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1
00:00:01,937 --> 00:00:05,014
Hey man, I'm telling you, man.
We wasting our time, man.
2
00:00:05,015 --> 00:00:07,573
Ain't no way moms gonna
let us up in there, man.
3
00:00:07,574 --> 00:00:10,409
She only let them hipster
(bleep) on the list.
4
00:00:10,410 --> 00:00:11,677
We got to try something, man.
5
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,479
- Niggas is hungry.
- Yeah, well,
6
00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,848
this is me, man. You know
how Ms. Tudi feel about Jesus.
7
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:18,050
She gonna let us in.
8
00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:19,618
Hey, Ms. Tudi, I love what
you did with the place
9
00:00:19,619 --> 00:00:20,786
and you look wonderful, by the way.
10
00:00:20,787 --> 00:00:22,087
Shut up, Trayvon. Uh-uh, uh-uh.
11
00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:23,355
Oh, out, out, out, out.
12
00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:24,367
No, no, no, no, no.
13
00:00:24,368 --> 00:00:26,658
Ma, I told 'em you wasn't
gonna let us in. They...
14
00:00:26,659 --> 00:00:28,093
That's right, 'cause this
is a private event.
15
00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:29,561
And y'all can't be in here.
16
00:00:29,562 --> 00:00:31,196
Not even me?
17
00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:33,732
Jesus, you are already
with us in our hearts.
18
00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:35,401
Look, I love y'all, I do.
19
00:00:35,402 --> 00:00:37,736
But this is my cooking thing, hear.
20
00:00:37,737 --> 00:00:39,138
Come on, Ms. Tudi.
21
00:00:39,139 --> 00:00:40,506
You know you like a mama to all us.
22
00:00:40,507 --> 00:00:42,474
Nigga, ooh, no. No, no, no.
23
00:00:42,475 --> 00:00:45,144
Don't say that again, hear.
I don't want to be his mama.
24
00:00:45,145 --> 00:00:47,146
FISH: So you telling me you
gonna feed all these strangers
25
00:00:47,147 --> 00:00:48,847
you met off the Internet,
but you can't feed us?
26
00:00:48,848 --> 00:00:50,182
These ain't strangers.
27
00:00:50,183 --> 00:00:51,784
These are customers.
28
00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:54,420
What, you got the $60 a
plate that I'm charging?
29
00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:56,622
Come on, Ms. Tudi, you know
we ain't got no money, man.
30
00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:57,923
But we'll work for it.
31
00:00:57,924 --> 00:01:00,159
We could be your waitstaff.
32
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:01,226
I don't need no help.
33
00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:02,461
I got Mexicans,
34
00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:03,829
and they some efficient (bleep),
35
00:01:03,830 --> 00:01:05,230
let me tell you.
36
00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:06,532
You know what?
37
00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:08,200
Actually, I could use you, Fish.
38
00:01:08,201 --> 00:01:10,469
I need some help hosting. Come on.
39
00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:11,603
Only Fish.
40
00:01:11,604 --> 00:01:12,838
Hey, why only Fish?
41
00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:14,373
Because he's sexy.
42
00:01:14,374 --> 00:01:16,308
Fat niggas make people
want to stop eating.
43
00:01:16,309 --> 00:01:19,144
Mama, why you always got
to hurt my feelings
44
00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:21,213
in front of my friends?
45
00:01:24,195 --> 00:01:31,853
Subtitle sync and corrections
by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
46
00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:53,779
See, now, I have to keep
the list real tight,
47
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,247
because technically,
48
00:01:55,248 --> 00:01:56,849
what I'm doing is not legal.
49
00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:59,518
You saying it's illegal to
serve food in your own house?
50
00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:02,888
No, I'm saying it's illegal to
sell food in your own house.
51
00:02:02,889 --> 00:02:04,656
So, look, what I need you to do
52
00:02:04,657 --> 00:02:07,526
- Mm-hmm.
- is just go around, check on everybody.
53
00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:09,728
Just make sure they happy, okay?
54
00:02:09,729 --> 00:02:11,630
- All right.
- Okay. But should I get dressed first?
55
00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:14,800
No, no, I like going with
that, uh, hood theme.
56
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:15,868
(chuckles)
57
00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:17,402
- All right, cool.
- Okay.
58
00:02:17,403 --> 00:02:18,871
Go on and get yourself something to eat.
59
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,305
- All right.
- All right.
60
00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:21,373
Thank you, Ms. Tudi.
61
00:02:21,374 --> 00:02:22,641
Go on, baby.
62
00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:33,886
Boonie, if there wasn't no food
in there five minutes ago, man,
63
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:35,621
it just ain't gonna appear.
64
00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:37,222
Really?
65
00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:38,957
I thought that was the point
66
00:02:38,958 --> 00:02:40,726
of his holiness right here.
67
00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:42,928
Hey, man, why don't you
make about five hot dogs
68
00:02:42,929 --> 00:02:45,898
and five 40s appear so you
can feed the crew tonight?
69
00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:47,699
What's up, man?
70
00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,368
JESUS: Look, man, God ain't gonna solve
71
00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:50,802
all our problems. If we ain't eating,
72
00:02:50,803 --> 00:02:52,905
that means we ain't hustling hard enough.
73
00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:55,541
Ooh, nigga.
74
00:02:55,542 --> 00:02:57,910
Well, if it ain't this selfish (bleep).
75
00:02:57,911 --> 00:02:59,878
Boonie, boy, your mom can
cook her ass off, for real.
76
00:02:59,879 --> 00:03:03,649
I hope you ate good, 'cause
there ain't shit to eat now.
77
00:03:03,650 --> 00:03:05,384
At least we got each other.
78
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:07,219
FISH: That's why we
ain't got no food now.
79
00:03:07,220 --> 00:03:08,854
'Cause all we got is each other.
80
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,989
Man, this is exactly
what food stamps is for.
81
00:03:10,990 --> 00:03:12,724
All right, guys, listen, I just Googled
82
00:03:12,725 --> 00:03:15,527
how to get food stamps, and
it's really quite simple.
83
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,229
You guys all meet the criteria.
84
00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:20,532
No money, no job and no
income in the bank, so.
85
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,568
Boonie, why don't you go down there, man?
86
00:03:22,569 --> 00:03:24,536
You got two kids; they'll
probably give you extra.
87
00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:26,271
Man, I'm already on food stamps, man.
88
00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:27,806
Between my mom and Shalinka,
89
00:03:27,807 --> 00:03:30,375
I don't have enough left
to buy a bag of Doritos.
90
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:32,544
Well, somebody gonna have
to go down there, man,
91
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:33,845
or else we gonna starve.
92
00:03:33,846 --> 00:03:35,647
Okay, well, who gonna do it, though?
93
00:03:35,648 --> 00:03:37,583
'Cause you I'd do it,
but I ain't got no I.D.
94
00:03:37,584 --> 00:03:39,484
Six, seven. All right, guys,
I got just the thing.
95
00:03:39,485 --> 00:03:41,520
There's this new app, right?
Uh, you draw straws.
96
00:03:41,521 --> 00:03:43,288
Whoever draws the longest straw
97
00:03:43,289 --> 00:03:45,691
has to go to the, get the stamps.
98
00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:47,059
Go ahead.
99
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,627
(mumbling)
100
00:03:50,930 --> 00:03:52,965
Okay, and then I pick,
and we'll press "draw."
101
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:55,367
And then...
102
00:03:55,368 --> 00:03:56,568
Uh-huh.
103
00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:57,949
Of course.
104
00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:01,340
(phones ringing)
105
00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:02,941
(woman sobbing)
106
00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:05,277
Beat it.
107
00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:07,312
Next!
108
00:04:07,313 --> 00:04:09,414
Come on!
109
00:04:11,284 --> 00:04:12,584
What up, girl?
110
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,319
Nigga out there starving
in these streets.
111
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:15,787
I'm trying to get up
on this SNAP program.
112
00:04:15,788 --> 00:04:18,423
Yeah, all right, uh, Mr., uh, uh...
113
00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:20,292
Oh.
114
00:04:20,293 --> 00:04:22,027
Oh, well, well.
115
00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:24,022
Oh, well, what? Look, lady, I...
116
00:04:24,023 --> 00:04:25,375
How can I help you, sir?
117
00:04:25,376 --> 00:04:27,878
Have you fallen on hard times?
118
00:04:27,879 --> 00:04:29,946
Yeah.
119
00:04:29,947 --> 00:04:31,848
I have fallen on some really...
120
00:04:31,849 --> 00:04:33,350
really hard times.
121
00:04:33,351 --> 00:04:34,885
Mmm.
122
00:04:34,886 --> 00:04:36,520
You know, I'm not working right now,
123
00:04:36,521 --> 00:04:39,156
so, you know, I can't buy
food to feed these muscles.
124
00:04:39,157 --> 00:04:42,125
- Oh.
- You know?
125
00:04:42,126 --> 00:04:44,895
I know I must be down to at
least zero percent body fat.
126
00:04:44,896 --> 00:04:46,329
Uh-huh.
127
00:04:46,330 --> 00:04:48,899
Okay, well, mmm, mmm, mmm.
128
00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:52,269
You know, is this the
best number to reach you?
129
00:04:52,270 --> 00:04:53,403
I'd like to try to get you
130
00:04:53,404 --> 00:04:55,005
eating something
131
00:04:55,006 --> 00:04:56,439
as soon as possible.
132
00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:59,476
Yeah, that's the best number right there.
133
00:04:59,477 --> 00:05:02,145
And you can call me anytime, baby.
134
00:05:02,146 --> 00:05:04,014
Well, I get off around dinnertime.
135
00:05:04,015 --> 00:05:05,415
You will, too.
136
00:05:05,416 --> 00:05:06,583
Mmm.
137
00:05:08,586 --> 00:05:11,521
(sharp inhale)
138
00:05:13,591 --> 00:05:15,358
Damn.
139
00:05:15,359 --> 00:05:17,627
I really can't believe how
good it smells up in here.
140
00:05:17,628 --> 00:05:19,162
Mm-hmm, right?
141
00:05:19,163 --> 00:05:21,097
And look.
142
00:05:21,098 --> 00:05:23,099
-
Hallelujah
- We have buffalo rib eyes,
143
00:05:23,100 --> 00:05:23,890
Hallelujah, hallelujah
144
00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:26,269
and we have truffle
Parmesan mac and cheese.
145
00:05:26,270 --> 00:05:29,005
-
Hallelujah, hallelujah.
- We have prosciutto-wrapped asparagus,
146
00:05:29,006 --> 00:05:30,974
but you can start
147
00:05:30,975 --> 00:05:32,475
with this pear and cheese plate
148
00:05:32,476 --> 00:05:34,578
and a glass of this Cabernet.
149
00:05:34,579 --> 00:05:36,680
Mm-hmm.
150
00:05:41,519 --> 00:05:42,919
Mmm!
151
00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:44,054
You know what, Laverne?
152
00:05:44,055 --> 00:05:45,422
I got to be honest with you,
153
00:05:45,423 --> 00:05:47,624
if you want sex in
exchange for this meal,
154
00:05:47,625 --> 00:05:49,492
I'm down. We can do that.
155
00:05:49,493 --> 00:05:51,061
Excuse you?
156
00:05:51,062 --> 00:05:52,896
I thought that's what you wanted?
157
00:05:52,897 --> 00:05:54,898
My meat for your eats.
158
00:05:54,899 --> 00:05:57,067
No, honey, uh, the meal is free.
159
00:05:57,068 --> 00:05:59,436
I want sex in exchange for this.
160
00:05:59,437 --> 00:06:01,438
No limit.
161
00:06:01,439 --> 00:06:02,539
Limitless.
162
00:06:02,540 --> 00:06:04,641
(chuckles)
163
00:06:07,044 --> 00:06:09,913
(snoring)
164
00:06:09,914 --> 00:06:12,449
Hey, wake y'all punk ass up!
165
00:06:12,450 --> 00:06:13,617
Hey, get up, J.
166
00:06:13,618 --> 00:06:15,285
Get your ass up
167
00:06:15,286 --> 00:06:17,954
and let's go get these groceries.
168
00:06:17,955 --> 00:06:18,922
We got food stamps?
169
00:06:18,923 --> 00:06:20,023
Hell yeah, nigga.
170
00:06:20,024 --> 00:06:21,157
Get up.
171
00:06:21,158 --> 00:06:22,359
You got food stamps?
172
00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:24,027
(bleep) you come from?
173
00:06:24,028 --> 00:06:27,497
Halleluiah, halleluiah,
we about to have a feast.
174
00:06:27,498 --> 00:06:29,299
Thank God for EBT, man.
175
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:31,468
That EBT really help folks, man.
176
00:06:31,469 --> 00:06:33,236
(sniffs)
177
00:06:33,237 --> 00:06:34,571
Man, Pops don't care who loving,
178
00:06:34,572 --> 00:06:36,640
long as you loving
yourself at the same time.
179
00:06:36,641 --> 00:06:38,375
And you know, some of my favorite women
180
00:06:38,376 --> 00:06:39,609
is prostitutes, dawg.
181
00:06:39,610 --> 00:06:41,711
You know, sex work is
some hard work, Fish.
182
00:06:41,712 --> 00:06:43,580
And if you gonna keep
on smashing baby girl
183
00:06:43,581 --> 00:06:46,750
for the food, man, how's
this gonna make you feel?
184
00:06:46,751 --> 00:06:49,185
Beats feeling hungry, I know that much.
185
00:06:49,186 --> 00:06:51,588
I'm eating things I never
thought I'd eat before.
186
00:06:51,589 --> 00:06:53,189
Hey, like fat bitch (bleep)?
187
00:06:53,190 --> 00:06:54,457
(chuckles)
188
00:06:54,458 --> 00:06:55,558
Hey.
189
00:06:55,559 --> 00:06:56,693
Look, man,
190
00:06:56,694 --> 00:06:58,662
that chick, Laverne, dude,
191
00:06:58,663 --> 00:07:00,630
she crazy, man. She got
some real issues, man.
192
00:07:00,631 --> 00:07:02,632
Maybe going through midlife crisis.
193
00:07:02,633 --> 00:07:04,534
Okay, so tell me again,
194
00:07:04,535 --> 00:07:05,969
how is this not stealing?
195
00:07:05,970 --> 00:07:07,437
'Cause Perfect Food's
196
00:07:07,438 --> 00:07:09,005
getting they money,
the government getting
197
00:07:09,006 --> 00:07:10,473
they money from taxpayers.
198
00:07:10,474 --> 00:07:12,108
I mean, Laverne might get
fired if they find out,
199
00:07:12,109 --> 00:07:13,243
but other than that,
200
00:07:13,244 --> 00:07:14,444
the government spend tax money
201
00:07:14,445 --> 00:07:16,179
on worse things than this.
202
00:07:16,180 --> 00:07:18,181
And I know gluttony one
of the seven deadly sins.
203
00:07:18,182 --> 00:07:20,216
(belches)
204
00:07:20,217 --> 00:07:22,557
And I know we can't keep
sitting here getting fat, man,
205
00:07:22,558 --> 00:07:24,454
when there's people out there
that need the Word, man.
206
00:07:24,455 --> 00:07:26,022
We got to take the street.
207
00:07:26,023 --> 00:07:28,491
Snap!
208
00:07:28,492 --> 00:07:30,694
What if we took the card
209
00:07:30,695 --> 00:07:32,060
and went and fed the hungry?
210
00:07:32,061 --> 00:07:34,397
Look, man, you remember
the soup kitchen downtown,
211
00:07:34,398 --> 00:07:35,699
- the one they just shut down?
- Yeah.
212
00:07:35,700 --> 00:07:38,568
Man, it's a gang space in that mug.
213
00:07:38,569 --> 00:07:41,071
I think we could cook out the truck
214
00:07:41,072 --> 00:07:42,772
and serve up in the spot.
215
00:07:42,773 --> 00:07:44,341
Eh, come on, man, let's go check it out!
216
00:07:44,342 --> 00:07:45,180
I mean, whatever it takes
217
00:07:45,181 --> 00:07:46,810
to make the man upstairs
look the other way.
218
00:07:46,811 --> 00:07:48,611
BOONIE: Damn, Jesus,
219
00:07:48,612 --> 00:07:51,748
why we can't just enjoy
some shit once in a while?
220
00:07:51,749 --> 00:07:54,117
Why everything gotta be
a community service?
221
00:07:54,118 --> 00:07:56,219
222
00:08:01,559 --> 00:08:02,881
Hey, hey, Fish, didn't you tell me
223
00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:04,260
you was gonna smoke
some weed with me?
224
00:08:04,261 --> 00:08:06,296
FISH: Got some?
225
00:08:06,297 --> 00:08:08,957
Come on, man, let's get
this truck unloaded.
226
00:08:11,535 --> 00:08:13,203
MS. TUDI: Trayvon!
227
00:08:13,204 --> 00:08:15,038
Where the keys to the truck?
228
00:08:15,039 --> 00:08:16,706
Uh, Boonie... Boonie has 'em.
229
00:08:19,043 --> 00:08:21,244
MS. TUDI: Boonie!
230
00:08:22,446 --> 00:08:23,580
Hey, Mama, what you...
231
00:08:23,581 --> 00:08:24,781
Stop all that.
232
00:08:24,782 --> 00:08:26,149
Where the keys to the truck?
233
00:08:26,150 --> 00:08:27,784
They in the ignition.
234
00:08:27,785 --> 00:08:29,552
Thank you.
235
00:08:32,323 --> 00:08:33,823
Doin' it, doin' it, doin' it
236
00:08:33,824 --> 00:08:35,558
Do it again
237
00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:38,028
Doin' it, doin' it, doin' it
238
00:08:38,029 --> 00:08:40,363
Do it again
239
00:08:40,364 --> 00:08:42,032
-
Doin' it, doin' it, doin' it
- (engine revs)
240
00:08:42,033 --> 00:08:43,400
Do it again
241
00:08:43,401 --> 00:08:45,668
Doin' it, doin' it, doin' it,
242
00:08:45,669 --> 00:08:47,537
Do it again.
243
00:08:50,674 --> 00:08:52,242
Who stole the damn truck?
244
00:08:52,243 --> 00:08:53,843
It was...
245
00:08:53,844 --> 00:08:55,944
Hey, my mama stole your truck, Jesus.
246
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:59,215
Why you let her?
247
00:09:00,139 --> 00:09:01,759
You wanted to talk with us Ms. Tudi?
248
00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:04,261
I'm glad you got my message.
249
00:09:04,262 --> 00:09:06,830
Because Ms. Tudi's feelings
250
00:09:06,831 --> 00:09:08,699
was very, very hurt.
251
00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:10,868
I mean, I thought we were a team.
252
00:09:10,869 --> 00:09:12,703
Crew love.
253
00:09:12,704 --> 00:09:14,071
Huh?
254
00:09:14,072 --> 00:09:16,273
Crew love!
255
00:09:16,274 --> 00:09:20,010
But I see Ms. Tudi just out in the cold.
256
00:09:20,011 --> 00:09:21,412
Now, I know something going on.
257
00:09:22,681 --> 00:09:23,847
I don't know what,
258
00:09:23,848 --> 00:09:25,649
but something is going on.
259
00:09:25,650 --> 00:09:26,951
I know, because this nigga
260
00:09:26,952 --> 00:09:29,687
right here is fatter
than he was last week.
261
00:09:29,688 --> 00:09:31,822
We just helping out the
less fortunate, Ms. Tudi.
262
00:09:31,823 --> 00:09:33,857
Y'all niggas are the less fortunate.
263
00:09:33,858 --> 00:09:35,326
Now, I saw all that food.
264
00:09:35,327 --> 00:09:36,860
Where'd you get it?
265
00:09:36,861 --> 00:09:38,162
Did you steal it?
266
00:09:38,163 --> 00:09:39,964
Huh?
267
00:09:39,965 --> 00:09:42,766
Ms. Tudi, we got a little
hookup down at the SNAP office.
268
00:09:42,767 --> 00:09:44,802
And I got this.
269
00:09:44,803 --> 00:09:46,637
A EBT card?
270
00:09:46,638 --> 00:09:48,973
Nah, an infinite EBT card.
271
00:09:48,974 --> 00:09:50,374
Limitless.
272
00:09:50,375 --> 00:09:51,942
Jesus...
273
00:09:51,943 --> 00:09:53,377
is that a miracle?
274
00:09:53,378 --> 00:09:55,746
- Huh?
- That ain't no miracle, Ms. Tudi.
275
00:09:55,747 --> 00:09:58,782
See, Fish, he taking advantage of, uh,
276
00:09:58,783 --> 00:10:00,284
of a girl, the way she's built,
277
00:10:00,285 --> 00:10:02,453
you know, when she stand
up, her ankles disappear.
278
00:10:02,454 --> 00:10:03,754
Laverne, down at the SNAP office.
279
00:10:03,755 --> 00:10:04,955
So Fish putting it up in her,
280
00:10:04,956 --> 00:10:06,457
you know what I'm saying?
281
00:10:06,458 --> 00:10:08,158
As long as he keep feeding her guts,
282
00:10:08,159 --> 00:10:10,060
she keep feeding us.
283
00:10:10,061 --> 00:10:11,695
- That's what's up.
- Fish, I'm...
284
00:10:11,696 --> 00:10:13,430
surprised.
285
00:10:13,431 --> 00:10:15,899
(sighs) You know what?
286
00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:18,302
Why don't y'all come on and have a seat?
287
00:10:18,303 --> 00:10:20,471
Come on! Y'all want some wine?
288
00:10:20,472 --> 00:10:22,072
- Huh?
- Me, too?
289
00:10:22,073 --> 00:10:24,008
You, too, baby. Come on in, sit down.
290
00:10:24,009 --> 00:10:25,909
- Wine?
- Yes, some wine. Red wine.
291
00:10:25,910 --> 00:10:27,478
Boonie, go get the wine for 'em.
292
00:10:27,479 --> 00:10:28,912
Ms. Tudi, why every time we try
293
00:10:28,913 --> 00:10:30,214
to do something good for mankind,
294
00:10:30,215 --> 00:10:31,782
you gotta turn it into a money hustle?
295
00:10:31,783 --> 00:10:33,021
Come on, now, that food
296
00:10:33,022 --> 00:10:34,499
is for the poor and unfortunate, man.
297
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:36,420
Why you got to act greedy all the time?
298
00:10:36,421 --> 00:10:37,921
Greedy?
299
00:10:37,922 --> 00:10:39,390
Jesus, you the one that's being greedy.
300
00:10:39,391 --> 00:10:40,758
Why does everything
301
00:10:40,759 --> 00:10:42,226
have to be for the poor, huh?
302
00:10:42,227 --> 00:10:43,494
I mean, what, you don't think
303
00:10:43,495 --> 00:10:45,095
we want to do shit?
304
00:10:45,096 --> 00:10:46,397
- (phone chimes)
- Now listen,
305
00:10:46,398 --> 00:10:48,966
your soup kitchen is the perfect place
306
00:10:48,967 --> 00:10:50,334
for Tasty Tudi's.
307
00:10:50,335 --> 00:10:52,002
And with all this free food,
308
00:10:52,003 --> 00:10:53,804
do you know how much
money we could make?
309
00:10:53,805 --> 00:10:55,973
Hey, trust me. That food ain't free.
310
00:10:55,974 --> 00:10:58,208
Do you know what this dude
gotta do for that card?
311
00:10:58,209 --> 00:11:00,811
And I want to cut all y'all in.
312
00:11:00,812 --> 00:11:03,113
$80 a plate.
313
00:11:03,114 --> 00:11:04,481
Yeah, but Ms. Tudi, who
gonna pay that much
314
00:11:04,482 --> 00:11:06,116
to eat dinner in a (bleep) neighborhood?
315
00:11:06,117 --> 00:11:07,751
(chuckles) Baby,
316
00:11:07,752 --> 00:11:09,353
like I told Fish, these white folks...
317
00:11:09,354 --> 00:11:11,055
ha!... they love this shit.
318
00:11:11,056 --> 00:11:12,423
And see, I'm thinking
319
00:11:12,424 --> 00:11:14,458
we'll keep the whole soup kitchen theme.
320
00:11:14,459 --> 00:11:16,794
We could even dress up
the waiters like bums.
321
00:11:16,795 --> 00:11:17,860
And then we could do
322
00:11:17,861 --> 00:11:19,296
some spontaneous
ghetto theater, you know?
323
00:11:19,297 --> 00:11:21,765
Like the Medieval Times?
324
00:11:21,766 --> 00:11:23,233
You know what? It ain't my body.
325
00:11:23,234 --> 00:11:24,468
That's on y'all.
326
00:11:24,469 --> 00:11:26,136
But mark my words, man,
327
00:11:26,137 --> 00:11:27,805
if Pops don't like y'all get down,
328
00:11:27,806 --> 00:11:29,540
trust and believe he gonna
shut that shit down
329
00:11:29,541 --> 00:11:31,375
with quickness and it
will not be fruitful.
330
00:11:31,376 --> 00:11:33,210
Now, Ms. Tudi, with all due respect,
331
00:11:33,211 --> 00:11:35,079
may I please have my keys
332
00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:36,380
so I can shake this spot?
333
00:11:36,381 --> 00:11:38,615
So mad about?
334
00:11:39,818 --> 00:11:41,285
I don't even know why
335
00:11:41,286 --> 00:11:43,287
I walk this (bleep) earth sometimes, man.
336
00:11:43,288 --> 00:11:44,822
Don't nobody listen.
337
00:11:44,823 --> 00:11:46,156
Who the (bleep) am I?
338
00:11:46,157 --> 00:11:47,558
Son of the Most High.
339
00:11:47,559 --> 00:11:50,928
You know. The Alpha, the Omega.
340
00:11:50,929 --> 00:11:52,362
The Messiah.
341
00:11:52,363 --> 00:11:54,798
(scoffs) Y'all don't give a (bleep).
342
00:11:54,799 --> 00:11:56,166
Come on, homies, let's bust up
343
00:11:56,167 --> 00:11:58,402
out of here, man.
344
00:11:58,403 --> 00:12:00,470
I... I care.
345
00:12:01,806 --> 00:12:04,875
Eh, eh, eh. Fish.
346
00:12:11,516 --> 00:12:12,916
Look here.
347
00:12:12,917 --> 00:12:14,351
How much sleep you getting, huh?
348
00:12:14,352 --> 00:12:15,919
No, better yet,
349
00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:19,089
how many nights are
you spending at Laverne's?
350
00:12:19,090 --> 00:12:21,291
Before you made this little arrangement,
351
00:12:21,292 --> 00:12:22,960
did you negotiate
352
00:12:22,961 --> 00:12:25,162
how many little appointments
you were gonna have?
353
00:12:25,163 --> 00:12:27,498
Did you set any rules at all?
354
00:12:27,499 --> 00:12:29,609
See, there you go with that
pimpin' shit again, Ms. Tudi.
355
00:12:29,610 --> 00:12:31,494
- Look, man, I don't really need you...
- (phone chimes)
356
00:12:31,495 --> 00:12:33,003
Oh!
357
00:12:33,004 --> 00:12:35,572
What, she blowing up
your personal phone?
358
00:12:35,573 --> 00:12:37,975
See, that bitch thinks she owns you.
359
00:12:37,976 --> 00:12:40,344
And that's because you failed
360
00:12:40,345 --> 00:12:42,079
to lay out any boundaries
361
00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:43,881
and any expectations.
362
00:12:43,882 --> 00:12:47,084
That's what good
representation can do for you.
363
00:12:47,085 --> 00:12:48,652
Yeah, you right, Ms. Tudi.
364
00:12:48,653 --> 00:12:50,888
Man, she expect a lot for
that food she givin' us.
365
00:12:50,889 --> 00:12:54,191
Listen, I can help you
manage this situation.
366
00:12:54,192 --> 00:12:56,560
But first, what we gonna
do is keep her happy.
367
00:12:56,561 --> 00:12:59,563
Keep the card working.
368
00:12:59,564 --> 00:13:01,064
Okay?
369
00:13:01,065 --> 00:13:03,033
We're gonna start with this.
370
00:13:04,369 --> 00:13:06,036
Give me your hand.
371
00:13:07,972 --> 00:13:09,239
Oh.
372
00:13:10,575 --> 00:13:13,277
(phone chimes)
373
00:13:13,278 --> 00:13:14,912
Nah, I need more.
374
00:13:14,913 --> 00:13:16,179
Look what she's sending me.
375
00:13:17,549 --> 00:13:19,516
I need a couple, though.
376
00:13:19,517 --> 00:13:21,885
All right.
377
00:13:21,886 --> 00:13:24,655
(indistinct overlapping chatter)
378
00:13:26,591 --> 00:13:29,192
(whistling)
379
00:13:31,629 --> 00:13:34,031
Okay, se?or, here we go.
380
00:13:34,032 --> 00:13:35,399
Gracias.
381
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,235
Ba-dup-Ba-dah-dah-dah...
Ah!
382
00:13:38,236 --> 00:13:39,570
Thank you.
383
00:13:39,571 --> 00:13:41,004
(laughs)
384
00:13:41,005 --> 00:13:42,940
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
385
00:13:42,941 --> 00:13:45,309
Ah-ah! Ah-ah! Put it down!
386
00:13:45,310 --> 00:13:47,511
- What the hell you think you doing, Lloyd?
- I think I'm gonna
387
00:13:47,512 --> 00:13:49,125
get me some food. This used to be
388
00:13:49,126 --> 00:13:51,615
- my favorite soup kitchen.
- Well, it ain't your soup kitchen no more.
389
00:13:51,616 --> 00:13:53,617
Look, Lloyd, you ain't homeless no more.
390
00:13:53,618 --> 00:13:56,053
Once you're homeless, you're
always homeless. Look at me!
391
00:13:56,054 --> 00:13:57,955
Get out of here. Go.
I ain't playing with you.
392
00:13:57,956 --> 00:14:00,424
- Heard the lady. Come on. Come on, man.
- I'm tired of TV dinners.
393
00:14:00,425 --> 00:14:02,359
Y'all call yourself Christian.
Look at me, I'm starving.
394
00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:03,894
- Hey, hey...
- I ain't had nothing since brunch.
395
00:14:03,895 --> 00:14:05,028
Rabbi!
396
00:14:05,029 --> 00:14:06,529
Ms. Tudi, give him something to eat.
397
00:14:08,132 --> 00:14:09,366
Here, nigga, take that.
398
00:14:09,367 --> 00:14:11,301
Slap some gravy on this thing.
399
00:14:11,302 --> 00:14:13,070
- This is ridiculous!
- Hey, come on.
400
00:14:13,071 --> 00:14:15,105
Get your ass up out of here, man.
401
00:14:15,106 --> 00:14:16,940
MS. TUDI: Okay. All right, team!
402
00:14:16,941 --> 00:14:18,976
Let's go, clean up.
Let's clean up. Hey, you.
403
00:14:18,977 --> 00:14:21,311
You, you. Let's go. Let's go,
okay? Hey, y'all over there!
404
00:14:21,312 --> 00:14:22,946
- Go! Let's go!
- (people grumbling)
405
00:14:22,947 --> 00:14:25,282
Take that food from his ass. It's over.
406
00:14:25,283 --> 00:14:26,516
- What?
- Ms. Tudi, why you trippin'?
407
00:14:26,517 --> 00:14:27,951
Nigga, talk to me like that
408
00:14:27,952 --> 00:14:29,279
when I put some money
in your pocket, hear.
409
00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:30,594
It is time for everybody to go.
410
00:14:30,595 --> 00:14:31,488
Get these niggas out of here.
411
00:14:31,489 --> 00:14:32,689
You got to go.
412
00:14:32,690 --> 00:14:34,057
JESUS: They still hungry, Ms. Tudi.
413
00:14:34,058 --> 00:14:35,325
Okay, take the tray with you.
414
00:14:35,326 --> 00:14:37,094
Take the tray. Here. Just bye. Go.
415
00:14:37,095 --> 00:14:38,528
Go.
416
00:14:38,529 --> 00:14:40,631
All right, team. Time to get going.
417
00:14:40,632 --> 00:14:44,101
Let's make some money!
418
00:14:45,203 --> 00:14:46,637
Mm-mm.
419
00:14:46,638 --> 00:14:48,272
MS. TUDI: Get it up.
420
00:14:48,273 --> 00:14:49,573
All right, you can turn 'em on now.
421
00:14:49,574 --> 00:14:51,241
MS. TUDI: Good job, Boonie.
422
00:14:51,242 --> 00:14:53,343
- Hey-hey-hey!
- Put one over there.
423
00:14:53,344 --> 00:14:55,345
Hey, Ms. Tudi, we got
time to smoke this blunt?
424
00:14:55,346 --> 00:14:58,148
Oh, yeah, we got time today, cuz.
425
00:14:58,149 --> 00:15:00,684
(laughter)
426
00:15:00,685 --> 00:15:03,553
(laughing): Today we have time.
427
00:15:03,554 --> 00:15:06,790
(low, indistinct chatter)
428
00:15:14,532 --> 00:15:16,533
Get out, get out of my way.
I'm on the list.
429
00:15:16,534 --> 00:15:18,502
I'm on the list.
430
00:15:18,503 --> 00:15:19,736
Lloyd!
431
00:15:19,737 --> 00:15:21,004
I am not playing with you.
432
00:15:21,005 --> 00:15:22,105
Now, you about to get
433
00:15:22,106 --> 00:15:23,573
on my last damn nerve, hear?
434
00:15:23,574 --> 00:15:25,442
Ain't this a bitch? Now I'm a bum again!
435
00:15:25,443 --> 00:15:27,477
Too poor to eat here in the nighttime
436
00:15:27,478 --> 00:15:30,047
and not poor enough
to eat in the daytime.
437
00:15:30,048 --> 00:15:31,748
- Mm-hmm.
- Give me something to eat, please?
438
00:15:31,749 --> 00:15:32,749
Just a little morsel.
439
00:15:32,750 --> 00:15:34,051
$80 a plate, nigga.
440
00:15:34,052 --> 00:15:35,218
You got $80?
441
00:15:35,219 --> 00:15:37,220
$80?! For food?!
442
00:15:37,221 --> 00:15:39,222
You ought to be ashamed of yourself!
443
00:15:39,223 --> 00:15:41,792
This is bullshit! And look...
444
00:15:41,793 --> 00:15:43,327
look at him!
445
00:15:43,328 --> 00:15:44,995
Him, too... don't he look like me?
446
00:15:44,996 --> 00:15:47,331
Look at this one!
447
00:15:47,332 --> 00:15:48,632
You stole my likeness.
448
00:15:48,633 --> 00:15:50,200
Oh, nigga, please.
449
00:15:50,201 --> 00:15:51,735
I'm gonna sue. I'm gonna sue you.
450
00:15:51,736 --> 00:15:53,470
- I'm gonna sue all of you.
- Okay, good.
451
00:15:53,471 --> 00:15:54,404
- Okay, okay.
- I'm gonna sue.
452
00:15:54,405 --> 00:15:55,672
Good, sue and disappear.
453
00:15:55,673 --> 00:15:57,774
- Okay, all right, okay.
- Mm-hmm, okay, uh-huh.
454
00:15:57,775 --> 00:15:59,294
Uh-huh, this ain't the last
you gonna see of me.
455
00:15:59,295 --> 00:16:00,644
- Mm-hmm, good.
- Uh-uh, uh-uh.
456
00:16:00,645 --> 00:16:02,479
Well, let me use the bathroom first.
457
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,614
Nigga, go shit in the middle of
the street like you normally do!
458
00:16:04,615 --> 00:16:06,483
- Okay, okay.
- Now, go!
459
00:16:06,484 --> 00:16:09,119
- Mm-hmm, good, good.
- Uh-uh, uh-uh, no, no, no.
460
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:11,021
- Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh.
- Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
461
00:16:11,022 --> 00:16:13,757
- Mm-hmm.
- Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-uh.
462
00:16:13,758 --> 00:16:17,160
Don't let that nigga in here.
463
00:16:17,161 --> 00:16:19,262
Y'all having a good time?
464
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,634
465
00:16:35,813 --> 00:16:39,116
Wow, some of these guys
look like real bums.
466
00:16:39,117 --> 00:16:41,184
This place is amazing.
467
00:16:42,787 --> 00:16:45,255
Don't tell me I ain't no bum.
468
00:16:45,256 --> 00:16:47,357
I know what a bum is.
469
00:16:49,861 --> 00:16:52,162
Bum, bum.
470
00:16:52,163 --> 00:16:54,765
I'm gonna drop some bums on their ass.
471
00:16:54,766 --> 00:16:56,466
What I'm... that's what I'm gonna do.
472
00:16:56,467 --> 00:16:58,435
Watch this, watch this. (grunts)
473
00:16:58,436 --> 00:16:59,636
Okay.
474
00:16:59,637 --> 00:17:01,171
(sighs, grunts)
475
00:17:01,172 --> 00:17:03,540
(farting, defecates in water)
476
00:17:03,541 --> 00:17:06,376
(grunting)
477
00:17:09,180 --> 00:17:10,614
All right, what I tell y'all?
478
00:17:10,615 --> 00:17:12,549
Crew love, honey, crew love!
479
00:17:12,550 --> 00:17:14,651
Mm-mm-mm, bring it on in.
Come on, Jesus.
480
00:17:14,652 --> 00:17:16,553
Hey, Boonie, we got
a spill over there, babe.
481
00:17:16,554 --> 00:17:18,121
Go pick that up, go pick that up.
482
00:17:18,122 --> 00:17:20,223
Go get the broom in
the broom closet, nigga,
483
00:17:20,224 --> 00:17:21,591
and clean it up!
484
00:17:21,592 --> 00:17:23,360
Aw, Ms. Tudi, you so hard on him.
485
00:17:23,361 --> 00:17:24,741
I love you, Boonie!
486
00:17:41,112 --> 00:17:43,680
Yo, y'all smell that, man?
487
00:17:44,816 --> 00:17:47,284
Hey, I ain't crazy, man.
488
00:17:47,285 --> 00:17:50,387
I know you uppity (bleep) can
smell that shit, but (bleep) it.
489
00:17:50,388 --> 00:17:51,655
That smell terrible,
490
00:17:51,656 --> 00:17:53,590
like somebody took a shit or something.
491
00:17:53,591 --> 00:17:55,459
Goddamn!
492
00:17:55,460 --> 00:17:58,061
Oh, God, what's that smell?
493
00:17:58,062 --> 00:17:59,663
Jesus, it's awful.
494
00:17:59,664 --> 00:18:01,932
This place is amazing.
495
00:18:04,869 --> 00:18:06,870
(grunting)
496
00:18:06,871 --> 00:18:09,673
There she is right there, Ms. Tudi.
497
00:18:09,674 --> 00:18:13,276
Hey, where-where's Fish?
498
00:18:13,277 --> 00:18:17,180
Where's that hot piece of ass?
499
00:18:17,181 --> 00:18:18,715
Oh, yeah!
500
00:18:18,716 --> 00:18:21,184
There's my stud.
501
00:18:21,185 --> 00:18:22,419
Oh. What's up, Laverne?
502
00:18:22,420 --> 00:18:23,587
How you doing tonight?
503
00:18:23,588 --> 00:18:25,155
I want you to meet somebody.
504
00:18:25,156 --> 00:18:26,590
This is Ms. Tudi.
505
00:18:26,591 --> 00:18:28,191
She's the founder of
this fine establishment.
506
00:18:28,192 --> 00:18:30,427
Ms. Tudi, that's-that's her.
507
00:18:30,428 --> 00:18:31,661
How you doing, my sister?
508
00:18:31,662 --> 00:18:33,363
I've heard a lot about you
509
00:18:33,364 --> 00:18:34,831
and, uh, well, I sure hope you brought
510
00:18:34,832 --> 00:18:36,600
your appetite with you.
511
00:18:36,601 --> 00:18:38,502
Oh, so you done got a job now?
512
00:18:38,503 --> 00:18:39,936
I guess that means
513
00:18:39,937 --> 00:18:41,404
you're not gonna be needing
514
00:18:41,405 --> 00:18:43,740
any more government assistance.
515
00:18:43,741 --> 00:18:45,242
Listen, I wanted to
talk to you about that.
516
00:18:45,243 --> 00:18:46,476
Laverne,
517
00:18:46,477 --> 00:18:48,979
I think I might be able to interest you
518
00:18:48,980 --> 00:18:51,548
in a partnership with Tasty Tudi's.
519
00:18:51,549 --> 00:18:52,816
Partnership?!
520
00:18:52,817 --> 00:18:55,285
How you gonna offer me a partnership
521
00:18:55,286 --> 00:18:56,720
when all this is my shit?
522
00:18:56,721 --> 00:18:58,588
I know where this food came from.
523
00:18:58,589 --> 00:19:00,457
Laverne, please. Please, Laverne.
524
00:19:00,458 --> 00:19:02,325
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.
525
00:19:02,326 --> 00:19:05,562
I ain't (bleep) with you
since my third divorce!
526
00:19:05,563 --> 00:19:07,631
I ain't even want to talk to you!
527
00:19:07,632 --> 00:19:10,333
Now, listen, let me tell you something.
528
00:19:10,334 --> 00:19:13,170
I don't want a partner in no broke-down,
529
00:19:13,171 --> 00:19:14,971
tore-up-ass, old restaurant.
530
00:19:14,972 --> 00:19:17,541
I don't care what you do with the food
531
00:19:17,542 --> 00:19:20,577
as long as it don't interfere
with my dick time.
532
00:19:20,578 --> 00:19:21,645
Now, come on, Fish.
533
00:19:21,646 --> 00:19:23,346
(kisses) Let's go.
534
00:19:23,347 --> 00:19:25,448
Say, man, you better chill
the (bleep) out right now.
535
00:19:25,449 --> 00:19:28,418
Oh, don't fool around and get
your benefits cut, Fish.
536
00:19:28,419 --> 00:19:29,853
JESUS: Laverne, please now.
537
00:19:29,854 --> 00:19:31,288
Stop, that's enough.
538
00:19:31,289 --> 00:19:32,822
No, no, (bleep) all that!
539
00:19:32,823 --> 00:19:33,857
Hey, ladies?
540
00:19:33,858 --> 00:19:35,639
Ladies, you want a good time?
541
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:38,336
'Cause this nigga'll blow your
back out for a cheeseburger.
542
00:19:38,337 --> 00:19:38,929
(customers exclaiming)
543
00:19:38,930 --> 00:19:41,464
Now, come on, baby, it's dick time!
544
00:19:41,465 --> 00:19:43,567
Let's go!
545
00:19:43,568 --> 00:19:46,228
Should've listened to you, Jesus.
546
00:19:49,006 --> 00:19:51,508
JESUS: Look, look, ladies, ladies,
547
00:19:51,509 --> 00:19:53,443
let's-let's calm down, take a breather,
548
00:19:53,444 --> 00:19:54,544
count to ten... let's chill out.
549
00:19:54,545 --> 00:19:55,979
We can talk about this.
550
00:19:55,980 --> 00:19:58,448
Why don't you fix me
a plate to go, bitch,
551
00:19:58,449 --> 00:20:00,350
before I feed all these niggas
552
00:20:00,351 --> 00:20:01,818
and take them all home with me?
553
00:20:03,454 --> 00:20:06,389
- (Laverne shouting)
- (customer exclaiming)
554
00:20:09,026 --> 00:20:10,827
(glass shattering)
555
00:20:11,662 --> 00:20:13,997
(customers gasping)
556
00:20:13,998 --> 00:20:15,365
Damn, Laverne, you all right?
557
00:20:15,366 --> 00:20:17,467
Nigga, do I look all right?
558
00:20:17,468 --> 00:20:19,569
MAN: Did you just see that?
559
00:20:19,570 --> 00:20:20,937
Bitch, what you hit me with?
560
00:20:20,938 --> 00:20:23,873
I hit you with the (bleep)
hand of Tudi, bitch.
561
00:20:23,874 --> 00:20:26,576
See, I was waiting for you at the door.
562
00:20:26,577 --> 00:20:28,411
Let me tell you something.
563
00:20:28,412 --> 00:20:29,913
This is my spot!
564
00:20:29,914 --> 00:20:31,781
You don't come up in Tasty Tudi's
565
00:20:31,782 --> 00:20:34,417
with this bullshit, you understand me?!
566
00:20:34,418 --> 00:20:36,453
This is a fine, (bleep)
dining establishment.
567
00:20:36,454 --> 00:20:38,788
And as for that little
arrangement you and Fish have?
568
00:20:38,789 --> 00:20:40,991
Oh. That shit's over, hear?
569
00:20:40,992 --> 00:20:41,992
Hear?!
570
00:20:41,993 --> 00:20:43,560
All right, damn.
571
00:20:43,561 --> 00:20:45,528
All right, now, we gonna do this classy.
572
00:20:45,529 --> 00:20:48,765
Come on, get up and bow, bitch.
573
00:20:48,766 --> 00:20:50,567
Oh... (grunting)
574
00:20:50,568 --> 00:20:51,568
Oh!
575
00:20:51,569 --> 00:20:54,504
- Damn.
- And scene!
576
00:21:01,045 --> 00:21:02,979
Ladies and gentlemen,
577
00:21:02,980 --> 00:21:06,683
a little ghetto theater
to enjoy with your meal.
578
00:21:06,684 --> 00:21:09,452
Ladies and gentlemen,
579
00:21:09,453 --> 00:21:12,113
let's give a round of applause to Fish!
580
00:21:13,024 --> 00:21:15,625
(cheering, whooping)
581
00:21:15,626 --> 00:21:17,613
Come on, Laverne, we got
to get you out of here.
582
00:21:17,614 --> 00:21:19,072
You know, you kind of
had that coming, girl,
583
00:21:19,073 --> 00:21:20,397
'cause you know you be doing the most.
584
00:21:20,398 --> 00:21:21,778
I know, Jesus.
585
00:21:22,933 --> 00:21:24,467
WOMAN: Oh, God!
586
00:21:24,468 --> 00:21:25,935
He's mopping the floor with shit!
587
00:21:25,936 --> 00:21:27,871
Hey, I knew I smelled something.
588
00:21:27,872 --> 00:21:29,873
- WOMAN: Oh, gross.
- MAN: I'm going to throw up.
589
00:21:29,874 --> 00:21:33,043
Hey, Mama, is there supposed
to be shit on the mop?!
590
00:21:33,044 --> 00:21:34,511
MAN: Gross!
591
00:21:34,512 --> 00:21:36,579
Is this part of the theme or what?!
592
00:21:39,116 --> 00:21:40,903
MAN: So disgusting.
593
00:21:41,233 --> 00:21:47,640
Subtitle sync and corrections
by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
594
00:21:47,690 --> 00:21:52,240
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
41357
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