Original subtitles

(SINGING) It's after breakfast Not quite lunch

Time to get that Dingles crunch

Dingles da da da da da Dingles

Yum.

(PEOPLE CLAPPING)

(GAGS) Humans, such buffoons.

(SINGING) No one can eat Just a single Dingle

Fun.

HAILEY: Except we weren't here for fun.

We were here for justice.

How did two best friends and a bear phone from the future

end up in a tangled web of Dingles and lies?

It all started with a sack of squash wafers.

Ooh! You went to that fancy grocery store, Eregance.

Did you get my oat balls or nut slabs?

Or any snacks for people?

I got squash wafers,

and this whole bag was only 22 bucks.

(WAFER CLINKING)

(CHOKES)

HAILEY: "Auntie Blands Squash Wafers."

Were the pilgrims known for chips?

Who cares?

It's organic, which means it's healthy, just like my chocolates.

(CHOCOLATE CRUNCHING)

Mmm. So healthy.

Scott, look at this.

(HAILEY READING)

What do you think that means?

"Dingles secret cover up." (GASPS)

"Goes all the way to the top." (GASPS)

"Chip Dingle has no comment." (GASPS)

I ran out of air.

(COUGHING)

(GROANS) It's morning?

Want some breakfast Dingles?

They're bacon and orange juice flavored.

You're eating the tears of beagles.

The instrument or the band? Or the sandwich?

Scott, for the 50th time, a bugle is the instrument,

The Beatles were the band,

and I don't even know what sandwich you're talking about.

A beagle is a dog.

Oh! Got it.

Although I still have no idea what we're talking about.

What is with all this early morning buffoonery?

(GASPS)

Whoa! Hailey, why do you look like a feral possum?

Beta, I found the facts nobody wants us to find.

According to the Chip Truther website,

the Dingles corporation tests their recipes on dogs!

I don't care.

Dingles would never.

And my mom says you can't believe everything you read online.

People post lies about U.F. Dough all the time,

saying the pizza tastes like cardboard and Darryl's incompetent.

Yeah, those are definitely lies.

Hailey, it sounds like you went down quite the rabbit hole.

Without me?

Do the rabbits all have their own bedrooms

or sleep in one big rabbit pile or like...

There's another meaning of rabbit hole, isn't there?

Guys, it's all true!

I have the proof.

- (DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE) - (MAN PANTING)

I just heard a dog bark.

There it is again. (PANTING)

Dogs were barking inside the Dingles factory.

That girl, or man, they heard it.

Hailey, I'm sorry. There's no way Dingles would do this.

Did you know every summer they donate skateboards to Babies Without Boards?

Mmm-hmm. How about boys without brains?

I didn't take you two for such sheeple.

Looks like I'll just have to open your eyes myself.

Wait. What are you doing?

Adding "Free the Beagles From the Dingles Factory" to my list.

No! You can't add a new list item.

You'll cause a time glitch. (GROANING)

Mmm. I guess you can add a new list item.

Now we just have to figure out how to get into the Dingles factory.

I know. Do you guys remember when I found that golden chip in the Dingles tube?

Yeah. That, like, just happened.

Well, this chip entitles me to a VIP tour of the Dingles factory.

That's perfect.

Once we're in there, you'll see. You'll all see the truth!

And that's how we ended up here,

ready to expose the Dingles' dirty secret.

(SINGING) Dingles da da da da da Dingles

Yeah!

Thank you. You're too kind!

Uh, did you not like the show, miss?

(CHUCKLES) What Dingles flavor would turn that frown upside down?

The flavor of truth.

Mmm... Truth.

Listen, Chip, I know you're hiding something,

and I will expose you.

(ROBOTS EXCLAIMING)

After them!

Whoa! Goodness me! Stop!

Oh! You're gonna find out about the...

secret Dingles paradise!

(ENCHANTING MUSIC PLAYING)

Sheeple, don't be taken in by the...

Only potato tree in the world!

(CHUCKLES) It's the secret behind the Dingles crunch.

Uh, we cook them first.

See, Hails? This place is awesome!

No, this is clearly a distraction and...

- What the heck? - (GASPS)

That's our sweet onion dust.

It comes from real onion clouds.

Is this real life?

If not, don't wake me up.

And did you know talented artists

hand-paint our barbecue flavor directly onto our chips?

And finally, chip lovers,

time to take a ride down the Nacho River!

Wow!

Scott, you're getting caught up in sweet onion fantasies.

That's what they want you to... (GASPS)

I just saw a fish jump. No. Don't get caught up.

Uh-huh! I knew it.

A doggy door.

Probably for their "bring your dog to work" days.

That would be a food safety hazard.

Nuh-uh. My mom brings our dog to U.F. Dough all the time.

Bucky helps clean the kitchen.

Yeah, the less you tell me about your mom's restaurant, the better.

No, no. I got this.

This little door is not for dogs,

it's for fun.

(STRUGGLING)

I was wrong.

Not fun.

(LAUGHING) Buffoon.

See? No dogs.

- (DOGS BARKING) - (GASPS) Ha! Yes dogs.

Beta, can you get that door open? We need to save those beagles.

(ELECTRONIC WHIRRING, BEEPING)

I can, but I'll be in full view of those workers.

HAILEY: I have an idea.

Man, boss is really riding our hides today.

TGIF, am I right?

It's Tuesday.

HAILEY: Yeah. Tuesdays...

Good in... factory.

I hear that.

Hey, you guys here to take over?

Does my wife nag me about doing more fancy date nights?

(LAUGHING) I've been there.

Oh, uh, just a reminder.

This machine has a new overflow alarm

that will ring if the Chardonburnit Mortix capacitor

overfluctuates due to torque pressure.

So don't lift the bracket bar unless it's flashing

or you'll overbalance the steel kern.

So pack 'em and rack 'em, right?

(CHUCKLES) You know it.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

(BETA STRAINING)

Ugh! We need to slow this thing down. Maybe if I...

(ALARMS BLARING)

Aah! You just overfluctuated the Chardongurden Mortox capacitor.

Why would you do that?

Wait. You were following all that?

Beta, everything okay?

(BETA GROANS)

Peachy.

Stop right there! Security.

Run!

Beta, we need that door opened yesterday.

(BEEPING)

One, two, three, four.

Come on. Really?

(SECURITY ROBOTS GROAN)

ROBOT: Right in the Dingles.

Finally, the truth.

The jig is up.

We know you have beagles in here.

So what do you have to say for yourself?

(DOG BARKS, PANTS)

What?

Hello, Dingles Boss, Dingles Boss.

Me, hello.

I told you there was a reasonable explanation for all this. Ha.

Kind of wondering what that is right now.

Hello. Treat.

Hello. Hello.

Oh! I'm too late.

You know our secret.

Actually, we're more confused than ever.

So you don't test on dogs?

(DOGS BARKING AND HOWLING)

What? No. That would be awful.

Flavor testing is my job.

Even when I was little,

my father knew it was my dream to be chief flavor tester.

(LAUGHING)

When he retired, he gave me the job.

He left the boring business stuff to our beloved beagles.

Truth is, they've always had a nose for business. (LAUGHING)

Nose for...

(LAUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY)

People might think it's kind of crazy to have dogs run our company,

but our profits are soaring.

- Spreadsheet. - Profits.

Treat.

So, I guess you really can't believe everything you read online.

We don't bother addressing the rumors. You know, we're happy.

I mean, I wish these dogs would take a break every now and then,

but other than that, it's perfect.

Treat. Treat.

Isn't that right, my little workaholics?

Oh. Who's a good boy?

Hmm. In that case,

maybe I can still free the beagles from the Dingles factory.

You dogs have worked hard.

How about a little playtime, huh?

DOGS: Hmm?

I got this.

Don't you dare...

(BETA SQUEAKS)

(DOGS WHIMPER)

I wuv you!

Who wants to play? Who wants to play?

BETA: Scott!

(SIGHS) They can finally use their vacation days.

BETA: Scott!

- As a token of my thanks... - BETA: Scott!

...let me offer you a taste of our unreleased flavor,

chosen by the dogs themselves.

A new flavor? (EXCITEDLY) Yes!

BETA: No, no, no. You stay back.

What flavor is this?

It's called "ride."

Yep, that's it.

I do not like it.

Well, next time I read something online, I'll be sure to check my sources.

But you've got to wonder what kind of sick person

would make up rumors about Dingles?

(SINISTER MUSIC PLAYING)

HAILEY: (SINGING) The future's in my hands

World's what you make it

Get up and chase it

Leaving nothing to chance

I'm taking action, making it happen

No matter what tomorrow might bring

I got the guts to do anything

The future's in my hands

Promise, I'm on it

I'm on it

Oh, oh, oh

CHORUS: Hey, hey, hey! HAILEY: Hailey's on it!