Original subtitles

[♪ upbeat music playing]

Kelci Fyre is such a cool name.

I wish my name was flammable.

You mean, like, "Burning Buffoon"?

Exactly.

[sighs in exasperation] It's no fun if you like it.

I can't believe we're this close to pop star royalty.

I feel like we just got here.

Actually, we've been here almost five hours,

but it's worth it.

"Play My Demo Song for Kelci Fyre" is number 201 on my list.

♪ I drove in a construction crane ♪

♪ But my telescoping arm was all in vain ♪

♪ I hydraulic-lifted our love ♪

♪ But the cables got stuck ♪

♪ I gave my all-- ♪

[grunting, shrieks]

[groans]

I was seeing double for a week

but it gave me a great idea for a song.

Kelci's gonna love "I'm Seeing Double."

It's inspired...

by an accident with a ceiling fan!

You put your song on a cassette tape?

Those are, like, 30 years old.

Hey, you carry around a pickle that's old enough to vote.

Plus, on the third track of her fourth live album,

Kelci says,

"Down with digital, cassettes are whimsical."

I do love me a slant rhyme.

Kelci will get it.

You'll see.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

Whoa! I mean, wow! I mean, hi!

I'm so nervous. Will you sign my face?

I mean, my shirt.

Sure. That's a nice-looking pen.

You're a nice-looking pen.

Quit while you're ahead, Elliott!

[chuckles]

[sighs contentedly]

[groans] We got a fainter!

Tuli! Clean this up.

Two or three more autographs, Kelci.

- Then we're done here. - What?

These people have waited for hours.

- My fans deserve-- - Zilch.

We already have their money.

- We gotta stay on schedule. - [sighs]

This line isn't moving at all.

I know!

Hey, Kelci! Watch this!

- [beeps] - [♪ upbeat music playing]

- Whoa! - [woman gasps]

[grunting]

- [yells] - [objects clattering]

Well, that was unlucky.

Oh, my gosh. It wasn't me this time!

[eagle screeching]

Not again!

Hey! You okay in there?

[groaning]

- Whoa! You look like me. - [gasps]

I... I do?

I do!

Hi, I'm Kelci.

I know, dingus!

Oh, my gosh. Why did I call you a dingus?

I'm Hailey.

[Janica] Kelci, where are you?

Tuli! Find her, or someone's getting fired!

[♪ dramatic music playing]

Ugh! It's my manager, Janica.

I gotta get out of here.

I know a place where no one will find you.

Are you kidding me? An all-you-can-eat tuna buffet?

I love it.

It's so... real.

[sneezes]

I just can't believe I'm here with Kelci Fyre.

Please, call me by my real name,

Kelsey Fire.

Isn't that the same thing?

They're spelled differently.

I can't believe I'm sitting here with two Kelci Fyres.

It's crazy how much you two look alike.

Hey, that gives me an idea

that's probably never been done before.

Hailey, would you want to swap places with me?

I don't know. I'm kinda used to sitting on this side.

It is nicer here by the window.

No, I mean, be me. And I'll be you.

Just for a few hours.

I really miss being a regular, boring person like you.

Thank you?

But I mean, sure! Who wouldn't want to be you?

The fame, the fortune!

- [Beta] The list item! - Oh, right!

Um, I'd be happy to swap places...

if you'd be willing to listen to my demo song?

Deal. A real old-school demo tape on cassette.

So cool!

I always say--

[both] "Down with digital, cassettes are whimsical!"

And like I always say,

"No matter how you slice it, it's still lasagna."

I've never heard you say that.

I know. I just wanted to fit in.

Are you sure this is going to work?

Oh, my gosh, it worked! You look just like me!

Oh! There you are, Kelci.

Where have you been?

Uh...

Meeting my psychic, Scott,

and my stylish friend Hailey.

You have a psychic named Scott?

Oh, wait, that's me.

[softly] Because of the lie.

- Ow! - Okay, whatever.

As long as we stay on schedule. Let's go.

Ah! I guess it's just you and me, real world.

That floor tuna's not sitting right with me.

[vomiting]

So real.

Come on! It's like you don't even know where the tour bus is.

Yes, I feel that way, too.

- [gasps] - [Scott] Whoa.

- [Hailey] It's so huge! - [Beta] It's yoked!

Kelci, don't be ridiculous.

It's the same size it was yesterday.

[snaps fingers] Tuli!

Check to see if the bus is the same size as yesterday.

- Whoa! - [♪ upbeat music playing]

A hot tub!

Forty different flavors of fro-yo!

Working seat belts!

Man, our school bus doesn't have any of these things.

- A bear could get used to this. - [seat vibrating]

Seems rude not to try all 40 flavors of fro-yo.

[Janica] Guess again.

Today, you have back-to-back meetings,

photo shoots and promos to do.

I guess that's the life of a pop star. I can't wait!

Thanks, Tuli. I'm ready to do Kelci--

I mean, my signature flip.

So cool.

[♪ pop music playing]

I'm doing it!

[grunts] I can't... stop... doing it!

I live for this peppermint face cream.

I... live for this onion gum.

I live for these flushable wipes.

Flushable wipes?

Do I really live for these?

Guess so.

[photographer] Now, look untouchable, but also relatable.

And now timeless, but of the moment.

And now you stepped in a puddle,

but maybe you like it.

[shrieks]

[teeth chattering]

Good. Now do it with the flaming batons!

Flaming batons?

[fire flares]

[♪ somber instrumental music playing]

This being a star thing is a lot harder than I thought.

- [Beta and Scott] Uh-huh. - Even the fun stuff isn't fun.

[both] Uh-huh.

And sometimes, dragons fly out of my nose.

- [both] Uh-huh. - Guys, you're not listening!

Oh! Sorry, Hails. These VR headsets are incredible.

It's like we're actually swimming through the lost city of Atlanta.

It's Atlantis, you buffoon.

Stop embarrassing your-- [shrieks]

Kelci! Great news.

Nick Jonas broke his tailbone on a treadmill.

How is that great news?

It means there's an opening to perform your new song on Oceanside Tonight.

Tonight! But it doesn't shoot tonight,

it shoots now. So we gotta go.

She-- I mean, I am gonna perform Kelci's--

I mean, my... new song on live TV?

Yes! How much of that onion gum did you eat?

Let's go!

[cell phone buzzes]

You've got Janica.

Scott! I can't perform on TV!

Good point. TV is a dying medium.

Save your debut for the big screen.

No! I can't do it because I don't know

Kelci Fyre's new song,

because I'm not Kelci Fyre!

Oh, yeah.

Because of the lie.

[line beeping]

Oh! Kelci's phone is off.

She must be enjoying her day. Rude.

Wait! I know where she is!

Beta, can you distract Janica?

I'm a hyper-advanced supercomputer from 50 years in the future, Hailey.

I always have a foolproof plan.

[beeping]

[cell phone buzzing]

[Beta on phone with accent] Hello.

This is the number-one trending star on Clik Clok.

You're that cat that plays the tuba?

Uh, yes, I am.

And apparently, I talk now too.

So how about that?

[cash register dings]

[♪ pleasant music playing]

[Scott] I'm not sure why we're at Cost Whoa!,

but I'm definitely enjoying these free samples.

Pork pancake?

Yes, but later. I bet Kelci is here.

The title of her fifth track from her fifth album is

If I Had a Day Off, I'd Spend It At Cost Whoa!

Kelci has great taste.

Speaking of, should we get a 9-pound bag of Fugles for only ten bucks?

Canadian flavor!

Kelci!

You know what? I'm gonna get the Fugles.

Otherwise, we're just leaving money on the table.

Oh, Hailey!

Thanks again for this time.

I've been so relaxed and inspired,

I wrote a few songs.

Plus, I just listened to your demo.

- It's great. - That's awesome.

And I'm glad you're relaxed, Kelci, because I am freaking out!

- Chamomile tea? - Thank you, Scott.

Janica booked me-- well, you, to sing on Oceanside Tonight. Tonight!

Oh, I'd love to do that show, but I can't.

Janica will nitpick my every move.

She takes all the fun out of making music.

Then forget Janica.

Do it for you.

You're the artist everyone loves,

and you deserve to be happy.

If Janica can't deal with that, then get rid of her.

Hmm. Good point.

Thanks, Hailey.

Between the tricked-out tour bus and this wholesale store,

I'm living my best life! Backflip!

[grunts, groans]

- [♪ pop music playing] - Well, thank you, Mr. Tuba Cat.

As your new manager, I'll make you an even bigger star than you are now.

You better!

Also... [hesitates] Meow! Bye!

- [beeps] - Kelci, where have you been?

- We are-- - Way behind schedule.

I know. But you know what?

I actually took time for me today,

and it reminded me what's important.

My music.

What's your point?

My point is, you're fired...

Mom!

Wait! Janica is your mom?

Fine by me.

I'm onto something way bigger anyway.

I've got a talking cat that plays tuba on the hook.

So clearly, one of us is making a big mistake.

[snaps fingers]

See you at dinner, Kelci!

Thanks for your help, Hailey.

Tonight, I'm gonna sing your song,

and I want you to sing it with me.

Wow.

But me? Sing on TV?

If I can stand up to my mom-ager,

then you can sing your song.

And if I can fit 73 spinach tots in my pocket,

then I can eat them, too.

You know what, Kelci?

Today was incredible, but it made me realize

that being regular old Hailey is pretty great.

Sure, being a star is glamorous, but what really matters

- isn't fame or fortune-- - [♪ pop music playing]

Dude, our song is starting!

- We gotta go. - Oh! Right.

[audience cheering]

So let's bring her out.

Someone you all clearly like more than me, and that's fine.

[chuckles] I'm doing fine.

Uh, Kelci Fyre!

- [audience cheering] - [♪ upbeat music playing]

♪ Something's happened ♪

♪ The stars are aligned ♪

♪ It's twice the magic ♪

♪ 'Cause we're two of a kind ♪

♪ Seeing double ♪

♪ With you, I'm stepping out on the full moon ♪

Twin Kelcis?

[all cheering]

♪ With you, I'm living a double-double Two pieces of a puzzle ♪

♪ Seeing double ♪

♪ So clear I see it now ♪

[audience cheering]

[gasping] Twin Kelcis! [exclaiming]

[Scott] Oh... I just wanted to fit in!

[Hailey] ♪ The future's in my hands ♪

♪ World's what you make it ♪

♪ Get up and chase it ♪

♪ Leaving nothing to chance ♪

♪ I'm taking action, making it happen ♪

♪ No matter what tomorrow might bring ♪

♪ I got the guts to do anything ♪

♪ The future's in my hands ♪

♪ Promise I'm on it ♪

♪ I'm on it ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

- [chorus] ♪ Hey, hey, hey! ♪ - [Hailey] ♪ Hailey's on it! ♪