star.
110
00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:17,170
She's been with us since
she was 10 years old.
111
00:04:17,170 --> 00:04:19,540
I poached her
from First Faith.
112
00:04:19,540 --> 00:04:21,500
Place fell on the skids
after that.
113
00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:24,330
It's an Olive's Garden now.
[ Laughs ]
114
00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:27,080
Go, Niecy.
Give him a little taste.
115
00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,920
♪ Oh, Happy Day ♪
116
00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:33,380
♪ When Jesus washed ♪
117
00:04:33,380 --> 00:04:36,170
♪ He washed my sins away ♪
118
00:04:36,170 --> 00:04:37,120
Wow.
119
00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:40,000
She's never going secular.
[ Chuckles ]
120
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:43,250
All right, you two
little babies chat, okay?
121
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:45,880
But, uh,
don't let him bore you
122
00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:48,960
talking about that wizard
Harvey Porter
123
00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:51,670
who fights
those hog wars.
124
00:04:51,670 --> 00:04:52,920
[ Mutters ]
125
00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:55,170
It's Harry Potter, Grandma.
Yeah, yeah.
126
00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:57,880
I haven't read those books
in years, so...
127
00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,790
Yeah, me neither.
128
00:04:59,790 --> 00:05:01,330
I actually just
re-read them.
129
00:05:01,330 --> 00:05:02,460
Me, too.
130
00:05:02,460 --> 00:05:03,960
They hold up, right?
131
00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,330
A story for all ages.
132
00:05:07,670 --> 00:05:10,620
Anyway, what's your story?
133
00:05:10,620 --> 00:05:13,750
You, uh, go to college
on the first try?
134
00:05:13,750 --> 00:05:15,710
[ Laughs ]
135
00:05:17,330 --> 00:05:19,670
[ Sighs loudly ]
136
00:05:19,670 --> 00:05:21,710
Hello.
Hi.
137
00:05:21,710 --> 00:05:24,540
Hello, Principal Biggs.
138
00:05:24,540 --> 00:05:27,210
I can't get your kids invited
to Cameron Carter's party.
139
00:05:27,210 --> 00:05:28,620
Dang it.
140
00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:30,000
I told her.
141
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,210
Doesn't this school
have a rule
142
00:05:32,210 --> 00:05:34,380
about everybody getting
invited to everything?
143
00:05:34,380 --> 00:05:35,830
For elementary kids.
144
00:05:35,830 --> 00:05:39,040
But this is middle school,
so it's kill or be killed.
145
00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:40,080
Mm-hmm.
What? That sounds very violent.
146
00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:41,830
Don't worry, the kids
figure it out.
147
00:05:41,830 --> 00:05:43,920
Told her that, too.
148
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:45,250
Is there anything
you can do?
149
00:05:45,250 --> 00:05:48,540
Listen, if I could fix
middle school for anyone,
150
00:05:48,540 --> 00:05:50,830
I'd go back and fix it
for myself. Okay.
151
00:05:50,830 --> 00:05:52,710
The summer between sixth
and seventh grade,
152
00:05:52,710 --> 00:05:54,710
I grew 2 1/2 feet.
153
00:05:54,710 --> 00:05:55,670
Did you join the league?
154
00:05:55,670 --> 00:05:56,540
They thought I was
a teacher.
155
00:05:56,540 --> 00:05:57,540
What?
Or a Yeti.
156
00:05:57,540 --> 00:05:58,670
That's why I became
a teacher.
157
00:05:58,670 --> 00:06:00,210
Mm-hmm.
Right. Okay.
158
00:06:00,210 --> 00:06:03,170
Anyway, my advice is just
to stay out of it.
159
00:06:03,170 --> 00:06:06,000
I told her that, too,
160
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,420
but she don't listen.
Dre.
161
00:06:07,420 --> 00:06:09,170
Now, look, Principal Biggs,
we'll get out of your way.
162
00:06:09,170 --> 00:06:10,790
You go on and do your job.
163
00:06:10,790 --> 00:06:13,040
Thank you.
Thank you.
164
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,250
You heard her, Bow.
165
00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:16,380
[ Scoffs ] What do teachers
know about children?
166
00:06:16,380 --> 00:06:17,830
We need to do
something, Dre.
167
00:06:17,830 --> 00:06:20,000
Why?
168
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,000
Look at them.
Look at Jack.
169
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,500
He's all cocky, kicking it
on top of the table.
170
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:26,420
He's --
And -- And look at Diane,
171
00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:28,040
ruling the roost.
172
00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:29,960
She looks pretty.
Uh-huh.
173
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,210
They are fine, Bow.
Come on. Let's go. Okay.
174
00:06:32,210 --> 00:06:33,920
Cameron: Yo!
Final invitations!
175
00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:35,290
Saved the best for last.
176
00:06:35,290 --> 00:06:37,000
Get over here, you two.
177
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,750
Oh, my God! Yes!
178
00:06:38,750 --> 00:06:40,620
Okay. Okay.
See? Winners.
179
00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:42,040
Okay.
180
00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,540
Thank you.
Whoa, what are you doing?
181
00:06:44,540 --> 00:06:47,040
These are for them.
182
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,380
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
183
00:06:49,380 --> 00:06:52,170
We were -- We were just
excitedly walking this way.
184
00:06:52,170 --> 00:06:54,120
Yeah, let's just --
just go. Let's go, yeah.
185
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:56,080
Wait, you thought
those were for you?
186
00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:58,080
You guys are so thirsty.
187
00:06:58,080 --> 00:06:59,750
Hey, everybody!
Hold on to your drinks.
188
00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:01,830
It's the Thirsty Twins!
189
00:07:01,830 --> 00:07:04,880
[ Chanting ]
Thir-sty Twins! Thir-sty Twins!
190
00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:07,750
Thir-sty Twins! Thir-sty Twins!
191
00:07:07,750 --> 00:07:09,540
Thir-sty Twins! Thir-sty Twins!
192
00:07:09,540 --> 00:07:10,670
Oh, God.
193
00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:14,040
Hey, baby! Don't forget
your new book bag!
194
00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:15,250
Ah. Thanks, Mom!
195
00:07:15,250 --> 00:07:16,500
All right.
196
00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:19,880
Boy: Kid's got a purse!
197
00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:21,500
[ Laughter ]
198
00:07:23,580 --> 00:07:25,330
I did take a loss.
199
00:07:25,330 --> 00:07:27,210
Thir-sty Twins! Thir-sty Twins!
200
00:07:27,210 --> 00:07:30,000
Thir-sty Twins! Thir-sty Twins!
201
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,620
Okay, we've got
to do something.
202
00:07:31,620 --> 00:07:33,580
Yeah, I'm about to punch a kid.
Hold my purse.
203
00:07:33,580 --> 00:07:34,540
[ Screaming ] No!
What?
204
00:07:38,710 --> 00:07:39,920
I can't believe
they clowned my kids!
205
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,750
Yeah, i-if it was Junior,
yeah, I'd understand,
206
00:07:41,750 --> 00:07:43,500
but this was Jack and Diane.
207
00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:46,170
Diane's petty
and she's mean
208
00:07:46,170 --> 00:07:49,250
and she messed up my meet
and greet with Boyz II Men,
209
00:07:49,250 --> 00:07:51,620
but she's no loser.
210
00:07:51,620 --> 00:07:53,170
I wish there was a way
that I could put
211
00:07:53,170 --> 00:07:55,170
this Cameron Carter
in his place.
212
00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:57,580
Oh-ho-ho! Let's go
on the Dark Web
213
00:07:57,580 --> 00:08:00,250
and find a child assassin.
214
00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:02,960
Now, do you want a child
who's an assassin
215
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,580
or a grown man
who kills children?
216
00:08:05,580 --> 00:08:06,830
What?
217
00:08:06,830 --> 00:08:07,920
Neither!
218
00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:10,330
Fine, that's the last time
I try to help.
219
00:08:10,330 --> 00:08:12,080
So, you need
a sensible plan.
220
00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:14,170
You need to get a disguise,
go undercover,
221
00:08:14,170 --> 00:08:17,000
and enroll in the school
as a cooler kid
222
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,170
named Cameron Carter.
-Hmm.
223
00:08:19,170 --> 00:08:21,880
That's also
a terrible plan.
224
00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:23,580
It's like he just
comes here to talk,
225
00:08:23,580 --> 00:08:24,620
but he doesn't
need our help, right?
226
00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:25,620
You feel that
in your spirit?
227
00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:27,210
Some people
just want you to listen.
228
00:08:27,210 --> 00:08:28,880
Dre, if you don't
have the stones
229
00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:31,330
to hire a black-market
Internet assassin,
230
00:08:31,330 --> 00:08:35,250
what you need to do is throw
a kick-ass rival party.
231
00:08:35,250 --> 00:08:37,580
Oh, like Reese Witherspoon
in "Big Little Lies."
232
00:08:37,580 --> 00:08:40,210
[ Scoffs ] Amabella's party
didn't stand a chance.
233
00:08:40,210 --> 00:08:44,380
You know, a rival party
just might work.
234
00:08:44,380 --> 00:08:45,580
Wonderful,
235
00:08:45,580 --> 00:08:48,040
because Interpol just seized
Josh's computer.
236
00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:49,120
There you go.
What are you doing?
237
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:50,710
Fingerprints on that.
I got to go.
238
00:08:50,710 --> 00:08:52,170
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no!
239
00:08:52,170 --> 00:08:53,330
This isn't --
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
240
00:08:53,330 --> 00:08:54,580
Oh, it just took
my picture.
241
00:08:54,580 --> 00:08:57,500
Yes, I understand that is
the school policy,
242
00:08:57,500 --> 00:09:00,250
Dean Reynolds,
but what about the mom policy,
243
00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:03,000
which states
that you expel any kid
244
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,790
that is mean to my kid?
245
00:09:05,790 --> 00:09:08,670
Uh, no, I think
you're being unreasonable.
246
00:09:08,670 --> 00:09:10,710
Uh, okay, yeah, thank you.
247
00:09:10,710 --> 00:09:13,040
I am getting nowhere
with the school board.
248
00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:14,540
Don't worry about it,
all right?
249
00:09:14,540 --> 00:09:15,880
I got a better plan.
250
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:18,330
Forget Cameron Carter.
251
00:09:18,330 --> 00:09:20,290
We are throwing
our own party.
252
00:09:20,290 --> 00:09:21,750
Kids! Get down here!
253
00:09:21,750 --> 00:09:23,250
A rival party?
Mm-hmm.
254
00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:26,290
[ Gasps ] That is way faster
than suing the school.
255
00:09:26,290 --> 00:09:27,290
What?
I love that.
256
00:09:27,290 --> 00:09:28,460
Uh, okay.
I love it!
257
00:09:28,460 --> 00:09:29,460
Okay, come on.
Come in here. Sit down.
258
00:09:29,460 --> 00:09:30,880
Come on. Sit down.
Sit down.
259
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:32,330
Come on. Hurry up.
Sit down. Cop a squat. Yes. Come on.
260
00:09:32,330 --> 00:09:33,830
Okay, sitting down.
All right.
261
00:09:33,830 --> 00:09:37,420
We are going to save
your social life.
262
00:09:37,420 --> 00:09:38,460
Ha!
Mm-hmm.
263
00:09:38,460 --> 00:09:39,500
It's too late.
Hmm.
264
00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:41,290
The janitor in
the lower school told me
265
00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:42,330
to keep my chin up...
Mnh-mnh.
266
00:09:42,330 --> 00:09:43,790
...but also
wouldn't give me dap.
267
00:09:43,790 --> 00:09:46,120
Have no fear, little lady.
268
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,500
Your father and I
are gonna throw a party
269
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:51,380
that is way better
than Cameron Whatever's.
270
00:09:51,380 --> 00:09:52,210
Mm-hmm.
[ Chuckles ]
271
00:09:52,210 --> 00:09:53,330
You know it's Carter.
272
00:09:53,330 --> 00:09:55,960
I am taking away
his power.
273
00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:56,920
Snatch it.
274
00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:58,250
Yeah, but won't
everyone think
275
00:09:58,250 --> 00:10:00,540
the Thirsty Twins
are just throwing a party
276
00:10:00,540 --> 00:10:02,500
because we didn't get invited
to Cameron Carter's?
277
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:04,210
No!
278
00:10:04,210 --> 00:10:07,210
Because your party will be
bigger, blacker, and deffer,
279
00:10:07,210 --> 00:10:08,500
like a Chris Rock special.
280
00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:09,960
Yeah, way better.
281
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:10,830
Mm-hmm.
282
00:10:10,830 --> 00:10:12,000
How?
283
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,500
Well, um...
Okay, uh, yeah. Good question.
284
00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:14,500
Yeah.
How?
285
00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:15,580
We're, um...
286
00:10:15,580 --> 00:10:17,960
Uh, because i-it's
gonna be a --
287
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:19,460
be a-a-a...
288
00:10:19,460 --> 00:10:22,000
haunted house party.
Haunted house party!
289
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,750
Yes!
[ Laughs evilly ]
290
00:10:23,750 --> 00:10:27,080
Yes! That leads
to a pizza party
291
00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:29,710
with a deejay
in the backyard.
292
00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:30,880
Yes!
Yes! Oh!
293
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:34,040
And then we are gonna
sue the school!
294
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:35,670
[ Grunts ]
Let's back it up just a little bit.
295
00:10:35,670 --> 00:10:36,830
Okay, it's --
296
00:10:36,830 --> 00:10:39,960
I am going to use
all of my resources at work.
297
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:40,920
Okay.
Okay, I'm --
298
00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:42,380
I'm gonna get
a special-effects guy...
299
00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:46,120
Pssh!
...gonna hire a hair and makeup professional.
300
00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:50,880
And I will get real blood
from the hospital.
301
00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:52,250
What?
She might.
302
00:10:52,250 --> 00:10:53,120
Yeah.
303
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:54,750
Your reps are
in the gutter,
304
00:10:54,750 --> 00:10:56,420
and ain't no way
we gonna half-step.
305
00:10:56,420 --> 00:10:57,460
Mnh-mnh.
All right?
306
00:10:57,460 --> 00:11:00,000
So get on board.
Mm-hmm.
307
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,580
I don't know.
308
00:11:02,580 --> 00:11:03,670
We're still not sold, dawg.
309
00:11:03,670 --> 00:11:04,750
Aw, man.
Yeah.
310
00:11:04,750 --> 00:11:06,380
Look, shouldn't we just
accept our place
311
00:11:06,380 --> 00:11:08,540
and keep our heads down
until this all blows over?
312
00:11:08,540 --> 00:11:10,290
It won't.
313
00:11:10,290 --> 00:11:11,960
Kids never forget.
314
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,710
Ever.
315
00:11:13,710 --> 00:11:15,170
32 years ago...
316
00:11:15,170 --> 00:11:16,540
Oh, boy. Here we go.
317
00:11:16,540 --> 00:11:18,460
...your grandma made me
carry a book bag
318
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:20,710
that looked like a purse.
319
00:11:20,710 --> 00:11:23,830
Let's see how my friends
let that go.
320
00:11:23,830 --> 00:11:25,040
Yeah.
321
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:26,790
"7th grade memories?"
322
00:11:26,790 --> 00:11:28,330
Bam. Look at that.
323
00:11:28,330 --> 00:11:31,750
-Your purse, Purse Boy!
-Dre's punk-ass purse.
324
00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:34,710
Ronnie: My mom died.
Also, your purse!
325
00:11:34,710 --> 00:11:36,330
32 years later,
326
00:11:36,330 --> 00:11:38,960
and I'm still Purse Boy.
327
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:40,670
Yeah.
328
00:11:40,670 --> 00:11:42,290
Okay, we're in.
329
00:11:42,290 --> 00:11:44,880
Aw, yes! Okay.
330
00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:47,580
This party is gonna be lit!
331
00:11:47,580 --> 00:11:48,750
I regret it already.
Sh-Sh-She's not
332
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,080
gonna say that
when your friends are here.
333
00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:51,460
I make no promises.
334
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:53,000
[ Groans ]
335
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,830
♪♪
336
00:11:55,830 --> 00:11:57,460
[ Door closes ]
337
00:11:57,460 --> 00:11:59,750
Hey. You just getting home?
338
00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:01,830
Yeah, I was just hanging out
with a friend.
339
00:12:01,830 --> 00:12:02,960
All night?
340
00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:04,670
Yeah, I'm pretty tired.
341
00:12:04,670 --> 00:12:06,670
You want Grandma to make you
a cup of tea, baby?
342
00:12:06,670 --> 00:12:08,330
No, I just need
to rehydrate.
343
00:12:08,330 --> 00:12:09,500
Okay.
344
00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:10,460
[ Sighs ]
345
00:12:10,460 --> 00:12:12,830
♪ Oh, Happy Day ♪
346
00:12:12,830 --> 00:12:14,540
Whoo. Electrolytes...
347
00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:17,170
Mmm.
348
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:19,620
♪ Oh, Happy Day ♪
349
00:12:19,620 --> 00:12:21,000
Okay, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey.
350
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,210
Come here.
351
00:12:22,210 --> 00:12:25,170
What friend were you
hanging out with last night?
352
00:12:25,170 --> 00:12:26,830
I was with Niecy.
353
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,380
Okay.
354
00:12:28,380 --> 00:12:31,920
So, were you with her...
355
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:36,250
or were you with her?
356
00:12:36,250 --> 00:12:38,500
Um, I think
the second one?
357
00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:41,830
Aw, Junior,
I don't believe you.
358
00:12:41,830 --> 00:12:43,710
You can't be running around
my church,
359
00:12:43,710 --> 00:12:45,790
having relations
with people.
360
00:12:45,790 --> 00:12:47,620
Yeah, it -- it was definitely
the second one.
361
00:12:47,620 --> 00:12:50,750
Do you know how clucky
those church hens are?
362
00:12:50,750 --> 00:12:52,620
They're gonna be gossiping
all over the place
363
00:12:52,620 --> 00:12:55,500
about me
and my gigolo grandson
364
00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:58,000
taking advantage of
that sweet little girl.
365
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,670
Niecy texted me,
"You up?" and...
366
00:13:00,670 --> 00:13:02,920
Not one more word
out of you, young man.
367
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:04,170
Go to your room.
368
00:13:04,170 --> 00:13:06,120
Go to your room and
think about what you did.
369
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:07,000
Really?
370
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,620
No. No.
Go to your room
371
00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:10,540
and don't think about
what you did.
372
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:12,750
Get out of here!
373
00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,670
The hell is wrong
with you?
374
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,500
Jack: Oh, man.
375
00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:19,580
I didn't think you guys
could do this.
376
00:13:19,580 --> 00:13:21,670
I mean, you got the whole
seventh grade here,
377
00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:23,170
even Cameron Carter.
378
00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:24,920
Diane: Whoa,
and Emily Copeland.
379
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:27,040
I heard her mom lets her
have co-ed sleepovers.
380
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:30,750
What?
I told you we would deliver the cool kids.
381
00:13:30,750 --> 00:13:35,120
Now, go,
and own this moment.
382
00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:37,880
Jack Johnson, Diane Johnson.
383
00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:39,420
You take
your full-name status
384
00:13:39,420 --> 00:13:41,670
and you just rub it
in everybody's faces.
385
00:13:41,670 --> 00:13:43,580
Go. Go on.
386
00:13:43,580 --> 00:13:47,500
Welcome to a Jack Johnson
and Diane Johnson production
387
00:13:47,500 --> 00:13:50,250
of the scariest night
of your life!
388
00:13:50,250 --> 00:13:51,290
-Yes!
-Whoo!
389
00:13:51,290 --> 00:13:52,750
Oh, and do not forget
to stick around
390
00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:55,330
for the after party,
where there's gonna be a deejay
391
00:13:55,330 --> 00:13:57,670
who will play radio edits
of all your favorite songs.
392
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:58,960
This is lit!
393
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,540
Yeah! That's exactly what
I said, Cameron Carter.
394
00:14:01,540 --> 00:14:02,330
This is lit!
395
00:14:02,330 --> 00:14:04,380
Like, I am legit scared.
396
00:14:04,380 --> 00:14:05,670
This place is hype!
397
00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:07,040
Hyp--
398
00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:08,330
The Hype Twins!
399
00:14:08,330 --> 00:14:10,170
-Oh!
-The Hype Twins!
400
00:14:10,170 --> 00:14:12,170
[ Chanting ]
Hype Twins! Hype Twins!
401
00:14:12,170 --> 00:14:13,880
Hype Twins! Hype Twins!
402
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:15,620
Hype Twins! Hype Twins!
403
00:14:15,620 --> 00:14:16,620
Hype Twins!
404
00:14:16,620 --> 00:14:17,880
We did it.
405
00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:19,290
We saved our kids.
Yes.
406
00:14:19,290 --> 00:14:20,830
Oh, my God. Look.
Go on in.
407
00:14:20,830 --> 00:14:22,210
Oh, look at that!
408
00:14:23,170 --> 00:14:25,210
Are you okay?
[ Voice breaking ] Yeah.
409
00:14:25,210 --> 00:14:28,460
I, uh, just never thought that
I'd be such a good father.
410
00:14:28,460 --> 00:14:29,290
Oh.
411
00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:33,620
[ Children screaming ]
412
00:14:33,620 --> 00:14:36,500
It's a haunted house!
It's supposed to be scary!
413
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:38,750
Don't leave! There's pizza!
414
00:14:38,750 --> 00:14:41,920
No! The pizza's a trap!
It's all a trap!
415
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:44,330
It wasn't real.
It wasn't real.
416
00:14:44,330 --> 00:14:45,830
That baby had a knife!
417
00:14:45,830 --> 00:14:47,290
Where's Joshua?
418
00:14:47,290 --> 00:14:49,330
Has anyone seen Joshua?
419
00:14:50,330 --> 00:14:51,710
Uh...
420
00:14:51,710 --> 00:14:54,040
I think if we find Joshua...
421
00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:56,790
...we can turn this around.
422
00:14:56,790 --> 00:14:58,250
[ Demonic laughter ]
423
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:03,710
Hey, guys.
Hey.
424
00:15:03,710 --> 00:15:05,080
Pizza delivery.
425
00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:07,880
If you like, there's
40 more boxes downstairs.
426
00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:09,250
Yep, 40 more.
427
00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:10,670
Just go.
428
00:15:10,670 --> 00:15:12,120
I'm too upset to eat.
429
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:13,710
We're sorry, all right?
430
00:15:13,710 --> 00:15:16,620
We were -- We were just
trying to help. Yeah.
431
00:15:16,620 --> 00:15:18,830
And in a way,
we did help, you know? Yeah.
432
00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:21,670
Because now, no one's gonna
talk about how lame you were
433
00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:23,000
at school the other day.
434
00:15:25,540 --> 00:15:26,960
Aw, buddy.
Aw, I need a hug, too.
435
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,290
Pepperoni or cheese?
436
00:15:28,290 --> 00:15:29,420
Oh.
437
00:15:32,210 --> 00:15:34,290
How did we
mess this up so bad?
438
00:15:34,290 --> 00:15:36,290
Well, we were just trying
to save our kids
439
00:15:36,290 --> 00:15:38,170
from being Helmet Hair
and Purse Boy.
440
00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:39,330
I know.
441
00:15:39,330 --> 00:15:40,880
Talking about that
seventh-grade purse?
442
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:43,420
Yeah, it ruined
middle school for me.
443
00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:47,170
Your Jheri curl and
all those Chocodiles you ate
444
00:15:47,170 --> 00:15:49,040
ruined middle school
for you.
445
00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:50,580
But you got through it,
didn't you?
446
00:15:50,580 --> 00:15:53,290
If we can make things
a little less awful
447
00:15:53,290 --> 00:15:55,000
for our kids,
shouldn't we?
448
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,120
No.
449
00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:59,000
Middle school is terrible
no matter what.
450
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,580
Now, I know you want
to protect the kids
451
00:16:01,580 --> 00:16:03,920
from the pain of growing up,
but you can't.
452
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:07,830
What you can do is teach them
they can handle it.
453
00:16:07,830 --> 00:16:09,830
She's not wrong.
Mm-hmm.
454
00:16:09,830 --> 00:16:11,670
It's about resilience.
Mm-hmm.
455
00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:15,880
I didn't let being called
Helmet Hair break me.
456
00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:19,000
Pushing through
made me stronger.
457
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:22,330
And that's why you have the
strength to go out in the world
458
00:16:22,330 --> 00:16:25,580
looking like a hot mess
the way you do every day.
459
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:32,040
I am a beautiful
African princess.
460
00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:33,830
Look, Ma,
461
00:16:33,830 --> 00:16:36,120
it's not easy
watching your kids grow up.
462
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,420
Yeah. It happens fast.
463
00:16:38,420 --> 00:16:40,330
One day they're getting
called names
464
00:16:40,330 --> 00:16:43,290
and the next day,
they're sleeping with
465
00:16:43,290 --> 00:16:46,960
the principal soloist
in your church choir.
466
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:48,330
Mama, what you
talking about?
467
00:16:48,330 --> 00:16:51,290
Oh, it's just something
I saw on "Scandal."
468
00:16:51,290 --> 00:16:52,500
The what?
469
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:53,750
Eh...
470
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,330
Excuse me.
Aah!
471
00:16:56,330 --> 00:16:58,420
I'm Joshua Miller.
472
00:16:58,420 --> 00:17:00,960
I'm looking for my parents.
473
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:02,960
Um, you --
Okay.
474
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:05,210
Uh, come this way, dear.
475
00:17:05,210 --> 00:17:09,040
♪♪
476
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:11,380
Junior, there you are.
477
00:17:11,380 --> 00:17:13,580
Grandma, before
you throw that at me,
478
00:17:13,580 --> 00:17:15,040
you've got
your church back.
479
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:16,790
I'm not going out
with Niecy anymore.
480
00:17:16,790 --> 00:17:18,880
Well, I appreciate that.
481
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:21,670
And I'm sorry I upset you.
482
00:17:21,670 --> 00:17:23,670
You know, it was kind of
reckless of me
483
00:17:23,670 --> 00:17:25,670
to hook up with someone
from your church.
484
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:29,500
The truth is, is that wasn't
what bothered me.
485
00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:31,750
You know Grandma
don't really give a damn
486
00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:32,960
about what people think.
487
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:34,330
Then what made you so angry?
488
00:17:34,330 --> 00:17:36,540
Oh, I don't know.
489
00:17:36,540 --> 00:17:39,120
You were supposed to be
off at college
490
00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:41,580
getting your swerve on.
491
00:17:41,580 --> 00:17:44,040
But now you're doing
this gap year thing,
492
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:47,880
and it's all happening
in front of me.
493
00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:51,750
You becoming a man
caught me off guard.
494
00:17:52,830 --> 00:17:54,000
I get that.
495
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,330
It's gonna take me a minute
to get used to
496
00:17:56,330 --> 00:17:59,790
seeing my little grandbaby
as a man.
497
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:03,460
I'll work on that.
498
00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:07,830
So, do men still hug
their grandmas?
499
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:10,830
Come here.
500
00:18:10,830 --> 00:18:13,620
[ Laughs ]
Come here.
501
00:18:13,620 --> 00:18:15,250
[ Chuckles ] Aww.
502
00:18:15,250 --> 00:18:17,250
♪♪
503
00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:18,830
Diane:
I can't believe this.
504
00:18:18,830 --> 00:18:20,210
Jack:
Do we have to go in?
505
00:18:20,210 --> 00:18:21,670
Yeah, can't we just
call in sick?
506
00:18:21,670 --> 00:18:23,790
Or do that cruise ship school
like Zack and Cody?
507
00:18:23,790 --> 00:18:28,120
Look, guys, we know today
is not gonna be easy.
508
00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:30,960
And we are so sorry
for interfering.
509
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:32,880
But there are
just some things
510
00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:36,710
that you are gonna need
to handle on your own now.
511
00:18:36,710 --> 00:18:37,500
Okay?
512
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:39,460
No, not okay.
Wha--
513
00:18:39,460 --> 00:18:40,750
You did this.
514
00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:43,120
I'm gonna have to eat lunch
in the bathroom because of you.
515
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:44,830
Yeah, you two walk us
into this school.
516
00:18:44,830 --> 00:18:46,000
Be our human shield.
517
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,040
We -- We can't.
518
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,290
We're gonna have to
be hands-off.
519
00:18:49,290 --> 00:18:52,580
All right? It's -- It's --
It's what's best.
520
00:18:52,580 --> 00:18:56,330
Well, isn't that convenient
for you, Andre.
521
00:18:56,330 --> 00:18:57,880
Let's just
get this over with.
522
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,620
Have a --
Have a wonderful day.
523
00:19:01,620 --> 00:19:03,250
-Mm-hmm.
-Mm-hmm.
524
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:08,960
It's like watching
"The Green Mile."
525
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,290
Yeah.
Dead twins walking.
526
00:19:11,290 --> 00:19:13,830
Okay, Dre, I know I said
that we wouldn't help,
527
00:19:13,830 --> 00:19:15,170
but I --
528
00:19:15,170 --> 00:19:16,960
I have an idea.
Okay.
529
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:18,380
What if we do help them?
530
00:19:18,380 --> 00:19:19,460
We can't, all right,
531
00:19:19,460 --> 00:19:21,250
even though I want to,
all right?
532
00:19:21,250 --> 00:19:23,080
But they have to do this.
533
00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:24,580
You're right.
534
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:26,580
[ Sighs ]
535
00:19:26,580 --> 00:19:28,120
Let's get out of here.
[ Dinging ]
536
00:19:29,380 --> 00:19:30,830
Use your camera.
537
00:19:30,830 --> 00:19:32,670
I got it right here.
538
00:19:32,670 --> 00:19:34,170
Oh, there's the twins.
539
00:19:34,170 --> 00:19:36,040
Oh, God.
Th-They can't do it.
540
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:39,750
You're wrong.
Our kids can't do it.
541
00:19:39,750 --> 00:19:42,000
[ Gasps ]
They've been exiled.
542
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,880
Damn you, seventh grade.
543
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:45,670
You are not going to believe
what happened.
544
00:19:45,670 --> 00:19:48,000
The haunted house was so scary
Cameron peed himself.
545
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:48,920
Yeah.
546
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:50,290
Cameron Carter
peed himself?
547
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:52,380
A kid that pees himself
doesn't get full name status.
548
00:19:52,380 --> 00:19:54,540
And now everyone's calling him
Pee Pee Carter.
549
00:19:54,540 --> 00:19:56,880
And now we're cool because
it happened at our house.
550
00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:58,380
Oh! Oh, okay.
551
00:19:58,380 --> 00:19:59,710
We're back on top!
552
00:19:59,710 --> 00:20:01,540
Middle school is going to
be amazing from here on out.
553
00:20:01,540 --> 00:20:02,750
Nothing's gonna
bring us down.
554
00:20:02,750 --> 00:20:03,710
[ School bell rings ]
-Okay. -Oh, okay.
555
00:20:03,710 --> 00:20:04,830
Bye.
I told you.
556
00:20:04,830 --> 00:20:06,290
Okay.
Bigger, blacker, deffer!
557
00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:07,460
Okay, okay, babe.
558
00:20:07,460 --> 00:20:09,080
[ Chuckles ]
559
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:10,170
I give 'em about
two days, though,
560
00:20:10,170 --> 00:20:11,380
and they're gonna be
brought down.
561
00:20:11,380 --> 00:20:14,540
Well, let's let them
live this moment.
562
00:20:14,540 --> 00:20:15,620
Okay.
563
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:18,330
Bye, Pee Pee Carter!
564
00:20:18,330 --> 00:20:20,040
Dre, get -- Roll up
the window! I'm going.
565
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:25,330
So my kids were growing up
566
00:20:25,330 --> 00:20:27,000
and learning how to handle
their own business.
567
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,330
And I realized
it was time to handle
568
00:20:29,330 --> 00:20:32,710
some unfinished business
of my own.
569
00:20:32,710 --> 00:20:35,120
Because if you're true
to yourself,
570
00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:37,580
it doesn't matter
what people say.
571
00:20:39,210 --> 00:20:41,750
Hey, everybody.
Dre's got a purse!
572
00:20:41,750 --> 00:20:44,290
That's right [bleep]
573
00:20:44,290 --> 00:20:45,880
You think
I could pull that off?
574
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:47,710
Shorts? No.
575
00:20:47,710 --> 00:20:49,540
But that purse, though?
576
00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:50,710
Also no.
577
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:55,310
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