All language subtitles for A Damsel In Distress (1937) - English

Order, order, silence for Mr. Keggs.

Ladies and gentlemen, I assume
you're all aware of what we're here for.

This sweepstake is been inaugurated
in order to provide a harmless little...

sporting flutter for the ladies and gentlemen
of the domestic staff of Tottney Castle.

Get on with it, when does the balloon go up?

- Order, order.
- Silence.

We have come to the
conclusion that pretty soon Lady Alyce...

will be making up her mind to get married.

So I put all the eligible in this hat
and whoever draws the happy man...

Gets the pot.

Whoever draws the happy man will become the
possessor of the total amount subscribed.

Well, we will now proceed with the drawing.

Thomas, the footman.

He draws the honorable
Wilfred Washington Watkins.

- Oh, why couldn't I pull Reggie?
- I don't know why you all favor Mr. Reggie.

With lady Caroline backing him?

Did you ever know when the
old girl didn't get her way?

Antoine, our respected cook.

Sir George Belgrave.

Too bad.

Now I draw.

Mr. Reggie.

That ladies and gentlemen,
concludes the proceedings.

Hey, what about me?
What about my 10 shillings in the pot?

I'm sorry, there are no more starters my boy.

Well, what's the matter with writing
me out a ticket marked Mr. X?

- Mr. X?
- Man in the field.

Then if her ladyship turns down
Mr. Reggie and the rest of them...

and marries some tee-totaled
stranger, I'm tops.

Any objections?

- No.
- No.

Very well.

There we are.

- Ja, ja.
- Ja ja, yourself with knobs on it.

- Shall I tell you something?
- What?

Lady Alyce is in love with a young American
fella she met in Switzerland last year.

- Balmy, that's what you are.
- Oh balmy, am I?

And why is lady Caroline appointed you
to watch her wherever she goes?

- How do you know all this?
- Listening at key holes.

Mr. Keggs, she's run
off to London, lady Alyce.

- She told me not to tell a soul.
- To London? What for?

To see Mr. X, it's a walkover.

- Lady Caroline mustn't hear a word of this.
- Where you going?

- And where are you off to?
- To protect my investment.

Hello?

Yeah, this is Jerry Halliday's apartment.

No, I'm his publicity man.

About what?

No, you'll have to talk to my secretary.

She's not in yet.

Yeah, you'd better call about 12 o'clock,
she'll be in then to go out to lunch.

Hello.

- Should've been in two hours ago.
- Why? What happened?

- What happened?
- Yeah?

You're not here on time I'll have
to get myself another stenographer.

Another stenographer? Do you think
there's enough work for the two of us?

- Look, I mean I'm going to fire you.
- You fire me?

Why, if it weren't for my father backing Jerry
Halliday's first show in the United States...

you wouldn't be here in London now, now.

Weren't for your father you wouldn't
be working for me for two weeks.

You wouldn't even be working for me for
two days, not even for two minutes.

Well, a girl couldn't ask for
shorter hours than that.

Here, sharpen this pencil.

Did you type that
letter I dictated last night?

Well no, I didn't have time
so I mailed them my notebook.

- I hope they can read my shorthand.
- You mailed your notebook?

You know Gracie, I'm beginning
to think that there's nothing up here.

George, you're self-conscious.

There.

- That's it?
- Yes.

- I'm not in.
- He's not in.

- Find out who it is.
- Oh. Who?

- It's a Hawaiian.
- A Hawaiian?

Well, he must be, he says
he's Brown from the Morning Sun.

Look, the man's name is Brown...

the Morning Sun is the newspaper he's
working on but tell him I'm not here.

He's not here, I tell you he's not here.

Oh you don't, eh? Well, you can
ask him yourself if you don't believe me.

George, will you tell him you're
not here, he doesn't believe me.

Hello, Mr. Halliday is not in.

Mr. Jerry Halliday,
the destroyer of feminine hearts...

Just saw a crowd of women running
and why do you suppose they were running?

- Because you were chasing them?
- No, because they were chasing me.

- Oh?
- You and your publicity.

Jerry, as long as these people...

want to believe that you're the
same character off the stage as on...

what's the difference as
long as you cash in at the box office?

Thanks to you, every woman who can
read either rushes at me or away from me.

Did it ever occur to you that it might be
interesting for me to meet a young lady...

who could stand still for just one second.

Sit down, sit down, a story is a
story Jerry and as long as they're read...

All right, here's a story, a true
story for you, I'm through.

- What? What do you mean?
- Oh, Jerry?

Until I can live down this butterfly
character you've pinned onto me...

there'll be no more love scenes, no
more love songs, no more love dances...

- and no more love-sick publicity men.
- Listen Jerry, you...

Jerry, wait Jerry.

Good morning, can I hide here please?

- Now listen miss, this is just too much.
- But Keggs mustn't see me.

Keggs?

Yes, he's following me.
Keggs, aunt Caroline's pet watchdog.

- There he is, hide me.
- You sir, you sir...

- And what's your trouble my friend?
- So you're the American, eh?

Well, you can't get
away with this sort of thing.

- What sort of thing?
- A young lady just got into your cab.

- Oh, surely not sir.
- What you mean surely not?

Oh, I mean to say I've been in the cab
all this time and I would've noticed her sir.

- Will you let me look inside this cab?
- I will not sir.

Very well then, I shall
be bound to force my way in.

Then Keggs, I shall be
bound to force you out sir.

Good heavens, how did
you know my name is Keggs?

Why, it's written right
on the wall in back of you.

- Who is he?
- He's Jerry Halliday.

- He live there?
- Yes, at the Devonshire.

The Devonshire.

You're the American. Right, I'm your friend.
Don't give her up, we're going to win.

I suppose you're wondering
what this is all about.

Oh no, it's none of my business.

And, and of course you're much too well
bred to inquire into other people's business.

Of course I am, what's it all about?

Well...

I'm in a perfectly
simple piece of trouble and...

it would bore you to
death if I told you about it.

- Open that door, do you hear me?
- Go away my good man.

- Hello, what's all this?
- I have another little idea here.

I say...

Hello, hello, hello, come out of there.

You've committed a breach of the
peace, be charged for this, you know.

Officer, I'm glad you arrived.
I don't know who this man is...

Officer, I insist, there
is a young lady in this cab.

- Oh, it's ridiculous.
- There is.

- There isn't officer.
- We shall see.

A practical joker, eh?
Playing jokes on the law.

Come along with me, the both of you.

But there was a young lady in the cab
and you're evading the truth if you deny it.

Listen my friend, I'm admitting nothing
and I'm denying nothing and I'll...

Ladies and gentlemen,

with your kind attention I will give you
my impression of that celebrated artist...

Jerry Halliday.

Jerry Halliday, him himself.

Come on, Jerry old boy
give us a song, will you?

- A bit of music for Jerry.
- Come on Jerry.

Music.

Hello, come here.

♪ Bad news, go away call round
some day in march or may ♪

♪ I can't be bothered now my
bonds and shares may fall downstairs ♪

♪ Who cares, who cares?
I'm dancing and I can't be bothered now ♪

♪ I'm up among the
stars on earthly things I frown ♪

♪ I'm throwing off
the bars that held me down ♪

♪ I'll pay the Piper when times
get riper just now, I shan't ♪

♪ Because you see I'm dancing
and I can't be bothered now. ♪

I say there.

Don't touch the roses, will you?

Make the work twice as hard, will you?

Take that and that.

And that.

- Beg pardon your lordship.
- What is it?

- Your milk mi lord.
- Milk?

What am I, a baby or a calf? Take it away.

- Reggie.
- Yes, uncle John?

- Stop that noise.
- Right-o.

- And stop saying right-o.
- Right-o.

- Take it away.
- Beg pardon mi lord, lady Caroline's orders.

I'm not to move until
you've drunk this, the last drop.

- Father.
- Hello my dear.

- Would you do me a favor?
- What?

Marry that saxophone-playing
pest and take him away from here.

I'm not going to marry
Reggie and you know the reason.

All right then.

The next time you step up to London let me
go with you, I'd like to take a look at it.

- So would I.
- Didn't you see him, your American?

How could I with Keggs following
me and fighting in the streets?

I wish you'd be sensible and forget him.

Keeping us apart a
year hasn't made me forget him.

I should imagine that proves I love him.

Stop that nonsense, look.

Stormy weather approaching.

John, read this please.

You know perfectly well
I can't read without my glasses.

What the devil is it?

It may interest you to know
that Keggs spent last night in prison.

Keggs, Keggs come here.

Oh, Keggs.

- So you hit a policeman, eh?
- No mi lord, I kicked him.

Caroline, if you can put up with
a kicking steward, I cannot.

You're sacked for being
drunk and disorderly in a public place.

- Keggs was not drunk and disorderly.
- I suppose you were an eyewitness.

Yes.

Then you were in
London yesterday, I'm appalled.

I went there to meet
a man and Keggs followed.

I jumped into the first cab to avoid him
and that's where he had the struggle...

- with the man in the cab.
- You met your American.

I've never seen the man before,
just happened that I got into his cab.

As if you'd get in a cab with a stranger.

You're only saying this
to put us off the scent.

From now on, you'll remain in the
grounds and be watched at all times.

Those are your father's orders.
Are they not, John?

Right-o.

Good morning children.

- Good morning Jerry.
- Hi Jerry.

- Ah, fan mail.
- Yes.

I'm through with that.

Now listen to reason Jerry,
you can't quit even temporarily.

I am going to hide away in the
country where no one has ever...

heard of Halliday the butterfly man.

Beneath whose feet women's hearts
are crushed as grapes in a wine-press.

You wrote that.

Isn't this cute.?

- That's the girl in the cab.
- What cab?

- Well, she was in trouble.
- Trouble?

Tottney Castle, I wonder where that place is.

Look, it's got a coat of arms.
It's a bona fide castle.

Oh, that's where Napoleon came from.

- Napoleon?
- Yeah, Napoleon Bonafide.

- Her father backed your first show, remember?
- Yeah, yeah.

Oh, here it is, Tottney Castle.

The present owner is Lord Marshmorton...

he has a sister, lady
Caroline and a daughter, lady Alyce.

Since the 15th century Tottney Castle
has been the seat of the Earl of...

Oh George, you have to do
something about that Brooklyn accent.

- You mean oil.
- I mean Earl.

Oil and Earl are two different things.

- Your daddy doesn't go to bed oily, does he?
- He did when he worked for the gas station.

Listen Gracie, in England there
are several titles for the nobility,

- lords, Dukes, earls...
- Yeah. Oh, that's my daddy.

If he ever gets his Dukes on the oil
company's money, Lord help them.

- I made that up myself.
- You did, eh?

- Where's the car?
- Downstairs.

Say, have you any idea
what a publicity story this will make?

Can't you see the headlines?
Pretty heiress putty in Halliday's hands.

I love you, Alyce M.

I mean, is incredible, how can the girl write
like this when she doesn't even know me?

Everybody reads my stuff.

Thursday is visitor's day. What's today?

Oh, I don't know.

Well, you can tell if you look at
that newspaper on your desk.

Oh, this is no help George,
It's yesterday's paper.

- Her father backed my first show.
- Yes.

- Hurry Thomas.
- Yes Mr. Keggs.

The bus will be here at any moment
and we shall be overrun by the proletariat.

Yes Mr. Keggs.

Why they should want to pay a shilling
a head to be led about like dumb animals...

gaping into the interior of the bedrooms
is a thing I could never understand.

It makes them feel envious of us.

Keggs, I'm expecting
the madrigal singers this morning.

- When they come show them into the ballroom.
- Yes milady.

- Oh dear, is this Thursday?
- I fear so milady.

Oh well, open all the doors and
windows after they've gone.

Yes milady.

♪ Hey, hey, another or 3, oh ♪
♪ 3 another or 3, hey, hey ♪

Kindly keep in line please, kindly keep in
line and hand me your shillings as you pass.

Thank you.

- Good old Tottney Castle.
- Oh, isn't it beautiful?

It's almost pretty
enough to be a filling station.

Filling station?
Why, this castle is over 300 years old.

Oliver Cromwell went through here in 1628.

Well, that was pretty
fast time in those days.

- I mean he went through the castle Gracie.
- Oh, couldn't stop the car, eh?

No, he couldn't stop the car.

Admission is one shilling.

Oh well, we usually get more than that
but give us our shillings and we'll go in.

Oh, but I don't pay the people
madam, the people pay me.

- Oh, well then give me my money back.
- But you didn't give me any money.

- Well, that's not my fault.
- Here's your money mister.

- Oh, thank you.
- Come on Gracie.

- How much did he give you?
- Two shillings.

- And how much is the admission?
- One shilling.

Oh, well then give me my change.

Oh, I beg your pardon madam.
I was a little confused for a moment.

- You.
- Don't mention it.

- Say, hey not so fast there.
- Oh, hello, how are you?

- Say, I'm sorry about your hat old man.
- This castle is not open to you.

Oh, I thought it was open
to anyone that paid a shilling.

To you, not on payment of a million pound.

Thomas, Henry, eject him.

- Come, Albert.
- But, look...

Outside the ropes.

Oh George, imagine meeting
a deep sea diver here, of all places.

- Deep sea diver?
- Yeah.

That's suit of armor.

Oh well, Mr. Armor must be around
somewhere in his underwear.

- And he's not in his suit.
- Probably slipped out for a smoke.

- Yeah, oh.
- Oh?

- We are now in the main hall.
- Bang, bang.

Do you notice what that sign says madam?

Do not finger art. Oh well, I don't blame
art, if I were art I'd object, too.

I don't get it.

Next, I would like to point out this
portrait of a very famous countess...

- mother of 5 daughters whose husband was...
- I know, Eddie Cantor.

- Go right ahead.
- Thank you.

I'm happy to relate that his lordship gave
more than 5,000 pounds for that portrait.

5,000 pounds of what?

I told you I was your
friend, didn't I? Now I prove it.

- Good boy.
- Don't muss my hair.

- Got a cigarette?
- Sorry, this is my last one.

Then I'll have to
have one of my own. See them?

They're the madrigal singers.

You can slip in with them and
then I'll take you to see lady Alyce.

Good.

You got here just in time, if I've
ever seen an impatient woman, she's one.

Now, this balcony is an historical spot known
in the family tradition as Leonard's leap.

In the year 1787, a young Scottish
nobleman, Lord Leonard Strathbungo...

hurled himself from that balcony...

to avoid compromising the
beautiful countess of Marshmorton.

This was a feat of bravery and daring
which in the whole history of the castle...,

has never been duplicated.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Did he break his neck?

Oh George, maybe he
didn't even lighten his neck.

Maybe.

Now, those of you who may wish
will be conducted by the footman...

- to inspect the model dairy.
- Why?

I'm happy to relate that his lordship is the
owner of no fewer than 1,500 cows.

Does he herd sheep?

Oh, George, you can't
say that he heard sheep.

You mean that he hear
sheep or has he heard sheep.

- But you can't say that he heard sheep.
- Does he heard sheep.

No.

Well, now we will return
by way of the ballroom.

George, isn't he a silly man? He is.

- Now let's all start together.
- Right-o.

And let's try and finish together.

♪ There was a jolly British tar
who met a milkmaid bonny ♪

♪ He said how beautiful you are
with a hey and a nonny ♪

♪ With a hey and a nonny
such golden hair I never did see ♪

♪ With lips to shame the cherry
oh, buxom milkmaid, marry me ♪

♪ With a down-a-derry
with a down-a-down-a-derry ♪

- ♪ Our hearts could rhyme, said he.
- ♪ 'tis flattered I'm, said she ♪

♪ But oh, me, you see, you see
♪ you see, you see I happen to be ♪

- ♪ I happen to be the mother of 3 ♪
- ♪ a wife already and mother of 3 ♪

♪ Of 3 ♪ - ♪ of 3 ♪

♪ The mother of 3.

♪ The jolly tar, he laughed a laugh
'tis for the best, my bonny ♪

♪ That you won't be my better half
♪ with a hey and a nonny ♪

♪ With a hey and a nonny

♪ I near forgot on seeing you
that I've a wife in Kerry ♪

♪ In Spain and also Timbuktu
with a down and a derry ♪

♪ With a down-a-down-a-derry

- ♪ you've got me thinking twice.
- How nice ♪

♪ Goodbye to shoes and rice
but oh, me, just now, you see ♪

- ♪ Just now, you see I happen to be ♪
- ♪ I happen to be the husband of 3 ♪

- ♪ A-spliced already and husband of 3 ♪
- ♪ a-spliced already and husband of 3 ♪

♪ Of 3 - ♪ of 3

♪ of 3 - ♪ of 3

♪ of 3 - ♪ of 3

♪ of 3 ♪ of 3

♪ the husband of 3

- After him, and turn him out.
- Very well milady, Thomas, Henry.

Sit down, hurry up.

Sit down, close your eyes.

- Now count.
- Count?

You're surprising her, ain't you?
It'll make it more romantic.

She can creeps all the way in
and plant a kiss on your brow.

- All right.
- Count.

1, 2, 3, 4...

- Louder.
- 5, 6...

- Give it a bit more.
- 11, 12...

13, 18, 19...

20, 21, 22, 23...

24, 25, 26, 27...

28, 27...

No, I said that before. Twent...

Oh, I got here just as quickly as I could.

- You did?
- Yes.

- You're feeling quite well?
- Well, I'm not used to all this excitement.

One of our gardeners
got sun stroke yesterday.

Is that so?

Yes, he stood out in the
sun too long without his hat on.

It made him all funny in the head.

Yeah.

Now what happens? What can I do to help you?

Help?

- Well, you're in distress, aren't you?
- Why, in a way, yes.

- They're keeping you prisoner.
- Yes.

Well, I wouldn't have dreamed
it possible in this day and age.

Locking a girl up like a prisoner
to keep her away from...

The man she loves.

How did you know?

You're quite sure
about this being in love thing?

I mean, it isn't just
a quick schoolgirl crush?

Oh, no.

It's the real thing.

Really I, I find it quite embarrassing.

Don't be shy, not with me. I mean, I,

I want you to just, well, tell me everything.

But I couldn't possibly.
I've only met you once.

I'll tell you what.

Let's pretend that I'm an old friend of the
family, an uncle or something like that.,

And, well, you're talking about
a third person who isn't here.

- How's that?
- Might make it easier.

All right, here we go.

You do really, shall we say...

- Care for this man.
- I love him.

Why?

Well, in the first place, he's
the most charming man in the world.

And in the second place,
he's divinely handsome.

- You're crazy.
- Well, I beg your pardon, I think so.

Well, all right then, we
won't argue that point any further.

- Go on.
- American?

- Yes.
- You'd say, he's got what it takes.

Listen, you know, I can
stand just so much and then...

Alyce, Alyce.

- It's aunt Caroline.
- Alyce.

- Yes?
- Well, I want to speak to you.

Just a moment, get out of here,
or aunt Caroline will find you.

- To the balcony.
- Alyce?

But don't go near the edge.

- Where's that man?
- What man?

Now it's no good staring at me like that.
That man was seen coming upstairs.

I know you're hiding him.

- The balcony.
- Oh, don't be silly aunt Caroline.

The balcony?

Well, it appears I was mistaken, I'm sorry.

- He did it.
- Did what?

- The leap. Leonard, I mean.
- Well, of course he did.

Aunt Caroline, any man
been known to do it since Leonard?

Certainly not.

Oh, what courage.

- Leonard you mean?
- Yes, Leonard, of course.

- Keep the motor running.
- Did you see her Jerry?

- Yeah, yes.
- Good, now we can go to Paris.

Don't lose courage, I'll be waiting
to help you. What do I do next?

Thanks.

Say you, gardener.

Look, where can one stay around here?

There are several cottages down the road.

Can you keep your mouth shut?

Look, I want you to give this note
to lady Alyce the first chance you get.

And here's a pound for your trouble.

Did you tell his
lordship I wished to see him?

- Yes milady.
- Where is he now?

He's coming now. He was taking his bath.

Very well.

- Stop that infernal noise.
- Yes, stop it Reggie.

Oh right-o.

- Well, what is it? What is it?
- I want to speak you John.

A nice time to choose.

Keggs, repeat to his
lordship what you just told me.

Very good milady.

I have been informed mi lord by the cook
who was informed by the second footman,

who was informed by the scullery
maid who had it from the milkman...

- You forgot the first maid.
- Will you shut up?

Right-o.

Well, go ahead man, what
did the syndicate tell you?

The 3 mysterious Americans are now the
occupants of Leonard's manor mi lord.

Alyce's American and his friends,
they're just down the road.

Well, John?

What you mean well John?
What do you expect me to do?

You will go and horsewhip him immediately.

Oh, but I couldn't possibly.
Why, I hardly know the fellow.

You will horsewhip him directly
you've had your breakfast.

All right, I'll think it over.

Well, now that you rented this
bungalow, what am I expected to do?

- Sit around and watch you being a hermit?
- Where's your sense of romance?

Didn't you hear hat
she said? Leonard lived here.

Oh, have some sense Jerry, come on.

Oh, I can't go now,
she needs me, she's in trouble.

Oh Jerry, don't be so pessimistic, maybe
she'll still be in trouble when you get back.

Go and pack your things
Mr. Halliday, he's on his way over here.

- Who?
- His lordship.

He's coming over to
chase you out of the place.

- Chase me out of the place?
- Please sir, you better hurry.

If you don't go, he's going to horsewhip you.

My, my, how old fashioned,
horsewhipping a man in this day and age...

when they can run
over him with an automobile.

What won't they think of next?

Please sir, hurry, hurry.

Relax my dear boy,
I'm not leaving, I like it here.

I'm filled with the spirit of Leonard.

Please sir, change
your mind, you can't defy him.

Well, It's time someone defied the old wolf.

Blimey, that's him.
He'll kill me if he finds me here.

- You better take Gracie into the next room.
- Oh no, I want to see what happens.

You'll hear.

Be good.

Enter.

Oh, I was expecting someone else.

However, peasantry is always
welcome across my threshold.

Take the cat off the stool and sit down son.

As a matter of fact I...

I was expecting your boss and it would've
been a most unpleasant fortnight...

he'd spent the next 10 minutes.

And pray tell, who does he think
he is ordering me out of the country...

and threatening to horsewhip me.

Why, I'd like to see him try it.

What do I care if he's the Earl of yon
neighboring castle? An Earl, so what?

And how did he become an Earl?

Because some ancestor of his gypped
the poor common people out of their lands.

The old pirate and you want to know
what else I think of Earl Marshmorton?

Why, he's nothing but a, a high-binder.

- Have you finished?
- Yes, I think that's all.

Good.

Come out you young scoundrel, come out of it.

Yes mi lord, please
Lord Marshmorton, I am sorry.

Oh, get out.

Please sir, yes mi lord. Very good mi lord.

- You're Lord Marshmorton.
- I am.

- Oh, what?
- Oh, isn't it awful? Isn't it terrible?

Isn't what awful? Isn't what terrible?

I can't hear a thing.

- What's this?
- The answer to the letter you gave me.

Do you mean that you gave
my note to lady Alyce?

Of course I did, you tipped me
most liberally, there's her answer.

- Oh, then you're on my side.
- Of course I am, Alyce loves you.

What?

And I respect her judgment.
She loves you and that's good enough for me.

I don't think the Marshmortons are
fenced off from the rest of the world

by some sort of divinity.

- My sister does but she's an ass.
- Isn't she. I mean, is she?

Of course she is, always has been. Why,
she wants her stepson Reggie to marry Alyce.

Over my dead body sir.

Well, she didn't specify that but I've no
doubt she'd be glad if it could be arranged.

Look, he's going to take her
to a fair this afternoon.

Caroline expects him to propose
to her on the shoot the shuts.

- Well, I'll be darned.
- Is that all you're going to say?

No, sir, it is not.

Well, if I were a young man in your
position I should go to the fair myself...

and take her away from him.

- That's just what I shall do sir.
- Good boy.

Well, I must be getting back to my roses.

Oh, by the way...

if you should happen to run into my
sister you tell her I horsewhipped you...

- within an inch of your life.
- Right-o.

♪ Things are looking up ♪

- Oh, you're still alive, eh?
- Alive? I've just begun to live.

- You've just begun to live?
- Why, I've just begun to live.

Oh, he's just begun to live.

♪ Oh, I've just begun to live, I've just
begun to live, yes, I've just begun to live ♪

♪ I've just begun to live, oh I've just begun
to live, why, I've just begun to live ♪

Yeah.

Whoa, yeah.

Step up, ladies and gents, step up.
This way for the world of joy...

with which is included the tunnel
of love, all for the price of sixpence...

the half-part of a shilling.
Now gents, many of you, I have no doubt...

are shy of the fair sex, you want to pop
the question but you don't know how.

Give your girls sixpence of the tunnel
of love and achieve the consummation...

devoutly to be wished.

Yes gents, your money back if she don't
fling her arms around your neck and cry...

your words and say and when she says
nothing you say, will you be mine?

How can she help but
wish for the little words...

that keeps the
clergymen out of the poorhouse?

Money will be returned
to all members of the male sex...

if you don't click in the first 5 minutes.

Step up gents,
this way for the tunnel of love.

Buy your tickets right
over there and hurry right in.

- Oh, come on George.
- Not me, that's for children.

I don't like those things.
I never did and I never will.

- Jerry, don't get me a ticket.
- Why not?

Because I got a weak heart.

Oh, don't be silly George, if Jerry pays for
the ticket how can that affect your heart?

Come on George, come on.

No, no, not me, I don't get
any pleasure out of these things.

Oh, come along George, for the fun of it,

It's lots of fun having
fun even if you don't enjoy it.

- Good afternoon.
- Good afternoon.

- I'd been hoping that I'd meet you again.
- Oh, you have?

Yes, to thank you about yesterday.
Did you hurt yourself?

Oh, no no. No, I just skinned
my hands a little, it's nothing at all.

- This is a lot of fun, isn't it?
- Yeah, all right.

- What they call this thing?
- Tunnel of love.

- I say, I'm with the lady in the car ahead.
- Oh my, you must be a magician.

No, but really, aren't you with
the gentleman in the car ahead?

Oh, so I am.

Well, if we're both in the car ahead then
who can the two people be in this car?

Yes, that's right, there must be
some mix-up, shall I strike a match?

Well, why hit a poor
little match, it isn't his fault.

Although I always say...

How do you do? Although I always say...

Say, you're pretty.

You know, I was going
to say the very same thing.

But why don't you say it
if you think you're pretty?

You have as much right to say it as I have.

- I say, do you live here?
- No, where I live we sit in chairs.

I must admit something else, I...

- it's, it's lovely weather, isn't it?
- Yeap, a shame we can't see it.

- Oh, rather.
- Hat you.

Oh, by the way, did
you see the newspapers this morning?

- No, did you see them?
- No, but I wish this was yesterday.

Although I didn't see
the papers yesterday morning.

- Did you see the papers yesterday morning?
- No.

I never see the papers
but they're nice to talk about.

- Yes, they're so true to life.
- Oh, well, aren't we all? Your hat, care.

- I say, everybody knows you, don't they?
- Yes.

- By the way, I saw your father this morning.
- Oh, yes?

Yes, he called at my house.
I thought him a grand person.

- Oh, he is.
- And truthful, I suppose.

What you mean?

I mean, you can rely upon what he tells you.
I mean, he wouldn't just have a little fun...

make a practical joke or anything like that.

Of course not. Why, what did he tell you?

- About you.
- What about me?

He told me about
you having fallen in love with...

Well, I'm not ashamed of it.

- Of course not.
- You can't help falling in love.

I know it.

- It's like being hit by a thunderbolt.
- That's right.

I know some people laugh at
the idea of falling in love at first sight.

They're wrong.

Oh, I'm glad you think so
because I did, head over heels.

Alyce...

Hat you.

You look nice and happy.
What's happened to you?

Oh George, that was more fun.
Now let's go down the moving stairs.

Oh no, come here. The
safest way, take the lift. Inside.

The safe way.

♪ What made good queen Bess
such a great success? ♪

♪ What made Wellington
do what he did at Waterloo? ♪

♪ What makes every Englishman
a fighter through and through? ♪

♪ It isn't roast beef or ale
or home or mother ♪

♪ It's just a little thing
they sing to one another ♪

♪ Stiff upper lip, stout fella
carry on, old bean ♪

♪ Chin up, keep muddling through ♪

♪ Stiff upper lip, stout fella

♪ dash it all, I mean pip-pip to old man
trouble and a toodly-oo, too ♪

♪ Carry on through thick and thin
if you feel you're in the right ♪

♪ Does the fighting spirit win?
Oh, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite ♪

♪ Stiff upper lip, stout fella when you're in
a stew sober or blotto, this is the motto ♪

♪ Keep muddling through

I'm sorry milady, so sorry.

I thought it was clearly understood Keggs...

that I would not
tolerate another of these outbursts.

Yes milady, I, I fight the
urge constantly milady but...

this time it seemed to get the better of me.

A man of character Keggs,
should learn to control his passions.

Yes milady, thank you milady.

Father.

Just a minute dear, I'm looking for a snail.
Is behind that bush somewhere.

Go round there and cut off his retreat.
I'll teach him to eat up the flowers.

Father, do stop talking about
snails, I, I want to ask you something.

Do you think it shows a very weak
character changing one's mind?

What about?

Well, about for instance, falling in love?

Hello, what's this you're telling me you...

you changed your mind about
that ski-jumping fellow of yours?

I just found suddenly that I don't
love him, I suppose that delights you.

Don't, I'm sorry, I liked the chap.

- But you never met him.
- Of course I've met him.

I called at his house yesterday
to deliver that note you wrote.

- Oh, but that's not the man.
- Not the man?

No, that's the American
I met in London in a cab.

Well, whoever he is I told him
you were potty about him.

- Practically gave him my blessing.
- You told him I was...

- Oh, then that's why.
- Why what?

- Why he kissed me.
- Naturally.

But father, you don't
understand, I slapped him.

- Naturally, if he's a stranger.
- But he's not a stranger.

That is, in a way he is and isn't.
I realized in a flash that I love him.

I can't help myself.
I know you think I'm crazy.

Love him? But you said just now you didn't.

I didn't say I didn't, I said I did.

But now I guess he won't have
anything to do with me anymore.

Why? Because you slapped him? What rot.

Why, your poor mother use to slap me
frequently before we got engaged.

You think I minded? Of course I didn't. Showed
she was beginning to take an interest in me.

Every time I kissed her she slapped me...

and every time she slapped
me she came and apologized.

And every time she apologized I kissed
her again and before long there we were...

in a private suite,
shaking the confetti out of our hair.

- Well, do you think I ought to apologize?
- Well, he might kiss you again.

But suppose he didn't?
I mean, suppose he didn't forgive me?

He'll forgive you...

everything will end happily and I
shall come along and dance at your wedding.

Oh father, you're a darling.

There, there, you
go along and do your apologizing.

I got to get the snail.

- Hello Keggs.
- Milady.

Come here you.

I want a few words with you in private.

Eavesdropping is a low habit
his lordship will not tolerate.

And so, young idiot Albert, I'm afraid
I'm now forced to give you the sack.

Please Mr. Keggs, let me off this once.

Well, I'm a soft-hearted man and I should
hate to ruin a young lad's prospects.

- You promise you won't do it again?
- Word of honor.

- Very well.
- Thank you Mr. Keggs.

Oh, by the way, do you happen to have
that ticket, the one marked Mr. X?

Yes.

Would you mind exchanging it
for the one marked Mr. Reggie?

- Fat chance.
- Just as you please.

I'm afraid, on second thought,
I'll have to discharge you after all.

Pity it is too,

Being dismissed without a character,
breaking your poor old mother's heart.

It's men like you what lead
to half the crimes in the country.

- Here you are.
- Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

♪ Greet, greet, greet to the musketeers, the
musketeers were all for one and one for all

- What are you so cheerful about?
- We're going to Paris.

- And what are you so cheerful about?
- We're going to Paris.

I suppose you'd like to stay here and play
Leonard so you could save lady Alyce again?

- I never want to see her again.
- She's here.

- Who?
- The girl who slapped you.

- Where?
- On the jaw, she's coming up the Lane.

Let's go outside, when a man is in love, he
wants to be by himself with the girl he loves.

Oh Georgie, I didn't
know you felt that way about me.

- And this is so sudden, come on.
- Yeah.

- Hello.
- How do you do?

May I come in?

Is there something I can do for you?

I suppose it is very odd to you
my coming here like this.

Not at all. Neighborly.
Won't you have a seat?

No thank you, I can only stay a moment.

- I'd feel safer if you were sitting.
- I just wanted to speak to you.

You've come just in time. You see,
I'm leaving for Paris almost immediately.

- You mean you're never coming back?
- You can always buy a punching bag.

But that's what I came to
speak to you about, you see I...

came to say that I'm sorry I slapped you.

You see, father's just explained everything
to me and now I understand how it happened.

Oh I see, your father explained
to you why you slapped me.

No. No.

The Things are
frightfully mixed up, I mean...

father made a mistake about you and then
after he spoke to you yesterday, well you...

well you naturally thought
you were somebody else.

Naturally.

And I didn't know, of course.
I thought you were being yourself.

And then father explained
that he thought you were the other man...

and of course, how were you
to know that I didn't mean you?

- Do you understand?
- Perfectly.

And do you see why I slapped you?

Let me get this straight,
Whom did you slap, me or the other fellow?

- Why, you.
- And who is the other fellow?

- Jeffrey.
- Jeffrey? Who's he?

An American I met in
Switzerland about a year ago.

Oh?

They don't want me to marry him, that's why
they locked me up, to keep me from seeing him.

Oh, I see.

Your father thought I was he
and naturally, I thought he meant me.

I see.

Well, I'm afraid I've
made an awful fool of myself.

No, no, you haven't.

- And this chap Egbert...
- Jeffrey.

- Jeffrey, he's the man you love.
- No, no.

What do you mean no?

Well, I, I suddenly realized...

that, that I didn't really love Jeffrey, all
that had just been a schoolgirl crush and...

the reason that that was so clear to me was
because I, I suddenly realized that, that...

I loved somebody else.

- A third man.
- No.

Will you please stop
saying no and talk sense?

You're just about the
stupidest man I ever met.

How I ever came to falling love
with you I'll never understand.

- Did I hear correctly? Did you just say...?
- Yes.

- Well, are you sure it's me?
- Yes.

Well, when did you first feel this,
what you just said coming on?

Yesterday in a flash
right after I slapped you.

- Then slapping me made you love me.
- Yes.

Darling, slap me again.

♪ If I should suddenly start to sing
or stand on my head or anything ♪

♪ Don't think that I've lost my senses it's
just that my happiness finally commences ♪

♪ The long, long ages of dull
despair are turning into thin air ♪

♪ And it seems that suddenly I've
become the happiest man alive ♪

♪ Things are looking up I've
been looking the landscape over ♪

♪ And it's cover with 4 leaf clover, oh things
are looking up since love looked up at me ♪

♪ Bitter was my cup
but no more will I be the mourner ♪

♪ For I've certainly turned the corner. ♪

♪ Oh things are looking
up since love looked up at me ♪

♪ See the sun beams,
everyone beams just because of you ♪

♪ Love is in session and my
depression is unmistakably through ♪

♪ Thing are looking up
it's a great little world we live in ♪

♪ Oh, I'm happy as a pup
since love looked up at me ♪

- When am I going to see you again?
- I do wish you'd come to the ball tonight.

To see you, I'd even risk
aunt Caroline's blood hounds.

Father help you get in.

Besides, there'll be so many people there
I'm sure no one would notice you.

- I'll be there.
- Goodbye.

♪ We all rejoice
come lift up every voice ♪...

Beg your pardon sir.

A lady and gentleman have just arrived. The
lady said I was to mention the tunnel of love.

Oh yes, right-o.

♪ With a smile

♪ the Shepherd...

Uncle John, let me introduce miss Allen,
Mr. Burns, my uncle Lord Marshmorton.

How do you do?

Certainly have a swell crowd here tonight,
you must be taking in a lot of shillings.

- Gracie, we're guests.
- Oh, that's all right, so are we.

These are my friends, miss Allen, Mr. Burns.

- How do you?
- How do?

Well, come along.

Now...

you wait here and I'll go ahead and pop that
surprise that I told you about at the fair.

Yes.

Miss Allen, is he coming here
tonight, your friend Mr. Halliday?

Oh well, sure he's not coming here and
you know why he's not coming here tonight?

Because he wasn't invited, that's why he's
not coming here tonight Lord marshmallow.

- Gracie, it's Marshmorton not marshmallow.
- That's what I said, marshmallow.

Look Gracie, marshmallows are soft and mushy.

Oh please George, you don't know this
gentleman well enough to say that about him.

- I'm sorry, would you explain that please?
- Certainly.

Miss Allen, have you never
seen a toasted marshmallow?

No, but I'm dying to see you that way.
I'll bet you're a scream.

Well, here we go.

John, I insist you
make Reggie stop that noise.

Noise? It's dance music, Swing.

Swing? In Tottney castle?

It's time the old place
was brightened up a bit.

Oh, how do you? I'm so glad to see you.

- Oh, you're grand.
- Really?

- Well, thanks.
- Oh yes, you're a beautiful dancer.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

You know, if it weren't for two
things you'd be a terrific dancer.

- What's that?
- You're feet.

Pardon me.

Does my heart good to see
your ladyship so happy tonight.

Thank you Palmer.

- Why, Albert.
- Your ladyship...

Oh goodness gracious,
Albert, what's the matter?

Your ladyship, Oh I can't tell you.

Oh, of course you can.

I won't give you away to Keggs.

- Have you been eating green apples again?
- No, it's not me stomach that's aching.

It's me heart.

- Albert, are you in love?
- No, but you are.

And with someone not worthy of your passion.

And to think that
I helped bring you together.

- That's what hurts.
- What do you mean?

That American, that Halliday.
Look what he went and wrote about you.

A nice, young, respectable
fellow I thought he was.

And when I heard your ladyship was gone
on him, I did all I could to help this out.

But I should've busted his
blooming head in when I first seen him.

That's what I should've done.
And I've got a good mind to do it.-

There, there, Albert,
you won't have to. Don't cry anymore.

- Good evening Mr. K.
- You're uncommonly gay young Albert.

- Any reason?
- Wouldn't you like to know.

- Did you say there was £10 in the pot?
- Yes and what of it?

You wouldn't know what to
do with all that money Mr. K.

Find father and tell him
not to admit Mr. Halliday.

Yes milady.

And tell him that I never want
to see the gentleman again.

Yes, milady.

♪ I was a stranger in the city ♪

♪ Out of town were the people I knew ♪

♪ I had that feeling of self-pity
♪ what to do, what to do, what to do? ♪

♪ The outlook was decidedly blue ♪

♪ But as I walked through
the foggy streets alone ♪

♪ It turned out to be
the luckiest day I've known ♪

♪ A foggy day in London town ♪

♪ Had me low and had me down ♪

♪ I viewed the morning with alarm ♪

♪ The British museum had lost its charm ♪

♪ How long I wondered
could this thing last? ♪

♪ But the age of miracles hadn't passed ♪

♪ For, suddenly, I saw you there ♪

♪ And through foggy London town
the sun was shining everywhere ♪

♪ How long I wondered
could this thing last? ♪

♪ But the age of miracles hadn't passed ♪

♪ For, suddenly, I saw you there ♪

♪ And through foggy London town
the sun was shining everywhere ♪

Excuse me your lordship,
are you watching for Mr. Halliday?

Yes.

Lady Alyce told me to tell
you he was not to be admitted.

What?

She never wants to see him again.
Thank you, mi lord.

Yoiks, yoiks, yoiks.

- Sorry sir, you're not to be admitted.
- Oh, I see.

- Good evening Mr. Halliday.
- Good evening Keggs.

- It is indeed a pleasure to see you sir.
- Is indeed a pleasure to see you too Keggs.

Nothing would please me more than to be
of some assistance to you Mr. Halliday.

You feel all right?

Why, on a romantic
night like this. Oh yes sir.

- Keggs, just what's on your mind?
- You wish to see lady Alyce, of course.

- I do.
- Very well.

Then I am happy to relate
that I am now in a position..

To extend to you
what is known as a helping hand.

You didn't exactly give me
that impression the last time we met.

No, but since then there's been a readjustment
of certain matters very close to me.

The result of which lady Alyce's wishes
and yours are very close to my heart.

Keggs, I have always felt that
beneath that macabre exterior...

- there lies a heart of gold.
- Thank you sir.

Do we mind if you slip in
through the music room door?

♪ The man who only lives to making money
♪ lives a life that isn't necessarily sunny ♪

♪ Likewise, the man who works for fame ♪

♪ There's no guarantee
that time won't erase his name ♪

♪ The fact is the only work
that really brings enjoyment ♪

♪ Is the kind that is for girl and boy meant
fall in love, you won't regret it ♪

♪ That's the best work
of all if you can get it ♪

♪ Holding hands at midnight
'neath a starry sky ♪

♪ Nice work if you can get it,
and you can get it if you try ♪

♪ Strolling with the one girl
sighing sigh after sigh,

♪ Boy it is ♪

♪ Nice work if you can get it,
and you can get it if you try if you try ♪

♪ Just imagine someone
waiting at the cottage door ♪

♪ Where 2 hearts become one
who could ask for anything more? ♪

♪ Loving one who loves you
and then taking that vow ♪

- ♪ Nice work if you can get it ♪
- ♪ and if you get it ♪

♪ Won't you tell me how?

♪ Holding hands at midnight... ♪

George look, Jerry is
pretending he's one of the singers.

A little louder Gracie,
everybody didn't hear you.

Oh all right, Jerry is pretending...

♪ Strolling with the one girl
sighing sigh after sigh ♪

♪ Nice work if you can get it,
and you can get it if you try ♪

♪ Just imagine someone waiting
at the cottage door, at the cottage door ♪

♪ Where 2 hearts become one ♪

♪ Loving one who loves you
and then taking that vow ♪

♪ It's nice work if you can get it and if
you get it ♪ won't you tell me how? ♪

Alyce.

- I got in.
- So I see.

Yes but it was very difficult.

- Why didn't you come to help me?
- Oh, I just thought I wouldn't.

- You just thought you wouldn't?
- I've changed my mind.

I don't understand.

Well, I was a little too tired to come
down, I'm awfully lazy, you know.

And it did seem a lot of trouble to take.

What's happened? I mean,
what's caused this sudden change in you?

Change?

Why yes, this afternoon you said...

Oh, surely you didn't
take that nonsense seriously.

Imagine, a man of the world like you. You
always believe everything a girl tells you?

Yes, when is a girl like you.

- How simple you are.
- I can't believe this is you.

Yes, it is.

And when you're leaving, you'll find
the front door much more convenient..

Than jumping from my balcony.
You might fall and break your neck.

- And if that happened...
- I wouldn't even notice it.

- No, it's you.
- Yes it is, at least I think it is.

I'm not quite sure.

Albert, have you ever been in an earthquake?

No.

Well, I've just been in one.
It's a very interesting experience.

You're going along great and then all of a
sudden the bottom drops out of the world.

Albert, my boy, we were misinformed.

I mean, regarding the state
of lady Alyce's feelings.

You were mistaken,
father was mistaken, I was mistaken.

Now I find she was mistaken.

- She does not love me.
- Did she say so?

- She did and in no uncertain terms.
- Shall I tell you something mister?

Yes do my boy and make
it funny, will you? I need a good laugh.

You aren't the first one to have this
happen to you, she does it to all the boys.

Well, that's some consolation.

Albert.

Well my little man, I've
got some good news for you.

Thank you Mr. K.

I'm going to give you
back your original ticket.

That's fair enough, isn't it?

- But I don't want Mr. Halliday.
- Oh yes, you do.

Or would you like me to remember
that I caught you eavesdropping?

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Well, now how are you getting along?

Oh, just wonderful, Reggie made up his mind.

- Oh, good.
- But I don't know whether she'll have me.

- Well, why don't you ask her?
- Well sure, you always ask a girl first.

You see, I don't know how to do
these things gracefully.

Well Reggie, maybe I
could help you a bit, just sit right down.

- Right there.
- That's it.

Now, I sit on your lap like this.

- Gracie, you sit right there.
- Oh, but isn't this fun?

It's fun, eh? Just carry on from there.

Well, now that that's over
with, will you marry me?

Yes.

- Did you say marry you?
- Yes.

Well, certainly.

- Well, thank you.
- Thank you.

- George?
- Yes?

We've just become engaged. What do we do now?

- Well, how about a little kiss?
- Oh, I'd be glad to.

Well.

Would you play this please?

- It's a request.
- Well, certainly Albert.

Good evening sir.

Good evening sir.

I asked you not to let to him in.

You know, you change your mind
so often I thought I'd make it up for you.

I believe you're moonstruck.

Your poor mother always got very
eccentric at the time of the full moon.

She used to write poetry
about elves and gnomes and things.

Father, would you mind
if we didn't dance anymore?

I've got a headache, I'm going to my room.

- Stop it.
- Who me?

Yes, you.

Letting the girl you love walk past you
without so much as an effort to stop her.

The spirit of Leonard?

Well, I couldn't very well
make a flying tackle, could I?

- I don't love her.
- Nonsense, of course you love her.

I suppose what's happened is
she's told she doesn't love you.

Dear boy, her mother told me that 100 times.

- And you married her.
- Well you see I...,

Why of course I married her.
At St. George's, Hanover square.

In a dash tight pair of trousers I remember.

If it isn't too personal,
how did you convince her?

By being firm, dash it, firm.

Resolute, ruthless.

- Oh hello, Johnny.
- Hello John.

Alyce is just like her mother,
always changing her mind.

First, it's the ski jumper, then it's you.
In my case was a roller-skating instructor.

He was the most conceited,
arrogant, supercilious...-

I'm sorry.

What I'm driving at is Alyce needs a lesson
just as her mother did and I gave it to her.

I dashed madly up to her room
and I said, Emmaline, I mean business.

Oh, I see.

You'll find her in her sitting room now.

Though you may not imagine it my boy,

I had the reputation in those days of
being quite a fellow with the ladies.

I could tell you an episode
of a tobacconist's assistant that...

well, that's neither here nor there.

Now, you go to her and
I'm glad I've not been too subtle.

Oh, do you think lady
Caroline will approve of this?

Never you mind about Caroline.

You do your part. I'll take care of her.

Right-o.

- Thomas?
- Yes mi lord.

Find lady Caroline...

tell her I want to see her in the
library immediately, it's most important.

Very good, mi lord.

- Who's there?
- Opportunity.

- And it only knocks once.
- What are you doing here?

I shall need a little time
to explain and also a little privacy.

- Palmer, stay here.
- Palmer, go.

- Go.
- Oh.

This is much better, don't you think?
You and I here alone.

- Get out of here.
- Oh no, I mean business.

I demand that you leave here, immediately.

I'm not the kind of fellow who can
be led on and then pushed aside...

just another one of those fish you've caught
until you reel it up alongside the boat...

and then give the bat, this time, the fish
jumps out of the water and bites you.

- Are you mad?
- Yes, I am. About you.

I'm like the northwest
mounted police, I always get my girl.

Get out of here.

Oh, anger makes you
even more beautiful Alyce.

I imagine you'll be very interesting
after I get to know you.

What you expect to accomplish by this?

You're the sort of girl who has to
have her mind made up for her.

And I am going to bend you to my will.

Oh I see. It ought to make a good story
for the papers, you, you wine press.

Wine press?

Beneath those twinkling feet, women's hearts
are crushed like grapes in a wine press.

- Where did you get that?
- I read it.

- In a newspaper?
- Yes.

And despite the fact that it might spoil your
publicity, I'm not going to be number 28.

This is the reason you
changed your mind about me.

- Yes.
- But it's entirely untrue.

And not one of these other women
exists except in his horrible imagination.

- Who?
- That wine press agent of mine, the idiot.

Oh Alyce, I can't tell you
how sorry I am you being in all this.,

Number 28.

Well, I wouldn't have minded being
number 28 if it weren't for the other 27.,

- I beg your pardon milady.
- Well, what is it Palmer?

There's something very
odd going on in lady Alyce's room.

Quite, quite, I understand.
You can go Palmer. Well, go go go.

You see? In half an hour,
it'll be all over the house.

What are we to do? What are we to do?

There's never been a scandal
in Tottney Castle before.

If I remember correctly, 150 years ago...

Lord Leonard was seen slipping into
lady Marshmorton's room.

Is it was quite slipped my memory.

But you recollect John,
they subsequently married.

Do you seriously suggest Alyce should
marry that awful bounder Halliday?

Of course...

there's nothing else to do. Otherwise, we
shall be centuries living down this scandal.

Come John, we will act.

And now, how are we going to break
the good news to aunt Caroline?

Well, I think father ought
to tell her after we tell him.

Father.

Ye, he always says that
he doesn't believe in letting the...

boy scouts do all the
good deeds, so here's his chance.

Good old father.

Alyce, open the door please.

She mustn't find
you here, it'll ruin everything.

But we're going to be married, aren't we?

Yes I know, but if she
finds you here now she won't...

understand, we'll
never be able to get married.

- Alyce, open the door please.
- Well, well, what can I do, hide?

You can't hide, they'll find you.

Alyce, Alyce.

- What shall I do?
- Do? Do again.

- Do what again?
- The leap, Leonard's leap.

- Leap?
- Yes.

Oh, of course, the leap.

But isn't there
some other way that we could...

Hurry, hurry.

- This one out here.
- Yes, that one.

- Oh, you meant over here.
- Yes, the leap.

Wait.

- He's done it again.
- What a man.

Young man, come back.

Are you all right?

- Come back, into the house.
- Me?

You ought to be ashamed of yourself Alyce.

Think of the scandal.
You might have at least considered us...

Ok, I'm inside.

You know, you only go on a honeymoon once.

Wouldn't you like
to go to Paris for a few days...

then Venice and then
home to your own little love nest?

Well George, I didn't think you cared.

- Goodbye, Reggie.
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.

- You can't leave Reggie like this.
- Oh, don't be silly.

You can't take him with us on our honeymoon.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, goodbye.

Goodb...

- My boy, we win.
- We do?

- You're going to marry Alyce.
- I am?

- Tonight.
- You mean it?

Come on, you tottney wildcats, give.