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1
00:00:03,136 --> 00:00:04,702
What are you doing?
2
00:00:04,639 --> 00:00:06,240
Well, Larry called earlier.
3
00:00:06,176 --> 00:00:09,112
He's all uptight about
the Blakely account.
4
00:00:08,992 --> 00:00:11,860
I told him I'd
rough out some ideas
5
00:00:11,744 --> 00:00:12,944
and mail 'em in tomorrow.
6
00:00:12,896 --> 00:00:14,597
Doesn't he know
you're on vacation?
7
00:00:14,529 --> 00:00:17,130
Oh, he knows.
But he doesn't care.
8
00:00:17,024 --> 00:00:18,158
Oh.
9
00:00:18,113 --> 00:00:20,814
Besides, if I do
this preliminary work,
10
00:00:20,705 --> 00:00:22,440
it'll keep him
from coming up here.
11
00:00:22,370 --> 00:00:24,037
Hm. Some vacation.
12
00:00:23,969 --> 00:00:25,236
You're stuck here working,
13
00:00:25,186 --> 00:00:26,719
and I'm off to a meeting.
14
00:00:26,657 --> 00:00:27,925
What's on the agenda?
15
00:00:27,874 --> 00:00:31,977
Well, uh, tonight we install
the new resident witch.
16
00:00:31,810 --> 00:00:33,177
Resident witch?
17
00:00:33,122 --> 00:00:35,957
Yes. We've had one living here
in Salem incognito
18
00:00:35,843 --> 00:00:37,944
ever since
the witch-hunts of 1692,
19
00:00:37,859 --> 00:00:40,428
just to make sure
it never happens again.
20
00:00:40,324 --> 00:00:42,157
You know...
21
00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:43,984
some of you witches
aren't half bad.
22
00:00:43,907 --> 00:00:45,041
[CHUCKLES]
23
00:00:44,996 --> 00:00:46,263
[
]
24
00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:49,181
Why don't we forget about
work and conventions?
25
00:00:49,060 --> 00:00:51,061
Let's think of this
as a second honeymoon.
26
00:00:53,541 --> 00:00:54,641
Mm.
27
00:00:54,597 --> 00:00:55,931
I can get out of the meeting.
28
00:00:55,877 --> 00:00:57,177
I'll tell them I came down with
29
00:00:57,125 --> 00:00:59,293
a very bad case of love.
30
00:00:59,205 --> 00:01:01,072
ENDORA:
As chairlady of the meeting,
31
00:01:00,997 --> 00:01:04,199
I would not consider ita proper excuse.
32
00:01:06,470 --> 00:01:08,571
Why don't you
ever knock, Endora?
33
00:01:08,486 --> 00:01:10,487
And why don't you ever
34
00:01:10,406 --> 00:01:11,606
knock it off?
35
00:01:11,558 --> 00:01:14,693
Come along, Samantha.
We'll be late.
36
00:01:14,566 --> 00:01:16,734
I'll try not to wake you up
when I get back.
37
00:01:16,646 --> 00:01:18,714
Uh, you'd better wake me up...
38
00:01:18,631 --> 00:01:19,965
or I'll never forgive you.
39
00:01:22,407 --> 00:01:23,708
[
]
40
00:01:24,808 --> 00:01:26,341
[APPLAUSE]
41
00:01:28,712 --> 00:01:31,447
After a short recess...
42
00:01:31,336 --> 00:01:33,003
we'll deal with the appointment
43
00:01:32,936 --> 00:01:35,237
of the new resident
witch of Salem.
44
00:01:35,144 --> 00:01:38,847
As you well know,
this office was created
45
00:01:38,697 --> 00:01:42,033
out of the wisdom of
the high priestess, Hepzibah...
46
00:01:41,897 --> 00:01:45,299
in the year 1692...
47
00:01:45,161 --> 00:01:47,596
dedicated to protect
48
00:01:47,498 --> 00:01:49,866
the image of the witch.
49
00:01:49,770 --> 00:01:53,807
And if necessary,
through the use of witchcraft,
50
00:01:53,643 --> 00:01:55,243
to protect those innocent people
51
00:01:55,179 --> 00:01:57,213
who may be accused as witches.
52
00:01:57,131 --> 00:02:00,768
As well as to protect
against themselves...
53
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:05,257
those mortals
so foolish as to cry:
54
00:02:05,068 --> 00:02:07,002
"Witch!"
55
00:02:06,924 --> 00:02:08,457
[APPLAUSE]
56
00:02:08,396 --> 00:02:10,064
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
57
00:02:13,805 --> 00:02:16,606
This coven is now in recess.
58
00:02:16,493 --> 00:02:17,794
[
]
59
00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:21,307
WOMAN: I'm going to get
a little bit of food.
60
00:02:21,230 --> 00:02:22,796
[LIQUID BUBBLING]
61
00:02:24,206 --> 00:02:25,206
[GASPS]
62
00:02:25,166 --> 00:02:26,166
MAN:
Guess who.
63
00:02:26,126 --> 00:02:28,693
Ha-ha. Waldo.
Who else?
64
00:02:28,589 --> 00:02:29,690
How did you guess?
65
00:02:29,646 --> 00:02:31,380
The wart on your little finger.
66
00:02:31,310 --> 00:02:33,578
From the time
you turned me into a frog
67
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:34,621
when we were children.
68
00:02:34,575 --> 00:02:35,841
I'm sorry it never went away.
69
00:02:35,790 --> 00:02:37,224
I'm not.
70
00:02:37,167 --> 00:02:39,769
This foolish thing
reminds me of you.
71
00:02:39,663 --> 00:02:40,929
[CHUCKLES] Oh. [CHUCKLES]
72
00:02:40,879 --> 00:02:42,213
Waldo. Grow up.
73
00:02:42,159 --> 00:02:44,561
I'm happily married with
two beautiful children.
74
00:02:44,464 --> 00:02:46,831
Yeah, but to a mortal.
That doesn't count.
75
00:02:46,735 --> 00:02:48,770
Silly.
Oh, excuse me.
76
00:02:48,688 --> 00:02:49,955
I-I'm needed.
77
00:02:49,904 --> 00:02:51,905
[
]
78
00:02:51,824 --> 00:02:53,258
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
79
00:02:56,881 --> 00:02:59,282
[
]
80
00:03:04,370 --> 00:03:06,371
Fly into my nest My love.
81
00:03:07,474 --> 00:03:10,943
Though you may be second bestMy love.
82
00:03:10,802 --> 00:03:14,138
Though you're only make-believeMy love.
83
00:03:14,003 --> 00:03:16,738
At least you're mine this eveMy love.
84
00:03:19,955 --> 00:03:22,724
Wasn't very nice of her
telling me to grow up.
85
00:03:22,612 --> 00:03:25,980
But, Waldo, my darling, my love.
86
00:03:25,843 --> 00:03:28,879
That's the thing
I adore about you:
87
00:03:28,756 --> 00:03:30,858
Your boyish quality.
88
00:03:30,773 --> 00:03:31,839
That's better.
89
00:03:31,796 --> 00:03:33,230
I love you, Waldo.
90
00:03:33,173 --> 00:03:34,640
Do you love me?
91
00:03:34,581 --> 00:03:36,849
Do I love thee?
92
00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:39,862
Let me count the ways.
93
00:03:39,798 --> 00:03:41,832
Let me count the ways.
94
00:03:41,749 --> 00:03:43,483
One, like some kind of nut.
95
00:03:43,414 --> 00:03:45,282
Two, like a case of
arrested development.
96
00:03:45,206 --> 00:03:46,406
Mother, you're intruding.
97
00:03:46,358 --> 00:03:47,759
On a what?
On a nothing.
98
00:03:47,703 --> 00:03:49,236
On a figment
of your imagination.
99
00:03:49,174 --> 00:03:51,809
It's my figment.
Please don't interfere.
100
00:03:51,702 --> 00:03:52,902
She's air, Waldo.
101
00:03:52,854 --> 00:03:55,823
You make her up in
that sick brain of yours.
102
00:03:55,703 --> 00:03:59,472
All these centuries,
pining over one skinny witch.
103
00:03:59,319 --> 00:04:01,687
I have a right
to lead my own life.
104
00:04:01,591 --> 00:04:02,591
Then lead it.
105
00:04:02,551 --> 00:04:04,219
Do something.
106
00:04:04,152 --> 00:04:05,652
I will.
107
00:04:06,583 --> 00:04:08,084
I promise you.
108
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,134
[
]
109
00:04:17,209 --> 00:04:20,044
[NARRATOR READING
ON-SCREEN TEXT]
110
00:04:19,929 --> 00:04:21,830
[
]
111
00:04:56,669 --> 00:04:59,638
[
]
112
00:05:02,750 --> 00:05:05,251
[
]
113
00:05:06,558 --> 00:05:07,991
Sweetheart?
114
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:11,427
Has room service come yet?
115
00:05:11,359 --> 00:05:12,692
No, not yet.
116
00:05:12,638 --> 00:05:14,539
Oh, dear. I'm afraid
I'm only gonna have time
117
00:05:14,463 --> 00:05:15,797
for a cup of coffee.
118
00:05:15,743 --> 00:05:18,311
I thought the witching hour
started at midnight.
119
00:05:18,207 --> 00:05:20,075
Yes, well, huh, Mother put me
120
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,600
on the Ways and Means Committee.
121
00:05:21,535 --> 00:05:23,236
She's the chairman.
122
00:05:23,168 --> 00:05:25,069
If she's the chairman,
it should be called
123
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:27,159
the Ways to be Mean Committee.
124
00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:29,861
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
MAN: Room service!
125
00:05:29,793 --> 00:05:30,659
Come in.
126
00:05:30,624 --> 00:05:32,125
[
]
[DOOR OPENS]
127
00:05:34,464 --> 00:05:36,232
Now, you certainly
took your time.
128
00:05:36,161 --> 00:05:38,195
You don't like it, go back
where you came from.
129
00:05:39,745 --> 00:05:41,045
[CHUCKLES]
130
00:05:40,993 --> 00:05:42,994
I tipped the waiter
to let me do it.
131
00:05:42,914 --> 00:05:44,548
Ha-ha. Funny, huh?
132
00:05:44,482 --> 00:05:47,117
[LAUGHING]
133
00:05:47,010 --> 00:05:48,851
[LAUGHTER SLOWS
AWKWARDLY]
134
00:05:50,530 --> 00:05:52,131
I'll let you know in a minute.
135
00:05:52,067 --> 00:05:53,568
What are you doing here?
136
00:05:53,507 --> 00:05:55,040
Well, knowing that
you'd be anxious
137
00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:57,147
to show me your progress
on the Blakely account,
138
00:05:57,059 --> 00:05:58,793
I gladly sacrificed my time
139
00:05:58,723 --> 00:06:00,091
to come up here to see you.
140
00:06:00,036 --> 00:06:01,602
But I thought we agreed
yesterday
141
00:06:01,539 --> 00:06:02,806
that you weren't coming up.
142
00:06:02,755 --> 00:06:03,789
That was yesterday.
143
00:06:03,748 --> 00:06:05,916
We can't keep
living in the past.
144
00:06:05,828 --> 00:06:08,496
I-I don't quite follow that.
145
00:06:08,388 --> 00:06:10,189
What he means is
we can't keep living
146
00:06:10,117 --> 00:06:11,651
in the past because
he's too busy
147
00:06:11,589 --> 00:06:13,222
bothering us in the present.
148
00:06:14,149 --> 00:06:16,183
Now, here are the roughs
of my presentation.
149
00:06:16,101 --> 00:06:17,836
Take them back
with my blessings.
150
00:06:17,766 --> 00:06:20,301
Now, don't think I don't
appreciate this,
151
00:06:20,198 --> 00:06:21,864
but who can do
a better selling-job
152
00:06:21,797 --> 00:06:23,999
than the man
who created these gems?
153
00:06:23,910 --> 00:06:25,210
Sorry.
154
00:06:25,158 --> 00:06:27,026
Oh, what's wrong with
picking up a fat bonus
155
00:06:26,950 --> 00:06:28,617
while you're on vacation?
156
00:06:28,550 --> 00:06:29,951
Blakely digs you.
157
00:06:29,895 --> 00:06:31,962
He likes your kind of pizzazz.
158
00:06:31,878 --> 00:06:33,746
I'm all pizzazzed out.
159
00:06:33,671 --> 00:06:35,605
That's why I'm on vacation.
160
00:06:35,527 --> 00:06:37,562
Sweetheart, if you'd really like
161
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:38,780
to go back for just
a day or two,
162
00:06:38,728 --> 00:06:39,928
I wouldn't mind.
163
00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:42,482
It's that kind of
loyalty that makes me
164
00:06:42,376 --> 00:06:43,909
proud to be an American.
165
00:06:43,848 --> 00:06:45,216
Ah, you...
166
00:06:45,161 --> 00:06:47,495
You fellas figure it out.
I have some family business.
167
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:50,202
Now, I'll meet you back here
at 1:00 for lunch, okay?
168
00:06:50,089 --> 00:06:51,823
Bye-bye, Larry.
Bye, Sam.
169
00:06:53,001 --> 00:06:54,401
How about it, friend?
170
00:06:55,625 --> 00:06:57,093
Oh, aren't you gonna
eat anything
171
00:06:57,034 --> 00:06:58,433
after all the trouble I went to?
172
00:06:58,377 --> 00:06:59,778
Nope.
173
00:06:59,721 --> 00:07:01,722
I'm off to see
the sights of Salem.
174
00:07:01,641 --> 00:07:02,908
Now, that's what I mean.
175
00:07:02,858 --> 00:07:05,293
Even the way you said that,
it's got a ring to it.
176
00:07:05,194 --> 00:07:07,962
Just a couple of days, Darrin.
For crying out...
177
00:07:07,850 --> 00:07:09,784
DARRIN: You know, I've
been learning a lot
178
00:07:09,706 --> 00:07:11,074
about early American history.
179
00:07:11,019 --> 00:07:12,285
Now, isn't it fascinating
180
00:07:12,234 --> 00:07:14,202
that one of Nathaniel
Hawthorne's ancestors
181
00:07:14,123 --> 00:07:17,225
actually presided at
the Salem witchcraft trials?
182
00:07:17,099 --> 00:07:19,067
Speaking of witchcraft,
183
00:07:18,988 --> 00:07:21,489
that's what it's going to take
to save the Blakely account.
184
00:07:21,387 --> 00:07:22,988
[CAMERA CLICKS]
185
00:07:22,924 --> 00:07:24,057
DARRIN:
Get over there.
186
00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:25,812
I'll take your picture
with Roger Conant.
187
00:07:25,740 --> 00:07:27,474
He led one of the first groups
188
00:07:27,404 --> 00:07:29,605
to settle in Salem in 1626.
189
00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:31,851
That old boy goes way back.
190
00:07:31,757 --> 00:07:33,625
What about our friendship?
191
00:07:33,549 --> 00:07:35,216
That goes way back too.
192
00:07:35,149 --> 00:07:36,716
Why don't you think about that?
193
00:07:36,653 --> 00:07:39,588
[
]
194
00:07:39,469 --> 00:07:41,170
[SEAGULLS CAWING]
195
00:07:42,957 --> 00:07:44,058
Go on. Take it.
196
00:07:44,014 --> 00:07:45,247
You can call it,
197
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:48,567
"Man Begging in Front of
House of Seven Gables."
198
00:07:48,430 --> 00:07:49,764
A half day.
199
00:07:49,711 --> 00:07:52,145
Come back for one half day.
200
00:07:52,046 --> 00:07:53,113
No.
201
00:07:53,070 --> 00:07:55,639
This is my first
vacation in four years,
202
00:07:55,535 --> 00:07:57,202
and you're not gonna
bully me out of it
203
00:07:57,135 --> 00:07:58,969
or wheedle me out of it.
204
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,129
But now I mean it, Larry.
205
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,981
I am staying
right here in Salem.
206
00:08:01,904 --> 00:08:02,937
Period.
207
00:08:02,896 --> 00:08:04,096
End of discussion.
208
00:08:04,048 --> 00:08:06,216
Darrin, let's not
beat around the bush.
209
00:08:06,128 --> 00:08:08,395
I want a definite answer.
210
00:08:08,304 --> 00:08:11,007
If you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna buy some more film.
211
00:08:10,897 --> 00:08:12,497
Fine.
212
00:08:12,433 --> 00:08:14,534
I'll be waiting patiently.
213
00:08:21,266 --> 00:08:23,000
[
]
214
00:08:30,514 --> 00:08:32,449
FANTASY SAMANTHA:
I love you, Waldo.
215
00:08:32,371 --> 00:08:34,771
I love you more than
life itself.
216
00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:37,291
Tell me more.
217
00:08:37,235 --> 00:08:40,437
Don't think that I haven't
paid the price in loneliness.
218
00:08:40,307 --> 00:08:42,576
WALDO: Perhaps we shouldn't
be meeting like this.
219
00:08:42,484 --> 00:08:44,485
We shouldn't?
220
00:08:44,404 --> 00:08:46,971
But our lives are
full of "shouldn'ts."
221
00:08:46,868 --> 00:08:49,237
Can a star stop twinkling?
222
00:08:49,141 --> 00:08:51,242
Can a bird stop singing?
223
00:08:53,653 --> 00:08:54,653
Oh!
224
00:08:55,574 --> 00:08:56,740
I'm sorry.
225
00:08:57,557 --> 00:08:59,157
Where are you going?
226
00:08:59,093 --> 00:09:01,429
There's supposed to be
a grape arbor through there.
227
00:09:01,334 --> 00:09:02,600
Well, they're out of season.
228
00:09:02,549 --> 00:09:05,084
Uh, ju... Just a lot
of naked vines.
229
00:09:04,982 --> 00:09:06,517
Let's get out of here.
Uh...
230
00:09:06,455 --> 00:09:08,221
Boy, you're really
upset, aren't you?
231
00:09:08,150 --> 00:09:09,551
Upset? Me?
232
00:09:09,495 --> 00:09:11,496
Ha-ha.
About what?
233
00:09:11,415 --> 00:09:14,618
About my refusing to help out
with the Blakely account.
234
00:09:14,488 --> 00:09:17,823
I'm sorry I made such
a federal case out of it.
235
00:09:17,688 --> 00:09:18,921
[SIGHS]
236
00:09:18,871 --> 00:09:20,839
I'll go back if
it's that important.
237
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,627
You will not.
238
00:09:22,551 --> 00:09:24,419
You stick to your guns, boy.
239
00:09:24,344 --> 00:09:26,445
You haven't had
a vacation in four years,
240
00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:28,795
and you're not gonna
let me bully you out of it
241
00:09:28,697 --> 00:09:30,532
or wheedle you out of it.
242
00:09:30,458 --> 00:09:32,892
You're staying
right here in Salem...
243
00:09:32,793 --> 00:09:33,993
with Samantha.
244
00:09:33,945 --> 00:09:35,279
And furthermore...
245
00:09:35,225 --> 00:09:40,396
Perhaps if I met her husband
and learned to hate him...
246
00:09:40,186 --> 00:09:42,506
I could force myself
to get rid of him.
247
00:09:43,194 --> 00:09:45,528
[UPTEMPO LOUNGE MUSIC PLAYING]
248
00:09:45,433 --> 00:09:46,701
LARRY:
Believe me, Darrin,
249
00:09:46,651 --> 00:09:48,117
I can handle
the Blakely account.
250
00:09:48,058 --> 00:09:50,560
You don't have to
come back to New York.
251
00:09:50,458 --> 00:09:51,792
I wonder what's keeping Sam.
252
00:09:51,739 --> 00:09:53,172
Well, how should I know?
253
00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:54,448
I mean, uh...
254
00:09:54,395 --> 00:09:55,929
why'd you ask me that?
255
00:09:55,867 --> 00:09:57,401
It was just
a rhetorical question.
256
00:09:57,339 --> 00:09:58,939
I-I didn't expect an answer.
257
00:09:58,875 --> 00:10:00,709
Ah, here she is.
258
00:10:00,635 --> 00:10:02,036
Hi, sweetheart.
Sorry I'm late.
259
00:10:01,980 --> 00:10:03,114
Mwah.
260
00:10:03,068 --> 00:10:04,168
Forgive me, Larry.
261
00:10:04,124 --> 00:10:05,124
I'll try.
262
00:10:05,084 --> 00:10:06,818
Another martini, please.
263
00:10:06,748 --> 00:10:09,984
Oh. Shopping in
this town is impossible.
264
00:10:09,853 --> 00:10:11,921
I thought you were
visiting relatives.
265
00:10:11,838 --> 00:10:14,439
That's why I was
visiting relatives.
266
00:10:14,333 --> 00:10:16,067
Talk, talk, talk.
267
00:10:15,997 --> 00:10:18,031
Oh, I am ravenous.
268
00:10:17,949 --> 00:10:20,250
Did you do a lot of sightseeing?
269
00:10:20,157 --> 00:10:21,392
Enough.
270
00:10:21,343 --> 00:10:22,942
More than enough.
271
00:10:22,877 --> 00:10:24,212
What did you see?
272
00:10:24,159 --> 00:10:25,359
What did I see?
273
00:10:27,006 --> 00:10:29,908
Well, what do you see
when you sightsee?
274
00:10:29,791 --> 00:10:31,125
Sights.
275
00:10:31,071 --> 00:10:32,471
Oh. Yeah, well...
276
00:10:32,415 --> 00:10:33,949
WALDO:
Hello, Samantha.
277
00:10:33,887 --> 00:10:36,054
[COUGHS]
Oh. Waldo.
278
00:10:35,967 --> 00:10:38,068
Uh, Waldo, I'd like you
to meet my husband.
279
00:10:37,983 --> 00:10:39,551
This is Darrin.
How do you do?
280
00:10:39,488 --> 00:10:41,522
This is Larry Tate.
How do you do?
281
00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:45,581
I've heard so much
about you, Darrin.
282
00:10:45,504 --> 00:10:47,672
May I say that you are
a very, very lucky man.
283
00:10:48,801 --> 00:10:50,835
Oh, Waldo and I are old friends.
284
00:10:50,753 --> 00:10:53,588
We practically grew up together.
285
00:10:53,473 --> 00:10:55,040
Like brother and sister.
286
00:10:54,977 --> 00:10:56,444
[COUGHING]
287
00:10:59,554 --> 00:11:00,921
I'm sorry.
288
00:11:00,866 --> 00:11:03,147
It just went down the wrong way.
289
00:11:04,194 --> 00:11:06,529
Waldo, if you don't mind,
290
00:11:06,435 --> 00:11:08,770
we were just about
to order lunch.
291
00:11:08,675 --> 00:11:10,409
Splendid.
I'm famished.
292
00:11:11,683 --> 00:11:12,683
Well...
293
00:11:13,827 --> 00:11:15,495
isn't this cozy?
294
00:11:17,827 --> 00:11:19,528
If you'll excuse me.
295
00:11:20,484 --> 00:11:22,285
I don't feel very well.
296
00:11:22,212 --> 00:11:24,814
I'm going up to
my room and lie down.
297
00:11:24,709 --> 00:11:26,910
Oh, I-I'm sorry, Larry.
298
00:11:26,821 --> 00:11:28,287
Anything I can do?
299
00:11:28,228 --> 00:11:30,129
I certainly hope so.
300
00:11:37,573 --> 00:11:39,341
What's the matter with him?
301
00:11:39,270 --> 00:11:42,272
I don't know. He's just
a bundle of nerves.
302
00:11:44,455 --> 00:11:46,189
S-sweetheart...
303
00:11:46,119 --> 00:11:48,286
maybe you should go up
and see if he's all right.
304
00:11:48,198 --> 00:11:50,399
Yeah, I guess so.
305
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:51,911
Excuse me.
306
00:11:55,879 --> 00:11:57,347
[IRRITATED] Waldo.
307
00:11:57,288 --> 00:11:59,689
What's the big idea, barging in?
308
00:11:59,592 --> 00:12:00,959
[SIGHS] I just wanted to
309
00:12:00,904 --> 00:12:02,704
meet your husband,
see what you saw in him.
310
00:12:02,631 --> 00:12:04,466
Now that you've met him?
311
00:12:04,392 --> 00:12:05,892
What do you see in him?
312
00:12:06,952 --> 00:12:10,121
Tsk. Honestly.
313
00:12:09,993 --> 00:12:11,727
[
]
[GROANS]
314
00:12:11,657 --> 00:12:13,992
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
315
00:12:13,898 --> 00:12:14,898
Who is it?
316
00:12:14,858 --> 00:12:16,258
It's Darrin.
317
00:12:17,674 --> 00:12:19,308
Darrin, what are you
doing up here?
318
00:12:19,242 --> 00:12:22,144
You should be downstairs
with them eating your lunch.
319
00:12:22,026 --> 00:12:23,026
What for?
320
00:12:22,986 --> 00:12:24,720
Well, I... I...
321
00:12:24,650 --> 00:12:27,252
I, uh... Well, if you
don't, a stranger's
322
00:12:27,147 --> 00:12:29,114
going to have to
pick up our check.
323
00:12:29,035 --> 00:12:31,203
Larry.
324
00:12:31,115 --> 00:12:33,417
What's bothering you?
325
00:12:33,324 --> 00:12:35,024
Bothering me?
Nothing's bothering me.
326
00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:37,023
It's what's bothering you
that's bothering me.
327
00:12:36,940 --> 00:12:39,221
You're not making sense.
328
00:12:39,788 --> 00:12:42,656
Okay. Then here it is
in a nutshell.
329
00:12:44,365 --> 00:12:46,432
Yes?
330
00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:47,848
I don't want to get involved.
331
00:12:50,221 --> 00:12:51,721
In what?
332
00:12:52,717 --> 00:12:54,552
Well, let's put it another way.
333
00:12:54,478 --> 00:12:56,512
If Sam, for example,
334
00:12:56,430 --> 00:12:57,998
happened to run into
an old friend
335
00:12:57,934 --> 00:13:00,202
like Waldo, for example,
336
00:13:00,111 --> 00:13:03,246
at the House of Seven Gables,
for example,
337
00:13:03,119 --> 00:13:06,755
that doesn't necessarily mean
what you think it means.
338
00:13:06,607 --> 00:13:08,441
When did you see them there?
339
00:13:08,367 --> 00:13:09,634
When we were sightseeing.
340
00:13:10,575 --> 00:13:11,875
On the other hand,
341
00:13:11,823 --> 00:13:14,225
it could have been somebody
that looked like her.
342
00:13:14,128 --> 00:13:15,728
Why didn't I think
of that before?
343
00:13:15,663 --> 00:13:17,331
It was somebody
that looked like her.
344
00:13:17,264 --> 00:13:18,464
The light was bad,
345
00:13:18,416 --> 00:13:21,451
and I didn't see
what I thought I saw.
346
00:13:21,328 --> 00:13:24,463
So forget the whole thing.
Go down, enjoy your lunch.
347
00:13:24,336 --> 00:13:25,370
[SIGHS]
348
00:13:25,328 --> 00:13:27,329
Where you going?
349
00:13:27,249 --> 00:13:30,151
I'm sure there's
a simple explanation
350
00:13:30,033 --> 00:13:31,767
to whatever you saw...
351
00:13:31,697 --> 00:13:33,365
so I'm gonna take your advice
352
00:13:33,298 --> 00:13:34,297
and finish my lunch.
353
00:13:34,257 --> 00:13:35,791
[
]
354
00:13:35,729 --> 00:13:37,230
[DOOR CLOSES]
355
00:13:41,202 --> 00:13:43,837
[
]
356
00:13:43,730 --> 00:13:44,964
Are you ready for lunch?
357
00:13:44,915 --> 00:13:47,282
Waldo, I can't
have lunch with you.
358
00:13:47,186 --> 00:13:49,821
I really should go upstairs.
359
00:13:49,714 --> 00:13:52,316
And remember,
none of your tricks.
360
00:13:52,211 --> 00:13:54,713
My mother won't like it,
but I promise you, Samantha,
361
00:13:54,612 --> 00:13:56,312
none of my tricks.
362
00:13:56,243 --> 00:13:57,910
Thank you. Excuse me.
363
00:14:00,148 --> 00:14:01,668
Good afternoon.
Good afternoon.
364
00:14:11,445 --> 00:14:13,280
Waiter, two more
of the same, please.
365
00:14:20,022 --> 00:14:22,223
[
]
366
00:14:27,479 --> 00:14:28,846
So...
367
00:14:28,791 --> 00:14:31,260
her husband is
decent and loving.
368
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:32,459
What about me?
369
00:14:32,407 --> 00:14:36,077
You are intelligent
and sensitive
370
00:14:35,928 --> 00:14:37,062
and vibrant.
371
00:14:37,016 --> 00:14:39,583
That's much better than being
372
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:41,614
decent and loving.
373
00:14:42,744 --> 00:14:45,446
Then shall we away
to our rendezvous?
374
00:14:45,337 --> 00:14:47,238
You're not "awaying" anyplace.
375
00:14:47,161 --> 00:14:48,662
I want a full explanation of
376
00:14:48,602 --> 00:14:50,436
what's going on here,
or I'm gonna bust...
377
00:14:50,362 --> 00:14:52,363
Oh, stop crowing.
378
00:14:52,282 --> 00:14:53,415
I'm sorry, Samantha,
379
00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:55,304
but I do detest violence.
380
00:14:55,225 --> 00:14:56,492
You had to protect yourself.
381
00:14:56,442 --> 00:14:58,109
[CROW CAWING]
382
00:15:00,986 --> 00:15:03,120
That does it. I quit.
383
00:15:04,666 --> 00:15:07,702
But, Larry, if Darrin left
your room five minutes ago,
384
00:15:07,579 --> 00:15:08,912
where did he go?
385
00:15:08,859 --> 00:15:10,193
He's not in our room.
386
00:15:10,139 --> 00:15:12,440
Well, maybe it's just as well.
387
00:15:12,347 --> 00:15:14,548
Ah, he wasn't
very hungry anyway.
388
00:15:14,459 --> 00:15:16,494
What?
Uh, nothing.
389
00:15:16,412 --> 00:15:18,680
Larry, how are you feeling?
390
00:15:18,588 --> 00:15:20,789
Oh, my... My throat's still
bothering me a little.
391
00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:21,934
But, uh...
392
00:15:21,885 --> 00:15:23,418
don't worry about me, Sam.
393
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:25,291
I'll be all right.
394
00:15:25,213 --> 00:15:27,093
Well, is there anything
I can do to help?
395
00:15:28,348 --> 00:15:31,151
Just, uh, be good to each other.
396
00:15:32,669 --> 00:15:34,970
Well, uh, we'll certainly try.
397
00:15:34,877 --> 00:15:36,044
Uh, bye.
398
00:15:35,997 --> 00:15:37,831
[LINE CLICKS DEAD] [
]
399
00:15:39,198 --> 00:15:40,798
[CROW CAWING]
400
00:15:56,192 --> 00:15:57,192
[CAWING]
401
00:16:06,912 --> 00:16:08,680
Darrin.
402
00:16:08,609 --> 00:16:10,543
Darrin, is that you?
403
00:16:10,465 --> 00:16:11,665
[CAWING]
404
00:16:15,778 --> 00:16:17,879
Oh, you poor dear.
405
00:16:19,139 --> 00:16:22,608
I-I... I don't blame you
for being upset.
406
00:16:22,467 --> 00:16:25,536
A-and somebody is gonna
pay for this, believe me.
407
00:16:25,411 --> 00:16:26,977
Mother!
408
00:16:26,914 --> 00:16:28,315
[CAWING]
409
00:16:32,260 --> 00:16:33,593
Darrin.
410
00:16:33,539 --> 00:16:34,773
Darrin.
411
00:16:34,724 --> 00:16:36,224
[CAWING]
412
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:37,964
Well, uh, don't be mad at me.
413
00:16:37,892 --> 00:16:39,292
I had nothing to do with it.
414
00:16:39,235 --> 00:16:41,170
[CAWING]
415
00:16:49,669 --> 00:16:51,036
[CAWING]
416
00:16:52,838 --> 00:16:54,805
I-I-I'm sorry, sweetheart.
417
00:16:54,725 --> 00:16:56,826
But I... I only did that
for your own good.
418
00:16:56,742 --> 00:16:58,577
Believe me.
419
00:16:58,503 --> 00:16:59,436
[CAWING]
420
00:16:59,398 --> 00:17:00,932
Now, you be patient.
421
00:17:00,871 --> 00:17:03,873
And tonight at the convention,
I'll get to the bottom of this.
422
00:17:04,839 --> 00:17:06,874
[APPLAUSE]
423
00:17:09,799 --> 00:17:12,434
And now for my next encore...
424
00:17:12,328 --> 00:17:13,895
I should like to recite
425
00:17:13,831 --> 00:17:15,899
one of the loveliest
incantations
426
00:17:15,816 --> 00:17:16,983
of our literature:
427
00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:20,571
The spell to bring on
an April shower.
428
00:17:20,424 --> 00:17:22,759
Try this for an encore, Mother.
429
00:17:22,664 --> 00:17:24,498
Please, Samantha.
[CROW CAWING]
430
00:17:24,424 --> 00:17:25,591
I work alone.
431
00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:27,579
Oh, come on. Show them
how clever you are.
432
00:17:27,497 --> 00:17:29,798
Oh, stop waving that
ridiculous bird at me...
433
00:17:29,705 --> 00:17:32,907
Don't you call my husband
a ridiculous bird.
434
00:17:32,777 --> 00:17:35,812
That's Durwood? Oh-ho.
435
00:17:35,689 --> 00:17:37,890
How perfectly divine.
436
00:17:37,801 --> 00:17:40,370
Well, I am not amused.
437
00:17:40,266 --> 00:17:42,200
Now, put him back
the way you found him.
438
00:17:42,122 --> 00:17:43,522
I didn't do it, sweetheart.
439
00:17:43,466 --> 00:17:46,568
Not that I wouldn't have,
had I thought of it.
440
00:17:47,435 --> 00:17:49,135
Well, then...
441
00:17:49,066 --> 00:17:50,100
who did?
442
00:17:50,059 --> 00:17:52,461
I don't know.
But whoever it was,
443
00:17:52,364 --> 00:17:54,865
let's have an ovation for him.
444
00:17:54,764 --> 00:17:56,665
[APPLAUSE] ENDORA: Yes!
445
00:17:56,588 --> 00:17:59,223
You should be ashamed
of yourselves.
446
00:17:59,116 --> 00:18:00,183
All of you!
447
00:18:00,141 --> 00:18:03,777
You call yourselves
decent witches?
448
00:18:03,629 --> 00:18:06,431
Bullies, that's what you are!
449
00:18:06,317 --> 00:18:08,651
Where's your sense
of humor, Samantha?
450
00:18:08,557 --> 00:18:11,893
It's just a little
convention high jinks.
451
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:15,861
We're no worse than
the Shriners or the Elks.
452
00:18:15,694 --> 00:18:17,562
SAMANTHA: Well, I don't
think it's funny.
453
00:18:17,487 --> 00:18:21,356
And I want whoever
did it to undo it.
454
00:18:21,198 --> 00:18:22,432
Pronto!
455
00:18:26,447 --> 00:18:27,714
[MAGIC BOOMS]
456
00:18:27,663 --> 00:18:28,897
Well, what...?
457
00:18:28,848 --> 00:18:30,982
Well, what happened?
Where did they go?
458
00:18:30,895 --> 00:18:33,296
Uh, I-I'm sorry,
sweetheart,
459
00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:35,801
but, uh, they consider this
hallowed ground.
460
00:18:35,696 --> 00:18:37,496
And... well,
you're a...
461
00:18:37,423 --> 00:18:39,792
I know what I am.
462
00:18:39,696 --> 00:18:42,264
Now get me back to
the hotel on the double.
463
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:43,727
Uh, yes, Darrin.
464
00:18:47,217 --> 00:18:49,718
[
]
465
00:18:51,857 --> 00:18:53,024
What are you doing?
466
00:18:52,978 --> 00:18:54,979
What I was doing
when I was a bird.
467
00:18:54,898 --> 00:18:56,132
Except faster.
468
00:18:56,082 --> 00:18:58,349
Don't you think
I deserve an explanation?
469
00:18:58,258 --> 00:19:00,794
This afternoon, Larry saw you
470
00:19:00,691 --> 00:19:02,825
and Waldo the warlock
471
00:19:02,739 --> 00:19:04,206
at the House of Seven Gables.
472
00:19:04,147 --> 00:19:05,581
Waldo and me?
473
00:19:05,523 --> 00:19:07,224
That's impossible.
474
00:19:07,156 --> 00:19:08,790
I don't wanna talk
about it anymore.
475
00:19:08,724 --> 00:19:11,091
And I'll go home, cool off
and forgive you.
476
00:19:12,627 --> 00:19:13,961
In a year or two.
477
00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:16,451
Maybe.
478
00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:19,340
[
]
479
00:19:19,221 --> 00:19:22,123
And you're not even going
to demand an explanation?
480
00:19:23,124 --> 00:19:26,060
Okay. I demand
an explanation.
481
00:19:25,941 --> 00:19:27,975
That's better.
482
00:19:27,893 --> 00:19:30,395
Well, go on. Explain.
483
00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:31,694
I can't.
484
00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:33,939
B-but I know
someone who can.
485
00:19:33,845 --> 00:19:35,879
Waldo?
486
00:19:35,797 --> 00:19:37,498
Waldo.
487
00:19:37,430 --> 00:19:39,870
Front and center.
488
00:19:40,759 --> 00:19:42,639
I was expecting your call.
489
00:19:43,351 --> 00:19:45,819
First, may I apologize
490
00:19:45,719 --> 00:19:46,819
for the bird business?
491
00:19:46,775 --> 00:19:50,177
Thanks. From the bottom
of my beak.
492
00:19:51,191 --> 00:19:53,426
Waldo, rumor hath it
493
00:19:53,336 --> 00:19:54,869
that you and I
were seen cavorting
494
00:19:54,807 --> 00:19:56,475
at the House of
Seven Gables today.
495
00:19:56,408 --> 00:19:58,775
Now, I'm gonna ask you nicely
496
00:19:58,679 --> 00:20:00,547
to explain that rumor...
497
00:20:00,472 --> 00:20:04,742
quickly, or I will zap you
into another century.
498
00:20:04,569 --> 00:20:05,903
All right.
499
00:20:05,849 --> 00:20:07,683
I was going to explain anyway.
500
00:20:07,609 --> 00:20:09,810
Sir.
501
00:20:09,721 --> 00:20:11,822
You have your Samantha...
502
00:20:11,737 --> 00:20:13,305
and I have mine.
503
00:20:16,154 --> 00:20:19,795
WALDO: Real to
nobody but myself.
504
00:20:23,259 --> 00:20:25,927
Heh. It's a foolish
fantasy, I know.
505
00:20:25,819 --> 00:20:28,054
But I assure you,
a harmless one.
506
00:20:27,964 --> 00:20:29,530
Oh, Waldo.
507
00:20:29,467 --> 00:20:32,169
It's been almost an hour
since I've seen you.
508
00:20:32,059 --> 00:20:34,327
I've been so lonesome and sad.
509
00:20:34,236 --> 00:20:36,371
Oh, I love you so, Waldo.
510
00:20:36,284 --> 00:20:39,986
I love you with
all my heart and soul.
511
00:20:39,836 --> 00:20:41,838
I love you...
All right.
512
00:20:41,757 --> 00:20:43,223
All right.
That's enough.
513
00:20:44,220 --> 00:20:45,254
Who's that?
514
00:20:46,461 --> 00:20:47,595
Sam.
515
00:20:47,549 --> 00:20:50,284
I'm... I'm sorry.
516
00:20:50,174 --> 00:20:52,108
I'm not.
517
00:20:52,030 --> 00:20:54,150
You're beautiful
when you're jealous.
518
00:20:54,847 --> 00:20:56,947
I knocked, but nobody answered.
519
00:20:56,862 --> 00:20:58,930
Oh, Waldo.
520
00:20:58,846 --> 00:21:01,281
I love you more than
life itself.
521
00:21:01,183 --> 00:21:03,751
I'm sorry, Sam. But this is
something I have to do.
522
00:21:03,647 --> 00:21:05,648
[
]
523
00:21:07,487 --> 00:21:08,487
[CAWING]
524
00:21:11,168 --> 00:21:12,701
Waldo.
525
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,208
Can't you do anything but crows?
526
00:21:16,256 --> 00:21:17,723
[CAWS]
527
00:21:17,665 --> 00:21:19,599
[
]
528
00:21:23,488 --> 00:21:25,657
[
]
529
00:21:27,009 --> 00:21:28,710
Shall I put him
back the way he was?
530
00:21:28,642 --> 00:21:30,275
Not yet.
531
00:21:30,209 --> 00:21:31,209
How will we
532
00:21:31,169 --> 00:21:32,470
explain this to Larry?
533
00:21:32,418 --> 00:21:34,586
Well, sweetheart,
we have a choice.
534
00:21:34,498 --> 00:21:36,232
We could tell him I was having
535
00:21:36,162 --> 00:21:37,996
a mad, impetuous fling.
536
00:21:37,922 --> 00:21:39,489
[CROW CAWS] Sure.
537
00:21:39,426 --> 00:21:42,128
Or we could tell him...
538
00:21:42,019 --> 00:21:43,552
I'm a witch.
539
00:21:43,490 --> 00:21:45,658
Yeah, that would be terrific.
540
00:21:45,571 --> 00:21:46,839
Or...
541
00:21:46,788 --> 00:21:50,090
we could tell him
that was Serena he saw.
542
00:21:49,956 --> 00:21:51,523
That will do it.
543
00:21:51,460 --> 00:21:53,427
Okay, Waldo.
Let's have a Serena.
544
00:21:53,347 --> 00:21:55,449
Must I, Samantha?
545
00:21:55,364 --> 00:21:57,632
I'm not very fond
of your cousin.
546
00:21:57,541 --> 00:21:59,475
Oh, please, Waldo.
547
00:21:59,397 --> 00:22:02,031
A... A blond Serena
dressed just like this.
548
00:22:01,924 --> 00:22:03,993
Like your fantasy Samantha.
549
00:22:03,909 --> 00:22:05,142
Well, that's easier.
550
00:22:05,093 --> 00:22:07,094
[MAGICAL CHIMING]
551
00:22:10,726 --> 00:22:11,892
Yeah. That's
good enough.
552
00:22:11,845 --> 00:22:12,966
Now do him.
553
00:22:15,910 --> 00:22:17,411
What happened?
554
00:22:17,351 --> 00:22:19,618
Uh, well,
uh, y-you led
555
00:22:19,526 --> 00:22:21,461
with a right
cross. And, uh...
556
00:22:21,383 --> 00:22:24,351
And... And Waldo countered
with a karate chop.
557
00:22:24,231 --> 00:22:27,934
He's a very dangerous
uh, person, you know.
558
00:22:27,783 --> 00:22:28,984
I didn't feel a thing.
559
00:22:28,936 --> 00:22:31,097
That's what makes him
so dangerous.
560
00:22:32,072 --> 00:22:34,807
I didn't realize before.
You know something?
561
00:22:34,696 --> 00:22:37,064
When you're knocked out,
you dream.
562
00:22:36,968 --> 00:22:38,736
I thought I was a crow.
563
00:22:40,393 --> 00:22:42,494
Where is he?
I may be down...
564
00:22:42,409 --> 00:22:44,010
but I'm not out.
565
00:22:43,946 --> 00:22:45,913
I'm sorry for the little
566
00:22:45,833 --> 00:22:47,467
misunderstanding, sir.
567
00:22:47,401 --> 00:22:49,935
Oh. May I present
my friend, Serena?
568
00:22:49,833 --> 00:22:51,668
Hi, cotton top.
569
00:22:51,594 --> 00:22:54,629
Serena, your...
Your hair.
570
00:22:54,506 --> 00:22:57,408
Someone said blonds
have more fun.
571
00:22:57,290 --> 00:22:59,424
I thought I'd
find out. Hm-hm.
572
00:23:00,618 --> 00:23:02,252
[LAUGHING]
573
00:23:02,187 --> 00:23:05,423
Oh, Serena.
It was you all the time.
574
00:23:05,291 --> 00:23:06,858
And I thought that...
575
00:23:06,795 --> 00:23:08,796
A perfectly
understandable mistake.
576
00:23:08,715 --> 00:23:11,117
Hm. And you proved
your loyalty.
577
00:23:11,020 --> 00:23:13,254
Uh, where have you two
girls been? To a costume ball?
578
00:23:13,164 --> 00:23:14,698
That's right.
579
00:23:14,636 --> 00:23:15,703
Serena.
580
00:23:15,661 --> 00:23:18,329
I can't tell you
how glad I am to see you.
581
00:23:18,220 --> 00:23:19,254
[MAGIC CHIMING]
582
00:23:22,253 --> 00:23:24,688
[
]
583
00:23:31,630 --> 00:23:34,331
I don't feel very good.
584
00:23:34,222 --> 00:23:36,857
Could somebody bring me a drink?
585
00:23:36,750 --> 00:23:38,991
How about some Old Crow?
586
00:23:41,519 --> 00:23:42,519
[
]
587
00:23:42,479 --> 00:23:43,519
[GIGGLES]
588
00:24:43,988 --> 00:24:46,423
[
]
589
00:24:46,473 --> 00:24:51,023
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