Original subtitles

In the early 21st Century,

the delicate balance of Planet Earth was hanging on by a thread.

Humans were on track to becoming the biggest disappointment

in the past 13 billion years.

Overpopulation, climate change, social media.

You know what I'm talking about.

But come to think of it,

it wouldn't be entirely fair to pin all of this on humanity alone…

In fact, the fate of our universe is governed

by entirely different forces.

THREE YEARS LATER

But people were blissfully unaware of this, of course.

Instead, they did what people do.

They ate, slept, bought stuff, clicked, and went forth and multiplied.

That was weird.

In a good way.

- That's my mother. - Cool.

She obviously isn't my mother. This is a hotel.

Maybe you're so messed up that you carry around a painting of your ugly mother.

- Of my ugly mother and an egg? - Exactly.

Oh, Vanessa. Hi. How's your son?

Uh, great, I'm glad to hear that.

Listen, could I get a Zakarian omelet? And a couple slices of caramelized bacon.

Can you hold for a sec?

Would you like to eat something before you go?

I mean, it kinda looked like you were…

- you were leaving… - Good catch.

Are you sure? It's really good. Hm… You wanna take a look?

I don't eat with people I just met, sorry.

It's too… intimate.

And one cheeseburger with fries and a Sprite, please. Thank you.

And say hi to everyone at home.

Yep, I can read your mind.

You can also grab it to go, if you want.

They put frozen butter in the eggs.

Then they slowly let it melt.

You can only heat it up to eighty degrees, or the fat separates from the water.

What? That's interesting, isn't it?

Good people don't really eat meat anymore, right?

But I guess we're not good people.

Whatever. The world's already falling apart, so…

Have you seen the news? Any moment now we'll be done for anyway.

There's nothing the two of us can do about it.

Mm… That's one way to see it. I guess it depends on what you do all day.

And what do you do all day?

Hmm…

I make sure the world keeps falling apart, y'know?

I'm basically an evil mastermind.

And is that your day job or is it more of a hobby?

- Day job, yeah. - Sounds enjoyable?

Uh, no. Honestly, not really.

I'm actually trying to get rid of that job at the moment.

But it's a family business, so uhm… it's tricky.

But if everything works out, I'll be gone soon.

Good decision.

No offense, but you don't really strike me as an evil mastermind.

You just spent…

9.80 on a small Sprite, you know.

But it was a very, very good Sprite.

Uh… Should I maybe just give you my number?

I mean, it's easier than using the app, you know?

Like…

Only if you're ever in the mood for another cheeseburger

and an overpriced Sprite.

You know, as we get familiar, our uh… our body releases oxytocin,

which is a bonding hormone.

And I'm actually trying to break any bonds right now, so…

In general. Nothing personal, I promise.

Besides, we're in a similar situation.

I'll be leaving soon, I'll go to college, study Medicine…

I mean, if the world doesn't come to an end before I do.

Bye.

Pauli, call me as you get out. Mike and I are worried.

By the way, just to make one thing clear.

When I said you needed to get close to someone again,

I didn't mean random hook-ups on the other side of town.

But I still want to know all about it.

Well, it was… it was I dunno… okay.

Nothing special.

SUNNYSIDE

Here you are.

NEWSSTAND INTERNATIONAL

Hi, kitty! Why are you looking at me like that?

Tell the dog "hi". This ain't a passport photo, smile!

The chances of falling victim to violent crime is a lot higher.

SUNNYSIDE

If this is what they say, there's not much we can do.

That's just the way the world is.

Oh, Pauli, we can always do something.

"Be the change you want to see in the world."

We just gotta face our demons first. Nighty.

What a shame.

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO DELETE YOUR MATCH WITH LUKAS?

YES, DELETE MATCH

What's the matter?

Move. Wake up!

FOUR WEEKS LATER

A hammer drill… The best alarm clock.

Nothing left, sorry.

Nothing there either.

Can't wait for you to go to college.

- Not true. - Yes it is.

- It's not. - Yes, it is.

It's not.

Okay, it's not.

Any news about the scholarship?

Yep. Miss Fischer will give me the confirmation today.

I'm so happy that you get to live the life you want.

Somehow, I've always lived for other people.

That was good too, but you know what I mean, right?

But you can also do what you want.

You don't have to stay in this hellhole forever just because Dad never left.

Besides, he'd want you to be happy.

Who says I'm not unhappy?

Happiness doesn't come from the outside, it grows within us.

You okay?

- Did something happen? - No.

Something's wrong.

Ever since I tried Ayahuasca with Remy, I can sense such things.

You know that, don't you?

- I'm on my period. - Really? Me too.

Menstruation buddies?

See? I knew something was wrong.

Moms can always tell.

Make a donation now, support Sunnyside.

Those who are willing to give much will receive much in return.

You could at least take a flyer.

Y'know, sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who still cares.

- Hi, Tony. - Hi.

- You okay? - Yeah, I'm good.

Don't be nervous about this, you're the strongest woman I've ever met.

And remember, I've met Lady Gaga, so…

Well, she would definitely support my petition for unisex toilets, I think.

Did you know that she refuses to wear pants?

Are you sure?

Are you really doing okay? Hi.

Yes, I am.

You're looking a little… sickly.

I mean, not really. Uh… Everything's gonna be great.

- Hey guys, have a flyer. - Don't worry.

Sometimes I feel Miss Fischer's white savior complex

is the only thing I can always count on.

Yeah. That's right. Spot on.

So, the scholarship is safe.

The scholarship is safe.

Yes?

Bad news. It turns out, there are several candidates for the scholarship now.

- Wha… Candidates? Who else? - Well, actually, it's just Britta.

Miss Sokolow nominated her at the last minute.

Britta's grandmother passed away unexpectedly last month.

This poor girl is all alone in the world.

I'm sure you can relate to that a little bit.

And what does that mean exactly?

Well, I believe she'll be staying with those uh… Sunnyside people.

No, not for Britta. I was asking what this means for me.

I need this scholarship.

I have a clear idea of what my future should look like, but without it…

Over the last weeks, I got the impression that you weren't fully committed.

- Your personal statement, for example. - What's wrong with it?

"Where do you see yourself in 10 years?"

This is what you wrote, "In a small cabin in the woods."

Why do you want to go to med school?

There has to be a reason why you want to help people.

I don't know. I thought that it might…

it might be useful to know how to remove my appendix.

Pauline, this scholarship is for people who want to give back to our society,

who want to make the world a better place.

And don't just think about themselves. You must…

I don't know. When people read this, they need to get the impression

that you deserve this scholarship more than anyone else.

And Britta's statement achieves that. I'll give you another chance.

You should probably write a bit more about…

your background,

your circumstances, the specific challenges.

Well, you know. Right? That's what people want to hear.

I'll try to write something else, good idea.

Do you feel sick?

Here. Britta made them. Come on, take one.

Write a new personal statement,

and soon enough we can hang your picture.

My beautiful diverse bunch.

Where did your mother come from again? Mention that in your application.

Pauline, we weren't finished yet.

Oh, Pauline. Are you okay?

- Wait, let me help you. - I'm fine, Britta.

Wait, let me help you.

Did you catch that?

It says here that ginger helps if you're feeling nauseous.

I still have my shot. Do you want it?

Oh, wait… there's turmeric in it too, so…

I'm not sure if that's a good idea.

- Cool shirt. - Thanks.

I love it when people take a stand,

even if it's just a T-shirt.

Have you ever noticed that Laura never washes her hands?

Should I tell her, or would that be like shaming her or something?

Are you okay in there? Pauli?

I'm feeling better.

Lukas, your one-night stand?

If I'd known, I wouldn't have made you go on that date.

Come on, these tests aren't that reliable.

There are lots of different reasons for hormone level change in urine.

- Maybe I have cervical cancer. - Pauli!

Relax. I already have plans to see a doctor.

So don't worry.

Okay, I'm coming. I insist.

Okay.

Did you uh… I mean… talk to him again or anything?

No! I'm not pregnant, Tony, okay?

And I wouldn't have to tell him if I were.

It was a one-night stand.

He doesn't care about me, and I don't care about him.

That's how it goes.

And besides, he's an idiot.

Hmm…

What're you… Wait, don't!

A corpus luteum cyst. Obviously.

Hmm… Not, that's not a cyst.

You didn't do a laparoscopy yet, so you don't know for sure.

I looked it up on the Internet.

It's a simple procedure, you can just use local anesthesia and cut it out.

Hum, no. You're pregnant.

Congratulations, Miss Alceste.

You're making a mistake.

- Me? - Yes.

Well, if anyone here made a mistake, young lady, I think it was probably you.

And you did it… almost exactly eight weeks ago.

I use condoms. Always.

My mother had me when she was 17. I'm a walking condom ad.

That's not always enough.

- You know, even if… - And I'm on the pill.

My esteemed colleague, you must take it regular…

I understand how contraception works.

It doesn't make sense. It was four weeks…

Huh?

What?

Nothing.

Okay, so, if you're considering having an abortion,

you should do it within the next few weeks or so.

INFORMATION SHEET FOR WOMEN IN CASE OF UNWANTED PREGNANCY

So how are you coping with all of this?

This situation is biological not emotional.

Okay, so… uh… biologically…

- are you gonna… - Get rid of it. Yeah.

Okay.

But I'm staying with you until then.

It's kind of my fault too.

Could we walk faster? My shift is about to start,

- The train leaves in four minutes. - Sure.

Sorry.

Hello, babe.

How are ya? No, I'm with Pauli.

Are you out shopping with my mother? What? No way. Put her on.

Mom, just because it's organic beef,

that doesn't mean that the cow didn't emit loads of CO2

before it ended as a carcass.

Why are we even switching to solar if you don't give a damn about…

Hey.

Weren't you leaving town?

Weren't you leaving, too?

I had to do something important about my successor.

Evil mastermind, you know?

Okay.

Is there something wrong, or…?

Anyway, it's nice to see you again. I mean…

you suddenly disappeared from the app.

Hi, I'm Tony. Can you leave Pauline alone now?

- Who are you anyway? - I'm a friend of Pauline's.

- I'd know if you were. - Lukas.

Lukas?

Well, Pauline and I, we were about to leave. Yeah.

And… do you guys have plans?

- We're… - Leaving.

- Yes. - Yes.

I'm hosting a little… dinner tonight. If you guys… you should come by.

Of course, only if your uh… bonding hormones aren't against it.

Okay. Well, I uh… I should get going too. Um…

I gotta get back to work, so I won't need to work again.

Right, good to see you. Uh… Ciao.

Good job, guys.

Okay, now I know what you mean. He's really weird.

It's quite a trek from the archive to this place. Yep.

So? What's the word?

Ah yes, sir. You asked me to look into something for you earlier.

Tammo, I've told you before, come on, forget this hierarchy shit.

Just call me Lukas.

I've told you that, um… it'd feel wrong, so I'm just gonna keep on calling you sir.

- All right. So how much longer? - Hmm…

In theory, if we had the dagger now,

and if by a miracle there were still traces

of Samuel's remains on it…

Fifteen days.

- Fifteen days? - Yeah.

- Crazy. - Uh…

Hmm…

Why do you wanna know, boss? If you don't mind me asking.

- Because. - "Because"?

- Mm-hmm. Because. - Okay. Um…

Back in the day, I had warned your predecessor,

I strongly advise against you doing anything rash

which might upset the fragile equilibrium of our system. Um…

Is… Is that…?

And order some more sherbet UFOs, but not too many.

Five boxes, or 10 at most. Okay?

- Is that it? - Mm-hmm.

- Are you sure? - Mm-hmm.

Do you see that girl over there?

The one with the casts? She used to steal too.

Now she'll never regain full use of her arms.

You're good.

And stay a good boy, okay?

Mm-hmm.

Carla asked me to model for one of her paintings!

You? That's crazy.

Hey, are you feeling better?

You looked awful earlier.

I heard you're also applying for the scholarship. That's good!

So we're basically rivals now.

- Crazy, isn't it? - Yeah. Crazy.

I hope it was okay that I posted that video of you.

I'm doing something this week with my followers,

"Love Your Neighbor Week".

Okay, cool.

I kept wondering if the video would give Miss Fischer

a bad impression of you

because you clearly didn't seem well.

But on the other hand, nobody's perfect.

Right?

Okay, back to studying I guess.

Wait, let me help you.

Fucking Britshine!

I got the impression… You didn't seem well.

If anyone has made a mistake… The one-night stand.

Oh, shit.

- Bye, Pauline. - See you tomorrow.

What if I canceled with Mike and you came over to write your statement?

I could give you a gummy bear after every comma.

Or we'll bake something nice for Miss Fischer. Full on Britta-style.

Thanks, Tony. You're sweet.

But I just have to finish writing that stupid thing.

And I'll have to face my demons first.

Oh!

Look, Goblin. Your kitty is back!

Let's play fetch! Go and get her!

Goblin, come here.

Good day, huh?

SUNNYSIDE

It's not a good day without a good deed.

Line, guess who came to the store a couple of days ago.

Quentin Tarantino.

Hollywood director Quentin Tarantino came to the store?

Yeah. Although, do you know if he speaks German? 'Cause…

Maybe it wasn't Quentin Tarantino.

Hey, Mom. Do you have a minute?

Sure. What's up?

Could we talk somewhere else?

Preferably without the naked man in the room.

Hey, come on… Remy is family. So what's up?

Umm… I wanted to talk to you about something.

Today I went… Where did you get that?

Haven't I told you to stay away from those guys? Uh…

- Did they try to talk to you? - No.

No, I found it outside.

They are evil. They didn't leave your father alone.

I know. But can we talk about something else for a minute?

Eira's the creepiest. If she messes with you, I…

You're the one staying here next door to that creepy do-gooder.

- I like it here. - Nice and quiet, right?

Let's not fight, okay?

I'm just a little tired today.

You know what day it is tomorrow.

What did you want to talk to me about? You know, before I lost my composure.

Sorry. May I get a coffee? I'm feeling a bit cold after all.

Why even ask? You know where everything is.

Yes, but I just wanted to be polite.

Here.

- Love you, my little Rocket. - Me too.

Chandelier.

Hi there.

Ugh, Papa!

Whoo! Whoo!

- Yes? - Pauline Alceste for 7C.

I guess I do need some peace and quiet.

Is it Pauli?

- If you want some alone time, I… - We were making dinner.

- I was making dinner. - Mike is right. Come in.

Mom, Pauli is joining us.

Great. I haven't seen her in ages.

- This is made with vegan cheese. - "Cheese"…

- Honey, how are you? - Leave Pauli alone.

She'll just grab a bite then do her homework.

I'm asking because she looks stressed.

There's construction happening at her place.

And no one knows what they're doing.

Everyone will move out eventually.

Gentrification is getting worse.

No offense, but we're the problem.

- No! - We have a sauna in our garden.

And was it you or me who went for three eucalyptus steam sessions?

- My back was killing me. - Could we finish eating?

Before we decide who'd be shot first if there was suddenly a revolution?

Are you all right, honey? You know you can talk to us about anything.

Mom. Pauli said she's fine, so…

I'm just saying, she looks a little tired today, is all.

- You look tired. - Why are you being so aggressive?

I'm not being aggressive.

I just wanted to let Pauline know

we'll always be there for her no matter what.

Tony and I ran into the man who got me pregnant today.

It's a good thing that you didn't tell this Lukas guy,

especially since you hardly know him.

Who knows what kind of a guy he is.

I can take care of the rest, if you wanna get to your homework.

I really should get to my school work, so…

I, uh, had an abortion when I was 17.

It was an extremely difficult decision.

But at the end of the day, it was the right thing to do.

And wanting to live your life without restraint, the way you want to,

doesn't make you a bad person.

Yeah, I'll get to that homework.

Do you still have to go through all that counseling nonsense?

Maybe I should tag along for yours.

And if anyone is a jerk to you, we will call my law firm on them.

- No. It's okay, really. - Don't argue.

I'm setting you up in the guest bed.

I hope you like satin.

Sorry, Tony, I just needed a quick break.

No offense.

Information on bus B17 heading to Urvil West.

This service is canceled. We apologize for the inconvenience.

Oh, fuck.

Let me say a few words.

I'm glad you're all here and I hope it's a pleasant evening.

Enjoy the food. And uh… yeah. Cheers!

- Cheers! - Cheers!

Hey.

Uh… Hey. I didn't think you'd come.

Don't get your hopes up.

My life's kind of out of control right now.

- Do you want to talk about it? - Nope.

I don't even know if I can trust you yet.

Evil mastermind, remember?

Fair enough.

Would you like a drink?

Wait. Don't tell me.

Vodka?

Vodka Tonic?

Huh… I guess you're not a mind reader, are ya?

Guess not.

Oh, well.

Just checking: This isn't the kinda party where I need a safe word, right?

No, no, no. It's not. Nah. It's…

It's more like a farewell party.

I told you I'm not too happy with my job.

- Hmm. - Yeah.

Looks like I'm about to be unemployed.

Congratulations.

I remembered.

Mmm…

What?

Has anyone ever told you that you're really weird?

Why would I be…? You're weird!

I'll be honest.

You're so different.

Seriously, you… you're uh… I don't know what you are.

My mouth is still full.

You didn't wanna kiss me, huh?

I mean, s-sorry if I misinterpreted that.

Because well, you leaned over, and uh… I don't know, it looked like you…

You were out partying, weren't ya?

Come on, we're all alone now.

We could party together if you're up for it, huh?

Come to Papa, come here.

What the fuck?

Hey, wait a second!

Go, go get her!

You can't run forever!

Goblin, what are you doing? Hey!

Goblin! What are you doing?

3RD ANNIVERSARY OF DAD'S DEATH

Hey, Dad?

Dad, say something! Daddy!

Try to stay calm. Have you attempted CPR?

Translated by: Francesca Villa