Original subtitles

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I'm so glad you let me crash your little no boys allowed,

Amazon woman camping trip.

I can't believe we had to paddle this far out, though.

We might have to go home once Mama lesbo and the rest

Get here.

I think Sandy might be coming with the rest too.

I don't even want to hear her name.

Aren't I good enough?

Don't you love me?

Yes.

Of course I do.

Enough talk, though.

Let's have some action.

Hey John. Look at that owl.

It looks like it's watching us.

Isn't that strange?

Even the birds like to watch the birds and the bees.

[Strange voice whispering]

Hey John.

Do you know where Roselyn is?

Better be asleep in her cabin and not playing

Spy games for her friend Sandy.

John?

Carla?

Roselyn?

You'd better not tell Sandy anything about this

Or I'll make you pay.

Better get back to the cabin and mind your own business.

Hey you.

Go away, weirdo.

[Scream]

I'm Coowahchobee.

You will be my bride, White Rain.

Please don't hurt me.

What's going on here?

I hear me some mating calls.

Goddamn that Indian, Coowahchobee.

I'm so close to retirement, they'll

Never believe I didn't do this.

Hey, this is Ted at Ted's Swamp Safari.

Anybody out there copy me?

Over.

Oh, Ted? Is that you?

Hey Ron.

I just-- I heard some shooting.

I thought it was something, but it was just some hunters.

I'll take care of it.

All right.

Well, if you need me you know where I'm at.

Give me a call.

Thanks. Over.

OK.

Over and out.

Coincidence?

I think not.

But there's no doubt that foul play was behind the dozens

Of unsolved disappearances in the Everglades

Over the past 100 years.

The real question is who or what is

Behind these disappearances, and whether

Or not they are all linked to one source of evil.

Could it be a serial killer, a monster?

A skunk ape or chupacabra.

Or perhaps a brotherhood of killers linked by blood.

Legend has it that a restless Native American spirit named

Coowahchobee roamed the big cypress swamp

Since the Seminole Wars, killing hapless American tourists

Especially around Columbus Day.

Accounts of this supernatural Seminole serial killer

First began to surface at the end of those Seminole Wars

In the late 1850s, but they have persisted to the present day.

You are watching a re-creation of a devastating true life

Crime as reported by the one surviving witness.

The names and exact locations have been changed out

Of respect for the dead, but this movie

Is based on a true story.

It takes place here at a Miami Beach resort where

A group of young women prepared for the Everglades camping

Trip of a lifetime.

Hi Uncle Bill!

Sandy.

You were terrific.

Thank you.

Thanks for coming.

Now, are you sure you want to go out in the Everglades?

I mean, I think so.

I think it's going to be fun.

You know, I've been in the Everglades a lot of times.

You know it's full of alligators.

Just stay with a group.

I think you'll be OK.

Yeah, we'll stay together.

I think we'll be OK.

I appreciate the advice.

Thank you for coming. -Love you.

Bye.

Take care.

Sandy.

Hey Mama Bear.

Hey.

You're still coming with us to the Everglades, right?

I don't know.

I think I might have other plans.

Like what?

Getting your nails and your hair done?

I can't believe you'd really miss

Our famous self-empowerment camping trip.

I don't need to howl at the moon

And sing Kumbaya to feel empowered.

I know.

But it's gonna be fun.

And besides, your boy toy John might be there to come

Crash our girls-only party.

Not interested.

I'm done with that player.

Oh.

Well, Roselyn's gonna be there and your friend Carla

Might come too.

So if you're missing in action, that

Could spell trouble for you.

Like I care.

Suit yourself.

The tour guide's going to be here any minute

And I really hope you change your mind.

OK?

OK.

At camp?

Chanting louder?

Hey Roselyn.

It's me Sandy I got your text.

You're hearing chanting?

That's a little spooky.

I still haven't heard from John.

I heard he might be out there shacking up with Carla, so I

Think I might actually come out there

To see if I can catch that bastard in the act

If he is there.

I'll see you later.

Ciao.

[Menacing music]

MAMA BEAR: So guys.

It's Columbus Day weekend and as you know,

It's a three-day weekend, right?

To celebrate the birth of little baby Columbus who came over

On the Mayflower in search of some New World

Bud over half a millennium ago.

Anyway, as Amazon women, we need to celebrate our right

To head out into the Everglades and be as wild and adventurous

As any man, don't you agree?

Hey.

I decided I am going to come camping, Mama Bear.

Oh, well, that's so good!

Miss Social Calendar is going to join us!

But first thing we need to do is get out of these crazy clothes.

Please.

Yes.

The tour guides are going to pick us up in the lobby.

Let's go get changed and we'll meet there.

-Yes. -Let's do it.

Let's go.

[Playful music]

Mike!

Don't mess with me!

Help, Mama Bear!

Call off your cubs.

Don't touch the [inaudible], Mike!

She's gone loco!

Come on, Kate.

Forget about that fool.

It's time to go. The driver's here.

We have to load up to head out to the Everglades.

No, Babe.

You're staying with me tonight.

Let's spend the night.

No guys allowed, honey.

I'm sorry.

I don't think I'm going, but have a good time.

Suit yourself, lover girl.

Bye!

Take care.

[Menacing music]

Hey.

Do you know where the lobby is?

Are you deaf?

I said do you know how to get to the lobby?

Coowahchobee see you attack woman at pool.

You offend woman.

You offend Coowahchobee.

Whatever.

Say your prayers, kimo sabe.

Because I will kill you and I will

Cast your severed limbs into the ocean as sacrifice

To gods of the sea!

Get away from me.

You're crazy.

What are you doing?

[Indian drumming]

Now I will drain your body of blood

Like your people have drained my Everglades of water!

[Scream]

[Country music]

Welcome to Ted's Swamp Safari, ladies.

We're going to be driving to the Big Cypress Reservation.

We're gonna canoe out to a beautiful cabin.

You will have at your disposal hiking trips, fishing,

Canoeing, whatever you want.

And a whole lot of wildlife.

Is everyone accounted for?

Yes, we're all here.

My name's Mama Bear.

I spoke to you on the phone.

How could I forget a name like Mama Bear.

Thank you so much for the generous discount.

It's a pleasure.

Actually, Columbus Day has been notoriously slow for us.

So I was happy to give you guys a discount.

Now, without further ado, why don't we

Head out to the Big Cypress and have a killer weekend.

Come on, ladies.

I told you guys we were gonna be way out in the jungle.

This is crazy.

I can't believe we need a machete to cut us a path.

Yeah, but that's the point.

We came out here to confront our fears, to become one

With nature, and grow stronger.

Oh, shut up.

It's going to be great, you guys.

Let's go.

This is where the road ends.

From here on in, we're going to be

Paddling canoes until we get to the island

That the cabin is on.

Right this way.

OK.

Watch out for this thing.

It's gonna smack you right in the face.

I'm sure you know how to swim, Sandy.

I know, Mama Bear.

You're such a scaredy cat.

I'm not a scaredy cat!

The water is two feet.

OK.

I'm going to steer the first canoe.

Tonya, Veronica, you guys will paddle.

Mama Bear.

Yeah.

You steer the second canoe.

The other gals will all paddle.

Now, remember, if you see an alligator,

They cannot tip the canoe.

But if you freak out and fall in the water,

You're gonna be dead meat.

Oh. Wonderful.

Don't worry, girls.

You'll be fine.

We got this, girls.

It's gonna be fun!

Paddles, ladies!

My hand is stuck under the bridge!

Ow. -Don't worry, baby girl.

You didn't mess up your nails.

You guys are really not the brightest bulbs in the box,

I gotta tell ya.

Want to take a paddle?

[Shriek]

This is like Keystone Cops on canoes.

Oh my god, is that a real gator?

Yeah, that's a real gator!

Look at him!

OK, big boy.

I'll see you, OK?

Aww, bye bye.

Bye bye.

Help!

Help me!

You have to help me.

I don't know how much you know about your husband,

Coowahchobee, but I saw him.

He killed people right in front of me.

Oh please!

He has to be stopped.

He's just a disgrace to your culture.

Guys, where are we going?

This is taking forever.

I'm thirsty.

Ted, is there any water?

No, we don't need any water.

So Ted, how much longer do you think?

We're very close.

Just another 15 minutes or so.

Oh my god!

[Scream]

TED: Leave it alone.

Take it easy.

We're going to go that way.

There is a real fucking alligator.

It wasn't fucking.

MAMA BEAR: Don't panic!

Hey, hey.

Watch it, ladies.

Just calm.

Deep, cleansing breaths.

OK?

I swear that I saw that tree before.

Yeah, it does look familiar?

Are we going in circles, Ted?

Of course not.

There are millions of trees in this swamp

And some just look the same.

I don't think he knows where he's taking us.

Yeah, he said it'd be fifteen minutes like five times

Already.

I'm starting to get really worried.

Hey Ted.

How much longer?

Fifteen minutes.

I don't mean to doubt you, but you have already

Told us like five times.

As I said, we'll be there in 15 minutes.

Oh please, I promise.

You let me out of here and I will tell

No one about your Coowahchobee.

I can't believe we didn't bring any water.

Can we drink the swamp water?

No.

It'll make you sick and give you diarrhea.

I hate you, Mama Bear.

Do you think of something terrible happened and one of us

Had to run back in an emergency, that you'd be able to find

Your way back to the boat dock?

I don't know.

I've been trying to pay attention,

But it all looks the same.

And being a little bit high doesn't help either.

OK?

I'm getting a little hungry too.

Don't worry.

We'll be there soon, OK?

I hope so.

I'm scared.

I want to go home. -Don't worry.

We're safe.

We're going to get there any minute now.

Isn't that right, Ted?

TED: Yes, of course.

You all need to chill out.

We'll be at the campground--

ALL: In fifteen minutes!

This is bullshit.

I'm turning this canoe around and we are going back.

You think you know your way back?

Yeah, I think so.

What are you going to do when you get back and it's dark

And I have the keys to the truck?

You're coming with us and driving us back.

Calm down, people.

This is supposed to be fun and self-empowering,

In your own words.

You contacted me and you signed up for Ted's Swamp Safari

And this is part of it.

Now, if you wanted to stay around

And lay at the pool in South Beach,

You should have stayed home.

Now this is a chance for you to grow

And have a great experience.

Now do you want to continue or do you want to sit here

And cry like babies and go home?

All right.

Let's just go.

Come on. Whatever.

Good.

Now let's go.

OK, fine.

Whatever.

All right.

Let's just keep going.

We're here.

All right, ladies.

Let me take you to the cabin so you can get settled in.

So uh, Ted.

Is there anyone else in the cabin this weekend?

There was another couple here, but they left,

So you guys are going to have the cabin to yourself

For the whole weekend.

Good.

Home, sweet home.

Nice.

It's really, really nice.

This is better than I expected.

Come on.

I'm excited.

I get the top bunk.

Oh no.

I'll race you to it.

There are a couple beds here on the bottom floor

And there are a lot more beds upstairs on the top floor.

Why don't you take a look?

I'm staying down here.

TED: Pick what you want.

So did you find a bed you like?

Yeah.

I did, but I also found my friend Roselyn's luggage.

Look, this is her necklace.

That looks familiar.

I'm sure I saw her paddling away with her boyfriend, though.

Let me see that, please.

That's definitely Roselyn's.

This is definitely Roselyn's necklace.

Why would she leave her luggage behind, especially

If it had her valuables in it?

It's a good question.

Who knows?

Maybe she's still here and will be back for dinner.

Don't worry, Sandy.

We'll find out where Roselyn is soon.

Everything will be fine.

Ted, could you please show us where the bathrooms are?

Follow me.

Great.

This is the shower.

You mean it's not even enclosed?

This is camping out in Mother Nature at its finest.

I'm almost afraid to ask, but where is the toilet exactly?

Follow me.

Ew.

-This is the toilet. -Ew.

What?

You expect me to use that?

It's disgusting.

Hey, at least you'll never have to worry

About a cold toilet seat.

And the snakes and alligators will give you lots of privacy.

I can't believe that.

This concludes the grand tour for now.

Why don't you guys get settled in?

I'm going to go see about giving us some dinner.

You guys can do some exploring.

Just remember to be back here by 7:00 so that we

Can barbecue for dinner.

Got it.

See you guys.

Something to look forward to.

Please.

Please.

I won't tell anybody about Carla.

About John.

Please just let me out of here.

I'll do anything.

You now belong to Coowahchobee.

This is your home.

Coowahchobee your husband.

You are Coowahchobee's wife, White Rain.

Your wife?

I will never love you.

You are wearing a wedding dress.

It is done by Seminole law.

If Coowahchobee let you out, you be good wife?

You make little baby Coowahchobees?

I said I'd do anything.

Just let me out of here.

Please.

Coowahchobee likes this.

Coowahchobee make baby Coowahchobees with you.

Very nice.

Coowahchobee like boobies.

Coowahchobee likes this.

Ow!

No!

Help!

Help!

No!

Dream all you want, White Rain.

We're in the middle of the Everglades.

Nobody going to hear you.

Let go of me, you bastard!

Coowahchobee own you, woman.

We are married.

Like your people say, til death do us part.

Dude, I'm starving.

Do you know when dinner is?

Soon.

Ted said he was coming around 7:00 to get us.

Do you really think that Roselyn would leave her luggage behind?

Even her necklace?

I forgot about that.

Yeah.

Well, Sandy, she is kind of a ditz.

Shut up.

That's not nice.

I'm sorry, honey.

I'm just saying.

It's possible.

Well, I guess you're right.

But I could never see her leaving with John

And Carla instead hang out with us.

Sandy, John is a Grade A piece of man meat.

There's no way Roselyn wouldn't fall for him.

And betray me?

She knew that we had a thing.

A thing?

Really?

John has a thing with all of us.

I know we had a thing.

Me too.

I know a thing about John thing.

Spare me the details please.

Girls, girls.

You know that Sandy believes in true love

And all that beautiful stuff.

Please don't ruin it for her with all of your catty gossip.

It's OK.

I mean, I knew that he got around.

I just didn't realize he got around

With everyone in this room.

[Laughter]

Why do you think John is the only guy

Invited on our all-girls little expedition to the wild?

He's practically like a brother to all of us.

Well, to me anyway.

What we did was nothing brotherly.

Now the truth comes out.

Dirty.

[Whispering]

What was that?

What is it?

You heard it too, didn't you?

I think we should go downstairs and check it out.

I think somebody's out there.

[Whispering]

So who do you think would be walking

Around waiting out here?

Maybe it's a mass-murdering cannibal.

Or an alien from another planet.

Or maybe it's a giant alligator.

Or maybe it's just Ted.

Sandy.

You're always ruin everything.

All right.

Whoever's out there better watch out

Because we're a bunch of angry, self-empowered bitches

Who eat men for dinner.

Ain't that right, girls?

ALL: Yeah!

Whoa.

Don't worry.

It's just me, Ted.

Your tour guide, remember? -Oh.

Hi, Ted.

Oh hi Ted.

If you're feeling hungry, follow me to the barbecue pit.

Yeah.

Let's go.

Finally.

I'm starving.

This is so awesome.

Who wants a nice piece of my meat?

I got seven.

One for me.

Ladies, this concludes the meat service.

Let me get nekkid.

Pretty good, huh, kiddies?

-Disgusting. -What's the matter, Sandy?

You don't like meat?

Even Mama Bear's eating it and she's a certified hippy chick.

I'm sure that it's great, but I'm a vegetarian.

Well I'm a vagetarian myself, but I tend to eat

Whatever's put in front of me.

And out here in the Everglades, the law of the land

Is you either eat or be eaten.

What are we eating tonight, Ted?

Tonight we're having gator tail.

Really?

Wow.

Got it myself.

And what's our second option?

That is your second option.

That's what's known as it for tonight.

Well thank you, Ted.

It's fresh.

Isn't it illegal to kill alligators?

Well actually, it's seasonal, but they

Run around here like rats.

Sorry to change the subject, but I still

Haven't seen Roselyn all night.

Where could she be?

I told you I saw her leave with that guy.

She went home.

Get over it.

Or maybe she is still here making

Sweet love to John under the moonlight

On a private swamp island.

Roselyn really isn't the type to make

Sweet love under the moonlight in the swamp

With my ex-boyfriend.

But whatever.

I'll drop it for now.

Can I have some marshmallows?

Of course.

It's S'mores time, ladies.

I got marshmallows, chocolate, help yourself.

If you don't mind, I'm going to turn into for the evening.

So goodnight.

-Goodnight, Ted. -See you, Ted.

Thank you.

Have a good night.

This is great!

Yeah, Mama Bear.

I'm so happy that I came.

This was a great idea.

Who needs men when we have friends and wide open spaces.

I haven't been out here since I was a kid.

Yeah because college life doesn't allow

Much time for camping, right?

Except for spring break, summer break, fall break,

Winter break.

Oh um--

Easter weekend, Memorial Day, Columbus weekend.

OK. Shut up.

I get your point.

I guess I'm just not much of a nature person.

I come out here all the time to wrestle

Alligator and trap pythons.

And mate with skunk apes.

Oh girl, there may be more truth to that than you know.

This reminds me of how I met John.

Really?

I was camping out and it started raining,

And he gave me shelter.

Oh yeah?

Where were you camping?

I was camping out for tickets to the Florida State game.

And he gave me a tour of the stadium.

Which ended in the locker room showers, I'm sure.

Yeah.

For you too?

We are talking about John, right?

As I remember it, we actually found an orchid growing

In some musty water pipes despite the fact

That it never seen the light of day.

Oh how romantic.

I guess all it takes is a steamy shower and a musty locker

Room for love to grow?

Unfortunately, I soon found out that sensitive guys

Like John only flower on the off season,

When they're not footballing.

It's a good thing I never picked his stamen.

Well, darling, with pretty petals like those,

I'm sure his stamen was hard-pressed not

To enter your pistil.

Ew.

Mama Bear!

Dirty Bear.

Honey, I just call it like I see it.

Ah, this is great.

[Whispering]

Do you hear that?

Hey!

Who's out there?

Hello, ladies.

Hello.

My name's Ron.

What are you doing out here?

We are on a females only self-empowerment camping trip,

So you can get out.

Hold on now.

I'll be out of here in just a minute and you should be too.

Oh yeah?

Why is that?

Every several years some half-wit tourist

Goes missing out here in the Everglades.

They say there's a curse.

Oh.

I've only ventured this far out in the swamp

Because I care about your lives and I saw

You drive in earlier with Ted.

If we were in danger, don't you think that Ted would tell us?

Ted only cares about making a buck.

But where is he now?

He left about half an hour ago to go home.

He's hunkered down and hiding out of sight.

He's no fool.

What are you so scared of?

Why Columbus Day weekend?

Call me superstitious, but there's a legend

That the angry Seminole warrior called Coowahchobee

Who is said to haunt this area.

Coowahchobee is the Seminole name for Panther

And his spirit is said to be the soul of a real warrior who

Was murdered by the US soldiers during a truce of the Seminole

War.

It is said that every year around Columbus Day weekend,

He becomes especially volatile and takes out his revenge

On modern-day Americans.

What?

-This guy's crazy. -Calm down.

I'm not lying.

If you came here just to scare us,

Then I'm going to knock you back into the Civil War,

You inbred, hillbilly motherfucker.

I heard the tale myself from my brother who was one of the very

Few survivors of the attack.

If you want me to go, I will, but

If you want to hear my story then shut up and listen.

I grew up a couple of miles west of here,

And when I was eight years old I wanted to go on a hunting trip

With my brother to the Seminole reservation

Back lands on Columbus Day weekend.

My father rented out a cabin not too far from here

That was owned by Ted's mother.

What was that?

I think it was a beaver.

Don't worry about it.

Kind of looks like an Indian burial ground.

My brother brought his girlfriend,

And even though my father tried to put an end

To any hanky panky, they were still able to sneak off to make

Sweet love under the stars.

ALL: Make sweet love under the moonlight!

Ooh.

On a private swamp island.

And as my brother told me, he and his girlfriend

Got lost on their way back to the cabin.

[Whispering]

Did you hear that?

I think it's Coowahchobee.

What's Coowahchobee?

Whatever.

Let's get back to this.

Yeah.

[Whispering]

[Chanting]

[Screaming]

Guys, they're dead!

Val, dad, they're both dead.

They were murdered.

What's up with the blood, dude?

I swear, they were just murdered by an Indian.

You've gotta see this. Come on.

You've got to come now.

Come on.

All right, son.

This is what we're going to do.

Ain't nobody going to believe that no Seminole warrior

Coowahchobee killed everybody.

So we're going to tell them a bunch of drug dealers

Did it and you're going to have to shoot me.

That's crazy.

We can't do that.

We got no choice, buddy.

Come on.

Gotta do it.

Right over there.

Oh, motherfucker!

When we got back home, we reported the phony crime

To the police and the police believed my father

When they saw his arm.

My father's plan worked and nobody

Ever suspected otherwise.

And no harm came to my brother, but we all

Know the truth of what really happened that night.

I fully believe in the wrath of the Coowahchobee.

And every since this happened to my family,

I try to warn travelers to get out of the Everglades

On Columbus Day weekend.

Good one, buddy.

You're quite the storyteller.

You should be on the hillbilly cable access channel 666.

Now, if you don't mind, we've got some partying to do.

So thank you and goodnight.

You must cancel the party and go home.

You're such a party pooper, dude.

I was going to invite you to come smoke some weed with us,

But now you're just starting to annoy me.

If you will not leave, I must stay and protect

You from the Coowahchobee.

We don't need your help.

We're a bunch of angry, self-empowered bitches

And we can fend for ourselves.

You must listen to me.

It's not a joke.

The murders have affected my own family.

Listen to my words.

Stay out of these swamps on Columbus Day weekend

Or you will feel the wrath of the Coowahchobee.

Coowahchobee is the alligator sunning

Itself on the side of the road.

It is the hawk that swoops down from the sky for his prey.

He is the panther that will hunt you like a rabbit.

He is the very water that will drown

You when you least expect it.

Agh, get him off of me!

Hey!

Step back.

Burt Reynolds called, honey.

He needs you back on the set of Deliverance.

[Banjo noise]

May the good Lord forgive you of your sins

When you meet Coowahchobee.

Damn fool kids.

They deserve everything they get for laughing at me.

Whoa.

What kind of sign are you?

Gator, gator.

I got something for you.

Come on out from wherever you are.

How dare you defy Coowahchobee?

I would never defy Coowahchobee.

What are you talking about?

Coowahchobee hear you warn them kids.

You break my law.

How Coowahchobee let you live and fish my water

If you break my law?

Oh please.

Please, Coowahchobee, don't kill me.

I will never tell another person.

Too late!

You are nothing but a filthy exploiter of my land.

Now you die!

[Scream]

[Scream]

Hey, baby doll.

Where are you going?

Oh hey, Mama Bear.

It's really hot. I can't sleep.

I'm going to go try to take a shower to cool off.

Yeah, but Claire, I'm going to bed soon.

No one's going to be out here to make sure you're safe.

Mama, there's nothing out here.

You don't know what's out here.

Mama, we're in the middle of nowhere.

If you've got to go take a shower,

At least take my lucky knife with you, please.

I'm not taking that stupid thing.

Get back here.

Take the knife and scrub-a-dub.

Keep it clean.

I'm going to bed soon, baby.

All I want to do is have sweet dreams about you.

I love you, Mama Bear.

I love you too, baby girl.

Goodnight.

See you in the morning.

[Screech]

Oh, hello little owl.

You're not creepy.

You can play nice, right?

[Screech]

[Screech]

[Gasp]

[Screech]

Oh, it smells.

Oh, that's gross.

I guess I'm going to stink for a week.

[Screech]

Oh, Mama Bear.

You owe us for this one.

You will make fine third wife for Coowahchobee!

[Scream]

[Grunting]

Listen, woman!

You will either be my third wife or you will die!

Never!

I will never be your third wife.

Never!

Then you will die!

[Screech]

Rise and shine!

Where are we?

Oh yeah.

Camping.

How'd you all sleep?

Not so great.

What time are we heading back?

Heading back?

You've got the cabin booked for another night.

Great.

Oh, come on, Sandy.

I was just thinking since I feel

Like crap and Roselyn's not here,

We could head back earlier.

We've got lots of exploring to do.

We just got here.

Yeah. You're right.

I'm sorry.

Has anyone seen Claire or Martha?

Yeah.

Actually, she told me she was going to wake up early

And go for a walk, so I might join her later.

I haven't seen Claire since last night.

Maybe that guy Coowahchobee got her.

Or maybe it was Ron.

Ew.

Yeah.

Did you say Ron?

Yeah, it creeps me out that that weirdo was stalking

Around here last night.

He came to the barbecue after you left and told

Us the legend of Coowahchobee.

Why didn't you tell us about that?

The legend of Coowahchobee is just a bunch of rubbish.

Ron was probably talking like that to scare you girls

Because he thought you were hot and wanted

To take you home to his house.

Yeah, he did say that it wasn't safe for us to stay here

And that we should all go to his house for protection.

He said that they went on a camping trip years ago

And they never did his brother's girlfriend's body.

And then his brother said that a Seminole

Indian warrior named Coowahchobee

Was responsible for the murder.

That's just unbelievable.

First of all, I've known Ron most of my life

And he doesn't have a brother.

What?

Yeah, I sorta kinda know that.

I've been to his house time after time.

Truth is Ron's got a few screws loose

And his own girlfriend disappeared 20 years ago

Under mysterious circumstances.

He claimed it was due to drug traffickers.

Next time he comes here and tries to scare you,

I want you all to tell me.

I'm going to go try and track him down so

He doesn't do that again. I'm sorry.

Aww, thanks Ted.

I appreciate it.

So what do you have planned for us today on your famous Ted's

Swamp Safari?

Well, there's ATV rides.

There's canoe trips.

All right.

There's even air boats.

All within 50 feet of the cabin.

Yay!

So I want you to go outside and take a look around

And really have a good time. -OK.

Great. -Thank you.

Thanks.

I think I'm just going to go meet Martha and take a walk.

Good.

I'm going to go prepare lunch and look for Claire.

I'll see you guys in a couple of hours.

Bye, Ted.

I'm so excited. There's--

Coowahchobee!

So what do you think happened to Claire?

Nothing.

She just wants to ruin our camping trip.

I don't know.

Do you really think she would do something like that?

Uh, yeah.

I didn't want her to come on this trip,

But Mama Bear insisted.

And well, the truth about Claire,

Though, is she's kind of a slut.

I don't know.

I just think that running off in the middle of the night

Is a little bit too extreme.

Yeah, well Claire is an extreme pain in the ass.

She's probably out there partying

With some damn rednecks with no concerns of us.

Stop worrying about her so much.

I don't know.

I just have a really bad feeling that something

Bad must have happened because Roselyn's missing too.

Ted said he saw a football player and a skank whore

Leave together, and I guarantee you

It was Roselyn and not Carla.

I don't know.

Do you really think Roselyn would betray Sandy like that?

I wouldn't put it past her.

[Screech]

There's an owl up there?

Strange.

But it's the middle of the day.

I don't know.

Call me superstitious, but I think

We should get out of here. -Oh, come on.

It's a fucking bird.

It's not going to do anything.

All right.

You can stay here, but I'm getting out of here.

I'm already freaked out by that nut Ron's story

About Coowah-- whatever his name is.

And then Claire seems to disappear?

I'm getting out of here.

You see?

The owl heard you talking about him and he left.

You feel better now?

Don't worry about anything.

Most of these animals here are more scared of you

Than you are of them.

I know.

I just-- whatever.

I just feel weird.

OK.

I'm getting out of here.

You can say.

Good luck.

Fine.

I'll see you back at the cabin.

Bye.

Fucking wuss.

I keep forgetting to bathe.

Yes.

This is a bad habit.

I just don't do want to use that outdoor shower.

You're brave.

I think it's cool.

It's a good way to get a tan.

So what do you think happened to Claire?

I'm sure she'll show up this afternoon with some crazy story

To tell us all about.

I sure hope so.

This place is really starting to creep me out.

I can't wait to leave.

Don't worry.

We only have one more day.

Just try to make the best of it, OK?

OK.

You're right.

I think I'm going to go find that canoe trail.

You didn't have enough canoeing yesterday?

Uh yeah, but what else is there to do here?

That's true.

That was quick.

No, I didn't shower yet.

This is Claire's shower kit and her towel's back there too.

What?

That's really weird.

She must have been in a real hurry to get out of here

If she left that there.

Don't worry about it.

Just have fun.

Don't even think about that wench.

When she gets back here, I'm going

To make her real sorry for trying to scare us so hard.

OK?

It's working.

Don't let it.

Just have fun.

It's going to be OK.

All right.

Well, I think I'm going to go find that canoe trail.

See you guys later.

All right. Bye, honey.

Bye.

Have a good time.

Sit down.

I'm really nervous.

Don't worry, baby girl.

It's OK.

Finally some time alone.

I can be free and one with nature.

I'm such a dork.

Help!

Please help me!

[Whispering]

Hello there.

Hi.

I've been on the CB radio looking for your friends,

But so far I have not had any luck.

Are you looking for something to do?

What are you doing?

Well, I've just finished some handiwork.

Would you like to take a walk?

Sounds fun.

OK.

So how long have you lived here?

I was born and raised here.

My family has owned this land for generations.

My great-great-grandfather was one of the first white men

To venture this far inland.

It must get lonely out here.

Have you ever been married?

Yes, I was married once and that was enough.

Want to see her picture?

Sure.

Wow, she's beautiful.

I married my childhood sweetheart.

Her name was Rose.

She was a Seminole girl.

Unfortunately, she disappeared under mysterious circumstances.

What's this cage for?

That's where I keep my larger prey like bears, panthers,

And other big pussies.

[Scream]

Did you hear that scream?

Yes I did.

Hey guys.

Did you hear that scream?

No

I didn't hear a scream.

I could swear I heard a scream.

Ted heard it too.

-Yeah, I heard it. -No.

We didn't hear a scream at all.

That was Mama Bear screaming like a little baby.

Shut up.

Yes, it was me.

I got stuck by a hornet in the shitter!

Ted, there's a reason that there are walls on outhouses.

To keep the bugs out.

Unfortunately, out here it's too warm to put walls on them.

Have you guys seen Tonya or Martha?

No.

I bet they're out in the woods making the beast

With two butts, though.

It's backs, woman!

The beast with two backs!

Oh, whatever.

No, I'm just kidding.

I haven't seen them at all.

Oh my God.

There's Tonya.

She's hurt!

Help her!

Jesus Christ, what happened?

Are you OK?

Come on, up.

Up, up.

Ready?

Let's lift.

Sit her down.

Sit her down.

How did this happen?

It looks like something chewed your leg off.

I stepped in a stupid bear trap.

My god.

You should have told me to look out for them, Ted.

Listen, if you wander off the path

There's no telling what you're going to find.

Don't blame it on me.

I've got to eat too.

My dad is a big time lawyer and he's not

Going to be happy about this.

Tonya, calm down.

It's not his fault. Where is Martha?

I don't know.

I left her back there.

I was just so freaked out.

I kept seeing that owl.

And I just had to come back here.

But please, when she gets back can we just

Please get out of here?

Please.

Calm down.

You've got to rest.

We can't leave here with some of your friends unaccounted for.

Let's bring Tonya into the cabin so she can rest.

OK.

Come on.

You're going to be OK.

Here, let me help you up.

Come on.

Come on, sweetie.

Put your foot on here.

Sit, sit.

Sit back.

Easy.

Let me get a bowl.

Hold on.

Move.

[Coughing]

MAMA BEAR: Do we have any water or anything?

[Chatter]

Just relax.

Relax.

Just lean back.

Oh my God, oh my God.

Sit back.

It's OK.

We're gonna clean it off.

Ted, do you have a first aid kit or something?

TED: [inaudible]

Don't look at it. Don't look at it.

Don't look.

Just breathe deep.

Veronica, get me the rags.

Here you go.

Calm down.

Just calm down.

Take deep breaths, OK?

Get me a wrap.

OK?

Just breathe deep, OK, honey?

That's going to help the pain.

Is there any gauze in there?

Got it.

Poor

Thing.

Listen.

Why don't you guys take it easy here?

I'll take care of Tonya.

Go ahead and take the gals and do something

To entertain yourselves.

I'll fix this and get her some rest.

What?

I'll take care of her.

Are you kidding?

This thing needs a tourniquet and some stitches.

I really would like to stick around and help out.

Mama Bear, I got this.

I don't know.

Mama Bear, can we please go find Martha?

I'm really freaking out.

I really don't want to leave you.

Tonya, are you going to be OK?

I want to make sure you're all right, girl.

This is bad.

I'll be fine.

Thank you.

Come on.

We need to go find Martha.

This is getting really fucked up, OK?

Go ahead.

I'll survive.

I got it.

Take it easy.

Take it easy.

Ted, I know this might sound strange.

But do you think you could tell me where you last saw

My friends John and Roselyn?

Why?

What do you think you're going to find?

I don't know.

Hopefully nothing.

I'm just looking for some reassurance

That nothing happened to them.

I told you the last time I saw them was at the boat ramp.

You can go down there and check, but there's nothing there.

OK, thanks.

I'll be right back.

OK?

It's OK.

It's OK.

Please, I'm so hungry.

Anything, please.

Please.

Hey Rose.

It OK if Coowahchobee feeds second wife, White Rain?

Coowahchobee think it's OK with Rose.

According to Seminole law, Coowahchobee no take second

Wife if he cannot feed her.

No.

Oh no.

What is that?

Don't you have anything like a sandwich or something?

Coowahchobee get you sandwich.

OK?

Coowahchobee make you ham and cheese.

Our love is like sandwich.

You are ham.

I am cheese.

[Screams]

What is that?

This is disgusting.

What is this?

What's the matter?

You don't like human fingers?

A few more days of fasting, you eat

Anything Coowahchobee give you.

Can you hand-- hand me my clothes over there please?

Why?

I don't know.

I'm just so cold.

Coowahchobee bring you clothes.

Goodbye, squaw.

[Screech]

Tonya?

[Whispering]

Is that you?

[Whispering]

You'd better not be trying to scare me.

Tonya!

OK, just because you believe Ron's story doesn't mean

I'm going to.

Tonya!

[Whispering]

OK, that's it.

Stop being a jerk.

[Screech]

And stop that stupid chanting.

You will make a fine wife.

Lay down and spread your oyster for Coowahchobee.

If you want to please [inaudible],

Coowahchobee would grant you a fast death.

But no, I will let you linger!

I feed your spine to the hawks of the Everglades!

Look.

It's that creep, Ron.

I'm going to turn around.

Calm down, V. He's got an air boat.

Yeah, but he's so weird.

Yeah, but we need to find Martha.

Maybe he'll give us a ride.

I've got my knife.

Don't worry.

OK.

Let's go.

Well, I'm glad you're here.

I see you've come to your senses.

We need to get out of here.

Why?

What happened to you?

I was attacked by Coowahchobee last night

And I saw him kill your friends.

Claire?

How do we know you didn't kill Claire?

Ted told us your story was a lie.

You don't even have a brother.

I admit that I lied about having a brother.

But if you knew that my own girlfriend died,

It would seem too suspicious.

But I swear on her grave that it was

Coowahchobee that killed her.

Just like he killed your girlfriend.

We need to get out of here.

Oh my God.

It's not safe here.

We gotta go.

I can get us back to the highway in this thing

So we can hitch a ride.

So if you want to go, hop aboard.

OK.

Yeah, I think we should go.

I have to stop here to pick up extra fuel.

It'll only take a minute, so just hang tight.

Look, another owl.

Do you think it's the same one we saw yesterday?

No.

I doubt it.

But it is strange.

Yeah.

Wow.

What a crazy trip.

I feel so discombobulated.

I know exactly what you mean.

It's like our entire world's turned right upside down.

Imagine, if we were to die today,

Would you have any regrets?

Come on.

So you mean like things you've always wanted to do,

But have never done before?

Yeah, like, have you ever wondered what

It was like to kiss a woman?

I mean, not just a hello kiss.

But like really kiss a woman?

Can you keep a secret?

Yes.

That was cool.

Nice.

Oh really?

Look, another owl.

Coowahchobee smell women in heat!

[Drumming]

What the hell was that?

A tomahawk!

Somebody threw a tomahawk at us!

Someone threw a tomahawk at us?

What is this, the Battle of Little Bighorn?

Do you think that guy Ron threw it?

That slimy bastard!

I'll kill whoever did that!

- Did you throw a tomahawk at us? - Tomahawk?

What tomahawk?

I don't even own a tomahawk.

What am I going to do with a tomahawk?

Scalp us, you crazy bastard!

Scalp you?

Why would I want to scalp you?

I don't know.

So that you could possess our souls or something?

Or whatever psychopaths who think that they are Indians

Do with people's hair?

It's Coowahchobee.

He must be here.

Get on the boat.

We're leaving now.

Man, I ought to smack you right upside your head.

Were leaving now.

Just don't try anything stupid, Geronimo!

I'm a Ninja!

You're not a Ninja!

I am too!

I studied Ninjutsu ten years ago!

Both of you shut up and get on the boat.

How dare you bring these Conquistadors here?

Coowahchobee kill you all!

No, Coowahchobee!

Please don't kill us!

Oh my God!

[Screams]

You are a disgrace to the Seminoles!

Die, traitor!

[Screaming]

Coowahchobee like good head!

Fuck, I gotta get out of here.

There's gotta be a freaking phone in here somewhere.

Please.

Please!

[Whispering]

I'm getting out of here.

[Whispering]

Who's your daddy, bitch?

Coowahchobee give you shelter and welcome you

To tribe as wife.

But first, you must sacrifice your foot to the gods

So you don't run away.

I won't sacrifice anything for you, [inaudible] freak.

The choice is yours.

Either your life or your foot!

Squaw!

Did you lose something?

No, but I found something.

I think it might be Roselyn's phone.

The last call that was made on this phone was to 911

And it was only an hour ago.

Maybe she's still nearby.

How do you know it's Roselyn's phone?

Because she sent me this message about the chanting.

This is definitely her phone.

Well, just because it's Roselyn's phone

Doesn't necessarily mean that she dialed 911 an hour ago.

It was probably Tonya.

Have you seen her?

No, I don't know where Tonya is.

No.

She's in no condition to be walking around.

I'm gong to go look for her.

You stay here and wait while I look for her.

OK. Fine.

But can you please hurry up?

Slut Carla's a cheerleader.

If John and Carla were here, then

Roselyn was probably here too.

Hello?

Hello?

Is anyone here?

Hello?

I need help!

Is anyone home?

Oh my God.

This is Ted's place.

This sure will help me cover some ground.

Let's see how this baby goes.

Ooh.

That's a dirty trick!

Oh, the owl.

Get out of here, owl!

Go on!

Get out!

You will die for consuming Mother Earth's fossil fuels!

Squaw!

Eat my rubber, you redskin son of a bitch!

What are you doing?

You think you can just paddle out of here?

-Yeah, are you going to stop me? -No.

But why don't you go back to the cabin

And wait while I go get the others

And we'll all leave together.

You still don't think that anything is wrong?

Listen, lady.

Just go back to the cabin and wait for the others.

No.

I'm leaving.

I'm going back to the highway.

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

It's a long way and the Everglades are dangerous.

I'll take my chances.

How did you get out here?

I took your girlfriend for a ride in the air boat

And Coowahchobee attacked us.

He killed one of the girls and I don't know

What happened to the other one.

Let me in.

I know the way out.

Why should I trust you?

Ted told us your story was a lie because you

Don't even have a brother.

Just like I told your other friends,

Yes I lied about saying it was my brother.

I didn't want to seem suspicious,

But it was me who fought Coowahchobee 20 years ago

And it was my girlfriend who died.

If you want me to die out here, that's your choice.

But you may end up paddling for days.

And without any knowledge of how to live off the land out here,

You will die out here as well.

OK.

Just-- just get in.

Just get me out of here.

Let's go.

Lets get out of here.

Do you hear that?

I think I hear a truck.

We must be near the highway.

Here's dry land.

[Snake rattle]

That might be a trucker.

He could help us.

Come on.

There's an SUV halfway between us and him.

Let's go see if we can hot-wire it and get out of here quickly.

No way. I'm going to stay here and hide.

Come on! Come on!

No!

Come with me!

All right.

[Screaming]

Coowahchobee!

[Screaming]

Sandy, come back.

Ron is dead.

I caught him with pictures of my dead wife

And other Indian artifacts.

With Ron dead, Coowahchobee is gone.

Help!

Help!

You're safe.

Come out.

Is that you?

Help me, I can't hear you!

I was kidnapped by an Indian and put in a cage.

Help me!

You must help me!

Roselyn?

Roselyn, is that you?

Roselyn, it's me, Sandy!

Sandy?

[Scream]

Roselyn!

Roselyn, help me!

My foot is-- my foot is stuck!

Sandy!

Is that you?

Roselyn!

Oh my God!

Where have you been?

Oh my God.

I was so worried about you.

You saved my life.

I was kidnapped by Coowahchobee.

I was put in a cage and made to be his wife.

Nobody believed me that you were in trouble.

They all tried to convince me that you left with John.

John and Carla are dead.

[Whispering]

[Screams]

White Rain gone dry.

Til death do us part, as you people say.

Coowahchobee want a divorce.

You are so beautiful, White Rain.

Is it too late to take Coowahchobee back?

You still owe Coowahchobee beaver pelt for that dress.

But first I go kill squirrel that run away.

[Laughter]

It's that truck.

Oh [inaudible].

Maybe it's open.

Shit.

Hey you!

Give me the keys to your truck.

Ted's gonna kill us both if you don't give me the keys

And we get out of here.

Listen, bitch!

Give me the keys!

Oh my God.

Gross.

Oh my God.

Shit.

[Grunting]

Stay away from Coowahchobee's house or Coowahchobee kill you!

He's coming!

Coowahchobee loves Rose.

Get away from my wife!

Your wife is burning in Hell!

No!

Rose, I'll save you!

Rose, don't die!

Rose!

I will die with you, Rose.

Coowahchobee love Rose!

[Screaming]

[Whispering]

Hi sweetie.

Can I get you anything to drink?

Roselyn.

What are you doing here?

I'm sorry, you must be mistaken.

My name is Kim.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

I just mistook you for an old friend.

No problem.

Do you know when we can get back in the water?

Hold on one second.

I'll ask our old pool man.

Hey Ted.

When do you think we can go back in this water?

The water?

The water is fine!

[Screams]

What in tarnation?

I hear monkey business!

Awesome.

You need that again?

You're good.

Don't move, don't move.

It's warmer right here.

Did you pee in the water?

Do you think it's the same one?

You're supposed to say don't worry.

You're going backwards.

[Laughter]

Hold on, I can't stop laughing.

I know one thing about John's thing.

Wait, wait, wait.

That was stupid of me.

That was all right.

Coowahchobee!

He must be here.

Ha ha ha!

I don't know what to do.

Thanks for the advice!

Love you.

Take care.

I forgot to scream.

[Screaming]

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