All language subtitles for Animal.Control.S02E01.Raccoons.and.Mutts.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-MADSKY_track4_[eng]

It's mating season, Shred.

Birds do it mid-air,
frogs attached to other frogs,

a lot of dumpster humping.

Love is in the air.

[scoffs]

Love doesn't exist.

Are you still moaning
about Emily?

It's been months.

She blew up my heart, Frank.

You weren't even together.

Well, I can't believe
she chose Rick.

You never even told her
you liked her.

Yeah, well, regrets,
I have a few!

Alright, that's it.
Get out.

I'm in a rare good mood
and you're bringing me down.

Get out.

I'm not getting out, ok?

I'm not on probation,
we are now partners.

Things have changed.

Well, I'm a senior partner
so I make the rules.

Get out.

Senior partner is not
a recognized category

according to department
regulations.

I checked.

Regulations also state

that you have to have
a stain-free uniform.

Childish.

[chuckles]

Yeah, it's childish
and deeply satisfying.

[Dispatch] All available units,

report of raccoons in a bowling
alley, 21 Capen Street.

Truck 12 responding,
two minutes out.

[Dispatch] Word of caution:
the raccoons appear to be inebriated.

That's kind of fun.

[upbeat music]

They came in through the A/C
duct and hit the bar.

These guys all 21?

Yeah, this reminds me
of the X Games afterparty,

but with less raccoons.

These guys all 18?

Frank already made the
American version of that joke.

[slap]
Nice.

Oh god.
Guys, is he...

Satisfying a very
specific fetish?

[chittering]

Welcome to mating season,
everyone.

This is why I own my own ball.

Hey!

Woah! Alright.

Let's get these trash pandas
in the truck.

Hey! Woah!

I want my little friend
in lane 23.

Ok, raccoon.

You know what?

It's a lot of paperwork
and wildly inhumane.

Come on, I'll let you throw
a ball at Shred.

It's not the same.

Shred, you seeing this?

[yelps]

- We need quarters.
- Yeah.

- Do you have quarters?
- Uh...

There's more in the arcade.

You get the claw.
I got the arcade.

If the kitchen's open
tell ‘em to start frying.

I'm coming back hungry.

[arcade games bleeping]

Hey, little buddy.

Going for a high score?

[thud]

[theme music plays]

♪

Oooh. Should I book the suite
with the private hot tub?

Probably not.

Too late, it's booked.

Seven glorious days
and nights in Kauai.

It's on the rainy side
but I got a good deal.

Sorry, can a pregnant woman
even go in a hot tub?

Yeah, she can do a light soak
up to the mid-calf.

Oh, lucky her.

A Baby Moon is not just
for the mother.

Yeah, but she's doing
all the hard work.

What're you pushing out
of your vagina?

She booked none of this,
no planning.

The hotel, the zip-line,
the massages, that was all me.

I need a vacation, ok?
It's just--

This pregnancy is just...
[exhales] It's killing me.

Hey.

Hey.

Look at this guy.

You and Rick didn't get
a dog, did you?

‘Cause that'd be--

That's-- I mean, that's a big
commitment.

No, I found him wandering
in the parking lot.

I'm gonna get him scanned,
see if I can find his family.

Oh, ok.
Well um, good luck.

He's super cute.
Alright, see you around.

Oh yeah, just keep
staring longingly.

That'll get it done.

Oh, don't break eye contact.
It'll break the spell.

I hope he finds a home

so he don't get creeped out
by you anymore.

He wasn't creeped out.

Hey, I forgot to tell you,
Victoria and I got Arkansas.

That's 46 license plates for us
which puts us in the lead.

Arkansas?

[Patel] Mmhmm.

No, you didn't.

We totally did,
because up until now

I thought it was pronounced
“Ar-kansas ”.

It's not, and I'm very confused
as to how it's not.

And you just happened
to forget to tell us

that you got one of the most
elusive license plates,

only topped by a plate from
Puerto Rico or American Samoa?

Are you calling us liars?

I'm calling you lying sacks
of liars.

Yeah, and I don't like to use
the L word but right now

both of your pants are on fire.

Ok, new rule.

The license plate does not count
unless it is accompanied

by a photo taken from inside
the truck.

Because, again, dirty,
lousy liars.

I'll take the photos.

Alright, everyone, listen up.

Hey, your smallness?
It has no effect on me.

In two weeks I'm gonna be
lounging on the beach

in a tropical paradise.

Hey, speaking of the beach-

Yeah. You'll be soaking
in the rain, tight wad.

Intermittent showers.
It's actually lovely.

She said “listen up ”.

Thanks, Bettany.
Um, I can take it from here.

Alright. The floor is yours.

Ok. Um, actually,
one small thought.

I know you've just been our
receptionist for a few weeks,

you're doing so great.
You go above and beyond,

um, but sometimes it's like you
go above and beyond

above and beyond.

Oh, copy.

Egg bites are on your desk.

Ok.

Um, tremendous job
at the bowling alley.

I know it's easy to forget
but what we do here

is vital to the city.

And Patel, you should
probably get a rabies shot.

I'm still good for a few months.

Oh right, the bats.

I forgot.

Diego.

Hi, what're you doing here?

Uh, there's something I need
to talk to you about.

Yes, oh my god, you called me.
I'm so sorry.

What's up?

Uh, I met someone.

And I want a divorce.

Oh...

[Shred] Divorce?

Guess we're not in
Arkansas anymore.

[Diego] I'm sorry, I shouldn't
have blindsided you like that.

No, it's ok.

[laughing]

Good to see you, Diego.

Ok, see ya.

What the hell?

You're married?

Guys, relax.
It isn't a real marriage, ok?

Diego is a DJ at a club
that I used to go to,

and I just needed
a green card

so, like, it made sense for us
to just do the thing.

But there aren't supposed to be
any secrets in the cab.

I shared my colonoscopy
results with you.

You shared that with everyone.
At lunch.

In color.

You all had to go through
the prep with me,

I owed you the payoff.

Polyp free.

[all] Polyp free.

Uh, not so fast.

Coffee is for naturalized
citizens only.

Are you ok?

I mean, no, not really.
I'm kind of freaking out.

If I can't find another way
to get a green card

I'm gonna get kicked out
of your stupid country.

You should talk to Emily

‘cause I think the department
could sponsor you.

Wait, really?
Do they do that?

You know, I'm not sure,

but I am sure that I'm not gonna
visit you in New Zealand.

It's way too far away.

But, tell you what,
meet you halfway. Portland.

You should be nicer to me.
I just got divorced.

Wha-- hi, Rick.

Hi.

I came by to score a few
extra boyfriend points.

What're you up to now, Rick?
Three?

Oh, probably not that many.
But I do my best.

Ha, and he's humble.
He's the whole package.

We love Rick.

[laughs]

Awe, are these peonies?

They look like the ones we saw
at the flower market.

The same ones we saw
at the flower market.

Someone may have doubled back,
I don't know.

That's how you do it, people.

That's the kind of attention
this lady deserves.

Or is it too on the nose,
Bettany?

I'm kidding.

It's so amazing you keep
showering Emily with gifts.

Come here.

Wait, come on.

Oh! Oh!

Careful!

Don't wanna crush ‘em.
Don't wanna crush those.

I hate Rick.
I hate him.

He always tries to act like
he's such a great dude.

He is a great dude.

I know he's a great dude!

Everyone knows
he's a great dude.

I mean, he used eucalyptus
in that bouquet, Frank.

That's a quality filler.

I wish I could throw you
out of the truck right now,

preferably in motion.

You and I are not meant to be
on equal footing.

Well, get used to it.

It's unnatural.

Why are you always so critical?

I've told you about my dad.
I'm toning it down.

Don't even get me started
on the fact

that we've literally
never hugged.

Alright, Shred.
You win.

What the--
No, not the hug.

Look, clearly what I've been
doing is not shutting you up,

so what's gonna take
your mind off Emily?

Whatever that is,
that's what we're doing today.

Really?
Like my own special day?

Like a Shred's Day?

More like a long lunch,
but sure.

Whatever I want, you promise
not to judge me?

Oh, absolutely not.

Would you ask Michelangelo
not to sculpt?

I thought he was more
of a nunchuck guy.

Not the Ninja Turtle.

I know!

This is amazing!
I feel better already!

Excuse me, coming through.
It's Shred's Day.

Woo! Woo!

Come on, Frank!
Join me!

Get some air, it's fun!

I've already bribed them to let
two childish adult men in here.

I've done enough.

Come on, double bounce me!
I need more height!

Double bounce me!

Woo!

[Emily] I'm not gonna let you
get deported.

I don't want to lose you
as an officer or as a friend,

so I will call right now.

Thank you.

Line two, Rhonda, HR.

Wow, thanks Bettany.

She's so good.

Yeah. Rhonda, hi.

Yeah, we have a bit
of a situation.

Uh, one of my best officers
might lose her green card

and I'd like to know
the protocol

for the department
to sponsor her.

Oh, what?
Uh, wait, really?

We can't?

What?
What is she saying?

Put-- put her on speaker.

[Rhonda] So animal
control officers

are not considered
essential workers.

Oh, uh, no.

We are vital to the life
of the city.

Then who is considered
essential, huh?

[Rhonda] Police, firefighters
of course, anything IT related,

and sanitation workers.

So basically every public
service but us?

[Rhonda] Hold on a sec,
just looking at my list.

Yes, correct.
Everyone but you.

Now, is there anything else
I can help--

[slams phone down]

I'm sorry.

I'm gonna- I'm gonna figure
something out.

Or I will become a smoking
hot garbage man.

Is Rhonda being an issue?

- Yeah.
- No.

Yeah.

Central office, blue
Nissan Leaf, right?

You don't need to do
anything, Bettany.

Sounds like Rhonda.

Oh yeah, I hear you.

You don't want me to do
anything to Rhonda or her car.

No.

And it's important
as my supervisor

that you get it
on the record.

Yeah, ok.

Why is she smiling like that?

Bettany! Bettany!

She's great.

I touched the roof, Frank.

I haven't gotten that much air
since my snowboarding days.

You know, I gotta admit, when
you collided with those toddlers

it put a smile on my face.

It was funny.

And now be prepared
to have your mind blown

by the best waffles
in the city.

Oh, and you can turn this menu
into a crown.

I am the king of Shred's Day.

Oh god.

Please, just “king ”.

Ok, don't look, but the server
over there...

The one taking orders from
those uncrowned gentlemen?

That's the woman
that ghosted me.

That's Yasmine?
Go talk to her.

I'm not gonna talk to her.

Frank, it's serendipity.
You have to.

You helped me with Emily
and the universe,

which I know you don't believe
in this kind of thing,

rewarded you.

No, it was humiliating.

I told everyone she left town
but the truth is

I took her to a Seahawks game

and she went to go get
a Hawk's Nest dog

and never came back.

Forever retaining
your association

with your favorite team.

She's looking over here.

Oh god. It's my crown
that draws the eye.

Frank?

Oh, hey Yasmine.

I was hoping that I'd run
into you one day.

I felt so terrible about
what happened.

Oh, that's ok.

I'm sure you've heard by now,
we beat the Broncos.

[laughs]

Well, I owe you an apology.

That's not-- Yes, you do.
You actually do.

Listen, I'm in the middle
of lunch rush.

Is there any chance that maybe
we could grab a drink later

and I could explain myself?

Yeah, sure.

Okay.

I mean, once I'm done
with this Make-a-Wish kid.

Hmm?

[laughs]

He's a grown man.
That's my partner.

That's your part-- Right.

[knocking]

[Emily] It's open.

Professional courtesy.

Me and some of the men
from the 2-3

are here to requisition
some dog food.

Not that I need your permission

‘cause it's coming straight
from the top.

Just take it all.

What's with the sad
sack situation?

Boss lady down?

I just thought I was doing
something meaningful

with my life

but I just found out what we do
here is considered inessential.

Hmm. I would have gone
with pointless.

It applies to you, too,
Templeton.

There's only one opinion
that matters to me

and that's the guy
in the mirror.

And he gives me a thumbs up,
and sometimes a kiss.

Ok. I just...

I don't know, I wanted
this job

'cause I wanted to make
a difference.

There's a position
at the rec center

working with the blind kids.

What?

Not sure they're all the way
blind but they're blind enough

that they don't let them
play sports.

I'm not quitting my job.

Yet.

Just so you know, I'm warming up
in the bullpen

for when Rhonda's ready to bring
in the right-hander.

Nighty-night.

Why does Diego want to get
married so bad anyway?

He told you, he's fallen in love

and wants to spend the rest
of his life with her.

[scoffs]

[vomiting sound]

I mean, like, now I have
to apply for citizenship.

I'm a really terrible
test-taker.

There's no way I'm gonna
be able to memorize

all of the presidents or learn
all the rules of parliament.

Uh, we don't have a parliament.

You don't have a parl--
are you--

No.

There's no wigs?

No, no wigs.

Oh my god, I'm definitely gonna
fail this thing.

Yeah, that's very likely.

[Hawaiian-themed
cell phone ring]

Hello, my Polynesian princess.
How's the doctor's office, baby?

Oh no. Oh no.

I'm so sorry.

Yeah, ok. I love you, baby.
Bye.

Is everything ok?

Yeah, everything's fine.
Fine.

They're-- it's just
a precaution.

They're putting her on bed rest
until the baby's born.

Ok.

Which means no Hawaii.

Oh.

Now I'm sitting on a fully paid
non-refundable trip.

Oh, why would you make it
non-refundable?

Because I'm an idiot, do you
pay any attention to me at all?

My house is a very
delicate ecosystem.

It barely works with
two functioning parents,

now I've gotta do
everything myself

for the next three months.

We're talking the shopping,
we're talking the cooking--

Is this gonna be a long rant?

Medium to long, yes.

- Good.
- Yes.

We're talking the dishes,
we're talking the-

Laundry, bed time, bath time,
trips to Payless,

then return trips to Payless
‘cause your kid says the shoes

are making his ankles itch.

You hear me, Diego?

That's two trips to Payless,
zero shoes.

My point is, you fall in love,
you get married, you have kids,

you'll never frolic

in the turquoise clear
water ever again!

Exactly.

And you love the beach.

Do you?

He does.
He's a big beach guy.

Then say bye.

How do you feel about urine-
filled kiddie pools, Diego?

How do you feel about that?

‘Cause that's where
you'll be frolicking, big boy.

Look, Victoria, I'm...

I'm sorry about
your green cards.

And the last thing I ever wanted
to do is cause you any problems.

But... I'm in love.

[sighs]

I am, too.

God help us.

No.

You had one job!

Hey.

That dog you brought in
had a chip in it.

They were able to find
the family.

Wait, really?

Yeah, and uh, we're
all good on Rhonda.

What does that mean?

It means it's one less thing
on your plate.

Oh, it wasn't on my plate.

Wait, Bettany, it wasn't
on my plate.

I-- I didn't have a plate.

[barking]

Hi!

He ran away from the groomer,

we were afraid we'd never
find him!

[Mother] We were so scared.

[Daughter] We love you, Goosey.

Heading home, boss.

Bye.

- Um, actually, Shred?
- Uh...

Hey, are you ok?

I just feel like you've been
a little down lately.

Oh, yeah, no, I'm good.

It's probably just ‘cause
it's been so grey lately.

You know, oh Seattle.

Ah, I know, right?

Yeah, we just haven't been
talking as much, I guess,

and I miss hanging out with you
in the kitchen.

Really?

Yeah.

It's just weirdly not as fun
to split an Oreo by myself.

I-- I've just been avoiding
the snack drawer,

so that's what that is.

Oh. Oh, ok.

Yeah, I think I was kind of
in my head a little.

Oh, no.

Don't get in your head
about me ever.

We're good. We're great.
Totally.

Ok.

Coming through, real men
doing real work.

Watch your six.

That's, like, a lot of dog food.

That's, like, all the dog food.

[Yasmine] I missed you.

Well, I've been here.
Same number.

I think this is
the same sweater.

Well, I know it doesn't make it
any better

but I guess I kinda freaked out
because I really liked you.

It's a pattern,
if I'm being honest.

I guess I'm kinda
a lone wolf.

That's the silly nickname
I gave myself.

I know.

‘Cause I hate people.

‘Cause they're the worst.

They're all stupid.

They're terrible.

So dumb.

They're so annoying.

Morons.

Overrated.

[soft piano music plays]

I'm gonna open another
bottle of wine.

Yeah.

But, like, a good one.

This last one was crappy
because I was mad at you.

Ah. There's the petty Frank
that I remember.

[glasses clink]

Mmm.

Ugh, it's just awful.

Go ahead. [chuckles]

I'm gonna open this bottle that
I bought in Napa when we went.

We should go there again.

I've got some vacation days
coming up.

Oh, so we're dating again?

If you're in, I'm in.

Uh, why don't you bring
that bottle into the bedroom.

I usually don't allow
food or drink in there

but in this case I'll make
an exception.

Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

I opened my best bottle of wine!

[sighs]

Emily says I'm in her head.
That's a direct quote.

I am so on her radar I actually
feel kinda bad for Rick,

even though I hate him.

But you were right, Frank.
Love is in the air.

I don't believe in love.
I was dead wrong.

Uh-oh.
The date didn't go so well?

No, it was great until
she fled the scene.

Again?

She literally crawled out
my four-story window.

I don't even know
if she survived.

Buddy, that's terrible.
But you know what this means.

Oh, that not kicking you out
of the truck yesterday

was the inflection point

upon which my entire
sad future turns?

It means, as your full
and completely equal partner,

it is now my turn
to cheer you up.

It's officially Frank's Day.
What do you wanna do?

Let's drive off the next bridge
we pass.

Ok, uh, do you have
a second choice?

One that doesn't also kill
your good buddy Shred?

Look, I know you're
stressed, so...

Everything you need to know
for your citizenship test.

- It's fricken' huge!
- Yeah.

How is this supposed to make
me less stressed?

I'll help you.

Oh, wait.
You guys were in World War II?

We'll all help you.

I've never been here before.

It really is the best espresso
in the city?

Yeah, but you have to order
in an Italian accent.

Really?

Yeah, don't embarrass me.

Of course your job is essential.

It makes me mad that Rhonda
said that.

She's had a big head
ever since her aunt

was on Wheel of Fortune.

Well, I'm feeling much better
since yesterday

but it's still very sweet of you
to take me out.

This place really lives up
to the hype, right?

Frank told me about it.

And then he threatened me if
I told anyone else about it.

Great.

- That should have been my mid
- morning Italian coffee date.

It should have been my kiss.
I hate mating season.

I can't believe you're moaning
about this again.

It's insufferable.

You can't kick me out again,
Frank.

Oh, I'm not.
I'm kicking myself out.

I'm out of moves.

Oh my god, is that...

What?

There!

[Frank] Vermont.

Vermont!

Oh my god, it is!

That's 46!
We're all tied up!

Yeah!

Woo!

Wait, we need a picture.

Oh, yeah.
Let me fix my hair.

Of the car, Frank.
We need proof.

[Frank] Right, right, right.
They're getting away!

We gotta go!

Go, go, go!
This is a miracle!

Out of my way, pedestrians!
We got Vermont!

Woo!