Original subtitles

[narrator] Chaos bots have been sent from the future

to stop the one person who can save the world.

Me?

♪ Hey, hey, Hailey's on it! ♪

♪ Teach a cat to play the piano ♪

♪ Rollerskate all the way to Orlando ♪

♪ Use my earwax to make a candle ♪

♪ Hey, hey, Hailey's on it ♪

♪ Win first place for World's Cutest Pet Rock ♪

♪ Do a corn maze, hope I don't get lost ♪

♪ Eat an onion, kiss my friend, Scott ♪

Huh?

♪ Hey, hey, Hailey's on it ♪

[Hailey] As far back as I can remember,

I've always wanted a pet.

But every time I find the perfect one

my mom, well...

- [mud spatters] - [squeals]

- No. - [Kai exclaims] Whoa!

[low hissing]

- No! - [screeching]

[squeaks]

- Definitely no! - [squeaks]

- [Kai exclaims] - [thuds]

[Hailey] But this time is different.

It has to be, because the fate of the world depends on me.

Hailey Banks, adopting a pet for list item #63.

[Carla] Next-a-roonie!

All right, let's stick to the plan.

Look for the cutest, fluffiest,

most well-behaviest pet we can find

so my mom will fall in love with it

and have to let me keep it.

Well, judging by that puppy back there

this place is filled with...

empty cages.

Wait, where are all the animals?

Great news! Most of them found fur-ever homes!

Get it? Fur-ever?

[chuckling]

The gerbils always laugh at that one.

Anyhoo, meet Frank!

[squawks]

[thuds]

He says he's happy to meet us.

I speak flamingo.

Sure, and I speak unicorn.

- [squawking] - Frank also says

you snack on the dog treats when no one's looking.

OK. So, new plan.

Instead of a puppy, we adopt a flamingo.

Seriously? You want him?

I mean, great!

Just sign here.

Now that you've signed this legally binding agreement

I need to be frank.

This flamingo can be a bit of a burden.

[chuckles] Get it?

Bird-en. [chuckles]

Dang, that joke always kills at the aviary.

- What is that smell? - Auwe!

[garbled squawking]

[farts, squawks]

Medically speaking, Frank's what we call

old and weird.

Make sure he takes one of these pills

every 30 minutes for his stomach issues

or he'll cough up wet featherballs.

[coughs]

Hey, there's one now.

Oh, and don't let him around any shrimp.

He'll shrimply go crazy. [chuckles]

Anyway, we're closed now, so, bye!

[Clara] We did it, Carl!

[Carl] Party time!

So, he isn't young, or cute.

Or quiet, or nice smelling.

- Or fluffy. - But he's mine,

according to a lot of paperwork.

- [Frank flops] - [Hailey giggles]

OK. So,

we can still train Frank to be obedient and quiet,

and then introduce him to my mom

when she's in a really good mood.

I mean, post-Saturday brunch good mood.

[Beta] So, what lovable pup did you adopt?

A poodle? A Dachshund?

A-- Flamingo?

[squawks]

[Beta] Why is he looking at me like that?

[squawks loudly]

Frank, stop! Sit! Nest!

[squawking continues]

[both thud]

[Patricia] Hailey, what is going on up there?

Hailey, I need you to keep it down.

You know this is the week I agreed

to be on that awful reality show

Bet You Can't Sell My Mansion!

Um, is that my shirt?

Yes, I was told to "young it up" and look "swag"

for my celebrity clients, "The Swag Bros."

Wait, do I not look "swag"?

Let me try on one of your other shirts.

No, no, you look swag!

Yeah, like, swiggity swiggity swag.

- [chuckles] - Is that a swag dance?

I might have to use that.

Also, can you please clean your room?

[sniffs] And use lots of air freshener.

OK, thanks. Bye.

- [Beta exclaims] - [Frank squawks]

Well, Frank, I believe in you. But we better get to work

if you're gonna be the best pet ever.

♪ Jump in the bath ♪

♪ Making a splash ♪

♪ Scrubbin' til ya shine like gold ♪

♪ Diamond in the rough Struttin' your stuff ♪

♪ Show 'em you can break the mold ♪

♪ We're gonna rock, rock, rock, rock ♪

♪ Rock 'til we're on a roll ♪

♪ Everybody go, go, go, go ♪

♪ Go on and clean up that act ♪

♪ Pick up the slack Keep movin', shakin' ♪

♪ No, no, no, no ♪

♪ No cuttin' corners Give it all you got ♪

[Beta] Hey, hey, what the heck is--

Well, it is warm.

♪ Talkin' the talk, walkin' the walk ♪

♪ Givin' it with all your soul ♪

♪ We're gonna rock, rock, rock, rock ♪

♪ 'Til we're on a roll ♪

[screeches, yelps]

Your dog is old and weird.

Hey, my flamingo is old and weird.

- Thank you very much. - [shrieks, squawks]

[farts, sniffs]

- [gasps] - [Scott] Darn.

I guess you can't teach an old bird new tricks.

OK, So, new, new, new plan.

We keep Frank hidden in this room, forever!

Or, you know, at least until my wristband turns green.

He'll be a secret bedroom flamingo!

That's a thing, right?

- [Hailey] Uh, where's Frank? - [Scott sniffs]

Do you smell shrimp?

[Kai] So, did you sell the house yet?

You mean the "hang hole."

That's what I'm contractually required to call it.

And no, I've shown the hang hole to 57 people

and only one person was interested.

But they still won't sell.

They just keep adding weird new things

to up the "swag factor."

Don't worry, Patty Cakes. I know you'll sell it soon.

- Want a taco? - [thuds, squawks loudly]

What the Florida lawn decor!

- So... I see you've met Frank. - [screeching]

[squawks]

Hailey, I've told you a million times,

no pets!

I know, but why?

What has an animal ever done to you?

- [squeaking] - Hey!

[all roaring]

No!

[squawks]

[gasps] Animals only care about themselves.

That's not true.

Aw, he's just a bit peckish.

Can we please keep him, mom?

I'm sorry, but I can't deal with this right now.

Frank's gonna have to go back to the animal shelter.

[engine revs]

[weeping guitar]

I promise I'll come visit you

at the animal rescue every day after school.

And on weekends.

And... And-

- [squawks] - [guitar continues]

- [brakes squeak] - [phone vibrates]

[T.V. Producer] Patricia. Great news!

Swag Bros want to finally accept the offer,

but you need to get to their hang hole, now.

- I'll be right there! - [tires screeching]

[tires swerving]

[swerving continues]

- [bins clatter] - [door closes]

OK. You two wait here

while I finish selling this...

[grunts] hang hole.

[thuds, squeaks]

[JT clears throat] Um, yo. Yo! Check it on the flip.

Um, long story longer,

we're not sure we wanna sell just yet.

- It's just not a vibe. - Uh huh.

But JT! Swagmeister! You agreed.

Pshh, yeah.

But Donte, he convinced us

we should hold out for even more.

Who's Donte?

He is!

Donte pointed out

that the hang hole is one of a kind.

Plus, me and the Swagmeister just added

a sweet, new lizard room upstairs.

You like lizards?

No way! We're terrified of lizards.

That's why they're living in the room.

- Yeah, yeah! - [exclaims, chuckles]

[exclaims] Look at all that shrimp.

Better lock the doors before--

- [screeches, squawks] - [Hailey gasps]

- [slurps] - Not again!

- Shrimp delivery. - Swag!

Just put it in the kitch.

That shrimp is obvi

for the "Fill Your Pants with Shrimp Challenge,"

where the challenge is, to fill your pants...

with shrimp!

[door creaks]

- [squawks] - Obvi.

[Swagmeister] You don't even know about shrimp pants.

'Cause you're not young and swag like us.

- I guess I... - [loud screeching]

...don't know shrimp pants, huh?

Yeah, we tried lobster pants but--

- They pinch us in the butt! - A lot!

Yo! Let's do the shrimp challenge

right now for the cameras!

- [grunting, groaning] - [screeching, squawking]

[Delivery Person] Give me that!

I don't know shrimp pants

but I do know this dance, huh.

Swiggity swiggity swag!

Ugh, save it for the old folks home.

- [grunting continues] - [squawking continues]

- [both exclaim] - [grunting]

[splash]

[loud screech]

Hey, that shrimp's not for eating, bro,

it's for our pants!

[chewing loudly]

Sorry, Mom. I tried.

You messed up big time!

[Swagmeister] You're old and weird

which is the opposite of swag.

[grunts, squawking loudly]

[both exclaim] Agh!

What's wrong with that thing?

Nothing is wrong with him.

He's just not afraid to tell you the truth--

that you two are completely,

and utterly, un-swag!

[exclaims]

Much better.

And sure, maybe I don't know what swag means,

but just like Frank, I know who I am.

And I know how to sell a hang hole.

I mean, house. Ugh.

So, I'm gonna go help good people

find their dream homes, and not you!

I quit!

- [farts, squawks] - Ew!

Was that farting or squawking?

Both. The Banks family is good at multitasking.

Wait, did you say "family"?

Does that mean we can keep Frank?

- [wristband chimes] - [cooing]

[triumphant music]

[grunting]

[coughing]

Aw, man! My custom sneakies!

Stuff that down your pants!

So un-swag! We're telling our dad!

It wasn't that bad.

It was a disaster!

I'll never be hired to sell a house again.

[phone buzzing]

Hello. Yes, that was me.

Yeah, I definitely have some ideas on how to sell your house--

Wait, can you hold on one second?

- [phone beeps] - Hello?

Yes, I am taking on new clients.

Yeah, I can bring the flamingo.

Can you believe this?

People like me for being me.

And it's all thanks to Frank,

who really stuck his neck out for me.

[exclaims] Woohoo!

- [belches] - Uh oh!

[grunts, squawks]

- [Scott] Not it! - [Kai] Not it!

[Kai exclaims]