Original subtitles

there. Really?

He has a dishwasher.

There's like, half a tomato

on that plate.

Right here, this guy?

Oh...

Mmm, not anymore.

It's from like, an hour ago,

I swear.

What about this?

Oh, keeper, for sure.

Really, this is ugly.

No. Yeah.

Yeah, and it makes me look

pregnant when I wear it.

You know, I gave that to you

for your birthday.

God, this whole thing feels

very... practical.

Jeez, take forever, Kevin. I've been waiting for this ring for years!

Come on, what do you

really think, dude?

Very ordinary ring.

Where are the stickers that

came with it? [Groans]

Just kidding.

Look, if she says yes--

- ishe says yes? We're not

going to do like, a dual

wedding-- when she says yes.

Come on, dude, just get

up here, okay?

Help me out?

This is light.

She's not gonna-- don't even

think about it, man.

Look, when are you gonna

propose? What?

Tonight?

Are you gonna propose tonight?

No.

I mean, I was.

I just didn't-- you know,

she's moving in, I didn't want

to give her...

Are you fucking with me, dude?

I'm gonna Twist it off.

You're gonna move in

together, you're gonna learn all

these awesome things about being

in a long-term relationship,

which, you know, you can't even

comprehend because you've never

done it before.

And then you're going to get

married and have one kid,

but it's gonna turn out to be

septuplets.

I'm gonna miss that couch.

You realize if we unpack

everything right now,

you're gonna have to do

the dishes.

Premium: It's the good stuff.

Yeah, I don't fuck around.

Now we know.

I wonder if Sarah is the same

at sex as Beth is at sex.

Oh, come on, man, I don't

want to know your brain has

thoughts like that.

You don't think about

that stuff?

They're sisters.

I have an idea.

We're not switching.

What if you proposed to her

after our show?

You know, like,

during the encore.

That would be such a

douchebag thing to do, man.

But how amazing would it be?

All our friends would already

be there.

It'd be the perfect

engagement party.

That'd be cool.

Lube on your books.

You know what?

That would be cool.

You think... she's gonna

fucking hate me.

Dude, do you think

she's gonna say yes?

I mean, she's moving in.

[Engine sputtering]

It's a sign.

It's a sign, Beth.

Seriously.

[Engine starts]

Yeah.

...You know, when Andrew and I

first moved in together,

our first night, we had sex in

every room in the apartment.

Wow.

That is so crazy-cliche,

I can't even handle it.

No, I'm just, I'm just saying

that's another plus side to

moving in together: More sex.

Got it, the problem is that

I'm saving myself for marriage,

so it doesn't apply.

I thought you don't believe

in marriage... I don't,

so I'm going to die a virg.

Straight up.

I swear we're not related.

Kevin: Andrew!

Hello there, sorry.

I didn't mean to yell.

Sarah: This is heavy, so...

Kevin: Okay, ready, got it?

Sarah: Watch it.

Andrew: Oh, yeah,

really heavy.

Sarah: All right, tough guy.

[Birds chirping] [Traffic passing in distance]

[Sighs]

Man: ? oh... ?

? Ah, ah ?

? Lovin' you, baby, ?

? when you're holding me, baby ?

? I... ?

I'm gonna be a really

bad roommate.

Yeah? Yeah.

Care to explain yourself?

I just forget to put the milk

away all the time, when I go

to work.

It's fine, like, in the winter,

but in the summertime, it's--

the whole is gonna smell

really sour-y and milky.

It's gross.

- Yeah? Mm-hmm.

And, like, every available

surface, I'll find a way to put,

like, a-- leave a coffee mug

on it.

You know, with, like, this much

coffee left in it.

- That's totally cool, 'cause--

- it's annoying.

It's not, 'cause I only drink

this much coffee.

I wouldn't drink it.

Oh, and I go grocery shopping

when I'm really hungry.

That's a bad thing, you know,

that's-- you're not supposed to

do that, right, 'cause you spend

way too much money.

I shop when I'm hungry.

No, I spend way too much

money and then you'll

come home, right? Mm-hmm.

And it's gonna be like,

a house full of groceries and

then I'm gonna say I really

wanna eat out. [Chuckles]

You're laughing now.

Oh, and if you see like, a piece

of paper or like an envelope or

something with a drawing on it

that I've done, you might think

that that's okay To throw away

'cause it's just on a scrap of

paper, but it's probably the

most important drawing I've ever

done in my whole life.

I'm gonna be really, really,

really pissed if you throw

it out-- so don't do that.

I won't do it.

Really, though.

I know about this already.

I don't care.

Well, you don't know that I

fart all the time.

'Cause I do.

That's so crazy

'cause I fart all the time.

Not more than me.

I fart constantly.

It's like I don't even know a

time when I'm not farting.

I'm farting right now.

[Chuckles] You're just saying

that to be nice.

Just wait.

[Laughs]

This is really gonna be bad,

bud.

I love you so much.

Man: ? no more bad ?

? dreams, baby ?

Sarah: I'm gonna be a really

Man: ? no more afraid to open ?

? the door and let you in ?

Kevin: Roommates.

I like it.

Roommates.

Man: ? lovin' you, baby... ?

[Both gasping]

Kevin: Did you come?

Come on, come on, babe.

[Kevin grunts, gasps...]

[Both breathing heavily]

You're so awesome.

You are so fucking beautiful.

Shh...

You're so beautiful.

Shh, shh, shh.

I love you.

I'm so happy.

You're so... mm.

So awesome.

I love you so much. Shh!

I love you! [Laughs] No.

[Cat purring softly]

[Back-up signal beeps...]

[Kevin groaning sleepily...]

[Music playing through speaker] [Tapping to song's rhythm] Hey, we don't have time

for that.

Okay, good morning.

'Morning, hon.

We gotta go-- these gotta go

to the post office.

I will make this a

to-go order.

Hey, these gotta go out or do

you not want the date saved in

our guests' calendars?

Oh, it would definitely be

the end of the world if our

guests make conflicting plans

many months in advance,

because we didn't send out our

notifications till tomorrow.

Real quick, do you have a

preference about these forks?

Do I?

Good question.

[Clinking]

Um, this one does not function

as a fork.

Mister, you know what?

It would be more helpful if you

just said, "I don't care."

I'll be right back.

Coffee is ready.

Beth: No, no way. It's way too soon. It's way too soon.

You don't think she might warm

up to the idea when she sees the

look in his eyes of love and the

ring and...

Ring?

No!

Oh, God.

Does he have a ring, really?

Yeah. Oh, God.

No, I-- you know Sarah.

It's like baby steps, you know

what I mean?

She-- where would he even get

this idea?

I might have...

Given him the idea.

Bad... bad.

You need to...

Tell him to wait till, I mean...

He really loves her.

It's so not the right time.

Okay I'm serious.

Okay, I will. You have to

fix it. I will.

I will take care of this.

[Rock playing...]

...Hey.

Kev, you put any more thought

into... proposing?

Yeah, I don't think

I'm gonna do it.

- Oh, yeah-- good, good.

Can you believe that somebody

already took my old apartment?

Like, signed the lease today?

That was fast. I know.

Wait, how do you know this?

Sarah!

It hasn't even been a week.

[Loud rock music]

It's the girl from

the bookstore-- bookstore girl.

She's here.

Bookstore girl?

Bookstore girl.

She exists?

She's here.

What's she doing here?

Is that rhetorical or are you

actually asking me that?

I'm gonna go find out.

Man: ? touch me in the dark ?

? fade into the feeling ?

? whisper in my ear ?

what you want,

? what you need ?

? tell me my name... ?

Oh!

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Um, I'll go get some

paper towels.

No, that's all right.

Are you sure?

Yeah, it's no big deal.

'Cause I can handle it,

it's no problem.

I'm sure, but it's, honestly,

don't even worry about it.

It's fine.

Okay, okay

Uh, hey, can I buy you a drink?

What?

Can I buy you a drink?

Oh.

I have a drink.

Yeah...

Thanks.

Uh, so, you live around here?

Sorry.

Do you live around here?

- Oh, um, yeah, I--

do you know Kevin? No.

- Yeah, the singer in the--

in wolfbird, the singer

of the band?

Yeah, he, um, we live to--

he's my boyfriend.

He's your boyfriend?

Yeah, we live together.

Jeez Louise.

I'm such a moron.

No, no.

That's cool, though.

I'll see you.

Jonathan!

Is that right?

Jonathan, right?

You know my name?

You know my name.

I make it a point to see every

band with a wolf-related name.

Really? Yes, because I

I want to be the guy that's

seen them all.

[Chuckles] Okay

Yeah, I've seen wolfmother,

wolf parade, wolf eyes,

wolf cub, peanut butter wolf,

Peter wolf, Patrick wolf,

alpha wolf, sea wolf.

I've even seen Los Lobos.

This is very impressive.

Man: Steppenwolf.

What's that?

Steppenwolf, dude.

That is a band.

I totally agree.

That is a band.

Great band.

I'm gonna add them to my list.

They tour?

You seen them?

All right. [Chuckles]

This guy.

[Chuckles nervously]

You seem kind of nervous

right now. I do?

I just, uh, you probably

aren't-- who are you?

Uh, I'm Jonathan.

That's Jonathan.

That's Beth.

And Beth, yeah.

He hangs out at the bookstore.

I stalk your friend.

Quietly, because...

It's a bookstore.

I'm gonna... I'm gonna--

they're gonna start probably.

Oh, okay

Um, I'll call you when your book

comes in.

If it comes in.

It'll come in.

All right, well, it was nice

meeting you.

Bye.

What are you doing?

Talking to a customer from

the bookstore.

Ooh, your boyfriend's band is

about to play. I know.

I hear they're awesome.

I can't wait. Go watch

them. I can't wait,

I love 'em so much. Me too.

[Applause, cheering]

[Crowd roars]

[Inaudible] [Cheering and applause] - Thank you!

Ah, it's great to be here.

It's great to be back.

We got some new stuff for you.

We hope you like it.

We, uh, the next one, the first

one, it's the first one,

this first one is called, well,

you'll figure it out.

? Bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-bah- ?

? babies ?

? b-b-b-b-b-bah-bah ?

? bah-bah-babies ?

? b-b-b-b-b-b-babies ?

? bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-babies ?

all right!

? Bah-bah-bah-baby ?

? bah-bah-bah bah-bah ?

? b-b-b-baby! ?

? Bah-bah-bah bah-bah-bah ?

? bah-bah-bah-bah-bah ?

? bah-bah-bah-bah-babies ?

shh...

? Bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-babies ?

Beth: Look at him.

Yeah, I know.

No, look at him.

He's yours.

- ? Bah-bah-bah-bah-bah ?

bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-bah...

? Ba... bies! ?

Crowd: Wolfbird, wolfbird,

wolfbird, wolfbird...

Oh... ow!

This is seriously one of the

best shows we've ever played!

Mucho, mucho, mucho,

mucho gracias!

Gracias.

Ow!

I'm gonna do it.

- No, kev, don't--

- hey... I'm gonna do it.

Uh... [Chuckles]

So, we're leaving on tour

real soon, and--

- man: We'll miss you!

I'm gonna miss you too, dad!

And, uh, I'm seriously gonna

get in trouble right now, but

there's this girl...

Kevin!

I gotta.

I love this girl, and I'm gonna

miss her to peaches--

uh, pieces.

Peaches doesn't make any sense.

I'm gonna miss her to pieces.

Sarah, where are you?

Man: Over here!

Okay, uh, I hope that we're

gonna look back on this and

laugh because I know I am

embarrassing you right now,

but I can't leave for a month

without doing this, I just,

I can't, so...

There you are.

It's okay

[Growling] It's okay

[Normally] I'm not gonna bite,

I just...

Sarah, we know we wanna spend

the rest of our lives together.

I just want to make it official.

Woman: Whoo!

[Breathing heavily]

[Chuckling]

[Breathing heavily]

Sarah...

Will you marry me?

Man: I'll marry you, Kevin!

Go ahead, Sarah.

It's okay, it's just us.

Man: Do it!

Sarah, Sarah, come on.

Woman: Come on, Sarah.

Audience: Oh...

[Jeering and muttering]

[Man laughs]

[General conversation]

Oh, sh...

[Breathes heavily]

Shit.

- [Panting] - [Breathing heavily] Fuck. I just-- wait, I should go back

and talk to her, right?

No, no, just take a minute.

Sarah.

Sarah.

Sarah, I told them not to

do that, I swear.

You knew?

No, no, I'm sorry.

Look, I didn't--

I told them not to.

Fuck.

What the fuck did I do?

I can't believe that

that just happened.

Hey, it's gonna be all right.

No, I can't believe that

he just did that.

Hey, hey, hey, Sarah,

it's gonna be okay

It's not okay!

It's not okay

[Birds chirping]

[Cat meows] - Andrew: 'Morning. - 'Morning.

[?...]

- And pets are okay, right? - Right...

- Beth: Sarah, I'm sorry, I-- you know, I care about you so much, and I just... I have to

be the voice of reason

right now, I-- Kevin is awesome.

He's so awesome.

Sarah: Yep, I know.

Beth: You know, I saw him

this morning and I just-- you

should've seen his little face,

it was so droopy and sad and...

I couldn't help but think

this is temporary, right?

Beth...

I'm just saying, you know,

he's such a good guy, and he's

so in love with you...

I get it, I get it, I get it.

He really is.

I get it, I get that he's

wonderful, and I also get that

you're getting married, and that

that's something that's super...

This isn't about that.

- It-- I'm just saying I'm not

sure that you can understand,

like, where I'm coming from

at all.

All right, try.

Okay, um...

I'm happy.

[Scoffs]

Thank you.

I know that I'm not happy

right now, like, not in this

particular conversation or

whatever, but overall, I'm a

very happy person, you know?

Very happy and positive.

I may even be the most happy and

positive person you've ever met

in your whole entire life,

right? Okay

And... I don't know,

it's like... [Sighs]

When I started moving in

with him, like even just started

thinking about it, I, I felt

so... [Straining]

[Imitates straining]

Yes. What is that?

That's how I felt.

It is, and I'm not like, "oh,

well, I'm over Kevin.

Who's Kevin? I don't care

about him" at all.

You're making up excuses.

I'm not. And they're not

very good, you know, it's time

to grow up, I...

Come on, don't even.

[Laughs] What are you so

afraid of?

I'm afraid that I'm gonna

sound like you, psycho.

Well, that's just rude.

That...

Okay, I just, I don't really,

I don't know, I don't want to

start saying a bunch of stuff

'cause this is gonna, like,

escalate, and then I'm gonna say

a bunch of stuff that I regret

and have to apologize for later.

I don't wanna do that, I just

wanna go have food that's bad

for us and you to give me a

bunch of sympathy.

Like, that's the only thing.

Well... I will eat bad food

with you. Great.

But I'm not gonna give you

sympathy, I'm sorry.

[Gulls squawk in distance]

[Music playing faintly in headphones...]

- How do you get your books delivered here, by a mule? - Hmm?

Oh, hi.

Hey, I wasn't looking at

your butt crack.

Yeah, this says that it was

shipped on the 28th.

That's a long time ago.

Hey, I'm moving into a place

really, really close to you.

How do you know where I live?

Couldn't make up something

more mysterious?

[Chuckles]

...Marine biology.

Mm, actually getting my master's

in it. Wow, look at you.

Isn't there, like, a

university bookstore, then,

you could get all these

obscure books at, instead of

coming here?

Well, you don't work at a

university bookstore.

What are you studying?

[Chuckles] Uh, nothing.

I'm not-- I was a library

science major, but I didn't

finish, so...

Library science.

Science of libraries.

[Inhales and exhales deeply]

When's the housewarming party?

Uh, what do you mean,

my housewarming party?

You're moving, right?

You're moving in with, uh...

Kevin?

No, God, no, no.

You were there, you saw...

Uh, no, that's, um, that's over.

Really?

Really.

Well... [Sighs]

If you, uh, need help warming

your house, doesn't need to be

like a whole... party, per se,

you know, could just be...

[Bell dinging]

Um, yeah.

I'll call you.

Don't you need my number?

It's in the computer.

Hey, what a courteous and

helpful employee.

Seriously, what extra-mile

customer care!

You don't, you don't have to.

I'm the, I'm the manager.

- [Whispers] Sorry-- good job.

[Rock playing in distance]

Andrew: I'm gonna need you to

just try and play a good show

tonight, okay?

I know it sucks, but for the

next hour and 15 minutes, let's

just try and have fun out there,

all right?

Or at least sell some t-shirts,

make a little money, capisci?

- T-shirts?

- Oh, come-- I'm sorry,

you know what I mean.

Come on.

[Audience cheering]

Hey, that was a really great

show. Well, thank you.

I mean, it was awesome.

I was worried you guys were

gonna cancel.

Why is that?

I saw what happened in l.a.

You were there?

Band: ? ...Linda! ? ? Linda, Linda, Linda ? ? Linda-Linda, Linda-Linda ?

? Linda, Linda, Linda. ?

[Music ends]

[Rock playing in club...]

- Hey. - Hey! Hi! [Overlapping conversations]

I wanna talk to you about

something-- here, drink this.

Okay So, I'm scrapping

the idea of a group art show,

and instead it's gonna be a

solo show with just you.

What?! Yes.

No. Cheers.

That's a bad idea.

No, it's not.

Isabelle, do not do that.

You deserve it. No!

No, I don't deserve that.

...And I can do whatever

I want.

You're insane.

You're insane.

But Kevin and Andrew aren't

still playing at the wedding,

right? Of course they are.

Why wouldn't-- oh, right...

[Laughs] I haven't talked

about it, I haven't talked

about it since d-day. Well...

[Shouting over music] Hey,

Sarah! Sarah!

Sarah!

Well... [Chuckles]

Kevin's gonna play solo during

the reception because of

Andrew's obvious conflict, and

then wolfbird, the full band,

is gonna play later, like, late.

Like, last hour of the open bar.

And Sarah's fine with this?

- Let me just double-check.

Hey, Sarah!

Beth, yes.

Michelle has a wolfbird

question. No, not...

Serious.

You're still cool if Kevin plays

music at the wedding, right?

Yeah, of course, yes,

totally.

- See? Sarah is-- she's not,

you know, a personal conflict,

temporary awkardnesses, she can

put those aside like an adult.

Well, yeah, but how do you

think he feels about it?

That is a good question.

This is a good question.

Hey, Sarah! Sarah!

Beth: Sar'! Sarah!

Beth, yes!

How do you think Kevin

feels about it?

About playing at the wedding?

Yeah. I really have no

idea how Kevin feels about it.

Do you think you could

call him? Beth!

What? This is important.

You want me to call him?

We're in the middle of...

Beth: Yeah! No...

I don't really wanna

call him, Beth.

Why don't you get your

boyfriend to call him?

Maybe it would be good

if you talked to him.

Isabelle: We're talking about

something that Sarah is excited

about... [Overlapping voices]

[Laughs] What?

Not looking for an excuse

to call him.

Just trying to settle

this thing.

Okay Great timing, Beth.

Get it locked and loaded.

[Laughs]

Uh-oh.

[Music changes]

Hey, I'm sorry. That was obnoxious. Had a few drinks with alcohol

and, um... [Chuckles]

How are you?

I am catching up.

Are you all moved in now?

Yeah, I am, except for

unpacking, but...

Good!

I mean... good.

So, is that gonna be it now?

- "It"-- what do you-- what?

For what?

I just... want this to be

the last big thing, I...

You're making me nervous, I...

I'm not. I'm getting

married.

I'm getting married!

- I just moved, all--

- what?

All I did was move, you know?

I know.

...Not doing anything.

I know, that's not...

You know what?

If you wanna make mistakes,

these are your mistakes to make,

not mine, and...

I gotta respect that.

- Hey. Mm. - What's going on? - Is she okay?

Yeah, she's fine.

Tired. I'm tired.

Okay, I'm gonna take her.

Do you wanna go?

Yeah, please.

Okay, you sure you got it?

I got it.

She got it.

You got it.

- Sarah. Mm. - Wake up, we're here. - Fine, thank you.

Of course.

[Still drunk] For driving

me... it's nice.

No... [Chuckles]

What, what's so funny?

This isn't my house.

I don't live here anymore.

This is Kevin's house only.

I'm sorry, I didn't realize.

I have not been to your new

place, let's just go.

No, no, no, no.

I have a key.

I'm gonna go here.

I wanna go here. No.

Why, why, why?

Sarah. What?

Sarah, get back in the car.

He's not here, Isabelle.

Isabelle, he's not even home,

he's on tour.

I just am gonna sleep

in a comfortable bed.

My bed sucks, he has a

comfortable bed,

it smells like a man.

I just want that.

One night, who cares?

This is not a good idea,

and I would be a very bad friend

if I let you go up there.

- Uh-uh. Get back in the--

- you're good, though,

Isabelle.

Nobody will take that away

from you.

Ever.

So good.

[Sighs]

Whoops. [Chuckles] [Groans]

Hi, Kevin.

Uh, oh, I'm... good.

I'm brilliant.

- Both: What are you doing here? - Jinx, you go first.

I, uh, I canceled...

We canceled the tour 'cause...

I was too...

I was too fucked-up.

Yikes, uh, that's...

That sounds really horrible.

Um...

I... I was just stopping by to get something, so...

Is that really why you're here? Yeah. Yeah, I, uh, I got this, uh,

bag of bagels and I opened...

It up, and I took one out and

I cut it and then I said, "aw,

I don't have a toaster, I should

go and get it," so...

Yeah.

Are you happier? 'Cause if you are, I... I'll let you go, but...

Are you happier?

Yeah.

Just get out. Just... go on, get out. - Okay

- Jonathan: Cookies! - Sarah: Mm-hmm. Really?

Is that okay?

Mmm, yes.

I'd say this house is warmed.

- Mm-hmm.

Oh, uh...

Merry Christmas!

What's this?

Open it.

Thank you for cooking dinner.

Sweet!

It's the book I paid for

and ordered two months ago.

That's right.

I thought you would love it.

It is just what I've

always wanted.

[Music playing in background]

So...

Do you want to dance?

Help me.

[Dragging furniture]

Oh, nice moves.

Okay, okay

Woman: ? ...There's a crowd ?

of people

talkin' in your head ?

? talkin' all at once, they ?

never want to go to bed... ?

[Mouths] You motherfucking

asshole.

You are so cute... oh...

I wish I could kiss you.

Right now. [Mouths words]

What's that?

Why can't you?

I gotta be a gentleman.

[Mouths] Really...

You just got out of a

long-term relationship.

Don't get me wrong;

I really, really want to.

It'd just be really

insensitive of me.

Well, what if I kissed you?

I got a mouthful of cookie.

After that.

Woman: ? ... the climb back ?

up is like mount Everest ?

? whoa, oh... ?

That's what it's like to

kiss the bookstore girl.

I don't know what I'm doing.

I know, and for that,

I'm gonna leave.

'Cause you know what happens

after kissing.

[Sighing]

Hey!

I really hope you call me.

I'll call you. Bye.

Beth: So, I'd say we're not even 50%, but I got the cake designer, florist, D.J. are

all set-- D.J.? Yeah.

We're not getting a D.J.

Yeah, no, I booked

him yesterday.

Why would you do that?

We don't need a D.J., I was just

gonna play a playlist on

my iPod.

Well, you said you didn't

want to be a part of it, so...

Yeah, but music is kind of

my thing.

I don't want some guy playing

"YMCA" At my wedding.

We can tell him that.

Who? The D.J.

The D.J., oh.

How much is he charging us?

Look, give me his number.

Write down his number and I'll

call him, I'll take care of it.

[Traffic passing]

The next time I'm gonna be alone... will either be after Beth dies...

Or I die.

Ohh...

Bummer.

Sarah: Yeah, like, I have all these friends that, that finished school and they

worked their way to these crazy

jobs and make all this money,

right? But...

None of them are happy.

They're just complaining

nonstop, mostly about time.

You know, "I don't have

any time to do anything.

I don't have any time

to see you."

So, I dunno, it makes me

think that aspirations are

just totally overrated.

'Cause I work in, like,

this shitty bookstore, right?

And I sometimes feel like

perhaps, I have life figured out

way more than those people do.

Plus books, right?

Books. Right.

Books are cool.

They are cool.

What about you, mister?

Well, I know they didn't have

an ocean in Kansas City.

Oh, really, there's not?

No, there's not.

They didn't get one.

I know that's why I became

totally obsessed with it.

And waves are crazy.

I mean, being controlled by

the moon is totally nuts.

That's nuts.

But it's also, it's similar

to what you were saying,

in a way, because I feel like,

feel like marine animals have

the ultimate life.

They get to just float around

and there's nowhere they

gotta be.

Yeah, but they gotta worry

about getting eaten by sharks.

I actually have a lot of

sympathy for sharks because if

they knew how much we villainize

them, they'd be like,

"dude, it is not my fault I was

born with giant teeth and have

a giant appetite."

I mean, sharks gotta eat.

Sharks gotta eat.

You know, that's, like,

that's really beautiful to me.

That's life and... I am sounding

totally stupid right now.

You're not.

You're not.

You're sounding very adorable

right now. Yeah.

- It's cool, I-- it's just cool

that you care so much about...

Something, you know?

Yeah?

Huh.

"Huh."

[Both laugh]

Jonathan: I should probably

get back to work.

Well, what time are you

getting off?

[Thud]

...Oh, my-- [Laughs]

I just, I want to make sure

I'm not stepping over

any boundaries.

What boundaries?

Oh, you know.

You know boundaries.

Wait, are you sure?

Are you like, are you sure?

I want you to have sex

with me right now.

Is that clear enough for you?

Hey, Sarah, I just mean,

I think you are so beautiful.

Take off your clothes!

Uh-oh. Boner alert.

I'm, I'm poking you.

I like it.

Oh, I'm so glad that you

broke up with your ex-boyfriend.

Wait, that was not the right

thing to say right now.

It's okay

Me too.

God... you're... really...

Good at this...

Aren't you? Yeah.

You're really, really...

Fucking me.

[Jonathan gasps] [Sarah laughs] [Jonathan laughs]

[Both breathing heavily...]

I really, really, really, really, really like you, Jonathan.

Really, really like you, Sarah.

Jonathan? Yeah?

You have a giant penis.

[Waves lapping, gulls squawking]

Beth: 50 bucks she comes to the wedding with Kevin. They'll both R.S.V.P. With

separate guests and then a week

before the wedding, they'll get

back together and we'll have two

extra plates we have to pay for.

- Mm-- I hope that happens.

Speak of the devil. Who?

"What's he look like?

No, don't tell me."

Why, why would you-- what's the

point of sending that text?

Sarah: Thanks. Hi.

Beth: Hello.

- Beth... hello-- ooh.

Jonathan. Hello.

Hi. Hi, how you doing?

- Good-- this is Andrew.

Hey, man, how are you doing?

It's really great

to meet you guys.

I've met you before.

Where have I met you?

Oh, right, no, you have.

I, uh, I make a point to see

every band with a wolf-related

name, so I actually saw wolfbird

when you guys were in town

last time.

And, uh, you guys are awesome,

by the way.

You saw our last show?

Yeah, and I was really bummed

that your encore got cut short

by someone.

I'm so sorry.

I really apologize.

I remember you.

Wow.

So that-- so you're totally

aware that Sarah was proposed to

like, six, eight weeks ago?

Yeah, dude, I was there.

That's been established.

And you know they dated for,

I mean, about--

- two years? Sarah: More.

Jonathan: Yeah, no, more.

Over two years.

No, we are way past that.

Yeah, way past that.

We've even had sex

with each other.

Hey. How about that?

We're about to have dinner.

You're right, I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry. Don't let it

happen again. [Laughs]

Andrew: That is wild.

Yeah, dude, I'm sorry,

I don't mean to harp on this,

I just, you realize this makes

you kind of the, I don't wanna--

- like a rebound?

Yeah. Yeah, no, I know.

Totally sucks.

I feel like I got, like, what?

Like, three more weeks left?

Pssh, two.

Two? Tops. That's it?

Two, tops.

Well, I mean, you know Sarah.

Yeah. Yeah, we do.

Yeah, well, no, and I've

thought about this and I just

figured I'd much rather be with

her-- you-- right now and, like,

experience some totally

devastating heartbreak in the

future than to not be

with her at all.

It's worth it to me.

[Glass clatters]

Sarah: Oh, God.

Oh, fuck. Are you okay?

I just totally spilled wine

all over my crotch.

Yeah, we saw it.

I can't really, I'd rub

the real area, but--

- that's really inappropriate.

You want us to spill wine on

our crotches out of solidarity?

Would that make you feel better?

That is something I would

say, man.

Uh, fuck, I am an idiot.

Well, good luck taking care

of that sick otter.

Jonathan: Thank you.

Hey, Sarah, you're still

coming with me to meet the

gift bag designer, right?

When?

Tomorrow morning.

I asked you about this.

Tomor... that...

Tomorrow's my day off.

I know.

That's why I scheduled it.

Right.

Do you want to go with Beth

to the gift bag designer?

Yeah, totally.

You can fly solo on this

one, right, babe?

They're not that important.

Jonathan: I'm being serious,

I will totally go.

I got nothing going on,

it'd be awesome.

You're being serious?

- Mm-hmm. It's strange, but

I like that-- he's not joking.

He wants to go with you.

You don't have to feel any

pressure, it's okay, man.

But I will go.

All right, I think

we're done. [Clears throat]

Beth: Hey, mister,

that was rude.

What?

What was rude?

What you said about

the gift bags.

What did I say?

"Nobody cares."

- That's-- I--

okay, well, I'm sorry.

I care.

I want you to care, too.

About the gift bags?

About everything.

About the wedding.

Sometimes I feel like it's

not important to you.

Not sometimes, all the time.

Okay, well, wait a minute.

I made the decision to spend the

rest of my life with you months

before I even thought of asking.

- Okay Well-- listen, no,

no, no, hold on-- the wedding

is going to mean a lot to me.

It's gonna mean a tremendous

amount to me.

I'm probably going to cry during

the ceremony 'cause I'm a

pussy-- you're marrying a pussy.

Just F.Y.I.

But that's not what it is.

To me, it's a, it's a,

it's just a-- it's a party.

It's a big party to

celebrate us.

But, mister, it's a lot of

work, especially on our budget,

and when you act blase about it,

it hurts my feelings.

And you know Sarah doesn't

give a shit and my mom is

not helpful.

It's just me.

It's gonna be the greatest

wedding that ever happened in

humanity's history.

We're a team, you know?

You're right.

Thank you.

And when you're right,

you're right and--

- I'm right.

[They kiss]

Jonathan: So, aside from my

little accident, I didn't

embarrass you too much?

No, you didn't embarrass me.

Kind of embarrassed by Beth,

but that's nothing new.

Is it wrong of me to say that

I'm kind of getting sick of her?

No... why do you spend

so much time with her if she

bothers you so much?

What else would I do?

Sometimes your friends change

and it sucks, but you move on.

Yeah, but, I mean, you don't

move on from your sister.

She's your sister?!

Yes.

- Wh-- you never told me that.

- I, yes, that's--

Beth is my sister.

That's amazing.

- That's so weird-- oh, my God.

Amazing, that's crazy.

- I actually like the guy. - Yeah, Jeremy was awesome. - Jonathan.

Right. [Water running]

[Spits] Jonathan.

Not a bad dude.

I feel bad.

She's gonna bust his heart

into a million pieces.

So, a lot of these magazines

talk about green weddings,

"how to reduce your

nuptial footprint."

That is so stupid.

No, I think we should

totally do it.

Okay

I mean, we already have the

all-organic catering-- I don't

think it would be that

big a deal.

- What's the matter with you? - Why, what'd I do? - No...

I mean, literally,

what is the matter with you?

You're like...

Too perfect.

There's gotta be something,

right?

Some huge, fucked-up thing

that you haven't told me yet.

Hmm?

Oh, there is something.

What is it?

So, you know how you were

talking about marriage earlier?

I, uh, I don't believe in it.

Shut up! Ah!

That was an accident.

[Kiss]

[Laughs] I really did not mean

to hit you that hard.

That's okay

I'm sorry.

That's crazy.

I don't believe in marriage,

either.

- Mm-hmm.

Man, I thought you were going

to say something so much worse

than that.

Why don't you believe in it?

Well...

Since I got...

Divorced...

There it is.

Divorced.

That's what I'm talking about.

You're divorced.

Is that bad?

What happened?

Nothing really happened.

It wasn't like some big blow-up

or anything, she just...

She just didn't want to be

with me anymore.

And, uh...

I'm glad it happened last year

and not when I was like 40 or

something like that, you know?

It's actually a good thing.

I'm really glad it happened.

She sounds like

a crazy bitch.

Mm...

She wasn't really a bitch.

Oh my God, why are you so

nice all the time?

Stop being so nice.

Yup.

- What are you doing? - I'm not doing anything. ? What are you doing? ?

[Gasps] What are you doing?

Ow-- hello.

[Laughing] Nothing.

- [Laughing] Your--

your Dick tastes like Merlot.

? All of-- all of the mistakes ? ? I've made ?

? all of the mistakes ?

I've made... ? [Pauses] ?

[Drum track plays...]

[Piano joins in...]

? All the ways that I fucked up ?

? the plans I'd laid ?

? all the times ?

I showed up late,

all the places I left

? when I should have stayed ?

? I know ?

? Now I know ?

? All the chances I let by ?

? all the accidents ?

? that dot the maps of my life ?

? all of those long, worthless ?

? nights ?

? all the times that I know ?

? I didn't get it right ?

? It brought me to you ?

? all the shit I went through, ?

? So I don't care what it took, ?

? all the shit I went through ?

? it brought me to you, ?

? yeah, it got kind of rough ?

? it seemed like hoping never ?

? mattered enough ?

? and then it ended with me ?

? falling in love ?

? it brought me to you ?

[Accompaniment ends]

? Now I miss you. ?

Jonathan: I'm gonna miss you

this weekend.

Me, too.

Ow-- ow, ow, ow, ow!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. [Kissing...]

My sister's gonna be here,

like, now.

Now's not right now.

It is.

[Cell phone ring tone]

How many people do you think

are having sex right now?

Hey, I need you to stop.

Really, she's calling again.

She's just calling to say

she's on her way.

She's just calling to say...

Beth: Sarah?

Sarah?

Oh my God.

Beth: Are you humping?

Hey, Beth.

Beth: Hi, Jonathan.

[Whistling]

Ferd?

[Whistles]

Ferdinand?

Ferdinand?

Here, girl! [Whistles]

Girl?

Ferd? [Whistling]

Sarah, we're gonna be late!

Well, I can't find the cat,

so what do you want?

We can't find ferdinand.

...You can't miss your sister's

bridal shower.

Look, I know you're worried.

I got nothing going on.

I'm gonna go look for her.

She's just never been outside

before, like ever in her life.

I know, I know.

She's fine, she's fine.

She just went on

a little adventure.

[Sighs] Fine, okay

God...

You gonna give me a key?

[Muttering] I'm giving you

a key now.

[Scoffs] I can give it to you

when you get back.

Beth: Come on!

I'm sorry, Beth.

Hey...

Yeah? [Kiss]

Try to have fun, okay?

Yeah, okay

- Beth? - [Vomiting]

[Spits] Ugh.

[Beth honks twice]

- Mom: Hi! Benjie: Hey!! [Dog barks] - Beth: Now that I'm about

to get married and I'm taking

the first steps towards starting

my family, I really just feel

so fortunate to have all of you

amazing role models in my life.

Mom, the way you and dad love

each other is inspiring.

Growing up and seeing you two

together...

I've just always wanted that,

to have what you have.

And now to be able to share that

with my future husband...

[Chuckling]... "Husband"...

Um, it's amazing, and I don't

take it for granted.

So, cheers.

All: Cheers.

Mom?

I'll be right back.

[Toilet flushing] [Clattering] [Sighs deeply]

[Dog pants]

[Snorts]

[Receipt printer clicking] Good luck.

[Dog slurps]

[Beth laughing] Benjie: How was it, Sarah?

It was fine.

Yeah, Beth was...

She was really happy.

Not always the easiest thing

to do, so...

Hey, sairs,

I need your advice on something.

Your mom and I...

We're not getting a--

we're not getting a divorce,

but we're gonna be spending

time away from each other

for a few months, so...

Benjie...

No, I mean, it's awful, but...

You know, it could be way worse.

[Chokes up]

Um...

We don't know...

We don't want to hide it from

anyone, but we don't know if

now's the right time to tell

your sister.

Jonathan: Yeah, she's not

back yet.

Ferdinand the she-cat has not

returned.

You should see the posters

though, they're funny.

Well, if there's any news,

will you just call me?

Of course.

- Jonathan... - I just...

I really appreciate it.

Thank you.

'Course, hon'.

I'll see ya tomorrow.

I love you.

- I lo--

wait, did you just say

that you, um...

You don't have to say it

back, it's cool.

Sorry, I...

I'll see you tomorrow.

Are you sleeping?

No, what's up?

Where did you go? - You left in the middle

of the party.

Yeah, I know, that's actually

what I need to talk to you

about.

You know, I want this to be

special, and I want you to be

excited, but I want you to be

genuinely excited, like, I don't

want to have to, like, tell you

to be excited.

I am excited, I really am.

I know you think

this is wrong...

No, I don't think that

it's... I really don't think...

I just think maybe I'm...

Asking too much, I...

I don't think that at all.

I don't think that it's wrong,

I can totally see why you feel

that way and I'm sorry.

I actually think

it's really awesome.

Honestly, I think it's awesome

that you have some guy that you

met that you love, and he loves

you a lot back, and you don't

like question it for a second.

It's amazing.

I'm just preoccupied, you know?

Kevin... and now Jonathan.

I don't know, it doesn't matter.

It's just...

I'll be better at this.

Go fuck yourself.

[Both chuckle]

Beth: I'm just thinking for the overall aesthetic of the table setting, of the layout

of the table, but then I--

well, not exactly, but then

for the flower colors to be

a bit more bright.

Like...

Can I show you something?

Mom: Okay...

What exactly...

Benjie: Is now a good time?

Seems good, it's quiet.

- Yeah, now-- now's actually

not really a good time for me.

No, you're right.

- I'm really-- I'm sorry.

I'm not sure what I'm supposed

to do here.

No, it's okay, it's okay

How are you?

I'm really not good.

You wanna talk?

I think I... I just,

I kinda wanna go home.

Sure.

[Birds chirping]

[Shower running...] - hello? - Jonathan from the shower:

Hey hon, it's just me!

...I bet she's eating rotisserie

chicken off some old lady's lap

right now.

[Wine glass clinks on table]

There you go.

She just hasn't seen

the posters yet.

[Kissing]

Hey...

- Wait, can I just-- um...

I kinda just wanted to have my

apartment to myself tonight.

Is that okay?

Yeah, no, of course.

There's, uh, some dinner

in the oven.

Make sure you take it out

when it dings.

You don't want your place

to burn down or anything.

It's a lasagna.

Yeah, made you a lasagna.

Yeah, I'll take it out.

All right.

You're welcome.

[Door opens and shuts]

- Saleswoman: Overall, how does this feel? - Sarah?

Yup?

I like this one.

This is pretty.

But, I don't know, what do you

think about, like, uh, like,

straps?

Yeah, for practical reasons,

I was thinking the same thing.

Yeah, I'll go check

in the back.

Cool, thank you.

Oh, and in the same price range.

Sneaky.

You know, I just sort of think

like all wedding dresses look

like fancy folded napkins

or whatever, but...

You look really great.

Like, really beautiful.

...Ooh!

This is practically perfect.

Just maybe a little too wide?

Oh, we can slim it down.

No problem.

When's your wedding again?

Eight months.

Maybe less.

Sarah, good call.

Eight months is plenty

of time.

You don't think it's still

a little too boobalicious?

Um... it's a good thing.

I think your groom will love it.

Sarah: I need to get by you.

Just... watch out.

Saleswoman: Sorry.

[Door slams]

What the hell?

I can't be your maid

of honor.

What do you mean?

Well, it's the first week

in February, right?

The wedding.

Your wedding is the first

week in February? Yeah.

Yeah, uh...

That's when I'm... due.

I'm pregnant.

That's not funny.

I'm not joking, believe me.

You're pregnant?

I don't know... I...

I... fucked up.

Yeah, you did.

Beth...

I kind of need you to just be

my sister right now, okay?

Oh, because every time I give

you advice, you definitely

seem to listen.

Oh c'mon, I try.

I try! And every-- you're just

impossible to talk to!

You can't have a baby.

I know! I don't know what I'm

supposed to do! Seriously?

How are you going to take care

of another human being? You can

barely take care of a cat!

[Traffic passing...]

[Song playing...]

[Frustrated sigh]

? Someday my timing ?

? will get better ?

? oh, sangita ?

? someday my ti-ti-ti ... ?

[Music playing from gallery]

[Music continues]

- Man: I'm so impressed with this stuff. - Thanks, thank you.

You mind if I ask you

a couple of questions?

Do you have like a blog

or something?

I, uh, I write for artforum.

No, you don't.

Really?

Hey... hey!

Hi.

How you doing?

How are you doing?

I haven't seen this one.

Yeah, that's my favorite.

Yeah. Yeah.

- Do you think I should... I should go talk... yeah, right. - Mm-hmm. Okay

- How does your-- I assume

he's your ex-boyfriend--

feel about them?

He thinks they're amazing.

Hey, how's-a my timing?

[Both chuckle nervously]

Wow, hi, you're here.

Yeah, of course, of course.

Hi! This is Kevin.

Uh, this is Trevor and Jonathan.

Hey Jonathan, it's Kevin.

I'm Trevor.

Trevor.

Hey.

Hey.

This is crazy.

Like, I'm freaking out

right now, kind of.

Hey, sorry I'm late.

Hey. What's up?

Hi. Hey.

Wow, it's incredible.

It's like a real gallery.

It is a real gallery.

I mean, it is a real gallery.

Where's Beth?

Uh...

[Music continues in gallery]

...I know you guys aren't getting along right now, but she didn't even show up tonight.

I know, but...

That's not how it's

supposed to be.

Hey man, I'm out.

Yup-- hello, good-bye.

- Bye-- hey, congratulations.

Thank you so much for coming.

Of course, of course.

Uh, I'll see you guys later.

Sarah: Yeah. See ya.

Hey, sorry I'm chewing

your ear off.

I know you should probably be

in there schmoozing with people.

Thank you for listening

to my emotional vomit.

No, it's fine, really.

Bleah...

Let me wipe that off of you.

I'm gonna spend the rest

of my life with this girl.

This wonderful,

wonderful girl.

Sometimes it's hard to remember.

[Music playing in bar]

Hey, aren't you in a band?

No, no, no.

That wolf band, right?

You're thinking of

someone else, I think.

No, I've seen you.

Get the fuck away from me.

I'm... [Disgusted sigh]

I didn't know what to expect,

but that was incredible.

You were amazing tonight, babe.

Uh, Jonathan?

Yeah? You, uh,

wanna go get something to eat?

Um...

Actually, I--

I need some time to think about

some things.

Some time alone.

Okay... y-you...

Y-you breaking up?

No.

Is it Kevin? Are you...?

Come on.

Did I do something?

Not at all, no.

You...

No, I mean, you're amazing.

Like... amazing.

You're one of the most wonderful

guys I've ever met.

Really, like I really mean that.

You know... my instinct is to put a smile on my face and say everything's cool.

I can't do that.

'Cause I've been

where you're at and you know,

the only difference is,

is that the person you need

is right in front of you.

What are you scared of?

Sarah, seriously, what are you

scared of being...?

Being with me is not gonna

change you.

I just need a little bit

of time alone.

That's it.

I love you, Sarah,

but this is...

This is fucking bullshit.

Ah, fuck-- okay, you know--

[Sighs]

I don't want to be like this.

Can't say you didn't warn me.

[Door opens and closes]

- How was it? - It was great. You shoulda been there.

[Runs water]

[Gargles] [Spits]

Beth... We're gonna... you and I are gonna be a family soon.

I don't ever want my family

to treat each other like this.

I don't ever want to treat you

like this, and when we have

kids, I don't ever want them

to get so engrossed in their own

lives that they can't be there

for each other.

Okay

I don't know what's happening.

The girl that you're acting like

right now is not the fucking

girl I fell in love with.

Good night.

[Knock on door: "Shave and a haircut, two bits"] Just a sec.

[Mutters] Oh God...

- [Drunkenly] Hello. - Hi. What are you doing here?

I... just wanted

to see you again.

Listen, Kevin,

I'm so tired right now.

Well, after I saw you tonight

I just couldn't believe that

we weren't together-- still.

Can we just talk about this

like, any other time? Please.

- Hey-- you came to my house

drunk-- I'm allowed a turn.

It's not bad.

Hey, where's ferdie?

Ferdie-- [Kissing sound]

I don't know.

Ahh...

So...

It just doesn't make sense.

Because I was thinking about it.

And I was thinking a lot

about it and... it didn't make

sense to me, 'cause, what?

We don't have to live together.

We could live on other planets,

right? It doesn't matter.

Kevin, you have to

get over this.

- No, I don't-- yes.

We were good together.

You know that.

I know that.

We were good.

And... I fucked it up.

I did, I just, I fucked it up.

But you fucked up, too,

'cause you threw it all away.

But that's okay,

'cause I love you...

Kevin...

And we can make this

go back to the way it was.

We can go back, Sarah.

I love you so much.

I'm pregnant.

[Breathing heavily] I can step it up. I can be responsible.

We don't have to live together,

but-- it isn't yours.

Are you sure? - It's not yours.

[Walking away, walking down staircase]

Rabbi: So, we have you penciled in for the 10th of February. Right.

- Some things to discuss-- the

specific time of the wedding,

which rituals will or will not

be part of your ceremony, and

the matter of the deposit.

Uh, my fiance's not here yet.

Understood.

Is he on his way?

- Beth: There you are. - Oh, hey. You were inside.

Yeah, we just started.

Shall we do this?

Wait...

[Background conversation] [Phones ringing]

...The summer, fall-- it's like we're not even gonna be there. We're gonna miss it, and all

because we're gonna be too busy

ordering tiramisu or something,

which I hate.

It's like, how did we decide

on tiramisu, anyway?

Or is it 1993 or something?

Hey, you.

What are you saying?

When we get married,

I don't... want this.

I don't wanna feel like this.

What I said last night was a little harsh.

- No-- you were so right.

I needed to hear it.

[Sighs] I think you're awesome.

You're not so bad

yourself, lady.

Do we have to do this

right now?

We don't have to do anything

that we don't want to do.

Okay?

Man on P.A.: 10 minutes,

we begin in 10 minutes,

the start of the show.

Attention, visitors,

10 minutes,

- Here, have some more--

it's on me.

[Punch thumps]

[Kick thuds]

[Cell phone ringing]

Hey, I need to talk to you. Where are you right now?

- Um-- do you know

the address here?

- [Pained] Ah. [Groans] - Sorry. I'm sorry.

I, sh... I don't do this.

I don't punch people.

Y'know, it's all right, man.

I don't blame ya.

You know, if I were you,

I would've-- well, I wouldn't

have done this, but I would've

been really upset too, you know.

She's an amazing person.

She is.

She's such an amazing person.

She's the best.

Yeah, she's the best

at breakin' hearts.

[Cell phone rings]

Oh, shit. No, here,

no, no, let me get that.

Hello?

That's wonderful.

Great, okay

What is it?

- Sure, the--

No, no, Sarah, over here. We have a question about your insurance.

We're not in network and

the doctor's not your G.P.,

but the good news is, if you're

not covered, then this might

count towards your deductible.

Okay, I, uh...

I did this, didn't I?

No... Beth... no.

[Tearfully] I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

It's okay, it is.

I'm sorry too, I really am.

We're postponing the wedding.

You can totally have

your baby now. [Sobs]

- I didn't mean it like--

God, I'm so sorry.

We're in an abortion clinic.

I know, God, I know.

I don't know what I'm doing,

I really don't.

It's like, I'm so fucking

irresponsible. No, no.

Hey, me, too, okay?

We're both fucked up.

It's okay, you know?

I'm sorry, we're a little too

busy crying to have an abortion

right now, okay?

Can you just--

can you give us a second?

Okay, here's the deal.

You do not have to make

this decision right now.

And you also don't have

to do it alone, okay?

You've got mom, you've got dad,

and you've got me, okay?

You're not alone.

[Crying] Thank you.

Thank you. Come on.

I love you, Beth.

Hey, man, I just want you

to know I'm entirely sympathetic

to your situation.

Dude, I'm just pissed

you don't suck. Thanks.

And don't forget to call

mom and benjie.

I won't.

But make sure that you

talk to benjie.

Look.

Oh, my God, ferd.

What happened to his face?

I'm okay

[Pained] Mm!

Sorry...

Oh God, I'm sorry,

Mmm...

That side's better.

That one?

[Chuckles]

Hi. Hey.

[Chuckles quietly]

Jonathan...