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1
00:00:00,300 --> 00:00:02,623
Fathers and sons, in the animal kingdom,
2
00:00:02,633 --> 00:00:04,644
the roles have always been pretty clear.
3
00:00:04,654 --> 00:00:08,370
Fathers are the Alpha male...
Strong, fierce, and in charge.
4
00:00:09,347 --> 00:00:13,220
Sons are the Beta male... Cute, cuddly,
5
00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:15,864
and easily smacked out of the way.
6
00:00:15,966 --> 00:00:18,700
But we humans are much
more evolved than that.
7
00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:19,968
Oh! We're our sons' teachers.
8
00:00:20,070 --> 00:00:21,870
What? Uh...
9
00:00:21,972 --> 00:00:23,672
[Laughs]
10
00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:25,207
Our sons' role model.
11
00:00:25,309 --> 00:00:26,341
[Gasps]
12
00:00:26,410 --> 00:00:27,509
Our sons' hero.
13
00:00:27,578 --> 00:00:29,478
Hey, what's going on, son?
14
00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:32,447
But there comes a time
in every dad's life
15
00:00:32,516 --> 00:00:36,348
when things begin to change.
16
00:00:36,744 --> 00:00:39,703
In the animal world,
when the boy starts to man up,
17
00:00:39,713 --> 00:00:40,856
there are two choices.
18
00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:44,626
The son can eat the father,
or the father can eat the son.
19
00:00:44,762 --> 00:00:46,566
Come on! Uh-huh!
20
00:00:46,576 --> 00:00:48,096
Ah, get that out of here, boy!
21
00:00:48,199 --> 00:00:49,598
Gonna have to do better than that, son.
22
00:00:49,700 --> 00:00:51,099
You gonna have to better
than that at my house.
23
00:00:51,202 --> 00:00:53,615
But when it happens in our world,
24
00:00:53,625 --> 00:00:55,070
things aren't that simple.
25
00:00:55,139 --> 00:00:56,972
Come on, what you got?
Oh, you coming in the house.
26
00:00:57,074 --> 00:00:59,541
Oh, you coming in the house. [Groans]
27
00:00:59,643 --> 00:01:01,009
Ow!
28
00:01:01,111 --> 00:01:02,711
Gah!
29
00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:04,179
What?!
30
00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:05,914
Oh! Oh!
31
00:01:06,016 --> 00:01:07,115
Ha!
32
00:01:07,218 --> 00:01:08,317
Oh!
33
00:01:08,419 --> 00:01:10,719
Oh, oh!
34
00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,421
Oh!
35
00:01:12,523 --> 00:01:15,057
- [Both grunt]
- It was at this moment
36
00:01:15,159 --> 00:01:19,228
I knew I had no other
choice but to eat my son.
37
00:01:19,330 --> 00:01:20,762
Foul.
38
00:01:20,865 --> 00:01:23,977
Synced and corrected by johnyd13
~ www.addic7ed.com ~
39
00:01:25,870 --> 00:01:27,603
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
40
00:01:27,705 --> 00:01:30,496
Yes, YouTube Tuesday.
What we watching? Huh?
41
00:01:30,506 --> 00:01:32,147
Dogs dragging their butts on the ground?
42
00:01:32,157 --> 00:01:34,243
Oh, even better... Your demise as a man.
43
00:01:34,345 --> 00:01:35,944
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
44
00:01:36,046 --> 00:01:37,145
Connor: This is trending on Twitter.
45
00:01:37,248 --> 00:01:39,114
The real one, not the
black one "Empire" owns.
46
00:01:39,216 --> 00:01:40,549
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
47
00:01:40,651 --> 00:01:41,683
Oh, look at that.
48
00:01:41,785 --> 00:01:44,019
- Testes!
- Charlie: Oh, this is bad.
49
00:01:44,121 --> 00:01:45,487
You can actually see the moment
50
00:01:45,589 --> 00:01:47,413
when Junior loses all
respect for his father.
51
00:01:47,423 --> 00:01:49,258
- Yeah...
- Charlie, I'm right here.
52
00:01:49,774 --> 00:01:51,905
Oh, I'm sorry, Dre.
I didn't recognize you
53
00:01:51,915 --> 00:01:53,428
without Junior's testicles in your face.
54
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:54,596
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
55
00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:56,868
Outstanding. He's humiliated!
56
00:01:56,878 --> 00:01:59,049
All right, the boy got lucky
and dunked on me once.
57
00:01:59,059 --> 00:02:00,045
All right, not a big deal.
58
00:02:00,147 --> 00:02:01,213
[Knock on door]
59
00:02:01,315 --> 00:02:02,881
Looking for an Andre Johnson.
60
00:02:02,891 --> 00:02:03,971
Right here.
61
00:02:03,981 --> 00:02:05,649
I have a gift from Andre Jr.
62
00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:07,515
Oh. You see that?
63
00:02:08,264 --> 00:02:11,014
Probably apologizing
for posting that video.
64
00:02:11,722 --> 00:02:12,972
"Dear Dad,
65
00:02:12,982 --> 00:02:15,300
I know how much you like to eat nuts."
66
00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:17,403
[Laughter]
67
00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:20,506
- Bon app?tit.
- That kid is special.
68
00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:23,900
Look, my son is not special, all right?
69
00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:25,458
He's just going through
a phase right now
70
00:02:25,468 --> 00:02:27,252
where he's trying to assert himself.
71
00:02:27,262 --> 00:02:28,981
I'm going through the
same thing with my son.
72
00:02:29,083 --> 00:02:30,416
Trying to man up on me.
73
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,351
Always asking me for lunch money.
74
00:02:32,420 --> 00:02:34,383
Bugging me for a mattress.
75
00:02:34,393 --> 00:02:37,322
Vaccines, shoes that fit, love.
76
00:02:39,817 --> 00:02:41,126
Love is what he really wants.
77
00:02:41,136 --> 00:02:42,494
Okay, you know what?
78
00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:44,340
Halloween is coming up.
79
00:02:44,595 --> 00:02:47,458
And I'm gonna show him
who's smarter, stronger,
80
00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,289
and the most terrifying.
81
00:02:49,299 --> 00:02:51,703
I am the prank king, remember?
82
00:02:51,806 --> 00:02:53,505
Come meet your new cousin, Colton.
83
00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:56,775
Aunt Jill says be very careful
when you hold him, all right?
84
00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:58,544
- [Screaming]
- [Laughs]
85
00:02:58,646 --> 00:03:00,704
You thought you killed a baby!
86
00:03:00,714 --> 00:03:02,815
Bam! Oh, we kicked the baby!
87
00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:05,551
Sulu can't be here.
Where's his line of fire?
88
00:03:05,653 --> 00:03:06,552
Think!
89
00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:08,320
- [Sighs]
- [Dre growling]
90
00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:09,321
[Screams]
91
00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:11,323
Chair monster! Chair monster!
92
00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:12,483
[Dre laughs]
93
00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:14,493
You know, all I've got to do
is get inside Junior's head
94
00:03:14,503 --> 00:03:15,994
and terrorize him a little bit.
95
00:03:16,097 --> 00:03:18,497
And bam! I'm back on top.
96
00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:19,628
[Both chuckle]
97
00:03:19,638 --> 00:03:21,700
Boy, I can't remember the
last time I had nuts.
98
00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:24,576
Uh, that is because you
are deathly allergic.
99
00:03:24,586 --> 00:03:27,406
That's why this office is nut-free zone.
100
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,675
- Unlike Dre's forehead!
- Unlike Dre's forehead!
101
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,043
U-Unlike Dre's forehead!
102
00:03:31,145 --> 00:03:32,744
Damn it, I was right there.
103
00:03:32,847 --> 00:03:35,297
- Hmm.
- Josh: Sorry.
104
00:03:35,307 --> 00:03:37,087
- Hmm.
- [Doorbell rings]
105
00:03:38,121 --> 00:03:39,248
Hey. Oh, my.
106
00:03:39,258 --> 00:03:41,954
Happy almost Halloween!
107
00:03:42,056 --> 00:03:42,988
[Laughs]
108
00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:44,811
Guess who I am.
109
00:03:44,821 --> 00:03:47,493
- I...
- Bee-yonc?.
110
00:03:48,114 --> 00:03:50,421
- Beyonc?.
- I see.
111
00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:52,736
And are you wearing...?
112
00:03:52,746 --> 00:03:55,162
Oh, no, no, bronzer.
This is not blackface.
113
00:03:55,172 --> 00:03:56,916
You are the second person
to ask me that, though.
114
00:03:56,926 --> 00:03:59,828
- [Chuckles] No, it's not blackface.
- Good.
115
00:03:59,838 --> 00:04:02,141
So besides you coming over here
116
00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:03,709
and daring me to slap you...
117
00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:05,210
[Both laugh]
118
00:04:05,220 --> 00:04:06,812
is there any other
reason you stopped by?
119
00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:09,448
Yes. Last Halloween, remember,
got a little hectic, you know,
120
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,520
with all the others coming
into our neighborhood.
121
00:04:11,530 --> 00:04:13,811
So this year, I thought
we just lock it down
122
00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:15,888
and just host a mischief night.
123
00:04:15,990 --> 00:04:17,389
And what is mischief night?
124
00:04:17,491 --> 00:04:20,459
Well, it's a slightly naughty tradition
on the night before Halloween,
125
00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:22,594
where we encourage teens and tweens
126
00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:26,698
to blow off a little steam in a...
a safe, controlled,
127
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,014
and non-urban way.
128
00:04:29,024 --> 00:04:30,169
Ruby: Excellent idea!
129
00:04:30,237 --> 00:04:31,470
Wait, what?
130
00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:35,541
I just watched a fascinating
documentary about this.
131
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:39,011
The one night a year
where all crime is legal,
132
00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:43,057
where its citizens can
release all the demons
133
00:04:43,067 --> 00:04:44,983
- pent up inside them.
- Uh, Ruby.
134
00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:47,986
- Mm.
- That's a movie called "The Purge."
135
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:50,155
Great name for it, Rainbow.
136
00:04:50,224 --> 00:04:51,290
Oh, no, it's a...
137
00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:54,293
What's this neighborhood
needs is a good purge.
138
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:55,694
Cool, I want to purge.
139
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,449
Mm-hmm. I've dreamed of purging.
140
00:04:57,459 --> 00:04:59,798
Okay, no... no purging and no dreaming.
141
00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:02,634
Go back upstairs, and I will
call you when dinner's ready.
142
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:04,069
Janine, just let yourself out.
143
00:05:04,079 --> 00:05:05,129
- Oh, oh.
- Yeah.
144
00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:06,505
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
145
00:05:06,574 --> 00:05:07,604
- Yeah, okay.
- Mnh-mnh-mnh.
146
00:05:07,614 --> 00:05:09,341
See, see, all those rules.
147
00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:10,909
Those kids are gonna snap.
148
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:12,411
See, in my experience,
149
00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:15,247
a little release works
wonders for the community.
150
00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:17,115
The day after the Watts riots
151
00:05:17,218 --> 00:05:19,084
was the most peaceful day of the year
152
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:21,520
because the devil came out
153
00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:24,654
and freshly looted Kenmores came in.
154
00:05:24,664 --> 00:05:27,392
Okay. I... I'm just not sure
that's right for mischief night.
155
00:05:27,402 --> 00:05:28,393
It's settled then.
156
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:31,463
- Oh.
- A neighborhood purge!
157
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:36,702
- I'm Ruby, by the way.
- Hi. Janine. Uh...
158
00:05:37,699 --> 00:05:40,405
- Can I touch your hair?
- Ooh.
159
00:05:42,585 --> 00:05:43,634
Don't do that.
160
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:45,544
That night, I got my first taste
161
00:05:45,613 --> 00:05:48,413
of a world where Junior
wasn't afraid of me anymore,
162
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,949
and that was not a world
I wanted to live in.
163
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:52,117
Hey.
164
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:54,686
You get that package I sent you?
165
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,498
Uh-huh.
166
00:05:57,441 --> 00:05:59,258
- It was very amusing.
- Amusing?
167
00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:00,792
It was hilarious.
168
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:03,328
And I say that with no ego.
169
00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:04,830
[Laughs] Get a load of this kid.
170
00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:06,431
Rainbow: Babe,
can you get the salad bowl?
171
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,115
- Sure.
- Thank you.
172
00:06:08,636 --> 00:06:10,902
[Sighs]
173
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:13,807
Who put the large bowl
all the way up top?
174
00:06:13,817 --> 00:06:15,693
Oh, is that high?
175
00:06:17,612 --> 00:06:19,478
I can't even tell anymore.
176
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:21,179
Here you go, little guy.
177
00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:23,949
[Rainbow laughs] Like
a regular Dane Cook.
178
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,651
Yeah, that's not a compliment, Bow.
179
00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:27,185
We've gone through this, okay?
180
00:06:27,288 --> 00:06:30,889
I can't believe you
like this new Junior.
181
00:06:30,899 --> 00:06:33,592
- It's cute!
- Wow, Mom. When you smile,
182
00:06:33,661 --> 00:06:36,662
you have these adorable folds
on the side of your mouth.
183
00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:38,030
Hmm.
184
00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:39,298
Crush him.
185
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,533
Already ahead of you.
186
00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:43,335
Plan is in motion.
187
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:44,569
Junior.
188
00:06:44,672 --> 00:06:47,406
You know that, uh,
that basket you sent was clever.
189
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:49,908
Yeah. You know, but some
people are allergic to nuts,
190
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,743
so you could have really hurt someone.
191
00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:53,254
[Laughs]
192
00:06:54,408 --> 00:06:56,915
A lot of people are allergic to peanuts.
193
00:06:56,925 --> 00:06:59,677
You could have really
hurt someone. [Laughs]
194
00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:01,586
- [Organ plays]
- Charlie Telphy.
195
00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:05,057
Beloved father, middling employee...
196
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:06,491
Killed by nuts.
197
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:07,659
[Woman crying]
198
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,928
Can't believe this is happening.
199
00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:12,030
Oh, son. It's not your fault.
200
00:07:13,215 --> 00:07:14,933
Well, yes, it is.
201
00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:17,736
- What?
- This is insane.
202
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:19,137
Look, you don't get it.
203
00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:21,273
This is between father and son, okay?
204
00:07:21,375 --> 00:07:24,567
Junior is testing me,
and I must eat him.
205
00:07:24,577 --> 00:07:27,927
So mind your business because
this is my Sixteen Chapel.
206
00:07:29,990 --> 00:07:33,151
Did you just say "Sixteen Chapel"?
207
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:36,188
Bow, a man has died.
208
00:07:37,066 --> 00:07:39,358
Can I just say I love
what you're doing here?
209
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:41,093
Oh, thank you, Zoey.
210
00:07:41,195 --> 00:07:43,729
How much are we paying for all this?
211
00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:45,134
Nothing.
212
00:07:45,301 --> 00:07:48,351
Josh... he volunteered to
pay for the whole thing.
213
00:07:48,472 --> 00:07:50,074
[Gasps]
214
00:07:50,084 --> 00:07:52,552
I never told Josh this isn't real.
215
00:07:52,562 --> 00:07:53,972
- Oh, my God.
- [Sobbing, sniffling]
216
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:57,203
Why do you always take the good ones?
217
00:08:01,415 --> 00:08:03,277
Why are you smiling?
218
00:08:03,287 --> 00:08:05,517
You know Charlie's not
really dead, right?
219
00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:06,685
Yeah.
220
00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:07,986
But one day...
221
00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:09,354
Stevens: At this point,
we'd like to invite anyone
222
00:08:09,423 --> 00:08:12,573
- to come forward and pay their respects.
- One day.
223
00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:15,327
Hey, man, how you doing?
224
00:08:15,429 --> 00:08:17,423
A little emotional.
225
00:08:17,433 --> 00:08:20,298
A lot of people came
out to say goodbye to me.
226
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:21,800
I don't see my parents, though.
227
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:24,035
But in all fairness,
I didn't go to theirs neither.
228
00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:26,544
Ooh, look at that big-booty
girl over there crying.
229
00:08:26,554 --> 00:08:27,583
Where?
230
00:08:27,593 --> 00:08:29,441
Now would be my chance if I wasn't dead.
231
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:30,642
[Chuckles]
232
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:32,210
I'm not dead, right?
233
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:33,412
Ch... Shh, shh.
234
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:34,884
Here come Junior.
235
00:08:34,894 --> 00:08:37,000
Hold your breath. Hold your breath.
236
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:44,729
I don't feel so good.
237
00:08:46,139 --> 00:08:48,261
You know, that's exactly
what Charlie said
238
00:08:48,271 --> 00:08:51,430
before he closed his eyes forever.
239
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:52,998
Gonna miss you, Charlie.
240
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:55,367
Let's let him rest in peace, son.
241
00:08:56,608 --> 00:08:57,884
You killed me.
242
00:08:57,894 --> 00:09:00,451
[Eerie music plays]
243
00:09:00,461 --> 00:09:02,174
- You didn't hear?
- Hear what?
244
00:09:03,846 --> 00:09:05,644
Son, it's okay. Let's go.
245
00:09:08,518 --> 00:09:09,781
- Oh.
- Hi, guys.
246
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,516
Mischief night starts in five minutes.
247
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:13,618
I wanted to make sure
you got your reflectors,
248
00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:15,331
your time-out whistles.
249
00:09:15,341 --> 00:09:16,548
Hard pass, Janine.
250
00:09:16,558 --> 00:09:18,989
Yeah, if they end up at
the top of a clock tower,
251
00:09:18,999 --> 00:09:20,091
don't call me.
252
00:09:20,194 --> 00:09:21,893
I will not call you.
253
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:23,728
Attention, neighbors!
254
00:09:23,831 --> 00:09:25,968
The purge has officially begun!
255
00:09:25,978 --> 00:09:28,130
- What?
- For the next 12 hours,
256
00:09:28,140 --> 00:09:29,868
all crime is legal.
257
00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:32,270
No, I don't... I don't mean
to quibble. Not crime.
258
00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:34,139
It's just some mischief.
259
00:09:34,208 --> 00:09:37,409
Your neighborhood thanks
you for you participation.
260
00:09:37,511 --> 00:09:40,045
This is crazy!
261
00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:43,315
262
00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:49,454
[ Growling]
263
00:09:50,574 --> 00:09:52,824
- Wait.
- Zoey, do you see that?
264
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,598
Dude, there's nothing there.
265
00:09:55,889 --> 00:09:58,663
I think you're starting to lose it.
266
00:10:00,584 --> 00:10:02,033
Ice cold.
267
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:03,201
Well-played.
268
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,737
Please let me do more.
I love hurting him.
269
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:08,106
I'm going in.
270
00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:11,083
Hey, son.
271
00:10:11,471 --> 00:10:14,012
Uh, why aren't you outside purging?
272
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,581
Wasn't really feeling up for it.
273
00:10:16,591 --> 00:10:17,816
Oh, yeah.
274
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:20,221
I guess it would be kind of hard
275
00:10:20,231 --> 00:10:21,520
trying to have some fun out there
276
00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:25,448
when you know that Charlie
will never have fun again.
277
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,850
Eustace, either.
278
00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:29,544
You know, since you took
his father away from him.
279
00:10:29,554 --> 00:10:31,463
Ah, it's okay, son.
280
00:10:31,565 --> 00:10:33,832
Try to get you some sleep, little guy.
281
00:10:35,804 --> 00:10:37,502
Sleep tight.
282
00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:39,771
283
00:10:40,418 --> 00:10:43,554
- [Laughs] We got him.
- Epic.
284
00:10:43,564 --> 00:10:44,797
I haven't seen someone that scared
285
00:10:44,865 --> 00:10:47,105
since that Asian lady dropped
what I thought was her gun.
286
00:10:47,493 --> 00:10:49,898
Lady, stop. Don't run.
287
00:10:49,908 --> 00:10:52,265
I don't want to follow you
all the way home, but I will.
288
00:10:52,275 --> 00:10:54,776
Stop. Stop, girl.
289
00:10:54,786 --> 00:10:55,874
Turns out it was my gun.
290
00:10:55,943 --> 00:10:59,187
Well, your gun game is shaky,
but your ghost game is on point.
291
00:10:59,197 --> 00:11:00,891
- [Both laugh]
- Thanks.
292
00:11:00,901 --> 00:11:02,367
- But just to be clear...
- Mm-hmm.
293
00:11:02,377 --> 00:11:03,768
I'm not really dead, right?
294
00:11:03,837 --> 00:11:04,736
Uh...
295
00:11:04,838 --> 00:11:06,686
no, Charlie.
296
00:11:06,696 --> 00:11:07,872
- You're good.
- [Chuckles]
297
00:11:07,975 --> 00:11:09,841
Just double-checking. [Sighs]
298
00:11:09,910 --> 00:11:12,243
I'm having a blast. Not confused at all.
299
00:11:12,312 --> 00:11:14,012
So glad I agreed to do this.
300
00:11:14,114 --> 00:11:16,042
- Junior: Hey, Dad? I was...
- [Grunts]
301
00:11:16,052 --> 00:11:17,496
Hey, son, how are you?
302
00:11:17,506 --> 00:11:20,318
Uh, I think Charlie's
ghost is haunting me.
303
00:11:20,420 --> 00:11:22,522
Hey, hey, little man.
304
00:11:22,532 --> 00:11:25,219
There's no such thing as ghosts, okay?
305
00:11:25,229 --> 00:11:28,041
It's... it's probably just
your guilty conscience.
306
00:11:28,051 --> 00:11:29,799
- [Exhales sharply]
- But you'll get over it.
307
00:11:29,809 --> 00:11:31,329
- Thanks, Dad.
- Or not.
308
00:11:32,005 --> 00:11:33,565
Hey, sweet dreams...
309
00:11:34,019 --> 00:11:36,601
- killer.
- [Exhales sharply]
310
00:11:38,972 --> 00:11:40,372
How long I got to keep doing this?
311
00:11:40,474 --> 00:11:41,873
Until the next part of my plan,
312
00:11:41,975 --> 00:11:44,743
where I capture his
humiliation on video.
313
00:11:44,845 --> 00:11:46,611
That way, it's forever.
314
00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:48,666
Just like death.
315
00:11:48,763 --> 00:11:51,182
Which hasn't yet come for me,
just confirming.
316
00:11:51,284 --> 00:11:52,183
Huh?
317
00:11:52,285 --> 00:11:53,285
Not yet.
318
00:11:54,226 --> 00:11:56,032
Not yet or never?
319
00:11:56,042 --> 00:11:57,301
Hey, guys.
320
00:11:57,311 --> 00:11:59,858
I was thinking we could
have our own mischief night
321
00:11:59,926 --> 00:12:01,993
and have breakfast for dinner.
322
00:12:02,003 --> 00:12:03,895
Wha...
323
00:12:03,997 --> 00:12:05,030
What?
324
00:12:05,098 --> 00:12:08,317
"Dear Mom, we're
sleeping under our beds.
325
00:12:08,327 --> 00:12:09,567
Don't check.
326
00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:12,303
Do not go looking for us in the purge."
327
00:12:12,372 --> 00:12:13,571
Damn it.
328
00:12:13,674 --> 00:12:16,074
[Rock music plays]
329
00:12:16,176 --> 00:12:19,978
330
00:12:20,734 --> 00:12:23,415
Okay. I'm a little scared.
331
00:12:23,483 --> 00:12:24,382
Don't be.
332
00:12:24,484 --> 00:12:26,317
I was born for this.
333
00:12:26,420 --> 00:12:28,853
We're approaching my destiny.
334
00:12:28,955 --> 00:12:31,456
Yes, yes, citizens! Good work!
335
00:12:31,558 --> 00:12:33,992
[Laughs] Now I want you to dig deeper.
336
00:12:34,061 --> 00:12:36,461
Has your neighbor been
parking on our your driveway?
337
00:12:36,563 --> 00:12:39,364
Does you husband spend too much time
338
00:12:39,466 --> 00:12:41,800
watching the neighbor lady swim?
339
00:12:41,902 --> 00:12:44,602
Okay, Ruby, that's a little bit
more than I... I bargained for.
340
00:12:44,705 --> 00:12:47,005
Is there any way you can
help me shut this down?
341
00:12:47,107 --> 00:12:48,073
Absolutely. Okay.
342
00:12:48,175 --> 00:12:49,074
Uh-huh.
343
00:12:49,176 --> 00:12:50,675
Aah!
344
00:12:50,777 --> 00:12:53,011
That's my mailbox!
345
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:57,015
Did your neighbor ask
to touch your hair?
346
00:12:57,117 --> 00:12:58,283
Yeah!
347
00:12:58,351 --> 00:13:01,219
Tonight, we settle all scores!
348
00:13:01,288 --> 00:13:02,520
[Bat clatters] [Laughs]
349
00:13:02,622 --> 00:13:04,522
Now take your pound of flesh!
350
00:13:04,624 --> 00:13:08,293
- [Laughs]
- [Cheers and applause]
351
00:13:09,357 --> 00:13:10,862
All right. Come on, you got this.
352
00:13:10,931 --> 00:13:12,163
This harness will hold me, right?
353
00:13:12,265 --> 00:13:13,298
Of course, probably.
354
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:14,599
Oh, hey, Zoey. Hey.
355
00:13:14,701 --> 00:13:15,734
Make sure you capture
356
00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:17,569
your brother's humiliated
face, all right?
357
00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:19,938
Got it. Again, love hurting him.
358
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:22,006
- You know, you're a great dad.
- All right.
359
00:13:22,109 --> 00:13:25,276
[Gasps] I forgot to pick up
Eustace from soccer practice.
360
00:13:25,378 --> 00:13:27,412
[Animal howls]
361
00:13:27,481 --> 00:13:28,780
[Laughter in distance]
362
00:13:28,882 --> 00:13:30,014
Dad?
363
00:13:30,117 --> 00:13:32,083
You know, I'm sure he's
gonna be all right, Charlie.
364
00:13:32,185 --> 00:13:33,618
Come on, let's get you into position.
365
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:34,719
Come on, hurry up, man.
366
00:13:34,821 --> 00:13:36,454
Don't be nervous, I got this. Come on.
367
00:13:36,556 --> 00:13:40,191
[Heavy-metal music playing]
368
00:13:45,899 --> 00:13:48,533
Oh, I'm-a go steal those roses
to bring to my teacher tomorrow.
369
00:13:48,602 --> 00:13:49,601
[Chuckles] Cool.
370
00:13:49,703 --> 00:13:51,770
I'm gonna make those people homeless.
371
00:13:51,838 --> 00:13:52,871
372
00:13:52,973 --> 00:13:55,507
Hey! You stop that right now!
373
00:13:55,609 --> 00:13:57,108
This purge is over for you two!
374
00:13:57,210 --> 00:13:59,010
We are going home now!
375
00:13:59,112 --> 00:14:00,311
[Gasps] Oh!
376
00:14:00,413 --> 00:14:02,280
Okay. All right.
377
00:14:02,382 --> 00:14:03,948
Okay. You have paintball guns.
378
00:14:04,050 --> 00:14:05,717
Well, we have a home to get to.
379
00:14:05,786 --> 00:14:09,020
We are taking a little
purge time-out, okay?
380
00:14:09,122 --> 00:14:10,021
No, no.
381
00:14:10,123 --> 00:14:11,256
Hey!
382
00:14:11,358 --> 00:14:14,859
We have opted out of the purge!
383
00:14:14,928 --> 00:14:17,962
I demand safe passage!
384
00:14:18,732 --> 00:14:19,931
Ohh!
385
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,067
[Distorted] This is cashmere!
386
00:14:23,170 --> 00:14:24,269
387
00:14:24,371 --> 00:14:26,037
Oh.
388
00:14:26,139 --> 00:14:28,973
You listen here, you little [bleep]
389
00:14:29,075 --> 00:14:31,009
I am gonna [bleep] slap you so hard
390
00:14:31,111 --> 00:14:32,277
that your [bleep]
391
00:14:32,379 --> 00:14:34,646
are gonna be bleeding
out of your [bleep]
392
00:14:34,714 --> 00:14:35,889
Give me this!
393
00:14:35,899 --> 00:14:36,965
Get out of here!
394
00:14:37,067 --> 00:14:38,132
Good lord, Mommy!
395
00:14:38,234 --> 00:14:40,301
Doesn't it feel good to purge?
396
00:14:40,403 --> 00:14:42,704
It's like... your skin is dancing.
397
00:14:42,839 --> 00:14:44,205
Okay, I am worried about you.
398
00:14:44,274 --> 00:14:45,506
Let's go. Let's go home.
399
00:14:45,609 --> 00:14:47,108
- You stay close to me.
- Can I have the gun?
400
00:14:47,210 --> 00:14:48,176
No, you can't have the gun.
401
00:14:48,278 --> 00:14:49,377
- Can I have the Molotov?
- No!
402
00:14:49,446 --> 00:14:50,445
Come on, son.
403
00:14:50,547 --> 00:14:52,046
You can't keep hiding
like this, all right?
404
00:14:52,148 --> 00:14:55,049
You need to be around people...
Living people.
405
00:14:55,118 --> 00:14:57,151
All right? Let's watch a movie.
406
00:14:57,220 --> 00:14:58,953
What about "Ghost Dad"?
407
00:14:59,022 --> 00:15:01,255
[Screams]
408
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,375
[Groans]
409
00:15:05,385 --> 00:15:06,423
[Laughs]
410
00:15:06,433 --> 00:15:09,593
We got you, and we got it all on video!
411
00:15:09,603 --> 00:15:12,037
- [Groans]
- And it's posted.
412
00:15:12,047 --> 00:15:14,839
We got you, sucker!
413
00:15:14,941 --> 00:15:17,309
Wait, this was all a prank?
414
00:15:17,377 --> 00:15:20,778
Yep, and I'm not really dead. Right?
415
00:15:20,788 --> 00:15:24,164
The prank king has put you back
in your place, little guy.
416
00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:25,757
Now, come on. Get up
and show me some love.
417
00:15:25,767 --> 00:15:26,909
Ow. I can't.
418
00:15:26,919 --> 00:15:28,756
Come on, boy, quit playing.
Get up, show me some love.
419
00:15:28,766 --> 00:15:31,651
Ow! Stop. My leg really hurts.
420
00:15:31,661 --> 00:15:34,779
Ow. What's happening? What...
why are you kicking him?
421
00:15:34,789 --> 00:15:36,894
He, uh... he fell down the stairs.
422
00:15:36,904 --> 00:15:38,404
That doesn't answer my question.
423
00:15:38,506 --> 00:15:40,706
- Oh, it hurts so bad.
- Oh, my God. Don't move, sweetheart.
424
00:15:40,808 --> 00:15:42,373
Don't move, don't move, don't move.
425
00:15:42,383 --> 00:15:43,687
Let me just see. Ah!
426
00:15:43,697 --> 00:15:46,587
Oh, God. Okay, you know what? I think
your leg might be broken, sweetheart.
427
00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:47,380
[Sighs]
428
00:15:47,482 --> 00:15:50,049
[Scoffs] Sure.
Bow, his leg might be broken.
429
00:15:50,151 --> 00:15:51,550
[Groans]
430
00:15:51,653 --> 00:15:53,019
His leg is definitely broken.
431
00:15:53,121 --> 00:15:54,086
- [Radio chatter]
- What?
432
00:15:54,188 --> 00:15:55,821
Sweetheart, we'll be
right behind you, okay?
433
00:15:55,923 --> 00:15:56,822
Come on, guys.
434
00:15:56,924 --> 00:15:58,216
Hey, before you... Can someone...
435
00:15:58,226 --> 00:15:59,673
Someone close the door, please.
436
00:15:59,683 --> 00:16:00,980
Yeah, I got you.
437
00:16:00,990 --> 00:16:02,495
They can't hear me because I'm dead.
438
00:16:02,597 --> 00:16:03,529
[Door closes]
439
00:16:03,631 --> 00:16:05,546
Ugh, I knew it.
440
00:16:05,556 --> 00:16:07,793
Dre didn't know what
he was talking about.
441
00:16:08,744 --> 00:16:09,879
As you can see,
442
00:16:09,947 --> 00:16:12,322
he suffered a hairline
fracture to his left ankle
443
00:16:12,332 --> 00:16:15,482
and a spiral fracture to
his right fibula and tibia.
444
00:16:15,492 --> 00:16:17,315
Sorry. That's, uh...
445
00:16:17,325 --> 00:16:19,109
That's definitely from the stairs, huh?
446
00:16:19,119 --> 00:16:22,046
- What?
- Not, uh, not pre-existing condition?
447
00:16:22,114 --> 00:16:24,615
I mean, it could be from
when you kicked me.
448
00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:26,216
I didn't... I didn't...
449
00:16:27,127 --> 00:16:29,820
Mr. Johnson, can I
speak with you outside?
450
00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:31,689
Uh, can't we talk right here?
451
00:16:31,757 --> 00:16:33,157
Legally, I need to...
452
00:16:33,225 --> 00:16:34,958
isolate you from the victim.
453
00:16:35,061 --> 00:16:37,161
Uh... The vi...
454
00:16:38,197 --> 00:16:39,863
I'm going to jail.
455
00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:43,067
- You should. You're a bad person.
- I...
456
00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:45,436
I just need to get some of the
particulars of the incident.
457
00:16:45,446 --> 00:16:46,904
I'll get your son's version next.
458
00:16:46,914 --> 00:16:48,338
Oh, you ain't gonna need to talk to him.
459
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:50,140
He's just gonna be doubling up
on what you're about to hear.
460
00:16:50,209 --> 00:16:52,075
Which is?
461
00:16:52,603 --> 00:16:54,211
Okay.
462
00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:57,247
It started with a salad
bowl on the high shelf.
463
00:16:57,316 --> 00:16:59,983
They were literally in my face.
464
00:17:00,086 --> 00:17:01,585
Resting on my forehead.
465
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:02,920
So I told him he killed a man.
466
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,421
Eustace never got picked up from soccer.
467
00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:05,622
Did I want him to fail? Yes!
468
00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:07,458
Daddy trouts eat their sons.
469
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,159
A lot of people say "Sixteen Chapel."
470
00:17:09,261 --> 00:17:12,706
And I was only kicking him
because I thought he was lying.
471
00:17:12,847 --> 00:17:15,999
Well, Mr. Johnson, it's clear
you're not an abusive father.
472
00:17:16,102 --> 00:17:18,569
- Mm.
- You're just a short, petty man.
473
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:19,608
Yes!
474
00:17:19,618 --> 00:17:21,371
Your son still has
two broken legs, you know.
475
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:23,040
Yes.
476
00:17:23,142 --> 00:17:25,142
477
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:29,176
Jack, I was going to
drink this orange juice,
478
00:17:29,186 --> 00:17:30,981
but would you care for it?
479
00:17:31,083 --> 00:17:33,417
Only if you take half my bagel...
480
00:17:33,519 --> 00:17:34,485
The bigger half.
481
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:36,153
Aww, thank you, brother.
482
00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:38,541
I haven't asked you in a while, but...
483
00:17:38,551 --> 00:17:39,890
how are you?
484
00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:41,725
You know, balls and strikes.
485
00:17:41,827 --> 00:17:43,627
- Mm-hmm.
- Are you seeing this?
486
00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:46,630
The kids are being... not themselves.
487
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:47,731
It's crazy.
488
00:17:47,741 --> 00:17:52,669
It's like your purge
made them better people.
489
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:54,805
I hate to say this. [Chuckles]
490
00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:56,473
I think you were right.
491
00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:58,442
- The hell I was.
- What?
492
00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:00,911
Turns out they don't
have purge insurance.
493
00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:02,709
You mess with my mailbox? Huh?
494
00:18:02,719 --> 00:18:04,982
It's Mommy's turn to play!
495
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,383
- What?
- [Laughs]
496
00:18:06,452 --> 00:18:09,086
No, no, no! Not my Benz!
497
00:18:09,188 --> 00:18:10,287
Mischief night!
498
00:18:10,389 --> 00:18:11,971
I'm gonna kill you.
499
00:18:12,315 --> 00:18:13,857
Why didn't you stop me, Rainbow?
500
00:18:13,867 --> 00:18:16,126
You knew this wasn't a good idea.
501
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:17,327
502
00:18:17,396 --> 00:18:18,495
Such a doormat.
503
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:21,832
Well, I told you a bunch
of times this was crazy.
504
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:23,867
I said, "This is crazy."
505
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:27,304
[Sighs]
506
00:18:28,758 --> 00:18:30,246
Dre: Hey, buddy.
507
00:18:30,256 --> 00:18:32,042
I know you been out here a while.
508
00:18:32,052 --> 00:18:34,044
You don't want to come inside
and put on your costume?
509
00:18:34,054 --> 00:18:35,212
I tried.
510
00:18:35,314 --> 00:18:36,847
And I got it over one cast,
511
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,616
but I couldn't get it
over the other cast.
512
00:18:40,307 --> 00:18:41,495
Son, I...
513
00:18:41,505 --> 00:18:43,720
I just want to say again that I'm sorry.
514
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,055
Are you, Dad?
515
00:18:45,157 --> 00:18:48,125
The doctor said my growth plates
are gonna fuse all wrong.
516
00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:49,793
But you're probably happy
517
00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:52,095
because you'll be the only one
able to reach all the bowls.
518
00:18:52,105 --> 00:18:54,826
- That's not what I want.
- Yes, it is.
519
00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:57,760
If you had it your way,
I'd never grow up.
520
00:18:57,770 --> 00:19:01,102
I'd just be your punching
bag for the rest of my life.
521
00:19:01,780 --> 00:19:03,913
No, son.
522
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:05,309
I love you.
523
00:19:05,411 --> 00:19:06,723
No, you don't.
524
00:19:06,952 --> 00:19:08,745
You're always trying to keep me down.
525
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:10,681
Just because I can do this!
526
00:19:10,783 --> 00:19:12,616
527
00:19:12,718 --> 00:19:14,017
Ah!
528
00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:17,254
Oh, WorldStar!
529
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:20,858
Rainbow: Yes! Special delivery
of nuts to your face!
530
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,923
Boom shacka-lacka!
531
00:19:22,933 --> 00:19:25,529
Mom, this is supposed to
be embarrassing for Dad.
532
00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:28,526
- Oh, got it.
- What is happening right now?
533
00:19:28,536 --> 00:19:30,133
You've been pranked.
534
00:19:30,143 --> 00:19:32,803
I faked the whole thing...
Like a genius.
535
00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:35,672
[Cheering]
536
00:19:36,066 --> 00:19:37,352
But how?
537
00:19:38,849 --> 00:19:41,041
Junior: I figured out Charlie
wasn't really a ghost
538
00:19:41,051 --> 00:19:43,113
when I caught him eating a Luna bar.
539
00:19:43,215 --> 00:19:45,549
540
00:19:45,651 --> 00:19:48,483
It was hard figuring out how
to fall down the stairs.
541
00:19:48,493 --> 00:19:51,121
You can learn anything on the Internet.
542
00:19:51,223 --> 00:19:53,657
Then came Mom's part.
543
00:19:53,759 --> 00:19:55,659
So, I need three EMTs.
544
00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:57,203
- Make one of them a woman.
- Uh-huh.
545
00:19:57,213 --> 00:19:58,639
I called in favors at work.
546
00:19:58,649 --> 00:20:00,115
I misused hospital resources.
547
00:20:00,217 --> 00:20:02,267
I had to pay people overtime.
548
00:20:02,277 --> 00:20:03,952
Junior: Mom, this is kind of my moment.
549
00:20:04,054 --> 00:20:05,712
Rainbow: Okay, okay, sorry.
550
00:20:05,722 --> 00:20:08,623
[Laughing] He's gonna
feel like an idiot!
551
00:20:08,726 --> 00:20:09,858
He should, though.
552
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,727
Boy, you made me wash you.
553
00:20:11,829 --> 00:20:13,361
[Laughs]
554
00:20:13,464 --> 00:20:15,572
You got me, son.
555
00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:17,357
[Laughs] I'm so proud of you, man.
556
00:20:17,367 --> 00:20:18,500
You really got me.
557
00:20:18,510 --> 00:20:20,836
I think the prank prince
has become the prank king.
558
00:20:20,938 --> 00:20:22,437
Oh, let's slow your roll.
559
00:20:22,539 --> 00:20:23,972
Oh. Let's not get crazy.
560
00:20:24,074 --> 00:20:25,340
Come on, let's go get changed.
561
00:20:26,068 --> 00:20:28,958
That did not go in.
562
00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:39,981
So it turns out when your
son starts to surpass you,
563
00:20:39,991 --> 00:20:42,174
you don't have to fight it or lash out.
564
00:20:42,276 --> 00:20:44,243
There is one other option.
565
00:20:44,345 --> 00:20:48,814
You can embrace it, enjoy it,
and use it to your advantage.
566
00:20:48,916 --> 00:20:51,150
Next year, we're gonna totally
get your mother, right?
567
00:20:51,252 --> 00:20:52,851
Way ahead of you.
568
00:20:52,861 --> 00:20:55,554
A plan is already in motion.
569
00:20:55,656 --> 00:20:58,751
570
00:20:58,761 --> 00:21:02,522
Synced and corrected by johnyd13
~ www.addic7ed.com ~
571
00:21:02,572 --> 00:21:07,122
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Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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