Original subtitles

[Hailey] This week, I tackled one of the most exciting, action-packed

and rewarding list items to date.

Oh, I don't mean painting a log,

although that was fun, too.

[wristband beeps]

- Done. - Hmm. Mine still needs more zhuzh.

- Drop your paintbrushes. - Ah, there we go.

Put away your canvases!

You mean logs?

- Why are you still-- - We never finished list item number 303,

paint a log. You like?

While I appreciate you completing a list item,

I have never seen a more pointless object.

Wait. Yes, I have.

Beta, this log is not pointless.

Check out its motivational quote.

[Hailey reading]

[scoffs] Name a good deed you've done lately

that wasn't a list item.

I do... deeds. Good.

Good deeds, right?

Whoa, you broke Hailey.

- The log would never lie. - Forget that.

Another list item's probability is spiking like crazy.

Which one? And do we need any specialized gear for it?

I just invested in an industrial-sized, self-inflating water weenie.

It made so much more sense to buy than rent.

After, like, ten uses, the thing pretty much pays for itself.

I blame myself for ever leaving you unattended.

Our next list item is number 26, save a whale.

- Why would that-- - [man] Swag News.

Rod Toolman for Swag News

with a breaking story from the Oceanside Pier.

That's right. I'm no longer with Channel 9.

I found a new work fam, Gloria.

So check it.

A baby whale has been separated from its pod

and is now stuck in Oceanside Bay.

Hard to tell if the whale left on its own terms,

or if its relationship with the pod was terminated after years of loyal service.

Oh, my gosh! Let's head to Uncle Chunk's boat and save that whale.

Hurry, every second counts. [gasps]

But there was no mayo in the fridge.

Can you imagine?

Oh, no, it's our new neighbors.

They never stop talking.

The universe likes to test me.

Uh-huh.

So he improvised with olive oil,

and everybody loved it.

Good, the story has a happy ending.

Actually, that was the prelude.

The real story is when my sister showed up.

Hailey, look who's here.

Our new neighbors, David and Leo,

who always seem to be free to chat during business hours.

Oh, this must be your best friend Scott we've heard so much about.

I'm David, this is my husband, Leo.

We moved in next door with our dog, Winston,

who wandered off this morning like a silly Billy.

He says wandered off. I say probably stolen.

Look how calm he is. I can't.

[Leo] Winston probably just chased a turtle onto a rock and fell asleep.

You know what I mean.

Please tell us you've seen him.

I'm losing sleep over this.

I thought he went missing this morning.

And I haven't been able to nap a wink.

Sorry, we haven't seen him.

If you could just help us look,

I think it would give David peace of mind.

It would be the good deed of the century.

[Beta whispering] Leave now.

I really wish I could.

You know, that's the sort of selfless thing I totally do all the time.

I even painted it on a log. But I have to run an errand.

- Maybe later? - No problem. Thanks anyway.

Oh, and tell your dad we said--

Kai!

[Scott over speakers] This way, whale!

Follow us to your family!

The only language you speak is buffoon.

Hailey, your odds of saving the whale

are plummeting faster than my respect for Scott.

[gasps] That means you had some respect for me to begin with.

- Aw! - The tide is going out too fast.

If those new neighbors hadn't slowed us down,

we'd be done already.

Scott, release the crabs.

Heads up, little whaley.

Delicious crab dinner coming your way.

[Hailey] Oh, no, that's the wrong direction.

[sighs] Probably should have checked if whales like crab first.

- It's probably okay, right? - Yeah.

I mean, okay, we didn't save the whale,

but I'm sure we didn't make things worse.

Things are much worse.

The baby whale is now beached in a tide pool

after it inexplicably swam ashore.

[grunts]

To stay updated on all things WhaleWatch,

smash that fave button and subscribe.

Swag out.

Okay, this is not good.

Yeah, Rod Toolman is in a bad place.

You know what? Minor setback.

All we have to do is unbeach it.

Can't be that hard, right?

How do you unbeach a whale?

I've got it.

I'll use my strength to grab the whale by its tail,

whip it around at super speed

and throw it back into the water.

I'm yoked!

Or we commission the biggest crane the fire station has.

Then we engineer a custom hammock with a weight-bearing capacity

of at least 7,000 pounds.

My welding skills can get us there.

It's fast-tracking the permits I'm worried about.

- Or... - Here it comes.

[Scott] Dig a hole next to the whale, slide my water weenie into the sand,

inflate it and fwomp!

Whaley rolls right into the ocean.

That's probably stupid.

Scott, that's an excellent idea.

Really? Whoo-hoo!

I knew this would come in handy,

and it's supposed to be a cinch to open.

Just push this end here.

[Beta] No!

[Hailey] Yup, it works.

Okay, we're behind schedule from having to deflate and re-fold the water weenie.

But if we rush, we can--

Oh, thank goodness you're here.

See, hon?

Not everyone is trying to run away from us.

Say you're getting a call. Pretend to be your own evil twin.

Winston's still missing, so we're gonna go look for him on our bikes.

But our bikes have flat tires.

I get it, universe.

I haven't had any luck so far today.

Why start now?

[Leo] But we peeked in your garage and noticed you have a bike pump.

Would you mind pumping our tires?

It's an emergency!

And I don't just throw that word around.

Yes, you do, babe. Hailey, can you help?

Of course. I always say a good deed is never lost.

- Mm-hmm. - Yes, so true.

Forget the good deeds.

Point taken. Just say you're busy.

We'll be fine.

It doesn't take long to pump up bike tires.

Usually.

Finally, we made it.

And with plenty of time to save that whale.

There's not much time to save that whale.

Thanks to a group of brave volunteers on the scene,

the whale is as good as rescued.

And in our comments section, concerned Swag News viewer BlissFart89

has let me know that I have an updog on my shirt.

What's "updog"?

Oh, dang it.

I'm Rod Toolman. Swag out.

Maybe we can still help.

Our favorite neighbor.

Oops. Good thing these dog toys are unbreakable.

[grunts] I can't reach.

Kids, can you help? I'm all buckled in.

- Okay, yeah, we can quickly help. - Thank you.

We've biked all over creation looking for Winston.

- It's been wonderful cardio. - [dog barking in the distance]

I miss him so much.

It's like I can hear him barking everywhere we go.

Wait. I hear barking, too.

[dog barking in the distance]

There, on that rock.

- Winston! - See, honey, just like I said.

He must have chased a turtle onto that rock, taken a nap,

and not noticed the tide coming in.

I married a genius.

- [both grunting] - We're stuck.

Kids, please help.

[Beta] Do your list item.

[whimpering]

The tide's coming in fast.

Scott, it's time.

- But Hailey, the whale-- - Is fine.

My neighbors need a good deed.

- [whimpers] - Perfect.

Come here, Winston.

He's too scared to do it alone.

Then I have to go get him.

Scott, keep the weenie still.

[laughs] We're the ones laughing now, huh, water weenie.

[Hailey grunting]

You have to inchworm, Hailey.

Inchworm.

[whimpers]

[grunts]

- [gasps] - I can't look!

[barking and whimpering]

[Hailey grunts]

All right, Winston, hold on tight.

[Winston barks]

Almost there.

[Hailey shrieks]

Oh, Winston, are you okay?

We missed you and were so worried and looked for you all day.

[distant cheering]

Well, would you look at that?

[rescuers cheering]

I guess I lost my chance to save a whale today.

You should be proud.

Like you always say, a good deed is never lost.

Not a list item, but still.

[wristband beeping]

Huh? Why did my wristband turn green?

I didn't save a whale.

Did you say "save a whale"? Very clever.

You absolutely saved a whale today.

Isn't that right, baby?

Hailey saved a whale. Yes, she did.

They know that's a dog, right?

What do you guys mean I saved a whale?

Oh, we're the Whales.

David and Leo Whale.

And of course, our doggo son, Winston Whale.

- Thank you so much for saving him. - [barks]

You got lucky with this one.

You know, the name Whale

actually comes from Leo's side of the family.

- You see-- - They changed it at Ellis Island.

When my ancestors first immigrated,

their last name was Dolphin.

It's funny. When I first met Leo,

I couldn't believe his last name was Whale.

But then he introduced me to his parents...

Well, we all learned a valuable lesson today.

Sure did.

A water weenie is the best investment ever.

Come on, crabs. Not my water weenie.

No!

Come back!

♪ On this day In a different year ♪

♪ The world got to say Hey, look who's here ♪

♪ We're tootin' your horn So glad you were born ♪

♪ Everybody's ready to cheer ♪

♪ It's gonna be The best, best birthday ♪

♪ Everything's going Your way ♪

♪ Fun princess It's as good as it gets ♪

♪ It's as good as it gets ♪

♪ This birthday Is gonna be the... ♪