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1
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Dre: At home, I'm just a regular guy.
2
00:00:05,115 --> 00:00:08,089
And this brother
stopped me and asked me
3
00:00:08,099 --> 00:00:10,657
I drink my coffee,
tousle a child's hair,
4
00:00:10,667 --> 00:00:12,367
kiss my beautiful wife goodbye,
5
00:00:12,402 --> 00:00:15,945
and then I'm off to my
job in the big city.
6
00:00:16,404 --> 00:00:18,340
But around here...
7
00:00:18,374 --> 00:00:20,676
I'm like that doll Chuckie, baby
8
00:00:20,710 --> 00:00:22,511
Keep comin' back to live
love life like I'm crazy
9
00:00:22,545 --> 00:00:23,712
I'm a superhero.
10
00:00:23,746 --> 00:00:25,647
Keep it movin', risin' to the top
11
00:00:25,682 --> 00:00:29,184
And so what if I can't
catch bullets, fly,
12
00:00:29,218 --> 00:00:31,019
or do an unassisted pull-up?
13
00:00:31,054 --> 00:00:32,387
[Grunts]
14
00:00:32,422 --> 00:00:35,057
I'm working on that. It's very hard.
15
00:00:35,091 --> 00:00:36,191
Okay.
16
00:00:36,225 --> 00:00:39,494
The important thing is,
I can do something better.
17
00:00:39,529 --> 00:00:41,897
I really know black people,
18
00:00:41,931 --> 00:00:43,732
and I know what they want.
19
00:00:43,766 --> 00:00:46,301
And that's a real superpower.
20
00:00:46,336 --> 00:00:51,239
Black consumers will spend
around $1.2 trillion this year.
21
00:00:51,274 --> 00:00:53,875
If we were a country,
that spending power
22
00:00:53,910 --> 00:00:58,146
would make us the 15th
largest GDP in the world.
23
00:00:58,181 --> 00:01:02,184
Right after Spain and just
before Mexico is Blackonia...
24
00:01:02,218 --> 00:01:05,153
A glorious nation with no credit checks,
25
00:01:05,188 --> 00:01:07,756
the colors of the flag
are gold and platinum,
26
00:01:07,790 --> 00:01:11,426
and the national anthem
is "Girlfriend" by Pebbles.
27
00:01:11,461 --> 00:01:13,695
Girlfriend
28
00:01:13,730 --> 00:01:15,430
White people trust me to tell them
29
00:01:15,465 --> 00:01:18,200
about black people and what they want.
30
00:01:18,234 --> 00:01:20,736
And that's why there's
a huge opportunity
31
00:01:20,770 --> 00:01:23,171
for your beverages in the urban market.
32
00:01:23,206 --> 00:01:26,608
And I've lined up just
the talent to help us.
33
00:01:26,643 --> 00:01:28,944
Rich Youngsta!
34
00:01:28,978 --> 00:01:31,780
Yo, what's up, white people?
I'm gonna need a big-ass check.
35
00:01:31,814 --> 00:01:33,615
36
00:01:33,650 --> 00:01:34,950
I'm afraid I don't know who you are.
37
00:01:34,984 --> 00:01:37,285
I'm so glad someone else said it first.
38
00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:39,888
Oh, my God! [Bleep] [Bleep] [Bleep]
39
00:01:39,922 --> 00:01:42,190
Rich Youngsta! [Laughs]
40
00:01:42,225 --> 00:01:45,927
- One for the 'gram?
- Oh, okay, everybody. He's legit.
41
00:01:45,962 --> 00:01:47,596
Charlie's Instagram only features people
42
00:01:47,630 --> 00:01:49,398
that have been on the cover of Essence
43
00:01:49,432 --> 00:01:51,066
[whispers] the magazine.
44
00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:54,569
Rich Youngsta is a famous rapper.
45
00:01:54,604 --> 00:01:56,605
Well, in that case, outstanding!
46
00:01:56,639 --> 00:01:58,573
Welcome to the team, Mr. Youngsta.
47
00:01:58,608 --> 00:02:01,410
Okay. And hugging. Nice. [Laughs]
48
00:02:01,444 --> 00:02:03,345
Go lock my office. Copy that.
49
00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:08,451
Synced and corrected by johnyd13
~ www.addic7ed.com ~
50
00:02:09,485 --> 00:02:11,286
Hey, guys, it's almost dinnertime.
51
00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:12,254
How does pasta sound?
52
00:02:12,288 --> 00:02:15,257
Depends. What shape
noodles are we talking?
53
00:02:15,291 --> 00:02:16,058
Penne.
54
00:02:16,092 --> 00:02:17,826
- You know I'm off tubes.
- Oh, right.
55
00:02:17,860 --> 00:02:18,960
- I want grilled cheese.
- Okay.
56
00:02:18,995 --> 00:02:22,230
I'm gluten-free and not doing
dairy every other Monday.
57
00:02:22,265 --> 00:02:23,231
And here we go.
58
00:02:23,266 --> 00:02:24,266
Can my pasta be a hamburger?
59
00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:27,269
I'll have a hamburger
with cheese, but no meat.
60
00:02:27,303 --> 00:02:30,338
And can the bun be regular bread
grilled in a pan with butter?
61
00:02:30,373 --> 00:02:31,640
That's a grilled cheese, dude.
62
00:02:31,674 --> 00:02:33,341
I thought I was being subtle.
63
00:02:33,376 --> 00:02:34,910
It's fine. Let's just order in.
64
00:02:34,944 --> 00:02:37,079
Maybe order in a backbone.
65
00:02:37,113 --> 00:02:39,848
It's one dinner, Bow, for everyone.
66
00:02:39,882 --> 00:02:41,983
- That's how it's done.
- Not here.
67
00:02:42,018 --> 00:02:43,618
Ooh. Does Chinese sound good?
68
00:02:43,653 --> 00:02:45,020
Junior: You guys do whatever you want.
69
00:02:45,054 --> 00:02:46,621
I'm just gonna get my
own thing from Umami.
70
00:02:46,656 --> 00:02:48,023
Ooh, I want Urth Caf?.
71
00:02:48,057 --> 00:02:49,124
They don't deliver.
72
00:02:49,158 --> 00:02:50,859
- I'll just do Postmates.
- Ooh.
73
00:02:50,893 --> 00:02:52,661
Have them do a second stop at Sugarfish.
74
00:02:52,695 --> 00:02:55,530
Sushi, hamburgers, Chinese.
75
00:02:55,565 --> 00:02:57,999
Which place delivers good parenting?
76
00:02:59,068 --> 00:03:00,736
[Whispers] Failure.
77
00:03:03,339 --> 00:03:04,940
You know, it's not
every day that a client
78
00:03:04,974 --> 00:03:07,142
wants to put this much
money into a campaign.
79
00:03:07,176 --> 00:03:08,944
How much money are they talking?
80
00:03:08,978 --> 00:03:10,779
Enough for me to pack
up and leave my family?
81
00:03:10,813 --> 00:03:11,646
I'll do it.
82
00:03:11,681 --> 00:03:13,381
Charlie, you don't have to do that.
83
00:03:13,416 --> 00:03:15,050
No, no, I'm gonna do it.
84
00:03:15,084 --> 00:03:16,952
Just tell me how much money it is later.
85
00:03:16,986 --> 00:03:21,456
You know, all we have to do now
is introduce Uvo to the world.
86
00:03:21,491 --> 00:03:24,826
It's not just for New Year's or mimosas.
87
00:03:24,861 --> 00:03:26,862
Drink it anytime.
88
00:03:26,896 --> 00:03:29,164
I put it on my bagels and my oatmeal.
89
00:03:29,198 --> 00:03:31,199
What? It makes everything better.
90
00:03:31,234 --> 00:03:33,835
Everything? What about my divorce?
91
00:03:33,870 --> 00:03:35,537
Just put some Uvo on it.
92
00:03:35,571 --> 00:03:37,139
Hmm.
93
00:03:37,173 --> 00:03:38,206
What about those gym shoes?
94
00:03:38,241 --> 00:03:40,075
Put a gang of Uvo on them.
95
00:03:40,109 --> 00:03:41,543
Unh-unh. Drown them in Uvo.
96
00:03:41,577 --> 00:03:43,445
[Laughter] These are orthopedic.
97
00:03:44,447 --> 00:03:45,514
[Laughter]
98
00:03:45,548 --> 00:03:48,150
Ooh, w-what about driving a hooptie?
99
00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:49,217
Put some Uvo on it.
100
00:03:49,252 --> 00:03:51,052
Your girl's hair won't grow?
101
00:03:51,087 --> 00:03:53,388
All: Put some Uvo on it!
102
00:03:53,422 --> 00:03:56,358
Mm! Hey, fellas, I think we
onto something right now.
103
00:03:56,392 --> 00:03:59,528
We just put some Uvo
on the Uvo campaign.
104
00:03:59,562 --> 00:04:02,330
My check is gonna be so huge.
105
00:04:02,365 --> 00:04:03,565
And this is good because?
106
00:04:03,599 --> 00:04:05,333
- Because why?
- 'Cause I love that money.
107
00:04:05,368 --> 00:04:06,768
- [Laughs]
- Ah.
108
00:04:06,803 --> 00:04:09,404
So Rich Youngsta and I
cut together a demo.
109
00:04:09,438 --> 00:04:11,740
It was met with mixed reactions.
110
00:04:11,774 --> 00:04:15,510
Some people loved it,
and some people really loved it.
111
00:04:15,545 --> 00:04:17,746
Both: Dre! Dre! Dre! Dre!
112
00:04:17,780 --> 00:04:19,614
That is outstanding!
113
00:04:19,649 --> 00:04:21,616
- Wow!
- I pulled a muscle pumping my fist.
114
00:04:21,651 --> 00:04:23,285
And you know Charlie helped, too!
115
00:04:23,319 --> 00:04:24,753
Charlie!
116
00:04:24,787 --> 00:04:26,454
Charlie.
117
00:04:26,489 --> 00:04:28,423
Based on these guys' reactions,
118
00:04:28,457 --> 00:04:31,059
I could tell this might be huge.
119
00:04:31,093 --> 00:04:34,896
"Put some Uvo on it" was going
to be my "Snap, Crackle, Pop."
120
00:04:34,931 --> 00:04:36,798
I couldn't wait to show the family.
121
00:04:36,833 --> 00:04:38,533
All right, family. Good news.
122
00:04:38,568 --> 00:04:40,235
We gonna be rich!
123
00:04:40,269 --> 00:04:41,403
All: Whoo!
124
00:04:41,437 --> 00:04:44,072
Bad news, y'all ain't gonna
be able to live up to this.
125
00:04:44,106 --> 00:04:47,042
Because my shoes are just
way too big to fill.
126
00:04:47,076 --> 00:04:48,877
What if I wrap my feet in newspapers?
127
00:04:50,012 --> 00:04:51,479
Aw, buddy.
128
00:04:51,514 --> 00:04:54,616
All right, guys,
feast your eyes on this.
129
00:04:54,650 --> 00:04:55,684
Rainbow: All right.
130
00:04:55,718 --> 00:04:58,253
Yo, Rich Youngsta,
I'm not feeling these pancakes.
131
00:04:58,287 --> 00:04:59,487
[Cork pops]
132
00:04:59,522 --> 00:05:00,889
Put some Uvo on it.
133
00:05:02,491 --> 00:05:03,558
Word!
134
00:05:03,593 --> 00:05:05,927
It makes everything better
135
00:05:05,962 --> 00:05:06,928
136
00:05:06,963 --> 00:05:08,496
New Uvo!
137
00:05:08,531 --> 00:05:10,198
Yeah, yeah, yeah
138
00:05:10,967 --> 00:05:12,400
You know
139
00:05:12,435 --> 00:05:15,403
Put some Uvo on it
140
00:05:15,438 --> 00:05:16,338
Ahhhh
141
00:05:16,372 --> 00:05:18,240
Put some Uvo on it
142
00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:19,774
Ahhhh
143
00:05:19,809 --> 00:05:21,676
Put some Uvo on it
144
00:05:21,711 --> 00:05:22,777
Ahhhhh
145
00:05:22,812 --> 00:05:24,279
Put some Uvo on it
146
00:05:24,313 --> 00:05:26,147
Drink it straight with no chaser
147
00:05:26,182 --> 00:05:27,782
Liquor got the party lit
148
00:05:27,817 --> 00:05:29,284
She got the way that
it's makin' her feel
149
00:05:29,318 --> 00:05:30,652
You wanna get faded,
girl, come over here
150
00:05:30,686 --> 00:05:33,521
Put some Uvo on it
151
00:05:33,556 --> 00:05:34,356
Put some Uvo on it
152
00:05:34,390 --> 00:05:36,758
Ahhhh
153
00:05:36,792 --> 00:05:39,160
Put some Uvo on it
154
00:05:39,195 --> 00:05:41,363
Just that Uvo, Uvo
155
00:05:41,397 --> 00:05:43,965
Put some Uvo on it
156
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:44,933
- [Applause]
- Mm!
157
00:05:44,967 --> 00:05:45,934
So what'd y'all think, huh?
158
00:05:45,968 --> 00:05:46,868
- Yay.
- Huh?
159
00:05:46,903 --> 00:05:47,869
- Dad?
- Yeah?
160
00:05:47,904 --> 00:05:48,970
That was so awesome!
161
00:05:49,005 --> 00:05:50,272
Okay, give it up top, son.
162
00:05:50,306 --> 00:05:51,506
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
163
00:05:51,540 --> 00:05:53,875
Yeah, I think I felt feelings.
164
00:05:53,910 --> 00:05:56,945
I'm actually not embarrassed by you.
165
00:06:00,049 --> 00:06:02,217
I'm withholding praise.
166
00:06:02,251 --> 00:06:03,952
Hurts, doesn't it?
167
00:06:05,554 --> 00:06:06,254
Actually, it does.
168
00:06:06,289 --> 00:06:09,491
Oh, my God. I-I'm so sorry, Dad.
169
00:06:09,525 --> 00:06:11,159
You should be. I-I don't
know why I did that.
170
00:06:11,193 --> 00:06:13,061
I-I love the commercial, and I love you.
171
00:06:13,095 --> 00:06:15,497
We should have lunch together,
just us, on me.
172
00:06:15,531 --> 00:06:16,965
Yeah. Thank you. Okay, Bow?
173
00:06:16,999 --> 00:06:18,667
Yeah? Mama? Can I get my praise?
174
00:06:18,701 --> 00:06:22,304
Um, magnificent. Really something.
175
00:06:22,338 --> 00:06:24,873
Yeah, you know what?
Kids, could you excuse us
176
00:06:24,907 --> 00:06:27,242
so we can tell your father how
proud we are of him in private?
177
00:06:27,276 --> 00:06:28,510
Yeah. Uh-huh.
178
00:06:28,544 --> 00:06:31,546
Yeah, and I don't want you guys
to hear all the compliments.
179
00:06:31,580 --> 00:06:32,714
[Both laugh]
180
00:06:32,748 --> 00:06:34,049
Yeah.
181
00:06:34,083 --> 00:06:35,050
What? What? What?
182
00:06:35,084 --> 00:06:37,819
Dre, he was dancing around,
183
00:06:37,853 --> 00:06:39,654
giving out chains and sneakers,
184
00:06:39,689 --> 00:06:43,591
and then he poured
champagne on a black woman
185
00:06:43,626 --> 00:06:44,659
and turned her white!
186
00:06:44,694 --> 00:06:49,064
Uh, the intonation of your
compliment sounds weird.
187
00:06:49,098 --> 00:06:53,201
Ooh, you got us looking like
a bunch of ignorant [bleep]
188
00:06:53,235 --> 00:06:55,337
Also weird-sounding praise.
189
00:06:55,371 --> 00:06:57,739
Dre, seriously, you don't
see a problem with that?
190
00:06:57,773 --> 00:07:01,543
With what everyone who's seen enjoys?
191
00:07:01,577 --> 00:07:03,745
No, I don't see a problem with that.
192
00:07:03,779 --> 00:07:06,548
Well, that's the problem.
Let me help you out.
193
00:07:06,582 --> 00:07:09,117
[Janine laughs]
194
00:07:09,151 --> 00:07:11,786
195
00:07:11,821 --> 00:07:13,755
This is hilarious!
196
00:07:13,789 --> 00:07:16,257
I mean, I thought Tyler Perry was funny!
197
00:07:16,292 --> 00:07:18,460
Don't get me wrong,
this is better than Madea,
198
00:07:18,494 --> 00:07:20,528
but still similar to Madea.
199
00:07:20,563 --> 00:07:22,263
Like, you could say both of
them in the same breath.
200
00:07:22,298 --> 00:07:23,765
It's like, "Oh, have you seen
201
00:07:23,799 --> 00:07:25,133
the new 'Put Some Uvo On It' ad?"
202
00:07:25,167 --> 00:07:28,536
"Yeah, I did. It's funny in the
exact same way that Madea is funny."
203
00:07:28,571 --> 00:07:30,038
[Laughs]
204
00:07:30,072 --> 00:07:31,873
Put some Uvo on it
205
00:07:31,907 --> 00:07:33,475
Put some Uvo on it
206
00:07:33,509 --> 00:07:35,477
- Still cool?
-
Put some Uvo on it
207
00:07:35,511 --> 00:07:36,544
-
Put some Uvo on it
- Mm-hmm.
208
00:07:36,579 --> 00:07:38,146
Ooh, put some Uvo on it
209
00:07:38,180 --> 00:07:40,415
Ooh, put some Uvo on it
210
00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:44,458
So, Dre, how did that feel,
211
00:07:44,468 --> 00:07:46,620
having Janine laugh at your commercial?
212
00:07:46,630 --> 00:07:49,899
The same woman whose "Welcome
to the neighborhood" basket
213
00:07:49,933 --> 00:07:53,936
was a mixed dark-meat
bucket from Popeye's.
214
00:07:53,970 --> 00:07:55,171
Mm-hmm.
215
00:07:55,205 --> 00:07:56,639
- Pretty good.
- Really, Dre?
216
00:07:56,673 --> 00:07:58,774
Because it felt really uncomfortable
217
00:07:58,809 --> 00:08:01,110
for me to watch her laugh at that.
218
00:08:01,144 --> 00:08:02,945
Never thought I'd see this day.
219
00:08:02,979 --> 00:08:06,148
My son's a Stepin Fetchit!
220
00:08:06,183 --> 00:08:06,916
What?!
221
00:08:06,950 --> 00:08:08,651
- Mm-hmm.
- How am I Stepin Fetchit?
222
00:08:08,685 --> 00:08:11,620
He sold out his whole race
just to be in the damn movies,
223
00:08:11,655 --> 00:08:15,424
with all that mumbling and
shuffling and carrying on.
224
00:08:15,459 --> 00:08:17,593
Yeah, you know what, Dre?
You a like a Stepin Fetchit...
225
00:08:17,627 --> 00:08:18,427
Really?
226
00:08:18,462 --> 00:08:20,529
"whose popular character dubbed
227
00:08:20,564 --> 00:08:23,432
"the laziest man in the
world" set the blueprint
228
00:08:23,467 --> 00:08:25,367
for the 'coon archetype'
229
00:08:25,402 --> 00:08:28,671
and perpetuated an
abysmal representation
230
00:08:28,705 --> 00:08:31,674
of the African-American
post-Reconstruction.
231
00:08:31,708 --> 00:08:34,443
- He was denounced by the NAACP...
- Mm-hmm.
232
00:08:34,478 --> 00:08:36,112
- And found himse..."
- Okay, Bow. Okay.
233
00:08:36,146 --> 00:08:37,813
I know who Lincoln Perry is, all right?
234
00:08:37,848 --> 00:08:40,049
But what you're not reading
off the Internet...
235
00:08:40,083 --> 00:08:42,885
- Mm-hmm.
- is that he was the first black actor
236
00:08:42,919 --> 00:08:44,720
to earn $1 million.
237
00:08:44,754 --> 00:08:48,524
"The first black actor to
get an on-screen credit,
238
00:08:48,558 --> 00:08:50,693
as he broke down Hollywood
barriers at a time
239
00:08:50,727 --> 00:08:53,195
when roles for us
weren't that plentiful.
240
00:08:53,230 --> 00:08:55,197
- And he was a philanthropist, giving..."
- Okay, okay, okay.
241
00:08:55,232 --> 00:08:56,632
- Okay. All right.
- Yes. Uh-huh.
242
00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:59,335
- Are you defending him, Dre?
- I...
243
00:08:59,369 --> 00:09:03,372
All I'm saying is that without
Lincoln Perry paving the way,
244
00:09:03,406 --> 00:09:05,641
we might not have a Denzel.
245
00:09:05,675 --> 00:09:08,077
And all I'm saying is,
without Stepin Fetchit,
246
00:09:08,111 --> 00:09:11,580
I might be comfortable napping
in front of white folk.
247
00:09:11,615 --> 00:09:12,882
- What?
- Eh.
248
00:09:12,916 --> 00:09:15,784
So disappointed with you, baby.
249
00:09:17,387 --> 00:09:20,756
Okay. It's easy for
you to criticize now,
250
00:09:20,790 --> 00:09:24,193
but that man did what he
had to do with what he had.
251
00:09:24,227 --> 00:09:25,728
Just like I'm trying to do.
252
00:09:25,762 --> 00:09:27,763
Just like Tyler Perry is trying to do.
253
00:09:27,797 --> 00:09:30,933
You want to make me feel
bad that my commercial
254
00:09:30,967 --> 00:09:33,035
is mentioned in the same
breath as Tyler Perry.
255
00:09:33,069 --> 00:09:34,870
Uh, yeah. Kind of.
256
00:09:34,905 --> 00:09:35,938
Well, I don't,
257
00:09:35,972 --> 00:09:38,841
and he's the perfect example
of the double standard.
258
00:09:38,875 --> 00:09:41,710
If Adam Sandler makes a movie
that the critics don't love,
259
00:09:41,745 --> 00:09:45,014
he's not accused of bringing
down all Jewish people.
260
00:09:45,048 --> 00:09:47,950
I promise you that if Josh
were to make that commercial
261
00:09:47,984 --> 00:09:51,053
with Justin Bieber,
he would win all kinds of awards.
262
00:09:51,087 --> 00:09:53,722
And good for him, Dre.
263
00:09:53,757 --> 00:09:55,090
But you have a different burden.
264
00:09:55,125 --> 00:09:57,927
As a black man in advertising,
265
00:09:57,961 --> 00:10:00,062
Dre, you can't mess around
with stuff like this.
266
00:10:00,096 --> 00:10:03,732
As a black man in advertising,
I don't get the opportunities,
267
00:10:03,767 --> 00:10:05,201
so I got to go for it.
268
00:10:05,235 --> 00:10:07,636
And... And we're very proud of you, Dre.
269
00:10:07,671 --> 00:10:10,606
'Cause this is...
270
00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:13,442
Look...
271
00:10:13,476 --> 00:10:17,079
I just want the freedom as an artist
272
00:10:17,113 --> 00:10:19,315
to tell the stories that I need to tell.
273
00:10:19,349 --> 00:10:21,283
[Laughing] Oh, my God. Okay.
274
00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:27,490
Dre, you had a man pour
champagne down his crotch.
275
00:10:27,591 --> 00:10:31,093
276
00:10:31,127 --> 00:10:33,762
Nice work, Vincent van Sellout.
277
00:10:33,797 --> 00:10:37,766
Few artists are understood
in their lifetime, Bow!
278
00:10:38,868 --> 00:10:40,569
Just like Kanye!
279
00:10:44,674 --> 00:10:45,641
Oh!
280
00:10:45,675 --> 00:10:47,076
Hey, I knew you were busy,
281
00:10:47,110 --> 00:10:49,178
so I made dinner for my grandbabies.
282
00:10:49,212 --> 00:10:51,847
Wow. That is so nice.
I was just gonna order piz...
283
00:10:51,881 --> 00:10:54,316
And if you pay attention,
284
00:10:54,351 --> 00:10:56,852
you might learn how to
raise them properly.
285
00:10:56,886 --> 00:11:01,323
Kids, come on! It's dinnertime.
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
286
00:11:01,358 --> 00:11:03,959
- Wait.
- You made dinner already?
287
00:11:03,994 --> 00:11:05,861
But we didn't tell you what we want.
288
00:11:05,895 --> 00:11:08,430
Uh, that's because I
don't care what you want.
289
00:11:08,465 --> 00:11:12,668
You see, kids, in my day,
there was only one thing to eat.
290
00:11:12,702 --> 00:11:15,504
And if we didn't like it,
we had to sit at the table
291
00:11:15,538 --> 00:11:17,006
until we learned to like it.
292
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:22,811
So, tonight, we're eating
meatloaf, squash, or...
293
00:11:22,846 --> 00:11:24,380
nothing.
294
00:11:24,414 --> 00:11:25,981
But I don't like meatloaf.
295
00:11:26,016 --> 00:11:27,283
Do you like nothing?
296
00:11:27,317 --> 00:11:28,851
Junior: Well, is the meatloaf organic?
297
00:11:28,885 --> 00:11:30,853
Not as organic as nothing.
298
00:11:30,887 --> 00:11:32,788
- Come on, Grandma.
- I really had a taste for sushi.
299
00:11:32,822 --> 00:11:36,525
Then help yourself to
a spicy nothing roll.
300
00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:39,461
Okay, in all seriousness,
I'm allergic to squash.
301
00:11:39,496 --> 00:11:41,664
Then I suggest you get
comfortable at that table.
302
00:11:41,698 --> 00:11:45,467
Because in my day,
there was no food allergies.
303
00:11:45,502 --> 00:11:47,569
Junior actually is allergic.
304
00:11:47,604 --> 00:11:50,372
People only say they're allergic
to things they don't like.
305
00:11:50,407 --> 00:11:52,708
Like how I told Davis
I'm allergic to latex.
306
00:11:52,742 --> 00:11:55,911
Come on, Grandma. I'm practically a man.
307
00:11:55,945 --> 00:11:58,380
You're not really gonna
make me stay at the table
308
00:11:58,415 --> 00:11:59,415
like a little kid.
309
00:11:59,449 --> 00:12:00,949
[Laughs]
310
00:12:03,453 --> 00:12:05,354
I should eat this and die.
311
00:12:05,388 --> 00:12:07,189
Then she'll be sorry.
312
00:12:07,223 --> 00:12:08,824
What are you doing?
313
00:12:08,858 --> 00:12:10,426
Why are you still sitting here?
314
00:12:10,460 --> 00:12:13,228
Grandma won't let me leave the
table until my plate is clean.
315
00:12:13,263 --> 00:12:15,030
- Oh, come on.
- Where have you been?
316
00:12:15,065 --> 00:12:16,765
- What?
- I've been trying to call you
317
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:18,734
through the psychic
bond you told me we had
318
00:12:18,768 --> 00:12:20,402
when I was too scared to go to camp.
319
00:12:20,437 --> 00:12:22,705
Oh, yes.
320
00:12:22,739 --> 00:12:24,606
That is totally real.
321
00:12:24,641 --> 00:12:27,609
And I... I felt you tugging on my soul.
322
00:12:27,644 --> 00:12:29,345
That's why I came downstairs.
323
00:12:29,379 --> 00:12:31,280
You must be starving, sweetie.
324
00:12:31,314 --> 00:12:33,282
I'm gonna make you something
that's not gonna kill you.
325
00:12:33,316 --> 00:12:34,850
- Ruby: Weak!
- What?
326
00:12:34,884 --> 00:12:36,919
You're weak, Rainbow.
327
00:12:36,953 --> 00:12:39,621
- Where the...
- And you begat weak,
328
00:12:39,656 --> 00:12:41,423
allergy-ridden children.
329
00:12:41,458 --> 00:12:43,125
Leave my mother alone!
330
00:12:43,159 --> 00:12:44,126
Thank you, sweetheart.
331
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:46,228
Uh, oop. Nosebleed.
332
00:12:46,262 --> 00:12:47,571
- See?
- Oh.
333
00:12:47,581 --> 00:12:48,864
Okay, sweetie.
334
00:12:48,898 --> 00:12:52,034
335
00:12:59,976 --> 00:13:03,112
I see you have
that sweet Escalade outside.
336
00:13:03,146 --> 00:13:05,447
I was wondering if you could
help me move this weekend.
337
00:13:05,482 --> 00:13:07,883
But before you answer,
yes, there are stairs,
338
00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:10,119
and I'm moving because I'm in danger.
339
00:13:10,153 --> 00:13:12,721
Yeah, sure. Just text me.
340
00:13:12,756 --> 00:13:14,256
I... I don't have your number.
341
00:13:14,290 --> 00:13:16,959
Yeah, you too, bro. [Chuckles]
342
00:13:16,993 --> 00:13:18,927
Ha ha! Rich Youngsta!
343
00:13:18,962 --> 00:13:20,062
Yo, man, yo.
344
00:13:20,096 --> 00:13:23,665
I showed my agents the commercial.
345
00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:24,566
- Yeah.
- They flipped.
346
00:13:24,601 --> 00:13:26,435
They were talking about
more sponsorship,
347
00:13:26,469 --> 00:13:29,171
film stuff, guest starring
on "Sesame Street."
348
00:13:29,205 --> 00:13:30,205
With Elmo?
349
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:33,342
With all of those furry,
fuzzy [bleep] [bleep] man!
350
00:13:33,376 --> 00:13:36,278
Ah, Man! I knew this
was gonna blow up, man!
351
00:13:36,312 --> 00:13:38,013
My wife didn't know what
she was talking about.
352
00:13:38,047 --> 00:13:39,615
Called me a sellout.
353
00:13:39,649 --> 00:13:40,816
Should have put some Uvo on her.
354
00:13:40,850 --> 00:13:42,484
I should have put some Uvo on her.
355
00:13:42,519 --> 00:13:44,953
[Laughter]
356
00:13:44,988 --> 00:13:46,955
Yeah, man, you know,
they say you ain't really made it
357
00:13:46,990 --> 00:13:47,723
until you got some haters.
358
00:13:47,757 --> 00:13:50,025
Well, I got haters. [Laughs]
359
00:13:50,059 --> 00:13:53,762
The girl twin. Malia Obama.
Mississippi. Siri.
360
00:13:53,797 --> 00:13:54,963
The guys that's after me.
361
00:13:54,998 --> 00:13:55,964
You know what they say,
362
00:13:55,999 --> 00:13:58,600
you're nobody till everybody
wants to hurt you.
363
00:13:58,635 --> 00:14:00,602
Charlie, nobody says that.
364
00:14:00,637 --> 00:14:01,937
Okay, Dre.
365
00:14:01,971 --> 00:14:06,675
[Scoffing]
366
00:14:06,709 --> 00:14:07,776
367
00:14:07,811 --> 00:14:11,380
Look at my children,
just happily eating the dinner
368
00:14:11,414 --> 00:14:13,849
that their pregnant doctor-mother made.
369
00:14:13,883 --> 00:14:15,884
I'm not saying I'm a hero,
370
00:14:15,919 --> 00:14:18,987
but if there were to be
a statue made of me,
371
00:14:19,022 --> 00:14:21,490
it would look like this.
372
00:14:21,524 --> 00:14:22,524
[Laughter]
373
00:14:22,559 --> 00:14:23,525
- Right?
- Junior: Mm-hmm.
374
00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:26,562
'Cause you made one dish
that everybody's eating
375
00:14:26,596 --> 00:14:27,996
and you didn't bribe them?
376
00:14:28,031 --> 00:14:28,997
She didn't have to.
377
00:14:29,032 --> 00:14:29,998
This is delicious.
378
00:14:30,033 --> 00:14:32,067
Rainbow: Thank you.
Are you surprised, Ruby?
379
00:14:32,101 --> 00:14:34,803
I mean, I made them a
vegetable lasagna with love
380
00:14:34,838 --> 00:14:39,007
and a little elbow grease and
a whole lot of mushrooms.
381
00:14:39,042 --> 00:14:40,342
I don't eat mushrooms.
382
00:14:40,376 --> 00:14:43,812
[Gasps] You don't eat mushrooms?
383
00:14:43,847 --> 00:14:45,147
- What?
- You don't say?
384
00:14:45,181 --> 00:14:47,649
You know I don't eat mushrooms.
385
00:14:47,684 --> 00:14:49,585
Yes, I do.
386
00:14:49,619 --> 00:14:52,654
Grandma, if you're not gonna eat this,
then check the microwave.
387
00:14:52,689 --> 00:14:53,856
Why? What's in there?
388
00:14:53,890 --> 00:14:54,823
Nothing.
389
00:14:54,858 --> 00:14:56,058
All: Oh!
390
00:14:56,092 --> 00:14:57,159
Oh, yeah!
391
00:14:57,193 --> 00:14:58,160
Boom!
392
00:14:58,194 --> 00:14:59,061
That's my boy.
393
00:14:59,095 --> 00:15:01,830
Well played, well played.
394
00:15:01,865 --> 00:15:04,433
Wait. Uh, Grandma, I thought
you said that in your day,
395
00:15:04,467 --> 00:15:05,901
there was only one thing to eat.
396
00:15:05,935 --> 00:15:07,336
And if you didn't like it,
397
00:15:07,370 --> 00:15:09,104
then you had to sit there until you did.
398
00:15:09,138 --> 00:15:10,138
Yeah. I remember her saying that.
399
00:15:10,173 --> 00:15:12,541
Well, sweetie, that rule
only applies to children.
400
00:15:12,575 --> 00:15:14,743
Oh, yes, but, Ruby,
401
00:15:14,777 --> 00:15:16,178
I just think we owe it to the children
402
00:15:16,212 --> 00:15:18,080
to lead by example.
403
00:15:18,114 --> 00:15:19,114
[Stammers]
404
00:15:19,148 --> 00:15:22,050
405
00:15:23,820 --> 00:15:25,921
You'll never break me!
406
00:15:25,955 --> 00:15:28,924
You hear me?! I'll die here!
407
00:15:28,958 --> 00:15:30,926
Rainbow: Prove it, Ruby!
408
00:15:34,130 --> 00:15:35,864
My commercial hadn't even aired,
409
00:15:35,899 --> 00:15:38,100
and it was already paying off.
410
00:15:38,134 --> 00:15:41,970
Oh, guess who got the Stevens & Lido box
411
00:15:42,005 --> 00:15:43,305
at the STAPLES Center tonight?
412
00:15:43,339 --> 00:15:45,908
- Nice. Let's see.
- Uh! Sorry. You're not going.
413
00:15:45,942 --> 00:15:48,043
These tickets are reserved
for people who believe in me.
414
00:15:48,077 --> 00:15:49,111
How did you find someone?
415
00:15:49,145 --> 00:15:50,112
My children.
416
00:15:50,146 --> 00:15:52,047
- Oh.
- Children!
417
00:15:52,081 --> 00:15:53,248
Come hither!
418
00:15:53,283 --> 00:15:55,617
Oh, put some Uvo on it
419
00:15:55,652 --> 00:15:57,219
Oh, no. I got a "D"?
420
00:15:57,253 --> 00:15:59,054
[Laughs] Put some Uvo on it.
421
00:15:59,088 --> 00:16:01,089
Jack, knock it off.
422
00:16:01,124 --> 00:16:02,591
Twin sister talking back?
423
00:16:02,625 --> 00:16:04,159
Put some Uvo on it.
424
00:16:04,193 --> 00:16:05,707
- Jack!
-
Oh
425
00:16:06,629 --> 00:16:08,297
Stop.
426
00:16:08,331 --> 00:16:11,099
What? I was just putting some Uvo on it.
427
00:16:11,134 --> 00:16:14,303
428
00:16:14,337 --> 00:16:16,138
Penny for your thoughts?
429
00:16:20,621 --> 00:16:22,586
I had created a phenomenon.
430
00:16:22,596 --> 00:16:25,147
"Put some Uvo on it" was
going to be the next thing
431
00:16:25,157 --> 00:16:26,857
you hated to hear frat boys say.
432
00:16:26,892 --> 00:16:28,359
Hey, guys. I just want
to give you a heads-up.
433
00:16:28,393 --> 00:16:30,127
Put some Uvo on it
434
00:16:30,162 --> 00:16:31,929
No. I need you to know that...
435
00:16:31,964 --> 00:16:33,898
That you're gonna put some Uvo on it
436
00:16:33,932 --> 00:16:34,765
Put some Uvo on it
437
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:36,767
Stevens, I made some changes to the...
438
00:16:36,802 --> 00:16:39,103
- Hold on one second.
- Hey, Jared. Welcome, welcome.
439
00:16:39,137 --> 00:16:40,705
Hey, let me tell you,
440
00:16:40,739 --> 00:16:43,908
you're about to get your world
rocked by this man right here.
441
00:16:43,942 --> 00:16:46,077
Spoiler alert... he put some Uvo on it.
442
00:16:46,111 --> 00:16:48,279
-
Put some Uvo on it
- He put some Uvo on it
443
00:16:48,313 --> 00:16:49,977
- All right.
- Thank you, guys, for coming in.
444
00:16:49,987 --> 00:16:51,287
Now, please, please, have a seat.
445
00:16:51,321 --> 00:16:53,322
I think you're gonna be very pleased
446
00:16:53,357 --> 00:16:55,324
with what we've put
together for you today.
447
00:16:55,359 --> 00:16:56,893
Take a look at the screen.
448
00:16:56,927 --> 00:17:00,129
449
00:17:00,164 --> 00:17:01,764
The biz, the business
450
00:17:01,799 --> 00:17:04,133
- What?
-
3:00 in the morning
451
00:17:04,168 --> 00:17:05,334
What is this?
452
00:17:05,369 --> 00:17:07,570
Dre, nobody's putting Uvo on anything.
453
00:17:07,604 --> 00:17:09,138
Okay, well, we thought
about it, all right,
454
00:17:09,173 --> 00:17:11,574
and we decided to go in
a different direction.
455
00:17:11,608 --> 00:17:12,608
- What?
- Thought about what?
456
00:17:12,643 --> 00:17:15,778
I might have helped,
but I'm gonna wait and see
457
00:17:15,813 --> 00:17:17,079
how this all goes down.
458
00:17:17,114 --> 00:17:17,847
All night
459
00:17:17,881 --> 00:17:19,649
So right, girl
460
00:17:19,683 --> 00:17:21,984
Girl, act like you know me
461
00:17:22,019 --> 00:17:23,186
All night
462
00:17:23,220 --> 00:17:24,687
Don't you be on that bull
463
00:17:24,721 --> 00:17:27,123
All night
464
00:17:27,157 --> 00:17:30,126
All night
465
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:32,295
Uvo. Taste the good life.
466
00:17:32,329 --> 00:17:35,298
All right, guys. That's it.
467
00:17:35,332 --> 00:17:38,234
So, what do you think?
468
00:17:39,736 --> 00:17:42,104
[Whispering indistinctly]
469
00:17:42,139 --> 00:17:45,041
470
00:17:45,075 --> 00:17:49,312
Ruby, my victory strut does not
work if you're not watching.
471
00:17:49,346 --> 00:17:52,281
You want me to tell you
that you won, is that it?
472
00:17:52,316 --> 00:17:54,016
Yes. That would be very nice.
473
00:17:54,051 --> 00:17:55,084
Okay.
474
00:17:56,753 --> 00:17:59,188
Come on, Ruby. I never get to win.
475
00:17:59,223 --> 00:18:02,692
Winning's an ugly color on you.
476
00:18:02,726 --> 00:18:05,228
- So is red.
- Wha...
477
00:18:05,262 --> 00:18:09,198
You know what, Ruby?
You started this whole thing.
478
00:18:09,233 --> 00:18:12,468
You told me I was a
bad parent, a failure!
479
00:18:12,502 --> 00:18:14,470
Yeah, and all those
things are true, too.
480
00:18:14,504 --> 00:18:16,806
- N...
- You make those kids whatever they want.
481
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:18,207
You let them order out
482
00:18:18,242 --> 00:18:20,643
and now they don't want
any of my cooking.
483
00:18:22,279 --> 00:18:24,013
Wait. This is about you?
484
00:18:24,047 --> 00:18:25,815
Rainbow, after all this time,
485
00:18:25,849 --> 00:18:29,018
you should know, it's always about me.
486
00:18:29,052 --> 00:18:31,554
Cooking was the only
thing I had around here,
487
00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:33,489
the thing that made me feel good.
488
00:18:33,523 --> 00:18:35,424
And you took that away from me.
489
00:18:35,459 --> 00:18:36,359
Oh, my goodness. Ruby.
490
00:18:36,393 --> 00:18:39,061
Cooking's my main
connection to these kids.
491
00:18:39,096 --> 00:18:41,230
I'm not interested in
their emotional lives
492
00:18:41,265 --> 00:18:42,331
or what they do at school.
493
00:18:42,366 --> 00:18:44,767
Well, why didn't you just
tell me that you need this?
494
00:18:44,801 --> 00:18:46,335
- I don't need this!
- Okay.
495
00:18:46,370 --> 00:18:48,204
I don't need anything, Rainbow!
496
00:18:48,238 --> 00:18:49,171
Okay, okay.
497
00:18:49,206 --> 00:18:54,277
Well, um, uh, if... if
you would like to do
498
00:18:54,311 --> 00:18:57,079
a little more
of the cooking around here,
499
00:18:57,114 --> 00:18:59,415
I would really appreciate that.
500
00:18:59,449 --> 00:19:01,017
Because you're a failure?
501
00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:06,956
[Exhales deeply] S-Sure. Sure.
502
00:19:06,990 --> 00:19:08,925
- I knew it.
- Mm-hmm.
503
00:19:08,959 --> 00:19:11,060
- You're barely hanging on.
- [Chuckles]
504
00:19:11,094 --> 00:19:13,696
I'm the one that's keeping
those babies alive.
505
00:19:13,730 --> 00:19:15,264
- [Laughs sarcastically]
- Yeah.
506
00:19:15,299 --> 00:19:20,369
Yeah. This isn't quite the
way I saw any of this going.
507
00:19:20,404 --> 00:19:22,038
Whoo.
508
00:19:22,072 --> 00:19:25,341
So... what'd they think of the new ad?
509
00:19:26,510 --> 00:19:27,576
They thought...
510
00:19:27,611 --> 00:19:29,045
[Ring clatters]
511
00:19:29,079 --> 00:19:31,948
- They loved it!
- Ahh! Really?
512
00:19:31,982 --> 00:19:34,216
They said it was elegant, tasteful,
513
00:19:34,251 --> 00:19:35,284
and perfect for their product.
514
00:19:35,319 --> 00:19:37,920
So, they didn't miss the
part where you changed
515
00:19:37,955 --> 00:19:40,556
the loud-mouthed black woman
for the doting white woman?
516
00:19:40,590 --> 00:19:42,758
No, but I'm starting to miss it now.
517
00:19:42,793 --> 00:19:44,727
- Very funny.
- [Chuckles]
518
00:19:44,761 --> 00:19:47,196
All right, look, Bow, you were right.
519
00:19:48,498 --> 00:19:51,567
That's two wins today. Two!
520
00:19:51,601 --> 00:19:54,003
You're such a good, good girl.
521
00:19:54,037 --> 00:19:54,837
I'm sorry. What were you saying?
522
00:19:54,871 --> 00:19:56,772
I was saying that I was caught up
523
00:19:56,807 --> 00:20:00,009
because I made a very funny
video and I was proud of myself.
524
00:20:00,043 --> 00:20:01,110
Mm.
525
00:20:01,144 --> 00:20:02,845
But somewhere along the way,
526
00:20:02,879 --> 00:20:05,514
I forgot that I was a
black man in America,
527
00:20:05,549 --> 00:20:07,450
and I don't get to play
by the same rules.
528
00:20:08,652 --> 00:20:10,686
Dre, you have every right
529
00:20:10,721 --> 00:20:13,322
to want the same creative
freedom as anybody else.
530
00:20:13,357 --> 00:20:15,324
Yeah, but then I saw Jack,
531
00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:18,594
and all of a sudden,
I wasn't an ad man anymore.
532
00:20:18,628 --> 00:20:21,263
- I was a father.
- Yeah.
533
00:20:21,298 --> 00:20:23,165
And I have to double and triple think
534
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:24,633
every depiction of our people.
535
00:20:24,668 --> 00:20:27,103
That is a lot of responsibility.
536
00:20:27,137 --> 00:20:29,872
Well, hey, babe, with great power
537
00:20:29,906 --> 00:20:31,374
comes great responsibility.
538
00:20:31,408 --> 00:20:32,274
That is true.
539
00:20:32,309 --> 00:20:35,344
That's why I'm kind of like a superhero.
540
00:20:35,379 --> 00:20:36,312
Of course you are.
541
00:20:36,346 --> 00:20:38,481
I have the power to know
what my people want,
542
00:20:38,515 --> 00:20:41,617
but the responsibility to
give them what they need.
543
00:20:41,651 --> 00:20:42,685
Yes, Dre.
544
00:20:42,719 --> 00:20:45,654
And right now, I'm about
to give you what you need.
545
00:20:45,689 --> 00:20:47,456
You want to put some Uvo on it?
546
00:20:47,491 --> 00:20:48,290
Uh...
547
00:20:48,325 --> 00:20:49,291
Huh? You want to put some Uvo on it?
548
00:20:49,326 --> 00:20:51,193
Baby, y-you're pregnant.
That's a terrible idea.
549
00:20:51,228 --> 00:20:52,061
- Because...
- What?
550
00:20:52,095 --> 00:20:53,295
that stuff gave the actors rashes.
551
00:20:53,330 --> 00:20:55,354
- [Gasps] No!
- Yes.
552
00:20:56,192 --> 00:20:58,865
Junior, have you seen my keys?
I can't find them anywhere.
553
00:20:58,875 --> 00:21:01,600
Actually, I've hidden them in an attempt
554
00:21:01,610 --> 00:21:02,676
to test our psychic bond.
555
00:21:02,711 --> 00:21:05,312
Not now, Junior. There's an
emergency at the hospital.
556
00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:06,480
I do not have time for this.
557
00:21:06,515 --> 00:21:08,082
I knew you were gonna say that!
558
00:21:08,116 --> 00:21:09,417
- What?
- We're halfway there.
559
00:21:09,451 --> 00:21:11,152
Okay, I'm just gonna call an Uber.
560
00:21:11,186 --> 00:21:12,453
I've also hidden your cellphone.
561
00:21:12,487 --> 00:21:13,988
- You did what?
- Come on, Mom.
562
00:21:14,022 --> 00:21:16,023
- No. No.
- You can do... You can do it!
563
00:21:16,057 --> 00:21:17,057
Okay.
564
00:21:19,327 --> 00:21:20,494
Are you even trying?
565
00:21:20,681 --> 00:21:24,855
Synced and corrected by johnyd13
~ www.addic7ed.com ~
566
00:21:24,905 --> 00:21:29,455
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