Original subtitles

that's my mum

i don't want you to see her who what cue

but what the powers would be

same model your pal michael uses i need

a sim card from it anything to take my

mind off the hellish torment

it's been inflicted on me in here what

would happen you know if if he was a spy

let's not think about that i'm not

supposed to talk to you i'm not supposed

to see you

i have been told the same thing i'm not

nicking it oh yes you are

i make you nervous don't i well you

don't peter rumor mill has it that

we're sleeping together where do we get

that idea

get in i think i'll walk thanks

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

hey

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

get out

wait where is this who are you

make yourself comfortable

none of the hopes are here to take your

call at the moment

leave a message and the time you rank

and we'll get back to you

it's me listen i've got myself into a

situation here

i'm willing

if everything happens i just want you to

know i love you brenda

i'm the girl

what's the matter what's up

can't sleep too much whizzing around my

brain

wait what that talk

oz and i had

we came up with this plan i mean it was

his idea really but i'm really up for it

it was all in the know the naught you

left uh ophelia

yeah yeah i mean it's a big decision for

her i know

but oh it's very romantic

and the thing is my boat sails tonight

well what's that got to do with it

[Music]

everything

[Music]

i expect you could do with a drink

what's

i happening what's going on what do you

think neville that's a rough guess

no idea because i've taken hostage and

you've been sent to pay the ransom

how much do you think you're worth

look ever since i've got the cuba

somebody's been yanking me chin

can you not just give us a straight

answer i mean how are these guys that

have grabbed us

they work for me as and when you

yes i'm not quite as uh

country life as you thought

it's been a tricky time for you out here

hasn't it with tarquin

you know about that i know you were

recruited by heather in london

and he's your contact out here another

secret

it is i know because i also work for

heather's people

that's our little secret tarquin is not

aware of that

i can't get my head around this

according to his reports

he's not using you for anything and we

know that's not true

you've had meets with him on several

occasions and he's had you buddying up

with michael [ __ ]

tonight he had you steal confidential

papers you know that

his man felipe is also ours we took a

look at them before he passed them on

i've got to talk to the ambassador i

don't think that's a good idea

not at four in the morning well who can

i trust

the point is neville you are now working

for me

you are not working for him who's he

working for

tarquin was always working for tarquin

he told me he was trying to find out

what the chinese would bid for some new

smallpox vaccine

that bit's true but not for the benefit

of the brits

he's freelancing on the open market i'm

sure he's planning to put aside little

nest egg in the cayman islands

and shag himself silly in the sun where

does this leave me

we need to rumble him there's quite a

lot to talk about

shall i see if i can rustle up some

sandwiches

[Music]

what

it's only five huh

oh did you do the dirty deed never mind

that my listen this scheme you've

hatched up with chrissy are you mad

no well it's up to ophelia

well if she says yes she could be on

your chris's board by tonight

childhood memories trip to the dentist

grey's knee in the schoolyard germany we

thought the hut was a prison

settle for it now don't do anything

different if tarkin wants to meet just

play along

tartling said it suits his boot at the

bango furry

took the attention away from me he

thought is that what you all think

no we want him out there

and why are they bringing all this heat

down on us and his girlfriend what's

that all about that's not the

authorities that brothers behind that

a brother he has connections in the

ministry but

this is purely personal it's not

political he doesn't want ours as a

brother-in-law

i could see his point lad i used to

think life was simple

get up go to work make a few modest

gains for your family

you knew who you were who your friends

were

life's not like that is it it's complex

and

devious

oh

hello i'm sorry to call you but i can't

get never on his mobile

thing is he left this message for me and

he sounded very strange

i've gone out early with a bed hang on

brenda just just calm down pet

right what do you mean very strange let

this peculiar message

about if anything happened to him i'll

go and wake him up okay

no i'm sure it's nothing just just hang

on that there

moxie moxie wait what

where's nev

where's nev

lev how should i know where was he not

were you last night

no why what's going on

brenda i know i forgot i i asked him to

go early and

pick up some timber yeah

well look don't worry pet no i'll get

him to ring you as soon as he comes in

okay pets ta-da

sorry i'm a bit worried about nevin i

steered out all arnold

not the only one was he did you do the

dirty deed them down

he's been acting pretty weird since he's

been out here i see him with some

oriental crowd the other night

yeah me too what's that all about what's

all what about

neville strange behavior

he's getting his underwear who gives a

[ __ ]

how's dennis field he's in regarding my

situation oh

they're using your mum right to come up

with this idea to smuggle the philia

out the boat with her what and how will

that work

she'd hide it in your mother's cabin and

then the boat sails tonight

and she gets up in the morning in

jumeirah this is just typical of my mum

to come up with something like this

you know the thing is if this all guns

pair shipped you know we're all in the

clothes

it would a million-dollar question

when a video go for it i don't know

i've sent her a note like explaining me

playing and asking out the meters

this is just totally extreme thought

with danger

anyone want an egg sandwich ah

hello hello hello hey were you gonna

just sneak in before you

snuck back rudy again what you're all

doing up

waiting for you more than what he said

you want to tell us where you've been

no we'll only speculate if you don't

paint blurry pictures in our

imaginations oh

booger off brenda run

what when well about half an hour ago

she said

you'd call her hey she was in the right

panic me

oh [ __ ]

hey it'd be no collecting timber

it don't ring on the next hour she's a

debbie's dance class

[Music]

showed up there supposing she does make

it

to jamaica you know on your joiner there

what are you going to do then

i am not going to do the visa

oh man for the embassy there i'm all ed

honor i'm saying you do get it back to

the northeast

well how do you think that'll work what

do you mean

well it's a bit of a culture shock isn't

it well just quick enough man

oh man seriously man i mean look at all

these

south american footballers right i mean

the same for the premier league

in one minute it's sunshine and samba

next minute

it's middlesbrough should be like one of

those exotic hot house orchids who turns

into a dandelion

hey do you want to be strolling your god

blood no i'm just saying

how could you inflict walls ends on a

gear like ophelia

what was it i was thinking pontiand

nice mock tuna with a monkey tree

okay so today's show excursion is

hemingway's havana

a guided tour of the literary lions

favorite haunts

she should meet us at three at la

bordegita

del medio that's b

[Music]

little we have to meet now i'm at work

yes i know you're at work just make an

excuse i can't right

i'll try and see it tonight

all

and when you leave the double life

that's what happens

who are you talking about you're

obviously having away with someone

you got a wife and family back here

lately

it's not right is it ah is that what you

think bomb

oh come on neville bubba wasn't born

yesterday i transgressed myself but

there's a cost

this one you think it's out of sight out

of mind

comes back and bites you the bum one day

i will get some work done

i'll use a lady i never was being aware

where's other weight now to talk it over

with the girl

talk run over oh you missed all this

didn't you

no hey you've got to stop us

this defection thing hisses it's insane

it's like to get us all in this [ __ ] and

it's not going to help barry's case is

it look i've tried talking to me won't

listen to me

well suppose she agrees first thing

she's going to do is get home

talk it over with her family right and

the blog causing all the bother years

that brother has

raul you are what the one that took us

to the center roofing

aye let's yell after all the work we did

on their gaff

it doesn't matter he's got the right

needle for us

and he can pull strings man he's got

connections if he finds out what's going

on he'll kick us off the island

and probably all of us too for being

part of his stupid bloody scheme

how do you know about all this yeah

because i've got connections too all

right

you've got connections to what sort of

uh

pilates we prove is it yeah

yeah that was it she told us now where

is he meeting ophelia we've gotta stop

it

well that's a dance academy they must

have met within walking distance so

just find out

[Music]

okay

mom what are you doing here why aren't

you at work because of you

listen this deal with us and ophelia

just ain't going to happen chrissy what

do you mean

mr lunacy what were you and i was

thinking don't shout at me i'm not

yes you are you're always shouting at me

look they're in love

they deserve to be together i i've got

it all sorted they can stay in my cabin

yeah we know all this

but when her brother finds out a whole

ton of crap is going to land on our

heads

i was just thinking of them i know mum

but you were way out of line

well i'm sailing tonight so uh you'll be

well shot of me

come on don't be like that i mean you'll

have a good trip and you'll enjoy

jamaica

go visit uncle percy

do i get a hug of course you do

[Music]

[Music]

i cannot do this thing else you must

know that

to change my whole life in six hours

is impossible

seemed like a good idea yesterday

this is not about what i feel for you

this is about me my family

my work my home yeah

i suppose it was a bit uh

reckless

you're a crazy man you are zorro

you get the mask and the cape and you

carry me off to the mountains

across the sea was what i had in mind

what did my brother say to you last

night i didn't talk to him about this

i will talk to him he has friends

what if they won't help then i will go

to the ballet and say will no longer

dance

no you can't do that yes i can these

stupid people telling me who i can't be

with

you've got some bollocks but i'll give

you that

when you're up on that stage you know

dancing

you look so

fragile but really

you're made out of tungsten thank you

where can i rent a cab

[Music]

well you're doing it we're all in town

looking for you you've got to abort the

whole thing off

all of murray bummer it's not gonna

happen oh

thank god for that i can't expect the

lassie to just

up sticks like that man even if the

ultimate prize is newcastle

i will sort something else going to talk

to what brother

us it's a brother who's behind breaking

the pair of you up

what what about that bastard that ravel

didn't fly no wrong with this when i was

up on his roof woke me bollocks off did

he

overprotective very latin very sad

devious well there's no harm done you

know if she got on that port man it

would have been catastrophic

i don't know how i ever let your mother

take us into

hang about she said it was your idea

well yes brother why didn't you talk her

out of me what you didn't tell his

mother four o'clock in the morning

all right you and your wild night are

passing here look it was a personal

private moment between two adult people

all right let's fill it up

but i'd be hugging off with you mother

[Music]

oh bullock got his here

we're gonna tell him

[Music]

going out for lunch now early no no no

we've been able to kick around in the

park football you've got to stay in

shape in this job you know

you know i'm bringing the ambassadors

away from it yes yes i do

this job better be in shape and on shed

your boys start

[ __ ] around and you'll be back on a

building site in the northeast

anyone want that no no no

better walk me through the side dennis

yeah right

oh i've got a message from proof for you

neville

oh yeah she wants you to meet her at the

drama society tonight

the drama society they're holding

auditions at six for she stoops to

conquer

all right fine dennis

[Applause]

she stoops to conquer what's that

it's a plea isn't it yeah me and tina's

trying out for that

when'd you get this age oh i've always

been interested in drama

have you not had my knowledge now i was

90 poor in the school mercado

now it's hanky-panky with pouchy peru

look i'm not allowed to have a private

life for me on

something i do just for myself i mean

what do the rest of you do with your

lives

sit around getting boozed up make bad

jokes

talk about football

so how's us taking it all then

we'll look better after being thrown in

is that what you're saying well i just

think it's their problem you know they

should sort it out themselves

all right then what about christy

and dennis

will you want to see me when you come

back to england well it's not for a

whale yet

that's not an answer were you happy

about what happened between us

of course yeah well why wouldn't you

want it to happen again

i'm pushing you i know that's just my

way and it's too late to change

okay i'll put this one down to the rom

and the sun and blame it on the bus and

all that no no no it's not that just

didn't help my situation you know

knowing there's six pairs of

eyes watching over every move and one of

them is your son

would i get back to england there i'll

be your building on

did you take it from there

very now let's leave it at that

so when will that be then

i know the strange reserve of his temper

is

such that if abruptly informed of it he

would instantly quit the house

before his plan before our plan was ripe

for execution

but thank you i have another line

we must move on let's hear tina and her

friend

yes

i don't think i got the part you were

nervous

it's because something's missing from

the documents you pinched

how do you know we extracted it

you did what did it tell you

what the chinese are bidding so

and you got everything you need to know

not quite

but i know dark was going to shock this

too and we don't know how much he's

compromised us before

so here's how we'll play what accident

how to describe this happy meeting

rather let me ask the same question

how are you going to tell ophelia i want

a brother

i don't know i can't risk ringing the

dance players again

if you ask me issue that sleeping dog's

life for a while

why good idea i'll play their game

make cars need contact knee notes

and then when a guard's down i'll whip

in whip ophelia off out of the country

somewhere

get married married hi why not we've

just

not yet but when the time's right this

isn't vegas you know

you need a permit here for everything

and if you're lucky enough to get one

you need another one

ophelia can handle up man she's a prima

donna or whatever they call it would

that make you a citizen

i don't know but i'd be marrying a cuban

national wouldn't i so they couldn't

argue

it's a hell of a change i could handle

it then

i like it here like the people like the

music

love the drink don't you want a gun back

home

well of course especially you know we're

being in the champions league

right i'll get some drinks

this isn't over yet

[Applause]

why couldn't you see me earlier i

couldn't

okay it's the panic

you didn't get everything i wanted

saying he didn't do a good job

but there's a crucial page missing from

the document oh no

i've got it what

i kept it back

what are you up to neville

heather ran me last week from london

spook house

why he said sorry

i haven't been activated but it buys me

time

in other words she knew sod all about

what we're up to

did you tell her good

well done you see neville

in this game you can't always let the

left hand know what the right hand is

doing

nice try but bollocks

we're gonna hope this around right is it

the yanks

the swiss are you just up to the highest

[Applause]

bidder

[Applause]

who put you up to this what do you mean

for christ's sake you're a thick bricky

from jordyland

not as thick as you think

when you've cut me in i wouldn't be a

britney anymore

cut you in i i want to meet your contact

i want to hear from him what he'll pay

for what i've got

[Applause]

she's at the dance academy do you know

where that is see

yes okay now make sure that you get this

because it's

like much your import time there it's no

problem sir no

all right cheers amigo okay bye

[Music]

adios

well just that there was something very

important but we'll have to discuss it

not i would be around this earthquake

tonight

on bended knee something like that

good to see you guys

play me

oh yeah i feel like she

looked like it too you know

oh yeah

i can't eat the food in here no

i just think except

you know and stuff that chrissy brought

in

she's a character chrissy guy

hi quite a character

she's gone

i wonder if i'll just have sex again

you'll have everything again my buddy oh

yeah

now i was thinking in the middle of the

night i already miss

our heart to hearts

you're very good to me very patient

didn't you unload me psyche well you did

i'm here with your body that's not gonna

change

there's a rumor that i'm gonna be

transferred to an ancient fortress on

the other side of cuba

forgotten man big beard down to me there

you say living on cockroaches

right buddy here's what i'm going to do

i'm going to go back and i'm going to

round the ladder i'm not going to go

to the embassy and we'll pull the

ambassadors off should i bear if i have

to we're going to tell them

that unless they get you out of here

we're gonna down tools

and we're gonna go home or if it doesn't

work

or you'll be out of the job wouldn't you

they'll still be in here

i was thinking of writing to tatyana

right you know so she knows that i

forgive her

why would you want to do that

just to make me peace you know

i don't think i'm ever going to get out

of here

i'm scared

[Music]

uh

[Music]

so

[Music]

hey

[Music]

you're not supposed to see my sister i'm

here to see you

can you feel any rain on your head raul

what no no or a draft whistling up your

ass

no because me and my friends fixed your

roof

fixed the holes in your walls came

around here in our own spare time and

fixed everything

we are very grateful for this yeah

you've got a strange way of showing it

paul

you know if you had a problem with me

seeing your sister

why didn't you just say it to my face

yeah

then we could have sorted it out man

manu

instead of all that bollocks with

pebbles and shells you know nothing of

santeria

i know why you invited us to that fiesta

you hoped would all get whacked

yeah walloped disgrace for ourselves and

get sent to him well my mate buddy was

the victim of that

and he's in jail get this out of my

hands

bollocks it's your fault he's in there

and you have the power to get him out i

wish i had that power

you had the power to bollocks things up

between me and your sister

every nerve end in my body is telling me

to do

one thing smash that

right into your teeth

but i'm not gonna do that

no i'm gonna make your proposition roll

you use your connections to get barry

out the jail

and i'll not see your sister ever again

well

you will make this promise yes

you bastard i will

[Music]

what is going on a mom brings me a note

then i see you at rehearsal and you

[Music]

disappear

[Music]

in your notes you say you have something

important to tell me

what is that

[Music]

i wanted to say goodbye

so

[Music]

they're transferring me aren't they

tell them i don't want to go luis

i like it here i got used to it tell

them

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

oh

[Music]

thank you what's your gracious

no you've been very kind but very

understanding

bueno fortuna come on bob we've got a

little waiting for you

all right

at least it will be once you've had a

bath

i've got it um what doesn't kill me

makes me stronger sounds like you too

i it was a philosopher but a bit of

trouble in it i mean

everything is you know i mean i i went

through the whole catalogue of emotions

you know disbelief panic paranoia but

but i'm still here you know i'm not

going to wake up in the middle of the

night

the abj b's i survived you know you

go through a thing like that what else

is ever going to possibly bother you

anymore

baldness relocation

it's true though sorry through adversity

i mean find something in injury didn't

know existed

yeah i don't know prison improved me

did it hell well it's like barry said

i found an inner strength and i took a

sheet metal course

i'll tell you what name buddy you'll not

need that string anymore not the silver

bubba too

you're right there mate now i'm just

gonna wake up every morning and say it's

a beautiful day

now that is youtube i know that one when

i was inside i promised myself something

i said when i get out of here i'm going

to do things i've never done before

you know i like climb kilimanjaro take

tango lessons

go and gliding no we all should

break down the barriers of the bowser

and the hoods and

in british life of a capital l

better take this outside it's been noisy

in here i'll

give my love to brenda

i'm not sure that was brother i was

going on there

have i been missing something i've got a

guinea pig

but i think you knew that

i'm not hearing it

what do you want you should be pleased

to see me

come with me nate i want to ask you

something about your mates neville

before we go any further do they know

what you're up to

of course not not even one of them

give you some backbone a bit of moral

support

you don't strike me as the lone ranger

yeah well i am

look i've got a wife and three kids

that's why i have to work all over the

world

i'm sick of it i want some sodium money

in

now do we have a deal or not

saturday you can meet the third party

i'll let you know when and where oh

oh

did i have him

[Music]

oh

hi so what's the situation with the

the lovely failure it's finished

we say it's over

kaput

oh that's a shine oh

it's a shame that is because he was

smitten

what you'll finish with ophelia he comes

out the nick

and my brother's got friends in high

places am i connecting the right dots

didn't have a choice monday not after i

saw him in that

[ __ ] tour

it's a hell of a price to payment

um i'll put it down to experience here

that's what you get when you don't get

what you want

what's this it's a shape meeting well

enough keep

i was gonna grab a quick show before i

get off somewhere no i won't keep sit

down

what do you want to talk about about you

nev the object of this meeting is to

talk about you

it's like if you were a drug addict this

would be an intervention

that's what they called it to say now

you sit there and we tell you what an

awesome you've been

i don't have to listen to this yes you

have

look you've been acting very peculiar

ever since you got here

and we all know you're bonking that pro

hey that's my concern

no it's not man look we all know brenda

you're the last marriage left man what's

going on

and then there's all that other stuff

what other stuff

him and me have seen you out with

chinese people

not that we got anything against chinese

people mind it's just very strange that

you prefer to go out with them and not

with us

and tina said you've been hanging out

with that talking bloke all the time

what you and him got in common eh what

about this mystery phone call

brenda i mean she's only like you've

been kidnapped or something

look there's reasons for all this but

it's personal it's private uh mary's

there is never but

how do you explain this yeah

where'd you find that oh

under your maples you've got no rape

come on throw my things your things

hold on a second i'm not exactly sure

what that thing is that is the manual

souvenir shirt

from when the wounded champions league

you were in a bar one night he told me

not to tell none of you

why'd you do that nev hi what would have

driven you to that kind of deception

all this time then we've been living

with a closet my new fan

look if you remember i never wanted to

come on this job

leave home again but when i went to the

lake district with

the girls you know i was approached by

british intelligence

nice try now but you'll have to do

better than that look it's

true man why do you think i'm here it's

the only reason you love it here

see i turned them down then they said

that if i played ball

we'd get the gig i'm not supposed to see

any of this to you

i've signed the official secrets act if

you blab about this

i could be shot for treason or whatever

it is they do

you're really serious aren't you why do

you think they changed their mind about

us

well you did that you went back in there

and i made a phone call

and the only dated a complete one yet in

the time it took us to get a round of

drinks in

bloody hell never spy

i've hated every minute of it lying to

only you lying to me wife

why they pick on you neville i suppose

because

i'm the least lately just ordinary

not anymore you could write your memoirs

they might only publish them in

australia then

i'm not even very good at it i had the

doctor blocks drink one night

you know not no drops go away

else teeth that's bloody hardcore

i'll try it myself

[Music]

i'm glad this is happening really

[Music]

it's been a terrible stream

[Music]

i'm really glad you did this really

thanks let it all come out now

don't hold anything back i think this is

where we should all vlog

[Music]

you look like you're bloody sopranos

[Music]

big relief doorway yeah

i bet you feel like you've just passed

the bowling ball

oh something like that

okay see now yeah you want speed this

time mate

that's me off wishes look what's the

plan exactly

well we're meeting in the square by the

cathedral they'll have some cameras

somewhere i think

they're trying to flush out targets

contact and then color them both i

suppose

anyway i've told them after that i'm

done there he is

navs of steel and ice in his veins the

comfort and bulge of a smith

wesson tucked under his left armpit the

name's hope

neville hope piss off the marks i button

it bluefield

i know you go now oh i'll be having a

drink with a lot tonight

but i'm not

[Music]

do

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

it's done he's leaving stay with until

he reaches the car

ah

we've lost him oh [ __ ]

i can see him clear

[Music]

we can climb up that oh hang on man that

scaffolding's here to hold the building

up

climb up that could fetch the whole lot

coming you know well that's the only one

we're going to find out

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oh

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are you working with

who are you working with have you got

your phone on your

phone hi give never belt oh

ah where's that coming from

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over here

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now you will tell me who caught you on

the telephone

tell me my friend go call you who knows

about you

come on i've already told you guys

tell me

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oh yes and where do you think you're

going

what is your common intervention now

let's talk about this week

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you've already got a photo id of

tarquin's contact

he sounded american he is

name's frank chesser what is he

wheeler dealer middleman he'd be the one

who'd shot your info to the drug

companies

so who put them goons onto us tarquin

cutting you in must have pissed him off

against his principles

what will happen to him nothing good

neville

what happened to me i want out i really

do

no more than you deserve and uh

thanks neville sorry we nearly blew it

today

fortunate wasn't it that your friends

were around

yeah coincidence

no idea why they were there at that

precise moment

they went to the fiesta and they want me

to meet some women i should think

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you know when someone's done something

like you haven't have the government

usually rewards them

you mean reward well you know something

off the owners list

obe kgb mgb something like that

no no no no that's perfectly possible

nev

they wait a few years like then your

name will pop up on the birthday's

honest list

or they'll describe it to something else

of course services to bricklin

yeah you could have your own coat of

arms never the brickley is armed

i mean you're brenda she fancy a day

down the palace wouldn't she

got a spring for a new hot nev it's not

gonna happen man

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kenny if it did go put aye

it will stick with escort e.d well made

i'll end up with summit

yeah i'm in no hurry to leave cuba yeah

we need it well i still think we should

do more to absorb the cultural heritage

of this place

take advantage of it over here

bought my smoke cigars and we drink rum

and moxie races guinea pigs what else is

that i was thinking more of something

that would initiate us

into the ritual of cuban more

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foreign

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foreign

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is

you