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DRE: As a parent, you're always finding
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creative new ways
to tell your children "no."
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- Hey, Dad?
- Hm?
4
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Can we go to Pinkberry?
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[Sighs]
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Sorry, baby.
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Pinkberry burned down.
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- All of them?
- Sucks, huh?
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Mom, look! A Ferris wheel!
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Oh, sorry, sweetie.
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Carnivals are 21 and over.
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Ooh! Cotton candy!
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Oh, can we get some? Please?
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Uh, sorry, babies.
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Black people don't eat cotton candy.
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It was picked by slaves.
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Hey, guys.
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- Hey, son.
- Hey, sweetie.
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Can we get a dog?
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Like I always tell you, son...
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of course you can...
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As soon as you come home
with straight A's.
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- [Laughs]
- And those creative ways
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of letting our children down gently
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have always paid off...
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I did.
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I got straight A's.
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...until now.
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So, let me get that dog, playboy.
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?
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Ruff!
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Ruff, ruff, ruff!
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Straight A's?
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- Hm.
- From Jack?
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How did this happen?
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- [Door opens]
- [Squealing]
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Our numbers hit, Betty.
We won the Powerball!
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[Murmuring excitedly]
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[Grunts]
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We can't get a dog.
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We already have our hands full
with four kids.
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Five kids, Dre.
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[Chuckles] Yeah. Okay, Bow.
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Listen, we made an agreement with Jack.
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- We promised.
- Oh, please.
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The people in this house renege
on their promises constantly.
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"Sure, I'll take out the trash."
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"Oh, I'm gonna make you
proud to have a son."
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"Oh, yes, of course I'll keep
doing that thing you like
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after we get married."
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There's something
you said you'd do, too.
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I'm still waiting.
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This family was built on false promises.
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It's payback time.
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Dre, this has nothing to do with
the payback, and you know it.
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This is about your issue with dogs.
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- What are you talking about?
- Mm...
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I do not have an issue with dogs.
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Okay? I promise.
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Look at the dog.
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- MAN: Wait, come back!
- [Dog growling]
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- [Grunts]
- [Dog squeals]
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Hey, what's your problem?!
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That's a dog, you monster!
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We should kick you!
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I had an issue with that dog
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for trying to bite off
my daughter's face.
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And those people
treated me like a monster
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for protecting my baby.
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And the Chihuahua was out for blood.
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- Mm-hmm.
- You talking about that vicious beast
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- that tried to attack my grandbaby?
- Oh, my God.
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- Yes.
- Uh-huh.
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You know how hard it would be
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- to love Zoey if she only had one eye?
- Mm-hmm.
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You saw what happened
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- to your cousin Leon.
- Yeah...
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I had to stop inviting him
to the family reunion
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'cause he was just hard to look at.
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To be fair, Mama,
you didn't have to stop.
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That was your personal choice.
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Well, he was hideous.
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It made me nauseous to look at him.
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Okay, 12-year-old Leon aside,
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I actually think a dog would
be really good for this family.
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How are we gonna have a dog
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when we don't even know
how many kids we have?
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We have five children, Dre.
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Bow, we are not dog people.
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How do you know that?
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Real Black people don't mess with dogs.
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- Bonjour, family!
- Hey!
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- I'm back!
- Hey!
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Uh, it's a long story,
but I was asked to leave France.
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00:03:09,380 --> 00:03:11,113
- Oh.
- Oh, this is Monsieur Luigi.
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He's my emotional-support dog.
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So glad you're here,
but you're not helping my case.
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I know a place where you'd
never be asked to leave.
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This is the one I was telling you about.
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- [Luigi growls]
- Be cool.
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What's the matter, Dre?
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Bow and I were up all night arguing.
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She's pressuring me to get a dog.
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- [Overlapping celebration]
- A dog?!
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Congratulations, Dre!
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That's far more exciting
than last year's news
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about your fourth kid.
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Five.
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- Apparently, I have five kids.
- Wow.
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00:03:45,716 --> 00:03:47,549
- That's way too many.
- It's too many.
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Start sleeping in separate beds.
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I'm just not a dog guy.
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Oh, I get it. Because you're Black.
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You know, a lot of Jewish people
are afraid of German Shepherds.
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So it's a cultural thing.
That makes a lot of sense, Dre.
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Because you grew up in the hood
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where you were surrounded
by vicious dogs
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that people bought for protection
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but they couldn't control.
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So the dogs escaped, and then they just
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wandered the streets thirsty for blood.
123
00:04:05,769 --> 00:04:07,002
Uh... no.
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00:04:07,104 --> 00:04:08,737
Well, then it must be that because,
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during the civil-rights era,
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dogs were used as weapons
against Black people
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by police and lynch mobs.
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00:04:14,078 --> 00:04:16,244
No, but it probably should be.
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00:04:16,347 --> 00:04:18,547
Oh, then it's got to be
because during slave times
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they used "Negro Dogs" to track
and hunt Black people down.
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- Wow. They did that?
- Oh, yeah.
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00:04:22,686 --> 00:04:24,586
You know, all of those
are amazing stories
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that I am going to use from here on out.
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00:04:27,591 --> 00:04:29,057
But to be honest,
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I don't want a dog.
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00:04:30,928 --> 00:04:32,227
- What?!
- How is that possible?
137
00:04:32,329 --> 00:04:34,229
I am disappointed in you, Dre.
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00:04:34,331 --> 00:04:35,831
Black people love dogs,
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00:04:35,899 --> 00:04:38,066
and Mexicans love roosters.
140
00:04:38,168 --> 00:04:39,868
We all have our animals.
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00:04:39,970 --> 00:04:42,504
I, myself, take great pride
in being a dog owner.
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Matter of fact, Peaches and Herb
won Best in Show
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three years straight.
144
00:04:46,744 --> 00:04:48,543
Really? Westminster?
145
00:04:48,645 --> 00:04:50,312
It's pronounced West Covina.
146
00:04:50,414 --> 00:04:52,881
?
147
00:04:52,983 --> 00:04:54,416
[Barking]
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00:04:54,485 --> 00:04:55,751
You all should come one day.
149
00:04:55,853 --> 00:04:58,353
Attendance has been low
ever since we lost that judge
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00:04:58,455 --> 00:05:01,490
- to that wild Shih Tzu from Anaheim.
- DRE: What?
151
00:05:01,558 --> 00:05:03,025
Okay, at the end of the day,
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some people are dog people, some aren't.
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00:05:05,429 --> 00:05:06,661
I am not.
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00:05:06,730 --> 00:05:09,031
Well, does everyone
in your family want a dog?
155
00:05:09,133 --> 00:05:12,134
You know...
156
00:05:12,202 --> 00:05:13,301
I'm not so sure.
157
00:05:13,404 --> 00:05:16,004
?
158
00:05:16,073 --> 00:05:17,706
All right, everybody, listen up.
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00:05:17,775 --> 00:05:21,276
Since I don't like saying "no,"
but I do like being fair...
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Since when?
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...we are taking our decision
to get a dog to a vote.
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No fair! I got straight A's.
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You promised. I deserve this dog.
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00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,386
Spell "deserve," Jack.
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Oh, boy.
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My vote's a "yes."
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That's perfect. A "yes."
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Now, whatever we decide
collectively will be final.
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No pouting, no tears, no take-backs.
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Well, I think a dog is too much work.
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What?!
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I'm the one who always gets
stuck with the responsibility.
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00:05:49,606 --> 00:05:50,605
Oh, Junior...
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00:05:50,674 --> 00:05:52,374
I do not want another
lizard situation...
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00:05:52,476 --> 00:05:54,543
[Inhales sharply]
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00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:56,578
What is your purpose?!
177
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:59,247
- I'm out!
- DRE: Ah, That's my son.
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00:05:59,349 --> 00:06:01,283
- Follow your heart.
- Okay, well, you know what?
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00:06:01,351 --> 00:06:03,151
I'm gonna follow my heart.
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00:06:03,220 --> 00:06:06,188
And my heart votes "yes."
181
00:06:06,290 --> 00:06:08,664
Well, my heart votes "no."
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00:06:08,757 --> 00:06:09,791
I vote "no," too.
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00:06:09,893 --> 00:06:11,460
Ruby, you don't even know
what we're voting on.
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00:06:11,562 --> 00:06:12,661
I don't need to know.
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00:06:12,729 --> 00:06:15,297
Dre came out of my body,
so I side with him.
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00:06:15,399 --> 00:06:16,431
Mm.
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00:06:16,533 --> 00:06:17,632
Fine.
188
00:06:17,701 --> 00:06:21,870
Well, Devante came out my body,
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00:06:21,972 --> 00:06:24,005
- and he sides with me.
- [Quietly] Yeah!
190
00:06:24,108 --> 00:06:25,974
I told you you should've
let me carry that child.
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00:06:26,076 --> 00:06:28,810
That's three votes for "yes"
192
00:06:28,912 --> 00:06:30,879
and three votes for "no,"
193
00:06:30,981 --> 00:06:34,316
which makes Diane the tie-breaker.
194
00:06:34,384 --> 00:06:37,252
And Diane is a cat person.
195
00:06:37,354 --> 00:06:38,954
She hates dogs.
196
00:06:39,056 --> 00:06:40,388
Isn't that right, baby girl?
197
00:06:40,491 --> 00:06:42,190
- I hate everything.
- Ah! [Chuckles]
198
00:06:42,259 --> 00:06:44,526
So, that's a... [clicks tongue twice] "no."
199
00:06:44,628 --> 00:06:48,463
But... I especially hate peace
in this home.
200
00:06:48,565 --> 00:06:49,731
Huh?
201
00:06:49,833 --> 00:06:51,399
I choose chaos.
202
00:06:51,502 --> 00:06:52,968
Don't you do it, Diane.
203
00:06:53,070 --> 00:06:54,069
Dog.
204
00:06:54,171 --> 00:06:55,070
[Cheering]
205
00:06:55,172 --> 00:06:56,538
- Damn you, Diane!
- Boom!
206
00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:58,540
The decision is final.
207
00:06:58,642 --> 00:07:02,844
No pouting, no tears, no take-backs.
208
00:07:02,946 --> 00:07:06,481
Gimme. My. Dog. Playboy.
209
00:07:06,583 --> 00:07:08,734
? Ay, ay, ay ?
210
00:07:08,837 --> 00:07:11,171
Democracy's failed me again.
211
00:07:12,578 --> 00:07:14,382
Aww, it's so cute.
212
00:07:14,461 --> 00:07:17,996
So, looks like you'll be getting a dog.
213
00:07:18,065 --> 00:07:20,748
And since I'm gonna be away
at college getting,
214
00:07:20,819 --> 00:07:23,802
as the kids today would say,
"lit," [chuckles]
215
00:07:23,871 --> 00:07:26,328
I'm gonna need to teach you
how to take care of it.
216
00:07:26,397 --> 00:07:30,966
And because time is limited,
I'm gonna have to be the dog.
217
00:07:31,035 --> 00:07:33,658
First test...
my glucosamine levels are low,
218
00:07:33,729 --> 00:07:36,096
so I'm gonna need you to get
this pill into my mouth.
219
00:07:36,198 --> 00:07:38,031
You cannot use cheese or peanut butter.
220
00:07:38,134 --> 00:07:40,267
Go!
221
00:07:40,369 --> 00:07:41,602
Ptew!
222
00:07:41,704 --> 00:07:42,736
Come on, Jack.
223
00:07:42,805 --> 00:07:45,105
My hip dysplasia
isn't gonna correct itself.
224
00:07:47,710 --> 00:07:49,109
[Chokes]
225
00:07:49,211 --> 00:07:50,911
[Gulps]
226
00:07:50,980 --> 00:07:53,261
- I can't wait to get a dog.
- [Coughs]
227
00:07:53,332 --> 00:07:55,048
- BOW: That one.
- JACK: Aww. That one's so cute!
228
00:07:55,151 --> 00:07:57,684
Ooh, this one's not good around men.
229
00:07:57,787 --> 00:07:59,453
That could make things interesting.
230
00:07:59,555 --> 00:08:00,921
Hey, what are you guys doing?
231
00:08:01,023 --> 00:08:03,524
Oh, we're just looking at shelter dogs.
232
00:08:03,626 --> 00:08:05,893
- Shelter dogs?
- Yes, sir.
233
00:08:05,995 --> 00:08:07,261
I don't want a "knock-off" dog!
234
00:08:07,329 --> 00:08:08,495
A what?
235
00:08:08,597 --> 00:08:10,340
I want something that's gonna
get me robbed at gunpoint.
236
00:08:10,411 --> 00:08:13,011
I-I want a name-brand dog,
237
00:08:13,113 --> 00:08:15,447
a dog with papers.
238
00:08:15,516 --> 00:08:16,559
I want a Gucci.
239
00:08:16,617 --> 00:08:18,517
We're not gonna get a dog from a breeder
240
00:08:18,586 --> 00:08:21,453
when millions of dogs
are euthanized annually.
241
00:08:21,522 --> 00:08:23,222
If I'm being forced to get a dog,
242
00:08:23,324 --> 00:08:24,690
I want to get something that's big,
243
00:08:24,758 --> 00:08:26,391
that's strong, that's strapping.
244
00:08:26,493 --> 00:08:28,527
Like... Like a Boxer named Manslaughter
245
00:08:28,596 --> 00:08:31,029
or... or a Rott named Baby Get-Right.
246
00:08:31,098 --> 00:08:32,297
- "Get-Right"?
- Yeah.
247
00:08:32,366 --> 00:08:33,732
I want people to cross the
street when they see me coming,
248
00:08:33,801 --> 00:08:35,033
and not just because I'm a Black man.
249
00:08:35,135 --> 00:08:36,368
Well, if you need an argument
250
00:08:36,470 --> 00:08:37,636
for a shelter dog, Luigi is...
251
00:08:37,738 --> 00:08:39,037
- I don't.
- [Luigi whimpers]
252
00:08:39,139 --> 00:08:44,476
?
253
00:08:44,578 --> 00:08:46,478
Need any help?
254
00:08:46,547 --> 00:08:48,247
- [Door closes]
- I'm fine.
255
00:08:48,349 --> 00:08:50,148
Yes. You certainly are.
256
00:08:50,217 --> 00:08:53,785
Okay. Ruby, I need to say something.
257
00:08:53,888 --> 00:08:55,254
While I'm here visiting,
258
00:08:55,322 --> 00:08:59,958
maybe we could cool it
on the weird flirty stuff, okay?
259
00:09:00,060 --> 00:09:01,293
Flirty stuff?
260
00:09:01,395 --> 00:09:04,096
Yeah, you know, like the comment
that you made yesterday.
261
00:09:04,198 --> 00:09:05,731
And like how you're in my room now
262
00:09:05,833 --> 00:09:07,132
even though the door was closed.
263
00:09:07,234 --> 00:09:08,133
And it was locked.
264
00:09:08,202 --> 00:09:11,169
Oh, Johan. I am so sorry.
265
00:09:11,272 --> 00:09:16,174
I was simply complimenting you
on your undeniable good looks.
266
00:09:16,243 --> 00:09:20,879
Some might say you resemble
a modern-day Lionel Richie.
267
00:09:20,948 --> 00:09:23,415
I never meant to make you uncomfortable.
268
00:09:23,517 --> 00:09:24,483
I feel terrible.
269
00:09:24,585 --> 00:09:27,185
Really? So, we're cool?
270
00:09:27,288 --> 00:09:28,687
Oh, yeah.
271
00:09:28,789 --> 00:09:29,721
We cool.
272
00:09:29,790 --> 00:09:31,890
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
273
00:09:31,959 --> 00:09:33,625
Hey, you really think
I look like Lionel?
274
00:09:33,727 --> 00:09:35,427
Maybe Commodores Lionel.
275
00:09:35,496 --> 00:09:36,628
[Chuckles]
276
00:09:36,730 --> 00:09:38,297
Before he got money.
277
00:09:42,536 --> 00:09:44,436
[Car engines revving on TV]
278
00:09:47,841 --> 00:09:49,608
Dude. What the hell are you doing?
279
00:09:49,677 --> 00:09:51,510
I'm getting you ready for a big dog.
280
00:09:51,612 --> 00:09:53,412
And big dogs love a lap.
281
00:09:55,382 --> 00:09:56,481
Dude...
282
00:09:56,583 --> 00:09:58,984
Junior, do you want me
to chop you in your throat?
283
00:09:59,086 --> 00:10:00,385
Oh, I'm not Junior.
284
00:10:00,454 --> 00:10:02,521
I'm a hundred-pound Rottweiler
with leash aggression
285
00:10:02,623 --> 00:10:04,089
who thinks he's a lapdog.
286
00:10:06,060 --> 00:10:07,025
Oh, my God.
287
00:10:07,127 --> 00:10:09,461
You want a dog? I'll give you a dog.
288
00:10:09,563 --> 00:10:12,230
It's time to prepare you
for your new reality.
289
00:10:12,333 --> 00:10:14,433
[Barking]
290
00:10:14,535 --> 00:10:15,567
Uh-oh!
291
00:10:15,669 --> 00:10:18,537
Look what I got into.
292
00:10:18,639 --> 00:10:19,671
Dude!
293
00:10:24,945 --> 00:10:26,712
Squirrel! Squirrel!
294
00:10:26,814 --> 00:10:30,115
Squirrel! Squirrel! There's a squirrel!
295
00:10:30,217 --> 00:10:31,350
Junior, stop it.
296
00:10:31,418 --> 00:10:33,552
We're trying to do our homework.
297
00:10:33,620 --> 00:10:35,988
Oh. Can I see that for a second?
298
00:10:37,992 --> 00:10:39,057
Dude!
299
00:10:39,159 --> 00:10:40,158
Ptew!
300
00:10:40,260 --> 00:10:41,426
Dog just ate your homework.
301
00:10:41,495 --> 00:10:42,861
What is wrong with you?!
302
00:10:45,366 --> 00:10:47,165
[Sighs]
303
00:10:47,267 --> 00:10:49,735
Eugh. Why is the floor wet?
304
00:10:49,803 --> 00:10:51,703
Because you were too lazy
to take me out.
305
00:10:51,772 --> 00:10:54,573
?
306
00:10:54,641 --> 00:10:55,841
- Hey.
- Hey.
307
00:10:55,943 --> 00:10:57,409
Great news, Dre.
308
00:10:57,511 --> 00:11:00,312
- Mm-hmm.
- I found a Boxer Rescue.
309
00:11:00,381 --> 00:11:01,847
So, you get to get
the kind of dog you want
310
00:11:01,915 --> 00:11:04,449
and we get to rescue a dog
and give it a good home!
311
00:11:04,551 --> 00:11:05,417
- Okay.
- So cool.
312
00:11:05,519 --> 00:11:06,818
- And look. This is Marla.
- Hey.
313
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:09,421
She is our rescue-placement coordinator.
314
00:11:09,523 --> 00:11:11,757
This is my husband, Andre Johnson.
315
00:11:11,859 --> 00:11:13,392
He's the... He'll...
316
00:11:13,494 --> 00:11:14,693
This is Dre.
317
00:11:14,762 --> 00:11:17,429
Excuse me. I'm sorry.
[Chuckles] What are you doing?
318
00:11:17,531 --> 00:11:18,897
Oh, it's just protocol.
319
00:11:18,999 --> 00:11:20,932
It's my job to make sure
there aren't any
320
00:11:21,035 --> 00:11:23,135
potential dangers around your home.
321
00:11:23,203 --> 00:11:24,803
Is our child in danger?
322
00:11:24,872 --> 00:11:26,505
Oh, no, no. Not him. Not him.
323
00:11:26,607 --> 00:11:27,639
The dog.
324
00:11:27,708 --> 00:11:30,842
Babies can be extremely
aggressive with pets...
325
00:11:30,944 --> 00:11:32,611
- Mm.
- ...so...
326
00:11:32,713 --> 00:11:37,716
Will the baby be spending
much time inside the home?
327
00:11:37,818 --> 00:11:38,884
Lots of stairs.
328
00:11:38,952 --> 00:11:40,786
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, you know, dogs have legs.
329
00:11:40,888 --> 00:11:41,753
[Both laugh]
330
00:11:41,855 --> 00:11:43,188
Some of them.
331
00:11:43,257 --> 00:11:44,156
[Camera shutter clicks]
332
00:11:44,224 --> 00:11:45,791
- Oh.
- Ow.
333
00:11:45,859 --> 00:11:50,062
So as you can see, we have
a very dog-friendly car.
334
00:11:50,130 --> 00:11:52,064
And, oh...
335
00:11:52,166 --> 00:11:53,498
Third-row seating.
336
00:11:53,567 --> 00:11:58,570
So, there's plenty of room
for our family and a dog.
337
00:11:58,639 --> 00:11:59,805
And then, oh...
338
00:11:59,873 --> 00:12:01,573
Ah, look at that. So easy.
339
00:12:01,675 --> 00:12:03,241
Dog could probably do that
with his nose!
340
00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:04,910
Just open that seat up.
341
00:12:04,978 --> 00:12:06,511
We encourage you not to teach your dog
342
00:12:06,613 --> 00:12:08,046
to move things with his face.
343
00:12:08,148 --> 00:12:09,047
Oh. Great.
344
00:12:09,116 --> 00:12:10,782
I didn't realize that.
345
00:12:11,852 --> 00:12:13,752
So, you're both aware
that someone is required
346
00:12:13,821 --> 00:12:15,287
to be at home with the dog at all times?
347
00:12:15,355 --> 00:12:16,955
- Mm-hmm.
- Good.
348
00:12:17,024 --> 00:12:19,357
And your highest level of education is?
349
00:12:19,426 --> 00:12:20,859
Oh, uh, M.D.
350
00:12:20,961 --> 00:12:21,827
I'm a doctor.
351
00:12:21,929 --> 00:12:23,361
- Wow.
- Yes.
352
00:12:23,464 --> 00:12:25,130
- Yeah.
- And you, Mr. Johnson?
353
00:12:25,232 --> 00:12:27,432
Your highest level of education?
354
00:12:27,534 --> 00:12:29,434
Oh, B.A.
355
00:12:29,503 --> 00:12:32,437
Okay. So, just college.
356
00:12:32,539 --> 00:12:34,539
What do you mean, "just college"?
357
00:12:34,641 --> 00:12:36,975
It's just part of the process,
Mr. Johnson.
358
00:12:37,044 --> 00:12:39,611
We're only trying to ensure
that we place the animal
359
00:12:39,713 --> 00:12:40,879
in a suitable home.
360
00:12:40,981 --> 00:12:43,048
"Suitable home"?
361
00:12:43,150 --> 00:12:45,717
We have a yard
with a working water hose,
362
00:12:45,786 --> 00:12:47,552
which is more than I can say
for my cousins
363
00:12:47,654 --> 00:12:48,720
who live in Inglewood!
364
00:12:48,822 --> 00:12:50,522
So, next you're probably gonna
tell me that the dog
365
00:12:50,624 --> 00:12:51,756
is gonna need its own driver.
366
00:12:51,859 --> 00:12:53,091
Is that what's happening now?
367
00:12:53,193 --> 00:12:57,395
No. All we require is
a well-balanced diet, shelter,
368
00:12:57,498 --> 00:12:58,797
standard health insurance.
369
00:12:58,866 --> 00:13:01,299
Health insurance? For a dog?
370
00:13:01,401 --> 00:13:02,534
Dre, that totally makes sense.
371
00:13:02,603 --> 00:13:04,369
I mean, we have seen patients
at the hospital
372
00:13:04,438 --> 00:13:06,171
who did not have health insurance,
373
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:07,672
and my God, that was a nightmare.
374
00:13:07,774 --> 00:13:10,041
Okay, those patients are people, Bow.
375
00:13:10,110 --> 00:13:12,210
And people are not dogs.
376
00:13:12,312 --> 00:13:13,478
You're right.
377
00:13:13,547 --> 00:13:16,715
Dogs are much more sensitive creatures.
378
00:13:16,783 --> 00:13:18,350
- I kicked a dog!
- Oh, my God.
379
00:13:18,418 --> 00:13:19,618
- What?
- Dre...
380
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:21,887
So, I bought myself some time
on the dog issue
381
00:13:21,989 --> 00:13:24,122
and put my focus back into work.
382
00:13:24,224 --> 00:13:26,658
And I think this is
a really good campaign
383
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:29,828
that's gonna help us bring
these missing girls back home.
384
00:13:31,265 --> 00:13:34,199
Okay, okay, look. This is ridiculous!
385
00:13:34,268 --> 00:13:35,834
All right, whose idea was it
386
00:13:35,903 --> 00:13:37,536
to Bring Your Dog to Work Day?
387
00:13:37,604 --> 00:13:40,005
Your little discussion
the other day on pets
388
00:13:40,073 --> 00:13:41,006
inspired us, Dre.
389
00:13:41,108 --> 00:13:42,507
So, I guess it was your idea.
390
00:13:42,576 --> 00:13:45,777
Lookit... we have to go through
an entire work week
391
00:13:45,846 --> 00:13:47,212
barely seeing our loved ones.
392
00:13:47,281 --> 00:13:49,381
So, I thought, why not designate
393
00:13:49,449 --> 00:13:51,750
a Bring Your Loved One to Work Day?
394
00:13:51,818 --> 00:13:54,486
Okay, well why not
Bring Your Spouse to Work Day,
395
00:13:54,588 --> 00:13:56,988
or Bring Your Kid to Work Day instead?
396
00:13:57,090 --> 00:13:58,857
Or... A Girl You Met at the Club
397
00:13:58,959 --> 00:14:01,826
and You Want to Show Her
that You Have a Job to Work Day.
398
00:14:01,895 --> 00:14:03,628
And I thought you said
you didn't even like dogs.
399
00:14:03,697 --> 00:14:05,297
No. I said I don't like
German Shepherds.
400
00:14:05,365 --> 00:14:07,199
But Ella-Jo here is a poodle.
401
00:14:07,301 --> 00:14:08,600
[Baby talking] Aren't you?
402
00:14:08,669 --> 00:14:10,468
And you would never commit
genocide, would you, Ella-Jo?
403
00:14:10,571 --> 00:14:12,938
No you wouldn't. Oh, no, you wouldn't.
404
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:16,708
Is that $2,000 designer dog carrier?
405
00:14:16,810 --> 00:14:18,877
What's wrong?
I have seen you carry your baby
406
00:14:18,946 --> 00:14:21,112
in a Gucci bjorn plenty of times.
407
00:14:21,215 --> 00:14:22,981
Why can't my baby have the best, too?
408
00:14:23,083 --> 00:14:24,149
Because it's not a baby.
409
00:14:24,251 --> 00:14:25,984
Well, for those of us
who don't have children,
410
00:14:26,086 --> 00:14:27,352
we consider them our babies.
411
00:14:27,454 --> 00:14:29,588
Dogs are way better than babies.
412
00:14:29,690 --> 00:14:31,957
You never have to bail a dog
out of jail.
413
00:14:32,059 --> 00:14:34,125
You never have to send a dog
away to boarding school
414
00:14:34,228 --> 00:14:35,994
till things blow over with the cops.
415
00:14:36,096 --> 00:14:37,562
I miss Switzerland.
416
00:14:37,664 --> 00:14:39,331
Dogs should not be in the workplace.
417
00:14:39,433 --> 00:14:40,498
It's unsafe.
418
00:14:40,601 --> 00:14:42,300
How do we know that one of these dogs
419
00:14:42,402 --> 00:14:43,568
isn't just gonna snap on somebody?
420
00:14:43,670 --> 00:14:46,638
Oh, Duke would never snap at anybody.
421
00:14:46,740 --> 00:14:48,006
[Baby talking] Would you, David Duke?
422
00:14:48,075 --> 00:14:49,474
How would you know?
423
00:14:49,576 --> 00:14:51,076
He's an animal...
424
00:14:51,178 --> 00:14:52,277
named David Duke.
425
00:14:52,346 --> 00:14:54,713
Dre, you really need to calm down, okay?
426
00:14:54,815 --> 00:14:57,349
I had no idea that our dogs
would make you so angry.
427
00:14:57,451 --> 00:14:59,918
No. You know what makes me angry?
428
00:15:00,020 --> 00:15:03,822
People giving more consideration
to animals than people.
429
00:15:03,924 --> 00:15:07,626
This country was more upset
at Cecil the Lion's death
430
00:15:07,728 --> 00:15:09,828
than it was about Mike Brown.
431
00:15:09,930 --> 00:15:12,364
- Who's Mike Brown?
- The same thing with Katrina.
432
00:15:12,466 --> 00:15:14,733
I remember you all up in here
433
00:15:14,835 --> 00:15:17,135
rallying to raise money for animals
434
00:15:17,237 --> 00:15:18,837
when people's lives were at stake.
435
00:15:18,939 --> 00:15:20,272
Not true, Dre.
436
00:15:20,374 --> 00:15:22,941
We raised money for the
restoration of the Superdome.
437
00:15:23,043 --> 00:15:24,843
We put the Wetzel's Pretzels in there.
438
00:15:24,945 --> 00:15:26,077
Hello!
439
00:15:26,179 --> 00:15:27,512
You guys sound crazy.
440
00:15:27,614 --> 00:15:28,780
Ain't that the truth, brother?
441
00:15:28,882 --> 00:15:30,415
[Chuckles]
442
00:15:30,517 --> 00:15:31,983
Wait a minute...
443
00:15:32,085 --> 00:15:34,319
Where are Peaches and Herb?
444
00:15:34,421 --> 00:15:36,454
[Barking]
445
00:15:37,791 --> 00:15:39,224
By the time I got home,
446
00:15:39,326 --> 00:15:42,394
I decided I didn't need
any more creative ways
447
00:15:42,496 --> 00:15:43,495
to say "no."
448
00:15:43,597 --> 00:15:45,797
We are not getting a dog...
449
00:15:50,537 --> 00:15:52,237
Which seems to be the right idea,
450
00:15:52,339 --> 00:15:55,340
since there's no one watching you.
451
00:15:55,442 --> 00:15:56,875
Where's everybody at, huh?
452
00:15:58,002 --> 00:16:01,111
Once I told my family
we weren't getting a dog,
453
00:16:01,174 --> 00:16:03,635
I was immediately iced out.
454
00:16:03,721 --> 00:16:05,896
Hey, guys! Who wants some frozen yogurt?
455
00:16:05,964 --> 00:16:07,107
I'm buying.
456
00:16:11,181 --> 00:16:12,681
Junior? What's your problem, man?
457
00:16:12,735 --> 00:16:13,915
You didn't even want the dog.
458
00:16:13,986 --> 00:16:16,820
No. But I put in 24 thankless hours
459
00:16:16,922 --> 00:16:18,397
to prepare the twins for one.
460
00:16:18,491 --> 00:16:20,625
I let them crate me.
461
00:16:20,727 --> 00:16:24,562
Fine. More frozen yogurt for me.
462
00:16:24,664 --> 00:16:26,063
Move, Johan.
463
00:16:33,473 --> 00:16:35,339
Are you upset about the dog thing, too?
464
00:16:35,441 --> 00:16:38,542
- Actually, I'm kind of upset about Ruby.
- What?
465
00:16:38,611 --> 00:16:40,378
She seems to have forgotten
I even exist.
466
00:16:40,446 --> 00:16:43,714
All of her lack of attention
has made me vulnerable.
467
00:16:43,816 --> 00:16:46,050
Suddenly, I'm insecure and needy.
468
00:16:46,152 --> 00:16:47,551
Tell me I'm enough.
469
00:16:47,620 --> 00:16:49,520
So, a woman whose advances drove you
470
00:16:49,622 --> 00:16:51,989
to file a restraining order
from another country
471
00:16:52,091 --> 00:16:53,491
is now someone that you miss?
472
00:16:53,593 --> 00:16:55,059
Desperately.
473
00:16:55,161 --> 00:16:57,294
Well, I tried everything.
474
00:16:57,397 --> 00:16:59,463
I even offered Jack to drive your car,
475
00:16:59,532 --> 00:17:01,932
and he told me to go take a flying leaf.
476
00:17:02,001 --> 00:17:03,067
Ooh. Wow.
477
00:17:03,169 --> 00:17:04,568
He did not get straight A's.
478
00:17:04,671 --> 00:17:06,003
Well, you know what, Dre?
479
00:17:06,105 --> 00:17:07,505
You get what you deserve.
480
00:17:07,573 --> 00:17:09,774
You put your selfish feelings about dogs
481
00:17:09,876 --> 00:17:11,008
above everybody else's.
482
00:17:11,077 --> 00:17:12,309
Am I being selfish?
483
00:17:12,412 --> 00:17:15,246
Look, we have enough going on
with our family and our kids.
484
00:17:15,314 --> 00:17:17,748
I just didn't want another thing
to be responsible for.
485
00:17:17,850 --> 00:17:18,916
What are you responsible for?
486
00:17:18,985 --> 00:17:23,320
Name one thing... and not your sneakers.
487
00:17:23,423 --> 00:17:25,022
Well, I don't know.
488
00:17:25,091 --> 00:17:27,958
Dre, a dog is not a thing.
489
00:17:28,061 --> 00:17:32,363
I mean, growing up, our dog was like...
490
00:17:32,465 --> 00:17:34,165
It was like part of our family.
491
00:17:34,267 --> 00:17:35,132
In ninth grade...
492
00:17:35,234 --> 00:17:37,101
- Mm-hmm.
- ...I had mono.
493
00:17:37,170 --> 00:17:39,970
And I had to be in bed
for a whole month.
494
00:17:40,073 --> 00:17:43,674
And Goddess just sat with me
the whole time.
495
00:17:43,776 --> 00:17:47,111
And I felt so much less lonely.
496
00:17:47,180 --> 00:17:48,779
I know that you see it
as just an animal,
497
00:17:48,848 --> 00:17:50,047
but they can be so much more.
498
00:17:50,149 --> 00:17:51,482
I mean...
499
00:17:51,551 --> 00:17:54,785
I felt like... like she was a friend.
500
00:17:54,854 --> 00:17:56,353
But I have real friends.
501
00:17:56,422 --> 00:17:57,722
You know, sometimes, as a parent,
502
00:17:57,790 --> 00:18:00,624
you need to put your children's
wants above your own...
503
00:18:00,727 --> 00:18:01,659
[Groans]
504
00:18:01,761 --> 00:18:03,094
...even when it's hard.
505
00:18:06,466 --> 00:18:08,099
Don't make this the hill you die on.
506
00:18:09,702 --> 00:18:12,703
?
507
00:18:12,805 --> 00:18:13,904
- Uh, Ruby?
- Mm?
508
00:18:13,973 --> 00:18:16,474
Have you seen Luigi?
I think he might've gotten out.
509
00:18:16,576 --> 00:18:18,976
I could really use some emotional
support right about now.
510
00:18:19,078 --> 00:18:21,178
Aww, sweetheart, I'm so sorry.
511
00:18:21,247 --> 00:18:22,646
I'll keep my eyes open.
512
00:18:22,749 --> 00:18:24,215
Wait.
513
00:18:24,317 --> 00:18:27,952
Maybe you could be my emotional support?
514
00:18:28,020 --> 00:18:32,656
Johan, you were very clear
about how I made you feel.
515
00:18:32,759 --> 00:18:34,492
Now, I don't want you
to be uncomfortable.
516
00:18:34,594 --> 00:18:36,494
No, I-I'm comfortable.
517
00:18:36,562 --> 00:18:38,863
This is actually helping.
518
00:18:38,965 --> 00:18:41,298
I can feel myself settling down.
519
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,501
Well, good. Good. I'm glad.
520
00:18:43,603 --> 00:18:45,770
Yeah. Yeah, me too.
521
00:18:45,872 --> 00:18:47,071
[Inhales]
522
00:18:47,140 --> 00:18:51,075
Would it be more supportive
if I took my top off?
523
00:18:53,112 --> 00:18:55,179
I'm... not sure.
524
00:18:58,951 --> 00:19:00,317
DRE: Hey, guys!
525
00:19:00,419 --> 00:19:02,186
Daddy's got a surprise!
526
00:19:08,027 --> 00:19:11,362
- He's so cute!
- Aww! So cute!
527
00:19:11,464 --> 00:19:12,930
Where'd you get him?
528
00:19:13,032 --> 00:19:15,666
Well, I found him at a shelter.
529
00:19:15,768 --> 00:19:16,767
Aww.
530
00:19:16,869 --> 00:19:18,135
He's amazing.
531
00:19:18,204 --> 00:19:19,837
I love you, Baby Get-Right!
532
00:19:19,939 --> 00:19:21,305
I'm so proud of you.
533
00:19:21,407 --> 00:19:24,175
You sacrificed a tough dog for the kids.
534
00:19:24,277 --> 00:19:25,543
Yeah, I'll take this one right here.
535
00:19:25,645 --> 00:19:26,911
[Barking]
536
00:19:27,013 --> 00:19:28,546
Okay! Okay!
537
00:19:28,648 --> 00:19:29,914
Give me this one.
538
00:19:29,982 --> 00:19:31,549
Well, you know...
539
00:19:31,651 --> 00:19:32,983
I wanted the kids to have
what they wanted.
540
00:19:33,085 --> 00:19:33,984
Yes, of course.
541
00:19:34,086 --> 00:19:35,419
- Yeah.
- Ooh! I'll feed him first!
542
00:19:35,521 --> 00:19:36,787
No, me. I'll walk him.
543
00:19:36,889 --> 00:19:38,923
Well, I mean,
maybe I can pitch in and help
544
00:19:39,025 --> 00:19:40,991
if you guys want.
545
00:19:41,093 --> 00:19:43,127
You don't have to do all the work.
546
00:19:43,229 --> 00:19:44,328
It's okay, Junior.
547
00:19:44,430 --> 00:19:46,197
You can go ahead
and give the lizard a bath.
548
00:19:46,299 --> 00:19:49,800
- Yeah. He's not gonna bathe himself.
- Mm-hmm.
549
00:19:49,902 --> 00:19:51,402
?
550
00:19:51,504 --> 00:19:53,003
- Eh.
- Go give the lizard a bath.
551
00:19:53,028 --> 00:19:54,048
Okay.
552
00:19:54,073 --> 00:19:56,227
[Baby talking] Hi, honey. Hi.
553
00:19:57,158 --> 00:19:59,692
[Sports announcer commentating]
554
00:20:01,750 --> 00:20:02,983
Hey...
555
00:20:03,042 --> 00:20:06,443
you and me are not cool, understand?
556
00:20:14,386 --> 00:20:16,319
Pfft. Man, I got five kids.
557
00:20:16,397 --> 00:20:17,788
That look does not work on me.
558
00:20:20,459 --> 00:20:22,025
Oh. Oh. [Chuckles]
559
00:20:22,127 --> 00:20:25,295
Okay. Your nose is all wet and tickly.
560
00:20:25,397 --> 00:20:27,364
Okay. All right.
561
00:20:27,466 --> 00:20:29,433
[Baby talking] You're such a good boy.
562
00:20:29,535 --> 00:20:30,834
Yeah.
563
00:20:30,936 --> 00:20:32,135
Yeah, come here.
564
00:20:32,238 --> 00:20:33,370
Come here. Oh.
565
00:20:33,472 --> 00:20:35,439
So cute and soft.
566
00:20:35,541 --> 00:20:37,107
Oh, wow.
567
00:20:37,209 --> 00:20:38,275
[Chuckles]
568
00:20:38,377 --> 00:20:40,210
You like it when I call you
cute and soft?
569
00:20:40,312 --> 00:20:42,045
You like it when I pat
your belly like this?
570
00:20:42,147 --> 00:20:43,747
Like me to pet your belly? [Chuckles]
571
00:20:43,849 --> 00:20:46,049
- [Normal voice] Watch the game a minute.
- [Door opens]
572
00:20:46,151 --> 00:20:48,919
Okay, go. Go, go, go, go, go, go.
Go, go, go.
573
00:20:48,976 --> 00:20:49,992
Hey, guys.
574
00:20:50,022 --> 00:20:51,344
- Hey.
- Hey.
575
00:20:51,426 --> 00:20:53,031
All right.
576
00:20:53,133 --> 00:20:57,233
577
00:20:57,283 --> 00:21:01,833
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