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Dre: As a parent, you're
always questioning
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00:00:02,593 --> 00:00:05,257
whether or not you're doing
the right thing for your kids.
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[TV plays indistinctly] Am I giving
them enough attention?
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Dad?
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Dad!
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Refill that for your old man.
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Am I saying the right things?
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Dad, what was Mom like when you met her?
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Loose.
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Loose.
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Am I handling situations
in the best way possible?
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Ah-choo!
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00:00:26,056 --> 00:00:28,469
15
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[Gasping]
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Ah-choo!
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[Groans]
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Ah!
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Doesn't feel so good, does it?
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00:00:37,850 --> 00:00:40,484
But the one thing you have
to get right as a parent
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is making sure you get your kid ready
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for the next chapter in life... college.
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Hey, Junior. Catching this?
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All over it, Dad.
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Here we are.
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College acceptance day.
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Zoey's future is one click away.
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I got in! Oh, gosh. Oh, God!
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Yes, congratulations, baby!
I knew you could do it!
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I knew you could do it!
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In your face, Junior!
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Pops: Look at that.
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Why?
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Where, where, where, where'd you get in?
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NYU. I got in to NYU!
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NYU?! Yes!
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NYU. That... That's in New York.
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Oh, okay.
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Maybe she doesn't need to go to college.
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Jesus didn't, and he was fine.
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Uh, New York is pretty far away. Yeah.
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And so is Miami, where I just got in!
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Miami!
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[Cheers and applause]
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- Yay. Good for you.
- Excuse me.
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Uh, let me know if you need a linen guy.
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Wa-Wa-Wait, I-I may not need one,
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because I just got
in to Vanderbilt, too!
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Rainbow: [Gasps] Vanderbilt, Vanderbilt!
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Wait, where is Vanderbilt?
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Tennessee.
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Above Alabama.
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Below Kentucky.
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It's that way.
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Ooh! I got in to Southern
Cal, too!
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Rainbow: No way!
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Boom! That's what I'm talking about!
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Southern Cal is the best school
in the country, baby girl!
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Congratulations!
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Best school in the country?
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That's not even the best school in L.A.
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Shut up, Junior!
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- What do you know, huh?
- Dre!
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Baby, he is talking out of his ass.
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00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:09,295
Congratulations on
getting out of here, Zoey.
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Thank you.
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00:02:10,365 --> 00:02:11,664
But it's not all great news.
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I... didn't get in to Brown, Mom.
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Aw. Aw. That's all right.
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Boom!
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In your face, Dad!
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Oh.
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Well, you know what?
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I am so proud of you, Zoey.
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For all the work that
you've done this year!
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I knew you could do it!
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I never thought she could do it.
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Dre, she not only got in to college...
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she has choices.
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She's a rock star!
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Yeah.
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This is all your fault.
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- What's my fault?
- You made our daughter believe
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that she could do anything.
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You did this.
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I'm a monster.
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Yes. You are.
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And because of that, she's gonna go
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clear across the
country to go to college.
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Honey, I understand what you're feeling.
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But I'm gonna miss her
just as much as you.
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No, you won't.
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Because you don't love her like I do.
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She and I are each other's favorite.
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Oh. My favorite.
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Mm.
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00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:04,951
I mean, why do I need a will?
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All I ask is that you're
fair and give your siblings
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whatever it is you don't want, okay?
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Oh. There they go.
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[Screams]
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[Laughs] We got you, and
we got it all on video!
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And it's posted.
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Whatever.
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Zoey and I have a
special relationship, too.
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- Hey.
- I was just wondering,
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if, you know, you want to...
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just talk about anything... special,
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you know, just girl-to-girl.
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Gross.
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Hey, girl.
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[Beep] Go away.
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Hey! Hi!
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How was school, today?
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- Great. The funniest thing happened...
- Oh, tell me!
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Wha... ?
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She's not very nice to me.
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Mm.
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Why did I expect the woman
I married to understand me?
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I needed real help on this one.
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Well, I know how to stop your daughter
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from going to New York, Dre.
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Did you ever see the movie "Room?"
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Is that the one where
the girl gets kidnapped
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and thrown into a shed?
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Yeah, but she gets away.
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Okay, forget it, guys.
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Sorry I asked.
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Hey, lookit. I don't know
why you have to argue, Dre.
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I mean, we have practically
raised your kids for you.
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My kids are spoiled rotten.
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Well, has it occurred to you
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that maybe you're not
buying them enough stuff?
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What?
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00:04:25,199 --> 00:04:27,366
Well, this big white
kid bullying my son.
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A white bully?
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Easy!
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Just go straight for the throat balls.
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[Chuckling] Right? Am I... ?
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00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:36,475
You have got to keep tabs
on your kids at all times.
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Technology will let you do that.
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Like right now,
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my boys are... in my kitchen
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filling a gunny-sack
full of cantaloupes.
146
00:04:45,420 --> 00:04:47,119
Ooh. Can't go home right now.
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Why don't you ever listen, Dre?
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These guys are dropping gems.
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Thank you, doodlebug.
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00:04:51,626 --> 00:04:53,893
Hey. I don't know how
you're gonna do it, Dre.
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00:04:53,928 --> 00:04:55,861
I can't even leave my cat home alone.
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By the way, my cat is in my office.
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He's too sick to go to daycare today.
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[Cat yowling in distance]
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Yeah, I got to go.
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Coming, Andre Johnson!
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- Huh?
- [Yowling continues]
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I named him that before I met you.
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I have proof.
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Uh, did you ever think
about just breaking her, Dre?
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What? You know, crushing her soul
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so she doesn't have the
confidence to leave you.
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I do that with all the women in my life.
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[Chuckles] That's definitely
what you did to Mom.
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Ah, yeah. That was some of my best work.
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She was a tough break.
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Okay. For some reason, I don't think
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breaking my daughter
is the right approach.
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Charlie: I don't know, Dre.
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I stopped feeding
Eustace when he refused
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to push my hernia back in.
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But on day five...
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he manned uppity-up
up up uppity-up up up.
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Two too many "ups".
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176
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Okay, so here are the Carolinas.
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There's North Carolina, and there's...
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Sweet Carolina.
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[Sighs] Don't worry.
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I'll never let them take you.
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All right. Now we have
to figure out a way
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to keep Zoey from going to Vanderbilt.
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What's wrong with Vanderbilt?
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Zoey's not ready for Tennessee.
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00:06:00,834 --> 00:06:03,334
They got deep-fried racism down there.
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00:06:03,370 --> 00:06:06,004
She's used to this
ocean-breeze racism out here.
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00:06:06,039 --> 00:06:08,573
Uh, but we don't get to pick
where Zoey goes to college.
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00:06:08,608 --> 00:06:10,975
You're thinking about this "going
to college" thing all wrong, son.
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You've got to make Zoey's
education work for you.
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It's not about where she wants to go.
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It's about where you want to visit her.
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It is?
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What, do you think I sent Dre to Howard
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because I thought it was good for him?
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No.
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00:06:22,889 --> 00:06:26,716
I sent Dre to Howard because
I had a little lady friend
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over in Virginia who I
couldn't get enough of.
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Aww. Grandma?
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She had a grandma.
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I couldn't take Charlie
and Stevens' advice
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to ruin my daughter, but
I could ruin New York.
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Ow!
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Kaboom!
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What the hell?!
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Hey, that's what happens when
you live in New York City.
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They throw snowballs... at your face.
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- Dre.
- Hm?
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00:06:48,111 --> 00:06:49,777
You could've really hurt her.
209
00:06:49,813 --> 00:06:51,679
Could have? This was mostly ice.
210
00:06:51,715 --> 00:06:54,015
Hey, if this was Brooklyn,
it would've been a tire.
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A ti... wha... ?
212
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I don't know. I don't know. What?
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And then I doubled down
214
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and gave Zoey a taste of
a real New York night.
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00:07:03,126 --> 00:07:05,326
[Traffic sounds playing]
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00:07:09,132 --> 00:07:12,433
[Volume increases]
217
00:07:15,272 --> 00:07:17,038
So loud.
218
00:07:17,073 --> 00:07:19,107
So cold.
219
00:07:19,142 --> 00:07:21,342
220
00:07:21,378 --> 00:07:24,312
Finally, I went for the jugular.
221
00:07:24,381 --> 00:07:26,749
I can't find my car keys.
222
00:07:26,788 --> 00:07:28,316
Oh. Really?
223
00:07:29,234 --> 00:07:30,834
Okay, this isn't funny, Dad.
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00:07:30,869 --> 00:07:32,335
I'm gonna be late for school.
225
00:07:32,371 --> 00:07:34,404
Well, when you live in New York...
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00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,173
your car is your feet.
227
00:07:36,208 --> 00:07:37,307
Better get to stepping.
228
00:07:37,342 --> 00:07:39,076
[Sighs] Oh, my God.
229
00:07:39,111 --> 00:07:39,843
Dad!
230
00:07:39,878 --> 00:07:40,911
- Oh!
- What?
231
00:07:40,946 --> 00:07:42,045
See, now you know what it feels like
232
00:07:42,081 --> 00:07:43,914
to walk in the snow
and slush in New York.
233
00:07:43,949 --> 00:07:45,682
Oh! Can't forget about this.
234
00:07:46,752 --> 00:07:49,319
[New York accent] Hey! I'm walking here!
235
00:07:49,354 --> 00:07:50,520
We got the best pizza.
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00:07:50,556 --> 00:07:52,289
Ah, fuhgeddaboudit.
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00:07:52,324 --> 00:07:54,357
[New York accent] Ay! Lena Dunham's
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00:07:54,393 --> 00:07:55,859
doing performance art
239
00:07:55,894 --> 00:07:58,829
down at the Brooklyn Academy of Music.
240
00:07:58,864 --> 00:08:01,198
Ba-da-bing!
241
00:08:01,233 --> 00:08:02,732
[Laughs]
242
00:08:04,470 --> 00:08:07,637
Why can't you be
the one going to college?
243
00:08:07,673 --> 00:08:09,506
244
00:08:09,541 --> 00:08:11,975
So I was feeling pretty confident
245
00:08:12,010 --> 00:08:14,578
that my anti-New York
message was sinking in.
246
00:08:14,613 --> 00:08:15,412
- Dre?
- [Computer plays indistinctly]
247
00:08:15,447 --> 00:08:16,446
Hey, babe. Hey.
248
00:08:16,482 --> 00:08:17,848
Where's Zoey?
249
00:08:17,883 --> 00:08:19,983
I want to show her this video
of the Puerto Rican Day parade.
250
00:08:20,018 --> 00:08:22,219
Uh, speaking of New York, Dre...
251
00:08:22,254 --> 00:08:24,455
for some reason,
252
00:08:24,565 --> 00:08:27,533
- winters are really starting to worry Zoey.
- [Computer sound mutes]
253
00:08:27,568 --> 00:08:29,702
Oh. Is that right?
254
00:08:29,737 --> 00:08:32,338
Ta-da!
255
00:08:32,373 --> 00:08:34,807
Mom bought me winter clothes.
256
00:08:34,842 --> 00:08:36,976
Perfect for the snow and the slush.
257
00:08:37,011 --> 00:08:38,678
Yeah, who knew that layers
258
00:08:38,713 --> 00:08:40,279
would look so good on her?
259
00:08:40,314 --> 00:08:41,814
I mean, I kind of had a hunch.
260
00:08:41,849 --> 00:08:42,782
Well...
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00:08:42,817 --> 00:08:44,717
[Both chuckle]
262
00:08:48,497 --> 00:08:51,839
With Zoey now clearly
leaning towards New York,
263
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:53,960
there was only one thing left to do.
264
00:08:53,996 --> 00:08:56,763
It was time for the nuclear option.
265
00:08:56,798 --> 00:08:59,766
Dre. Are you doing what
I think you're doing?
266
00:08:59,801 --> 00:09:01,368
You're damn right I am.
267
00:09:01,403 --> 00:09:03,603
[Sighing] Oh, God.
What's wrong with you?
268
00:09:03,638 --> 00:09:06,639
Why are you always making slide shows?
269
00:09:06,675 --> 00:09:08,675
- How dare you.
- Huh?
270
00:09:09,335 --> 00:09:10,701
All right, this is different from when
271
00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:12,250
they closed "World on Wheels"
272
00:09:12,308 --> 00:09:14,375
or when the Clippers
got rid of Chris Kaman.
273
00:09:14,619 --> 00:09:16,152
All right, this slide show
274
00:09:16,187 --> 00:09:18,087
will keep my baby girl from going away.
275
00:09:18,123 --> 00:09:21,691
Dre, a slide show did not
work on Donald Sterling,
276
00:09:21,726 --> 00:09:24,560
and it is not gonna work on Zoey.
277
00:09:24,596 --> 00:09:26,029
Okay, what's the problem
with me doing this, huh?
278
00:09:26,064 --> 00:09:27,230
Hmm? Hmm?
279
00:09:27,265 --> 00:09:29,332
I'm not saying, "Don't
go to college, Zoey."
280
00:09:29,367 --> 00:09:31,134
I'm just saying, "Don't
go to college far away."
281
00:09:31,169 --> 00:09:34,070
Dre, Zoey is growing up and maturing.
282
00:09:34,105 --> 00:09:36,497
All of our kids are. And you know what?
283
00:09:36,614 --> 00:09:38,348
I can't deal with you having a meltdown
284
00:09:38,434 --> 00:09:40,143
every time one of our kids
285
00:09:40,178 --> 00:09:42,245
shows signs of being an adult.
286
00:09:43,248 --> 00:09:44,414
[Gasps]
287
00:09:47,953 --> 00:09:49,786
Oh.
288
00:09:49,821 --> 00:09:50,887
289
00:09:51,390 --> 00:09:52,556
What's wrong?
290
00:09:53,425 --> 00:09:55,091
F-F-Forgot...
291
00:09:55,126 --> 00:09:57,460
Forgot to put on... deodorant.
292
00:09:57,495 --> 00:09:58,695
I was gonna say something,
293
00:09:58,730 --> 00:10:02,198
but I was like, "Hm, she
should be able to smell that."
294
00:10:02,233 --> 00:10:04,267
LeBron James...
295
00:10:04,302 --> 00:10:07,371
could have gone anywhere he wanted,
296
00:10:07,535 --> 00:10:11,070
but he chose to take his
talents to South Beach.
297
00:10:11,105 --> 00:10:12,104
What does that say?
298
00:10:12,139 --> 00:10:13,806
It says that he was ring chasing.
299
00:10:13,841 --> 00:10:16,608
The guy just wanted to
play with his friends!
300
00:10:18,913 --> 00:10:22,147
The King chose Miami
because it's the best.
301
00:10:22,183 --> 00:10:23,715
It's hot.
302
00:10:23,751 --> 00:10:24,883
It's sexy.
303
00:10:24,919 --> 00:10:26,385
It's all the way live.
304
00:10:26,420 --> 00:10:28,554
Wait, are you guys lobbying
305
00:10:28,589 --> 00:10:30,322
for me to go to the University of Miami?
306
00:10:30,357 --> 00:10:32,458
Hey, that's his thing, not mine.
307
00:10:32,493 --> 00:10:35,861
The only good thing to come
out of Miami is an empty bus.
308
00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:37,129
Are you kidding?!
309
00:10:37,164 --> 00:10:39,431
Where else can you go to
the beach during the day,
310
00:10:39,467 --> 00:10:42,701
party all night, and then
ride an alligator to school?
311
00:10:45,372 --> 00:10:47,673
Seriously. I'm asking.
312
00:10:47,708 --> 00:10:50,542
313
00:10:50,578 --> 00:10:52,711
[Sighing] Oh, God.
314
00:10:55,217 --> 00:10:56,216
Bow, you all right?
315
00:10:56,252 --> 00:10:58,619
[Groans]
316
00:10:58,654 --> 00:11:00,054
Pops.
317
00:11:00,089 --> 00:11:02,356
I just saw Junior...
318
00:11:02,391 --> 00:11:04,158
kissing...
319
00:11:04,553 --> 00:11:05,719
Megan.
320
00:11:06,429 --> 00:11:07,828
Oh, that... that little white girl?
321
00:11:07,863 --> 00:11:08,862
Yes.
322
00:11:08,898 --> 00:11:10,331
[Chuckles] I marched
so he could do that.
323
00:11:10,366 --> 00:11:11,398
You should have seen them.
324
00:11:11,434 --> 00:11:13,200
It was like they were two...
325
00:11:13,235 --> 00:11:16,604
blind, clumsy animals just...
326
00:11:16,639 --> 00:11:18,172
eating each others' faces.
327
00:11:18,199 --> 00:11:20,654
- [Shudders]
- That's quite the visual.
328
00:11:20,741 --> 00:11:21,398
When did this happen?
329
00:11:21,407 --> 00:11:23,107
When did this happen?!
330
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:24,732
I mean, it was just yesterday
331
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:27,368
that Dre was giving him the sex talk.
332
00:11:27,403 --> 00:11:28,436
What's that?
333
00:11:28,471 --> 00:11:30,137
Just a comfortable man with no shirt on
334
00:11:30,173 --> 00:11:32,039
talking to his son about nasty stuff.
335
00:11:32,075 --> 00:11:33,207
[Laughs]
336
00:11:34,477 --> 00:11:36,644
Whew! Really feeling the A.C. in here.
337
00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:38,112
Am I standing under a vent?
338
00:11:38,147 --> 00:11:39,680
So your boy's growing up.
339
00:11:39,821 --> 00:11:40,715
Mm-hmm.
340
00:11:40,750 --> 00:11:42,517
Well, you ought to be
celebrating the fact
341
00:11:42,552 --> 00:11:43,751
that he's getting a little action.
342
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:45,052
[Groans]
343
00:11:45,088 --> 00:11:46,954
Didn't always look like it
was gonna go that way for him.
344
00:11:48,491 --> 00:11:50,458
Oh, no! My Hobbit Shire!
345
00:11:50,493 --> 00:11:52,593
Field hockey?!
346
00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:54,128
Man, isn't that a woman's sport?
347
00:11:54,163 --> 00:11:57,098
Nope. Um, a lot of
people think that, though.
348
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,333
Dad! I finally got
the coffee order right!
349
00:11:59,369 --> 00:12:00,968
No!
350
00:12:02,338 --> 00:12:04,872
- My precious little baby boy.
- Mm-hmm.
351
00:12:04,908 --> 00:12:06,140
I don't know if I can handle
352
00:12:06,175 --> 00:12:07,909
my kids growing up.
353
00:12:08,917 --> 00:12:10,416
I feel like I'm losing them.
354
00:12:10,452 --> 00:12:12,151
No, you never lose them.
355
00:12:12,187 --> 00:12:14,487
Trust me on that, 'cause I done tried.
356
00:12:14,523 --> 00:12:15,922
Aww, stop. [Laughs]
357
00:12:15,957 --> 00:12:17,824
The good news is, you
still got two babies left.
358
00:12:19,194 --> 00:12:20,193
The twins. Mm-hmm.
359
00:12:20,228 --> 00:12:21,394
That's right. Ah.
360
00:12:21,429 --> 00:12:23,196
- Thank you, Pops.
- That's what I'm here for...
361
00:12:23,231 --> 00:12:24,931
to remind of the children
you forgot you had.
362
00:12:24,966 --> 00:12:26,633
[Both laugh]
363
00:12:26,668 --> 00:12:28,334
Oh! Well, wait! Hold on!
364
00:12:28,370 --> 00:12:29,469
I got this one.
365
00:12:29,504 --> 00:12:31,170
And that's just crazy.
366
00:12:31,206 --> 00:12:32,872
[Sighs] I-I...
367
00:12:34,042 --> 00:12:35,275
Well, I mean...
368
00:12:35,310 --> 00:12:37,977
Charlie may have had bad
ideas about parenting,
369
00:12:38,013 --> 00:12:40,647
but he knew his way around a slide show.
370
00:12:40,682 --> 00:12:43,342
You should use that one
of Bow in the swimsuit.
371
00:12:43,498 --> 00:12:44,334
Uh...
372
00:12:44,420 --> 00:12:45,218
I don't think it's right for this.
373
00:12:45,253 --> 00:12:46,386
Mm.
374
00:12:47,147 --> 00:12:48,179
Can you send me that?
375
00:12:49,316 --> 00:12:50,382
That's my wife, man.
376
00:12:50,417 --> 00:12:51,716
I know!
377
00:12:52,753 --> 00:12:54,486
Does she ever ask about me?
378
00:12:54,521 --> 00:12:56,588
- Keep it real.
- No. Charlie.
379
00:12:56,623 --> 00:12:58,089
She doesn't.
380
00:13:00,093 --> 00:13:02,527
All right, now back to this music cue.
381
00:13:02,562 --> 00:13:03,795
I've got, uh...
382
00:13:03,830 --> 00:13:05,764
- "Wind Beneath My Wings... "
- Mm-hmm.
383
00:13:05,799 --> 00:13:07,532
- ... or "On The Wings Of Love...
- Mm-hmm.
384
00:13:07,567 --> 00:13:10,402
... or "Take These Broken Wings."
385
00:13:10,437 --> 00:13:12,504
My cousin Nick used to have wings.
386
00:13:12,539 --> 00:13:14,673
I used to hate when he
borrowed one of my shirts.
387
00:13:14,708 --> 00:13:15,674
[Scoffs]
388
00:13:15,709 --> 00:13:16,775
You know what? Uh...
389
00:13:16,810 --> 00:13:18,276
I think I'm just gonna do a medley.
390
00:13:18,312 --> 00:13:19,544
Medley?
391
00:13:19,579 --> 00:13:21,546
Medleys are for vegetables, Dre.
392
00:13:21,581 --> 00:13:24,653
There's only one song that
truly captures the love
393
00:13:24,734 --> 00:13:26,567
between father and child.
394
00:13:27,487 --> 00:13:29,120
You're right.
395
00:13:29,156 --> 00:13:31,289
If I could get another chance
396
00:13:31,325 --> 00:13:33,558
- Oh, hell, no.
- [Chuckles]
397
00:13:33,593 --> 00:13:35,894
- Oh, see, I know what happened.
-
Another walk
398
00:13:35,929 --> 00:13:37,295
What? I died on the table.
399
00:13:37,331 --> 00:13:38,530
Now I'm in hell. Come
on, come on, come on.
400
00:13:38,565 --> 00:13:39,564
Another dance with him
401
00:13:39,599 --> 00:13:40,932
Let's stretch it out. Stretch it out.
402
00:13:40,967 --> 00:13:42,300
See, you always trying to lead. Ugh.
403
00:13:42,336 --> 00:13:43,635
There you go. Come on. Turn around.
404
00:13:43,670 --> 00:13:44,669
Ohh.
405
00:13:44,705 --> 00:13:47,005
I was gonna say "Sexual Healing."
406
00:13:47,797 --> 00:13:49,263
"Sexual Healing?"
407
00:13:49,352 --> 00:13:51,523
This is my daughter, Charlie.
408
00:13:51,579 --> 00:13:52,878
What... What's wrong with you?!
409
00:13:52,913 --> 00:13:55,080
I don't know what you're going for.
410
00:13:56,851 --> 00:13:57,986
NYU is the move.
411
00:13:58,049 --> 00:13:59,949
Point blank and period.
412
00:13:59,984 --> 00:14:01,117
Wait a second...
413
00:14:01,152 --> 00:14:02,818
so Jack wants me to go to Miami
414
00:14:02,854 --> 00:14:04,420
but you want me to go to NYU?
415
00:14:04,455 --> 00:14:05,921
- Mm-hmm.
- Let me be clear.
416
00:14:05,957 --> 00:14:07,523
I just want you to go to the school
417
00:14:07,558 --> 00:14:09,825
where you have the best
chance academically.
418
00:14:09,861 --> 00:14:11,060
And I'll be honest,
419
00:14:11,095 --> 00:14:12,762
I don't know what that school is.
420
00:14:12,797 --> 00:14:14,730
There's a magic in New York,
421
00:14:14,766 --> 00:14:18,000
like walking out of your
building in a strappy Manolo.
422
00:14:18,035 --> 00:14:20,397
Oh! Hailing a cab,
423
00:14:20,624 --> 00:14:22,381
covering your hair from the rain
424
00:14:22,413 --> 00:14:23,850
with The Village Voice.
425
00:14:23,928 --> 00:14:25,854
That does sound magical.
426
00:14:25,925 --> 00:14:26,792
Mm-hmm.
427
00:14:27,011 --> 00:14:29,545
But none of my friends got in to NYU.
428
00:14:29,580 --> 00:14:31,547
Well, you'll make new friends,
429
00:14:31,582 --> 00:14:33,949
like Miranda and Charlotte.
430
00:14:33,985 --> 00:14:37,953
And when I visit you, we can
have brunch and go shoe shopping
431
00:14:37,989 --> 00:14:40,022
and swing by our friend's art gallery.
432
00:14:40,058 --> 00:14:40,956
[Sighs]
433
00:14:40,992 --> 00:14:42,091
Diane...
434
00:14:42,126 --> 00:14:44,160
have you been watching
"Sex and the City?"
435
00:14:44,195 --> 00:14:46,062
436
00:14:47,565 --> 00:14:50,032
[Sighs] And that's whenI couldn't help but wonder,
437
00:14:50,068 --> 00:14:53,469
would Zoey's education
lead to my higher learning?
438
00:14:56,674 --> 00:14:57,473
[Gasps]
439
00:14:57,508 --> 00:14:58,841
Ohh.
440
00:14:58,876 --> 00:15:01,510
My babies are in bed.
441
00:15:01,546 --> 00:15:03,646
Who's ready for our ritual?
442
00:15:03,681 --> 00:15:05,514
[Chuckles]
443
00:15:05,550 --> 00:15:08,217
[Nasally] Eskimo nuzzles!
444
00:15:08,252 --> 00:15:09,785
Butterfly kisses.
445
00:15:09,821 --> 00:15:11,854
Um, Mom, Mom. We're cool.
446
00:15:11,889 --> 00:15:13,289
Oh.
447
00:15:13,324 --> 00:15:14,790
Okay.
448
00:15:16,427 --> 00:15:17,727
[Sighs]
449
00:15:21,232 --> 00:15:25,868
Goodnight, Diane
450
00:15:25,903 --> 00:15:28,671
Goodnight, Jack
451
00:15:28,706 --> 00:15:32,274
Now that you've had your
452
00:15:32,310 --> 00:15:35,244
Bedtime snack
453
00:15:35,279 --> 00:15:37,480
-
The sandman is coming
- Mom.
454
00:15:37,515 --> 00:15:38,681
-
The sandman is coming, the san...
- Mom!
455
00:15:38,716 --> 00:15:40,416
Mom. We said we're cool.
456
00:15:42,546 --> 00:15:43,912
What... What's wrong?
457
00:15:44,223 --> 00:15:46,636
You mean aside from being pitchy?
458
00:15:47,011 --> 00:15:48,972
But you guys love the Goodnight Song.
459
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:52,303
At this point, the whole
bedtime ritual thing
460
00:15:52,339 --> 00:15:53,405
is more for you,
461
00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:55,640
and I think you're getting to the age
462
00:15:55,675 --> 00:15:57,475
where we can stop pretending.
463
00:15:58,512 --> 00:15:59,878
But...
464
00:15:59,913 --> 00:16:01,279
you're my babies.
465
00:16:01,314 --> 00:16:02,947
Obama's the first black president?
466
00:16:02,983 --> 00:16:03,848
[Groans]
467
00:16:03,884 --> 00:16:04,783
Sweetheart...
468
00:16:04,818 --> 00:16:05,950
do you want to sleep with me tonight?
469
00:16:05,986 --> 00:16:08,286
- Mm-hmm!
- Okay, come on. Time for bed.
470
00:16:08,321 --> 00:16:10,789
- No!
- Okay, okay. Okay. All right.
471
00:16:10,824 --> 00:16:11,790
[Sighs] Oh, gosh.
472
00:16:11,825 --> 00:16:14,392
Oh, my God! You are wearing a bow tie.
473
00:16:14,428 --> 00:16:15,827
I'm your little man.
474
00:16:15,862 --> 00:16:16,895
[Sniffling]
475
00:16:16,930 --> 00:16:17,896
Mom...
476
00:16:17,931 --> 00:16:19,798
get a hold of yourself.
477
00:16:19,833 --> 00:16:21,099
I'm so pregnant, so...
478
00:16:21,134 --> 00:16:24,002
In another room, preferably. Bye.
479
00:16:28,408 --> 00:16:29,908
Goodnight.
480
00:16:33,747 --> 00:16:36,748
Dre: Now, that is a much better picture.
481
00:16:36,783 --> 00:16:39,384
Dre, we've lost them.
482
00:16:39,419 --> 00:16:41,519
- What?
- We've lost them all.
483
00:16:41,555 --> 00:16:43,855
Oh, gosh.
484
00:16:43,890 --> 00:16:47,592
[Sighs] This slide show needs to be
485
00:16:47,627 --> 00:16:51,162
the greatest the world has ever seen.
486
00:16:52,332 --> 00:16:54,032
Oh, it will be, babe.
487
00:16:54,067 --> 00:16:55,099
Okay.
488
00:16:55,135 --> 00:16:57,202
- It will be.
- Okay.
489
00:16:57,237 --> 00:16:58,636
What... Hey, wait.
490
00:16:59,573 --> 00:17:01,372
Why is there a picture of me
491
00:17:01,408 --> 00:17:03,107
in a bathing suit still in there?
492
00:17:03,143 --> 00:17:04,976
- That was from my personal file.
- Mm-hmm.
493
00:17:05,011 --> 00:17:07,312
Yeah, it's for... another video.
494
00:17:09,089 --> 00:17:11,635
- [Slow-tempo music plays]
- You know, I'm not feeling this dissolve.
495
00:17:11,808 --> 00:17:12,640
I'm not gonna say it again, Dre.
496
00:17:12,675 --> 00:17:14,450
No more star wipes. Okay.
497
00:17:14,512 --> 00:17:16,989
What the hell is going on in here?
498
00:17:17,122 --> 00:17:18,588
Me and my lady friend have been hearing
499
00:17:18,623 --> 00:17:21,591
"Dance With My Father" on
repeat for the last two hours.
500
00:17:21,626 --> 00:17:22,825
- [Music stops]
- And I thought y'all
501
00:17:22,861 --> 00:17:24,327
would've murder-suicided
each other by now.
502
00:17:24,362 --> 00:17:25,595
Dre and I are making
503
00:17:25,630 --> 00:17:27,964
- a slide show for Zoey, Pops.
- Mm-hmm.
504
00:17:27,999 --> 00:17:30,433
Slide show? Yeah, well,
not just any slide show.
505
00:17:30,468 --> 00:17:32,068
The ultimate slide show.
506
00:17:32,103 --> 00:17:34,403
The slide show to end all slide shows.
507
00:17:34,439 --> 00:17:36,105
Bow, I expect this from him,
508
00:17:36,141 --> 00:17:37,607
but not you. You're better that this.
509
00:17:37,642 --> 00:17:40,042
Not today, Pops! Okay?
510
00:17:40,078 --> 00:17:43,224
Because our kids are
growing up way too fast,
511
00:17:43,294 --> 00:17:45,228
- and it has to stop!
- Okay! Okay.
512
00:17:45,263 --> 00:17:46,629
So your daughter's going off to college,
513
00:17:46,665 --> 00:17:47,864
and you're freaking out for a moment.
514
00:17:47,899 --> 00:17:49,465
That's allowed. That's fine.
515
00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:51,300
But isn't this what you wanted?
516
00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:54,604
Isn't this why you both worked so hard,
517
00:17:54,639 --> 00:17:56,506
moved in to this white-ass neighborhood,
518
00:17:56,541 --> 00:17:58,241
sent her to that white-ass school
519
00:17:58,276 --> 00:18:01,077
so she could have all these
white-ass opportunities?
520
00:18:03,548 --> 00:18:06,616
Let her go.
521
00:18:08,787 --> 00:18:10,687
And, son, if you play
that song one more time,
522
00:18:10,722 --> 00:18:13,156
not only will you never dance again,
523
00:18:13,191 --> 00:18:15,425
you'll never walk again, either.
524
00:18:16,861 --> 00:18:19,362
[Sighs] What are we doing, Dre?
525
00:18:19,397 --> 00:18:20,985
What are we doing?
526
00:18:20,991 --> 00:18:22,398
We're letting go. [Sighs]
527
00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:23,766
528
00:18:23,802 --> 00:18:26,769
- It just all happened so fast.
- So fast!
529
00:18:26,805 --> 00:18:29,988
Didn't we just bring Zoey
home from the hospital?
530
00:18:30,082 --> 00:18:32,842
Yeah. Oh, my God. She was so teeny.
531
00:18:32,877 --> 00:18:35,072
[Gasps] Oh, oh, oh.
532
00:18:35,191 --> 00:18:36,190
Do you remember that hat?
533
00:18:36,226 --> 00:18:38,159
Yeah. She was always pulling it off.
534
00:18:38,194 --> 00:18:40,662
[Laughs] She didn't like
your taste even then.
535
00:18:40,697 --> 00:18:43,598
- [Both laughing]
- Oh, God.
536
00:18:43,633 --> 00:18:45,633
Ah, we have to let go, don't we?
537
00:18:45,669 --> 00:18:46,534
Mm.
538
00:18:48,004 --> 00:18:49,137
Well...
539
00:18:49,172 --> 00:18:51,639
we have 18 more years with this one.
540
00:18:51,675 --> 00:18:53,508
Let's take a million pictures of him.
541
00:18:53,543 --> 00:18:55,165
- Mm.
- And promise that
542
00:18:55,222 --> 00:18:56,441
we will give him all of our time.
543
00:18:56,446 --> 00:18:57,445
Mm-hmm.
544
00:18:59,402 --> 00:19:01,335
What happens when he goes to college?
545
00:19:02,919 --> 00:19:05,019
Did you see the movie "Room?"
546
00:19:05,055 --> 00:19:06,721
Ohh.
547
00:19:07,357 --> 00:19:08,823
Mm-hmm.
548
00:19:08,858 --> 00:19:10,425
549
00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:13,041
So, I know everybody's been wondering
550
00:19:13,076 --> 00:19:15,009
where Zoey is gonna go to school.
551
00:19:15,045 --> 00:19:17,111
So here it is.
552
00:19:17,147 --> 00:19:19,581
I think I'm leaning towards...
553
00:19:19,616 --> 00:19:20,448
NYU!
554
00:19:20,484 --> 00:19:21,716
Yes!
555
00:19:21,751 --> 00:19:23,818
Solid academic choice.
556
00:19:23,854 --> 00:19:25,487
You will probably struggle.
557
00:19:25,522 --> 00:19:26,488
Oh, thanks for that.
558
00:19:26,523 --> 00:19:28,857
I can live with New York.
559
00:19:28,892 --> 00:19:31,125
I've always wanted to
pee in Central Park.
560
00:19:31,161 --> 00:19:32,060
[Laughs]
561
00:19:32,122 --> 00:19:34,529
- I'm gonna come visit every other weekend.
- Me, too.
562
00:19:34,564 --> 00:19:37,866
Um, New York is far, guys.
563
00:19:37,901 --> 00:19:41,035
I probably won't even
come home until Christmas.
564
00:19:41,071 --> 00:19:44,105
When you move back
home after failing out.
565
00:19:44,554 --> 00:19:45,887
Christmas?
566
00:19:46,743 --> 00:19:48,877
So, you're gonna miss Thanksgiving?
567
00:19:48,912 --> 00:19:50,512
- Yes.
- And what about Halloween?
568
00:19:50,547 --> 00:19:52,981
What are we gonna do
for our family costume?
569
00:19:53,016 --> 00:19:54,816
And if you're not coming home,
570
00:19:54,851 --> 00:19:57,318
who's gonna do my hair for picture day?
571
00:19:57,354 --> 00:19:59,220
We cannot put that in Mom's hands.
572
00:19:59,256 --> 00:20:02,290
Guys, it's not like
I'm gonna forget you.
573
00:20:02,325 --> 00:20:04,759
I love being your big sister.
574
00:20:04,794 --> 00:20:06,027
We love that, too.
575
00:20:06,062 --> 00:20:09,430
[Chuckles] And... in a way,
576
00:20:09,466 --> 00:20:10,665
I guess it's good
577
00:20:10,700 --> 00:20:12,800
that we're all gonna miss each other.
578
00:20:12,836 --> 00:20:15,403
Except the baby.
579
00:20:15,438 --> 00:20:17,038
He won't even know you.
580
00:20:19,809 --> 00:20:21,242
[Sighs]
581
00:20:21,278 --> 00:20:25,313
582
00:20:25,348 --> 00:20:26,548
Hey, sweetie. Hey, babe.
583
00:20:26,583 --> 00:20:29,150
Hey. I need to return this.
584
00:20:29,185 --> 00:20:31,791
- Okay?
- Wrong size?
585
00:20:32,188 --> 00:20:33,354
[Sighs]
586
00:20:33,624 --> 00:20:35,223
Wrong state.
587
00:20:36,693 --> 00:20:38,493
Oh.
588
00:20:38,528 --> 00:20:39,561
Night, guys.
589
00:20:39,596 --> 00:20:41,876
- Mm.
- Night.
590
00:20:41,946 --> 00:20:43,646
591
00:20:48,016 --> 00:20:53,407
If I could get another chance
592
00:20:53,446 --> 00:21:00,472
Another walk, another dance with him
593
00:21:00,502 --> 00:21:04,799
I'd play a song that
would never, ever end
594
00:21:04,933 --> 00:21:07,683
[Sniffles] I hate that I love this.
595
00:21:07,784 --> 00:21:11,921
- [Sobs]
-
To dance with my father again
596
00:21:11,994 --> 00:21:13,272
[Sniffles and sighs]
597
00:21:13,382 --> 00:21:17,449
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598
00:21:17,499 --> 00:21:22,049
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