All language subtitles for Haileys.On.It.S01E20.U.F.Whoa.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track4_[eng]

[narrator] Chaos Bots
have been sent from the future

to stop the one person who can
save the world.

Me?

[singers] ♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Hailey's on it ♪

[Hailey] ♪ Teach a cat
To play the piano ♪

♪ Roller-skate
All the way to Orlando ♪

♪ Use my earwax
To make a candle ♪

[singers] ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Hailey's on it ♪

[Hailey]
♪ Win first place ♪

♪ For world's cutest pet rock ♪

♪ Do a corn maze
Hope I don't get lost ♪

♪ Eat an onion ♪

- Kiss my friend Scott?
- Huh?

- [Scott screams]
- [garbage can clatters]

[singers] ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Hailey's on it ♪

[Scott grunting]

[sniffing]

[grunts]

[roars]

Hey, watch your dingle bits.
I'm working on something here.

[Scott] What's that?

[Hailey] Since my notebook is
going to be in the Smithsonian,

I should put a little logo
or something on the back cover.

It's my initials with a little birdhouse.

No. Nope, no, uh-uh.
No, no, no.

You cannot keep bringing
your actual list out in public.

That is the most important
document in the world,

and we are surrounded by all
sorts of dangerous stainables.

Smoothie. Ranch.
Spicy-chipotle boss-some sauce.

Not to mention
the Clumsinator 9000 here.

Ah!

Hailey, need I remind you
what happened

the time you tried to erase
a certain list item from your notebook?

Wait, you tried to erase a list item?

- Which one?
- Nothing!

I mean, Beta's exaggerating.

It's not about kissing anyone,
that I can tell you.

Okay.

Beta, don't worry. I'm always
super careful with my notebook.

- [Kristine] Hey, guys!
- Ah!

I just got the best news.

You know the show
Hat House, right?

- Never heard of it.
- They made a house out of hats?

It's like one of the top three
hat-themed

social influencer reality design
shows on basic cable.

And they're taking submissions,

so I'm going to be throwing
my hat in the ring.

[laughs]
That's a figure of speech.

I would never actually throw a hat.

That's awesome, Kristine.

Just imagine my full-on girlfriend

- doing that thing you just said.
- [squeals]

Scott, tomorrow I'll need your
help with the audition video,

since you do such an amazing job
with your skateboarding videos.

Sick move.

Sick graphic.

Happy to help.

The key is whenever you do
something sick, you call it sick.

OMG, is that the list of cool stuff
you and Scott are always doing?

- Can I see?
- Wait!

Hmm. Number 143, "Kiss..."

No! That was nothing. A joke.
What did you see?

Because if you saw something,
it was a joke.

[squeals]

Hailey, you want to kiss someone?

How am I your best friend

and didn't even know
you've been crushing on someone?

Who is this mystery person?
We could double date.

All I saw is that their name
starts with an "S"?

Uh, his name is...

Sanjay... Singh.

Sanjay Singh.

He's just this really cool guy
I met at botany camp.

Oh, I want to kiss him so much.

Ooh, Sanjay Singh.
Can we look him up?

Don't! I mean, you can't because
he's not on social media.

His family moves around a lot
because they're, like,

all in the military.

Even the kids. And cats.

Plus, he likes to keep a low profile
because he is such a normal, real guy.

He sure sounds like it.

Well, I've got to go fill out
the written portion

of my Hat House application.

I'm thinking of using this emoji.

Okay, bye!

Man, that girl loves hats
like I love rice baths.

Hailey, I still can't believe
you didn't tell me about this Sanjay guy.

And you drew hearts around his name?

- I got to see.
- Wait, no!

- The List!
- The Sludgy!

- [rumbling]
- [electricity buzzing]

I can fix it!

[both gasp]

Chaos Bot.

[gasps]

[camera shutters click]

This seems... not good.

You think?

We're here at the Oceanside Pier,

where citizens reported seeing
an unidentified flying object.

This news reporter is not one
to jump to conclusions,

but I think it is safe to assume
this is some kind of alien invasion,

likely due to me being passed
over for an anchor position.

But what do I know?
I'm just a small-town reporter

who lacks charisma.

Anyway, here's a local business
owner who witnessed the event.

I was in the kitchen,

preparing U.F.Dough's famous
"Out of This World" pizza,

now two-for-one with coupon,
when I heard a loud rumbling.

I thought it might be coming
from the arcade,

featuring the hottest games
for the whole family to enjoy,

but when I stepped outside
I saw a U.F.O.

streak across the sky.

It flew into the woods right
past the parking lot,

two hours free
with validation from U.F.Dough.

Fascinating. I've been told
footage of the incident

has caught the attention
of the Paranormies,

a group of alien enthusiasts

who are making their way to Oceanside

in hopes of catching a glimpse
of the alien who, again,

may be upset I was passed over
for the anchor chair.

Back to you, Gloria.

Get over it, Rod.

[device signal whining]

Okay, if these weirdos find
the missing bot, my secret is out.

- What secret?
- Huh?

Oh, just that I...

like cottage cheese on my pizza.

You do? I mean, you do.

Speaking of secrets,
I've got one of my own.

I was once abducted by aliens.

Oh, most of us Paranormies have been.

My close encounter
happened two years ago,

after getting my wisdom teeth pulled.

I was snatched up by an alien spacecraft
and brought aboard their mothership.

It was a swirl of colors and music.

I even got to meet
their radiant leader, Glubarb.

[disco music playing]

And we disco danced the night away.

I woke up face down
in the parking lot, as if I'd never left.

But I know it was real.

And we Paranormies
are gonna prove it

by catching this new alien
before he's snatched up

- by N.O.P.E.
- N.O.P.E.?

- Yep.
- What?

The National Organization
of Paranormal Extraterrestrials.

Once those mean
old N.O.P.E. agents find him,

odds are they'll take him to Area 37,

the most top secret and dangerous--

Oh, Kristine's wondering if it's
a good time to help with her shoot.

So I'll just tell her I'm busy.

So just to be clear,
when you find the alien

that zipped into the woods,
you're going to--

Tell the whole world, of course.

Oh, those pesky N.O.P.E. agents
would hate that.

Wouldn't they, Mr. Peppers?

Great. Well, got to go.

Hope you find it first.

[door opens and closes]

They cannot find that Chaos Bot first.

But you're outnumbered 20 to one
by those Paranormies.

And they aren't being held back
by one of these.

But we have something they don't.

Yeah. The power of friendship.

- See?
- No, Scott.

I'm talking about the List.

That's what the Chaos Bots want.
We can use it as bait.

[laughs] Oh, no, no, no, no.

Need I remind you that if
something happens to this list,

you will never be able
to complete it,

which means you will never
save the world

and I will cease to exist.

And I like to exist.
It is the one thing I enjoy.

Okay, fine.
We'll think of a new plan.

I don't really hear the world's
greatest supercomputer

contributing any ideas, but whatever.

[laughter]

Wait, where do you want me
to stand?

I feel like you should just pick
me up and put me there.

- Oh!
- Right here ought to do it.

[laughs]

Logan, you are so crazy.

Oh, hi, Scott.

I didn't even notice you there.

This is my friend, Logan.

He's a skateboarder-
slash-videographer-

slash-fashion influencer.

He also models belts.

- Yeah, he does.
- What?

- Nothing.
- Anyway,

when you said
that you were too busy

to help me with my video,
I asked Logan.

[laughs] He's so crazy.

So you two are going to be spending

all week working together?

That's totally perfect!

I'm going to be way busy anyway,
so that works out great.

Plus, he looks super strong,

so he can probably carry
all your equipment in one trip.

Thanks for helping out, Logan!

My pleasure, mate.

Okay, well...

Logan and I need to try on
swimsuits for our beach shoot.

- Bye!
- Bye!

He seems nice.

We've been out here for hours.

Can we just use my List
as bait already?

When the world's most
advanced supercomputer

tells you something's too risky,
it's too risky.

- I've got an idea.
- This ought to be good.

Chaos Bots are always trying to stop you
from completing your list items, right?

So maybe we should just pick an easy
list item to do, and it'll show up.

That's actually not a bad idea.

Even the dumbest squirrel
finds a nut once in a while.

Beta, we're not tracking a squirrel.

We're tracking a Chaos Bot.

All right, let's find something
quick and easy.

Hey, stop that.

"Learn to juggle." Easy.

[exhales]

Okay, maybe not super easy.

Here, I know how to juggle.
You've just got to go...

- tossy, tossy, grabby, grabby...
- No, no.

You have to grab
the topmost thrown object

while it is three-quarters crested.

Enough!
We need something easier.

Yeah. Too bad that
Sanjay guy isn't here right now.

Because it'd be super easy
for you to get that "kiss" item

- out of the way.
- Yes, that would be easy.

[sighs]

Scott, about that.

There's actually something
I should probably tell you.

We're running out of time.
I'm using the List as bait.

Uh...

This better work.

Oh, it'll work. Look.

[gasps]

Oh, right, this one can fly.

Time to bring out the big guns.

Whoa, Beta, that's the coolest
thing I've ever seen you do.

You Beta believe it.

[gasps]

[squeaks]

[Hailey] Beta!

This seems not good.

[Hailey] Okay, it's fine. He'll be fine.

It's fine. It's not like those
N.O.P.E. agents

are going to dismantle him
for information.

Totally. I mean, those guys

probably took him to Area 37
to surprise him.

For his birthday.

Ugh!

[cell phone vibrates]

- Hey, Kristine.
-Hey, Scott.

Just wanted to let you know
me and Logan are almost finished

with the video for Hat House,

so we're going to unwind
with a little hot yoga.

And then he's gonna show me
his boomerang.

- [rumbling]
- [electricity crackles]

I have to call you back.

Professor, you're back.

Whoa, sick backpack.

Does everyone in the future
have those?

Um, no.

Does it come in different colors?

Or have those pockets inside
where you can keep your coins?

Scott, enough about the backpack.

Professor, are you here
to help us get Beta back?

Even better.

I'm here to give you this.

Whoa, two zippers.

This is Omega.

Three hundred times
more powerful than Beta.

We made some personality
upgrades, too,

so it's 85% less surly.

- But what about Beta?
- Oh, don't worry about him.

He's been compromised,

so his memory will
automatically be wiped clean

once his battery runs out.

What? I don't want that.

Yeah, it's a bummer.

But, hey, on the bright side,
new phone.

Let me show you everything it--
Whoa!

That was awesome.

I mean, the portal and stuff was
cool, but man, that backpack.

She came here to give me
a new phone?

Well, I'm not giving up on Beta.

[Omega] I completely agree, Hailey.

True friendship is the most
valuable thing in the world.

And may I just say what an honor
it is to be working with you.

Oh, well, thank you.

Now, according to my calculations,

the N.O.P.E. agents most likely
took Beta

to a facility known as Area 37.

But the security appears
to be impenetrable.

Whoa. Way to be on top
of things, Omega.

And don't worry, I know someone
who might be able to help.

Oh, Mr. Peppers, you little rascal.

I was gonna eat that.

[laughs]
No, I wasn't, I'm just teasing.

Oh, sorry.

You were asking
about how to get into Area 37?

Uh, were we?

I kind of forgot
when this started happening.

Short answer: not gonna happen.

Longer answer: not gonna happen

in a million gajillion years.

Sorry to say, but Area 37's

got the tightest security in the world.

We Paranormies have been working
on a human catapult

to shoot us over that big old fence,

but it's a ways off from being ready.

But there's got to be a way.
We think our friend is in there.

Sorry, sweetheart, but the only
way you're getting into Area 37

is if you're a N.O.P.E. agent or an alien.

Alien, huh?

Lazlo, I just saw something
streak across the sky and crash.

I think it is an alien spaceship.

I'll send you the coordinates.

Oh, wow, that is super amazing.

I just hope this frequency
isn't being monitored

by any N.O.P.E. agents,

because this sounds like
the real deal, y'all.

- [loud thud]
- [both grunt]

[tires squeal]

- I think we're in.
- [cell phone vibrates and rings]

Hmm. It came from inside the craft.

[Scott whimpers]

[both gasp]

Ah! Alien!

- Get it!
- [hisses]

Ew, ew, ew, ew!

All clear.

And, I must say,
a truly inspired plan, Hailey.

Thanks, Omega.

[elevator dings]

- Scientists.
- Fellow scientists.

- Scientists.
- Greetings

- Scientists.
- Scientists.

[both gasp]

[disco music playing]

- Was that...?
- Couldn't be.

Whoa.

This must be what's left of the Bot.

Whoa. What's that thing?

Must be its power source.
I've never seen it before.

[gasps]

What is it?

Whoa, that's the thing you drew earlier.

Why is it on a Chaos Bot's battery?

Does that mean you...?

I... I don't know.

Wait a minute, who are you guys?

We're, um...

- George.
- And Regina.

We're Regina and George.

The scientists... that work here.

But you're just a couple of teens.

I see what's going on here.

You finally fixed
the Youth Ray in Sector 9.

Yes. That was us.

It took a lot of science, but we did it.

- [laughs nervously]
- Congrats, guys.

[both gasp]

Anyway, you guys
should go to Sector 9

to check it out for yourselves.

They threw us a big party,
and I think there's still some cake left.

We can do the intake
on this new specimen.

Cool. Thanks, guys.

Wait. Regina? George?

What is going on here?

Oh. Did I forget to mention we
got the Clone Ray working, too?

That's not a thing.

Run!

[alarm blaring]

[elevator dings]

[engines rev]

Hang in there, Beta.

Hurry!
[gasps]

What are we gonna do?

Perhaps I can help.

- [man screams]
- [vehicles crash]

[Scott] Sick move!

Best phone ever.

[body crashing]

Ha-ha! Success!

Oh, I missed you, Mr. Peppers.
Who's been a good boy?

You have.

[muffled disco music playing]

[gasps] Glubarb?

Hang in there, Beta.
We'll get you some juice.

Hailey, he can't drink juice.
He needs power.

Yeah, that's what I...
Okay, sure.

[beeping]

It's too late.

No. It can't be.

Your memory is gonna be wiped.

I'm... I'm not ready to say goodbye.

Neither am I.
You're my little dude.

And you're... a buffoon.

[Omega] If I may interject.

Hailey, the power to heal your friend

has been with you this whole time.

You mean the power of friendship?

No, I mean the power source
in your pocket.

Oh. Right.

[gasps]

[beeping]

Come on, come on.

[powering down]

[gasps]

[beeping]

- [gasps]
- Ho-ho!

That's the stuff!

You'd Beta believe it.

- Beta!
- Yeah!

[cell phone vibrates and rings]

Hey, Kristine.

How's Logan? Did he let you
play with his boomerang?

- Professor.
- Hailey.

- I don't have much time.
- You literally never do.

I'm just here to tell you that
you can't have two phone helpers.

So I have to choose between them?

[Professor]
Well, it's not much of a choice.

Omega is 300 times better
in every way,

and can give you the power of flight,
and has a way nicer personality.

I'm standing right here, lady.

You see what I'm saying?
Point is,

if you want the future's
greatest technology,

- you'll want to go with--
- I choose Beta.

- What?
- What? Really?

Even though he's a grump,
he's my grump.

And we've got a good thing going.

Omega, thank you for everything.

I'm really sorry to say goodbye.

It's been an honor to serve you.

And it's not goodbye,
it's see you later. In 50 years.

Wait! Before you go,
I've got some questions,

and I want some real answers
this time.

That design on the Chaos Bot's
power supply,

it was the exact thing
I doodled earlier.

What does that mean?

Do I create the Chaos Bots?

Am I... evil?

Again, I cannot stress enough

that I'm not supposed to give
out spoilers from the future.

But no, Hailey, you're not evil.

That logo is the symbol
for Haileytonium,

the most powerful renewable
energy source ever created.

It literally saves the climate
for generations to come.

In the future, the element you
discovered runs literally everything.

Including, unfortunately,
Chaos Bots.

Whoa. So I am kind of important.

But don't get ahead of yourself.

It all starts with you
completing your list.

I'm trying, but sometimes
it gets so overwhelming,

and I don't know if I can do it, and--

Hailey, you're doing great.

And you have a lot of help.

I mean, you would have had a lot
more if you chose Omega...

Hello, I know you can see me here.

Oh, and I totally remembered this time.

Here's tomorrow's
winning jackpot numbers.

And it's a big one.

I'll just hand them-- Whoa!

Every time.

Beta, I'm so sorry for not
listening to you about the List.

I really do appreciate you,
and don't want to do this without you.

Well, I got to admit
it's good to be back.

I love you.

Okay, I might've
actually meant it that time.

You big softie.

Beta? Beta?

What is going on?

Is it the Haileytonium?

No, it's a probability spike.

It means the odds of you
completing a specific list item

- are skyrocketing.
- What?

Which item?

Kiss Scott?

But why? I mean, what changed?

So, good news, Kristine made it
onto that Hat House show.

Oh. Wow.
Yeah, that's great news.

Isn't it?

Am I missing something? Scott?

And also... she broke up with me.

[gasps]

♪ The future's in my hands ♪

♪ World's what you make it
Get up and chase it ♪

♪ Turning that into chance ♪

♪ I'm taking action
Making it happen ♪

♪ No matter what
Tomorrow might bring ♪

♪ I got the guts to do anything ♪

♪ The future's in my hands ♪

♪ Promise I'm on it
I'm on it ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Hey, hey, Hailey's on it ♪