Original subtitles

[Beta] Chaos bots have been sent from the future

to stop the one person who can save the world.

Me?

- [chorus] ♪ Hey, hey, hey! ♪ - [Hailey] ♪ Hailey's on it! ♪

♪ Teach a cat to play the piano ♪

♪ Roller-skate all the way to Orlando ♪

♪ Use my ear wax? ♪

♪ To make a candle ♪

- [chorus] ♪ Hey, hey, hey! ♪ - [Hailey] ♪ Hailey's on it! ♪

♪ Win first place for world's cutest pet rock ♪

♪ Do a corn maze Hope I don't get lost ♪

♪ Eat an onion ♪

♪ Kiss my friend Scott? ♪

- Huh? [grunts] - [object clatters]

I squished my pickle!

- [chorus] ♪ Hey, hey, hey! ♪ - [Hailey] ♪ Hailey's on it! ♪

- [♪ pleasant music playing] - [hoots]

- [hoots] - What?

[♪ intense music playing]

- [screeching] - Hey, stop following me.

Please! I have a family!

[yells]

Phew! Five thousand pieces.

- [shrieks] - [gasps]

Open up!

I'm being stalked by a bird of prey!

Maybe we let this play out.

- [gasps] - [hoots]

[squawking]

Wow, the rare snowy owl, Bubo Scandiacus.

- It's so majestic. - Whoa! It just ate a snake.

[hoots]

Well, that took a turn.

Looks like it left a package.

That owl has excellent handwriting.

Yeah, I don't think... Just open it.

[Scott reading]

Hello, Scott Denoga.

It's a pleasure speaking to you.

You're becoming quite a fine young man.

Has this guy been watching me?

Let me introduce myself.

I'm Klaus Gimlet,

headmaster of Ingebretsen Luge Academy.

And you, Scott, are a luge legacy.

- Cool! - Legacy?

What's luge?

[♪ emphatic music playing]

Everything on Ingebretsen's campus

is designed to maximize the luger lifestyle.

From our state-of-the-art training gymnasium

to our five-star spa, offering restorative massages.

Have to keep those calves limber!

We all know everyone on Earth wants to be a luger.

I do now!

But few possess the dedication,

the poise, the resilient luger spirit

that runs in your blood.

I'm a luger.

I've been a luger my whole life.

[all] When we compete, we luge!

Those slack-eyed kids don't sit right with me.

- [hoots] - Scott, when you turn 18,

a spot in our distinguished community awaits.

Pending, of course, your run time at our Invitational Luge Expo.

But knowing your pedigree, that won't be a problem.

- Come accomplish greatness! - [hooting]

See you at the Invitational!

[music ends]

You got a personalized recruitment video for... luge?

I guess so.

I've never even tried it.

But you heard the headmaster dude.

I've been chosen.

Apparently, luging is in my blood,

along with high cholesterol.

Let's try it out!

[♪ upbeat instrumental rock music playing]

[whooping]

[yelling]

Hey, you're actually pretty good, I think.

Whoo-hoo!

That was awesome!

That was not awesome.

There will be no lugers in my house.

Whoa! I haven't seen your mom this worked up

since her pizza cutter went dull.

It had one job!

Scott, I've never told you this before,

but your father was a luger.

No way.

Dad's an ophthalmologist.

When he picked us up from school last week,

he got winded telling us about

his latest cataract surgery.

He's no athlete.

[Hailey] That's an understatement.

Mr. Denoga has real indoor vibes.

That's him. He's an eye doctor over in Carlsbad.

Eddie and Sunny are divorced but are still close

and do family karaoke on Wednesdays.

But luge?

No way Eddie's a luger!

- [bell dinging] - No way Dad's a luger.

Sit. You're old enough now.

I'm gonna tell you a cautionary tale.

When Eduardo and I first met,

he was a luger through and through.

- [♪ upbeat music playing] - He was so cool and carefree.

And I was still trying to live out my parent's dream

by drowning myself in boring med school homework.

But Eddie encouraged me to follow my dream

and become a restaurateur.

Life was perfect.

But one day, tragedy struck.

- He crashed going 90 miles an hour. - [Eddie grunts]

- [crashes] - [Scott gasps]

[Sunny] That's not the tragedy.

Eddie broke his legs in ten places!

- [Hailey and Scott gasp] - That's not the tragedy, either.

The real tragedy was that in the hospital,

Eddie developed a deep respect for doctors.

So deep, he decided to go to med school and become one himself.

That was the tragedy.

Before long, we grew apart.

He was all work and no play.

Eddie even cut off his mullet.

No more business in the front and party in the back.

Now, it was just all business.

One moment, Eddie was luging down the track.

The next, he was buying his own stethoscope.

I don't want that to happen to you, Scott.

Now, clean this up!

I can't believe my dad used to be an athlete.

The same dad who gave me a glaucoma test for my birthday.

Early detection saves eyeballs.

You don't even have eyeballs, Beta.

Scott, I'm sorry your mom doesn't want you luging,

but it's probably for the best, you know.

It seems pretty dangerous.

You don't need Ingebretsen Academy.

Oh, I'm going to get into Ingebretsen.

My mom doesn't understand.

Luging's in my blood.

I feel the call to luge!

Parkour!

- [grunts] - [crashes]

Nailed it!

Do you really think he'll be okay?

Heck, no. That boy's gonna be roadkill.

We might be rid of this numbskull once and for all.

[chuckles]

Just kidding.

Unless...

Maybe he'll listen to someone who's been through it.

[Scott] Okay. How big was the werewolf?

And what did it look like?

And did you get any photographic evidence?

There is no werewolf.

Scott, I brought you here because there is someone I want you to talk to.

Hey, yo!

Dad? What are you doing here?

Karaoke is tomorrow.

Hailey said it was important, so I raced through

a corneal transplant and hauled butt over here.

Not something you normally want to speed through,

but should be fine.

Scott, your dad has seen the dangers of luging first hand.

And I wanted you to hear what he has to say about the sport.

Luge rocks!

See? Wait, what!

Best dang time of my life.

You want to be a luger like your old man?

Man, I'd be honored if you filled my shoes.

In fact, you can fill my shoes.

Literally.

You just carry these around?

They're beautiful.

Well, this intervention is officially off the rails.

[metal clanking]

I can't wait to wear these in the Ingebretsen Invitational Expo.

You got tapped for Ingebretsen? Incredible!

Did they send the owl?

- Yeah! It was so... - [both] ...creepy!

My owl ate a snake!

Mine ate a lizard!

Ah! Good times.

Well, this is fantastic news.

I'd love to help you train.

- [tires screech] - [car door opens]

Eduardo? What are you doing here?

Karaoke is tomorrow.

Dad's gonna turn me into a luger!

[♪ dramatic music playing]

[laughs] Oh, no.

Nuh-uh. Not happening.

Sunny. Be reasonable.

We always agreed that the kids could pick their own paths.

Like Becker pursuing a pyrotechnics degree.

- [fireworks exploding] - [Becker laughing]

[Becker] Sweet!

And Scott wants to try luging.

Ugh, fine! But I won't be a part of it.

Luging is just a gateway to a thriving medical career.

Not the tightest logic.

And I can't believe you'd want that for our boy.

Oh!

Gee, I didn't mean to make waves.

I just wanted to help you become the biggest luger of all time.

Thanks, Dad.

That means a lot coming from a luger like you.

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

[♪ upbeat instrumental rock music playing]

♪ Now is the time ♪

♪ To show the world you've got what it takes ♪

[Scott yells]

- [cat yowls] - ♪ That you can get supine ♪

♪ On a tiny sled without any brakes ♪

♪ You better hold tightly ♪

♪ Trust in your psyche ♪

♪ To give you the grip when it gets icy ♪

♪ You're a luger, whoa ♪

♪ Such a luger! ♪

♪ Whoa-oh-oh! ♪

♪ You can slide the frozen hills ♪

♪ At the highest speed ♪

♪ Whoa-oh-oh! ♪

♪ You're a luger ♪

♪ Whoa-oh-oh! ♪

Bow down!

Luging royalty has arrived.

Eduardo Denoga, an honor.

Scott, today you'll make an instant name for yourself.

I've invited the best of the best

in the luging world to watch!

Guess we'll have to take his word for it.

Don't worry, you'll be great.

- Just stay-- - Stay tight on the straightaways

and go easy on the final chicane.

The back end of the course is a real doozy.

- I know. - You got this, son.

Good luck, rookie.

I'm gonna win that scholarship

even though I'm rich and don't need it.

But with the money I save on tuition,

I'll buy tons of video games.

Which I already have. [chuckles]

All I need now...

is a friend.

Sunny! You came.

I couldn't stay away. I love my son too much.

I admit it, Eddie.

You're a good role model.

- Of course. I'm a doctor. - Don't remind me.

[announcer on speaker] Next on the track, Scott Denoga!

Le prochain sur la piste, Scott Denoga!

[♪ heroic instrumental music playing]

Whoa!

[yelling and grunting]

[laughs maliciously]

[Scott screaming]

Scott, are you hurt?

I came prepared.

What the heck is this sport?

The ice is so slippery and it's crazy cold out here.

Did you all know that?

Why do people do this?

You couldn't pay me to try this again.

Oh, no. We are so heartbroken.

I guess if you no longer want to luge,

you should leave our campus now!

What a waste of a Saturday.

Not fun! Not fun at all!

So you don't want to be a luger, or by extension, a doctor?

Definitely not!

You're not disappointed, are you?

What? You could never disappoint us, anak.

We'll love you no matter what you do.

But also... yes!

If they want to make luging fun,

they should replace the ice with water

and make it a warm-weather activity.

And scrap the sled.

I think you're describing a water slide.

Yeah! I'd way rather go to the Waterslide Academy.

Just practicing my water sliding all day.

Heck, I'd even pay to do something like that.

[Hailey] And now, you're describing a water park.

Do you want to just go to a water park?

[Scott] Heck yeah, let's do that!