Original subtitles

[Beta] Chaos Bots have been sent from the future

to stop the one person who can save the world!

Me?

[singers] ♪ Hey, hey Hailey's on it ♪

[Hailey] ♪ Teach a cat to play the piano ♪

♪ Roller-skate all the way to Orlando ♪

♪ Use my ear wax to make a candle ♪

[singers] ♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Hailey's on it ♪

[Hailey] ♪ Win first place ♪

♪ For world's cutest pet rock ♪

♪ Do a corn maze Hope I don't get lost ♪

♪ Eat an onion ♪

- Kiss my friend Scott? - Huh? Aah!

- [baseball bat hits ball] - [crowd cheers]

[singers] ♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Hailey's on it ♪

[♪ organ music plays]

[Finn] Hello, fans!

Finn Skulby here,

welcoming you to Oceanside's own Barnacles Ballpark.

The crowd here today is simply electric!

[one person claps slowly]

Yep, it's a great day for baseball.

Anywhere but here.

Steeeriiike!

[frustrated groan] How am I supposed to complete

my list item if the Barnacles never hit the ball!

Steeeeriiiiike two!

He enjoys that too much. Hailey, why did you put

"Catch a Foul Ball at a Barnacles Game"

on your list, anyway?

Who knows? I enjoy pain?

Hailey, this is your chance!

[Hailey grunting]

[slow-motion] I goooot iiiit!

Out! You know what that means!

[♪ funky music plays]

♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh! ♪

He's actually quite good.

How am I gonna catch one of these?

These teams stink so bad, even their foul balls

don't make it past the catcher. Ugh!

[Hailey] I know. Not my best look,

but I'm running out of time.

Today's the last Barnacles game of the season,

and I've only come close to catching a foul ball

a couple times.

Trust me, it's harder than it looks.

[♪ exciting music plays]

[conk]

[thud]

[Finn] Home run! Not a foul ball!

[bell dings]

[chomp]

[Hailey screams]

Come on, Hales. Baseball's supposed to be fun.

Nothing is fun about baseball!

There are eight billion games a season,

each game is excruciatingly long,

and the managers wear uniforms for no reason whatsoever!

But what about dingers and bloopers and cans of corn?

What about throwing around the horn and going yard?

Are we still talking about baseball?

And the pitching! That's my dream,

the only job where being lanky

and rubbery is an advantage!

Representation matters.

Too bad I had to have that shoulder surgery

after my excessive fist-pumping incident.

- [joint cracks] - Ohhh!

- [alarm beeping] - Speaking of which...

time to do my physical therapy stretches!

Throw the dough! Stretch the dough! Spread the dough!

Does your physical therapist work at a pizza place?

Yeah, the new line cook at UF Dough

is taking night classes.

Now spread the sauce, toss the cheese!

Peanuts!

And throw it in the oven!

[vendor] Aaahhh, my nuts!

[fan 1] Hey, I'll take some peanuts!

- [fan 2] Hey, us, too! - I gotcha!

Hah!

[successive thuds]

Whoa! Scott, that shoulder surgery must have made

the tendons in your arm stronger.

It's like something out of a movie!

[Sparky] It sure is!

I'm Sparky La Russo, the Barnacles manager.

"And I wear a uniform for no good reason."

My speed gun clocked those nut tosses of yours

at 98 miles per hour!

This is totally unheard of, but...

you wanna pitch for the Barnacles today, son?

Me? Pitch? For the Barnacles? Today?

Yes, I just said all that! Look, kid,

you're the most exciting thing to happen all season!

Listen to those fans!

[fly buzzing]

[sharp clap]

See, this season's been a real stinker,

so I got nothin' to lose.

Plus, I forgot to put down a bet today,

so I got nothin' to gain by losin'.

Do you usually bet against your own team?

Ha ha ha! We're having fun.

So, what do you say, kid?

Scott, you're gonna be a pitcher!

And maybe I can help you catch a foul ball, too.

Mr. Sparky, I'll do it on one condition,

my friend Hailey gets to be my catcher.

Sure. We're playing pretty loosey-goosey

with the rules here, so why not?

[Scott and Hailey cheer]

[♪ languid organ music plays]

All right, superstar, let's warm up.

With everyone watching?

[phone games beep]

Yeah, that's kinda how baseball works,

but don't worry about them.

The sooner you're on the mound, the sooner I catch a foul ball.

And the sooner I can get home

and start complaining about something else.

Whoo!

[sharp gasp]

Whoops! Sorry about that!

Forget about that. Just focus on my glove.

You got this.

[♪ exciting music plays]

Ah-choo!

[laughs, gasps]

[thud]

Or... maybe you don't got this.

I keep getting distracted by-- Hey, is that a beach ball?

[♪ dramatic music plays]

Scott, you've got to focus.

We are running out of time.

Ugh. I just wish there was a way for you

to blur out all the distractions.

Wait a minute!

Here. Put on my backup glasses.

Everything's really blurry.

Exactly. Everything is blurry so you can block it all out

and focus on pitching. Can you see my glove?

Huh. That's actually the only thing I can see.

This is so crazy, it just might work.

- [frustrated cry] - [bonk]

- [scampering feet] - Look out!

- Chaos! - [yelps]

Look out for what? Is it a hot dog?

- Worse! - A vegan hot dog?

The only weenie here is you, Scott.

Don't worry. I'll take care of it.

Beta, you can't "take care" of a hot dog.

You don't eat food. I swear, sometimes Beta

thinks he's smarter than he is. Agh!

- [♪ organ music plays] - [Finn] What's this?

In a surprising move born of clear desperation,

manager Sparky La Russo has given the nod

to 14-year-old peanut-throwing phenom Scott Denoga!

[♪ exciting music plays]

Aah! [sharp gasp]

- [music continues] - [gasps, faint exclamation]

[Scott cries out]

[thud]

[Finn] Wow! Look at the specs on that kid!

Move over, Elton John!

[door closes]

I'm also being told Scott's best friend,

Hailey Banks, is joining him as catcher.

Just when you think you've seen everything,

something else happens!

[Hailey] Scott! Just throw to my glove.

[exhales]

Steeeriiike!

Whoo-hoo! Way to go, Scott!

Hey, celebrating strikes is my thing!

Sorry. That was just too good!

[Finn] Friends, this Scott Denoga has the strongest arm I've seen

since the great "Shirtless Seamus" O'Donovan!

Of course "Shirtless Seamus" was banned from the league

for marrying his pet llama, but that was a different time.

[buzzing]

[thud]

Man, look what you made me do!

[explosion]

[fan 1] Hey, why can't we hear Finn?

[fan 2] Yeah, this game is too boring without commentary!

Uh-oh. Better keep this game going.

Well, slap my salmon and call me a potato,

we've got a game, don't we?

[laughter]

Yeah! All right, all right!

[fan] That's more like it!

Ohh, this is easy!

I can scramble together any words I want,

and these yokels will eat it up!

[laughter]

Hi, folks. My name's Duane... Smoothman,

and I'm covering for Finn while he's, uh, on break.

[toilet flushes]

[laughter]

[Beta] Would ya look at that! He just made that batter

look like a hot cheesecake in a broken fridge!

- [laughter and applause] - Yeah, that's right.

Clap for me!

- Hmm? Hmm. - Huh?

Whoo!

[chuckles] The power.

[♪ exciting music playing]

[fan] Whoo!

Striiike three! You're out!

Nice one! That's what I'm talkin' about!

Time!

What's wrong?

Nothing. I just always wanted to know

what a mound visit was like.

I guess this is it.

Yeah, pretty cool.

Now let's get you that foul ball!

[♪ expectant music plays]

[dramatic whoosh]

[crack]

Was that a foul? That sounded like a foul.

- I got it! - No, wait, I've got it!

I better get outta the way!

- [grunts] - [glass shatters]

I got it!

[spectators groan]

[umpire] Foul!

I missed my chance!

Ugh! Things couldn't get worse.

- Actually... - [lenses clatter]

I'm sorry, Hailey.

It's okay. Here, take these.

But... how will you see?

I won't. But it's the only chance we've got.

They can't hit a foul ball if you can't throw a strike.

Don't give up, Hailey.

Like Yogi Berra once said,

"It ain't over till it's over."

And he ate more "pic-a-nic" baskets

than just about anyone.

- [clonk] - [both laugh]

[spectators cheer]

[♪ expectant music rises]

[spits loudly]

[sharp whistle]

- [crack] - [ball whooshing]

Hailey, that's yours! You see it?

I see it-- all three of it!

Duane Smoothman says put the pineapple

where Grandma keeps the cookies!

Duane Smoothman? Whatever.

Just focus. Focus.

[spectators gasp]

He's out!

[spectators cheering]

Hailey, you did it!

- We did it! - [both cheering]

They did it! They actually did it!

Do you believe in Barnacles?

Yes! Yes, I do!

- Yeah! - Ooh, ooh, ooh!

Why are you two celebrating? It's only the sixth inning!

Oh.

- Well, she caught a foul ball, so I think we're done here. - Bye!

[Hailey] That was the last Barnacles game

we played together,

but it would stay with us forever.

Scott reinjured his shoulder

by celebrating with that fist pump.

Finn Skulby eventually woke up

even more chipper than before.

Sparky La Russo was banned

from the Barnacle Hall of Fame

for betting on his own team.

The umpire finished runner-up

on the 17th season of So You Think You Can Shimmy.

And Duane Smoothman, well...

his whereabouts are still unknown.