Original subtitles

Hello, would you like some oil on yourself?

Sure.

Can I take these?

Uh-hmm, help yourself.

- Where did this come from?

- What are you talking about?

- This funny box?

Wonder who...

I can't see!

- Medical Center. - Emergency!

Commander!

Medical emergency in the Recreation Center!

- Recreation Center report!

I can't see!

- Come on Karen you'll be all right, let me see, come on.

You've got some head abrasions, shock, blindness.

- She just picked that thing up.

What happened?

- It's just a small glowing object.

She picked it up. - Make sure nobody

touches it, I'll get security on it right away!

All Alpha personnel!

Report immediately any object of unfamiliar appearance!

Objects found have been small and multicolored,

and may be glowing.

Do not touch!

Report at once, repeat, do not touch!

The abrasions are

superficial, the blindness seems temporary.

- Science Lab computer says they're not weapons,

I don't understand how they got through

the security system, it just doesn't make...

Ahoy there, permission to land!

- Identify yourself.

Ahoy, Alpha, permission to land!

Can you hear me?

- Anything on your screen Maya?

Screen clear!

Ahoy, Alpha!

- Permission to land refused!

Alert all security guards, I want Eagles on the

pad ready for immediate lift-off!

Hold it, hold it, I come in peace!

Don't go setting off with the Eagles to fly on my account!

- I said identify yourself!

Coming, ready or not!

- The name of your ship?

Who are you?

- Taybor's the name.

Taybor's the name, trading's my game.

Master of the SS Emporium.

Greetings, friends!

Rather ominous and lethal appearing, isn't it?

But it's harmless as an infant's rag doll,

I will assure you.

No fears!

A mere illusion!

I myself am quite unarmed, as you can see!

But uh, weapon-like instruments of any kind

do tend to rattle my nerves, so if you would...

- You didn't identify yourself,

and sudden appearances make us nervous.

- But uh, I have been scanning you for some little time,

so I, knew it was apparently safe for me to come aboard.

There, now I truly am among friends.

You know from my scanning observations,

I would say that you are Commander Koenig,

the Skipper of this trusty moon, yeah,

and the charming Dr. Russell.

Mr. Verdeschi, your security really is splendid.

And you, you must be the one who goes by the name of Maya.

Such a beauty is food to intoxicate the soul.

- Where did you come from? - Just now?

I've been trading my wares at the

three-world fair on Assard.

Or, do you mean, where do I come from?

My native soil?

Soil did I say?

Dust is more the truth of it if you know Pinvus the Lesser.

- Pinvus? - 68 parsecs,

from the notorious frontier world of Shamalot,

on the Inner Vessical route.

You may well wonder my humble origins

and how a lad from Pinvus the Lesser,

has dragged himself 200,000 parsecs from the

wrong side of the dusty world,

on the wrong side of the wrong galaxy

of the wrong universe, to haul himself

up by the graviton straps so to speak!

And uh, to venture forth, in search of beauty,

beautiful things, beautiful people.

I've made it my special trade, among other items of course!

My credentials sir!

Had my trader's license renewed,

it's valid anywhere in the entire solar system

for the next four years.

But enough gossip about myself.

I surely hope my little gifts announced my

honest intentions preceding my coming aboard.

- Gifts?

Your gifts have put one of my technicians into a

catatonic trance, and badly burned

and nearly blinded a young hydroponic assistant!

- But Skipper believe me, only a baby

could mishandle those simple toys!

Oh, I see I, I presumed too much

on the intelligence of your people.

Letting children play with fire.

But the instructions were quite clearly color coded,

the coding was supposed to be idiot proof, I...

Is your race color blind by any chance?

- No. - Doctor, if there's

anything I can do, I have excellent medicines

that do wonders for all kinds of complaints!

- Well then, yes, the burns are healing,

but we can't diagnose the trance

caused by the cylindrical object.

- The memory amplifier? - One of our technicians

picked it up... - Picked it up?

It's a harmless memory aid,

but you're only supposed to touch it.

Oh, you can recall a forgotten number,

or where you put something for safe keeping

if you can't remember where, holding it?

I'd say your technician will be in a trance

state for about 12 hours at all.

- A treatment? - Treatment?

Your technician is blissfully happy recalling

forgotten childhood memories!

It would be quite harmful to disturb him.

Especially if he has an eye for beauty!

Does your species of humanoid require

food and drink for sustenance?

- We do. - Then I beg you to

extend the hospitality of your table

to this space-worn traveler!

I'm starving!

- I'm sorry I, I imagined on your ship...

Hard tack, deep space rations,

all very well but satisfaction of fine food, and drink...

Trusting your food is edible,

makes bargaining a pleasure, don't you agree?

Nectar Mr. Verdeschi, pure nectar!

Best meal I've had since the Rainbow Room at

the Astard, that merited two starbursts

from the Gourmet's Guide to the Galaxy!

You uh, brew the hops yourself, Mr. Verdeschi?

- Yes that's a hobby of mine,

I'm getting closer to perfecting it all the time.

That, well on a scale of one to 10

I'd give it six for potency and three for flavor.

Well I'm glad you like it,

some people don't appreciate it.

- Who me? - Uh-hmm.

- Well it's my doctor.

- Oh.

- Oh well of course medically speaking,

I would have to label it unfit for human consumption.

Well, much as I hesitate to

disagree with two such beautiful ladies,

your beer is a delight to the palate.

- Mr. Taybor.

Taybor, just Taybor, Skipper.

- Taybor, if we could get down to discussing...

- Trade?

I'm always ready to discuss trade.

I'm interested in this ale of yours, for instance.

The sign of friendship

on my planet Maya.

- Now we're friends.

- Yes...

Well ah, Skipper, what exchange interests you?

- Well first I'm curious about one thing.

How did your ship appear so suddenly without

our sensors or scanners picking it up?

- Your tracking devices cannot penetrate hyperspace.

- Hyperspace?

Where is hyperspace?

Everywhere, but in space!

- What drives your ship?

- My old tub?

It's just a normal jump drive, intergalactic!

- Jump drive? - You know Skipper,

switch on, set direction coordination in hyperspace,

and oh, have to let the old girl

warm up a bit nowadays , and then jump!

Anywhere in the universe in a minute!

- Anywhere?

Could we build this jump drive?

Could you explain how it works?

I don't know how it works,

I am Tray-bor the Trader, not a mechanic.

As long as the old girl takes me where I want her to go!

- Surely you have a drive manual,

diagrams that explain all the parts and how they work?

- Diagrams?

Diagrams?

Taybor, sell, diagrams, for-for people,

you, you,

can't even manage a child's toy!

- He's drunk as a trader.

He won't be able to answer any more questions

until he sleeps it off.

He knows more about that ship's drive

than he's telling us.

- Most people can do a lot of things,

operate a computer for instance

without the slightest idea of how it works.

- That ship is intergalactic.

If I could trade for the plans to that jump drive

and get us all home, or at least

to some habitable planet, I'd give the Earth.

- You can only give him the moon John.

- Now Alpha is just primitive junk to him.

What have we got that he wants?

- You have a suspicious nature, Tony!

- Well anybody who likes me beer is somebody

who can't be trusted, right?

- Right. - Ah...

My dear friends.

Not much to look at is she,

but after all, she's just a cargo ship.

- Could she carry human cargo?

- To where?

- A habitable planet.

In your travels you must have come across some

planet that's compatible with our needs.

- Well I, I've docked at many a space port of course,

Skipper, and while they all have their share

of goods to offer, there's none that would suit you.

- Could you take us on an exploratory trip?

Let us check out the planets you think are most habitable,

and let us decide for ourselves?

- Hmm, in hyperspace with jump drive,

I can take you anywhere.

- What about Earth?

Can you get us to Earth?

- Earth...

Yes, I suppose so.

- Earth?

He could take us home!

- You, my lovely bird.

You share Dr. Russel's joy at the

prospect of going home, enough to grant me

some small token of that joy?

- My home is the planet Zygon.

- Zygon?

Yeah I, I bypassed it once, I didn't stop,

the mist was too murky,

very poor visibility for landing.

I can take you there,

after we drop the others off.

- It no longer exists.

- Ah...

Well now Skipper, what's in all this for me?

- Draw up the contract for one moon,

its fixtures, fittings, space craft,

libraries, machines, it's all yours.

Are you the rightful owner of this moon, ?

- Well I guess, yes.

- You guess?

Well how can you guarantee that I won't find you've

landed me with a pack of whole-worlders

disputing your claim of possession,

with outstanding liens and mortgages on the property?

- Get us back, it's all yours!

- You haven't by any chance, been sent away, have you?

- What do you mean?

- For all I know this could be a penal colony.

- No this isn't a penal colony, but maybe we

should put you in the brig for causing injury

to a couple of our people with your little playthings!

- Tony!

- Well... - My apologies Skipper,

I'm sorry I,

well you meet some strange types in space,

I guess I got carried away by over-precautions.

Of course you're, you're all good people I-I,

well I, I'm sorry.

Could I doubt, ladies of such beauty and distinction?

Beauty, unequaled on 1000 planets.

So you want to return to your Earth.

Uh, this galaxy?

- No, galaxy M104.

Hmm.

Ah, 104.

Can't say I recall it exactly, it's interesting though,

it's the first intergalactic moon I've come across.

- I can't explain it, there have been space warps...

- Ah, the little doors into hyperspace,

so you do jump!

Now let me find this M104 of yours on my charts.

Which quadrant?

- Well it's halfway between PKS114800, and 3C454.

- Hmm, can't say that rings a bell either.

Which universal quadrant?

- It's a spiral galaxy, it's right near NGC185

and uh, M33, it's a small cluster of 30 or so...

- You do know the quadrant, don't you Skipper?

- Well I can screen a general diagram

I'm sure you can match it up with your charts.

- General diagram?

Match up, it doesn't work that way,

if you can't tell me the quadrant you can't

give me the routing angle can you?

- No. - Or the subcluster

or the spindrift?

Well I'm sorry.

I just can't, fix coordinates!

- At least where are we now?

- That's where you are.

Ah, it's a big universe.

A lonely place to wander in.

Oh come on, let me cheer you up.

Come aboard the SS Emporium, and see what you fancy.

- Thank you Taybor.

- John.

Do you think it's a good idea to go aboard his ship?

- I want that jump drive. - Yeah I know,

but he might have ideas about jump driving

us out into space, and then taking over Alpha.

- Tony, I've already offered him Moonbase Alpha.

He's turned it down.

All right Taybor, let's go.

- Oh splendid Skipper, come!

Allow me to pipe you aboard.

My home, the old emporium.

Registered in Canton Red for tax purposes.

- Like an art gallery. - Without beauty surrounding

him, a man's soul corrodes into dust.

Do you know how many years, how much effort,

to accumulate this incomparable collection?

- Taybor, if we can adapt your drive

to our Eagles, we'd have a chance.

You show me how it works and I'll trade you

anything, anything we've got.

- There you are Skipper, the jump drive.

I honestly do not

understand it myself.

That terrifying jumble is cast in one piece

with no moving parts.

- How do you start it? - When you switch that on,

something happens to all this I suppose,

once activated it sets up some sort of chain reaction.

If we come to terms, I'll let you study it.

But all you'll get is a headache, I can assure you.

- And that jumps you into hyperspace?

- I never did understand.

But let me show you the most beautiful sight in creation!

- Tony!

John, do you read me?

Come in John!

- What's he up to?

- Taybor the Trader!

Well? - Scanner's clear Tony.

They must be in hyperspace.

- Security, get Fraser and MacDougal

on the surface on the double,

check out the entire area where that alien ship landed!

Yes sir.

- What does he want with John, ransom?

- No that wouldn't make sense,

he could have taken anybody he wanted, any time.

- Eagle One to Command Center!

Empty space out here no sign of anything!

- Search patterns, everything in the book!

Maya you know about hyperspace, where is that ship?

- I don't know Tony, it could be a

million light years away, there's no way of figuring!

- Well if you can't figure then guess!

Beautiful isn't it?

The unending totality of hyperspace.

It never ceases to move me deeply.

- How can this ship register hyperspace?

- We're not just registering it, we are there!

- You've left Alpha? - You too Skipper!

No, no, we haven't left Alpha.

Koenig to Alpha!

Koenig to Alpha, come in Alpha!

That won't work out here my friend!

- Out here, what do you mean out here,

you just said you haven't left Alpha!

- We haven't, space has!

The old Emporium is positioned exactly where she was

on your moon, not budged one inch,

but we have shifted from common or garden

continuum space to this dimension!

Eh, more of a non-dimension to be precise!

- Put me through to my command center.

- I can't, with the shift on stasis

and the jump drive not warmed up!

- You were able to teleport before,

yourself and your gadgets!

- Yeah, the drive was still warm after the jump!

I thought you said you wanted to get away from Alpha?

- Where are you taking me Taybor?

- To the zoo, where you belong!

Or better still, the slave market on Shayminol!

- No games Taybor!

Get me back.

- Aha, that was a joke, Skipper!

- Right now I don't have much

of a sense of humor!

What, it's a little joke!

Do you actually think you're on your way

to a zoo, you actually take me seriously, the zoo?

The slave market?

- All right Taybor, I enjoyed seeing hyperspace

and I thought your joke was very funny.

Now do we get down to discussing trade

for that jump drive, or do you just get me back to Alpha?

- Both Skipper, both I promise you!

Now look, the old drive is warmed up.

Of course we could still sneak off

and have a couple of quick drinks on Aon Five,

there, there, I'm only kidding, Skipper!

I can't resist it!

Estimated time of arrival,

30 seconds!

- Alpha, do you read me?

- John, where are you?

- ETA 30 seconds!

- Where? - Same place as before.

- Fraser, MacDougal, get the hell out of there!

- What? - Step on it, clear that area!

What's the panic Alpha?

- If you want to stay alive get the hell

out of there and make it fast!

Faster!

There all clear, well done!

Okay Eagles return to base.

- Satisfied?

- Taybor,

just what is it you want in trade?

Maya, Skipper.

Maya.

Think of her amidst all this beauty Skipper.

Think of this beauty, enhanced by her essence.

- No Taybor, the answer is still no.

- You want the jump drive, Skipper?

- Taybor, Maya is not mine to give away.

- Pity.

Those are my terms, Maya for the jump drive.

- No deal.

- You don't value your return to Earth as much as I thought.

- Taybor anything, anything else on Alpha.

- Well, that seems to put an end

to our discussion, doesn't it?

Alone, alone,

all alone,

alone on a wide, wide sea.

But you wouldn't know about that would you Skipper?

Being alone?

Loneliness.

- Taybor, what if it didn't have to be that way?

What if I did give Maya to you?

- Skipper, you mean that?

- A duplicate Maya, an exact likeness.

A perfect image, to travel with you

everywhere you go in the universe.

Able to talk to you in her voice, in Maya's voice?

Just think, you'd never be alone again,

you'd always have Maya with you.

What's more she'd never

grow old, she'd always be beautiful Taybor!

Always be beautiful, never grow old!

- Oh, Skipper, you're sidling up

to Taybor's table.

If she'll be as you say, it's a deal.

Ah, a bit more of a, a smile on her face.

Ah, lovely.

Uh, uh, uh Dr. Russell, could she have, a little more

of a wide-eyed expression?

- How's that?

- Ah, perfect, absolutely perfect!

Are you really my beauty?

- Yes, Taybor.

- Ahoy there, Skipper!

- Well Taybor? - She's beyond perfection,

as if she's been aboard forever!

A creature of beauty to bring cheer and warmth

into the life of this lonely wanderer!

- A waxwork dummy with a computer voice?

He's not right in the head!

- He's too all right in the head.

Then you accept Taybor?

- I accept Skipper!

The jump drive is yours,

but it's gonna take you some little time

to decipher the master diagram.

Meanwhile, you can concentrate on the

more rudimentary elements.

Call it a pre-orientation before you get

to the brain bubbling parts!

You should be receiving it now!

- Got it Taybor.

Thanks.

For the diagram.

Oh by the way, everyone on Alpha's very anxious

to trade wares with you!

- Delighted.

- In the Recreation Center then, one hour.

Mr. Verdeschi and Maya will assist you.

I'll join you later.

I'll be waiting Skipper.

- You know John there's a little man

running around inside my head that says

that you trust him even less than I do, if that's possible.

- It's possible.

- I shall take you to the ends of the universe my flower,

to sights unseen, except by these eyes of mine.

There's one planet far beyond the beaten stars,

a paradise, you will love it.

- I will love it, Taybor.

- That's what I like to hear.

Come, come dear people, don't be bashful!

What am I traded for this only one of its kind, silver ball?

I shall repeat again, it will bring you

sunshine where there is no sunshine,

or if you turn it a degree,

it will bring you soft trade winds from the

sands of the planet Med!

Where the sound of gentle waters,

rolling upon the sands!

It'll lull you in peace as

though it were a symphony,

as though the music of the universe were being

piped into your ears!

Or this, a mirror, ladies and gentlemen,

from the mystics high in the mountains of the planet Shand!

Look into this mirror, and see your former images

come to life again, renew your youth, see your loved ones!

What am I traded for this priceless item?

- The silver ball for my bonsai tree!

Done!

- This pure hand loomed wool sweater for the mirror!

Done!

- The silver ball and the mirror for this ship in a bottle.

Took me three years to make it.

Done.

Oh dear Dr. Russell, one precious moment!

Patience my friends!

I wanted to thank you for the creation of

my lovely Miss Maya.

A small token of my appreciation.

It is,

essence of the planet Hermosia,

gathered from hyperspace by robot ships

while its sun was going nova.

It's aptly named, Infidelity,

considering the sudden disappearance of its life-giving orb!

- That's very very kind of you but...

- Say no more!

It is my gift, I insist.

Try it at once, for me.

- All right, I'll try it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Well my dear Alphans, I'm afraid that is

the last of my wares!

Aww!

- Uh, uh, oh, the last,

you have stripped me bare!

However, I will see what I can rummage up

when I get back to my ship!

I thank you all for the honor of

being able to trade with you!

I'll take them on Maya,

we'd better get back to Command Center.

- Hmm. - Taybor, I'm sure

the commander will be in touch with you.

- I'm sure.

I can compute all the figures

if you want, Taybor.

- That won't be necessary my dear Miss Maya.

I could not leave, without presenting you,

with a small momento.

Oh it's beautiful.

- Not so beautiful as you.

From the rocks on the ice caves of the planet

of north iridescence.

My eternal gratitude for your patience,

in helping to bring the image of your beauty into my life.

- Oh I must show it to Helena.

- Allow me to accompany you.

No objections, Mr. Verdeschi.

- All right well, I'll see you in Command Center.

Who is she?

- You don't know who she is?

- Never saw her before in my life.

What are those?

- Collections, my jewel,

a priceless richness, for the gratification

of those who can appreciate true beauty.

- We are leaving? - Soon, soon,

but I promised the Skipper that I would be waiting for him,

and I always keep my promise, for we must say, goodbye.

- Taybor's trading session over?

- Yeah, the man does put on a good sideshow

I've got to admit that.

- Where's Maya?

- Oh, she stopped off at Helena's,

wanted to show her a going away present from Taybor.

- Helena? - Come in John.

- Helena, I...

- The fragrance of this perfume is beautiful, isn't it?

- It's out of this world.

- Mmm, out of this world... - Where'd you get it?

- Don't ask questions, just, talk to me.

Make me laugh, flatter me.

- It's beautiful and suave... - Oh it's beautiful,

and the wonderful thing about Taybor's perfume,

is it makes you feel like doing,

whatever you want to do, whenever you want to do it.

And the moon can just

keep rolling by...

- Taybor's perfume, wait a minute...

It's not right. - It's beautiful...

- Something's not right... - Oh it's right John.

- No, Taybor's perfume... - Mmm...

- Helena, it distorts the mind!

Be free John, float in space!

- Taybor's tricked us, listen to me Helena!

Helena listen, we've been tricked!

We've been tricked! - Tricked, no...

- You all right?

- Y-Yeah, I'm all right.

- Relax, relax.

We shall be leaving soon.

- Leaving soon.

- Yasko, link me up with Taybor's ship.

- You've never been unlinked Skipper!

I just couldn't depart without saying goodbye!

I must say, you Alphans

are children when it comes to trading!

- We've kept our end of the bargain Taybor!

Give Maya back!

- Give her back?

Well I wouldn't want you wandering around the universe

saying that Taybor the Trader was dishonest.

Can't afford to have my license revoked.

So you shall have your Maya back.

Did you, did you think I'd settle for a copy, Skipper?

I, I only collect originals!

Send me back Taybor!

- Now now Miss Maya...

I'm willing to marry you,

if being a bride is what you wish.

- They moved into hyperspace, Commander!

- Yasko, scan the area where Taybor's ship was standing.

There sir.

Nothing.

Okay. - What do you mean okay?

- We will travel the galaxies together,

tasting of their wonders!

I want to go back

to Alpha! - Not only is your beauty

breathtaking, but you have the spirit of a

wild, untamed beast!

- You don't knowhow wild Taybor!

- A transmorph!

You never told me that my beauty was a transmorph!

Now that wasn't very honest of you Skipper!

- You never asked! - Goodbye Skipper!

- Wait! - Taybor the Trader,

has completed his transaction.

The best to date!

- They're in hyperspace, we'll never get her back!

- I think we will.

I planted a limpet transmitter on Taybor's spaceship.

- It means we have contact with hyperspace?

- Exactly.

Yasko, open up channel D four!

Yes sir.

- You'll come to love it out here one day, my pretty.

- Send me back!

- What, lose my most beautiful possession?

We're in hyperspace, there is no way you can return.

Alpha cannot even contact us.

Frequency open, Commander.

- Maya, we have a limpet transmitter

attached to Taybor's spaceship.

We know you're in hyperspace and there's

no way we can get you back.

Remember, Tabor surrounds himself with things

of beauty, that's why you're there.

Please try to understand.

Try to understand.

- Mmm, it seems the Skipper is

more perceptive than I thought.

- Yes, I understand.

You wanted no longer to be lonely Taybor.

You wanted companionship.

- Yes, my beauty, yes.

- Then you shall have it, Taybor,

my love.

- No!

No!

Please, you can't do this to me!

You can't be the one to desecrate the beauty

of all I've given my life to gather!

Please, change!

- I have locked myself in this form,

and I will stay with you forever!

- You foolish metamorph!

I'm giving you the opportunity to be

surrounded by beauty forever!

- Taybor, you know everything about hyperspace,

but you know nothing about inner-space!

I will be the judge of where I want to be,

and I want to be back on Alpha!

- Please change, change back again!

You've got to stay with me!

I'll make you stay with me!

- All right Taybor, I will stay with you.

It will be your pleasure to look at me in this form,

a female reflection of yourself, forever!

- Forever...

Forever...

Maya!

- Maya! - Maya!

- Are you all right? - Are you all right?

It's really you is it?

Thank you Commander,

you were right, he only wanted beautiful things around him!

- Well, it's lucky you don't qualify.

That's not nice!

You know, I could have had a hairdo at the Astra on Azon.

- You could have?

- If I'd have just said the word,

Taybor would have given me the universe.

- The universe, oh sure, rabbits out of a hat you mean.

He was nothing more than a con man.

Commander!

I'm getting reports from all over Alpha!

All the trader's goods are vanishing!

- All our things are reappearing!

Kate's sweater, Yasko's bonsai tree,

Dr. Vincent's ship, outside the bottle.

- Well, it looks as if,

as if Taybor's a sore loser after all!

- If you'd have just said the word he'd

have given you the universe, huh?

- Well he had a nice way of speaking.

Unlike some people I know.

- All right, the thing is to beware

of traders bearing gifts.

- I was just thinking of that perfume Taybor gave you.

Well, we don't need Taybor's perfume.