All language subtitles for Machete.2010.1080p.BluRay.x265-RARBG.srt

We're federal agents, not martyrs!

This is suicide!

She's just another kidnap victim.

What makes her special?

Because she's a witness
against Torrez?

He probably has her locked up,
drugged out of her mind.

We don't have to do this!

If not us...

then who?

I told you to stand down!

And not to try and capture Torrez!

Turn around now!

Son of a bitch, Machete!

You don't listen to orders!

You're going to get us all killed!
Wait for backup!

Whatever happens...

I'm with you...

boss.

This is the boss.

I'm sorry.

Get dressed.

It's too hot for clothes.

You're saving me from Torrez?
You've got balls.

That looks like me.

What's this long, hard thing?

My machete.

Is it sharp?

Very.

Good.

I got him.

I told you to stand down, asshole.

If you had listened to my orders,
you wouldn't be trapped.

How did I do?

This is what happens when you
insist on being the hero.

Why are you so insistent?

I own the entire force,
and not just here in México.

I own the DEA, I own the Marshals.

Why can't I own you?

Why don't you take the money I offer you
to look the other way?

What's your price?

Maybe I should ask your wife.

Your daughter,
she's in school right now, no?

I don't think so.

The honorable way to die
is to cut off your head.

But

you don't deserve to die honorably.

Burn it down!

Joining us right now,
we have Franklin Jonas,

deputy director of our local Immigration
and Customs Enforcement office.

Thank you, pleasure to be here.

What steps are you taking
to secure our borders?

ICE is working with local law enforcement
to improve patrols,

but there's over 2,000 miles of border
between Mexico and the United States

and over half of that is here in Texas.

So we need to attack the problem
at its source.

There's a whole support network that
not only helps illegal aliens get across,

but is helping them get settled
once they're here.

We need to uncover
and dismantle this network.

It's a top priority and our most talented
ICE agents are investigating the matter.

Agent Rivera. Day 23 of surveillance
for Operation Network.

The Network is suspected to be run
by a woman named Luz,

code-named Shé.

Tacos, café, tacos! What do you want?

Luz operates out of her taco truck
at the labor site.

You, load them up.

There's an interesting

face.

No, that's okay. Thank you.

I could help with...
No need.

He's new.

Run through database
for possible criminal background.

Male Hispanic, scars, tattoos.

"Don't fuck with me,
I won't fuck with you" attitude.

Hey!

You work today, pay me tomorrow.

Do you need a gardener?

Here. Get out.

Hurry up!

We're not there yet.
You can't leave us here!

She's sick.

Roundup time!

Look at them critters run!

Well, I don't speak much Mexican, neither.

You know,

you're trespassing

on my daddy's land.

Jesus, Von. Can't you see she's with child?

If it's born here, it gets to be a citizen.
No different than you and me.

I know most people don't like us.

Call us vigilantes.

But it's really about vigilance.

Somebody's gotta keep watch
on this great nation of ours.

Otherwise,

Texas will become Mexico once again.

Who's gonna stop 'em, Senator?

I am.

Welcome to America.

You catch all that?

Burn me a DVD. My high-dollar supporters
are gonna like that a lot.

The infestation has begun.

Parasites have crossed our borders
and are sickening our country,

leeching off our system,
destroying us from the inside.

But State Senator John McLaughlin
has a plan of attack.

He'll fight to keep illegal immigrants out.

He supports an electrified border fence.

No amnesty for parasites.

John McLaughlin wants to protect you
from the invaders.

Vote to re-elect
State Senator John McLaughlin.

Paid for by the Committee to
Re-elect State Senator John McLaughlin.

Hey ugly!

Wanna fight?

Don't tell me you'll pass up
500 dollars for 5 minutes.

He broke his arm! It's over!

You fucked up, clown!

Hey, thanks.

Can I get a couple of bean and cheese
and a café au lait?

Ain't got no café au lait.

Regular coffee, then.

And hold the spit, please.

Why do you pretend
to come here just for coffee?

I'm not pretending.
I actually like my coffee cheap and greasy.

I can refuse service to anyone.
It's the American way.

Yeah, when they're citizens.

Got your papers?

Same as the last time you checked.

And the time before that.

Got yours?

Same as the last time you checked.

You think what you do is right?
Taking your brothers and sisters in?

Deporting them back
to their own personal hells?

It's the law.

There are many laws.

There sure are.

Immigration fraud, aiding an illegal entry,

unsanitary food prep,

but you wouldn't know anything
about that, would you?

Can I get my tacos?

Who's Shé?

I hear she runs an underground network.

How the hell would I know?

I just make tacos and I sell them
to the workers of this world.

It fills their bellies
with something other than hate.

Funny. That sounds like
something Shé would say.

Catch you later.

In the race for state senator,
latest polls are showing a sharp decline

in support for incumbent John McLaughlin
and his hard-line position on immigration.

Get in.

$70 a day for yard work.

$100 for roofing.

$125 for septic. Sewage.

Have you ever killed anyone before?

You know this guy?

Senator John McLaughlin,

lndependent from Cocksucker County.

Built his reputation
on being a hardliner against wetbacks.

His words.

Yes, if he had his druthers,
he'd send you back to old México.

That's his platform, "Ship 'em all back,

"but first, make 'em build a wall
along the border for no pay.

"Thank you very much. Get the fuck out."

But what the senator fails to understand
is this state runs on illegal labor.

Thrives on it.

Keeps costs down,
keeps the wheels turning.

We bust that up and we're fucked.

My words.

Now, I'm guessing you don't have papers.

As you well know,
illegal immigrants like yourself

are being forced out of this country
in alarming numbers.

So, for the sake of both our peoples,

the senator must die.

And for that I will give you $150,000 cash.

Get someone else.

No time.

This job has to happen tomorrow.

I want you to take this cash,
do the job and disappear.

How long would it take you
to get this kind of money?

Five, 10, 15 years?

You could do a lot of good
things with this.

You deserve it.

Now, I can't make you do this,

but I can make damn sure
something happens to you if you don't.

Are you in?

Have a look at this.

Straight-line design,
laser-designated scope.

You can shoot the pecker off a mosquito
at 1,000 yards

and keep the balls unruffled.

Machete. That's only good
if you wanna make a brutal point,

but it's low-tech,
completely unsuited to our purposes.

Backup.

Here's your backup.

Me.

You call or text
if you have any problems or delays.

You need to be on that roof
by 1:00 p.m. sharp

and put a bullet in the senator by 1:04.

Get up.

God damn it, April. My business partner
has very low tolerance for bullshit.

That's the second operation
in the last six months

I've had to close down
because of your meddling.

I told you a thousand times,

you need something,
you come to me directly.

You do not go to these labs.

You got something to say to me?

Sorry, Daddy.

What's this?
$150,000 cash.

Are you out of your mind?

The Network helped me across once.

Use this for the people you help.

I don't know how you know
what you know,

but I'm glad I know you.

What do you want?

Yeah.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Senator John McLaughlin!

Well, I wanna thank you all
for coming out today.

And I wanna thank my supporters
from the bottom of my heart.

Because we have been tested,
tested by fire.

Our border has been put to the test,

and let me tell you,
we have failed that test.

The aliens, the infiltrators,
the outsiders, they come right across

by light of day or dark of night.

They'll bleed us. They're parasites.

They'll bleed us until we, as a city,
a county, a state,

a nation, are all bled out.

But make no mistake, we are at war.

Every time an illegal
dances across our border,

it is an act of aggression
against this sovereign state,

an overt act of terrorism.

Everywhere I go in this glorious state,
people are talking about change.

I say, "Why change? This is a great state
founded on the principles of liberty."

I don't wanna change that.

Our rightful citizens
are hardworking Americans

who earn their paychecks by the grit
of their guts and the sweat of their brow.

I don't wanna change that.

Change. That's what they want.
Change. Change the laws.

Open the doors. Red Rover, Red Rover,
let the terrorists come over.

Let me tell you what change that'll bring.

68 cents.

The jingle-jangle of pennies in your pocket

because the scavengers, the leeches,
the parasites

are walking away with your money
while you're left with the change.

So I wanna say one more thing.
Who are you gonna vote for?

You!
You!

There! Up there!
I saw someone fire from up there!

Get him to Park Lane.

Roger. I'm on my way.

Go ahead.

Shoot him, Nacho.

'Cause right after that,

the three of us

are gonna shoot the one of you.

Fuck, shit.

Try it.

Go ahead, Pancho. I'll grease your chips
all over this fucking alley.

This is fucking big.

This guy took a shot at a representative.
No, a senator.

Same fucking thing.
The guy could die and we caught him.

Hell, yeah, we did.

And they're gonna hang your ass
like Saddam.

Look, I'm gonna call the boss
unless you want to do it.

Nah, you go ahead.

Yeah, we got the Mexican blackbird
that fell off the rooftop.

Bring him to the basement.

He still thinks we're cops.

Well, of course he would think that.

We frisked him. We cuffed him.
We threw him in the car.

Apprehended him
just like the real cops do.

I didn't frisk him.

Yes, you did.
Man, I'm telling you. I didn't...

Shit! Jesus, man! What the fuck?

Slow down!

Shit!

Shocking news this hour.

Senator John McLaughlin was shot in the
leg this afternoon by an unknown gunman.

The senator was immediately
driven to Park Lane Hospital

where he is reported to be in good
and stable condition.

Video taken at the rally indicate

that the gunman may have been
of Mexican descent.

Senator McLaughlin has been very vocal
against immigration

and campaigned
for stricter border controls.

You see what I'm sending you, Mr. Torrez?

It's coming on my screen now.

That's campaign gold.

I thought my contributions
were for the senator's re-election

not his retirement.

McLaughlin is in, a guaranteed win.

And in the new session, as promised,

he'll ramrod
through everything we ask for.

Go back.

Who's this?

Nobody. A day laborer from the streets.
He won't be missed.

Is he dead?

Dead or dying on a rooftop as we speak.

Which the fuck is it, puñeta?
Dead or dying?

He'll be dead within minutes, I guarantee.

You better be right.

What?

It's me. It's done. I think he's toast.

Don't think, verify. Check the morgue,
check the hospital, check everywhere.

Most illegals aren't given
treatment at regular ERs.

But you're with us.

No one knows you're here yet.

You were brought in as a John Doe,
innocent bystander.

Is that him?
Yes.

Doc Felix wants to see him.

Quiet.

Amazing.
You can see where the bullet rebounded.

It was stopped by another bullet
that was previously lodged there.

If he hadn't been shot before,
he'd be dead now.

There's actually a lesson
in there somewhere.

I can feel your eyeballs in my uterus.

Well, at least it's not in your colon.

Actually, did you know
that the human intestine

is 10 times longer
than the length of the body?

Wait, so the human intestine
is 60 feet long?

It's true.

The hero has awoken.

Don't worry, friend.
We're all part of the network.

Just about everybody
at this hospital is.

Leave him alone.

Hi. What can I do for you?

What can you do for me?

I'm looking for a gentleman
that was just brought in.

Probably to lCU.

Where might I find him?

You wanna go straight down the hall
to your right,

make a left, two rights, and another left,
and you'll be right there.

You sure about that?

I'm gonna go this way.

Someone's coming.

We have to get him out of here.

Is there another way out of here?
No other exits.

You don't wanna mess with that.

That's a skull scraper.
We use that to scrape the bones clean.

And those cut through flesh
just like butter.

Pass me that tank.

Hold it!

Boss ain't gonna like this.
What are we gonna tell him?

Oops.

Rivera.
What's your 20, agent?

I'm on my lunch break, sir.
Lunch is over. All hell is breaking loose.

Someone took a shot
at Senator McLaughlin.

It was an illegal.

I'm watching it right now.
This amateur video was taken

outside County Hospital
just after the failed attempt

to assassinate Senator McLaughlin.

Authorities believe that this suspect
is extremely dangerous.

Son of a bitch.
What?

No, not you, sir.

I've seen him before.
Bring him in, Rivera.

Yes, sir, I'm on my way.

He may be in this country illegally
and that he is, of course,

to be considered armed
and extremely dangerous.

You're all over the TV, cabrón.
Come on, get inside. Hurry.

The shot fired
on Senator McLaughlin today

may be just the shot in the arm
his campaign needed.

New numbers indicate
that he has now taken a commanding lead

in the wake of today's incident.

Since his shooting, others agree that
border security should be heavily enforced.

Yes, detain the illegals!
Close the border!

Yeah. Didn't you cross the border
to get here, Jack?

Well, I'm already here.
Fine with me if they close it.

"Pussy." Pronounce it right, wey.

"Wey..."

You didn't have a choice.
Of course I believe you.

Why else would you give me the money?

But they'll be looking for your ass.

You'll be safe here.

Try not to bleed on the bed.

Are you Shé?

If I were Shé, do you think
I'd be operating a taco truck?

Shé brings hope. Shé rights the wrongs.

Unfortunately, Shé is a myth,

just someone I made up
to lead the Network.

At first, I just wanted to help
the people get settled.

Give them food. Find them work.

Now there's a war against us.

Von and his border vigilantes
hunting us down like dogs.

And there's no one there to stop him.
You can.

You're a fighter.

Only when there's something
worth fighting for.

Is there?

Always.

When the sun rises, you should be good.

Don't start what you can't finish,

Machete.

You know me?

I know the legend.

Maybe the legend's better.

I'll be the judge of that.

Where are you, misterioso?

Oh, my God.

Gunning the senator down in the street.
What on earth were they thinking?

Sometimes I worry about April
and what kind of world we're leaving her.

A fucked-up world.

I ought to wash your mouth out with soap.

Give me another taco.
Someone took a shot at the senator.

What kind of world would you call it?
A fucked-up world.

You're like two peas in a pod.

So, I think David's going
to ask me to marry him.

But I have priorities.

School and a career. Salsa.

Actually, I was thinking
more about my modeling.

You're a very pretty girl, April,
but that's a tough nut to crack.

I know all about cracking nuts.

Do you even know how many hits
I get on my website?

You have a website? She has a website?
Do you know about this?

I know all about
what the online public wants.

And they want me. All of me.

That does it. I'm sending you to a convent.

What?
He's loose.

He got away.
God damn it!

How hard is it to kill
a goddamn day laborer?

You go down to that corner
where I picked him up.

You find him. Do it!

You seen the bean wagon?

You speak .45?

Where's the taco truck lady at?

Hey, I don't know, man. I haven't
seen her this morning. She's late.

Shé?

You know where Shé lives.

All right, go get him.

You're all over the goddamn TV!

Get in!

Agent.

You're the second beautiful girl
that's picked me up today.

Exploding houses?

Bodies falling from the sky?
Jesus Christ, Machete.

You're a walking shit-magnet.

Yeah, I know who you are.

I'm Sartana Rivera,
lmmigration and Customs Enforcement.

ICE.
Fucking-A. La migra.

Don't worry, I won't ship you back
if you tell me what I need to know.

I'm working my way up. I can't be
busting people at taco stands anymore.

Hell, I'm probably related to half of them.

You need me more than I need you.

Come on.

You know all the cops in this state
are hunting you down

for trying to kill the senator.

I wasn't gonna kill him.
I was gonna shoot him in the neck.

Stop him from saying
all them stupid things.

It was a set-up.
There was another shooter there.

There was another shooter? Who?

Fuck!

Drive.

I know what they did to your family.

And if I were you, I wouldn't trust
anyone, either, but it's different here.

Laws are enforced.

And people control them, not drug lords.

The system works here.

Says you.

I started working on the night shift,
taking out the trash.

But I worked my way up as translator,
assistant.

Now I'm special agent
in charge of investigations.

Sounds like they still got you
taking out the trash.

Let me take you in.

Put you into witness protection.

All you got to do is tell me who hired you
to take out the senator.

Fine.

Holy shit.

You mean to tell me
that a Mexican day laborer

is a goddamn Federale?

Looks like CIA, FBI, or DEA
all rolled in one mean fucking burrito.

Is this the man you sent to kill Machete?

Yes.

And so far, he's failed?

So far.

I'm sorry to see you have such
a high tolerance for failure, puñeta.

I don't.

How's that?

Not bad.

Last time we spoke,
you could've mentioned

he was an ex-Federale, God damn it!

Notoriously hard to kill.

Trust me, I've tried.

Well, you didn't try
with the guy I'm calling in.

The very best the great state of Texas
has to offer.

Osiris Ampanpour.

If Machete is captured alive,
he'll expose my entire operation.

You have 24 hours to take him down,
or I'm coming there myself

and I will kill him myself.

Sorry, my friend.

Mi abuelita always said
you can solve any problem with food.

And you, my friend,
have plenty of problems.

So who are you working for?

Who wants the senator dead?

Is it the Network? Luz?

She doesn't know anything about it.

Network, either.

The man who hired me wasn't Mexican.

Really?

So he was just some random guy
who said,

"Hey, wanna kill the senator today?"
And you're like, "Cool."

I was afraid he wanted septic work.

Instead, he offered me $150,000
to kill the senator.

That's a lot of money.

So that's why you did it?

For the money?

Look, Machete,

you're not legal in this country.

And after what happened
to you in Mexico,

there is no way you're going home.

So, basically,
you're a man with no country.

Lucky for you, I can help you out.

Look at me.

I can get you papers.

But you gotta let me bring you in.

I'm gonna find the guy that did this

and bring him to you.

Why should I trust you?

Because we're both cops.

I'd tell you to stop,
but I know you took the bullets.

Luz!

You didn't think they'd take me down
that easily, did you?

You're alive! But your house, man.

It's beginning, my little chingones.

I got something to show you guys.
Come on.

I told you they were gunning for us.

Who knows what they're gonna do next?

Holy shit, Luz.

I didn't know you were this loaded.

You got more heat than the po-pos.

It's a good start,
but we'll need a lot more.

Need it for what?

Von and his men are coming for us.
We need to be ready.

I'm not gonna be around forever.

If anything happens, you need
to tell Machete the people need him.

Who exactly is this Machete?

That's him.

He's the one.

Hands up!

Shit.
Against the wall.

All of you. Move it.

Where's Machete?

Shit. She knows, man.
La migra's gonna deport his ass back.

Nobody's deporting anybody.

Machete already told me you guys
weren't involved with the shooting.

Although

I should probably check your carnitas

for lead.

What is this place, anyway?

Welcome to the Network.

These are some of the people I've helped.

Helped them cross, got them jobs

and I make sure they do their part.

And these?

These are the guys trying to stop us.

Von Jackson and his border vigilantes.

They started off with a couple of
deer rifles and a warped sense of justice.

And in the past year, they've grown.
More guns, more men.

Who's funding them?

Whoever it is
is making a mess of our operation.

And these?

Missing.

I have leads on a few of them.

They were supposed to have crossed,
but I have no way to track them.

How deep does your operation go?
Deep.

All types, all races.

Lawyers, priests, doctors, homeboys.

That's why they call it the Network.

The way we see it,
people risked everything to get here.

But the system doesn't work.

It's broken.

So we created our own.

So, Migra, gonna burn us, huh?

Turn us all in?
No.

I'm gonna walk away
and pretend I didn't see any of this.

Tell Machete I'm looking for him.

I am a man of faith. I took a vow of peace.

And I don't shoot anymore.
You don't shoot any less, either.

I don't see you,
hear from you in three years,

and now you want me to help you
kill all these men?

Yes, Bro.

I mean Padre.

I'll see what I can do.

I want you to say 10 Our Fathers
and 10 Hail Marys.

Light a candle for Mama.

For funerals. A little side business.

I had these installed when too many
things started walking away

from the altar and collection plates.

Imagine if we had this kind of setup
when we were Federales.

This is how you get the bad guys now.
You catch them on video.

Cuban?

Mexican.

Oh, yeah. I got some of that.

I got something I want you to see.

Rest assured, he will be caught.

This is the first shot of a war
that we didn't ask for...

Nice way to find out
your brother's in town.

But these intruders, they mean to have.

Right there.

We can only hope that the perpetrator...

That's the guy that hired me.

Michael Booth?
He's McLaughlin's aide, or some shit.

That the senator advocates
no form of violence.

You know him?

Yeah.
He comes in for confession all the time.

Lot of impure thoughts.

Mostly about his daughter.

I guess I'm cheaper than a shrink.

Here's his file.

Once he started talking about
his connections to the cartels,

I figured it'd come in handy.

I bet McLaughlin doesn't even know
that most of Booth's businesses

are just a front for his drug trade.

What I don't understand is, why would
he hire you to kill his own boss?

Don't know.

Gonna find out.

It's not safe for you to be here.

I'm not looking for safe.

No, I mean it's not safe for me
for you to be here.

I absolve you of all your sins,
now get the fuck out.

Okay, Bro.

But I'm borrowing your car.

He was complaining about a weak neck.

I said,
"You should fucking do some sit-ups."

Hey. Hey, boss.

Who are you?

The new gardener.

The gardener?

I'm just fucking with you, chief.

It's Hungarian for
"I'm gonna kill you, you little monkey."

You know what?
There's a big pile of shit in the back.

You can go and clean that up, all right?

Just make sure you do a good job.

Make sure you wipe those boots off.
Don't want you carrying shit in the house.

You ever notice
how you let a Mexican into your home

just because he's got gardening tools?

I mean, no questions asked.
You just let him right in.

He could have, you know,
a chainsaw or a machete.

Stop it!

Damn it, that hurt!

If your father ever saw me doing this...

Mom, everyone is gonna see you do this.
It's the lnternet.

This is what my viewers wanna see online.

Hey. You're not the usual guy.

He looks good to me.

Well, don't be shy. Come on in.

Holy...

What the fuck did you bring them here for?
Didn't you hear a goddamn word I said?

Want me to dump them?
What? No.

No, I will make good use of them.
The church can always use good people.

June?

April?

Where are my wife and daughter?

Whoa. One family at a time. It's Osiris.

Machete has an hermano.

Or should I say Padre.

State Senator John McLaughlin
took a vow

to defend the constitution of this state.

Now, he's taken a bullet for it.

And this is that bullet.

Vote to re-elect Senator John McLaughlin.

I'm John McLaughlin
and I approve this message.

Yeah.

Sorry, ma'am. These damn new phones.
Should've put it on vibrate.

Can you help me do that?

Pervo.

Yeah?

Senator? This is Von.

I hear you got a problem
that maybe we can fix.

Don't call me on this line again.
I'll call you.

Now, you said it yourself, Senator.

The war's begun. Helter Skelter's here.

Your army awaits further orders.

Well, gotta be respectable now.
No shit stains.

What about the shooter?
He's still out there.

There's nothing I'd like more
than to see that Mexican dance the bolero

at the end of a rope.

But he's gone underground for sure.

Well, I say we go underground
and get him.

Find the Network
and you'll find the shooter.

Call our special friend.

Tell him we're gonna need
a hell of a lot more firepower

if he's serious about
wanting that border shut down.

I fixed your damn gun.

Thanks.

Our friend is up.

What do you want?

Where the fuck have you been?

You could've at least texted me.

Machete don't text.

But Machete gets evidence.

Thanks for coming back.

There's no way McLaughlin is getting
elected unless something big happens.

Can you imagine
if someone shot the senator,

and that someone was a Mexican?

The public would elect him President.

It's not a sin if someone clips the senator
in the leg, is it?

So this is footage
from your brother's confessional?

There's no commandment against,
"Thou shalt not wing a man,"

is there, Padre?

But these files over here
you got from Booth's office?

They're encrypted.

It's my little girl, April.
I spend nights...

You don't think it's gonna be that easy,
do you?

I just wish that April saw me
as more of a real man.

Holy shit.

You were right.
The Network isn't behind it.

This is something a hell of a lot bigger.

You've got enough here
to bring down everyone.

The senator, Booth.

Von.

Look, here.

There's Mexican drug money financing
the senator's campaign.

"Rogelio Torrez"?

Torrez.

He's the drug kingpin who's been trying
to gain control of the drug trade.

This must be the border fence
McLaughlin wants to build.

See this?
These markings show the weakest spots.

It all makes sense now.

Torrez wants to get
Senator McLaughlin re-elected

so that he can build a border fence
that he can control.

You did good work, Machete.
I bet you were a great cop.

The best.

And modest, too.

I'm dry.

Get up.

Why?

Because you're drunk.

Come lay with me.

Depends on the question.

We know you hired that Mexican
to kill our senator.

You're the Network, ain't you?

Hell, you're behind everything.

That's not how we work.

But if you want war,

I'll give it to you.

How about an eye for an eye?

You burned your last burrito.

You're gonna have to get better
at this, Billy.

Fuck!

Please, Father. Have mercy.

God has mercy. I don't.

Hello, Padre.

Blood of Christ.

Tastes like Merlot to me.

Where is he?

He's everywhere.

Talk, Padre.

Sing me one of those Mexican hymns
like you crooned as an altar boy.

Go to hell.

You wanna be a martyr?

I'm good at making martyrs.

Like Senator McLaughlin?

That's right.

We have to get the senator re-elected,

and get that fence built along the border
before it's too late.

You really hate our kind that much?
No, Padre.

I hate declining profits that much.

An open border allows supply
to flow in too easily.

Drives our prices down.

A secure border limits supply,
drives the prices up.

Higher prices, higher profit.

You're so drunk with power,
you even put a hit on your own boss.

Just to boost his election numbers.

Last chance, amigo.

Where's Machete
and where are my wife and daughter?

In hell.

Then give them my best.

A real gentleman.

No. I'm comfortable.

Culebra Cruzado?

If they called him in...

Then they want you dead, too.

Wait.

How do you text with this thing?

I thought Machete don't text.

Machete improvises.

Where are you going?

Take out the trash.

Machete sent me a text.

What's it say?

"You just fucked with the wrong Mexican."

He's coming after us.
No.

He's coming after you.

You have some news?
Yes.

His brother's dead.

You killed a priest? Congratulations.

That's right, Booth. I'm in your town.

And I'm gonna kill Machete
and you're gonna watch it happen.

And it will be the last thing you see.

Wait a second!

There's a girl from ICE.

She's with Machete on this.
They have a file on me,

on you, on McLaughlin, on everybody.
She can make things very difficult for us.

Where is she?

You know, I've been thinking.

We let these people into our homes,

watch our kids, park our cars.

But we won't let them into our country.

Does that make any sense to you?
Hey.

That wetback clubbed us both
over the head.

In case you forgot, he shot me in the leg.

I thought Django shot you.

I don't wanna hear that story ever again.

Well, think about it.

He wasn't here for us.
He was here for the boss.

And I've been watching the boss,
and this guy's a real scumbag.

Hey, hey, hey. Cut that shit out.
Where's your loyalty at?

You hear that?

It's the weed whacker!

He's back! Spread out! Spread out now!

Alpha unit, you copy?

I quit.

Fuck. Anybody report? Can you hear me?

Anybody?

Where's Booth?

The senator. He's with the senator!

I have a GPS.

Tracks his limo. Take it.

Just don't kill me, please. Take it.

That's Spanish for, "I'll let you live."

Thanks, chief.

So let me see if I'm hearing you right.

One of this city's
most prominent businessmen,

a Texas vigilante, the most
notorious drug kingpin of Mexico,

and a state senator are all conspiring
to enact stricter immigration laws?

I know how it sounds, but I have Booth
on video committing a murder.

I have tons of confessions. I mean, it's...

Listen to yourself.
This man is an illegal alien.

Illegal, as in against the law.

Well, there's the law,
and there's what's right.

I'm gonna do what's right.

We are live at the Church of Hope,
where just moments ago

police discovered
a gruesome murder scene.

The body of a priest was found
nailed to a cross.

And witnesses' descriptions
of a man leaving the church

match those of the gunman wanted
for the shooting of Senator McLaughlin.

Excuse me, honeys. Just shut the door.
Give us a moment.

On the streets, they call him Machete.

Who is he? What is he?
Thank you, darling.

And will he ever be brought down?

Where the fuck have you been?

This dog is burning
this whole fucking town to the ground.

He's giving us a war.
I want to know we can win.

He's a cockroach.
Sooner or later, he'll be squashed.

Yeah? Well, this cucaracha's got AK-47s

and he's laying waste to everything
that gets in his fucking path.

I'm taking care of it.

They're scheduling me for release
in a couple of minutes.

I can't walk out of here like a fucking
piñata waiting to get whacked.

The man they are calling Machete...
We're ready for you, Senator.

May have been involved
in the killing of a priest.

It's show time.

You forgot your cane, sir.

Milk it.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Senator John McLaughlin!

Thank you. Thank you.

This Frito Bandito
is not any closer to justice.

I urge this criminal and those
who are hiding him to turn him in.

He is destroying us from the inside,
like the plague that he is.

We must not let the terrorists win.

Senator, there are reports
implicating your advisors

as having orchestrated
the assassination attempt.

Would you care to comment?

Do what now?

You wanna be a martyr?

I'm good at making martyrs.

Like Senator McLaughlin?

That's right.

We have to get the senator re-elected,

get that fence built along the border
before it's too late.

Or do you care to comment
on the shooting

that happened at the border
on the night of July 22nd?

Who's gonna stop 'em, Senator?

I am.

Welcome to America.

You catch all that?

Burn me a DVD. My high-dollar supporters
are gonna like that a lot.

How about your connections
with drug kingpin Rogelio Torrez?

No further comment. I'm sorry. I just...

Are the border vigilantes
involved in running drugs?

I think I'm having a heart attack.

God damn it, if you don't relax,
you will have one.

You jeopardized more than my career
with that wetback.

He could've killed me.

Not with that scope.

You stupid son of a bitch.

You pull something like that
without consulting me?

Who the fuck do you think you are?

I'm the one who got
your campaign financed.

Made you a political powerhouse.
Your own personal Jesus.

So you better get down on your knees

and start praying for me to save your soul

because I'm the only one
who can at this point!

Get the fuck out.

God damn it, man.

Why don't you just die?

This could've worked.
We could've been rich.

Torrez, he wanted to stop all that
cheap shit from moving across the border.

Got tired of competing with every pendejo
with a dime bag and a dream.

So we financed Von,
gave him and his men guns.

The vigilantes.

Our own private little border patrol.
But Torrez wanted the whole enchilada.

So I thought, why not let politics do
what guns couldn't?

Funny thing is, I thought it would be
a more peaceful resolution.

How's that torch your taco?

Wait, wait. Torrez is looking for you.

You find Von, you'll find Torrez. Please.

Tell me, where are my wife and daughter?

With God.

Well, I guess I won't be seeing them.

Fuck, my fucking head.

What the shit?

That asshole drugged us.

Where's our clothes?
Call Daddy.

It's June, and April.

We're very sorry, Mrs. Booth.
Your husband is dead.

He's what?
Senator McLaughlin shot him.

Yeah, kill the wetbacks. Good.

Vigilante leader Von Jackson refused
comment after startling revelations

of their connections
to a Mexican drug cartel.

This is Von.

I'm coming in.
We're all over the news, Senator.

You compromised
everything we've worked for.

There's only one way this thing
is gonna end. Smoke him out.

But I wanna put the bullet
in his head myself.

And just how do you figure on doing that?

I'm joining you boys
for one last ride-along.

Machete.

Where's Luz?

She's gone, man. Vigilantes got her.

And now they're after you.

You gotta lead us to fight them.
It's what Luz would've wanted.

It's not your war.

I may be adopted, ese...

No shit.

What's going on is not right.
We just wanna help, bro.

I don't need your help.

If not us,

then who?

Whatever you need, we'll build it,
strip it, chop it.

What's ours is yours, homes.

Got guns?

If we find Von, we find Torrez.
And we can take them all down at once.

Hey, yo, everyone! Listen up!
We got some work to do!

Machete needs your help or he'll be killed,
just like Luz, just like Padre.

Listen to me!

Yes, I am a woman of the law.

And there are lots of laws.

But if they don't offer us justice,
then they aren't laws!

They are just lines drawn
in the sand by men

who will stand on your back
for power and glory.

Men who deserve to be cut down.

It is time to erase their mierda lines

and show these cabróns
the meaning of true law!

We didn't cross the border,
the border crossed us!

¡Viva Machete!

You're Machete's girl.
I know because you're his type.

What type is that?

Dead.

Earlier today, Senator John McLaughlin
allegedly pulled a gun

on his advisor Michael Booth,

and shot him twice
in the chest after an altercation

following the disastrous reveal
earlier this afternoon

of the senator's connection
to Mexican drug kingpin Rogelio Torrez.

Network.

According to recent reports,
McLaughlin's re-election campaign

has been funded entirely by Mr. Torrez.

Machete!

Network says the senator
is calling in the vigilantes to kill you.

And that Agent Sartana,
she's been captured by Torrez.

They're all heading to Von's armory
to load up.

Time to roll out.

Get me a vest and a rifle.

My great granddaddy
did not give his life at the Alamo

so that we could sell out our nation
to a bunch of back-stabbing politicians.

What are you talking about?
You lied to us.

And you paid that Mexican
to put on an act

to fool the people,
and to make fools of us.

Now he's on his way, and no doubt
bringing a whole mess of bean eaters.

You seem to be quite fond
of the boob tube, Senator.

You've been in the desert too long, amigo.

Well, let's see how
this blows your skirt up.

We're gonna simulcast your execution
for the crime of treason.

No shit stains.

Okay, they're on their way!

Get to your posts!

Come on! Let's roll them up!

Time for your last testament.

There's no second takes.
So get your lines right.

Hold the line.

I have desecrated the oath of office,

and I am a traitor deserving of death.

Ready!

Fucking parasites! Fucking terrorists!

Aim.

Shit.

Two of you stay with him.
The rest of you, outside.

Shit.

Fuck them up!

How's the eye?

What eye?

If you wanna survive your own war,
you better become Mexican real fast.

You got enemies on all sides, Senator.

Who can you trust?

You aim to take down
those good old boys?

Then I'm with you.

Take out that Mexican!

Fire, God damn it!

Von, we're fucked.

We gotta get out of here.

Get out of here! Go!

Sister.

Please.

I've done wrong.

I've lived a hateful life.
I'm not even from here.

I hate Texas. I hate the heat.
Give me my last rites.

In the name of my father...

My... My father?

April?

I forgot the rest.

You never knew how to stay down, puñeta.
So I guess I have to teach you.

You have something to say?

Now you have something to say?

Back the fuck up and watch.

We used to be Federales together.
You remember?

We were brothers.

But you went for the honor.

And I went for the power.

We killed a lot of bad guys together.

Now I'm the bad guy.

What do you wanna do, hermanito?

Look at your Machete now, cabrón.

He's gonna kill him.

No, he's not.

He's Machete.

Got a point.

You know,
I could kill you right now very easily.

Believe me, this is nothing.

This ain't shit.

But...

I know you'll just be
waiting for me in hell.

So...

I think I'll say goodbye.

Fuck it.

There's one!

Goddamn cockroach!

Can't speak English, can you, boy?

Stop. No. No.

Welcome to America!

What, do you wanna see my lD?
Don't bother.

I've got something better.

I called in a few favors.

Look at this.

Got you all the right papers.

You can start over now, be a real person.

Why do I want to be a real person
when I'm already a myth?

Where will you go?

Everywhere.

Then I'll ride with you.