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-
Say
- Dre: Jury duty.
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Can you see
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00:00:05,294 --> 00:00:06,629
An American honor.
4
00:00:06,661 --> 00:00:09,030
One of the cornerstones
of our democracy.
5
00:00:09,063 --> 00:00:11,399
-
By the dawn's
- A civic obligation
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00:00:11,433 --> 00:00:13,035
that's a small price to pay
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00:00:13,068 --> 00:00:15,371
to live in a fair and just society.
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Early light
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00:00:17,505 --> 00:00:18,773
But since the government
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00:00:18,807 --> 00:00:21,043
is too cheap to pay for certified mail,
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00:00:21,075 --> 00:00:24,080
there's no way to prove I got this.
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- [Shredder whirring]
- Which is good, 'cause jury duty sucks.
13
00:00:27,348 --> 00:00:28,783
- [Electricity crackles]
- Florescent lighting.
14
00:00:28,816 --> 00:00:30,385
Crappy parking.
15
00:00:30,418 --> 00:00:33,055
A one-way map to the nearest lunch spot.
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00:00:33,087 --> 00:00:36,324
But mostly, jury duty is
sitting in a room all day
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00:00:36,357 --> 00:00:38,059
with a bunch of weirdos
18
00:00:38,092 --> 00:00:40,562
who live for the opportunity
to judge others.
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00:00:40,595 --> 00:00:43,465
String him up! Shoot him out back!
20
00:00:43,498 --> 00:00:46,735
Ma'am, for the last time,
this is traffic court.
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00:00:46,769 --> 00:00:50,071
And your left breast has
been exposed for two hours.
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00:00:50,104 --> 00:00:51,406
My le...
23
00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:52,408
Oh.
24
00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:54,309
Oh, well...
25
00:00:54,342 --> 00:00:57,479
Justice doled out at
a buck-80 an hour...
26
00:00:57,513 --> 00:00:58,748
you get what you pay for.
27
00:00:58,781 --> 00:00:59,748
How you doing?
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00:00:59,781 --> 00:01:01,349
That's why I have joined
29
00:01:01,382 --> 00:01:03,685
millions of other patriotic Americans
30
00:01:03,718 --> 00:01:05,620
in saying, "Screw jury duty."
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00:01:05,653 --> 00:01:06,988
Good news, Dad.
32
00:01:07,021 --> 00:01:08,957
You accidentally put
this in the shredder,
33
00:01:08,991 --> 00:01:11,027
but I was able to reassemble it
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00:01:11,060 --> 00:01:14,228
and put your juror number
in the online system.
35
00:01:14,238 --> 00:01:15,598
Why?
36
00:01:15,631 --> 00:01:18,167
Why would you do this? Huh?
Why would you do any of this?
37
00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:19,502
No need to thank me,
38
00:01:19,534 --> 00:01:22,203
but I also called to
confirm they received it.
39
00:01:22,236 --> 00:01:23,438
They did,
40
00:01:23,471 --> 00:01:26,208
so 7:00 a.m. sharp,
Temple Street Courthouse.
41
00:01:26,241 --> 00:01:27,709
Be there or be square...
42
00:01:27,742 --> 00:01:30,545
and in contempt of court.
43
00:01:30,578 --> 00:01:31,647
Mu...
44
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Synced and corrected by johnyd13
~ www.addic7ed.com ~
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I have copies.
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[Door slams]
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00:01:44,158 --> 00:01:47,962
Oh, there's the face of a civic warrior!
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Look at you.
49
00:01:49,263 --> 00:01:51,667
Yes, look at me. I'm a weirdo.
50
00:01:51,700 --> 00:01:54,336
You made me a weirdo.
51
00:01:54,369 --> 00:01:57,640
I befriended someone today
who I believe lives outside.
52
00:01:57,673 --> 00:02:00,076
Told me he was gonna
friend me on Facebook
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00:02:00,108 --> 00:02:02,010
on the library's computer.
54
00:02:02,043 --> 00:02:04,646
Good news is you did it.
55
00:02:04,679 --> 00:02:05,914
- So you're all done now.
- No.
56
00:02:05,947 --> 00:02:08,083
I'm not all done.
It's just the beginning.
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They chose me. I'm on the jury.
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00:02:10,586 --> 00:02:12,387
Moneyball! High-five!
59
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Ha, yeah!
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00:02:13,387 --> 00:02:14,689
[Rainbow gasps]
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00:02:14,723 --> 00:02:15,690
Dad.
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00:02:15,724 --> 00:02:17,893
Rainbow: Dre, come on.
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00:02:17,926 --> 00:02:19,862
I don't think jury duty's
gonna be that bad.
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00:02:19,894 --> 00:02:22,030
I missed my fantasy-basketball draft.
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00:02:22,064 --> 00:02:23,399
Do you know how hard it is
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00:02:23,432 --> 00:02:25,000
to recover from computer selections?
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00:02:25,033 --> 00:02:27,602
I have four centers... four!
68
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I don't... Is that something...
We don't want that?
69
00:02:29,404 --> 00:02:31,006
Junior: Dad, it's worth it.
70
00:02:31,039 --> 00:02:33,342
The criminal-justice system is broken.
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00:02:33,374 --> 00:02:36,077
Public defenders have
impossible caseloads.
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00:02:36,111 --> 00:02:38,748
In some states, they only
have about seven minutes
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- to prepare for a case.
- Seven?
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Hey, Junior, come here for a second.
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Come here. Can you do me a huge favor?
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- Yeah.
- Shut up!
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[Gasps] Oh.
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00:02:47,255 --> 00:02:49,090
- Not today, big guy.
- Get him.
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00:02:49,124 --> 00:02:50,793
Another insane fact...
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00:02:50,826 --> 00:02:54,396
97% of prisoners accepted plea deals
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rather than going on trial.
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00:02:56,731 --> 00:02:59,033
The system needs you, Dad.
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00:02:59,066 --> 00:03:01,102
The odds are stacked
against the accused,
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who often lack the resources
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required for an adequate defense.
86
00:03:04,973 --> 00:03:07,610
Somebody's been watching
documentaries again, huh?
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00:03:07,642 --> 00:03:08,711
- Yes, I have.
- [Laughs]
88
00:03:08,743 --> 00:03:10,979
More documentaries.
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00:03:11,012 --> 00:03:13,949
Every time you watch one,
you ruin my life.
90
00:03:13,981 --> 00:03:15,784
Remember "Super Size Me"?
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00:03:17,319 --> 00:03:20,723
I just saved you 600
low-quality calories.
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You're welcome, Dad.
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[Blows]
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00:03:26,928 --> 00:03:30,165
Well, I'm not sorry you
have to do your civic duty.
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This is a real person who
deserves a fair trial
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and is entitled to a
jury of his own peers.
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[Slams table] I wish I could kill you.
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00:03:39,273 --> 00:03:42,343
But that would just send another
poor bastard to jury duty.
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Oh.
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Junior: Going...
Oh, I'm hitting the combo.
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00:03:45,681 --> 00:03:47,148
- Nope, nope.
- Can't get out of this one.
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00:03:47,182 --> 00:03:48,284
- Oh, oh, oh!
- No.
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Boom! Got you!
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00:03:50,152 --> 00:03:52,188
[Bleep] you, Junior. You killed me.
105
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Hey! Seth! Language!
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We don't talk like that.
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This is an "Oh, fudge" house.
108
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- Sorry, Mrs. Johnson.
- Whew, it's been a long time
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00:04:01,863 --> 00:04:04,432
since I handed down the
punishment of the Lord.
110
00:04:04,465 --> 00:04:06,836
Ooh. [Sighs] Black Jesus,
please don't let me...
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00:04:06,868 --> 00:04:08,837
follow through too hard on the
white neighbor lady's child.
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00:04:08,870 --> 00:04:09,939
- Okay.
- No, let me throw it.
113
00:04:09,971 --> 00:04:11,005
No. No, no, no. Okay, it's handled.
114
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- [Doorbell rings]
- It's handled.
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[Sighs]
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Hey.
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What up, Rainbow?
118
00:04:16,844 --> 00:04:18,346
- Hi.
- I'm here for Seth.
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00:04:18,380 --> 00:04:20,616
We're going to the Kanye West concert.
120
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Yeah, that feels right.
121
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- Seth, let's wrap it up!
- Okay, just why don't you come on in?
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00:04:24,719 --> 00:04:26,221
- It's Yeezy time!
- Seth: Okay.
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00:04:26,255 --> 00:04:27,822
Hey, hey, Janine,
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can I talk to you for one
little, quick second?
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Please don't take this the wrong way,
126
00:04:31,092 --> 00:04:32,047
but I'm a little bit concerned.
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Your son could have,
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00:04:34,225 --> 00:04:35,694
like, a bright future as a dock worker.
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00:04:35,728 --> 00:04:37,095
Kid's got a real mouth on him.
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00:04:37,129 --> 00:04:38,664
Yeah, he certainly does.
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No, no. Cursing is just a
form of self-expression.
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I find that it allows my baby boy
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to feel more comfortable
sharing with his mama.
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00:04:45,670 --> 00:04:47,206
- [Scoffs]
- Here, watch this.
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00:04:47,239 --> 00:04:49,542
Hey, Seth, how many kids in
your class are having sex?
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00:04:49,574 --> 00:04:50,608
- Wha...
- Five.
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00:04:50,641 --> 00:04:52,610
But not me. I'm only doing top stuff.
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00:04:52,644 --> 00:04:53,845
- Mm.
- Ohh.
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00:04:53,879 --> 00:04:55,314
[Chuckles]
140
00:04:55,346 --> 00:04:58,660
Well, I obviously know
Junior very well, too.
141
00:04:58,670 --> 00:05:01,138
We are incredibly close.
142
00:05:01,172 --> 00:05:03,428
- And without the use of profanity.
- Mm-hmm.
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00:05:03,438 --> 00:05:05,608
You do know that he curses
when he's at my house.
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00:05:05,642 --> 00:05:07,409
[Laughs] That's impossible.
145
00:05:07,442 --> 00:05:09,445
We... This is an "Oh, shucks" house.
146
00:05:09,478 --> 00:05:11,248
We don't... What is that?
147
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Get that [bleep] out of my house!
148
00:05:12,714 --> 00:05:13,782
- Whew!
- Oh!
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00:05:13,815 --> 00:05:15,351
- Okay.
- Shucks.
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00:05:15,385 --> 00:05:17,019
Ooh-kay.
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00:05:17,053 --> 00:05:18,088
On the bright side, I guess the two
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could carpool to the docks together.
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[Laughs]
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00:05:21,957 --> 00:05:22,957
- Ow!
- Ooh!
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00:05:24,459 --> 00:05:25,695
Oh, no.
156
00:05:25,728 --> 00:05:27,731
Don't do that.
157
00:05:27,764 --> 00:05:29,399
158
00:05:29,431 --> 00:05:32,402
Okay, so maybe they
can make me sit here,
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00:05:32,435 --> 00:05:34,904
but they sure as hell
can't make me listen.
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Narrator: [Through earbuds]
And welcome back
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00:05:36,406 --> 00:05:39,576
to Andy Richter narrating
"Rich Dad Poor Dad."
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00:05:39,608 --> 00:05:41,713
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00:05:41,723 --> 00:05:43,926
Junior: This is not just a jury summons.
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This is a real person who
deserves a fair trial.
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[Gavel bangs]
166
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Judge: Mr. Antoine Jeffries,
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00:05:51,557 --> 00:05:53,593
you're charged with
burglary and grand larceny.
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00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:54,360
How do you plead?
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00:05:54,394 --> 00:05:56,730
Uh...
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00:05:56,762 --> 00:05:59,832
Public defenders have
impossible caseloads.
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00:05:59,865 --> 00:06:01,935
In some states, they only
have about seven minutes
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00:06:01,968 --> 00:06:03,504
- to prepare for a case.
- Um...
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00:06:03,536 --> 00:06:04,771
Guilty.
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00:06:04,805 --> 00:06:06,607
Oh.
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00:06:06,639 --> 00:06:07,940
Wait. That's a different Antoine.
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00:06:07,973 --> 00:06:10,577
Uh, this Antoine pleads...
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00:06:10,610 --> 00:06:12,946
not guilty.
178
00:06:12,978 --> 00:06:14,281
Right?
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00:06:14,314 --> 00:06:17,117
And is entitled to a jury of his peers.
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00:06:17,149 --> 00:06:18,766
[Yawns]
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Dre: So I was the only thing
close to a peer for this kid.
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00:06:22,314 --> 00:06:24,448
Plus I was the only one
actually listening.
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00:06:24,482 --> 00:06:26,083
Really?
184
00:06:26,117 --> 00:06:30,789
"Live Free or Die Hard" is
your favorite "Die Hard"?
185
00:06:30,821 --> 00:06:31,821
Ugh.
186
00:06:32,857 --> 00:06:34,258
[Rainbow sighs]
187
00:06:34,292 --> 00:06:37,296
I can't stop thinking about
what Janine said to me.
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00:06:37,328 --> 00:06:38,663
Do you think Junior's a different person
189
00:06:38,696 --> 00:06:39,797
when I'm not around?
190
00:06:39,831 --> 00:06:41,999
I mean, I don't let him curse at home.
191
00:06:42,033 --> 00:06:45,369
So am I creating an
environment of deception?
192
00:06:45,403 --> 00:06:47,039
What else don't I know?
193
00:06:47,071 --> 00:06:49,473
The list of what you don't know is long.
194
00:06:49,506 --> 00:06:52,043
Number one is how to
keep your man happy.
195
00:06:52,076 --> 00:06:53,076
Where's your man?
196
00:06:53,912 --> 00:06:54,933
Hey!
197
00:06:54,943 --> 00:06:56,579
Hi! How was school today?
198
00:06:56,612 --> 00:06:58,114
[Chuckles] Great.
The funniest thing happened.
199
00:06:58,147 --> 00:06:59,615
Oh, tell me.
200
00:06:59,648 --> 00:07:01,083
Wha...
201
00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:03,485
How is it that you just
don't give up on life?
202
00:07:03,495 --> 00:07:04,963
She's... She's gonna tell me later.
203
00:07:04,996 --> 00:07:06,632
- We're really close.
- Yeah, yeah, right.
204
00:07:06,664 --> 00:07:09,400
Hey! How you doing? What's going on?
205
00:07:09,433 --> 00:07:11,602
Oh. W-Why... Why do you
have leaves in your hair?
206
00:07:11,635 --> 00:07:13,505
Well, I didn't punch anyone in the face,
207
00:07:13,537 --> 00:07:14,972
if that's what you're implying.
208
00:07:15,005 --> 00:07:16,474
Oh, well, I'd love to
hear more about that.
209
00:07:16,508 --> 00:07:18,277
Well...
210
00:07:18,310 --> 00:07:19,577
Maybe she'll tell me later.
211
00:07:19,611 --> 00:07:21,947
Oh! Did one of your classmates
212
00:07:21,979 --> 00:07:23,515
give you this friendship bracelet?
213
00:07:23,548 --> 00:07:25,149
[Gasps] Do you have a
little girlfriend?!
214
00:07:25,183 --> 00:07:27,252
- No.
- You can tell me.
215
00:07:27,284 --> 00:07:28,820
Mommy. [Giggles]
216
00:07:28,854 --> 00:07:30,188
Mom, a little space, please.
217
00:07:30,222 --> 00:07:31,957
- Uh...
- Oof.
218
00:07:31,989 --> 00:07:33,624
- Oh, my God.
- Mm. [Clears throat]
219
00:07:33,657 --> 00:07:35,760
I don't know my kids.
220
00:07:35,794 --> 00:07:37,195
I'm gonna have to try the cursing thing.
221
00:07:37,229 --> 00:07:40,132
Mnh-mnh! Cursing is the devil's tongue.
222
00:07:40,164 --> 00:07:42,266
You're not supposed to
know your kids, anyway.
223
00:07:42,299 --> 00:07:44,169
I hardly know anything about Dre.
224
00:07:44,202 --> 00:07:47,005
And Rhonda still hasn't
introduced me to her boyfriend.
225
00:07:47,037 --> 00:07:48,005
- Ruby.
- Huh?
226
00:07:48,039 --> 00:07:49,241
Rhonda's gay.
227
00:07:50,642 --> 00:07:51,642
Oh, yeah, right.
228
00:07:51,676 --> 00:07:53,878
She... She's still doing that.
229
00:07:53,911 --> 00:07:56,113
I don't know why I even asked you.
230
00:07:56,147 --> 00:07:59,308
An eyewitness saw the
defendant at the scene.
231
00:07:59,318 --> 00:08:03,056
The next day, the defendant was
seen wearing the stolen hoodie,
232
00:08:03,089 --> 00:08:05,558
with a substantial amount
of cash in his pocket.
233
00:08:05,590 --> 00:08:07,926
This is an open-and-shut case.
234
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,830
Antoine Jeffries is guilty.
235
00:08:10,863 --> 00:08:11,898
Thank you.
236
00:08:11,931 --> 00:08:14,366
Mr. Alexander, the floor is yours.
237
00:08:18,436 --> 00:08:22,109
Look, guys, I, uh...
thought this was tomorrow.
238
00:08:24,544 --> 00:08:25,611
Trust your hearts.
239
00:08:25,645 --> 00:08:27,146
What?
240
00:08:27,179 --> 00:08:30,217
241
00:08:34,020 --> 00:08:36,489
Okay, everyone, let's take a vote.
242
00:08:36,521 --> 00:08:38,190
Get this over with.
243
00:08:38,223 --> 00:08:40,126
You heard the prosecutor...
open-and-shut.
244
00:08:40,159 --> 00:08:42,327
Let's convict this kid
so we can all go home.
245
00:08:42,361 --> 00:08:44,063
[Jury members agreeing]
246
00:08:47,232 --> 00:08:48,001
Guilty.
247
00:08:48,034 --> 00:08:49,001
Guilty.
248
00:08:49,034 --> 00:08:49,868
Guilty.
249
00:08:49,901 --> 00:08:51,036
Guilty.
250
00:08:51,069 --> 00:08:51,871
Guilty. Guilty.
251
00:08:51,904 --> 00:08:52,838
Guilty. Guilty.
252
00:08:52,871 --> 00:08:53,705
Guilty. Guilty.
253
00:08:53,738 --> 00:08:54,807
Guilty. Guilty.
254
00:08:56,375 --> 00:08:58,144
Not guilty. [Sighs]
255
00:08:58,177 --> 00:08:59,479
All right.
256
00:08:59,511 --> 00:09:01,180
11 to 1.
257
00:09:01,213 --> 00:09:02,881
Would the one like to explain
258
00:09:02,914 --> 00:09:04,650
why he doesn't want us to go home?
259
00:09:04,683 --> 00:09:10,023
Well, the one, whoever he or she may be,
260
00:09:10,055 --> 00:09:12,324
might just think that
this is a real person
261
00:09:12,357 --> 00:09:16,195
who deserves a fair trial
from a jury of his peers.
262
00:09:16,228 --> 00:09:20,232
Uh, "open-and-shut" just
seems a little fast.
263
00:09:20,265 --> 00:09:21,867
Great.
264
00:09:21,900 --> 00:09:24,169
All the juries in the country,
and we get the one
265
00:09:24,202 --> 00:09:25,871
with the guy that just
watched a documentary.
266
00:09:25,904 --> 00:09:27,372
[All sigh]
267
00:09:27,405 --> 00:09:28,241
- What?
- Come on.
268
00:09:28,274 --> 00:09:30,710
269
00:09:32,349 --> 00:09:34,283
Rainbow: Okay, guys, just want to talk
270
00:09:34,293 --> 00:09:37,280
a little bit about the
cursing guidelines
271
00:09:37,290 --> 00:09:40,160
to ensure a smooth transition.
272
00:09:40,192 --> 00:09:42,075
So you're gonna actually let us swear...
273
00:09:42,085 --> 00:09:43,687
- Yeah.
- In front of you?
274
00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:46,089
Yeah! Sweetheart, words are simply tools
275
00:09:46,123 --> 00:09:47,190
for self-expression.
276
00:09:47,224 --> 00:09:48,725
I don't need to be so uptight,
277
00:09:48,758 --> 00:09:50,927
and I don't need to be your word police.
278
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:52,930
Well, I think it's a terrible idea.
279
00:09:52,963 --> 00:09:54,599
- Yeah, well.
- But you've made your decision.
280
00:09:54,632 --> 00:09:56,767
- Yes.
- I don't know, Mom.
281
00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,202
This reeks of entrapment.
282
00:09:58,234 --> 00:09:59,036
No, no, no.
283
00:09:59,069 --> 00:10:00,404
I promise it's not. Unh-unh.
284
00:10:00,436 --> 00:10:01,171
Who wants to try, guys?
285
00:10:01,204 --> 00:10:02,172
Come on.
286
00:10:02,205 --> 00:10:03,206
Go for it.
287
00:10:03,239 --> 00:10:04,841
Um... boobies?
288
00:10:04,874 --> 00:10:05,675
Oh.
289
00:10:05,709 --> 00:10:07,111
- Oh.
- Okay.
290
00:10:07,143 --> 00:10:08,211
Well, that's something.
291
00:10:08,244 --> 00:10:09,546
Who wants to try the hard stuff, though?
292
00:10:09,579 --> 00:10:10,680
Come on. Hard stuff?
293
00:10:10,714 --> 00:10:12,016
- Ugh!
- Oh.
294
00:10:12,049 --> 00:10:13,618
This gazpacho tastes like [bleep]
295
00:10:13,651 --> 00:10:14,584
Whoa, whoa!
296
00:10:14,618 --> 00:10:16,786
- Okay. [Laughs]
- It's nasty.
297
00:10:16,820 --> 00:10:19,422
Yeah, all right, well,
that was a little hurtful.
298
00:10:19,455 --> 00:10:20,651
But it sounded really natural.
299
00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:21,862
I'm sorry, Mom.
300
00:10:21,896 --> 00:10:23,832
I'm just not comfortable with this.
301
00:10:23,864 --> 00:10:25,032
I don't swear.
302
00:10:25,065 --> 00:10:26,401
Janine's been recording you.
303
00:10:26,434 --> 00:10:27,703
That [bleep]
304
00:10:27,736 --> 00:10:29,304
- [Gasps] Oh!
- Oh, my!
305
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:31,073
Okay, that was so jarring! [Laughs]
306
00:10:31,106 --> 00:10:33,508
But way to go with the self-expression!
307
00:10:33,540 --> 00:10:36,478
The lines of communication
are open for business.
308
00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:38,313
Ring, ring!
309
00:10:38,345 --> 00:10:41,115
Poop, boobies, snot!
310
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,186
You'll get there, sweetie.
311
00:10:44,218 --> 00:10:46,688
All right, guys, a little brainstorming.
312
00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,438
Sleep Tite Inns needs rebranding
313
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,017
because of a series of recent murders.
314
00:10:50,051 --> 00:10:51,653
- Go!
- O-Okay.
315
00:10:51,686 --> 00:10:53,788
Uh, "We know how to keep a secret."
316
00:10:53,821 --> 00:10:55,790
"Why don't you stay here... forever?"
317
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:58,159
"What are the odds it
happens three times?"
318
00:10:58,192 --> 00:11:00,028
"We're killing the competition."
319
00:11:00,061 --> 00:11:01,596
- [Laughs]
- Can... Can I hop in?
320
00:11:01,629 --> 00:11:03,197
Um...
321
00:11:03,231 --> 00:11:05,600
"You'll feel like you've
died and gone to heaven."
322
00:11:05,633 --> 00:11:06,601
- Bro.
- Charlie: I see your vision.
323
00:11:06,634 --> 00:11:07,369
- Bro.
- I see your vision.
324
00:11:07,402 --> 00:11:08,837
No! Guys!
325
00:11:08,870 --> 00:11:09,971
- Guys!
- Did you go to college?
326
00:11:10,004 --> 00:11:12,173
These are horrible, okay?
327
00:11:12,207 --> 00:11:13,695
All they do is highlight the murders.
328
00:11:13,705 --> 00:11:14,973
No, no, no, lookit.
329
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:17,309
We needs something more
along the lines of, um,
330
00:11:17,342 --> 00:11:20,212
"Come for the endless breakfasts,
331
00:11:20,244 --> 00:11:21,713
stay because you won't get murdered."
332
00:11:21,747 --> 00:11:22,948
Oh, my God. I just did it, too.
333
00:11:22,981 --> 00:11:24,183
- See?
- You did what we did.
334
00:11:24,215 --> 00:11:25,216
Wow. This is hard.
335
00:11:25,251 --> 00:11:26,619
- Very hard.
- Your mind thinks, but then your...
336
00:11:26,651 --> 00:11:28,653
Hey, Dre! You're here!
337
00:11:28,686 --> 00:11:30,889
We weren't floundering in your absence.
338
00:11:30,923 --> 00:11:32,224
W-Wait a minute. Why are you here?
339
00:11:32,257 --> 00:11:33,825
I thought you were on trial.
340
00:11:33,858 --> 00:11:36,295
No, I'm on a trial...
341
00:11:36,328 --> 00:11:36,962
- Oh.
- Ah.
342
00:11:36,994 --> 00:11:37,796
As a juror.
343
00:11:37,829 --> 00:11:38,863
- Okay.
- All right?
344
00:11:38,896 --> 00:11:39,964
But the courthouse is closed today
345
00:11:39,997 --> 00:11:41,834
because of a Black Lives Matter protest.
346
00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:44,035
What? I thought you guys won that one.
347
00:11:44,069 --> 00:11:45,257
- Nah.
- Nah.
348
00:11:45,267 --> 00:11:46,671
Oh.
349
00:11:46,068 --> 00:11:47,205
I still can't believe
350
00:11:47,238 --> 00:11:48,873
you let yourself get stuck in jury duty.
351
00:11:48,906 --> 00:11:50,408
Yeah, I know. It's easy to get out.
352
00:11:50,441 --> 00:11:51,844
You just got to go in shirtless.
353
00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:54,747
Or wear too many shirts...
some of them as pants.
354
00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:56,449
But don't button it all the way up.
355
00:11:56,482 --> 00:11:57,783
You'll choke your booty out.
356
00:11:57,815 --> 00:12:00,752
No one goes to jury duty, Dre.
Send your proxy.
357
00:12:00,786 --> 00:12:01,887
You have a proxy?
358
00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:03,555
You don't? Come on!
359
00:12:03,589 --> 00:12:05,858
My proxy went to all my kids' plays.
360
00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:07,959
And he had sex with my first wife
361
00:12:07,993 --> 00:12:09,895
- when she couldn't lose that baby weight.
- Nice.
362
00:12:09,927 --> 00:12:11,897
Well, I'll never get stuck in jury duty.
363
00:12:11,930 --> 00:12:13,632
I'm legally deceased.
364
00:12:13,665 --> 00:12:16,435
That's why I can't cash my checks.
365
00:12:16,468 --> 00:12:19,704
You know what, Charlie?
I used to blow off my civic duty, too,
366
00:12:19,738 --> 00:12:22,407
until I sat in that courtroom
367
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:25,076
and started to feel the
enormous responsibility
368
00:12:25,109 --> 00:12:27,779
of holding another
man's life in my hands.
369
00:12:27,813 --> 00:12:30,249
I... I'll just say it.
370
00:12:30,281 --> 00:12:31,299
- I care.
- Hmm.
371
00:12:31,309 --> 00:12:32,743
Oh. Okay.
372
00:12:32,776 --> 00:12:34,246
So the defendant is black.
373
00:12:34,278 --> 00:12:36,280
Who said he was black?
374
00:12:36,314 --> 00:12:38,127
Well, is he?
375
00:12:39,989 --> 00:12:41,353
I'm not doing this just
because he's black.
376
00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:42,621
Okay. Hello.
377
00:12:42,653 --> 00:12:43,954
All right, and if I'm being honest...
378
00:12:43,988 --> 00:12:45,690
- Yeah.
- This country's judicial system
379
00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:47,747
has not been great for us.
380
00:12:47,757 --> 00:12:48,826
Mm-hmm. No.
381
00:12:48,859 --> 00:12:49,827
And here comes
382
00:12:49,861 --> 00:12:51,496
a two-hour lecture on black stuff.
383
00:12:51,528 --> 00:12:52,990
God, I wish my proxy were here.
384
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,058
- Go ahead.
- Here it is.
385
00:12:54,068 --> 00:12:56,337
When a person is accused
of a crime in America,
386
00:12:56,370 --> 00:12:58,773
the law says that we
have a right to a trial
387
00:12:58,805 --> 00:13:00,206
with a jury of our peers.
388
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,710
But that wasn't possible
for black people,
389
00:13:02,742 --> 00:13:05,011
who weren't even allowed
to serve on juries
390
00:13:05,044 --> 00:13:07,847
until the Supreme Court
stepped in in 1880.
391
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:09,382
[Ding!]
392
00:13:09,415 --> 00:13:12,318
But even after we could
legally serve on juries...
393
00:13:12,352 --> 00:13:13,953
[All cheer]
394
00:13:13,986 --> 00:13:17,058
prosecutors came up
with ways to keep us off.
395
00:13:17,091 --> 00:13:18,491
- No facial hair.
- Oh!
396
00:13:18,525 --> 00:13:20,160
No folded arms.
397
00:13:20,193 --> 00:13:22,029
- "He's wearing too many chains."
- What?!
398
00:13:22,062 --> 00:13:23,864
- Too much athletic wear.
- Come on.
399
00:13:23,896 --> 00:13:26,499
Which are all code for "too black."
400
00:13:26,533 --> 00:13:27,534
[Buzzer!]
401
00:13:27,568 --> 00:13:30,037
That means black
defendants facing juries
402
00:13:30,069 --> 00:13:32,972
filled with people who are
purposefully not their peers,
403
00:13:33,005 --> 00:13:36,876
people who don't understand
their lives, their experiences,
404
00:13:36,909 --> 00:13:40,246
and can't see themselves
in the defendant's shoes.
405
00:13:40,279 --> 00:13:42,249
This messed-up system
is one of the reasons
406
00:13:42,281 --> 00:13:46,020
why 1 in 17 white men go to jail,
407
00:13:46,053 --> 00:13:48,556
but for black men, it's one in three.
408
00:13:48,588 --> 00:13:51,659
Wow. One in three?
409
00:13:51,692 --> 00:13:53,015
- Mm-hmm.
- That is incredible.
410
00:13:53,025 --> 00:13:53,906
Hm.
411
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:56,451
So which one of you three
lied on your r?sum??
412
00:13:56,484 --> 00:13:57,954
- Oh.
- Ooh. Okay.
413
00:13:57,986 --> 00:13:59,321
Man, I'm gonna go ahead
and step outside.
414
00:13:59,355 --> 00:14:00,389
You know what? This never worked.
415
00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:01,890
I'm gonna take this to maintenance.
416
00:14:01,923 --> 00:14:03,292
- I'm not even at work today.
- One's out, two's out.
417
00:14:03,326 --> 00:14:04,994
I guess it's the only guy left.
418
00:14:05,027 --> 00:14:07,564
I'm... I'm deceased.
419
00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:11,400
So, back at home, the cursing
experiment was under way...
420
00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:13,569
with definitely mixed results.
421
00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:15,505
- [Bleep]
-
It goes like this
422
00:14:15,537 --> 00:14:16,406
-
My name is $hort
- Whoo!
423
00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:18,006
So good.
424
00:14:18,039 --> 00:14:19,841
-
I'm tearin'...up like never before
- Get up!
425
00:14:19,874 --> 00:14:21,010
-
Pimp slaps
- [Scoffs] Are you kidding?
426
00:14:21,020 --> 00:14:22,822
-
Makin' snaps
- No [bleep] No [bleep]
427
00:14:22,856 --> 00:14:25,726
Cold cash money and too short raps
428
00:14:25,759 --> 00:14:27,561
-
Oakland, California, that's where I'm from
- Mm.
429
00:14:27,593 --> 00:14:29,996
Ha, king me, b-hole!
430
00:14:30,029 --> 00:14:33,399
It's butthole [bleep] And I'm red.
431
00:14:33,433 --> 00:14:35,936
-
Don't stop, oh, no, we won't stop
- [Sighs]
432
00:14:38,672 --> 00:14:41,341
-
Check out my style
- I don't know, Ruby.
433
00:14:41,374 --> 00:14:44,378
I think this whole swearing
thing was a terrible idea.
434
00:14:44,410 --> 00:14:46,913
Show me one of your ideas
that wasn't terrible,
435
00:14:46,947 --> 00:14:49,249
and I'll show you an
idea that wasn't yours.
436
00:14:49,282 --> 00:14:50,353
Hey. Ha, yeah.
437
00:14:50,363 --> 00:14:51,831
I think I should shut it down.
438
00:14:51,864 --> 00:14:52,999
Well, here's your chance.
439
00:14:53,032 --> 00:14:54,435
- Hey.
- Hey.
440
00:14:54,468 --> 00:14:56,036
Sweetheart, we need to talk.
441
00:14:56,069 --> 00:14:57,171
[Scoffs] Agreed.
442
00:14:57,204 --> 00:15:00,174
My history teacher is
being a total [bleep]
443
00:15:00,206 --> 00:15:02,508
- She wouldn't give us an extra 10 minutes to...
- Wait a minute.
444
00:15:02,541 --> 00:15:07,647
Are you... sharing the
details of your day with me?
445
00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:10,216
I was about to...
until you made it weird.
446
00:15:10,249 --> 00:15:11,017
Oh.
447
00:15:11,050 --> 00:15:12,485
N... Oh, well.
448
00:15:12,518 --> 00:15:14,821
Diane, you have leaves
in your hair again.
449
00:15:14,854 --> 00:15:16,022
What's going on, baby?
450
00:15:16,055 --> 00:15:18,025
It's because Casey called
me her best friend
451
00:15:18,057 --> 00:15:19,025
in front of everyone.
452
00:15:19,059 --> 00:15:20,294
Friendship makes me look weak.
453
00:15:20,326 --> 00:15:21,327
- Oh.
- Oh.
454
00:15:21,361 --> 00:15:22,496
So I just had to drop her.
455
00:15:22,528 --> 00:15:23,463
Oh.
456
00:15:23,497 --> 00:15:24,732
That's... That's good to know.
457
00:15:24,765 --> 00:15:26,734
Thank you, sweetheart. Thank you.
458
00:15:26,767 --> 00:15:27,763
- [Chuckles]
- Bye, Mom.
459
00:15:27,773 --> 00:15:30,137
I was gonna tell you I'm
going to Seth's house,
460
00:15:30,147 --> 00:15:32,405
but I'm really going to
Megan's to fool around.
461
00:15:32,439 --> 00:15:34,974
- Okay.
- Don't worry... top stuff only.
462
00:15:35,007 --> 00:15:36,175
Only the top.
463
00:15:36,209 --> 00:15:37,044
[Chuckles] Okay.
464
00:15:37,076 --> 00:15:38,878
[Both laugh]
465
00:15:38,911 --> 00:15:40,012
Ruby, did you see that?
466
00:15:40,046 --> 00:15:43,050
My children are opening up to me.
467
00:15:43,060 --> 00:15:46,964
Only because you agreed to
my genius swearing idea.
468
00:15:46,997 --> 00:15:49,934
[Chuckles] You're welcome [bleep]
469
00:15:49,966 --> 00:15:52,202
Guilty.
470
00:15:52,235 --> 00:15:55,705
Since Antoine wasn't going
to get a jury of his peers,
471
00:15:55,739 --> 00:15:59,509
I had to make up for it by
being a jury of his peer.
472
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:00,811
Not guilty.
473
00:16:00,844 --> 00:16:03,314
And again we are stuck at 11 to 1.
474
00:16:03,346 --> 00:16:04,480
[Jury members groaning]
475
00:16:04,513 --> 00:16:07,618
11 to 1... again.
476
00:16:07,651 --> 00:16:09,006
[Groaning continues]
477
00:16:09,016 --> 00:16:10,806
Dre, we know it's you.
478
00:16:10,816 --> 00:16:12,590
Please don't keep us here all day.
479
00:16:14,023 --> 00:16:16,257
Okay. Fine.
480
00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:18,069
Let's say it's me.
481
00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:19,572
All right, n-now hear me out.
482
00:16:19,604 --> 00:16:22,640
After we closely look at both sides
483
00:16:22,674 --> 00:16:24,643
and you still think this kid is guilty,
484
00:16:24,675 --> 00:16:26,378
I will no longer hold you hostage,
485
00:16:26,411 --> 00:16:27,679
and vote guilty with you.
486
00:16:27,713 --> 00:16:29,515
That's okay.
487
00:16:29,548 --> 00:16:30,482
- Yeah?
- Why not?
488
00:16:30,516 --> 00:16:31,751
- Okay.
- Wait.
489
00:16:31,784 --> 00:16:33,852
Is he holding us hostage?
490
00:16:33,886 --> 00:16:36,421
491
00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:37,756
[Ding!]
492
00:16:37,790 --> 00:16:40,659
But it's pretty tough to
argue eyewitness testimony,
493
00:16:40,692 --> 00:16:41,694
don't you think?
494
00:16:41,727 --> 00:16:43,896
Yeah, you're right about that one.
495
00:16:43,929 --> 00:16:45,865
You know, why don't we just vote now
496
00:16:45,897 --> 00:16:47,899
so we can get home to our loved ones?
497
00:16:47,933 --> 00:16:50,338
- [Gasps] Beautiful family.
- Mm-hmm.
498
00:16:50,348 --> 00:16:51,216
Is that the Bahamas?
499
00:16:51,248 --> 00:16:53,817
Aha! That's not my family.
500
00:16:53,851 --> 00:16:56,321
That's not even me. That's Tyler Perry.
501
00:16:56,354 --> 00:16:58,189
All right, you just
confused two black people
502
00:16:58,221 --> 00:16:59,723
that don't even really look alike.
503
00:16:59,757 --> 00:17:02,527
504
00:17:02,559 --> 00:17:07,231
Well, what the hell was the kid
doing with $500 in his pocket
505
00:17:07,265 --> 00:17:09,066
when he doesn't even have car?
506
00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:11,136
- [Jury members agreeing]
- Come on.
507
00:17:11,169 --> 00:17:14,974
Man, I probably have
$2,500 in my pocket.
508
00:17:14,984 --> 00:17:16,721
Because I don't trust banks like that,
509
00:17:16,753 --> 00:17:18,121
after the financial crisis.
510
00:17:18,154 --> 00:17:19,757
I don't, either.
511
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:22,326
But look at the picture he
posted after the crime.
512
00:17:22,358 --> 00:17:24,294
He's wearing the stolen hoodie.
513
00:17:24,327 --> 00:17:25,162
[Jury members murmuring]
514
00:17:25,194 --> 00:17:27,097
#ComeUp.
515
00:17:28,865 --> 00:17:30,500
Okay, look, that could be n...
516
00:17:30,533 --> 00:17:32,235
I mean, that doesn't
necessarily mean that...
517
00:17:32,269 --> 00:17:33,804
- [Jury members grumbling]
- No, that's... that's enough already.
518
00:17:33,837 --> 00:17:35,439
Okay, look. Do we even have the right
519
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:37,074
to look at his photos like that?
520
00:17:37,106 --> 00:17:38,643
I mean, we don't even
have a search warrant.
521
00:17:38,675 --> 00:17:40,644
- Come on, guys.
- We don't need a warrant for that.
522
00:17:40,677 --> 00:17:43,079
Oh, Dre. We heard you out.
523
00:17:43,113 --> 00:17:45,149
And while the kid seems decent,
524
00:17:45,182 --> 00:17:48,519
I think we can all agree...
this is pretty damning evidence.
525
00:17:48,551 --> 00:17:50,087
- Yeah.
- Yeah, it is.
526
00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:51,955
Look, man, if you're
gonna commit a crime,
527
00:17:51,989 --> 00:17:54,125
be smart enough to make
your profile private.
528
00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:55,291
- Everyone....
- Man: Plain as day.
529
00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:57,028
This has been a long day.
530
00:17:57,060 --> 00:17:58,762
Why don't we just go sleep on it,
531
00:17:58,796 --> 00:18:00,364
and we'll vote first
thing in the morning?
532
00:18:00,396 --> 00:18:01,999
"Scandal" is one tonight.
533
00:18:02,031 --> 00:18:03,500
Let the kid watch one more "Scandal."
534
00:18:03,533 --> 00:18:06,102
- [Jury members agreeing]
- Woman: Sounds good.
535
00:18:06,135 --> 00:18:07,638
536
00:18:10,689 --> 00:18:14,517
Oh, check this out. And this is
a skirt I keep in my backpack
537
00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:16,252
to change into after you
drop me off at school.
538
00:18:16,284 --> 00:18:17,352
Oh, my God.
539
00:18:17,386 --> 00:18:19,088
- But that's so short.
- Mm-hmm.
540
00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:21,157
- I-I-I didn't buy you that.
- Oh, no.
541
00:18:21,189 --> 00:18:22,891
Sky stole it from the mall
while I stood lookout.
542
00:18:22,925 --> 00:18:23,893
It was so funny.
543
00:18:23,926 --> 00:18:26,162
Oh, my God!
544
00:18:26,195 --> 00:18:27,330
- Get out of my face.
- But...
545
00:18:27,362 --> 00:18:29,264
- No!
- What the [bleep] Mom?
546
00:18:29,298 --> 00:18:31,234
I'm just being honest with you.
547
00:18:31,266 --> 00:18:32,368
Ho... Okay.
548
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,035
This honesty is way too much.
549
00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:35,671
A half an hour ago,
550
00:18:35,704 --> 00:18:37,956
Junior told me why he goes
through so much lotion.
551
00:18:37,966 --> 00:18:39,435
Ugh! God!
552
00:18:39,467 --> 00:18:42,071
I do not want to know
my children this well.
553
00:18:42,103 --> 00:18:43,671
Well, then, you should've listened to me
554
00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:45,674
when I told you not to let them curse.
555
00:18:45,706 --> 00:18:47,575
What? But then you s...
556
00:18:47,609 --> 00:18:49,178
- Own it, Rainbow.
- I...
557
00:18:49,210 --> 00:18:50,912
I finally figured it out.
558
00:18:50,946 --> 00:18:53,014
- Oh.
- [Bleep]
559
00:18:53,047 --> 00:18:54,082
Boobies!
560
00:18:54,116 --> 00:18:55,376
Okay, okay. No, don't worry about it.
561
00:18:55,386 --> 00:18:57,185
I got this. Come here, little boy!
562
00:18:57,218 --> 00:18:59,321
Come here! I'll kill you!
563
00:18:59,353 --> 00:19:00,355
I'll kill you!
564
00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:01,686
So, I'd slept on it.
565
00:19:01,696 --> 00:19:04,198
And, yeah, Antoine was guilty.
566
00:19:04,232 --> 00:19:06,368
But I felt good that
at least I had fought
567
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,236
for him to have a fair trial,
568
00:19:08,268 --> 00:19:09,570
and that's something.
569
00:19:09,603 --> 00:19:11,072
Guilty.
570
00:19:11,104 --> 00:19:12,573
Not guilty?
571
00:19:12,607 --> 00:19:14,142
- [Jury members groaning]
- Again?
572
00:19:14,175 --> 00:19:15,844
For the love of God, Dre.
573
00:19:15,877 --> 00:19:17,412
- I don't want to die here.
- Man: Come on, Dre.
574
00:19:17,445 --> 00:19:18,513
But it wasn't me this time.
575
00:19:18,545 --> 00:19:20,081
No, seriously! I really mean it!
576
00:19:20,113 --> 00:19:21,149
It wasn't me!
577
00:19:21,181 --> 00:19:22,717
Hey, it was me.
578
00:19:22,749 --> 00:19:24,051
- What?
- What?
579
00:19:24,084 --> 00:19:26,254
And I'd like to take another
look at that hoodie, please.
580
00:19:26,286 --> 00:19:28,009
[Jury members groaning]
581
00:19:28,019 --> 00:19:30,189
Sorry, but last night,
I-I don't know what it was,
582
00:19:30,221 --> 00:19:31,323
but something made me feel
583
00:19:31,355 --> 00:19:33,191
like we hadn't given
this guy a fair shake
584
00:19:33,225 --> 00:19:36,428
and we needed to make sure we
didn't rush through our decision.
585
00:19:36,460 --> 00:19:39,297
Uh, that's what I said. Like, verbatim.
586
00:19:39,331 --> 00:19:41,367
Dre, please. Bernice has the floor.
587
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:42,801
- But...
- Bernice: I did some research online,
588
00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:45,470
and I found out this
particular Givenchy hoodie
589
00:19:45,504 --> 00:19:47,339
is from two seasons ago.
590
00:19:47,371 --> 00:19:50,109
There's no way the Givenchy
boutique would carry it.
591
00:19:50,141 --> 00:19:52,844
- Jerome is innocent.
- [Jury members agreeing]
592
00:19:52,878 --> 00:19:54,280
His name is Antoine!
593
00:19:54,313 --> 00:19:55,980
Bernice, you are a hero.
594
00:19:56,014 --> 00:19:58,050
- Well...
- You saved Jerome from jail.
595
00:19:58,083 --> 00:19:59,552
I'd hate to think what
would've happened to him
596
00:19:59,584 --> 00:20:01,653
if there hadn't been someone
looking out for that kid.
597
00:20:01,687 --> 00:20:03,889
But I saved An... Jerome.
598
00:20:03,921 --> 00:20:05,323
Show of hands. Not guilty?
599
00:20:05,356 --> 00:20:06,357
Come on.
600
00:20:06,390 --> 00:20:07,293
Really?
601
00:20:07,325 --> 00:20:09,327
Dre?
602
00:20:09,361 --> 00:20:10,462
Really, Dre?
603
00:20:10,495 --> 00:20:11,996
[Sighs]
604
00:20:12,029 --> 00:20:13,565
All right, I'll go tell the bailiff.
605
00:20:13,599 --> 00:20:16,335
And I'm gonna take you out for
a nice steak and Midori sour.
606
00:20:16,368 --> 00:20:17,903
[Jury members "Ooh"]
607
00:20:17,936 --> 00:20:19,205
[Laughs]
608
00:20:19,237 --> 00:20:21,506
But those are my favorite things.
609
00:20:21,540 --> 00:20:22,540
Score.
610
00:20:24,950 --> 00:20:28,071
What the [bleep] Mom? You're
supposed to dry my stuff on low heat
611
00:20:28,081 --> 00:20:29,850
- so this doesn't happen.
- My God.
612
00:20:29,883 --> 00:20:31,351
Oh, all right. Okay, sweetie.
613
00:20:31,383 --> 00:20:33,687
I'll... I'll know for next time!
614
00:20:33,719 --> 00:20:35,122
- Oh, my God.
- Hey.
615
00:20:35,154 --> 00:20:36,722
- How was school?
- I don't know.
616
00:20:36,756 --> 00:20:37,990
Oh. Okay.
617
00:20:38,024 --> 00:20:39,868
Oh! How's Megan?
618
00:20:39,878 --> 00:20:40,960
- Haven't seen her.
- Ah.
619
00:20:40,994 --> 00:20:43,563
[Scoffs] The lipstick on
his face says otherwise.
620
00:20:43,595 --> 00:20:44,964
Yes, it does.
621
00:20:44,998 --> 00:20:49,135
But if I have to choose
between Seth and them,
622
00:20:49,169 --> 00:20:51,069
I'm okay not knowing my kids.
623
00:20:51,079 --> 00:20:53,539
Oh, uh, then it's, um [chuckles]
624
00:20:53,573 --> 00:20:55,008
probably a bad time to tell you
625
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,710
that Diane is in a fight club.
626
00:20:57,744 --> 00:21:00,547
Yeah. [Scoffs]
627
00:21:00,597 --> 00:21:05,147
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