Original subtitles

(Upbeat music)

(whipped cream hisses)

(phone beeps)

Marco speaking.

It's me.

I'm busy. What do you want?

I need to ask you something.

[Marco] Yeah.

(Adam grunts)

I'm sad.

Okay.

I am, I'm struggling to find the question there.

Uh, what are you doing?

I'm working, like everyone else who has to pay rent.

Do you like this new job?

No, I don't like anything that takes me away from

watching trash TV.

Is this why you wanted to call,

you wanted to talk about me for a change?

No.

Okay, do you have something else to say?

I'm very sad.

Yeah, yeah.

That's usually how you feel when you're a fucking idiot

and cheat on your boyfriend.

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I did not cheat.

Mm, I'm sure you didn't.

Not the right time for Marco's jokes.

Have you sent Gabe any more texts?

Oh, well, what's the point?

I mean, he hasn't responded to them, and it's been a,

and it's been a few weeks now, so I-

Oh, and thank you for remembering,

the meeting went very well today

and it is looking more likely like I'll be getting

that manager position.

That's terrific for you.

Oh, I love the sincerity, thank you.

Oh, and you'll be glad to know

that I will be getting more money,

a work car and a new phone.

Oh, life's so good to me right now.

Is this what, somehow meant to cheer me up?

No, you're too self-centered for it to do that.

I have to wee now.

Then you should go and do that.

Oh, and if you feel like talking later, don't call me.

I can't hear it anymore.

- Okay. - (phone beeps)

♪ Oh so soft and queer ♪

♪ You make me feel so good and make my body fly ♪

- (singer vocalizing) - (upbeat music)

(whipped cream hissing)

(actor panting)

Oh yeah, fuck me like a bitch.

Like a "Little House On The Prairie" bitch.

Oh, I love that show.

Let's watch it after. Fuck!

- (actor moaning) - Wait.

Would, would he actually say that to her?

I have to agree.

Go on.

I just think there's a better line for this moment.

Are you questioning my writing?

No.

Then we can keep going.

- (phone buzzes) - Oh my god, sorry.

This is my agent.

I have to take this.

You've got to be shitting me.

Okay, cut.

Let's reset for closeups.

(sultry pop music)

♪ I'm waiting here here before you now ♪

♪ You know me in your eyes ♪

♪ Don't hold your faith in words I use ♪

♪ I'll disappoint you, ooh ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm an animal ♪

♪ Yes, I'm an animal ♪

I look stupid.

Show me.

(suggestive music)

Do you like it?

- Yes. - (suggestive music)

Turn around.

(suggestive music)

Come here.

(suggestive music)

Drop and give me 20.

(suggestive music)

1, 2, 3, 4.

What, like for real, you want 20 pushups?

Start again.

[Clayton] 1, 2, 3, 4.

(gentle piano music)

(hand whacks)

Hey, Warhol, what's been happening?

You haven't returned any of my Chatty messages.

I haven't, I haven't been on much lately.

You missed the interview.

Omar waited for you.

Fuck, oh, fuck.

Um.

When? When was that again?

Yesterday.

Um, yeah, that's my bad.

I'm sorry, can we maybe-

Adam, people don't like it when they give you

an opportunity and you just go around and fuck it.

So what, that's what you think of me now?

What a big fuck up?

(soft electronic music)

Hey, mate, you all right, huh?

Just been pretty sad these past couple of days.

You all good?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm just super tired with work.

Mm, work, yeah.

I haven't seen Adam around, is he all right?

Good, yeah, super busy.

Always busy that boy.

But no, we're, we're good.

And not only are you a terrible liar,

but I know you haven't been at work these past few days.

Heidi told me.

So come on, what's going on?

Adam,

- Adam kind of cheated on me. - What?

Well, he's been lying to me.

He admitted that.

Oh.

Gabe, I'm so sorry.

With who?

Josh, his ex.

What the fuck?

What a dickhead.

And I thought he was the one, so.

Gabe, get your things, we're going somewhere.

- What? - Come on, let's go.

(car rumbles)

All righty, here we are.

What the actual fuck?

Why are we here?

Why are we at Adam's house?

I don't wanna be here.

We're gonna egg his car.

No!

Yes.

No.

We're not leaving here until you throw at least one egg.

I can't.

I don't mind sitting here until someone comes

and finds us.

Tyler, what the fuck?

I'm not doing this.

You'll regret it if you don't.

Oh my fucking god.

Yes!

(car door slams)

(egg tapping)

(keys jingle)

- [Gabe] Fuck, go. - (Tyler laughing)

- You okay? - Turn the car on, go.

- Go! - (Tyler laughs)

Go!

(car rumbles)

(gentle piano music)

Wake up.

Why would I want to do that?

What's going on with you?

You've been acting different.

I've been going through some stuff.

Is that the same stuff that stopped you

from going to the interview?

Kind of.

I'm sorry I fucked up.

I'm just all over the place lately.

Noticed.

Look, I don't want you to think I'm a fuck up.

Adam, it doesn't matter what I think.

Ultimately, it's how you see yourself.

Oh, I don't even know anymore.

Is there anything I can do to help?

I just don't wanna feel like this.

(birds chirping)

What are you doing?

- Do you not want me? - I'm not gay.

Yes, you are.

You're always flirting with me.

I'm just being playful.

You work for a queer mag.

Yeah, so?

Oh my god.

I'm sorry, Dylan.

It's cool.

You have really soft lips, so it wasn't all bad.

Well, there is that at least. (chuckles)

Now, if you want me to set up that interview again,

I need you to help me with something first.

Anything, you name it.

Watch your step.

(birds chirping)

So how'd you score the gig at the queer mag?

- Omar. - Ah, yeah.

He's a family friend of mine.

Always got in trouble when I was a kid,

he was always there for me.

So here I am, I guess.

- Just up there. - Oh, over here?

Yeah. Yeah.

- Oh, well, that's nice. - Yeah.

Okay, so now what?

We run.

Um.

Excuse you.

Why? Why are we running?

(upbeat music)

Why is your phone going off so much?

I foolishly downloaded a dating app.

And?

And nothing.

I get lots of random messages from guys

who have no face pics,

but they're insistent on seeing me nude, so.

Oh, what about this guy, Christopher?

He's got a, he's got a face.

Yeah, he's nice.

We actually went to high school together.

Oh, well, why don't you go to dinner with him?

It'll be much nicer than anything Theo or I will cook up.

- True. - Yeah.

And maybe a shower wouldn't hurt.

What happened to all the eggs?

Food's really good here.

You won't be disappointed.

I can't wait to try it.

Yeah, it shouldn't be too much longer.

I think they must be really busy tonight or something.

I'm not starving, so it's okay.

So tell me about you.

What do you do with yourself?

I work in customer service

for a telecommunication company.

Oh, like Telstra?

Yeah, yeah, exactly, just not Telstra.

Okay.

This food should be here by now.

What's the holdup?

Waiter. Waiter, hi.

- I work- - Excuse me, waiter.

- At a carwash. - Shh, shh, shh.

Hold that thought.

Hi, I'm really sorry,

but we've been waiting a really long time now.

It's kinda ridiculous.

Can, can you find out how long my food will be?

- I'll check. - Thanks.

God, you think when you're paying good money,

the food would arrive at a decent time.

This is fucking ridiculous.

- We could be next. - Maybe.

Let's get back to you.

So you said you wash dogs, that's amazing.

- How do, how do you- - Cars.

I work at a car wash.

Oh.

Right.

Ooh, yum.

That looks so good.

Where's my meal?

They lost it.

I bet that's it.

I'll wait.

No, don't wait, then it'll get cold.

- No, it's fine. - Hey, waiter.

Hi.

Hey, excuse me.

Okay.

Why don't we share your meal and then we can share mine?

You can have mine.

I'm not that hungry.

Seriously.

- No. - Yeah.

- Really? - Yeah.

Thanks.

- Mm. - (upbeat music)

I'm only gonna ask you one more time, all right?

You gimme the money.

You don't gimme the money.

Then I won't be able to go to the store

and get my Chocolate Crunchies.

All right?

- Okay, so you just hand me- - (phone buzzing)

We'll get back to this.

(dramatic music)

Hey.

- You're finally here. - He's here.

Took you long enough.

Don't listen to her.

She doesn't like waiting for things for some reason.

Sorry, I didn't realize it was like a set time to be here.

It wasn't, it wasn't.

Um, you told me five minutes.

That's on you.

- It has been five. - Whatever.

Don't listen to her as I just said.

Here, try this.

Thank you very much.

(upbeat electronic music)

Ooh, no, that's good.

Thanks for calling, by the way.

No, I'm just glad you're here.

Well, we're glad you're here.

I'm glad he's got somebody else to call

when he wants to get fucked up.

Don't listen to her.

She called me tonight.

Lies!

Well either way,

let's get fucked up.

Fuck yeah.

Let's get fucked up.

(upbeat music)