Original subtitles

[Beta] Chaos Bots have been sent from the future

to stop the one person who can save the world!

Me?

[singers] ♪ Hey, hey, Hailey's on it ♪

[Hailey] ♪ Teach a cat to play the piano ♪

♪ Roller-skate all the way to Orlando ♪

♪ Use my ear wax to make a candle ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Hailey's on it ♪

♪ Win first place ♪

♪ For world's cutest pet rock ♪

♪ Do a corn maze Hope I don't get lost ♪

♪ Eat an onion ♪

Kiss my friend Scott?

Huh? Aah!

- [bear growls] - [Scott] Nice bear!

[singers] ♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Hailey's on it ♪

[mellow music playing]

How am I only halfway done?

Ugh, I deserve a treat.

Thank you, oatmeal.

You're always there when I need you.

[Beta] Oof. I don't know what looks worse,

your tired face or that gruel.

I've been doing a group project all by myself,

because Tina had to visit her sick grandma.

So right now, I'm taking a much-needed break.

- To re-grout the bathtub? - What do you want, Beta?

There's an urgent task you must complete right now:

crochet a pillow!

Right now? I don't even remember

- writing that list item-- - Urgent!

Okay, okay!

Wait, that wasn't even a list item?!

I never said it was.

That is an assumption you made.

Hold my calls.

You are the phone!

You hold my calls!

[groans]

[Patricia] Hailey, I'm a hog!

I need you to fix my phone!

Yes, sir, my daughter is fixing it as we speak.

I assure you, I am not a hog.

[grunts, squeals]

You always ask me the same phone questions, Mom.

That's why I printed out detailed instructions.

I don't have time to read those! I'm on a call!

Here. It's easier if you fix it.

- [Hailey groans] - [haptics clicking]

[Patricia] Hmm, "Parasites:

when one organism latches on to a host

and depletes it of its energy and resources."

[scoffs] Wouldn't wanna be on the wrong end of that situation!

[Hailey scoffs]

Thanks for your patience, sir.

Now let me share with you our latest--

Oh! Now I'm a puma!

[roars]

- [sighs] - [babies giggling]

What?! Ugh!

So much for me-time.

Hailey, I need your undivided attention!

Of course you do.

You know how Kristine is a contestant

on this season of Hat House?

Well, I've been following her hat design journey, and...

Next week on Hat House, our semi-finalists

will visit their hometowns, where, with the help

of one ordinary hometown friend,

they will produce an entire hat fashion show.

[squeals] I'm so excited for hometowns.

I get to work with my bestie!

Oh, no. She doesn't mean--

- [doorbell rings] - [Hailey gasps]

- [squeals] Hailey! - Hi, Kristine.

Bestie, are you ready to work nonstop on the best-- though technically only--

hat show this town has ever seen?

Of course I'll help.

[Kristine] If I want a shot at the finals,

our fashion show has to be perfect.

Where are we on the rainbow purses?

Rainbow was sold out. We got backup options.

Leopard. How are diplomatic relations with the masseuse?

Is he gonna move his station for us?

Working on it. He's ironically uptight.

- [muscles binding, bone cracks] - [man screams]

I needed it done yesterday.

- How am I polling? - Your numbers look good.

When America texts their votes at the end of each episode,

you score high, especially on the coasts.

See that spike? That's Maine.

It's the judges we should worry about.

Aurora has been on my keister all season.

Okay, before you leave, count the chairs.

Then make sure the models are clear on the order.

Then recount the chairs. Then organize the swatches.

Then-- Can you count the chairs?

[Hailey grunts]

Your wardrobe could use a good steaming.

A true artist values attention to detail.

Ugh! She gets so in my head!

I need you to stay and steam everything.

Shouldn't take more than eight, nine hours tops.

Oh, and this is what you're wearing in the show.

- What?! I didn't agree to model! - You have to model!

Thalía got pulled away to Milan fashion week.

Here, this is your accompanying outfit.

Really, I don't think--

[gasps]

That's what I'm talking about.

[P.A.] I think this hem is uneven.

[Kristine] So do something about it!

I gotta do a recount of those chairs!

Yo, Banks!

If you're staying late, grab us some grub!

We want Jetzel's Pretzels.

I don't take orders from you or from anybody.

[scoffs] This whole thing is stupid, anyway.

Whoa. Who knew she was so...

cool?

Excuse me, you have to hang

that back on the wardrobe rack.

Hard pass.

[rock music playing]

Wow, this jacket makes me feel incredible.

As of today, Hailey Banks is nobody's doormat.

[Scott gasps]

Ah! Take everything I have!

Twelve cents and a sandwich punch card!

Oh, Hailey.

I didn't recognize you with this new... vibe.

Can I get some advice?

I know Kristine and I broke up,

but ever since she came back,

I've had some strange feelings start to--

I'mma stop you right there, boss.

Whatever it is, move on.

You don't know how?

Allow me to demonstrate.

Whoa.

Whoa!

[rock music continues]

♪ Trouble ♪

♪ Trouble's my middle name ♪

♪ Trouble ♪

- ♪ T-T-Trouble you can never tame ♪ - Oh-ho-ho, absolutely not.

[phone beeps]

[phone rings]

[Hailey over phone] Hey, Tina.

I've been hard at work on our project.

How's your grandma, hmm? Still sick?

Oh, yeah. Super sick.

[Hailey] Really?

'Cause she looks fine to me.

- [Tina shrieks] - Listen up!

I'm not taking your baloney anymore

unless it's served to me on a sandwich.

Now, you're gonna finish our project and get us an A.

No, A-plus. Understood?

That's what I thought.

We can match!

[rock music continues]

Quick! I've run the numbers,

and you need to crochet a matching blanket

for my pillow now!

Doesn't sound like a list item.

But it does sound super comfy.

You want a blanket?

Here's your blanket.

Now cheese off.

[rock riff plays]

Whoa, where did all this attitude come from?

Because it is working.

It's the jacket, man!

As regular Hailey, I doubt myself

and overthink everything.

But as Leather Jacket Hailey, I feel so cool.

I never want to take it off.

- [alarm blares] - ♪ Catchin' those good vibes ♪

♪ Sunshine and blue skies ♪

♪ It's feelin', feelin' Like the world is spinning my way ♪

♪ And every step that I take is magic ♪

- Hailey, I'm a donkey! - [donkey brays]

♪ I got it so smooth ♪

Huh?

- ♪ All eyes on these moves... ♪ - [babies fuss]

♪ It's feelin', feelin' Like the world is spinning my way ♪

Hailey, can-- Hailey?

[man on phone, in Japanese]

No, sir, I am not a donkey.

[donkey brays]

Success in hat design requires magnificence.

But from today's semi-finalist,

I'm expecting, magnificent failure.

Don't miss this hometown event, on Hat House.

[dance music playing]

Hailey! I tried to ignore my feelings, but I can't.

There's something I gotta tell Kristine.

I don't have time to figure out your life, dude.

My advice? Spit or get off the bridge.

[rock riff plays]

What?

Thank you for coming to my show.

The collection you're about to see

is a journey through hat history.

Every piece is inspired by vintage fashion of the 2010s.

Enjoy.

[hyper dance music plays]

Like I've always said,

a scarf with a hat just reeks of desperation.

[gasps] Quick, we have to 86 the scarves!

That sounds like a you-problem.

Ugh. I'm sorry, Hailey.

I realize I've been asking a lot of you lately,

and I forgot to say "thank you."

So, bestie, thank you so much.

Way to stick it to the man, man!

You speak for all of us who are ticked off

and can't channel our energy in a helpful way.

Oh, this is gonna be sick!

- What is? - Well, yesterday you said,

"This whole thing is stupid," and we couldn't agree more.

So, inspired by your great words,

we rigged a way to ruin the whole thing!

Paul put an ink bomb in that model's hat!

- [Chainsaw laughs] - [timer beeping]

And that ink is permanent!

Oh, yeah. It is so cool

ruining other people's stuff.

Kristine doesn't deserve this, and it's all my fault!

[hard pulsing music plays]

[gasps]

[timer continues beeping]

[exclaims]

[grunting]

Bestie! Are you okay?

What happened?

Some people wanted you to fail.

And that's sad for them.

Making other people feel bad

doesn't make you more interesting.

I thought it did for a minute, but I was wrong.

When we're tempted to be mean,

maybe we should ask ourselves, "What am I really feeling?

Jealousy? Insecurity?"

When you tell somebody, "Your hat is stupid",

maybe you're just hurt no one's said anything nice

about your hat in a while.

Thanks, Hailey.

But maybe this show is stupid.

There's no way I can recover from this disaster.

Wait! There's something

I've been working up the courage to tell you.

Now isn't the best time, Scott.

Yes, it is.

Because, Kristine,

I really, really want to...

model!

- What? - Who's-a-what-now?

Modeling is my calling.

I've been practicing all week.

Hat me!

[Kristine gasps, grunts]

[hyper dance music continues]

[crowd exclaims] Ooh!

[crowd exclaims] Whoo!

The way her piece comes alive on his head!

It all makes sense now.

[cheering, applause]

[Kristine exclaims] Whoo hoo-hoo!

So... what is this?

Thanks to you guys, I made it to the finals of Hat House!

[squeals]

A very bright modeling career is in your future.

- I'd love to help. - No, thanks.

I've already conquered modeling's greatest stage.

And now I'm on to new endeavors.

Oh, hacky sack!

[mellow music playing]

What's wrong, Hailey?

It's silly, but I'm bummed the jacket got destroyed.

It really helped me speak up for myself.

[chuckles] You don't need a jacket for that.

You've had that strength inside of you all along.

[electric cart approaching]

I finished it, just like you said.

It was only fair we split the work.

Thank you, Tina.

- [gasps] - What's with all the glitter?

[Hailey] This is full of mistakes! Ugh!

Tina, get back here!

Glitter does not make up for spelling mistakes!

Tina? Tina!