Original subtitles

Uh... can you wait until I'm fully belted

before pulling into traffic?

No, it takes you too long.

So I should get launched through the windshield?

I'm not sure the punishment fits the crime.

[Dispatch] Truck 8. Report of a crab loose and aggressive at a residence.

728 Alistair Circle.

Truck 8 responding.

I'm here alone and...

well, it's really snapping those claws.

[Victoria] It's okay. We'll get him.

What? Oh... a knife.

Oh my God!

It's got a knife.

Yeah. Um... do you have a bucket?

Yeah.

What? Why? What are you doing?

How often do you get to duel a crab?

It's hilarious.

En garde.

Take that! And that!

[Victoria chuckles]

And that!

Oh!

It got me!

[groaning]

Everything's fine, just stay calm.

You gotta call 911!

Hang on.

[Patel] I can't move my leg!

See how I did that and still managed to preserve my dignity?

[opening title theme song]

♪

♪

Alright boys.

Good luck with that pow-pow in Telluride.

[Finnish accent] This weekend was crunchy, bro.

[Shred] Super crunchy.

So good to hang.

So good.

Ah, I'm gonna miss you guys!

[all laughing]

[Shred] Bye-bye.

I'm gonna miss those guys.

I'm not gonna lie.

I lost a lot of brain cells listening to that conversation.

[chuckles]

Well, we had this whole crew when I was still on tour, and...

I just, I miss my boys, you know?

But Hanky hooked me up with some hockey tickets.

He's friends with the Finnish goalie.

It's tonight, right on the glass.

You wanna go?

Ah, can't. I've got basketball.

And it's play-offs, baby. Can you feel it?

Against Sanitation, right?

Yeah.

I hope you get after it.

Oh, we have to.

They blew us out last year.

And they're one of the few departments

that we can look down upon.

Them and parking enforcement, but they suck at basketball,

they call fouls on themselves.

Wow.

Okay. Uh, Patel's at Urgent Care

meaning he's out for the day.

So, that would be marking the very first time a crab

has caught a case of the persons.

[Shred laughs]

Stupid free rimshot app.

Um... how's the crab?

Uh, yeah.

It had a moment of glory and then it went down

in a blaze of melted butter.

Okay, heads up everyone!

I've got two free tickets to the Kraken game tonight,

right on the glass.

First person to say "in" gets to go with me.

Starting... now.

Unless anyone would like to draw out this awkwardness,

I say you call the meeting.

There we go.

Here's me and the boys eating barbecue.

Me and the boys taking down a pizza.

Ooh! The boys and me going to town on some gelato.

Wow. Well, I curse your documentation,

but I am in awe of your metabolism.

I'm gonna send these to Camila.

She loves pictures of me eating, Frank.

[Dispatch] Truck 12.

We have a report of a fox at Xavier Skate Park

at 3245 Olive Street.

Truck 12 responding.

Do you want a burrito?

I'm not gonna be able to finish this third one.

God, I can't wait for you to age.

[knock at door]

Surprise.

Hey!

What are you doing here?

Well, I remember you said the turf was in rough shape

after that Great Dane had diarrhea.

So I talked to the hardware store

and I got 'em to donate some.

- No! - Yeah.

You're incredible. Wait, how?

Never underestimate a man with one ear.

Oh... okay.

[laughing]

If it's cool with you, I can go lay it down.

And full installation? I'm sorry. Yes.

[both laughing]

I mean, what can't you do?

Ask you out.

What?

You asked what I can't do.

I only got the turf so I could come in here and ask you out.

Oh.

I mean, it's not like I don't care about the turf.

You know, I made 'em give us the extra springy kind.

It's, like, crazy springy.

Oh.

If you get a chance,

you should go out there and take a bounce on it.

Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?

Rick, I would love to have dinner with you tonight.

Great.

Do you like French food?

Uh... mais oui.

Oh, wow. Okay. Perfect.

Okay. Well, I'll see you tonight.

Perfect.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Alright.

Okay.

[indistinct conversations]

There it is.

Little guy's been there all morning.

Head's up, he's wily.

We got it.

Can you guys figure this out? We need to skate.

What happens if you don't skate?

You bumble into some productivity?

Is your whole day shot

'cause you're getting things done?

Dude...

Wait. I got an idea.

Sir. I need to respectfully requisition this buttery deck.

Get after it, man.

No doubt.

Ugh.

Frank... cover me.

[Frank] Go ahead.

Yeah, I've done this so many times.

[crowd] Whoa!

Come on!

[Frank] Come here.

[Frank] Go, go, go! There he is.

[Frank] Shred, there he is right there. Come on.

[Frank] Come here.

Come here.

Shred, get him! Go, go!

There he is.

Shoot the net!

I'm going to have a heart attack.

Shoot the net!

I'm coming! I'm coming!

[cheers]

Yo! That was epic, man.

[Shred] Sit tight, little buddy.

You really got the moves.

Thanks, man.

I'm Shred, by the way.

Cool.

Okay.

You okay, Frank?

[out of breath]

[grunts]

Alright. You know there's a set of stairs right over there.

No, no, no. I'm good, I'm good, I'm good.

Here.

Dude, do you need some help?

I did a big, uh... leg workout this morning

like, drop sets and all that.

[grunts]

Do not assist me!

You're almost up.

Let... me... go!

Hey Victoria. You got a sec?

Yeah. What's up?

I'd love to get your female perspective on something.

Hit me.

Uh... I'm taking Emily out tonight.

Look at you.

Making all the moves with your new ear.

I'm actually pretty nervous about the whole thing.

I haven't dated since...

[both] The mauling.

The mauling,

Yeah.

And I really want it to go awesome

so I thought I'd just run something by you.

Mmhmm.

Hey.

Rick's taking you to Canada for your date.

[chuckles] What?

What?

Yeah. Okay.

You mentioned a preference for French food

so he's taking you by rail to Jean Jacques in Whistler.

He asked me to pack you a bag and your passport

and not to tell you anything.

I'm sorry.

Does he think that we're spending the night together?

No. He's booked separate rooms.

It's a very pure, unbelievably romantic gesture by a man

who's not entirely sure how to spend his settlement money.

Okay. I'm sorry, that's insane.

Is it?

I mean, I've had guys take me to Dubai.

I really need to have

a conversation with you about safety.

I feel like this is, like, a lot for a first date.

Okay.

Do you wanna go out with him?

Yeah. Yeah, I think... I think so, totally.

Doctor Summers is waiting.

Are you bringing the bird back or not?

Oh yes, I'm sorry. Here we go.

Oh, so you have a 911 and then lallygag?

Okay. You're quite confrontational.

I've only met you, like, two times.

Got you.

Just let me know how many times we have to interact

before I can speak my mind.

I'm just gonna say it, I kinda love him.

[whispers] What do I do about Rick?

Hey Frank, got a second to talk about the game?

Oh, Templeton.

You know I don't recognize your authority as coach.

Yeah. Players voted me as coach.

You bought the uniforms. You didn't get my vote.

I'm just gonna rip the band-aid off, Frank.

I'm benching you.

[scoffs] No.

Honestly, I've been debating this for a while,

then I saw footage of you at the skate park

and it's like you grew old... right in front of my eyes.

Look, first of all, I'm not old.

And second,

I totally wailed on my legs workout this morning.

Um... my decision is final.

It's a pretend decision from a pretend coach.

[whistle trills]

I have a whistle.

It's not sad at all,

that you walk around the offices wearing a whistle.

Yeah, well, game day so I wear it.

Anyway, Frank, the band-aid has been ripped.

Do not blame me for what time has done to you.

I'm gonna go grab some food 'cause we're out.

Jeez.

Okay.

Oh... okay. It's a charley horse there.

Ugh.

Does anyone have any, uh, Ibuprofen?

[hammering]

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Victoria told you about Canada.

Yeah...

Too big of a swing, huh?

Oh, no.

It's just so international for a first date.

Of course. It was so stupid.

[laughs]

A horse-drawn sleigh ride to a bistro on a glacier lake?

Pfft.

Oh... that's so lovely.

Um... but maybe just, like, a lot of pressure.

Right.

I was thinking maybe we could

just go someplace in town tonight.

Oh man. Tonight. Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, for sure.

Uh... no, I can't

because I'm going to Canada.

It was all non-refundable, tasting menu et cetera.

O-kay. I feel awful. I didn't...

Oh, please don't. Please don't.

I'm just gonna ask a buddy to go with.

Alright. I'm so sorry.

I... I really wish I was the type of person

that could just jet off

but I think I would be in my head and...

Yeah.

You know.

Yeah, yeah. It's all good. In the neighborhood.

[laughs]

Okay.

Whoa!

[laughs]

Hey. Hey. What's up, Jack?

Hey.

Um... listen, I don't know what you're doing tonight

but I've got two tickets to the Kraken game, on the glass.

Seeing if you wanted to go.

I don't think that's appropriate.

Oh. Okay.

Sorry. Why isn't it appropriate?

I don't know you like that.

We've had, like, two conversations.

Yeah, but what about the hilarious time

when I brought in the bulldog?

That felt very much like office banter

and didn't really tip into friendship.

Well, we could be friends if we spend time together.

[sharp inhale]

Yeah, I don't know how to get that going.

I just invited you to a hockey game.

It feels forced.

Plus, I got my sister's birthday tonight.

Why didn't you just say that first?

Felt like an opportunity to set boundaries.

Oh, hey.

Um... have a great game with the...

the balls and the baskets and stuff.

Templeton benched me. He said I was too old.

No! What? That's not fair.

You guys are the same age.

Why does he get to play and you don't?

I'm like five years younger than him.

Oh.

You didn't know that?

No, I think... I think I did.

That seemed very surprising to you.

I'm remembering it now.

He's got gray hair and, like, a liver spot.

Right.

You going for full diabetes?

What?

Oh... no. I'm distracted.

That's great.

No, I... wait Frank. Can I ask your advice?

Um... Rick asked me out on a date.

Okay. Well, these things tend to sort themselves out.

Yeah. It's just, it's to Whistler...

and he bought the tickets and everything already.

Big swing. What did you say?

Well, I just said you know,

maybe we just go some place in town instead.

Ooh. Gut punch.

No. Is it?

Yeah, he really put himself out there.

Yeah. Yeah.

Um... I don't know what my problem is.

I just... it's a sweet idea, I just...

You don't know.

I don't... I don't know.

Even I know.

You know what?

Really? You really don't know?

Really, I don't know.

You really don't know?

I really don't know.

You really don't know?

I really don't know.

Then why don't we both say the thing

that we don't know out loud on the count of three.

Okay. Okay, sure.

[in unison] One, two, three...

- Shred. - Nothing.

Shred?

There's no way that you know that.

I not only have a high IQ, I also have a high EQ.

Which also stands for equalizer.

Okay, did Victoria tell you or something?

Look, I am capable of knowing things.

No, you're not.

Whatever you think you know, you don't.

Okay, I don't know a lot and I don't have any great insight

but I do know that Shred and Camila have been together

for three years and when she visited they patched things up.

And I also know that Rick is fantastic

and he wanted to take you to another country.

So maybe give him a chance.

Yeah. Yeah. Thanks Frank.

Okay.

[slurping]

It's maybe one too many sugars.

[cheering]

Push it, push it! Go! Yes.

[Templeton] Oh my gosh.

You're asleep again.

I shouldn't have had that second piece of lasagne.

Kryptonite, whoo!

Get him, get him.

This is ridiculous!

McNeil hasn't hit a shot all night.

He's got 20 points.

Yeah, but they're not the right kind of points.

There's no finesse or flare. Everyone's bored.

Jack, get ready. You're going in.

You're serious? He's going in before me?

He's clutch from the line. Much, much younger.

He's asleep.

Hey. Jack. Psst. Jack.

[yelling] Game time! Yeah! Ha!

There you go, buddy! He's awake.

Unbelievable.

You know what? There's one coach. Okay?

And this is the coach.

Where? Yeah, there's one coach on that side.

[whistle trills]

No, sorry ref.

[Frank] Coaches don't have whistles.

Sorry ref.

Go, go!

Ow, my ankle!

Yes! Yes.

I mean, look, the pressure got to him.

Oh, my gosh.

The game's almost over, muscle through.

It feels like it's broken.

Ah... adrenaline. How about adrenaline?

Just put me in the game!

Fine. We're gonna lose.

Try and stay positive, coach. You never know.

I played last week! I was good.

[Templeton] Let's bring it in.

We gotta have one play. This is it.

It says "no Frank".

Oh, sorry. Those are my notes.

Frank, you're down here.

I'm on the other side of the court?!

You're on defense.

On defense? During offense?

One, two, three.

[in unison] Together!

Let's go.

Hey, uh, did you ever find someone to go

to that hockey game?

You're not a fan, are you?

Uh... do you wanna see my Kraken keychain?

Okay, so do you wanna go?

Yes.

Nice! Awesome!

The tricky thing is that I have plans tonight

with my friend, Joanne.

Oh, well do you think she'd be cool

with you rescheduling and everything?

She's just an even bigger fan than me. So...

So... you want both of the tickets?

I'll buy them off you.

I mean, uh...

Yeah. How does 40 a piece sound?

Not as good as 20.

Just take 'em.

You okay?

Not really. I've been in Seattle almost a year

and feel like I still haven't made any real friends, so...

Do you want me to call you from the car

and we can talk this through?

No. Just go. Go enjoy the game.

Okay.

Hang in there, hmm?

[Frank] Come on.

Come on, right here.

Give me the ball. Jack, right here.

No.

[Frank] Throw me the ball. Right here.

Jack! Jack! Right here, right here.

Shut up, Frank!

Jack, Jack! Over here.

- [buzzer] - [cheering]

Whoo! Yeah!

[applause]

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

I am not in decline. I'm Peter Pan!

[Templeton] Drink time!

Whoo! Good coaching. Good coaching.

Ha! Ha!

Come on, let's go.

Come on.

I'll buy the first round. I'm just gonna get my stuff.

Okay, that's nice of you. I accept your apology.

[clears throat]

I gotta lock up.

You don't happen to live, by chance,

near Saint Vincent's Hospital, do you?

I can't move and I am in a staggering amount of pain.

[chuckles] Your back.

Yes. I threw everything out when I landed.

I was running on endorphins and assorted energy drinks.

- Let's go. - Ah!

Sorry.

Just tip me forward, just tip it there.

Yeah, tip it.

Oh, just like putting a boat into the water.

There we go. Oh hey, look at that.

[chuckling]

There you go.

This is a lot better than I thought. Oh...

Nice job, Rick.

[Announcement] Train 24 to Vancouver, BC

will now be departing on Platform 7.

Rick, hey!

Hey!

Rick. Hey.

Hey. You change your mind?

No. No, no, I'm still not going.

Oh.

Yeah. But, um, I wanted to come down here

and do the whole, like,

running through the train station

to catch the guy I like before he leaves, um, thing.

Okay.

I mean, you took a big swing.

So, I... I thought I should do one too.

So I didn't blow it?

No! No, I thought I blew it.

Oh, no. Not at all.

[Patel] Are you kidding me?

Do you know how hard it is to get approved

for a last-minute overnight?

I promised Maya her sister could stay with us for two weeks!

She's not going.

Oh. Thank God. Hi Emily.

How are you feeling?

Uh, you know, I'm on some crazy antibiotics.

I think they're making me a little bit aggressive.

Okay.

So look, I'll, uh, be at the platform.

Mmhmm.

Okay.

Tuesday night, pizza at D'Amore's. Are you in?

Feels a little tame. So yeah, I'm in.

Alright.

Okay.

Bye.

Okay. We've given you a pretty strong muscle relaxant

so you can't drive home.

I don't see an emergency contact.

Who should I call?

Did someone put up the bat signal for an emergency contact?

Oh God. I regret everything I've ever done in my life.

How are you doing? How are your vitals?

Do you need me to run point with the medical staff?

Do you need your bed pan?

I just need a ride.

This is all transportation motivated.

Oh, there's transportation happening.

You're on the move right towards my heart.

Ugh. Look, would you just shut up

and watch the third period with me?

Oh. Yeah.

Perfectly good chair right over there.

Just grab the chair. Okay.

[Shred] What's the score?

Ugh. We're down by one but we just got a power play.

Hmm.

You know who I wanted to invite to the game tonight?

Who?

Emily, But I thought it would be weird.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I think I have a thing for her.

It's great.

Hmm.

It's great.

This is nice.

Nope.

You're really cool when you're on muscle relaxers.

When they wear off I'm gonna kick your ass.

I know.