All language subtitles for American Pie 1999

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 0 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:11,500 {\move(10,10,190,230,100,400)\fad(0,1000)\fscx25\fscy25\t(0,6000,\fscx125\fscy125)\c&H000000&\3c&H00FFFF&}anoXmous 1 00:00:12,501 --> 00:00:29,202 {\move(400,10,190,270,100,400)\fad(0,1000)\fscx25\fscy25\t(0,6000,\fscx125\fscy125)\c&H000000f&\3c&0000a6&}https://thepiratebay.se/user/anoXmous 1 00:00:27,650 --> 00:00:29,610 JIM: Oh, yeah. 2 00:00:29,900 --> 00:00:32,030 Oh, you're so good. 3 00:00:32,110 --> 00:00:35,360 Oh, yes. I am the best, baby. 4 00:00:35,450 --> 00:00:37,780 WO Oh, yeah! Oh. Oh, that was a tit. 5 00:00:37,870 --> 00:00:40,240 That is a tit! Yes! 6 00:00:40,330 --> 00:00:42,290 Oh, you're so big! 7 00:00:42,370 --> 00:00:44,660 Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right, baby. 8 00:00:44,790 --> 00:00:47,670 Oh, doggie wants to hide his bone. WO Yes! 9 00:00:47,750 --> 00:00:49,670 Oh, yeah! I'm bone smuggling, baby. 10 00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:51,840 Man, would you shut up? 11 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:54,240 Hey, Jimmy. Just wanted to say sweet dreams. 12 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:56,360 Yeah, yeah. Sweet dreams. Good night, Mom. 13 00:00:56,430 --> 00:00:58,300 Kiss good night. 14 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,680 Something wrong with the reception? 15 00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:02,960 Yeah. Yeah. 16 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:04,330 There's this nature show... 17 00:01:04,330 --> 00:01:06,060 Take it off. ...that I'm trying to watch. 18 00:01:06,060 --> 00:01:07,630 And the birds are all scrambled 19 00:01:07,660 --> 00:01:09,750 and I can't even... Do me! Yes! 20 00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:12,320 Baby! Ride me like a pony! 21 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:13,940 The thing must be broken 22 00:01:14,030 --> 00:01:16,040 or I sat on the remote or something. 23 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:17,410 Getting ready for bed, Son? 24 00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:18,830 Yup, I'm all set, Dad. I'm all set. 25 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:19,880 Yeah? No! No, I think 26 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:22,140 he's tried to watch some illegal channels here. 27 00:01:22,140 --> 00:01:23,560 Illegal... Illegal channels? 28 00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:25,220 This is just bad reception, honey. 29 00:01:25,220 --> 00:01:27,220 Oh, spank my hairy ass! What's that? 30 00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:28,330 Oh, baby! 31 00:01:28,420 --> 00:01:30,920 You know what? Here. Just give me this, please... 32 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,800 Oh, my God! And let's get this... 33 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:37,840 Okay, okay. Let's... What the hell's the matter with this thing? 34 00:01:37,930 --> 00:01:39,180 Yes! 35 00:01:49,900 --> 00:01:52,270 OZ: Illegal channels? Shit! 36 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:55,610 If there's any channel that should be illegal, it's that "all-woman's" channel. 37 00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:59,320 Lifetime supply of pantyhose or some shit. Yeah. 38 00:01:59,410 --> 00:02:02,120 Hey, did you see The Little Mermaid on TV the other night? 39 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,910 No. Ariel, man. She's so hot! 40 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,580 She's a mermaid, dude. 41 00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:08,960 Yeah, Oz. But not when she's on land. 42 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:12,960 KEVIN: Come on, Vicky, it's Stifler's party. We got to go. It'll be great. 43 00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:17,300 VICKY: Why? All that happens at Stifler's parties is people get drunk and do it. 44 00:02:17,380 --> 00:02:18,670 KEVIN: Yeah. 45 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:20,680 VICKY: Now, come on, Kevin. Open it. 46 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:24,060 It's a big, thick envelope, Vicky. You got in. 47 00:02:24,140 --> 00:02:26,140 If you think so, just open it. 48 00:02:26,230 --> 00:02:27,270 Fine. 49 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,990 "Dear Miss Latham, we're sorry but after keeping you on the waiting list" 50 00:02:39,070 --> 00:02:43,070 "for the past couple of months, we've decided that you are now rejected." 51 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:45,030 Shut up! 52 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:46,330 You got in. 53 00:02:46,410 --> 00:02:49,040 Yes! I love you! 54 00:02:50,580 --> 00:02:51,710 Okay. 55 00:02:59,020 --> 00:03:01,630 Hey, you think I should wear this shirt to Stifler's party? 56 00:03:01,690 --> 00:03:04,050 You've worn that shirt for, like, three days in a row, man! 57 00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:05,910 Guys. She said it. 58 00:03:05,970 --> 00:03:07,180 Said what? 59 00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:08,520 She said she loves me. 60 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:10,850 Holy shit, dude! The "L" word? Oh, man! 61 00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:13,350 Cornell's not that far from U of M. 62 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:15,190 Yeah, it's only, like, seven hours. 63 00:03:15,270 --> 00:03:17,020 Oh, and you get to drive across Canada. 64 00:03:17,110 --> 00:03:18,860 Beautiful country. 65 00:03:18,940 --> 00:03:21,240 Whatever. It's doable. 66 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:24,570 What we should do today, in band. 67 00:03:24,660 --> 00:03:28,490 Instead of playing our instruments regularly, we should play them backwards. 68 00:03:28,580 --> 00:03:30,790 That'll be so funny! Yeah. 69 00:03:35,460 --> 00:03:36,860 No offense, but you're talking about 70 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:39,920 a post-high school, long-distance relationship. 71 00:03:40,010 --> 00:03:42,010 And you and Kevin haven't even done it yet. 72 00:03:42,090 --> 00:03:43,720 That's not why we're going out. 73 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:47,390 What do you expect him to drive to Cornell for? Milk and cookies? 74 00:03:47,470 --> 00:03:50,060 We're gonna have sex when he's ready and I'm ready. 75 00:03:50,140 --> 00:03:52,020 It's got to be completely perfect. 76 00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:54,730 I want the right time, the right moment, the right place... 77 00:03:54,810 --> 00:03:57,980 Vicky, it's not a space shuttle launch. It's sex. 78 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:04,450 Finch. Here's the man we are looking for. 79 00:04:04,530 --> 00:04:06,490 Gentlemen. What's going on, buddy? 80 00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:07,990 Same old. 81 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:09,830 Finch. You got the Latin homework? 82 00:04:09,910 --> 00:04:11,250 Oh. 83 00:04:15,830 --> 00:04:18,420 It means, "My dog ate it." It's Latin. It's a joke. 84 00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:22,590 It's a Latin joke. Yeah, Latin. Just drink your coffee. 85 00:04:22,670 --> 00:04:24,260 You know, Jim, it's mochaccino. 86 00:04:24,340 --> 00:04:25,340 What? 87 00:04:25,350 --> 00:04:27,880 What I'm drinking, it's mochaccino. It's not coffee. 88 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:29,090 'Nova! 89 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:31,850 What's up, dude? 90 00:04:31,850 --> 00:04:34,440 You coming to the party tonight, Ozzie, you fuckface? 91 00:04:34,450 --> 00:04:36,430 OZ: Depends if my date wants to stop by. 92 00:04:36,430 --> 00:04:37,880 I'm working on something new. 93 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:40,050 I got an idea about something new. 94 00:04:40,070 --> 00:04:42,320 How about you guys actually locate your dicks, 95 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:45,110 remove the shrink-wrap and fucking use them! 96 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:48,820 Dude, it's gonna happen. She's a college chick. 97 00:04:48,910 --> 00:04:51,290 Oh, right. I'll see you guys tonight. 98 00:04:51,370 --> 00:04:54,370 I'll look for you in the no-fucking section. 99 00:04:58,540 --> 00:05:02,630 KEVIN: All right. I'm shooting for a 9:00 ETA, beer in hand by five after. 100 00:05:02,710 --> 00:05:04,220 Breath check. 101 00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:07,720 JIM: Thank you. 102 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:16,950 I wish you wouldn't do that. 103 00:05:16,980 --> 00:05:18,980 So, you got something up your sleeve for tonight? 104 00:05:19,060 --> 00:05:21,400 This is a foolproof plan, my friend. 105 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:23,990 I have a serious question to ask you guys. Okay. 106 00:05:24,070 --> 00:05:27,280 You know Nadia the Czechoslovakian chick? She might be there tonight. 107 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,990 Now, do you think she would prefer 108 00:05:32,410 --> 00:05:34,500 laid-back Jim, or 109 00:05:38,170 --> 00:05:39,500 cool, hip Jim? 110 00:05:39,580 --> 00:05:41,920 I don't think it really matters with that shirt you're wearing. 111 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:45,130 What? Correct me if I'm wrong but you're the one with the girlfriend 112 00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:46,970 and you're still stranded on third base. 113 00:05:47,050 --> 00:05:49,840 Hey, at least I know what third base feels like, okay? 114 00:05:49,930 --> 00:05:51,350 You're still just a batboy. 115 00:05:51,430 --> 00:05:52,850 Batboy. Batboy. 116 00:05:52,930 --> 00:05:54,230 What are you talking about? 117 00:05:55,270 --> 00:05:57,310 Guys, 118 00:05:57,390 --> 00:06:00,690 what exactly does third base feel like? 119 00:06:00,770 --> 00:06:02,770 You wanna take this one? 120 00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:06,490 Like warm apple pie. 121 00:06:06,570 --> 00:06:08,200 Yeah? Yeah. 122 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:11,530 Apple pie, huh? Uh-huh. 123 00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:14,290 McDonald's or homemade? 124 00:06:14,370 --> 00:06:17,120 Gentlemen, destiny awaits. 125 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:23,040 It's been one week since you looked at me. 126 00:06:23,130 --> 00:06:25,050 Cocked your head to the side and said, I'm angry. 127 00:06:25,130 --> 00:06:28,260 That's number five and six for the Stif-meister! 128 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,510 Oh, yeah. 129 00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:32,430 Oops! 130 00:06:32,510 --> 00:06:35,100 Holy! Hey! 131 00:06:35,180 --> 00:06:39,350 Nadia! Buenos dias. Glad you could make it. 132 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,520 I'll be back for you later. 133 00:06:47,780 --> 00:06:50,070 Now the party's startin'! How you doing? 134 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,570 Welcome to Stifler's Palace of Love, fellas. 135 00:06:52,660 --> 00:06:55,700 The keg's back there! Enjoy! Yeah. 136 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:59,040 Vicky, Jessica! Great to see you. Glad you could make it. 137 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:01,620 Haha, bitches! 138 00:07:01,710 --> 00:07:03,420 Sherman! Hey! 139 00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:05,960 What the fuck are you doing here? 140 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,380 Fellas! What's going on? 141 00:07:12,470 --> 00:07:15,810 Sherman. Not much. Just scoping the babes. 142 00:07:15,890 --> 00:07:19,770 Indeed! Some fine ladies here, boys. 143 00:07:19,850 --> 00:07:23,100 Confidence is high. Repeat. Confidence is high. 144 00:07:23,190 --> 00:07:25,610 Sherman is moving to DEFCON 2. 145 00:07:25,690 --> 00:07:28,280 Full strategic arsenal ready for deployment. 146 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,360 Hey! 147 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,110 You have something going tonight, Sherman? 148 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:34,070 You see that Central chick, Bernette? 149 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:35,240 No. No. 150 00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:38,410 She's around. Seems she's taken a liking to me. 151 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:43,460 Fellas, it's time she experienced the Sherminator. 152 00:07:43,540 --> 00:07:45,790 Yeah, okay, Sherman. Whatever. 153 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:49,840 I'm a sophisticated sex robot sent back through time 154 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:53,720 to change the future for one lucky lady. 155 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:55,300 Go get them, tiger. 156 00:07:55,390 --> 00:07:56,470 I'll be back! 157 00:07:59,220 --> 00:08:01,180 Hopeless. Completely. 158 00:08:01,270 --> 00:08:03,390 Hi. Hey, Vic. 159 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:06,610 Oh, shit. Guys, guys. 160 00:08:06,690 --> 00:08:09,900 There's Nadia and she just looked at me. 161 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,150 She just looked at me. 162 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,990 Well, why don't you go talk to her? 163 00:08:14,070 --> 00:08:16,200 Yeah. 164 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:19,490 Yeah, you're right, Kev. I should just go talk to her. 165 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,870 Yeah, I could do that. Sure. 166 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:25,080 Sure. 167 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:30,250 Kev? Kev? 168 00:08:39,430 --> 00:08:40,810 Yeah. Yeah. 169 00:08:43,730 --> 00:08:44,230 At last. 170 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:54,030 My love. 171 00:08:54,110 --> 00:08:57,360 Has come along. 172 00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:05,290 My lonely days are over. 173 00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:08,250 That's great! 174 00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:12,130 And life is like a song. 175 00:09:16,090 --> 00:09:18,550 Oh, yeah, yeah. 176 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:20,890 At last. 177 00:09:22,310 --> 00:09:24,100 See you later. 178 00:09:24,180 --> 00:09:26,350 The stars above. 179 00:09:32,150 --> 00:09:34,650 We're here for the party. 180 00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:37,490 What party? There's no party. 181 00:09:42,490 --> 00:09:46,790 Weird. Try the house down the street. 182 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,590 OZ: So, what's your major? 183 00:09:53,670 --> 00:09:55,710 Post-modern feminist thought. 184 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:59,760 Oh, cool. Great night, isn't it? 185 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:00,970 Sure. 186 00:10:02,510 --> 00:10:07,520 Yeah, it's just something about the springtime that's just cool, you know? 187 00:10:08,020 --> 00:10:11,230 Like the smell of fresh rain or something. 188 00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:12,400 Mmm. 189 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,860 Suck me, beautiful. 190 00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:17,610 What did you just say? 191 00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:18,900 Suck me, beautiful. 192 00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:26,540 My friends call me "'Nova," as in Casanova. 193 00:10:26,620 --> 00:10:28,250 That's pathetic. 194 00:10:30,290 --> 00:10:31,920 Jeez, you don't have to laugh at me. 195 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,460 Well, there's just some things you need to learn, that's all. 196 00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:37,170 Like what? Well, you've got to tone it down. 197 00:10:37,235 --> 00:10:39,275 You don't need to come to a place like Lookout Point 198 00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:42,140 and spout off cheeseball lines to be romantic. 199 00:10:42,220 --> 00:10:43,430 Okay. 200 00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:45,600 You have to pay attention to a girl. 201 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:49,940 Be sensitive to her feelings. Relationships are reciprocal. 202 00:10:50,020 --> 00:10:53,520 Come on, Casanova. I'll take you back to your friends. 203 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:03,490 Vicky, think it's time to take the next step in our relationship? 204 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:04,660 Tonight? 205 00:11:04,740 --> 00:11:07,080 Yeah, it's such a perfect evening. 206 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,830 I mean, it's how you've always pictured it, isn't it? 207 00:11:09,910 --> 00:11:12,120 BOY: Man, my farts fucking stink! 208 00:11:12,210 --> 00:11:15,500 BOY 2: Dude, you gotta take a shit! You smell like a yeti! 209 00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:17,760 Or not. 210 00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:20,590 Just relax. 211 00:11:25,100 --> 00:11:27,060 You actually said that? 212 00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:31,020 Shut up! 213 00:11:31,100 --> 00:11:32,940 You did a hell of a lot better than I did with Nadia. 214 00:11:33,020 --> 00:11:36,190 Oh, thanks, Jim, that's great. That's really reassuring. 215 00:11:36,270 --> 00:11:38,860 Hey, no problem, 'Nova. 216 00:11:38,940 --> 00:11:42,740 Hey, don't call me 'Nova anymore. I'm a... I'm a fraud. 217 00:11:42,820 --> 00:11:45,320 You guys are pathetic. 218 00:11:45,410 --> 00:11:48,330 I'm gonna find myself a little hottie. 219 00:11:48,410 --> 00:11:51,790 "Suck me, beautiful!" 220 00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:58,210 Let me know. 221 00:11:58,300 --> 00:11:59,380 Okay. 222 00:11:59,460 --> 00:12:00,840 Keep going. 223 00:12:01,970 --> 00:12:04,640 I should be able to talk to girls. 224 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:06,890 I'm articulate. 225 00:12:06,970 --> 00:12:09,350 You know, I got a 720 on my SAT verbal. 226 00:12:09,430 --> 00:12:11,520 Bullshit. There's no way. 227 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,310 I kid you not, man. Look. Listen. 228 00:12:15,730 --> 00:12:19,070 Copious. Verisimilitude. 229 00:12:19,980 --> 00:12:22,950 Oh, oh. Now. 230 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:36,170 Suck me, beautiful! 231 00:12:36,250 --> 00:12:37,250 Damn it, Stifler. 232 00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:38,590 Checkout time! 233 00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:40,590 Please, vacate the room. 234 00:12:40,670 --> 00:12:42,760 You are such a jerk. 235 00:12:48,180 --> 00:12:51,080 God, I can't believe how many cool people are at this party. 236 00:12:51,140 --> 00:12:52,220 Yup. 237 00:12:54,890 --> 00:12:56,940 And you got a keg too! 238 00:12:57,020 --> 00:12:58,060 Wow! 239 00:12:58,150 --> 00:12:59,480 Indeed. 240 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,910 Oh, wait. I left my beer downstairs. 241 00:13:07,990 --> 00:13:09,740 No. No. Here, babe! 242 00:13:12,580 --> 00:13:13,950 Thanks. 243 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:17,040 You're really beautiful. Oh. 244 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,000 Really? 245 00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:20,210 Oh, yeah. 246 00:13:35,390 --> 00:13:38,810 You know what? I don't know if I want to be doing this. 247 00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:40,020 Doing what? 248 00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:43,030 You know, like, if we hook up tonight, 249 00:13:43,110 --> 00:13:47,610 tomorrow I'll just be some girl you go telling all your friends about. 250 00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:49,320 No way! 251 00:13:49,410 --> 00:13:53,490 Steve, you could at least look at me when you say that! 252 00:13:53,580 --> 00:13:56,410 Look. Sarah, 253 00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:01,250 I wouldn't go telling stories or anything about you. 254 00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:05,840 I promise. So, just relax, 255 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:09,760 take it slow and let the good times roll. 256 00:14:12,010 --> 00:14:13,350 Okay. 257 00:14:13,430 --> 00:14:14,680 All right. 258 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:23,940 What's wrong? 259 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:28,450 What's wrong? What is it? 260 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:33,240 Xenophobic. 261 00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:34,660 SARAH: Oh! 262 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:41,960 Regurgitation. 263 00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:43,290 I know that one. 264 00:14:44,710 --> 00:14:45,840 Kevin likes it. 265 00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:47,880 He likes getting head. 266 00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:50,470 Gee, what a total shocker. What about you, Vicky? 267 00:14:50,550 --> 00:14:52,930 I mean, have you just never had one with Kevin, 268 00:14:53,010 --> 00:14:55,060 or have you never had one, period? 269 00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:57,640 I've had one. 270 00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,690 I think. Okay. 271 00:14:59,770 --> 00:15:03,560 That's a no. No wonder you're not psyched about sex. 272 00:15:03,650 --> 00:15:05,750 You tell me you never even had one manually? 273 00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:07,110 I've never tried it. 274 00:15:07,190 --> 00:15:09,090 You've never double-clicked your mouse? 275 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:12,570 Ha-ha, nice! 276 00:15:12,660 --> 00:15:15,580 Jesus! Stifler, how much did you drink, man? 277 00:15:15,660 --> 00:15:18,750 Hey, Stifler? How's the pale ale? 278 00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:20,410 Fuck you! 279 00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:25,250 KEVIN: That's Stifler's mom? 280 00:15:25,340 --> 00:15:26,920 Yup. 281 00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:31,930 Shit. I cannot believe a fine woman like this produced a guy like Stifler. 282 00:15:32,010 --> 00:15:34,590 Dude, that chick's a MILF. 283 00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:36,050 What the hell is that? 284 00:15:36,140 --> 00:15:39,060 M- I-L-F. Mom I'd like to fuck. 285 00:15:39,140 --> 00:15:40,640 Yeah, dude! 286 00:15:40,730 --> 00:15:42,480 Oh, ho, yeah! 287 00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:43,940 Yeah! MILF! MILF! Yeah! MILF! MILF! 288 00:15:44,020 --> 00:15:45,810 Hey, guys. Guys. Guys. 289 00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:47,150 Come here. 290 00:15:47,230 --> 00:15:49,280 Sherman, what's going on? 291 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:53,780 Yeah, don't you think you fellas could try a little tact? 292 00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:56,620 I got company, if you know what I mean? 293 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:01,120 She's hot! 294 00:16:04,750 --> 00:16:09,170 If Sherman has sex before I do, I'm gonna be really pissed. 295 00:16:10,050 --> 00:16:13,880 Sherman? The Sherminator? 296 00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:17,890 Come on, man. 297 00:16:20,060 --> 00:16:22,730 MILF! MILF! MILF! MILF! 298 00:16:23,140 --> 00:16:27,110 Dude, hey, dude. What are you doing to her, dude? 299 00:16:27,190 --> 00:16:29,570 Oh, my God, bro. Dude. 300 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,030 Enough of this blow job bullshit. 301 00:16:33,110 --> 00:16:34,490 I gotta get laid already. 302 00:16:34,570 --> 00:16:37,530 That's nice. Really, really nice. 303 00:16:37,620 --> 00:16:39,660 Can I have a ride? Sure. 304 00:16:40,950 --> 00:16:43,040 Vicky, wait. Not for you. 305 00:16:44,620 --> 00:16:47,880 BOY: Yeti! I am the Yeti! 306 00:16:57,220 --> 00:16:59,180 Good morning, gentlemen. Finch. 307 00:16:59,260 --> 00:17:00,600 Where were you last night, huh? 308 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:02,481 What happened to that foolproof plan of yours? 309 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:07,480 Well, I was going for a fashionably-late entrance and I was too late. 310 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,110 So, no ladies left. 311 00:17:09,190 --> 00:17:11,730 SHER It was a very special night, very special. 312 00:17:12,940 --> 00:17:14,320 Guys. Guys. 313 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:18,700 I'll never forget this. 314 00:17:18,780 --> 00:17:21,080 Oh, I'll never forget it, either. 315 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,660 SHER Thank you. 316 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,920 Well, bye. Bye. 317 00:17:29,540 --> 00:17:30,630 Bye. 318 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:37,550 Fellas, say goodbye to Chuck Sherman, the boy. 319 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,350 I am now a man. 320 00:17:40,430 --> 00:17:42,720 I highly recommend you join the club. 321 00:17:42,810 --> 00:17:48,060 We were doing the wild thing all night. I'm exhausted. 322 00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:51,020 I don't get it. I mean, how the hell did you do that? 323 00:17:52,650 --> 00:17:55,820 It was just my time. It was just my time. 324 00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,660 Best of luck to you boys. 325 00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:04,540 I cannot believe this. FINCH: Come on, guys. 326 00:18:04,620 --> 00:18:07,330 You know, we should be happy for Sherman. 327 00:18:10,330 --> 00:18:12,040 No, we shouldn't be. 328 00:18:12,130 --> 00:18:14,590 You know, I put in months of quality time with Vicky. 329 00:18:14,670 --> 00:18:17,590 Sherman meets a chick for one night and scores. 330 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:18,680 This is just wrong. 331 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:20,430 No shit. 332 00:18:20,510 --> 00:18:23,510 How the hell am I supposed to become Mr. Sensitive Man? 333 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:27,430 You know, we're all gonna go to college as virgins. You realize this, right? 334 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:30,100 I mean, they probably have special dorms for people like us. 335 00:18:30,190 --> 00:18:35,110 All right. I got an idea. But it's got to stay between us. 336 00:18:35,190 --> 00:18:37,490 It's really simple. We just got to make an agreement. 337 00:18:37,570 --> 00:18:40,450 No. It's more than an agreement. 338 00:18:40,530 --> 00:18:42,030 What? A bet? A pact. 339 00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:44,620 No money involved. More important than any bet. 340 00:18:44,700 --> 00:18:48,210 Here's the deal. We all get laid before we graduate. 341 00:18:49,750 --> 00:18:52,750 Dude, it's not like I haven't been trying to get laid. 342 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,420 Think about when you work out, Oz. 343 00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:55,920 You gotta have someone there, right? 344 00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:58,970 Someone to spot you. Someone to keep you motivated. 345 00:18:59,050 --> 00:19:01,300 Well, that's exactly what we can do for each other. 346 00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:03,890 I mean, we'll be there to keep each other on track. 347 00:19:03,890 --> 00:19:06,051 Separately, we are flawed and vulnerable, but together, 348 00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:08,480 we are the masters of our sexual destiny. 349 00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:10,810 Their tiger-style kung fu is strong. 350 00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:12,400 But our dragon-style will defeat it. 351 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,060 Guys! The Shaolin masters 352 00:19:14,150 --> 00:19:16,150 from East and West must unite! 353 00:19:16,230 --> 00:19:18,610 Fight, and find out who is number one. Guys! 354 00:19:18,690 --> 00:19:20,990 Come on. You're ruining my moment here. 355 00:19:21,070 --> 00:19:23,780 This is our very manhood at stake. 356 00:19:23,870 --> 00:19:26,410 We must make a stand, here and now. 357 00:19:27,410 --> 00:19:31,080 No longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused! 358 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:35,250 We will fight for every man out there who isn't getting laid and should be. 359 00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:38,880 This is our day. This is our time. 360 00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:43,180 And, by God, we will not stand by and watch history condemn us into celibacy. 361 00:19:43,260 --> 00:19:44,840 Amen. Yes. I like that. 362 00:19:44,930 --> 00:19:48,850 We will make a stand. We will succeed. About time! 363 00:19:48,930 --> 00:19:51,020 We will get laid! 364 00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:52,230 Yeah! 365 00:19:54,150 --> 00:19:57,400 Now, the sex. It's got to be valid, consensual sex. 366 00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:00,610 No prostitutes. That's what you're thinking, Finch. 367 00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:02,990 Busted. 368 00:20:03,070 --> 00:20:05,820 So, basically, prom is our last chance. 369 00:20:05,910 --> 00:20:08,370 Oh, dude. Prom sucks. I know, 370 00:20:08,450 --> 00:20:10,450 but you gotta think about it this way. 371 00:20:10,540 --> 00:20:12,080 I mean, all the parties afterwards? 372 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:13,790 The chicks are going to want to do it. 373 00:20:13,870 --> 00:20:17,380 Yeah, yeah, he's right. It's, like, tradition or something. 374 00:20:17,460 --> 00:20:18,800 The Rose Bowl. 375 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:20,510 So, that gives us... 376 00:20:20,590 --> 00:20:22,670 Exactly three weeks to the day. 377 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,100 We're gonna do this. All right, to the next step! 378 00:20:27,180 --> 00:20:29,060 Next step! Next step! 379 00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:35,850 I have visions I was in them I was looking into the mirror. 380 00:20:35,940 --> 00:20:38,820 To see a little bit clearer. 381 00:20:38,900 --> 00:20:41,650 The rottenness and evil in me. 382 00:20:43,820 --> 00:20:48,370 Fingertips have memories Mine can't forget the curves of your body. 383 00:20:48,490 --> 00:20:51,870 And when I feel a bit naughty 384 00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:54,710 I run it up the flagpole and see. 385 00:20:54,790 --> 00:20:57,880 Who salutes but no one ever does 386 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:02,550 I'm not sick, but I'm not well. 387 00:21:02,630 --> 00:21:05,930 And I'm so hot. 388 00:21:06,010 --> 00:21:08,970 'Cause I'm in hell. 389 00:21:10,140 --> 00:21:15,270 Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding. 390 00:21:15,350 --> 00:21:19,310 The cretins cloning and feeding and I don't even own a TV. 391 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:21,020 Well, did you get the flowers? 392 00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:25,900 Hear the voices in my head, I swear to God. 393 00:21:25,990 --> 00:21:28,780 It sounds like they're snoring. 394 00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:31,370 But if you're bored, then you're boring. 395 00:21:31,950 --> 00:21:34,540 The agony and the irony. 396 00:21:34,620 --> 00:21:37,670 They're killing me, whoa! 397 00:21:37,750 --> 00:21:42,130 I'm not sick, but I'm not well. 398 00:21:42,210 --> 00:21:45,590 And I'm so hot. 399 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,050 'Cause I'm in hell. 400 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:51,760 Don't worry. You'll get her back soon enough. 401 00:21:51,850 --> 00:21:53,930 You think so? Sure, she likes you. 402 00:21:54,020 --> 00:21:55,600 Well, I like her too. 403 00:21:55,690 --> 00:21:57,440 Do you love her? 404 00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:00,310 You know what? You can't really ask me that. 405 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:03,570 Well, if you want to get her in the sack, I mean, just tell her you love her. 406 00:22:03,650 --> 00:22:05,110 That's how I was duped. 407 00:22:05,190 --> 00:22:06,440 Look, Jessica, 408 00:22:06,530 --> 00:22:08,570 I don't want to dupe her. 409 00:22:10,370 --> 00:22:14,450 All right. What you need to do is learn how to press a girl's buttons. 410 00:22:14,540 --> 00:22:16,250 You have to give her what she's never had. 411 00:22:16,330 --> 00:22:17,750 What's that? 412 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:19,580 Let me give you a hint. 413 00:22:20,500 --> 00:22:23,800 Oh, Kev! Yeah. 414 00:22:24,590 --> 00:22:27,260 Comprende? You mean an orgasm. 415 00:22:27,340 --> 00:22:29,590 You got it, stud! Well, you know, 416 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:31,720 I'm... I'm pretty sure that I've given her a... 417 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:33,680 No, you haven't. 418 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:36,520 Well, there was one time... No. 419 00:22:37,890 --> 00:22:38,890 Oh, man. 420 00:22:38,980 --> 00:22:40,280 Look, kid, it's up to you. 421 00:22:40,310 --> 00:22:43,270 The big L or the big O. 422 00:22:43,770 --> 00:22:45,070 Dickhead! 423 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:47,570 You gotta see this. 424 00:22:47,650 --> 00:22:49,450 Do you believe in magic. 425 00:22:49,530 --> 00:22:50,860 In a young girl's heart. 426 00:22:50,950 --> 00:22:54,450 How the music can free her whenever it starts. 427 00:22:54,580 --> 00:22:58,330 And it's magic if the music is groovy. 428 00:22:58,410 --> 00:22:59,960 It makes you feel happy. 429 00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:01,830 What did you cocks do to him? 430 00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:04,670 I'll tell you about the magic It'll free your soul. 431 00:23:04,750 --> 00:23:09,300 But it's like trying to tell a stranger 'bout rock 'n' roll. 432 00:23:09,380 --> 00:23:11,430 Great. See you next time. 433 00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:17,930 Hey, guys. Came to watch me in action? 434 00:23:18,020 --> 00:23:19,060 Yeah. 435 00:23:19,140 --> 00:23:20,560 I think you sounded pretty good. 436 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:21,770 Yeah, man. 437 00:23:21,850 --> 00:23:23,940 I think you need your balls reattached. 438 00:23:24,020 --> 00:23:25,440 Hey, keep it down, dude. 439 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:26,980 What the fuck are you doing here? 440 00:23:27,070 --> 00:23:29,690 This place is an untapped resource. 441 00:23:29,780 --> 00:23:31,110 I mean, check it out. 442 00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,410 These vocal jazz girls are hot. 443 00:23:33,490 --> 00:23:36,330 Why the hell is he joining jazz choir so late? 444 00:23:36,410 --> 00:23:39,870 Maybe he's preparing for another senior year at East? 445 00:23:40,330 --> 00:23:42,710 You guys, we don't even know him. 446 00:23:46,380 --> 00:23:47,880 You dipshit! 447 00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:51,720 You're expecting to score with some goody-goody choir girl priss? 448 00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:56,350 These chicks don't know me. I can work the sensitive angle here, fellas! 449 00:23:56,470 --> 00:23:58,970 You know, it's just like that college chick told me. 450 00:23:58,970 --> 00:24:01,940 All that you gotta do is just ask them questions 451 00:24:02,020 --> 00:24:04,310 and listen to what they have to say and shit. 452 00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,650 I don't know, man. That sounds like a lot of work! 453 00:24:12,030 --> 00:24:13,570 Just a second! 454 00:24:18,540 --> 00:24:20,870 Come in. Come in. 455 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:22,710 Oh, Jim, you're here. 456 00:24:22,790 --> 00:24:26,630 I was just walking by your room and... 457 00:24:26,710 --> 00:24:28,800 And, you know, I was thinking, 458 00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:33,220 "Boy, it's been a long time since we've had a little father-son chat." 459 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:38,720 Oh! I almost forgot. I... I bought some magazines. 460 00:24:39,770 --> 00:24:42,770 Do you want to just flip to the center section? 461 00:24:44,270 --> 00:24:46,980 Well, this is the... This is the female form. 462 00:24:47,060 --> 00:24:50,070 And they have focused on the breasts 463 00:24:50,150 --> 00:24:54,650 which are used primarily to feed young infants 464 00:24:54,740 --> 00:24:58,070 and also in foreplay. 465 00:24:58,160 --> 00:24:59,280 Right. 466 00:24:59,370 --> 00:25:02,830 This is... This is Hustler. 467 00:25:02,910 --> 00:25:06,580 And this is a much more exotic magazine. 468 00:25:06,670 --> 00:25:11,460 Now, they have decided to focus more on the pubic region... 469 00:25:11,550 --> 00:25:15,340 Right. Uh-huh. ...the whole groin area. 470 00:25:15,510 --> 00:25:17,510 Look at the expression on her face. 471 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,300 You see that? See what she's doing? 472 00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:22,930 She's kind of looking right into your eyes saying, 473 00:25:23,020 --> 00:25:26,310 "Hey, big boy. Hey, how you doing?" 474 00:25:26,850 --> 00:25:28,440 You see? Right. 475 00:25:30,940 --> 00:25:34,440 Shaved is a magazine I'm not too familiar with, 476 00:25:34,530 --> 00:25:37,320 but, again, if you flip to the center 477 00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,330 section... 478 00:25:41,410 --> 00:25:45,200 Well, you see the detail that, that they go into in this picture here. 479 00:25:45,290 --> 00:25:46,370 Yeah. 480 00:25:46,460 --> 00:25:49,420 It almost looks like a tropical plant or some 481 00:25:49,500 --> 00:25:51,340 underwater thing. Yeah. Yes. 482 00:25:51,460 --> 00:25:53,340 Do you know what a clitoris is? Oh, my God. 483 00:25:53,460 --> 00:25:55,510 Well, don't say, "Oh..." Yes, I know what a clitoris is. 484 00:25:55,590 --> 00:25:56,951 Oh, you do. Oh, I see. Yes, you do. 485 00:25:56,970 --> 00:25:59,090 I forgot, you've been there and back. You know everything. 486 00:25:59,140 --> 00:26:00,420 I've learned about it in Sex Ed. 487 00:26:00,430 --> 00:26:01,890 I really don't need you to talk about clitoris. 488 00:26:01,970 --> 00:26:03,100 I'm trying to make this painless... 489 00:26:03,180 --> 00:26:05,350 You know what? I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry. 490 00:26:05,430 --> 00:26:06,430 No, no, no. 491 00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:09,770 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 492 00:26:09,860 --> 00:26:11,230 I shouldn't have got hot there. 493 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:13,320 Well, you know what I'm going to do, Jim. 494 00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:15,740 I'm going to just leave these books here 495 00:26:15,820 --> 00:26:19,450 for you to peruse at your... At your leisure. 496 00:26:20,410 --> 00:26:21,530 Wait! 497 00:26:27,620 --> 00:26:29,330 Well, safer than a tube sock. 498 00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:34,460 Okay, that... That was good. Yeah. 499 00:26:37,470 --> 00:26:39,010 See you at dinner. 500 00:26:39,090 --> 00:26:40,800 Yeah. I'll see you at dinner. 501 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,930 So, Finch, this is your plan? 502 00:26:44,010 --> 00:26:47,160 You know, I don't think girls are into the whole mini-golf thing. 503 00:26:47,230 --> 00:26:49,480 Kevin, I'm sure that they're not. 504 00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:53,060 Actually, there is one small matter that I need to ask for your cooperation in. 505 00:26:53,150 --> 00:26:54,690 In the spirit of this whole pact, you know? 506 00:26:54,780 --> 00:26:55,930 Sure, what do you need? 507 00:26:55,990 --> 00:26:57,840 Whatever you hear about me, you agree. 508 00:26:57,900 --> 00:26:59,780 And tell all the boys the same thing. 509 00:26:59,860 --> 00:27:03,620 Look, I gotta go. 16 minutes round-trip. 510 00:27:03,700 --> 00:27:06,160 You know, Finch, it's, it's senior year. 511 00:27:06,250 --> 00:27:09,290 I mean, don't you think it's time you learned how to take a dump at school? 512 00:27:09,370 --> 00:27:12,720 When was the last time you looked at the facilities in this school? 513 00:27:20,010 --> 00:27:21,800 Excuse me. 514 00:27:21,890 --> 00:27:23,470 That's Paul Finch, right? 515 00:27:23,550 --> 00:27:24,640 Yeah. 516 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:27,640 Well, you've seen him in the locker room, right? 517 00:27:27,730 --> 00:27:28,810 Yeah. 518 00:27:28,890 --> 00:27:32,230 So, my friends, they want to know. Is it true? 519 00:27:32,310 --> 00:27:35,190 You know, that he's equipped. 520 00:27:35,270 --> 00:27:38,480 I have no idea. Finch showers with his bathing suit on. 521 00:27:38,570 --> 00:27:40,110 I mean... 522 00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:44,780 As a matter of fact, it is true. The guy's huge! 523 00:27:44,870 --> 00:27:46,330 Does he have a date for the prom yet? 524 00:27:46,410 --> 00:27:48,160 No, definitely not. 525 00:27:48,250 --> 00:27:49,950 All right. Thanks. 526 00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:52,250 Oh, man! 527 00:27:54,170 --> 00:27:59,340 So I was thinking maybe you could give me some advice, brother to brother. 528 00:27:59,420 --> 00:28:02,470 KEVIN: I thought you might know a trick or something to make her... 529 00:28:02,550 --> 00:28:04,760 Orgasm? Yeah. 530 00:28:05,430 --> 00:28:06,850 What's good here? 531 00:28:06,930 --> 00:28:08,680 Try the spicy tuna hand roll. What? 532 00:28:09,100 --> 00:28:12,440 How do you do that? Hey, never mind that. Listen, pay attention. 533 00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:15,480 Is that all that you're interested in, trying to get your girl into bed? 534 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:19,110 No, it'd be good to be able to, you know, return the favor. 535 00:28:19,190 --> 00:28:21,690 Be nice to know she enjoys things as much as I do. 536 00:28:21,780 --> 00:28:25,230 See that? That's good. That's what I wanted to hear. Now, you qualify. 537 00:28:25,410 --> 00:28:26,620 Qualify for what? 538 00:28:26,700 --> 00:28:28,700 My man, you've just inherited the Bible. 539 00:28:32,210 --> 00:28:34,670 It originally started as a sex manual, 540 00:28:34,750 --> 00:28:37,420 this book that some guys brought back from Amsterdam. 541 00:28:37,500 --> 00:28:40,880 And each year it got passed on to one East student who was worthy. 542 00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:45,380 Now, it's full of all sorts of stuff that guys have added over the years. 543 00:28:47,390 --> 00:28:51,600 But you have to keep it a secret and return it at the end of the year. 544 00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:54,560 All right. So now you know. Good luck. 545 00:29:02,900 --> 00:29:05,110 If you believe in magic Magic. 546 00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:10,200 Don't you bother to choose if it's jug band music or rhythm and blues. 547 00:29:10,290 --> 00:29:13,750 Just go and listen It will start with a smile. 548 00:29:13,830 --> 00:29:17,580 That won't wipe off your face no matter how hard you try. 549 00:29:17,670 --> 00:29:23,090 Your feet start tapping and you can't seem to find, how you got there. 550 00:29:23,170 --> 00:29:25,880 Do you believe in magic? 551 00:29:25,970 --> 00:29:30,640 Scooby-dooby doo bah Scoo-Scooby-dooby Dooby-dooby doo bah. 552 00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:32,850 Yeah, magic. 553 00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:35,060 What was that? 554 00:29:36,350 --> 00:29:38,350 Sorry. No, it was good. 555 00:29:41,020 --> 00:29:44,280 Well, it, uh... It came from the heart. 556 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:47,950 Well, keep it coming. All right, people, good work! 557 00:29:48,030 --> 00:29:50,950 Now, don't forget. The state competition's a couple of weeks away 558 00:29:51,030 --> 00:29:53,200 so keep on it, okay? 559 00:30:04,550 --> 00:30:06,090 Not bad, Chris. 560 00:30:07,260 --> 00:30:08,510 Really? 561 00:30:10,220 --> 00:30:13,220 Thanks, Heather, right? Yeah. 562 00:30:14,100 --> 00:30:17,440 So, you've got this sort of Frank Sinatra thing going on. 563 00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:21,690 Right. I feel like I've discovered this whole new side of me. 564 00:30:21,770 --> 00:30:24,400 I mean, music is so expressive. 565 00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:28,030 Okay. I mean, I agree, but, 566 00:30:28,110 --> 00:30:31,160 aren't you supposed to be out, like, trying to decapitate someone 567 00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:32,830 with your lacrosse stick or something? 568 00:30:32,910 --> 00:30:35,450 Oh, sure. Sure. 569 00:30:35,540 --> 00:30:37,740 You know, I know what people think. It's like, 570 00:30:37,750 --> 00:30:40,500 "Oz, he's just this kick-ass lacrosse player." 571 00:30:40,580 --> 00:30:43,380 You know, I also play football, by the way, but that's, like, 572 00:30:43,460 --> 00:30:45,160 that's not all that I am, you know? 573 00:30:45,210 --> 00:30:46,340 Of course, I didn't... 574 00:30:46,420 --> 00:30:51,390 I mean, it really bothers me when people try to pigeonhole me like that. 575 00:30:51,470 --> 00:30:52,600 You? 576 00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:55,770 You think I don't get that? 577 00:30:55,850 --> 00:30:59,810 God, it's like just because I don't get drunk and barf every weekend 578 00:30:59,900 --> 00:31:04,480 that people say, "Oh, look. There's this goody two-shoes choir girl priss." 579 00:31:04,570 --> 00:31:07,780 Yeah. So, like, what else do you do? 580 00:31:08,780 --> 00:31:12,110 Well, the same things you do, 581 00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:14,530 like hang out with friends and stuff. 582 00:31:14,620 --> 00:31:15,741 Why? What do you think I do? 583 00:31:15,790 --> 00:31:16,990 Oh, I... 584 00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:20,120 I just realized that I don't know anything about you. 585 00:31:20,210 --> 00:31:21,540 I was interested. 586 00:31:21,630 --> 00:31:25,170 Oh, well, what do you want to know? 587 00:31:25,250 --> 00:31:28,130 You know, stuff, about you. 588 00:31:30,970 --> 00:31:32,340 All right. 589 00:31:34,930 --> 00:31:37,270 Mom, I'm home! 590 00:32:34,820 --> 00:32:37,120 Oh, yeah. Oh! 591 00:32:39,660 --> 00:32:43,290 Jim! It's not what it looks like. 592 00:32:50,590 --> 00:32:54,800 Well, we'll just tell your mother that, that we ate it all. 593 00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:38,430 ANNOUNCER: Goal by number eight, Chris Ostreicher. 594 00:33:41,770 --> 00:33:44,230 Nice game. Nice game. Good game. 595 00:33:47,690 --> 00:33:50,440 Hey, what are you doing here? 596 00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:54,070 Just enjoying my first exhilarating lacrosse experience. 597 00:33:54,150 --> 00:33:56,740 You kicked butt. Oh, thanks. 598 00:33:57,410 --> 00:34:00,070 Chris... Oh, you can call me Oz, if you want. 599 00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:02,160 Do I have to? You can call me Ostreicher. 600 00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:03,360 What's your middle name? 601 00:34:03,410 --> 00:34:04,580 No, forget it. 602 00:34:04,660 --> 00:34:06,080 Come on. I won't tell anyone. 603 00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:08,080 Well, neither will I. 604 00:34:08,790 --> 00:34:09,920 Okay. 605 00:34:11,630 --> 00:34:15,420 So, I had this thought, and 606 00:34:15,510 --> 00:34:17,760 it may seem like it's way out of left field. 607 00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:19,220 I don't know if you can, 608 00:34:19,300 --> 00:34:22,600 but since I'm not going with anybody, I thought that maybe... 609 00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:25,310 Those guys sucked ass! 610 00:34:25,390 --> 00:34:28,230 Choir chick, what the hell are you doing here? 611 00:34:28,310 --> 00:34:32,570 Well, I was asking Chris to prom. 612 00:34:32,650 --> 00:34:34,360 So, do you want to go? 613 00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:37,820 Oh, yeah! That would be great. 614 00:34:38,780 --> 00:34:41,280 Well, just don't expect Oz to pay for the limo! 615 00:34:41,370 --> 00:34:44,240 Stifler, fuck! I mean... 616 00:34:45,410 --> 00:34:48,660 Why do you got to be so insensitive all the time? 617 00:34:49,580 --> 00:34:50,710 What? 618 00:34:52,460 --> 00:34:55,750 Whatever. Look, don't forget. My cottage after prom. 619 00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:57,510 On Lake Michigan. 620 00:34:59,340 --> 00:35:01,680 Hey, wait up, you pussies. Where you going? 621 00:35:03,470 --> 00:35:05,810 Well, I gotta... I gotta hit the showers now 622 00:35:05,890 --> 00:35:09,640 but I think this is gonna be really, really good. 623 00:35:09,730 --> 00:35:12,270 Yeah. Me too. 624 00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:13,400 All right. 625 00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:15,650 Bye. Bye. Bye. 626 00:35:21,700 --> 00:35:25,580 'Appening Oz! Working with the choir chick? 627 00:35:25,660 --> 00:35:29,460 What do you say, fellas? I just dig those cute little sweaters she wears. 628 00:35:29,540 --> 00:35:32,040 STIFLER: Nuts you do, you little horn dog. 629 00:35:33,340 --> 00:35:36,340 Yeah! Yeah, baby! 630 00:35:36,420 --> 00:35:40,380 Spank me! Spank me! Hit that high C. 631 00:35:46,430 --> 00:35:48,640 Come on! What's going on here? 632 00:35:52,980 --> 00:35:55,650 I was being selfish and majorly insensitive. 633 00:35:55,730 --> 00:35:58,480 I'm a... I'm a total idiot. I mean, a fool, a buffoon. 634 00:35:58,570 --> 00:36:00,950 I think shithead really says it. 635 00:36:01,030 --> 00:36:03,820 You know what? You're right. I'm a shithead, 636 00:36:03,910 --> 00:36:05,780 and I want to make it up to you. 637 00:36:05,870 --> 00:36:07,910 Oh, yeah? How? 638 00:36:10,330 --> 00:36:12,330 Oh, make me over 639 00:36:12,420 --> 00:36:14,880 Vicky. Your parents are downstairs. 640 00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:16,380 Kevin, don't stop! 641 00:36:16,460 --> 00:36:17,750 Just a second. 642 00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:21,170 A walking study. 643 00:36:21,260 --> 00:36:22,840 In demonology. 644 00:36:23,180 --> 00:36:26,430 Hey, so glad you could make it. 645 00:36:26,510 --> 00:36:29,600 Yeah, now you really made it. 646 00:36:32,140 --> 00:36:35,350 Hon, can you tell Vic to come on down for supper? 647 00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:38,020 Holy shit! 648 00:36:38,110 --> 00:36:41,030 You know there's no lock on your door? 649 00:36:47,530 --> 00:36:51,000 Oh! I'm coming! I'm coming! 650 00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:56,580 Oh, Jim! Dad. 651 00:36:56,670 --> 00:37:00,130 Hi, I was just looking at the old family portrait out here. 652 00:37:01,210 --> 00:37:03,300 Well, that was a fun day, wasn't it? 653 00:37:03,380 --> 00:37:06,140 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 654 00:37:06,220 --> 00:37:09,640 Jim, I want to talk about masturbation. 655 00:37:09,720 --> 00:37:14,480 Now, I just want you to know that it's, it's a perfectly normal thing. 656 00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:16,480 And I have to admit, you know, 657 00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:21,110 I did a fair bit of masturbating when I was a little younger. 658 00:37:21,190 --> 00:37:24,990 I, I used to call it "stroking the salami." 659 00:37:25,070 --> 00:37:28,490 Yeah, you know, "pounding the ol' pud." 660 00:37:28,580 --> 00:37:31,450 I never did it with baked goods. 661 00:37:31,540 --> 00:37:32,750 But you know your Uncle Mort? 662 00:37:32,830 --> 00:37:35,430 He "pinched the one-eyed snake" five, six times a day. 663 00:37:35,500 --> 00:37:39,590 See, it's like, practice for the big game. 664 00:37:39,670 --> 00:37:43,050 You see? It's like... It's like, 665 00:37:43,130 --> 00:37:46,260 banging a tennis ball against a brick wall. 666 00:37:46,340 --> 00:37:50,350 Which can be fun. It can be fun, but it's not a game. 667 00:37:50,430 --> 00:37:52,810 Right. No. It's not a game. 668 00:37:52,890 --> 00:37:56,230 What you want is you want a partner to return the ball. 669 00:37:56,310 --> 00:37:58,100 Do you want a partner? 670 00:37:58,190 --> 00:38:00,060 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I want a partner. 671 00:38:00,150 --> 00:38:01,980 You do want a partner? Oh, I want a partner. 672 00:38:02,110 --> 00:38:04,860 You want a partner. Good. Good. Of course. 673 00:38:06,570 --> 00:38:07,700 Good. 674 00:38:08,950 --> 00:38:11,700 LECTURER: So, once Hal becomes king, he has to take on 675 00:38:11,790 --> 00:38:14,700 the responsibilities of leadership and turn his back 676 00:38:14,790 --> 00:38:17,540 on his old, drunken friend, Falstaff. 677 00:38:17,620 --> 00:38:21,920 You see, Hal is going through a rite of passage, much like you all are. 678 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:26,380 So make most of the time you've got left together. You'll miss it later. 679 00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:28,880 So, does your tongue cramp up? 680 00:38:28,970 --> 00:38:31,510 No. You get kind of dizzy, though. 681 00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:32,680 Wow. 682 00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:36,310 That's amazing. She's probably gonna want to do it soon. 683 00:38:39,770 --> 00:38:41,900 All right. Class dismissed. 684 00:38:44,730 --> 00:38:48,240 Still questing after the Holy Grail, huh, guys? 685 00:38:52,910 --> 00:38:54,700 Hey, where's Finch? 686 00:38:54,790 --> 00:38:57,370 Oh, he went home to take a shit. 687 00:38:57,460 --> 00:38:58,860 I don't get it. I just don't. 688 00:38:58,870 --> 00:39:01,630 How does a guy like that get this sudden reputation? 689 00:39:01,710 --> 00:39:03,130 What reputation? 690 00:39:03,210 --> 00:39:04,460 Observe. 691 00:39:05,260 --> 00:39:09,510 Excuse me. Do you know who Paul Finch is? 692 00:39:09,590 --> 00:39:13,350 Yeah! He's the guy with the tattoo, right? 693 00:39:13,430 --> 00:39:16,600 You know, the eagle and the blazing fire and all that stuff. 694 00:39:18,060 --> 00:39:22,230 Well, if you guys see him later, will you tell him Courtney says hi? 695 00:39:22,310 --> 00:39:23,400 Bye. 696 00:39:26,150 --> 00:39:28,570 Okay. Explain. 697 00:39:28,650 --> 00:39:29,780 I can't. 698 00:39:29,860 --> 00:39:31,820 I don't know how he's doing it. 699 00:39:32,870 --> 00:39:35,240 I guess that just leaves Jim trailing. 700 00:39:35,330 --> 00:39:37,790 Jimbo! Better sack up, buddy! 701 00:39:37,870 --> 00:39:40,120 Yeah, I know. I'm working on it, all right? 702 00:39:40,210 --> 00:39:41,500 James? 703 00:39:41,580 --> 00:39:44,790 You are very good in the world history class, yes? 704 00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:47,670 Me? Yes. No... 705 00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:48,960 Yes, I am. 706 00:39:49,050 --> 00:39:51,510 Perhaps you could help me with my studies. 707 00:39:52,550 --> 00:39:53,640 Yeah. Absolutely. 708 00:39:53,720 --> 00:39:55,970 That would be... That would be great sometime. 709 00:39:56,010 --> 00:39:57,560 How about tomorrow? 710 00:39:57,640 --> 00:40:00,640 Well, I have ballet practice. 711 00:40:00,730 --> 00:40:03,980 Perhaps, I could come by your house afterwards? 712 00:40:04,060 --> 00:40:06,060 I could change clothes at your place. 713 00:40:09,070 --> 00:40:11,740 Oh. Yeah. 714 00:40:11,820 --> 00:40:14,360 I suppose that would be okay. Sure. 715 00:40:23,750 --> 00:40:25,040 Nice car! 716 00:40:26,130 --> 00:40:27,290 I'm glad you think so. 717 00:40:27,380 --> 00:40:28,670 You don't like it? 718 00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:32,050 No, I like the car. By the way, though, about prom? 719 00:40:32,130 --> 00:40:35,340 That was a bad idea. I'm sorry I invited you. 720 00:40:35,430 --> 00:40:36,800 What are you talking about? 721 00:40:36,890 --> 00:40:38,350 Please. 722 00:40:38,430 --> 00:40:41,890 I asked you because I thought you might actually be worth going with. 723 00:40:41,980 --> 00:40:45,190 But you are just a jock. No, wait. You're a jerk. 724 00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:48,860 Wait! I don't understand. 725 00:40:48,940 --> 00:40:52,530 I saw you making fun of me with your lacrosse buddies. 726 00:40:52,610 --> 00:40:54,010 Heather, I wasn't making fun of you. 727 00:40:54,030 --> 00:40:56,620 Give me a break. You're so full of it. 728 00:40:59,950 --> 00:41:01,500 Fuck me! 729 00:41:01,580 --> 00:41:05,330 There's gonna be an Eastern European chick naked in your house. 730 00:41:05,420 --> 00:41:07,790 And you're not gonna do anything about that? 731 00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:11,000 What am I gonna do, huh? Broadcast her over the Internet? 732 00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:14,510 Yeah. You can do that? 733 00:41:19,970 --> 00:41:22,100 No. I cannot do that to her. 734 00:41:22,730 --> 00:41:25,640 Jim, get some fucking balls. 735 00:41:26,150 --> 00:41:28,560 If you don't have the guts to photograph a naked chick, 736 00:41:28,650 --> 00:41:30,480 how you gonna sleep with one? 737 00:41:31,110 --> 00:41:33,280 I don't like the kid, but he's got a point. 738 00:41:33,820 --> 00:41:37,070 See, even shit-brick knows you should do it. 739 00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:40,870 All you gotta do is set up some sort of private link or whatever on the net 740 00:41:40,950 --> 00:41:42,330 and tell me the address. 741 00:41:42,750 --> 00:41:45,460 You can send me the address too. 742 00:41:45,540 --> 00:41:47,370 I'll save you a seat. 743 00:41:48,790 --> 00:41:53,880 How sweet it is to be loved by you, by you 744 00:41:53,970 --> 00:41:57,010 I needed the shelter of someone's arms. 745 00:41:57,090 --> 00:41:58,550 Someone's arms. 746 00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:00,430 There you were. 747 00:42:00,510 --> 00:42:02,260 You were, oh 748 00:42:02,350 --> 00:42:07,060 I needed someone to understand my ups and downs. 749 00:42:07,150 --> 00:42:09,270 There you were. 750 00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:12,820 Okay, that was good, but I want to thicken up that solo. 751 00:42:12,900 --> 00:42:16,400 Michigan State is this Saturday, and I want that part to smoke. 752 00:42:16,490 --> 00:42:17,740 Yeah, I know, my timing's off. 753 00:42:17,820 --> 00:42:21,990 No, it's not that. I think it'll work better as a duet with a tenor part. 754 00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:23,490 I'll do it. 755 00:42:25,540 --> 00:42:26,660 Dick. 756 00:42:27,330 --> 00:42:30,040 I'll do it. Great. See you tomorrow. 757 00:42:37,130 --> 00:42:38,880 Why are you doing this? 758 00:42:38,970 --> 00:42:40,050 'Cause I want to. 759 00:42:40,140 --> 00:42:44,470 Yeah? Well, you can't fake this. You better practice. 760 00:42:58,450 --> 00:42:59,740 Come in. 761 00:43:00,950 --> 00:43:05,740 Jim? There's a, a young lady here to see you. 762 00:43:05,830 --> 00:43:07,830 Hey, Nadia. Hi, James. Ready to study? 763 00:43:07,910 --> 00:43:10,670 Oh, he's always ready to study. He's a real bookworm, this kid. 764 00:43:10,750 --> 00:43:12,000 Dad. I mean, 765 00:43:12,090 --> 00:43:14,130 he's not, not one of those nerdy guys but... 766 00:43:14,210 --> 00:43:15,500 Dad! 767 00:43:15,590 --> 00:43:18,920 Well, I'll, I'll let you two hit the books. 768 00:43:23,350 --> 00:43:24,970 You want a beer? 769 00:43:26,390 --> 00:43:27,520 Oh, there we go. 770 00:43:28,060 --> 00:43:29,560 Come on, move! 771 00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:34,820 Steve! It's my computer! And I wanna use it! 772 00:43:34,900 --> 00:43:36,150 Shut up! 773 00:43:36,610 --> 00:43:39,820 Oh, you need to... You need to change, right? 774 00:43:39,900 --> 00:43:42,110 Do you mind? No. No, not at all. 775 00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:46,030 Please, you know. Just go ahead and get un... Get changed. 776 00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:49,200 I'll, I'll go downstairs and start studying up. 777 00:43:49,290 --> 00:43:50,790 Yeah. Okay. 778 00:43:51,620 --> 00:43:54,040 Oh. All right, there he goes. 779 00:43:54,130 --> 00:43:56,040 Now we're in business. 780 00:43:58,590 --> 00:44:00,630 Back in a sec. Jimmy, honey... 781 00:44:12,770 --> 00:44:17,070 He pauses shaving and he tells himself that he is the bomb. 782 00:44:17,150 --> 00:44:21,650 She has her curlers set Her credit cards are paying the funds. 783 00:44:21,740 --> 00:44:24,030 He's not that old I've been told. 784 00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:25,530 Here she is. 785 00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:28,580 Did I miss anything? 786 00:44:28,660 --> 00:44:30,750 No. You are just in time. 787 00:44:30,830 --> 00:44:33,290 BOYS: Oh. Oh! KEVIN: This is incredible. 788 00:44:34,670 --> 00:44:36,920 Oh, my God! This is too much. 789 00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:40,760 FINCH: Oh, did you see? Oh, there that goes. Oh, geez. 790 00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:42,920 God bless the Internet. 791 00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:46,930 FINCH: Do it. Take it off. JIM: Oh, my God. 792 00:44:47,010 --> 00:44:48,010 BOYS: Oh! 793 00:44:48,100 --> 00:44:51,060 Oh, thank you, God, for this wonderful, wonderful day. 794 00:44:51,140 --> 00:44:53,100 FINCH: Man, she takes her vitamins. 795 00:44:53,190 --> 00:44:55,900 And it is way too unhealthy. 796 00:44:55,980 --> 00:44:57,980 Often they've typically. 797 00:44:58,070 --> 00:44:59,980 Stop hyperventilating. 798 00:45:04,860 --> 00:45:09,280 This is, like, the coolest thing I've ever seen. 799 00:45:09,370 --> 00:45:10,660 I know. 800 00:45:12,540 --> 00:45:17,290 Can you believe... This is definitely one of Stifler's best ideas ever. 801 00:45:17,380 --> 00:45:18,900 What is she... She's touching my stuff. 802 00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,340 Why is she touching my stuff? FINCH: Man, let her touch. 803 00:45:21,460 --> 00:45:24,720 She's going through my stuff! Nadia can touch anything she wants. 804 00:45:32,140 --> 00:45:34,350 FINCH: Oh. Oh, no. Oh, no. 805 00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:36,940 No, no. Oh, nice collection there, Jim. 806 00:45:37,020 --> 00:45:39,900 She's gonna leave. She's definitely gonna... 807 00:45:39,980 --> 00:45:42,610 She's getting comfortable. She's not gonna leave. 808 00:45:42,690 --> 00:45:44,610 FINCH: She reads the articles. 809 00:45:58,040 --> 00:45:59,250 Is she? 810 00:46:00,670 --> 00:46:02,590 She's going downstairs. 811 00:46:13,470 --> 00:46:16,060 Oh, my God! 812 00:46:16,140 --> 00:46:17,520 Jackpot, baby! 813 00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:18,770 Can you believe this? 814 00:46:18,860 --> 00:46:20,760 FINCH: Nadia, I would have never known. 815 00:46:20,820 --> 00:46:22,440 I have an announcement that I would like to make. 816 00:46:22,530 --> 00:46:27,780 There is a gorgeous woman masturbating on my bed! 817 00:46:27,860 --> 00:46:29,360 FINCH: Thank you, Nadia! 818 00:46:29,450 --> 00:46:33,200 If you ever had a chance with Nadia, this is it. 819 00:46:34,500 --> 00:46:35,950 What am I supposed to do, Kev? 820 00:46:36,330 --> 00:46:37,460 Seduce her. 821 00:46:39,790 --> 00:46:41,460 What the hell would I say? 822 00:46:41,540 --> 00:46:44,750 Go over there and ask her if she needs an extra hand. 823 00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:45,840 That's stupid, Kev. I can't... 824 00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:48,550 That's not stupid! You're stupid if you don't go! 825 00:46:48,630 --> 00:46:50,550 Come on! Get over there! 826 00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:51,990 Get going, man. She's prime. 827 00:46:52,050 --> 00:46:53,140 Get out of here! 828 00:46:53,220 --> 00:46:56,600 She's waiting for you. Okay, all right. I'm going. 829 00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:57,890 Go! Go! I'm going! 830 00:46:57,980 --> 00:46:59,980 Go! Go! Go! Go! Oh, shit. 831 00:47:09,240 --> 00:47:12,910 She's open waiting for more. 832 00:47:12,990 --> 00:47:17,540 And I know he's only looking to score. 833 00:47:17,620 --> 00:47:20,790 And it's way too unhealthy Often they've typically. 834 00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:22,170 Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad. 835 00:47:22,250 --> 00:47:25,590 Been starved for attention before. 836 00:47:28,670 --> 00:47:31,130 Oh, boy. Oh, God. Oh, crap. Oh, no. 837 00:47:33,930 --> 00:47:35,010 Hello? 838 00:47:35,100 --> 00:47:37,770 Looks like Jim addressed the e-mail wrong. 839 00:47:37,850 --> 00:47:38,930 What? 840 00:47:39,020 --> 00:47:42,350 It went out to every mailbox in the East High directory. 841 00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:43,940 God, how juvenile. 842 00:47:44,650 --> 00:47:46,150 Hey, hey, hey, guys! 843 00:47:46,230 --> 00:47:47,280 Baby! 844 00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:50,700 Check this out! Oh, my God! Wow! 845 00:47:53,490 --> 00:47:54,530 Oh. 846 00:47:56,200 --> 00:48:00,290 Please, God, let this be it. 847 00:48:00,370 --> 00:48:01,580 Please? 848 00:48:06,130 --> 00:48:07,460 Somebody's going in there. 849 00:48:12,550 --> 00:48:14,840 Here you go. That's what you need to do. 850 00:48:14,930 --> 00:48:16,720 That guy's in my trig class. Oh, no. 851 00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:21,560 Looks like you could use an extra hand. 852 00:48:21,640 --> 00:48:22,810 Jim! 853 00:48:22,900 --> 00:48:25,440 Well... Oh, God. Shame on you. 854 00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:28,150 Yeah, shame on me. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 855 00:48:28,230 --> 00:48:30,860 You know, I'm just gonna go. Well, 856 00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:33,990 you have seen me. 857 00:48:35,070 --> 00:48:37,280 Now, it's my turn to see you. 858 00:48:39,200 --> 00:48:40,410 Strip! 859 00:48:42,250 --> 00:48:43,830 Strip? Slowly. 860 00:48:46,420 --> 00:48:49,000 You mean, like, strip, strip? 861 00:48:49,090 --> 00:48:50,300 For me. 862 00:48:52,510 --> 00:48:54,340 What is he talking to her about? 863 00:48:54,430 --> 00:48:56,180 No idea. 864 00:48:56,260 --> 00:48:59,110 FINCH: Come on, Jim. People are viewing. Get to business. 865 00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:03,690 Perfect! 866 00:49:05,520 --> 00:49:08,150 Move, James! Move! Yeah, yeah. Move. 867 00:49:16,530 --> 00:49:18,950 Go, trig boy! It's your birthday! 868 00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:31,630 No! No. No. Please, God. 869 00:49:33,130 --> 00:49:34,130 What's going on? 870 00:49:39,810 --> 00:49:42,100 Yes! All right. Get in the mix! 871 00:49:42,180 --> 00:49:43,390 See there. Oh, okay. 872 00:49:46,310 --> 00:49:47,690 This is disgusting. 873 00:49:48,650 --> 00:49:50,570 What the fuck is this? 874 00:49:53,110 --> 00:49:54,740 Cut it out, man! 875 00:50:00,240 --> 00:50:01,370 Yeah. 876 00:50:14,510 --> 00:50:15,670 Freak. 877 00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:22,680 He did not just take out that chair. 878 00:50:22,770 --> 00:50:24,140 Yup, he took out the chair. 879 00:50:24,230 --> 00:50:26,430 More, more, you bad boy! 880 00:50:26,520 --> 00:50:30,310 Oh, yeah, I'm bad. I'm naughty, baby. Yeah! 881 00:50:31,190 --> 00:50:33,070 Oh, God! 882 00:50:34,820 --> 00:50:37,400 Calling your name. 883 00:50:37,490 --> 00:50:39,910 Calling your name. 884 00:50:39,990 --> 00:50:42,490 Now, come to me. 885 00:50:42,580 --> 00:50:44,120 Oh, yeah. 886 00:50:53,050 --> 00:50:54,630 Here we go. He's in, man. 887 00:50:55,050 --> 00:50:56,050 Calling. 888 00:50:56,130 --> 00:50:57,340 This just got a hell of a lot better. 889 00:50:57,420 --> 00:50:58,970 Be gentle. 890 00:50:59,050 --> 00:51:00,430 Okay. 891 00:51:02,390 --> 00:51:05,470 Calling your name. 892 00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:08,230 Calling your name 893 00:51:11,110 --> 00:51:14,570 Jim? Oh! 894 00:51:14,940 --> 00:51:16,440 Oh, no. Oh, no. 895 00:51:16,530 --> 00:51:19,820 Oh. Oh! You've done that before, dude. 896 00:51:19,910 --> 00:51:21,460 BOY: Houston, we have a problem. 897 00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:26,370 What happened? What did he do? 898 00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:28,200 He blew it. 899 00:51:29,170 --> 00:51:30,580 I guess I'll be going now. 900 00:51:30,670 --> 00:51:36,340 No, no, no, I'm not done, Nadia. I've got reserves. 901 00:51:36,420 --> 00:51:39,130 Nadia, please, please. I'm begging you. 902 00:51:39,220 --> 00:51:42,180 Well, I do like your dirty magazines. 903 00:51:42,260 --> 00:51:46,760 You do? Okay. Well. Did, did you see this one? 904 00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:52,190 This here is your, is your more exotic, risque magazine. 905 00:51:52,650 --> 00:51:54,810 He's pulling out the porn. He's desperate. 906 00:51:54,900 --> 00:51:56,380 FINCH: Jim, just wait till she leaves. 907 00:51:56,610 --> 00:51:59,190 Very arousing women. They arouse me... 908 00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:01,320 They arouse me very, very much. 909 00:52:01,410 --> 00:52:05,740 But... But not as arousing as you. 910 00:52:05,830 --> 00:52:09,200 Oh, Jim! Oh, God! 911 00:52:13,790 --> 00:52:15,130 Yes! Yes! 912 00:52:17,420 --> 00:52:19,170 He's ruining daisy! 913 00:52:22,590 --> 00:52:25,970 So, "shaved" is the expression? 914 00:52:30,180 --> 00:52:31,480 Holy shit. 915 00:52:31,560 --> 00:52:32,980 Holy shit! 916 00:52:33,190 --> 00:52:34,600 Holy shit! 917 00:52:35,060 --> 00:52:36,190 Holy shit! 918 00:52:36,270 --> 00:52:37,860 Touch me, Jim. 919 00:52:40,530 --> 00:52:41,650 Here. 920 00:52:42,240 --> 00:52:44,200 Oh. Oh. 921 00:52:45,570 --> 00:52:46,570 Again? 922 00:52:46,660 --> 00:52:48,030 Not again. 923 00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:49,660 Not again, man! 924 00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:51,200 Is that possible? 925 00:52:51,830 --> 00:52:53,330 What a loser. 926 00:52:57,420 --> 00:52:58,500 Hey! 927 00:53:21,070 --> 00:53:25,530 OZ: I needed someone to understand my ups and downs. 928 00:53:25,610 --> 00:53:28,370 There you were. 929 00:53:29,080 --> 00:53:32,870 With sweet love and devotion. 930 00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:35,620 Deeply touching my emotion 931 00:53:35,710 --> 00:53:40,340 I just wanna stop and thank you, baby. 932 00:53:42,720 --> 00:53:44,970 Hey, minute man! Shut up. 933 00:53:45,050 --> 00:53:47,300 You know... You know you're supposed to be supportive. 934 00:53:47,390 --> 00:53:50,560 Hey, you think you still got a chance with Nadia? 935 00:53:51,890 --> 00:53:54,520 No. Her sponsors here saw the thing on the net. 936 00:53:54,600 --> 00:53:56,940 I really don't think they liked it. 937 00:53:57,020 --> 00:53:58,900 How do you know that? 938 00:53:59,020 --> 00:54:01,150 She's already on a plane back home. 939 00:54:01,230 --> 00:54:02,400 Yeah. 940 00:54:03,190 --> 00:54:07,160 You know, guys? Maybe I'm just not good with girls, period. 941 00:54:07,240 --> 00:54:10,580 No, no, no, really, really. Like, like I was born without that part of the brain. 942 00:54:10,660 --> 00:54:12,660 I mean, I can't talk to girls. 943 00:54:12,750 --> 00:54:14,540 And when I do talk to them, I screw it up. 944 00:54:14,620 --> 00:54:18,250 Yeah, well, come prom, those excuses aren't going to do you any good. 945 00:54:21,670 --> 00:54:25,590 MICHELLE: And one time at band camp, we weren't supposed to have pillow fights 946 00:54:25,670 --> 00:54:28,930 but we had a pillow fight, and it was so much fun. 947 00:54:29,010 --> 00:54:33,970 And this one time, we all lost our music and we were supposed to play this song, 948 00:54:34,060 --> 00:54:39,400 but we didn't know it, so we just made it up and we kept playing and playing 949 00:54:39,480 --> 00:54:43,690 and the conductor didn't know what we were doing, and it was so funny. 950 00:54:43,780 --> 00:54:46,150 So, you're pissed about something, huh. 951 00:54:46,240 --> 00:54:47,740 You know what I do when I'm angry? 952 00:54:47,820 --> 00:54:51,200 I just play some Bach on my flute. It's so relaxing. 953 00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:52,700 I learned to do that at band camp. 954 00:54:52,790 --> 00:54:54,790 Hold on. 955 00:54:54,870 --> 00:54:57,870 You have no idea why I'm angry? 956 00:54:57,960 --> 00:54:59,810 Is it because we have a test tomorrow? 957 00:54:59,880 --> 00:55:04,800 Sometimes I get cranky when I know I have a big test to study for. 958 00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:07,550 Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty much it. 959 00:55:07,630 --> 00:55:10,390 I thought so because this one time at band camp... 960 00:55:10,470 --> 00:55:11,970 What's your name? 961 00:55:12,050 --> 00:55:14,060 Michelle. Okay. Michelle. 962 00:55:16,810 --> 00:55:19,100 Do you want to be my date for the prom? 963 00:55:19,190 --> 00:55:22,020 Really? You seriously want to go with me? 964 00:55:26,280 --> 00:55:28,240 Yes. Seriously. 965 00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:30,280 Are we going to Steve Stifler's party afterwards? 966 00:55:30,360 --> 00:55:32,700 Because that would be so cool. 967 00:55:32,780 --> 00:55:34,990 Sure, whatever you want. 968 00:55:35,080 --> 00:55:37,580 Cool! We're gonna have such a good time. 969 00:55:37,660 --> 00:55:41,960 It'll be like this one time at band camp when we all had a campfire... 970 00:55:57,430 --> 00:55:58,520 Hi. 971 00:56:00,390 --> 00:56:01,940 How'd you know I was here? 972 00:56:02,020 --> 00:56:03,350 Stifler told me. 973 00:56:04,520 --> 00:56:05,900 Talked to Stifler? 974 00:56:05,980 --> 00:56:08,110 Well, I needed to find you. 975 00:56:08,190 --> 00:56:11,280 We're gonna have to work on that song. 976 00:56:11,360 --> 00:56:14,660 Okay. I'm glad you came by. 977 00:56:14,740 --> 00:56:16,490 So you work nights? 978 00:56:18,790 --> 00:56:20,000 My dad's the manager. 979 00:56:20,080 --> 00:56:21,710 Really? 980 00:56:21,790 --> 00:56:24,670 Cool. Tell him the subs are great. 981 00:56:27,300 --> 00:56:28,800 So you're going to Michigan next year? 982 00:56:28,880 --> 00:56:29,880 Yeah. 983 00:56:29,970 --> 00:56:32,720 My parents want me to go to Northwestern, but... 984 00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:36,050 I don't wanna write all those extra essays they make you do. 985 00:56:36,140 --> 00:56:37,310 I mean, how am I supposed to know 986 00:56:37,390 --> 00:56:41,020 what my "most emotionally significant moment" was? 987 00:56:41,100 --> 00:56:46,190 So when my U of M acceptance came in December, I just said the hell with it. 988 00:56:46,270 --> 00:56:47,900 Onions? What? 989 00:56:48,900 --> 00:56:50,860 You want onions? 990 00:56:50,940 --> 00:56:52,570 Oh, no, thank you. 991 00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:57,660 So what are you gonna major in? 992 00:56:57,740 --> 00:56:59,990 State's got a good business school, 993 00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:02,750 and I could probably walk onto the lacrosse team. 994 00:57:02,830 --> 00:57:05,580 Well, you've probably got it pretty figured out, then, huh? 995 00:57:05,670 --> 00:57:09,880 I mean, business is okay, and lacrosse is awesome, but, 996 00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:13,010 what am I gonna be, a professional lacrosse player? 997 00:57:13,090 --> 00:57:14,970 I really have no idea. 998 00:57:15,050 --> 00:57:17,930 Thank God. I thought I was the only one. 999 00:57:18,930 --> 00:57:20,260 Well, you're not. 1000 00:57:21,930 --> 00:57:23,770 So we're gonna be close next year. 1001 00:57:32,190 --> 00:57:34,070 You mean East Lansing and Ann Arbor? 1002 00:57:34,150 --> 00:57:35,400 Yeah. 1003 00:57:37,235 --> 00:57:38,635 STIFLER: What are you talking about? 1004 00:57:38,660 --> 00:57:41,200 I'm sorry, but I can't go to the prom with you. 1005 00:57:41,290 --> 00:57:43,120 I'm holding out for someone else. 1006 00:57:44,080 --> 00:57:46,290 You gotta be fucking kidding me. 1007 00:57:46,380 --> 00:57:49,920 I know it's a long shot, but I figure Paul Finch might ask me. 1008 00:57:50,670 --> 00:57:53,420 Finch. Shit-brick. 1009 00:57:54,470 --> 00:57:57,090 Oh, gosh. I forgot. 1010 00:57:57,180 --> 00:57:59,430 You look okay. 1011 00:57:59,510 --> 00:58:02,180 I mean, the scars healed really well. 1012 00:58:03,100 --> 00:58:05,100 Hey, Stifler. Eat shit. 1013 00:58:07,850 --> 00:58:09,690 What was that all about? 1014 00:58:09,770 --> 00:58:12,360 He's still embarrassed because Finch kicked his ass. 1015 00:58:12,990 --> 00:58:14,110 Who told you that? 1016 00:58:14,820 --> 00:58:16,530 What do you mean, "no comment"? 1017 00:58:16,610 --> 00:58:17,910 Did you two hook up or something? 1018 00:58:17,990 --> 00:58:19,780 What, are you kidding? No. 1019 00:58:19,870 --> 00:58:23,160 Then how did all this get started? 1020 00:58:23,250 --> 00:58:26,580 Well, I guess it's all right for me to tell you now. 1021 00:58:26,670 --> 00:58:30,750 That reputation of his isn't going anywhere. Cheese, please. 1022 00:58:30,840 --> 00:58:32,840 Finch comes up to me and says, "Jessica", 1023 00:58:32,920 --> 00:58:35,510 "I need your help with this, blah, blah, etcetera." 1024 00:58:35,590 --> 00:58:38,220 So I said, "All right. Pay me 200 bucks", 1025 00:58:38,300 --> 00:58:41,100 "and I'll tell a couple of girls that you're dynamite in bed." 1026 00:58:41,180 --> 00:58:43,310 So he did, and I did. 1027 00:58:43,390 --> 00:58:44,600 That actually works? 1028 00:58:44,680 --> 00:58:45,930 Well, duh! Of course. 1029 00:58:46,020 --> 00:58:48,600 Naturally, I embellished a little bit. 1030 00:58:48,690 --> 00:58:51,010 Did you hear that Finch had an affair with an older woman? 1031 00:58:51,060 --> 00:58:53,190 No, I didn't hear that one. 1032 00:58:53,280 --> 00:58:55,360 That one was my favorite. 1033 00:58:56,950 --> 00:58:58,110 Dude, that cheerleader. 1034 00:58:58,200 --> 00:58:59,360 Thank you, baby. 1035 00:58:59,450 --> 00:59:01,280 She wants me. She calls me up... 1036 00:59:01,370 --> 00:59:05,910 How sweet it is to be loved by you. 1037 00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:08,960 Oh, my God, you're gay! 1038 00:59:09,040 --> 00:59:11,290 Sing it with me. You know the words. 1039 00:59:11,380 --> 00:59:14,460 No thanks, man. You've been singing that shit all week. 1040 00:59:14,550 --> 00:59:18,300 If you try that at MSU this Saturday, I'll kick your ass. 1041 00:59:18,380 --> 00:59:20,180 Our last game is this Saturday. 1042 00:59:21,300 --> 00:59:22,390 Yeah, well, shit. 1043 00:59:25,970 --> 00:59:29,600 I've got this lacrosse game. It's really important. It's our last game. 1044 00:59:29,690 --> 00:59:33,230 Central almost beat us last time, so this time I really wanna kick their ass. 1045 00:59:33,320 --> 00:59:36,110 But it's gonna be cool, because the game's at State 1046 00:59:36,190 --> 00:59:38,490 which means afterwards I'll be able to stop by. 1047 00:59:38,570 --> 00:59:40,660 So you can't sing at the competition. 1048 00:59:41,910 --> 00:59:43,760 Heather, I'm sorry. I totally blew it. 1049 00:59:43,780 --> 00:59:45,080 It's okay. 1050 00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:47,700 You should do what makes you happy. 1051 00:59:50,040 --> 00:59:53,670 All right. Listen, thanks for understanding. 1052 00:59:53,750 --> 00:59:54,880 Yeah. 1053 00:59:57,090 --> 00:59:59,420 So, I guess I'll see you later? 1054 01:00:15,650 --> 01:00:17,440 Hey, Kevin. 1055 01:00:17,530 --> 01:00:19,030 You seen shit-brick lately? 1056 01:00:19,610 --> 01:00:22,530 Why? What did you do to him? 1057 01:00:22,610 --> 01:00:24,280 Me? Nothing. 1058 01:00:25,530 --> 01:00:27,700 See, I'm the one whose ass he kicked. 1059 01:00:27,790 --> 01:00:30,540 But, I'll tell you one thing, though. 1060 01:00:31,120 --> 01:00:33,920 I don't think he's gonna have a problem shitting in school anymore. 1061 01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:37,130 Slipped a little something into his mochaccino. 1062 01:00:39,550 --> 01:00:40,800 Oh, God! 1063 01:00:41,970 --> 01:00:44,140 Oh! Oh! 1064 01:00:50,180 --> 01:00:51,390 Jesus. 1065 01:00:52,890 --> 01:00:54,690 Right this way, sir. 1066 01:01:01,320 --> 01:01:02,570 Oh, God. 1067 01:01:33,350 --> 01:01:34,560 Oh, no. 1068 01:01:36,020 --> 01:01:37,350 It's gonna be fun. 1069 01:01:37,440 --> 01:01:40,790 You know it's just gonna be some crappy band and stupid decorations. 1070 01:01:40,820 --> 01:01:42,060 GIRL 3: You're just saying that 1071 01:01:42,070 --> 01:01:44,490 because prom's a week away and you don't have a date. 1072 01:01:44,570 --> 01:01:46,910 GIRL 2: No, no, no. I don't want a date. 1073 01:01:47,870 --> 01:01:51,790 Finch is going stag and so am I. 1074 01:01:51,870 --> 01:01:54,790 God, he's like so refined. 1075 01:01:56,040 --> 01:01:58,130 You think that older woman thing is true? 1076 01:01:58,210 --> 01:02:01,590 Yeah, it's true. It was Stifler's mom. 1077 01:02:04,760 --> 01:02:06,930 Joanie, was that you? 1078 01:02:07,010 --> 01:02:09,220 Oh! FINCH: Can't hold it. 1079 01:02:09,300 --> 01:02:10,350 Oh! 1080 01:02:17,270 --> 01:02:18,520 GIRLS: Ew! 1081 01:02:41,170 --> 01:02:42,290 Yeah! 1082 01:02:45,590 --> 01:02:48,340 VICKY: Kev? I think we've come 1083 01:02:48,430 --> 01:02:50,510 a really long way since homecoming. 1084 01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:52,050 KEVIN: Yeah, we have. 1085 01:02:52,140 --> 01:02:56,640 Maybe it's time we start to express ourselves in new ways. 1086 01:02:58,310 --> 01:03:00,350 Yeah. You wanna do it? 1087 01:03:00,440 --> 01:03:03,320 Yeah. I love you. 1088 01:03:05,070 --> 01:03:06,610 It's your turn. 1089 01:03:08,660 --> 01:03:10,950 That's not what I was thinking. 1090 01:03:11,660 --> 01:03:15,200 Sex. It's always about sex. 1091 01:03:15,290 --> 01:03:17,450 It's not always about sex. 1092 01:03:18,460 --> 01:03:21,330 I just thought it was about sex this time. 1093 01:03:24,920 --> 01:03:29,300 Look, Vicky, love is a term that gets thrown around 1094 01:03:29,380 --> 01:03:31,550 and, and people don't mean it. 1095 01:03:31,640 --> 01:03:34,760 When I say it, I want it to be more than words. 1096 01:03:34,850 --> 01:03:37,520 You know? I want it to be... Perfect. 1097 01:03:39,810 --> 01:03:41,310 Exactly. 1098 01:03:41,810 --> 01:03:44,360 Okay, Albert. You ready? No problemo. 1099 01:03:45,650 --> 01:03:49,530 I close my eyes at night. 1100 01:03:49,610 --> 01:03:51,360 Come on, Heather. Work with me here. 1101 01:03:57,500 --> 01:04:00,290 ANNOUNCER: Goal, Ostreicher! 1102 01:04:00,790 --> 01:04:04,210 All right, Oz! Atta boy, Ozzie! 1103 01:04:04,290 --> 01:04:05,460 BOY: Yeah, baby! 1104 01:04:05,550 --> 01:04:08,130 We're crushing you losers! BOY: Let's go, fellas! 1105 01:04:08,210 --> 01:04:09,420 Come on! 1106 01:04:12,510 --> 01:04:16,890 Bumblebee, bumblebee, bumblebee, bumblebee, bumblebee. 1107 01:04:16,970 --> 01:04:19,310 Focus on the music. Think melody. 1108 01:04:19,390 --> 01:04:20,770 Let the music be my guide. 1109 01:04:20,850 --> 01:04:22,230 That would be a start. 1110 01:04:33,110 --> 01:04:35,370 Who's the man? Stifler! 1111 01:04:37,870 --> 01:04:39,950 Huddle up, guys! Huddle up! 1112 01:04:47,710 --> 01:04:51,970 Huddle up! Come on! Okay. 1113 01:04:52,050 --> 01:04:54,130 All right, all right! 1114 01:04:54,220 --> 01:04:56,220 Good hustle, guys. Good hustle. 1115 01:04:56,300 --> 01:05:01,480 But you can still lose. You all saw what happened to Oz out there. 1116 01:05:01,560 --> 01:05:06,060 I don't want to ever see any of you thinking you're gonna score. 1117 01:05:06,900 --> 01:05:09,900 You don't score until you score. 1118 01:05:09,990 --> 01:05:12,610 Until you score. That's right, baby! 1119 01:05:12,700 --> 01:05:15,240 It all boils down to today. 1120 01:05:15,320 --> 01:05:18,700 For you seniors, this marks the culmination 1121 01:05:18,790 --> 01:05:21,750 of the past four years. Culmination. 1122 01:05:22,750 --> 01:05:26,500 I want you to think about what this means to you. 1123 01:05:26,580 --> 01:05:30,050 Do you guys wanna look back on your days at East 1124 01:05:30,130 --> 01:05:32,840 and know that you used the time you had? 1125 01:05:32,920 --> 01:05:36,090 Hell, yeah! COACH: You do! 1126 01:05:38,350 --> 01:05:40,260 Good attitude, Ostreicher. 1127 01:05:40,350 --> 01:05:41,720 Good luck, fellas. 1128 01:05:42,640 --> 01:05:45,890 Christ, I didn't tell you to leave the game. 1129 01:05:45,980 --> 01:05:47,190 I'm sorry, Coach. 1130 01:05:47,270 --> 01:05:50,110 You got someplace more important to be, Ostreicher? 1131 01:05:50,190 --> 01:05:51,320 Yeah. 1132 01:05:53,150 --> 01:05:54,570 Ostreicher! 1133 01:05:55,610 --> 01:05:59,450 Oz? Fuckface? 1134 01:05:59,530 --> 01:06:00,950 COACH: Ostreicher! 1135 01:06:27,190 --> 01:06:29,480 Hey, Oz! Ozmeister! 1136 01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:31,980 Oh, great. What about the game? 1137 01:06:32,070 --> 01:06:33,280 I'm not playing. 1138 01:06:33,360 --> 01:06:35,360 You're missing the game for us? 1139 01:06:35,450 --> 01:06:38,110 No, I'm missing the game for you. 1140 01:06:41,200 --> 01:06:43,870 Does this mean I'm not gonna get to do the duet? 1141 01:06:43,950 --> 01:06:45,290 Albert, you suck. 1142 01:06:50,590 --> 01:06:52,460 I don't think he's coming back. 1143 01:06:52,550 --> 01:06:54,960 Close my eyes at night. 1144 01:06:55,050 --> 01:06:56,260 Close my eyes. 1145 01:06:56,340 --> 01:06:59,720 Wondering where would I be without you in my life. 1146 01:06:59,800 --> 01:07:01,100 Oh. 1147 01:07:01,180 --> 01:07:03,430 Everything I did was just a bore. 1148 01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:04,770 Just a bore. 1149 01:07:04,850 --> 01:07:08,560 Everywhere I went seems I been there before. 1150 01:07:08,650 --> 01:07:10,900 But you brighten up for me But you brighten up for me. 1151 01:07:11,020 --> 01:07:12,940 All of my days All of my days. 1152 01:07:13,020 --> 01:07:14,820 With a love so sweet. 1153 01:07:14,900 --> 01:07:16,280 In so many ways 1154 01:07:16,360 --> 01:07:18,780 I just wanna stop. 1155 01:07:18,860 --> 01:07:20,610 And thank you, baby And thank you, baby 1156 01:07:20,700 --> 01:07:23,280 I just wanna stop. 1157 01:07:23,370 --> 01:07:24,950 And thank you, baby And thank you, baby. 1158 01:07:25,040 --> 01:07:26,500 Thank you, baby. 1159 01:07:26,580 --> 01:07:28,580 How sweet it is How sweet it is. 1160 01:07:28,670 --> 01:07:31,210 To be loved by you To be loved by you. 1161 01:07:34,250 --> 01:07:36,760 Yeah, Oz! You fucking rule! 1162 01:07:36,840 --> 01:07:39,470 Fucking rule! Yeah! 1163 01:07:42,220 --> 01:07:44,220 VICKY: Maybe the words aren't that important. 1164 01:07:44,310 --> 01:07:46,520 It's like, I know he really cares about me, you know? 1165 01:07:46,600 --> 01:07:48,810 Even if he can't say it, he does. 1166 01:07:48,890 --> 01:07:52,740 And yeah, he always talks about sex, but that's okay, 'cause he's a guy, right? 1167 01:07:52,770 --> 01:07:54,400 He's got a dick. He's a guy. 1168 01:07:54,480 --> 01:07:55,900 Right. 1169 01:07:55,980 --> 01:07:57,400 Wait. Is this translation right? 1170 01:07:57,490 --> 01:08:00,400 "Go home, bird teacher. I've had enough." 1171 01:08:00,490 --> 01:08:02,910 I don't know. I got it from Kevin. 1172 01:08:04,080 --> 01:08:07,080 So, does it hurt? What? 1173 01:08:07,160 --> 01:08:10,500 You know, sex. Does it hurt? 1174 01:08:10,580 --> 01:08:14,460 Yeah. I mean, the first time you do it, you know, it hurts. 1175 01:08:14,540 --> 01:08:18,840 But then you, you do it again and again and again... 1176 01:08:18,920 --> 01:08:21,970 It just starts to feel good. Really good. 1177 01:08:22,050 --> 01:08:24,760 Okay, so say I don't do it. 1178 01:08:26,260 --> 01:08:27,660 And then I go off to college. 1179 01:08:27,680 --> 01:08:30,020 I might end up doing it with some random guy 1180 01:08:30,100 --> 01:08:32,020 who totally turns out to be a jerk. 1181 01:08:32,100 --> 01:08:33,690 This is true. 1182 01:08:33,770 --> 01:08:36,650 And I'll wish I would've done it with Kevin. 1183 01:08:36,730 --> 01:08:38,650 So go do it with Kevin. 1184 01:08:39,610 --> 01:08:42,030 You think? Yeah. You're... You're ready. 1185 01:08:42,110 --> 01:08:45,450 You're woman. Look at you. You're ready for sex. 1186 01:08:45,530 --> 01:08:46,950 You're right. I know. 1187 01:08:47,080 --> 01:08:49,290 I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna have sex. Now. 1188 01:08:49,370 --> 01:08:51,571 And it's gonna be right, and it's gonna be just perfect. 1189 01:08:51,580 --> 01:08:53,790 Perfect sex. Thanks, Jessica. 1190 01:08:53,880 --> 01:08:55,130 Please. 1191 01:08:56,920 --> 01:08:58,090 Kevin. 1192 01:08:59,380 --> 01:09:00,590 Kevin. 1193 01:09:02,880 --> 01:09:06,140 I wanna have sex. Now? 1194 01:09:11,310 --> 01:09:12,480 Prom. 1195 01:09:16,060 --> 01:09:21,190 As you walk up those steps and garner your award. 1196 01:09:21,280 --> 01:09:25,360 Try not to forget about me. 1197 01:09:25,450 --> 01:09:28,700 'Cause I was there when you had no one else to hold. 1198 01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:34,250 You used to look just like a saint. 1199 01:09:34,330 --> 01:09:36,120 Stumbling towards. 1200 01:09:36,210 --> 01:09:40,340 Yours and God's very own quarantine. 1201 01:09:40,420 --> 01:09:44,840 You used to never think you'd ever grow old. 1202 01:09:55,100 --> 01:09:57,690 You must be excited about the big night tonight. 1203 01:09:57,770 --> 01:09:59,060 Thrilled. 1204 01:10:00,150 --> 01:10:01,400 Who's the lucky girl? 1205 01:10:03,070 --> 01:10:04,950 Michelle. 1206 01:10:05,030 --> 01:10:07,320 Michelle. Yeah. 1207 01:10:08,200 --> 01:10:10,200 She must be very special. 1208 01:10:10,290 --> 01:10:12,080 Oh, she's special, all right. 1209 01:10:12,160 --> 01:10:15,410 I'm sure she is special if you picked her out of the whole bunch. 1210 01:10:19,420 --> 01:10:22,840 Jim, I'm just gonna say one thing before you leave tonight. 1211 01:10:24,630 --> 01:10:27,680 I want you to be very, very careful 1212 01:10:29,470 --> 01:10:31,850 when you're putting on 1213 01:10:31,930 --> 01:10:33,390 the corsage. 1214 01:10:38,230 --> 01:10:39,310 Okay, Dad. 1215 01:10:39,400 --> 01:10:41,360 Promise me. I promise. 1216 01:11:01,500 --> 01:11:02,380 Midnight at the oasis. 1217 01:11:02,380 --> 01:11:06,090 Midnight at the oasis. 1218 01:11:07,630 --> 01:11:11,640 Send your camel to bed. 1219 01:11:12,930 --> 01:11:16,430 Shadows painting our faces. 1220 01:11:16,520 --> 01:11:22,810 Traces of romance in our heads. 1221 01:11:23,110 --> 01:11:26,440 Heaven's holding a half-moon. 1222 01:11:28,280 --> 01:11:32,030 Shining just for us. 1223 01:11:33,200 --> 01:11:37,160 Let's slip off to a sand dune. 1224 01:11:37,250 --> 01:11:39,370 Real soon. 1225 01:11:39,460 --> 01:11:42,540 And kick up a little dust. 1226 01:11:42,630 --> 01:11:47,630 Come on Cactus is our friend. 1227 01:11:47,720 --> 01:11:51,840 He'll point out the way. 1228 01:11:51,930 --> 01:11:54,680 You know, at band camp, we have dances like this, 1229 01:11:54,760 --> 01:11:56,720 only they're way funner. 1230 01:11:57,980 --> 01:12:01,400 Till the evening ends. 1231 01:12:01,480 --> 01:12:03,650 Hey, hey, hey. 1232 01:12:11,740 --> 01:12:14,830 All right, status check. Where do you guys stand? 1233 01:12:14,910 --> 01:12:18,700 Finch, we know where you are, but can't really use that as an excuse. 1234 01:12:18,790 --> 01:12:20,580 Jim? 1235 01:12:20,670 --> 01:12:25,090 My date's a flute-toting band dork. Does that answer your question? 1236 01:12:25,170 --> 01:12:28,590 Oz, is this vocal-jazz shit gonna pay off or what? 1237 01:12:28,670 --> 01:12:31,340 Kevin, what's with the attitude? 1238 01:12:31,430 --> 01:12:34,300 Attitude? Me? 1239 01:12:34,390 --> 01:12:37,040 I think you guys should be a little more enthusiastic. 1240 01:12:37,810 --> 01:12:39,680 This is the night we've been waiting for. 1241 01:12:39,770 --> 01:12:41,810 We're in this together. You guys can't back out. 1242 01:12:41,890 --> 01:12:45,480 Kev, you don't need us to get laid. Are you afraid or something? 1243 01:12:45,570 --> 01:12:48,860 No. Come on. We made a pact. 1244 01:12:49,440 --> 01:12:52,240 You can't break that. You guys are gonna have to... 1245 01:12:52,320 --> 01:12:56,070 Have to what, Kev, huh? I don't have to do shit. 1246 01:12:56,160 --> 01:13:00,410 Forget it already. I am so sick and tired of all this bullshit pressure. 1247 01:13:00,500 --> 01:13:04,710 I've never even had sex, and already, I can't stand it. I hate sex! 1248 01:13:04,790 --> 01:13:07,880 And I'm not gonna stand around here busting my balls over something that, 1249 01:13:07,960 --> 01:13:10,630 quite frankly, isn't that damn important. 1250 01:13:10,720 --> 01:13:12,561 I'm gonna go hang out with that geek over there 1251 01:13:12,590 --> 01:13:16,600 'cause at least she has something else to talk about besides sex. 1252 01:13:16,680 --> 01:13:17,890 Goddamn. 1253 01:13:19,970 --> 01:13:21,100 Yeah. 1254 01:13:22,440 --> 01:13:25,810 You know, at least I learned how to shit in school, buddy. 1255 01:13:25,900 --> 01:13:27,770 Hey, Finch. 1256 01:13:27,860 --> 01:13:30,610 Wanna dance? Yeah. 1257 01:13:31,900 --> 01:13:34,530 Oooh. 1258 01:13:35,910 --> 01:13:37,410 How come you have no date? 1259 01:13:37,490 --> 01:13:39,700 I like to keep my options open. 1260 01:13:39,790 --> 01:13:41,750 I got something for you. 1261 01:13:44,080 --> 01:13:45,750 Consider it a consolation prize. 1262 01:13:48,920 --> 01:13:51,460 Jessica, this is great! Wow! 1263 01:13:51,550 --> 01:13:54,130 Felt sort of guilty about taking your money. 1264 01:13:54,220 --> 01:13:55,840 You spent $200 on this? 1265 01:13:55,930 --> 01:14:00,010 No, I spent 50 on the flask, 150 on the earrings. 1266 01:14:01,640 --> 01:14:03,810 These are... Let me just clarify 1267 01:14:03,890 --> 01:14:06,440 that you have no chance of scoring with me, Finch. 1268 01:14:06,520 --> 01:14:08,190 Of course not! 1269 01:14:08,270 --> 01:14:10,820 So I take it you and Sherman are pretty close, huh? 1270 01:14:10,860 --> 01:14:12,910 You met at that party a while back, right? 1271 01:14:12,990 --> 01:14:14,950 Yeah, we were up all night together. 1272 01:14:15,030 --> 01:14:18,110 We had one of those amazingly deep conversations 1273 01:14:18,200 --> 01:14:21,490 where you feel like you really get to know someone. 1274 01:14:22,450 --> 01:14:24,540 Deep conversation, huh? 1275 01:14:24,620 --> 01:14:26,790 Is that what you call it? 1276 01:14:26,870 --> 01:14:28,790 What else would I call it? 1277 01:14:35,760 --> 01:14:37,470 Thank you, Great Falls. 1278 01:14:37,550 --> 01:14:40,850 We're gonna take a little break. You are beautiful. 1279 01:14:44,890 --> 01:14:46,180 BOY: You suck! 1280 01:14:49,980 --> 01:14:51,820 Excuse me, everyone. 1281 01:14:52,980 --> 01:14:55,190 Sorry to interrupt. 1282 01:14:55,280 --> 01:14:57,820 I just thought you all should know this. 1283 01:14:57,910 --> 01:15:00,410 Chuck Sherman is a liar. 1284 01:15:00,490 --> 01:15:02,370 I never had sex with him. 1285 01:15:02,450 --> 01:15:04,580 He's never had sex with anyone. 1286 01:15:04,660 --> 01:15:06,660 I know this because he told me. 1287 01:15:06,750 --> 01:15:09,870 Once he tried to screw a grapefruit, but that's all. 1288 01:15:09,960 --> 01:15:12,540 Oh. He also told me that when he gets nervous, 1289 01:15:12,630 --> 01:15:14,380 he sometimes wets his pants. 1290 01:15:14,460 --> 01:15:16,420 Thank you for your time. 1291 01:15:30,980 --> 01:15:34,150 Guess what? Not interested. 1292 01:15:34,230 --> 01:15:38,860 Kevin. Come on, man. The bus to Stifler's is gonna be here soon. 1293 01:15:38,950 --> 01:15:41,280 I'm not going. What? 1294 01:15:41,370 --> 01:15:42,620 Why not? 1295 01:15:44,160 --> 01:15:47,750 Look, things didn't really turn out how I wanted them to. 1296 01:15:49,210 --> 01:15:51,460 I mean, I don't even know what I'm doing. 1297 01:15:51,540 --> 01:15:55,090 I'm acting like I've got everything together tonight. 1298 01:15:55,170 --> 01:15:58,970 I know that Vicky's gonna ask me if I love her, and 1299 01:15:59,050 --> 01:16:01,130 I don't know what I'm gonna say. 1300 01:16:01,220 --> 01:16:02,800 I mean, I'm on the brink. 1301 01:16:02,890 --> 01:16:06,560 I'm just about to do it. I should be psyched. 1302 01:16:06,640 --> 01:16:10,560 I don't know. Maybe you're right. Maybe I am just scared. 1303 01:16:11,440 --> 01:16:14,650 Come on, Kev. Tonight is the night. 1304 01:16:14,730 --> 01:16:17,780 We, we are finally going to a post-prom party on the lake. 1305 01:16:17,860 --> 01:16:20,820 We have been waiting for this for four years. 1306 01:16:20,910 --> 01:16:24,320 Why else have we been friends with Stifler all this time, right? 1307 01:16:24,410 --> 01:16:25,950 We were friends with Stifler? 1308 01:16:27,080 --> 01:16:28,450 Hey, look. 1309 01:16:30,210 --> 01:16:32,920 Sherman didn't even get laid. 1310 01:16:33,000 --> 01:16:35,420 He didn't? No, he pissed himself. 1311 01:16:36,880 --> 01:16:38,000 What? 1312 01:16:39,510 --> 01:16:41,510 We'll tell you on the bus. 1313 01:16:41,590 --> 01:16:44,840 I'm gonna go inside and grab my bag. 1314 01:16:44,930 --> 01:16:46,760 My date, too, perhaps? 1315 01:16:49,140 --> 01:16:51,140 JIM: Stifler's mom got it in the divorce. 1316 01:16:51,140 --> 01:16:53,380 MICHELLE: That reminds me of this one time... 1317 01:16:53,400 --> 01:16:55,990 Hey, can I ask you a question? 1318 01:16:56,070 --> 01:16:59,070 How come you don't have any stories? I've got lots of them 1319 01:16:59,110 --> 01:17:01,360 and you don't have any. 1320 01:17:01,450 --> 01:17:04,410 Oh, I've got stories. Believe me. They're just... 1321 01:17:04,500 --> 01:17:07,500 They're just a little more risque than tales of band camp. 1322 01:17:07,580 --> 01:17:12,040 Are they gross or something? Like guy stuff? Tell me! 1323 01:17:12,120 --> 01:17:13,790 Okay. You want a story? 1324 01:17:13,870 --> 01:17:16,580 Here's a story. Stifler finds this beer... 1325 01:17:20,210 --> 01:17:22,380 This is the nicest room in the house. 1326 01:17:22,470 --> 01:17:23,930 Kev, it's perfect. 1327 01:17:36,480 --> 01:17:38,860 You guys are gonna fuck, aren't you? 1328 01:17:38,940 --> 01:17:41,400 Fuckers! Fuckers, fuckers! 1329 01:17:41,490 --> 01:17:44,200 Fuckers, fuckers, fuckers! 1330 01:17:45,450 --> 01:17:47,740 Out. Come on! 1331 01:17:47,830 --> 01:17:50,240 Get out. Man! 1332 01:18:07,640 --> 01:18:10,560 There's something I've been meaning to tell you, Heather. 1333 01:18:10,570 --> 01:18:12,680 What's that? 1334 01:18:12,850 --> 01:18:16,230 It's gonna sound really bad, but, I want you to know... 1335 01:18:17,900 --> 01:18:19,270 You see... 1336 01:18:20,650 --> 01:18:23,190 I'm a virgin, and... 1337 01:18:24,990 --> 01:18:27,610 Well, me, Kevin, Jim and Finch were... 1338 01:18:27,700 --> 01:18:30,200 We all made this pact 1339 01:18:30,280 --> 01:18:33,290 that we would lose our virginity 1340 01:18:33,370 --> 01:18:35,910 before high school was over, 1341 01:18:36,000 --> 01:18:39,710 and tonight is supposed to be the night that we all do it. 1342 01:18:40,630 --> 01:18:42,800 This isn't the best way to proposition me. 1343 01:18:42,880 --> 01:18:45,470 No, that's... That's not what I mean. 1344 01:18:45,550 --> 01:18:47,220 What I mean is... 1345 01:18:49,050 --> 01:18:52,140 Look, do you know what made me leave that game? 1346 01:18:52,220 --> 01:18:55,640 See, Coach, he was giving us this speech about 1347 01:18:55,730 --> 01:18:58,980 not slacking off when you see the opportunity to score... 1348 01:18:59,060 --> 01:19:00,520 This isn't any better, Chris. 1349 01:19:00,610 --> 01:19:03,400 No, see... You see, Heather, 1350 01:19:03,480 --> 01:19:06,360 what I realized is that with you, 1351 01:19:06,450 --> 01:19:10,320 it's not like I'm running towards a goal 1352 01:19:10,410 --> 01:19:12,910 looking for the best way to score. 1353 01:19:13,950 --> 01:19:16,620 This may sound a little corny, but, 1354 01:19:17,500 --> 01:19:19,670 I feel like I've already won. 1355 01:19:22,130 --> 01:19:25,130 And I care about you a lot. 1356 01:19:27,720 --> 01:19:29,090 Oz, I know. 1357 01:19:31,430 --> 01:19:32,510 You called me Oz. 1358 01:19:32,600 --> 01:19:34,930 Well, yeah. 1359 01:19:35,020 --> 01:19:37,020 It's what your friends call you. 1360 01:19:37,100 --> 01:19:40,230 I mean, I feel like I'm one of your friends now. 1361 01:19:40,310 --> 01:19:42,940 And your girlfriend? 1362 01:19:45,820 --> 01:19:50,200 I never thought that I could love like this. 1363 01:19:50,280 --> 01:19:53,530 This feeling inside me is growing 1364 01:19:53,620 --> 01:19:58,160 I never thought that you would come. 1365 01:20:18,100 --> 01:20:19,640 Are you lost? 1366 01:20:23,730 --> 01:20:26,570 You're Stifler's mom. 1367 01:20:26,650 --> 01:20:28,740 No, no, not lost. Just... 1368 01:20:30,070 --> 01:20:32,070 You know, taking the tour. 1369 01:20:34,030 --> 01:20:37,660 Hey, thank you for letting us have this wonderful party. 1370 01:20:37,750 --> 01:20:40,710 As if there was an alternative in the matter. 1371 01:20:46,170 --> 01:20:48,170 So, you enjoying yourself? 1372 01:20:48,260 --> 01:20:51,380 I'm three sheets to the wind, ma'am. 1373 01:20:51,970 --> 01:20:54,140 I'm so happy for you. 1374 01:20:54,220 --> 01:20:56,070 But it takes the edge off, doesn't it? 1375 01:20:57,850 --> 01:20:59,450 Where's your little date tonight? 1376 01:20:59,520 --> 01:21:01,350 No date. It was... 1377 01:21:01,440 --> 01:21:03,560 It was a bathroom incident. 1378 01:21:04,690 --> 01:21:05,980 Pardon me? 1379 01:21:06,070 --> 01:21:07,320 Never mind. 1380 01:21:12,030 --> 01:21:14,740 You have anything to drink? 1381 01:21:14,820 --> 01:21:17,910 I believe the kegs are upstairs. 1382 01:21:17,990 --> 01:21:20,450 That is what the cretins drink. 1383 01:21:20,540 --> 01:21:22,540 I'm talking about alcohol, liquor. 1384 01:21:22,620 --> 01:21:25,580 The good stuff. All right. 1385 01:21:27,590 --> 01:21:29,380 I got some scotch. 1386 01:21:29,460 --> 01:21:30,630 Single malt? 1387 01:21:30,710 --> 01:21:32,130 Aged 18 years. 1388 01:21:33,970 --> 01:21:35,680 The way I like it. 1389 01:21:39,890 --> 01:21:42,730 Why don't you go grab a glass from the bar? 1390 01:21:44,350 --> 01:21:46,020 I think I should. 1391 01:21:47,060 --> 01:21:48,400 Allow me. 1392 01:21:50,530 --> 01:21:52,320 You know it's a bitching party. 1393 01:21:52,400 --> 01:21:55,570 The Stif-man always comes through in the clutch. 1394 01:21:59,410 --> 01:22:02,080 And then he just puked his brains out. 1395 01:22:02,160 --> 01:22:05,210 That is a nasty story. Yep, I told you. 1396 01:22:05,290 --> 01:22:09,250 Do you want to hear a nasty story of mine? It's sort of sexual. 1397 01:22:11,340 --> 01:22:13,970 Yeah! Yeah, let's hear it. 1398 01:22:14,050 --> 01:22:18,970 Okay, well, this one time at band camp, we were playing this game. 1399 01:22:19,050 --> 01:22:22,560 I don't know if you know it, but it's called "Spin the Bottle." 1400 01:22:22,640 --> 01:22:26,730 And I had to kiss this guy named Mark Wander on the lips. 1401 01:22:26,810 --> 01:22:28,440 And... And he plays trombone... 1402 01:22:29,110 --> 01:22:31,230 So how do you want to be? 1403 01:22:31,320 --> 01:22:33,990 Like, how do you want to do it? 1404 01:22:35,320 --> 01:22:38,200 I don't know. How do you? 1405 01:22:38,280 --> 01:22:42,790 Like normal style. The missionary position. 1406 01:22:45,660 --> 01:22:46,830 Okay. 1407 01:22:53,010 --> 01:22:54,090 Kev? 1408 01:22:54,970 --> 01:22:58,010 Yeah? I wanna hear you say it. 1409 01:22:58,090 --> 01:22:59,180 Okay. 1410 01:23:02,640 --> 01:23:03,970 Victoria... 1411 01:23:05,640 --> 01:23:07,020 I love you. 1412 01:23:08,650 --> 01:23:09,980 I love you. 1413 01:23:22,950 --> 01:23:24,740 Don't stray. 1414 01:23:24,830 --> 01:23:27,330 Don't ever go away 1415 01:23:27,410 --> 01:23:30,170 I should be much too smart for this. 1416 01:23:30,250 --> 01:23:32,790 You know it gets the better of me. 1417 01:23:32,880 --> 01:23:37,090 Sometimes, when you and I collide. 1418 01:23:37,170 --> 01:23:38,300 Oh. My hair. 1419 01:23:38,380 --> 01:23:40,220 I fall into an ocean of you. 1420 01:23:40,300 --> 01:23:42,350 Pull me out in time. 1421 01:23:42,430 --> 01:23:44,260 Don't let me drown. 1422 01:23:44,350 --> 01:23:46,640 Let me down. 1423 01:23:46,730 --> 01:23:48,020 You okay? 1424 01:23:49,230 --> 01:23:52,270 Yeah. Go slow. 1425 01:23:53,270 --> 01:23:55,980 Say you'll stay. 1426 01:23:56,070 --> 01:23:59,530 Don't come and go. 1427 01:23:59,610 --> 01:24:01,660 Like you do. 1428 01:24:03,450 --> 01:24:06,120 Sway my way. 1429 01:24:06,200 --> 01:24:09,290 Yeah, I need to know. 1430 01:24:09,370 --> 01:24:12,040 All about you. 1431 01:24:13,540 --> 01:24:15,880 Say you'll stay. 1432 01:24:15,960 --> 01:24:18,460 So the end of the story is you 1433 01:24:18,550 --> 01:24:21,090 had to kiss the guy for 20 seconds. 1434 01:24:21,180 --> 01:24:25,260 Yes! And he was such a dork. Everyone laughed at me 1435 01:24:25,350 --> 01:24:27,770 but I didn't care because it was so funny. 1436 01:24:27,850 --> 01:24:29,140 I get it. 1437 01:24:29,230 --> 01:24:33,060 And this one time at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy. 1438 01:24:36,900 --> 01:24:38,030 Excuse me? 1439 01:24:38,110 --> 01:24:40,820 What? You don't think I know how to get myself off? 1440 01:24:40,900 --> 01:24:44,280 Hell, that's what half of band camp is. Sex Ed. 1441 01:24:44,370 --> 01:24:48,080 So are we gonna screw soon? 'Cause I'm getting kinda antsy. 1442 01:24:56,300 --> 01:24:57,670 This'll do. 1443 01:25:00,420 --> 01:25:01,470 Ow! 1444 01:25:04,430 --> 01:25:08,930 Now, I have two rubbers. Wear them both. It'll desensitize you. 1445 01:25:09,020 --> 01:25:12,190 I don't want you coming so damn early this time. 1446 01:25:13,730 --> 01:25:15,930 What makes you think that I would come early? 1447 01:25:15,940 --> 01:25:18,190 Come on. I saw you on the net. 1448 01:25:18,280 --> 01:25:20,280 Why do you think I accepted this date? 1449 01:25:20,360 --> 01:25:22,150 You're a sure thing. 1450 01:25:25,070 --> 01:25:26,450 Yes, I am. 1451 01:25:28,200 --> 01:25:32,250 So I said, "This is very obviously a Piero della Francesca." 1452 01:25:40,010 --> 01:25:45,550 So, would you object if I said that you were quite striking? 1453 01:25:46,850 --> 01:25:50,720 Mr. Finch, are you trying to seduce me? 1454 01:25:50,810 --> 01:25:52,060 Yes, ma'am, I am. 1455 01:25:52,140 --> 01:25:55,270 And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson 1456 01:25:55,350 --> 01:25:59,770 Jesus loves you more than you will know. 1457 01:25:59,860 --> 01:26:02,400 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1458 01:26:02,490 --> 01:26:05,740 Stand up tall, Mrs. Robinson 1459 01:26:05,820 --> 01:26:07,700 God in heaven smiles on those who pray. 1460 01:26:07,780 --> 01:26:09,780 You're dead. 1461 01:26:09,870 --> 01:26:12,250 Hey, hey, hey. 1462 01:26:12,330 --> 01:26:13,750 Hey, hey, hey. 1463 01:26:16,750 --> 01:26:19,340 Sway my way. 1464 01:26:19,420 --> 01:26:22,420 Yeah, I need to know. 1465 01:26:22,510 --> 01:26:25,930 All about you. 1466 01:26:26,010 --> 01:26:28,550 And there's no cure. 1467 01:26:28,640 --> 01:26:31,180 And no way to be sure. 1468 01:26:31,270 --> 01:26:33,720 Why everything's turned inside out. 1469 01:26:33,810 --> 01:26:35,730 Instilling so much doubt. 1470 01:26:35,810 --> 01:26:38,190 It makes me so tired 1471 01:26:38,270 --> 01:26:41,070 I feel so uninspired. 1472 01:26:41,150 --> 01:26:43,730 My head is battling with my heart. 1473 01:26:43,820 --> 01:26:47,370 My logic has been torn apart And now 1474 01:26:47,400 --> 01:26:50,120 I had no idea you'd be this good. FINCH: Neither did I. 1475 01:26:50,200 --> 01:26:52,080 Oh, Finchy. Finch. 1476 01:26:52,160 --> 01:26:55,080 Oh, Stifler's mom, whoa! Finchy! 1477 01:27:03,460 --> 01:27:04,590 Okay, let's go. 1478 01:27:04,670 --> 01:27:06,970 What's my name? Say my name, bitch! 1479 01:27:07,050 --> 01:27:08,930 Michelle, Michelle. 1480 01:27:10,600 --> 01:27:11,890 JIM: Oh, God. 1481 01:27:40,500 --> 01:27:42,250 That was a great night, huh? 1482 01:27:45,840 --> 01:27:47,010 Yeah. 1483 01:27:48,590 --> 01:27:51,840 I mean, I just can't believe we had our senior prom. 1484 01:27:51,930 --> 01:27:54,010 I know. 1485 01:27:54,100 --> 01:27:56,100 It went by so fast. 1486 01:27:56,180 --> 01:27:57,640 Yeah, it did. 1487 01:27:58,770 --> 01:27:59,940 Kevin? 1488 01:28:05,110 --> 01:28:08,860 Next year with you going to Ann Arbor and me going to Ithaca, 1489 01:28:10,860 --> 01:28:12,990 it's not gonna work, is it? 1490 01:28:14,080 --> 01:28:16,200 No. Don't say that. 1491 01:28:16,290 --> 01:28:18,870 I mean, we could make it work. 1492 01:28:20,080 --> 01:28:22,460 It'll be perfect. No, Kevin. 1493 01:28:24,420 --> 01:28:26,750 But... See, that's what I've been realizing 1494 01:28:26,840 --> 01:28:29,920 is that nothing's perfect. 1495 01:28:30,010 --> 01:28:32,260 And you can't plan everything. 1496 01:28:34,300 --> 01:28:37,640 Well, I guess you will be pretty far away. 1497 01:28:39,350 --> 01:28:42,270 And we'll be on our own, meeting new people. 1498 01:28:46,780 --> 01:28:48,530 Last night, though. 1499 01:28:52,360 --> 01:28:53,990 I wasn't lying. 1500 01:28:56,580 --> 01:28:57,830 I know. 1501 01:29:14,340 --> 01:29:15,760 She's gone. 1502 01:29:18,010 --> 01:29:19,890 Oh, my God. She used me. 1503 01:29:19,980 --> 01:29:21,350 I was used. 1504 01:29:24,020 --> 01:29:25,400 I was used. 1505 01:29:26,360 --> 01:29:27,440 Cool! 1506 01:29:29,900 --> 01:29:31,610 STIFLER: What's this door locked... 1507 01:29:31,700 --> 01:29:33,400 Mom, where's... 1508 01:29:35,160 --> 01:29:37,910 Mom? Shit-brick? 1509 01:29:37,990 --> 01:29:39,240 FINCH: Hey, Stifler. 1510 01:29:41,830 --> 01:29:44,290 Do do do Do do do do 1511 01:29:44,920 --> 01:29:47,210 I just gotta say that women, 1512 01:29:48,590 --> 01:29:52,300 like a fine wine, only get better with age. 1513 01:29:52,380 --> 01:29:56,510 Of course, I have no basis for comparison, but 1514 01:29:56,600 --> 01:29:57,890 it was good. 1515 01:29:57,970 --> 01:30:00,310 So you almost made it, huh, Oz? 1516 01:30:00,390 --> 01:30:02,790 I'll just say that we had a great night together. 1517 01:30:02,850 --> 01:30:04,810 Hang in there, buddy. 1518 01:30:04,900 --> 01:30:06,230 You'll get there. 1519 01:30:06,310 --> 01:30:09,360 You know, guys, I think we're falling in love. 1520 01:30:11,740 --> 01:30:13,030 Wow. 1521 01:30:13,110 --> 01:30:15,570 That's great, man. That's awesome. 1522 01:30:16,910 --> 01:30:19,740 You know what the coolest thing is, guys? 1523 01:30:19,830 --> 01:30:22,370 It's this. You know, right now. 1524 01:30:22,450 --> 01:30:25,790 It's true. I mean, after this, everything's gonna be different. 1525 01:30:25,870 --> 01:30:27,630 After getting laid? 1526 01:30:29,090 --> 01:30:30,500 After high school. 1527 01:30:30,590 --> 01:30:32,300 Here's to the next step. 1528 01:30:32,380 --> 01:30:33,380 To the next step. 1529 01:30:33,470 --> 01:30:34,760 To the next step. 1530 01:30:34,840 --> 01:30:36,510 To the next step. 1531 01:30:39,300 --> 01:30:40,600 Do do do Do do do do. 1532 01:30:40,680 --> 01:30:43,100 Do do do Do do do do. 1533 01:30:43,180 --> 01:30:45,520 Do do do Do do do do. 1534 01:30:45,600 --> 01:30:48,020 Do do do Do do do do. 1535 01:30:54,110 --> 01:30:55,950 Chickety China the Chinese chicken. 1536 01:30:56,030 --> 01:30:58,430 You have a drumstick and your brain stops ticking. 1537 01:30:58,450 --> 01:30:59,950 Watching X Files with no lights on. 1538 01:31:00,030 --> 01:31:02,311 We're dans la maison I hope the Smoking Man's in this one. 1539 01:31:02,330 --> 01:31:04,370 Like Harrison Ford I'm getting frantic. 1540 01:31:04,450 --> 01:31:06,790 Like Sting I'm tantric Like Snickers guaranteed to satisfy. 1541 01:31:06,870 --> 01:31:08,710 Like Kurosawa I make mad films. 1542 01:31:08,790 --> 01:31:11,000 Okay, I don't make films but if I did they'd have a samurai. 1543 01:31:11,090 --> 01:31:13,590 Gonna get a set of better clubs gonna find the kind with tiny nubs. 1544 01:31:13,670 --> 01:31:15,380 So my irons aren't always flying off the backswing. 1545 01:31:15,470 --> 01:31:17,300 Gonna get in tune with Sailor Moon 'cause that cartoon. 1546 01:31:17,380 --> 01:31:19,760 Has got the boom anime babes that make me think the wrong thing. 1547 01:31:19,840 --> 01:31:21,800 How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad. 1548 01:31:21,890 --> 01:31:23,860 Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad 1549 01:31:23,860 --> 01:31:25,800 I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral. 1550 01:31:25,800 --> 01:31:26,900 Sweetheart? 1551 01:31:26,910 --> 01:31:28,540 Can't understand what I mean You soon will. 1552 01:31:28,540 --> 01:31:30,390 It's been one week since you looked at me. 1553 01:31:30,410 --> 01:31:32,660 Dropped your arms to the side and said, I'm sorry. 1554 01:31:32,660 --> 01:31:36,420 Hello to your mother your brother significant other 1555 01:31:36,490 --> 01:31:40,990 I am the summertime. 1556 01:31:41,070 --> 01:31:45,330 And I'm here to free your mind. 1557 01:31:46,660 --> 01:31:50,580 Kick off your shoes the blues and use anything but your mind. 1558 01:31:50,670 --> 01:31:55,420 'Cause this is the summertime. 1559 01:31:55,510 --> 01:32:01,180 And it's here to free your mind. 1560 01:32:01,260 --> 01:32:05,970 How many other people can you save today? 1561 01:32:06,060 --> 01:32:10,890 Don't you think it's high time that you sail away? 1562 01:32:10,980 --> 01:32:15,770 Leave today Don't fall behind. 1563 01:32:15,860 --> 01:32:19,950 Try something new Turn into you if only for a short time 1564 01:32:20,030 --> 01:32:24,620 I am the summertime. 1565 01:32:24,700 --> 01:32:29,660 And I'm here to free your mind. 1566 01:32:39,380 --> 01:32:41,840 Love is tragic Love is bold. 1567 01:32:41,930 --> 01:32:45,640 You will always do what you are told. 1568 01:32:49,770 --> 01:32:52,310 Love is hard Love is strong. 1569 01:32:52,400 --> 01:32:55,560 You will never say that you were wrong 1570 01:33:00,200 --> 01:33:02,820 I don't know when I got bitter. 1571 01:33:02,910 --> 01:33:07,490 Love is surely better when it's gone. 1572 01:33:09,290 --> 01:33:11,910 'Cause you wanted more. 1573 01:33:12,000 --> 01:33:14,500 More than I could give. 1574 01:33:14,580 --> 01:33:17,170 More than I could handle. 1575 01:33:17,250 --> 01:33:19,960 And a life that I can't live. 1576 01:33:20,050 --> 01:33:22,510 You wanted more. 1577 01:33:22,590 --> 01:33:25,140 More than I could bear. 1578 01:33:25,220 --> 01:33:27,640 More than I could offer. 1579 01:33:27,720 --> 01:33:31,270 And a love that isn't there. 1580 01:33:42,360 --> 01:33:45,030 Love is color Love is love. 1581 01:33:45,120 --> 01:33:48,200 Love is never saying you're too proud. 1582 01:33:52,830 --> 01:33:55,460 Love is trusting Love is honest. 1583 01:33:55,540 --> 01:33:58,840 Love is not a hand that holds you down 1584 01:34:03,300 --> 01:34:05,880 I don't know when I got bitter. 1585 01:34:05,970 --> 01:34:10,510 Love is surely better when it's gone. 1586 01:34:12,430 --> 01:34:14,940 'Cause you wanted more. 1587 01:34:15,020 --> 01:34:17,560 More than I could give. 1588 01:34:17,650 --> 01:34:20,320 More than I could handle. 1589 01:34:20,400 --> 01:34:22,990 And a life that I can't live. 1590 01:34:23,070 --> 01:34:25,530 You wanted more. 1591 01:34:25,610 --> 01:34:28,240 More than I could bear. 1592 01:34:28,320 --> 01:34:30,830 More than I could offer. 1593 01:34:30,910 --> 01:34:35,120 And a love that isn't there 1594 01:34:37,750 --> 01:34:41,550 I gotta pick me up when I am down 1595 01:34:43,130 --> 01:34:46,680 I gotta get my feet back on the ground 1596 01:34:48,600 --> 01:34:53,640 I gotta pick me up when I am down 1597 01:35:04,280 --> 01:35:06,700 I don't know when I got bitter. 1598 01:35:06,780 --> 01:35:11,370 But love is surely better when it's gone. 1599 01:35:13,240 --> 01:35:15,790 'Cause you wanted more. 1600 01:35:15,870 --> 01:35:18,370 More than I could give. 1601 01:35:18,460 --> 01:35:20,580 More than I could handle. 1602 01:35:20,670 --> 01:35:23,920 And a life that I can't live. 1603 01:35:24,010 --> 01:35:31,010 You wanted more 117324

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