Original subtitles

"Tonight on" Baywatch:

I'm an actress. My name's Lena.

Hi, Lena. I'm Mitch.

Looks like you made a new friend.

She's a doll, huh?

I'm leaning towards settling down.

Hobie needs brothers and sisters.

No!

Stakeout at Surfrider Beach?

- Mama! - Guido!

"You told her you were" a lifeguard?

Please!

You got to do something.

Lena!

Hey, pal.

How can you make me go to school?

Look at those sets.

I know, it's cruel

and unusual punishment.

What are you writing?

A shopping list.

What do you want for dinner?

Hot dogs.

Come on, I was thinking about my famous seafood gumbo.

Yuck! Talk about cruel and unusual punishment.

You know, I've had it with your jokes about my cooking.

Why don't you just

put up or shut up?

Fine. I'll make dinner tonight.

I'm talking about a healthy, balanced, edible meal.

No hot dogs,

no frozen pizzas.

No problem. I've been taking a cooking class at school.

I get extra credit for everything I make at home.

What time do you want to eat?

6:30.

6:30 it is. See you then.

Okay, pal.

Don't study too hard.

I won't.

I love you.

Swimmer, you're in a surfer area.

Please move south.

Swimmer, you're in a surfer area.

Please move south towards the pier.

What!

Damn it!

Here. Take the can.

Thanks.

Hold on.

You okay?

You took a pretty good shot from that board out there.

It wasn't that bad.

I think it scared me more than it actually hurt.

Do me a favor... try moving your neck.

Any pain?

Oh.

Actually, yeah.

Wow...

If you want, I got a cold pack in the tower.

It will help prevent some of the swelling,

take care of the pain.

Yeah. That's a good idea.

Okay.

Yeah. God, I'm sorry.

It's okay. Come on.

Man.

Here.

Put this on your shoulder. Help the swelling go down.

Thanks.

Listen, I'm sorry about all this,

but didn't you see the signs?

This beach is for surfing only.

Oh.

No, I'm sorry.

I should have been more careful.

That's a real pretty accent. Where are you from?

Italy.

Rome?

No. I live in a small town outside of Naples.

You're on vacation?

No. I'm an actress.

Oh.

I'm here working on a film.

My name's Lena.

Hi, Lena. I'm Mitch.

I'm from Venice...

Venice, California.

Oh. The other Venice.

Hey, Guido, what's wrong?

Who's the letter from?

Mama.

Is everything all right?

No. Everything is not all right.

Mama's coming for a visit.

Why is that so bad?

Because, when she gets here, she's going to discover

that I'm... not a lifeguard.

You told her you were a lifeguard?

Guido, how could you do that?

Well, when I left my home, I promised Mama

I would become someone she would be proud of.

That's the only time

I've ever lied to her.

Who knew this was going to happen?

Did you think you were gonna get away with it?

Well, because Mama spent her entire life in the old country.

She never even left her village.

Who knew one morning she would wake up

and decide to come to America?

Well, I'm sure if you tell her the truth she'll understand.

Oh, you don't know Mama.

Telling her the truth

would be like taking a dagger and plunging it into her heart.

Everything will be okay.

"Now, Garner, I've met a million girls on this beach.

More than I can remember.

It's just that now...

Starting to come up empty for you, huh?

Yeah, yeah.

I'm just tired of doing the same old thing, you know?

Hobie needs brothers and sisters.

It's no fun growing up an only child.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

I come from a big family myself.

You know what I remember most?

What's that?

Waiting to use the bathroom.

Seriously, I think

my priorities have changed, you know?

It's not a physical thing anymore with a girl.

Kind of leaning towards... I don't know.

I'm leaning towards settling down.

It's called getting old, Mitch.

I feel the same way.

I'd settle down in a minute

if I could connect with the right woman.

Hi.

How's the shoulder?

Oh, much better. Thank you.

Good. I got an incident report I've got to fill out here.

Do you mind if I ask you a couple of questions?

Oh, no, no, not at all.

All right.

Okay. So, I know your first name is Lena.

What's your last name?

Fiori. F-i-o-r-i.

What's your address?

2000 Malibu Road.

That's a nice part of town.

I know. Unfortunately, it's only a temporary address.

I'm renting for the month.

It's always been my fantasy

to act in a Hollywood movie,

live in a Malibu beach house,

drive a brand-new Corvette...

you know, just like

Annette Funicello.

And now I have even been rescued by a handsome lifeguard.

Well, sounds like you are on a roll.

Yeah.

Okay.

Any other questions?

Uh... yeah.

One last question right here.

Um... "Would you like to have dinner

with me?"

That's a very tempting offer.

But I'm on a very tight schedule.

It's true.

I should be home right now learning my lines.

Uh, excuse me.

Was that a yes or a no?

That was a maybe.

A maybe.

A definite maybe?

Maybe.

Aha!

Ah...

I know, I know, I know.

It's a terrible habit.

I am trying to quit.

Look...

people in Europe just aren't as health conscious

as you Americans.

Oh, I'm not a vegetarian either.

Neither am I. Do we have a date?

Maybe.

Whoa, ho, ho.

Ciao!

Hey, pal.

Hey. Looks like you've made a new friend.

Maybe.

Maybe? You saying that old Buchannon charm

is starting to wear thin?

I don't know, pal. She's a doll, huh?

Ooh, nice car.

Probably has money.

Let's follow her home and find out.

Malibu Colony.

Looking good.

Don't say a word, sweetie.

Give me the keys!

Hurry up.

Let's go.

Don't scream, baby.

Yeah, but see, she's very sensitive, you know?

At this time in her life something like this could be...

Guido, I wish we could help you out, I really do,

but you know, if Mitch or Stephanie were to find out

we let you pretend to be a lifeguard

we could get suspended.

No, we can get fired.

Yeah, yeah, I understand and everything,

but, look, look... don't worry about it.

I'll just break it to her gently

and then hope that it's not too much of a shock.

When's she coming?

Huh? Oh! Her boat arrives

early tomorrow morning at the docks.

She's coming on a boat?

Mi scusi.

Could you tell me please where I could find Guido Torzini?

Mama.

Guido.

Mama.

Guido.

Mama.

Guido.

Mama.

Guido.

Oh, let me look at you.

My son, the lifeguard.

I thought you were coming in early tomorrow morning.

Oh, that was on the fishing trawler.

I took a freighter instead.

Oh, Guido,

you make your mama's dreams come true.

If only your papa could see you...

God rest his soul... he'd be so proud.

Oh, Mama, don't cry.

Come on, Mama, please, don't cry.

Control yourself.

Mama!

You're not going to introduce me

to your friends?

Huh?! Um... Mama, this is C.J. And Summer.

C.J. And Summer, this is Mama.

Hi. It's nice to meet you.

Hi.

Che bella, che bella.

You didn't tell me they were so beautiful.

Well, we better be going, but don't forget

your shift starts tomorrow morning at 7:00 sharp.

Yeah, tower 12.

It was nice to meet you, Mrs. Torzini. Bye-bye.

Bye. Ciao.

Likewise.

Guido, Guido.

Mama.

Guido.

Mama.

Guido.

Hello.

Flying in... oh!

Thank you.

What happened?

I'll clean up.

Not without federal aid.

Did you get onions?

The recipe calls for finely chopped... one?

Great. What about the parsley?

In the fridge.

All right.

What are you making, anyway?

Chicken Parisienne, Hobie-style.

This number mean anything to you?

Uh... Garner.

That's where he's at.

Oh.

Ellerbee.

Hey, buddy, what's up?

Uh, that actress you met on the beach...

well, she, uh, ran into a little trouble.

What happened?

A couple of guys broke into her house.

Looks like a follow-home.

I'll see you at the station.

Here you go.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you for coming.

It's okay.

Garner said you could use a friend.

I've never been so frightened in my life.

I thought I was going to die.

Look at my hands.

They're still shaking.

It's okay. Hey, hey!

It's okay. You're safe now.

Lena, the police forensic team's

gonna be at your house for a while.

I think it's a good idea you spend the night in a hotel.

You're right.

I don't think I'll be able to stay in that house anymore.

Okay, anything you want to pick up on the way?

Well, I haven't eaten anything all day.

Maybe I should stop and get something.

No, that's-that's no problem.

As a matter of fact, I know the perfect spot...

a little place in Venice

that specializes in experimental cuisine.

Okay, okay. Come on.

My compliments to the chef.

Where did you learn to cook like this?

Don't look at me.

It's absolutely delicious.

Thanks.

So, um, what's the name of the movie you're in?

It's called The Golden Rose of Tangier.

What's your part?

Are you, like, the star of it?

I play a harem girl who falls in love with a sheik.

Cool.

We're gonna be shooting at the beach tomorrow.

Why don't you come to the set and watch?

Oh, can I, Dad?

Sorry, pal, you already missed enough school this semester.

Oh...

your father's right.

School comes first.

Sorry.

That's okay.

What's a harem?

Uh...

go ahead.

Oh. Um...

well, you're making a movie about it.

Go ahead, tell him.

A harem, it's... every man's dream.

Still hurt, huh?

Uh... a little.

You know, where they tied me up.

A long day...

I'm sure you'd rather forget.

Oh, not entirely.

It had its high points.

Thank you.

Thank you...

for being so nice to a stranger.

I, um...

I think I better get you to your hotel.

Yeah, yeah, I think so, too.

Okay.

Oh my God! What?

I just remembered they stole my bag.

It had my money,

my credit cards, everything.

Oh.

Well, if you want, um...

you could, um...

I think I'm going to lend you the money for the hotel.

Oh, Summer... thank you

thank you, thank you.

You're welcome. You're welcome.

Stop it.

Oh, C. J!

No, you've already thanked me.

You've already thanked me.

It's time to get down to business.

You are right.

I'm sorry.

So, which tower do I get?

Well, you don't get a tower.

County regulations.

But-But Mama, she, you know...

No way, it's not going to happen.

But you can patrol the hardpack between our two towers.

Mama can watch. She's got a ringside seat.

That should work.

But now, however, there is one tiny, little catch.

What catch?

Well, before we stick our necks

out for you, we think you should get a little prepared.

Starting with a five- mile run up the beach.

What?

Let's go.

At last, you return.

Who is she?

What is the meaning of this?

You promised to make me your wife.

Cut. Cut, cut.

Why?!

Sweetheart...

the only performance I'm getting here

is from one horse.

Once more from the top, and, Lena remember,

don't slap your lover until after your line.

And Bob, don't flinch.

Once more from the top.

Okay.

Hey.

Hey. Uh, it's okay?

Yeah. Come over.

What are you doing here?

Well, actually, I'm working. The county requires a lifeguard

to be on the set when you're filming on the beach.

Good. Good, I'm glad.

Maybe you can help me with my lines.

Sure, sure. Love to.

So what do you think?

It's quite a harem.

What's all this, man?

Hey, check it out. They're shooting a movie.

No kidding, Sturgis.

Okay, okay.

Okay, people, listen up.

Here we go. Okay, Lena...

Now, remember, you're off the coast of Morocco

under a burning midday sun.

You see Ahmad for the first time

and you want to slit his throat

so you slap him.

Then as the scene unfolds, you realize

you're still in love with him, okay?

Okay. Thanks.

Let's go, people. Come on. Let's get this before lunch.

I'm dying. We're losing the light.

You're killing me, people. Let's go.

Camera rolling.

Speed. And action!

At last, you return.

Who is she?

Hey, look, man. That's her.

It's that babe from last night.

You promised to love me the rest of your life.

You promised to make me your wife.

Mitch. Mitch.

Cut, cut, cut!

Mitch, it's them... the guys who robbed me.

They're right there. It's them, Mitch.

- There. - Hey, what is the prob?

Come on, man. Come on. Let's go.

Look out, man.

Ow! Excuse me.

Easy, girl.

I only got a short look at the guy.

He's frizzy hair, surfer type, 20, 22.

Right.

You're positive these are the two men from last night?

- Yeah. - How can you be sure if

they were both wearing ski masks when they broke in?

The one with the frizzy hair, he had my lighter.

It's an antique. My grandfather gave it to me.

You saw it. Yeah, I did.

That's what I recognized.

Stakeout at Surfrider Beach?

Yeah, if I had the personnel.

You're looking at him.

First team on the set.

Yeah! I have to go get into wardrobe.

- See you later. - Yeah.

She just talked to the cops, man.

She's going to nail us.

No, she's not.

We're going to pay her another little visit

and make sure she doesn't.

Who is she?

What is the meaning of this?

That's my boy.

You must be proud.

Well, so far so good.

You know, in a way, Mrs. Torzini kind of reminds me of my mom.

I'm sorry, I don't see the resemblance.

No, it's the way she's looking at Guido. I mean,

look at her, her face is all lit up.

That's the way my mom looked at me

the first time she saw me on duty.

Ma'am, this yours?

It's your favorite, Mama...

tongue on a kaiser roll, extra mayo.

Oh.

Oh, Guido, you think of everything.

Sit down and eat, huh?

There's plenty.

Not while I'm on the job, Mom.

Keep the change.

Thanks.

Oh.

I'll save you some, huh?

Thanks, Mama.

Yeah.

Guido.

What's wrong?

There's a rip forming at the south end of the jetty.

They just called us down there.

What about me? What do I do?

Nothing. You stay here and you watch your water.

- Everything will be fine. - Yeah, but...

We'll be back as soon as we can.

Yeah, but, you know, what if a? But, uh...

yeah...

Lifeguard, I can't find my son.

He-He... he went in the water,

and now he's gone.

Please! Please!

You got to do something!

Guido...

Guido, do something!

There he is. There! Hurry!

Oh, my God, he's not breathing.

No, no, there's a pulse, there's a pulse.

Okay, everybody step back.

Are you okay?

He's going to be fine.

Oh, way to go, Guido.

I don't know what to say.

You're a hero.

Yeah, I'm a hero... I'm also in shock.

Listen, Summer, I appreciate everything you did for me,

but I quit.

I would much rather

face Mama than have to do this all over again.

Yuck.

I've heard of junk food on stakeouts

but this is ridiculous.

Since when have you been picky?

Since I found out my son's a budding five-star chef.

Hobie? He's a good cook?

Awesome.

He must have gotten that

from the other side of the family.

Probably did.

What do you think about this girl, Lena?

She's gorgeous...

and charming...

generally sexy.

You going

to see her tonight?

Yeah, yeah, I told her I'd come by and help her pack up

the rest of her things.

Mind if I tag along?

I'd like to sit down and talk with her...

see if she remembers anything else about those guys.

No problem, pal.

Let's go.

It's time to go visit our actress.

The deck looks slippery to me.

Yeah, real easy to fall off.

Rocks below... brutal.

No!

It's the van, Mitch.

I'll take the side.

You going to talk, huh?

Don't move, and don't make a sound.

What was that?

Mm-mmm.

Aw, man, let's split.

We can't. She'll talk, man.

What are we going to do, bro?

Hey, let's get rid of her.

Guido, Guido.

Mama.

Mama, I got something to tell you.

I'm not really a lifeguard.

Oh, I know.

You know? How do "you" know?

Guido, when are you going to learn

you can't fool Mama?

Can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?

Guido...

you're my baby.

I'll always love you, no matter what you do.

Besides...

we all tell little white lies every once in a while.

For instance...

in my letter, I said this was going

to be a short trip.

That wasn't exactly true.

It wasn't?

Mmm...

I've come to live with you.

Mama.

Guido.

Another day, another dollar.

50 cents after taxes.

What's happening with you and Lena?

She's going back to Italy tomorrow

after she finishes shooting her film.

I guess L.A. Was too much for her.

Easy come, easy go.

I guess it wasn't meant to be.

Hell, that's the story of my life.

Do I sense a little bit

of datelessness on your part this evening?

Got a call around lunchtime.

Her cat's sick.

Having a cat scan, huh?

Well, if it's any consolation,

the whiz kid is cooking veal scaloppini tonight.

You're invited.

Veal scaloppini?

He doesn't mess around.

What can I say?

The kid's a culinary genius.

You sure he's not adopted?

You want him?

Oh! No, no, no, no.

Let's get out of here.

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