Original subtitles

-Buddy? -I can't breathe.

-Are you okay? Do you need a doctor? -Everything hurts.

-Yes. -He doesn't need a doctor.

-He's exercising. -Exercising?

That doesn't look healthy.

This is not about health, it's about sexy.

And whoever wants to be sexy has to suffer!

-He's definitely suffering here. -Are we done yet?

-I think he's done for now. -He's overcoming his performance limit.

Hartmut, I'm very proud of you. Push your arms through.

The pelvis does not touch the ground!

We're at three. Still at three.

-He's in pain. -He wants it that way!

And his wife wants it, too.

Gravity is for losers! Are you a loser, Hartmut?

Is it normal for him to sweat like that?

He isn't sweating, he's crying.

-Have you ever tried laughter yoga? -Very funny.

I just mean, if you keep going, then he will...

Now listen, you weirdo.

This man pays a shitload of money for me to optimize his body.

That doesn't work with footbaths.

So it would be very nice of you to let me do my job!

-Yes? -Understood.

Just one question, so he pays to suffer like that?

Yes, yes. Crazy.

-Maniacs. -Back to the push-ups!

VIKTOR DELIVERS

Hi. Thanks for being available at short notice.

How do you look?

What are you wearing?

-I'm supposed to fix a washing machine. -Yes, Dad, but not professionally.

The washing machine doesn't care. Now drive.

-Whoa, then at least take off your vest. -Why?

-What? Do you like it? -Yes. It's practical. What's that now?

Are you suddenly embarrassed about our work clothes? That's our identity!

Here! I designed that myself.

What's there to laugh about? Well, if that's the case,

if you're ashamed in front of your girlfriend, then let me out.

I got better things to do!

-And this is where she lives? -Yes. She lives and works here.

-Interesting. -Yes.

Yes. So, quickly in and out. Don't break anything, okay?

Do you think she needs an extended warranty?

Absolutely not.

-And that's your decision now, or what? -Yes.

I thought you're in favor of equality.

No extended warranty.

-She must be an oppressed little mouse. -Don't say little mouse!

Hello, relax. Women like me, especially young women.

Never mind. Maybe we should just forget about it.

You know your dad.

I can be charming, too.

Mika! Ruby is in the sauna.

-Okay. Take it easy, don't touch anything. -Definitely not.

-And no stupid comments, okay? -Sure.

Hello.

Hi.

-Hi. -Hello.

Yes. I brought someone along. It's just a little faster with two people.

Okay. Hello.

I'm happy to meet you. My son told me so much about you.

You're the father? You didn't say.

-You didn't... -Yes.

-What was I supposed to say? -That's...

That's your dad? Then you must have a very pretty mom.

I think we look very much alike. Right?

-No. -Yes.

-No. -Yes.

No, right?

Well, I have my mom's fingers.

-Yes? -Yes, pianist fingers.

-Says my mother. -More like contrabass fingers.

-No, pianist fingers. -Tuba?

Piano.

If it were a piano it would need quite wide keys.

-Leave it! -So they would...

Does the washing machine have a bigger issue?

No, nonsense. No way, it's...

Holy shit.

-What? -Well, Micha, what did you do?

I expertly opened it and here...

-Watched a YouTube tutorial. Okay. -Hey, I watched two.

I'm sorry, but this thing is junk. It's ready to be thrown out.

Really?

There's nothing you can do about it?

Well, I don't know,

but maybe with a lot of skill and good luck you could maybe...

That would be amazing.

You could name the 7th wonder after me, no?

Maybe the 8th.

I will leave you two to it, okay?

Sure. And no worries, I will get this cutie running again. The pro is here now!

Please never say "cutie."

She is a cutie. And she smells good.

-Are you serious? -I think so.

It's strange if you say that my girlfriend smells good. Right...

Why? She does. She smells like roses.

-The machine and then get out of here. -Or lilies. That's it.

Is everything okay?

-Yes. -Now I know...

Patchouli, is that possible? The scent? Patchouli, right?

It's quite warm in here.

Heat stimulates my creativity.

Heat expands everything. That's why I'm not fat, but hot.

Sure.

With blood, sweat and tears you create the exceptional.

That's passion. Cut yourself a slice of that.

I have a question. Well, you design fashion, right?

No, I study art. But the collection is part of my thesis.

It's about the ever changing beauty ideals.

Stay like this.

-That's beautiful. -Quite the opposite.

We created with morbid obsession a prison of concepts,

causing physical and psychological damage.

-I see. -Only 2% of all women in Germany

feel beautiful. 2%.

That's incredibly sad, right?

-No. -Yes.

They should try to put their beer goggles on,

just like men. That could help.

-Sorry. -Question.

You're doing that for women.

But he's a man.

For the change of perspective.

Unnatural beauty ideals for women affect all of us, including men.

And that's why you put him in that thing there?

Yes, exactly.

Please turn around.

Good.

Men are also affected by this perverse beauty mania.

I've already been running this morning.

Yes, after the ice cream truck, huh?

True, but for men the ideals change much slower than for women.

Michelangelo's David is the ideal man to this day.

Five hundred years, one trend.

Michelangelo has always been my favorite Ninja-Turtle.

The orange one. Right?

What many consider beautiful, can be wiped off easily, right.

You mean like with bras?

-No. -Yes.

Yes. Because bras are like bags of chips, no?

If you buy a bag of chips it's filled to the brim.

Then at home, you open it and half is missing.

Right?

Well, women with large breasts are often

more successful than men with large breasts.

That's right. That's true. I've never looked at it that way.

My therapist won't believe any of this.

Is 39 degrees a fever?

And chills?

Okay.

It's warm here. Maybe you can sweat the virus out.

What has a heater got to do with a drain pump?

They're friends.

No.

No, I won't find a replacement that quickly.

Deadline is on Monday.

It's not your fault. Okay. Get well soon.

Is everything okay?

-My second model just cancelled. -No!

What now? I have to take the photos today.

-Deadline is on Monday. -Can I help?

You're sweet. But I need a real guy.

-You see? -No.

A man with a physical presence...

-I don't have a physical presence? -Yes.

-But... -You have nice ears.

You have other qualities, Michael.

You are neat.

-Neat? -It's important.

Mika, for my work I need...

a man who's scarred by life.

With a certain tragedy and sadness in his eyes...

and beyond any vanity...

What?

Why are you looking at me?

What? No! No!

As much as I'd like to, I'm no... I have to fix the washing machine.

You should always deliver the appliances like that.

-There'd be a lot of tips. -I would tip you a lot.

I used to get great tips.

-Yes? -Yes.

-Back then... -Turn the arm around.

-Everything was more beautiful! -So were you.

That's quite a lot of knots, no?

Yes.

The knots symbolize the paradoxical problem solving of our society.

Okay.

That's a Ruby knot.

The faster you move, the more it tightens.

Like a noose.

If we don't see that we can't win this battle

against these beauty ideals with re-invented

concepts of beauty... Watch out...

We will slowly and painfully

suffocate at our own inability to let go.

Slowly and painfully.

Let go. Look relaxed into the camera. Beautiful.

-Viktor. A little less tortured. -Thumbs top. Top.

Viktor? Maybe...

No thumbs. Please. No thumbs.

Now peel yourselves like an onion.

Evolve yourselves, evolve your own self.

Yes.

And with this self-knowledge you let your heart shine.

Let it shine! Yes. Who are you?

Who are you really? You realize there is this tender green seedling

that wants to see the light.

-That's me! -Let's go.

Dad, like in the stadium.

-What? -In the stadium! Ranks!

Olé! Olé...

Very good, Viktor.

Yes, the knots take your breath away.

They strangle you. Yes, I love it.

Keep it up! Stay right there!

Don't do that with your thumbs.

-Let's take a break, please. -Wow. Viktor, amazing! I love it.

There. Careful, washcloth.

Well done, Dad.

Thanks.

That was quite extreme.

Yeah, but not as extreme as our ideals of beauty.

I just say BBL.

Do you also watch the basketball league?

No, BBL stands for Brazilian Butt Lift, it's a dangerous surgery on your butt.

-To make it smaller? -To make it bigger.

-A bigger butt? -It's the trend right now.

For women.

Just a second. A fat ass is hip?

-No, not fat. -Curvy.

If the flower has a kink, the butterfly was too big.

My mom always calls me "butterfly."

Because I love being outdoors.

-Hold tight. -Yes.

Maybe you want to go shopping for a bra together.

For her.

-What? -Sure.

Sure. What are you into? Black? Red?

I like bright colors, you know? What does she wear?

-That's none of your business. -Red. Definitely. Red.

-Yeah? -Sure, with the hair and everything.

Could we please change the subject?

-I used to buy lingerie for your mom, too. -Seriously?

Thanks for sharing. Really cool, great, but...

Once I got one by La Perla, I believe it was... a nice set.

A little see-through...

-and it had at the front such a... -Stop now.

Is everything okay?

-Yep, everything's great. -Great.

-Just great. -Okay, cool.

Well, that works.

What?

I won't go shopping for lingerie for my girlfriend with you. Are you crazy?

Why not?

-Because you're my dad. -Exactly.

Do you know she reminds me a lot of your mom?

Boy, I'll shoot myself. Could you please stop it now?

-Yes. -No, Mom looks totally different.

-I mean her nature and all. -Not at all.

She does. Your mom also got so excited about things,

built castles in the air, wanted to change the world.

-Just like her. -Ruby isn't crazy.

Nah, she turns knots into clothes.

With the sun, the female energy...

Your mom wanted to give lectures all over the world.

You know? And now?

A little therapist shack in Munich.

I tell you, unrealistic dreams can really get you down, my son.

Dad?

-Mom has over six million clicks. -What?

Her TED Talk?

Don't tell me you don't know her lecture "There's life before death"?

-That... -It went completely viral.

Your mother went viral?

Mom already made her dream come true. Just a little differently.

How? Your mother has what? Six million viewers?

Female viewers.

-Female viewers? -Yes.

They are all women?

-Want to take a look? -What?

That's amazing.

Yes.

That... Now, I am at the...

I don't know.

You took thousands of photos.

I'd say that's not fully symmetrical.

That's what's so great about it.

Well, but symmetry is important.

-Says who? -If...

No, nature.

Well, symmetry is a sign of health.

Everything that is healthy is seen as biologically beautiful.

We find symmetrical faces so beautiful.

Or would you eat a shriveled apple?

Exactly, I look like a shriveled apple.

-I think I'm hot. -Yes, you look good.

I like the shriveled apples from my grandma's garden.

I always use a filter to make my nose look smaller.

The nose smaller?

See?

This digitally engineered symmetry madness means that no one likes themselves.

-Yes. -Yes.

Yes. But isn't it the asymmetrical, the imperfect,

the supposed mistakes, that make us so unique,

make us memorable.

Exactly. That is like Cindy Crawford's mole.

Yes. Or like the droopy eye of Forest Whitaker.

I'd love to have Cara Delevingne's eyebrows.

I don't know her. But the mouth of Julia Roberts...

-That's too big. -Yes.

Why does Roger Whittaker have a droopy eye now?

Roger, who?

Roger Whittaker, he normally wears glasses,

-I've never seen him with a droopy eye. -Forest Whitaker.

That's a different person. Never mind.

And? Is it working again?

This old lady should be running again.

Let's start laundry right away, Carlos.

See? Fixing things, that is sexy.

I ordered the spare parts.

Mika?

Hey!

Are you okay?

There must have been power on it.

Crazy.

-What happened? -I don't know. There must...

I hadn't checked the cables on the machine yet.

Are you okay?

Nothing happened.

It's okay.

-All good? -Yes.

And you?

I'm okay.

-Some real shit could have happened. -Nothing happened.

That was shitty of me. Sorry. It was...

It was my fault. I didn't check the damn cables.

You always have to check the cables.

Sometimes I feel like everything I do doesn't make sense anymore.

What do you mean?

Everything.

Deliver, install, fix... If there even is anything to fix.

I thought you liked your job.

Maybe your mom was right.

Mom?

Why Mom?

Your mom always said to me,

"Viktor,

"go back to school, get your high school diploma, study mechanical engineering."

That's what I wanted to do then.

But I just wanted to make money.

Fast.

I thought your mother, she...

She's a dreamer.

Your mother...

She has six million viewers online and went viral.

Female viewers.

Yes, right.

Well, and I sometimes wonder...

Maybe she was right. Not me.

Do you remember my red sled?

With a steering wheel?

I think I was four or something.

I really wanted it, but it was damn expensive.

That was the Ferrari among the sleds.

Yes, but I got it anyway.

-For Christmas. -Yes.

But there was no snow all winter, right?

Yes, true, but...

What did you do?

What did I do?

You built a ramp for me out of wood.

Mounted some rollers under the sled so...

So I could speed down it all the time.

-True, that's what I did, right? -Yes.

I did that.

You always have ideas.

I don't know much about art...

I just wanted to say I think it's great what you're doing.

I mean it.

Good luck with the final exam, okay?

-Thank you. You really saved me. -My pleasure.

Have you ever thought about an extended warranty?

What?

-No. -No?

-No? -No.

No, she doesn't need an extended warranty, Michael.

She...

has you.

And me.

Excuse me.

May I borrow your vest?

Let's get some beers, okay?

Let's put the beer goggles on.

-You did really well. -Yes?

Yes, I used to... I used to be a model, too.

-Really? -I did a photo love story for a magazine.

"The new guy in class Ten B."

I might still have it at home.

I was the new guy.

...MEANWHILE IN BERLIN-KRUMME LANKE

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.

Your kingdom come.

Your will be done

as in heaven, so on earth

and in my garden.

So please send me quickly the robot lawnmower X9000.

With electric cutting height adjustment, LED headlights

and multi-zone management,

so that the weed chaos finally comes to an end

and so that I don't waste my earthly time mowing the lawn.

But praise your name.

Amen.

TOMORROW IS NOT PROMISED

Translation by Melanie Martin