Original subtitles

♪ ♪

This sucks.

WOMAN: Dixon, how about a new phrase, like, uh,

"this bites" or "this blows?"

Because you've been saying, "This sucks,"

for the last 1,500 miles.

'Cause it sucks.

Come on. This is gonna be fun!

We got the weather.

We got the... the palm trees with, uh...

More palm trees. More palm trees.

(chuckles) You know,

this is gonna be fun.

Sucks, bites, blows.

(laughs)

Guys, this is where we are, okay?

Grandma needs us.

She's getting older, and it's family first.

Besides, your mother and I have

given up a lot for this move, too.

GIRL: Really?

Uh, have you given up your boyfriend

and the lead in the school play?

As a matter of fact, I have.

He's heartbroken about it, and so am I.

(laughter) You're such a dork!

Pop, just don't talk to us

during school hours, all right?

GIRL: Yeah, Mr. Principal.

(laughter)

♪ ♪

GIRL: Dad, I still can't believe

you grew up in a house like this.

DIXON: I can't believe you ever left.

WOMAN: Well, I can.

The ship has landed.

Come on, you can see Britney's house from here.

You have been amazing with this whole change.

Well, why wouldn't I be?

I've lived in Kansas my entire life.

If I don't try something new now, when will I?

And besides, they still get married in L.A., right?

Yeah.

Plenty of weddings for me to shoot.

Maybe you can shoot mine when I get my trophy wife.

(laughs)

Dude, I am your trophy wife.

(chuckles)

Annie!

Dixon! Grandma!

DIXON: You know I seen one of her

old movies on Showtime the other night, right?

She's got a lot of movies on TV.

She was naked, full frontal.

It's not right.

WOMAN: Oh.

Oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh. Hi.

(sighs)

(laughs)

Race you to the pool.

Tabitha.

Hello, dear. Mom.

Uh...

You got me.

Iced tea before noon.

Okay, maybe a little Long Island iced tea.

Somebody get Betty Ford on the line.

I'm just trying to help.

You want to help? Go yell at the gardener

for parking his crap wagon in my driveway.

Actually, that's our crap wagon, Tabitha.

Well, then park it around the corner

so the neighbors won't notice.

(minivan door closes)

(sighs) This is gonna suck.

♪ ♪

Aren't you a little freaked out

starting over at a new school?

And, like, a week late.

What are you worried about?

You already got, like, a boyfriend out here.

That Ethan dude.

That you made out with a couple summers ago

when you was out here with Grandma.

Okay, one: we did not make out; it was a kiss.

And he kissed me.

Yeah, I bet when he kissed you,

you were all, "Ethan!"

(laughs): Shut up!

We were not.

Ethan's a really nice guy,

but I haven't talked to him in, like, a year.

And I've got Jason now anyway.

But still, it's-it's gonna be a lot easier out here for you.

I mean, come on. You're a cute girl.

Dudes are gonna be throwing themselves at you.

Oh, please.

You had, like, a million friends.

There.

Back home.

And they all knew, you know?

About the whole adoption story.

Just don't want to have to tell my story

over and over and over again.

Then don't.

All they need to know is that you're my brother.

That's my story.

♪ ♪

ANNIE: Oh, my God.

Would you look at this?

It's like the Oscars, and everybody's Scarlett Johansson.

(chuckles)

You say that like it's a bad thing.

What? (scoffs)

Oh, my God!

There's Ethan.

Do you want to come say hi?

No.

You go have your reunion.

See you around the halls.

(school bell ringing)

Here's your copy. Coffee out of frame,

and let me just move this mic right here.

There you go. DIXON: Excuse me.

Is-is this journalism class?

Yes, it is, Dixon Wilson,

newly arrived from Wichita, Kansas,

brother of Annie

and also the son of the new principal

Harrison Wilson. I'm Navid.

I covered your story.

I kept the whole adoption angle out.

Figured that could be its own piece.

People, they eat that crap up.

Okay. Anyway, you can sit right here.

Jeremy's out all week with pink-eye,

so just, uh, watch where you put your hands.

So, anyway,

I hear you're trying out for lacrosse team.

I may cover it,

but I can't promise any photos.

Just watch out for Ethan Ward; he's the star player.

You'll know him when you see him.

He's the one with the spotlight shining out of his ass.

Guys, keep it down until after the news!

I'm producing this package.

Hey, Jeremy, you're back early; that's good.

GIRL: Good morning.

Y buenos dias.

I'm Hannah Zuckerman-Vasquez,

and this is your Blaze morning report.

Today's top story: West Beverly welcomes a new principal.

What is that girl, like, 30?

(laughter)

All right, guys, let's give a warm West Beverly welcome

to our newest student,

Miss Annie Wilson.

(sparse applause) Oh, come on.

You can do better than that.

Let's go. There we go.

(applause) Clapping. Yes.

(coughs): Narc.

(laughter)

That's real nice, George.

That's yet another girl

who's never gonna go out with you.

(laughter)

Where you from, Annie?

Uh, Wichita, Kansas.

Can anybody tell me the capital of Kansas?

Nobody knows the capital of Kansas?

Okay, that's great.

Uh, all right, who was the little guy

with the one name from, uh, Superbad?

ALL: McLovin.

Yes. Amazing.

Everybody knows McLovin.

Nobody has any clue that Topeka is the capital of Kansas.

Hey, thanks for showing up, Naomi.

So glad you could finally join us.

I was at the doctor.

(coughs): Gyno.

(laughter)

Yes, that's right, George.

I was at the gynecologist, who told me to remind you

to keep your vagina clean.

(laughter)

TEACHER: All right, well, Naomi,

why don't you put some

of that eloquence to work this week?

This is Annie.

She's new here. ANNIE: Hi.

Figured you might, uh, show her around.

Sort of like a

Beverly buddy.

(sighs)

Will there be anything else, Mr. Matthews?

Yeah, if you don't turn that paper in by tomorrow,

I'm gonna give you an "F."

(kids murmur)

MAN: Look at that hair.

Whoo!

I cannot believe that that is us.

That-that's quite a look I had going.

Hey, I'm the one who used to think

that Flock of Seagulls haircut was cool.

But then, I was ten.

Oh, back up, fashion queen.

I have pictures of you in polka dot spandex leggings.

See, this is good.

I could never talk to the old principal like this.

He was such a wuss.

He was completely intimidated by the board,

which you won't be, because you know

what Beverly Hills people are like.

Exactly why I moved to Kansas.

But now you're back.

Oh, yes, I am.

And, Miss Guidance Counselor, I'm hoping that you can

enlighten me on how to get my kids to like me again

after I told them we're moving.

Well, you could start by showing them that picture.

That'll get them laughing. (chuckles)

You're gonna be a pain in my ass, aren't you? Oh, yeah.

(school bell ringing)

She's def cute, but, I mean, her clothes.

She's probably poor.

Her dad's a principal.

Ew. ANNIE: Naomi.

Hey, uh, you so don't have to worry

about the whole Beverly buddy thing.

I can find my own way around. Oh, great.

Yeah, the teacher seemed like he was punishing you with it.

Yeah!

Thank you!

It's just that he does that to me all the time,

and I have my not-so-sweet 16 party this Friday.

I'm just stressed to the max.

And he's being a big bitch about the fact that I haven't

turned in my book report on A Tale of Two Cities.

Oh, I love that book.

(chuckles) Good one.

I did a paper on it last year.

Doesn't matter. I'm gonna get it done next week.

I've been telling him that. He just doesn't listen.

My mom's gonna take care of it, and...

Ethan!

Hi, honey.

I was looking

all over for you this morning.

Uh...

Completely got busted by Matthews.

(chuckles) Where were you?

Uh, I, uh, just had some lacrosse stuff to do.

ETHAN: Well, I'm sorry.

Ethan, this is Annie, the new principal's daughter.

Annie, my boyfriend Ethan.

Yeah, well, actually, yeah, we-we know each other.

Yeah, we... We met, like, two summers ago?

Yeah, our, uh, grandmothers are friends.

Oh, so you've hung out.

ANNIE: Yeah! Well, I mean...

Uh, just a little.

Adrianna! Not-not really.

Come here. Uh, this is Annie.

You guys should meet, 'cause, uh, Hi!

Hi. she's... you're into plays, right?

Yeah. NAOMI: You're into plays?

Well, Adrianna's the lead in Spring Awakening,

our musical here at the school. Oh, my God!

Really? Ugh.

I'm so jealous. I love Spring Awakening.

I really wanted to audition,

but I moved here too late.

Actually, I had to leave

my play back home.

And what was that?

♪ I'm very good at integral and differential calculus ♪

♪ I know the scientific names of beings animaloulous. ♪

Um...

it was this, uh, new, edgy

Rent-ish thing.

Anyway... (chuckles)

I'm doing scenery and stuff now.

Oh. (chuckles)

Well, that seems like the perfect place for you.

NAOMI: Well, it was a pleasure, Annie.

Ethan? Uh, yeah.

We'll see you around, Annie.

It was, uh... We'll talk.

Great.

They are such an amazing couple.

(school bell ringing)

(sighs)

Are you lost?

Completely.

So.

Hi.

Uh, how's your day going?

Apparently not as good as yours.

Yeah, listen,

I want to explain.

Uh, you don't need to explain a thing.

No, I-I feel like I do.

If you're gonna tell Naomi...

Uh, I'm not gonna tell her.

I'm not gonna tell anybody.

Wow, that's really cool.

Look, I'm not that guy.

What guy? Uh...

Can't get enough of this guy.

See you around, Annie.

I accidentally grabbed your book.

Yeah, I think I grabbed yours, too.

Listen, time's up. You owe $200.

Needs it by tomorrow.

Well, I don't have that.

But I'll get it.

Tomorrow.

I'll get it.

GIRL: What's this?

A notebook.

No, this.

A Division Day sticker.

That's impossible.

They have like eight fans total.

Where'd you get the sticker, new kid?

Brandon Flowers put one of their songs on his celebrity playlist.

And can you get your foot off my notebook?

Oh, tough girl.

Nice.

That's exactly how I found them.

Thank you. What?

Have some fries.

Will do. I'm Silver.

Silver?

Well, you can call me Erin,

but I'm not gonna respond.

So, look, I wasn't planning

on making you feel welcome here,

but then I saw the sticker, and I thought,

hey, maybe the principal's daughter

isn't such a big loser after all.

(chuckles) Thanks.

You'll learn to dig me-- trust me.

Yeah.

I need you now, pronto.

Come on. Hey, Naomi.

Hey, oh, if you need some help later

turning those Wheel of Fortune letters,

I can totally carve out some time.

Hey, sis.

What's going on? I'm saving you.

She's out of her mind, and you should not trust her.

She has this Web site,

and she makes messed-up videos of people.

Really? She seemed so nice to me.

Yeah, that's her MO.

So, listen, Ethan told me how cool you are

and how you're practically like family,

so I decided I'm gonna invite you

to my birthday party,

my not-so-sweet 16 birthday party.

It's this Friday.

It's going to be the night of your life.

What do you say?

Oh, my God, I'd love to.

Of course you would,

but you're gonna need new clothes,

so we'll go shopping after school.

Oh.

I just don't get why this paper can't wait till next week.

Naomi's got a huge birthday party,

and I don't want her all stressed out for it.

Come on, man. It's a birthday party

for a spoiled little princess.

I got it, Mr. Matthews.

Harry, we've spent a fortune on this party.

Surely, there's something you can do for us.

(chuckles) She didn't do the assignment.

What am I missing here?

Just have her write the paper, Charlie.

Nonnegotiable.

I'm taking this up to the board

because you're being ridiculous.

Ironic, isn't it, Harry?

If things had happened differently,

we'd be talking about our kid.

Yowza.

Whoa.

A lot going on there, huh? I would get back

to your class if I were you, Mr. Matthews.

See you around.

(sighs)

Mrs. Clark and I went out for a bit back in high school.

(suppressed giggling)

I'm never gonna learn to work this machine.

Whatever happened to regular coffee?

Willie!

And you really do that when you go online?

Ethan loves it.

I do everything to that boy.

I should do more, actually.

He's been a little distant lately.

Uh, hey, uh, listen,

thanks so much for taking me out.

No problem.

(phone ringing) Hello, I had fun.

I just really wish

you would've let me buy you that dress.

It looked amazing on you.

I cannot let you buy me

an $800 dress.

My dad would... Are you kidding me?

What? My mom just texted me.

I have to write that paper for Matthews by tomorrow.

How much have you written?

I haven't even started yet!

Oh, my God, I-I... I can't do this right now.

This is so not what I need.

I mean, I know if I just sat down

and started writing it, that I could get it done,

but thinking about staring

at a blank piece of paper...

What am I gonna do?

Well, I can help.

I told you, I got an "A" on that paper last year,

so I can give it to you,

and you can take some ideas from it.

Really?

(sighs)

That would be so awesome.

Sure... that way, you can see what it should look like.

I'll just email it to you

when I get home.

Oh, my God, you are a lifesaver.

Thank you so much. You're such a good friend.

♪ ♪

MATTHEWS: Come on, man.

Keep it going. Stay on him. There you go.

All right, Wilson, let's see what you got.

Come on, Dixon.

Awesome!

Whoo!

(cheering)

(cheering, whooping)

Looks like principal's kid's got some game.

There we go. There we go.

Guard him, George. Guard him. Guard him. Guard him.

Get that ball. What are you doing?

Wichita, in the house!

(chuckling)

Yo, man, you got some sick moves.

Thanks, Ethan.

MATTHEWS: All right, Wilson,

you made the team.

Why don't you roll with the ones, George?

Why don't you drop down to the twos for now?

Come on, guys, you can make out later.

Let's keep playing. Let's go!

Hey, come on, George.

Come on, man.

What?

Yo, hey, come on, come on!

Hey, come on.

Hey, guys, hey, break it up!

Did you kick his ass?

Mom.

What, that's not the first thing

you thought of when you heard he was in a fight?

Then, maybe that's why he lost.

I didn't lose.

Never worry about being fair.

Just grab on to those jewels,

and twist them like a garbage bag.

Mom!

Okay, okay.

I'll let you kids hash this out.

He checked me first.

Well, you have got to control your anger.

People don't know you here.

They're gonna judge you more harshly.

I just reacted.

I say it was racially motivated. Mom.

HARRY: Look,

I'm gonna talk to your coach tomorrow.

We'll get this all worked out.

And make sure he's not too rough on our baby.

Yeah, 'cause he is such a delicate flower.

(chuckling)

ANNIE: So listen,

you guys are cool with me going

to Naomi Clark's amazing birthday party

tomorrow night, right?

Well, that was fast-- I mean, Harry,

do you know this girl? Yeah, I know her family.

You can go.

Thanks, Dad.

TABITHA: Well, I'm going

to call Dan Tana's for some takeout...

not that your tater tots aren't to die for.

Whoa.

(chuckles)

You cannot tell anybody. You saw that?

Oh, I saw that. (laughing)

Oh, I saw all of that. Wow.

The thing is, I totally don't get

why Ethan would cheat on someone like Naomi.

Believe me...

if a dude is cheating on a chick like that,

he doesn't want to be with her anymore.

But she's so beautiful.

That doesn't mean she's not a pain in the ass.

(both laughing)

I love that dress. Oh, you know me, Adrianna.

Early birthday present to myself from myself.

Aren't I nice?

Uh, here, let me, uh...

let me get this one, ladies.

No, baby, it's on me tonight.

You guys get the table; I'll get the drinks.

Thank you.

(phone ringing) This is gonna be so much fun.

Excuse me.

How'd you get up here?

I could ask the same question about you.

You're just a teacher; didn't the cover charge

eat up your month's salary?

You should try applying some of that caustic wit

to your term paper that's due tomorrow.

Actually, it's done.

I decided it was better to do it than to fight it.

Well, I cannot wait to read that masterpiece.

You know, why are you always so mean to me?

Who says I'm being mean?

She's underage.

Don't serve her.

Oh, I guess that was mean.

Oops.

(doorbell ringing)

Welcome wagon.

So, then, Harry...

what were we, like 17?

I don't know.

Uh, you know, maybe we should call it...

So, then, Harry decides

that he wants to climb

on the "H" of the Hollywood sign

because he thinks it looks like a ladder.

Well, the whole thing comes crashing down,

and he slides on it for like 50 feet.

Oh, my God, did we laugh.

I mean, he's lucky he wasn't killed.

Well, that was a long time ago.

Can I call you a cab?

Oh, I have a better idea.

Why don't you drive me home?

Ooh, or even better, I could drive you home,

and we could swap stories about Harry's penis.

I have enough of my own. Thank you.

I'll see myself out. Good night.

(clearing throat)

Uh...

Okay, don't you ever give me grief

about dating Morris Kornblum ever again,

because that lady is crazy town.

Well, yeah, in my defense, I was a teenager.

She had a beach house.

Oh, Harry.

But Morris... he lived in a teepee; you were 22.

Yeah, yeah, let's go see Annie's dress

for tomorrow night.

DEBBIE: You are not gonna win this one.

Wow.

Who is this hot babe?

You like it, Mom?

It's beautiful.

Look at her ass.

You could crack an egg on it.

And I say that because, when I was her age,

Ricardo Montalban literally cracked an egg on mine.

I won't tell the rest of the story

because I don't remember it.

Sweetie, don't you think

that this is just a little less revealing?

Oh, for God's sake, who are you,

Jedidiah the Amish farmer?

Why don't you go churn us some butter.

(chuckling)

Beautiful.

It looks really beautiful.

I like it.

The thing is, Dixon didn't start it; George did.

He's just mad the guy's better, but George is all like,

"Oh, you have to do this for me, man.

"Just say he slashed me first and jumped me

and get him kicked off the team instead of me."

So, you have to lie for a guy you don't even like?

We're teammates. It's different.

Yes, if we weren't on the same team,

maybe I wouldn't hang out with him, but we are.

See, that's exactly why I hate lacrosse, Ethan.

You're not like those guys. You're not into anything,

so you don't understand.

I'm not into anything? What is that supposed to mean?

Well, not like sports or music. You shop.

(laughs) You think that's all I'm into?

God, we're talking about me,

and then, all of a sudden, it's about you.

Just forget it.

I'm gonna go home.

Ethan, wait.

I'm coming with you.

♪ ♪

(mooing)

Where's your cow?

Where's your boyfriend the cow?

(boys laughing)

Moo!

What is that all about?

Something you got to see.

This is Silver's blog, "The Vicious Circle."

And what do you know, half a million hits.

I'm Navid, by the way.

I produce the Blaze news. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Um, can you forward to the part?

Please. Thanks.

Way to block, dude.

Thanks.

Did you guys hear

that Beverly Hills just got invaded?

Yeah, it did.

So I got something special for you.

Something a little bit personal.

Check it out.

(banjo music playing)

Beverly Hills sure is nice.

Ain't it sweet, ol' love of mine.

(cow mooing) I like being a backstabbing bitch.

(laughter)

(school bell ringing)

I can't believe someone stole my purse.

Hey, they stole mine, too.

Hey. Saw the cow video.

Funny stuff.

Thanks.

I just don't get what I did

to make you so angry that you had to go

and do that. Gee, I don't know.

Maybe dissing me like I was a piece of garbage

to go sit with the Bratz dolls.

Okay, first of all, I didn't diss you.

Naomi pulled me away.

If I hurt your feelings

by sitting with someone you don't like, then I'm sorry.

It's not that I don't like her. I hate her.

Naomi is the Antichrist.

Well, the Antichrist didn't trash me

in front of half a million people.

You did.

So, how'd that go?

She wasn't so into it.

Can you blame her?

Silver, how many times have we had a talk

about this blog of yours?

All it does is cause problems.

Yeah, well, that's a blog's supposed to do.

Cause problems.

You know, you can't make me stop.

It's not like it's a school activity or...

Okay, I'm not talking to you

as the guidance counselor right now.

I am talking to you as your sister.

Okay, then as my sister

you know what Naomi did and why I hate her.

Yes, but this didn't hurt Naomi. It hurt Annie.

Come on. You've got to let go of that anger.

It's not doing you any good.

You don't want to end up like Mom.

Come on.

Please.

Just try, please.

Okay.

I'll try.

So...

how is Mom? She's fine.

You know, she's Mom.

I gotta go.

DIXON: Ethan.

Ethan, when you talk to the coach today

you're gonna tell him the truth, right?

You're gonna tell him that George started it, right?

Let's go, Ward. Now.

Dude, I gotta go.

GEORGE: We gotta talk.

And then Dixon

slashed George and...

George just reacted like anyone would have.

And you saw this?

Yeah.

You understand the consequences if you're lying?

Yes.

Mr. Wilson,

Ethan's never lied to me.

You wouldn't do that, right, Ethan?

You wouldn't look me in the eye

and lie to my face, would you?

No.

All right, well, because of what you just said,

I have no choice but to keep Dixon

from joining the team. We can't have players

who start fights.

You can go, Ethan.

That kid is lying.

Well, maybe, maybe not.

Were you there? I was and I didn't see it.

I know my son.

Harry, how many times you hear that from parents?

And what if

Dad can't get me back on the team?

I-I mean, I can't tell him this,

but he's, like, the whole reason why I play.

Like, he played lacrosse

so, you know, I thought if I played...

What?

When I'm on the field,

when he talks to me after a game,

it's like something we have together.

That's like our thing.

Like we're really father and son.

You are really father and son.

Don't even say that.

It's been eight years,

Dixon.

You're us.

I...

I just really want to play.

How could you do that

to my brother? How could you lie like that?

It's-it's not that simple. It is!

My God, you... you lie.

You cheat on your girlfriend.

A girl who, by the way, I like.

Do you remember what I told you I liked about you

the first time we met?

That I was frighteningly honest.

Yeah, I guess

I'm just wondering what the hell happened

to that guy that I liked from a couple summers ago.

Because this new one is an ass.

(school bell ringing)

"But more than a historical snapshot of divisions

"between classes, A Tale of Two Cities makes us

"examine the morality in our own lives

and the true meaning of sacrifice."

(applause)

Thank you, Naomi.

That was...

that was very well written.

I can't believe you copied the whole thing word for word.

What did you think I was going to do?

Not that.

Maybe take some ideas,

at least change it around a little.

What do you care? It was an old paper, right?

You should have asked me first.

I would have helped you if you needed it.

That's what friends do.

You did help me, Annie. You did.

I don't know why you're so hung up

on this.

Here.

It's the dress you loved from Maxfield.

I bought it for you, anyway, because

that's what friends do.

One, two, three...

♪ Mama who bore me ♪

♪ Mama who gave me ♪

♪ Mama, the angels who made me so sad ♪

♪ Mama who bore me... ♪

Not bad, right?

♪ ...No way to handle things who made me so sad... ♪

NAOMI: I'm so excited for the party tonight.

Everyone has RSVP'd already.

Um, Cory Kennedy is coming.

And Tillie and the Wall are performing.

I'm so excited. What do you think...

(indistinct chattering)

♪ Mama, the weeping ♪

♪ Mama, the angels ♪

♪ No sleep in heaven ♪

♪ Or Bethlehem... ♪

Okay, okay, uh, let's try this again.

Let's do the reprise to "Mama."

You know,

it's feeling a little thin, guys.

We need to thicken it up.

The vocals need to be strong,

okay? Hey, Miss Austin.

Why don't you add Annie?

She's been watching the rehearsal.

I'm sure she knows

all the words. Well, I think it's a little bit late.

I-I really do.

I really do, Miss Austin.

I've listened to the CD like a billion times

and I've been watching

all the steps, so,

I think I could really do this.

Um, okay, uh,

let's see what you can do. Grab a mic.

Take the center spot on stage.

Okay, let's take it from the top.

ANNIE/ADRIANNA: One, two, three...

♪ Mama who bore me ♪

♪ Mama who gave me ♪

♪ Mama, the angels ♪

♪ Who made me so sad ♪

♪Some pray that one day ♪ ♪One day ♪

♪ Christ will come a-comin' ♪

♪ They light a candle ♪

♪ And hope that it glows ♪

♪ And some just lie there crying ♪

♪ For Him to come and find them ♪

♪ But when He comes, they don't know how to go ♪

♪ Oh... ♪ ♪ Mama. ♪

(scattered applause)

That was excellent,

Annie.

How would you like to put down the paintbrush

and join the chorus?

I would so love to.

Thank you! Thank you so much. It was great.

(chuckles)

You're welcome. See you tomorrow.

Dad, I just got to perform.

Did you see that? It was...

so much fun!

We need to talk.

Why did Naomi Clark turn in your paper?

Naomi, I'll deal with you after I make a call.

Annie, you wait for me here

till the end of the day.

I cannot believe you told your dad everything.

Are you kidding me? He recognized the paper.

And Mr. Matthews could tell, too.

What was I supposed to do?

Cry. Threaten him.

Be creative.

You sound like a spoiled brat.

Well, you sound like a little bitch.

And just so we're clear, you're completely

disinvited to my birthday party.

'Cause I care.

Oh, you should.

Did you see if Wilson was crying?

Dude, shut up.

Dude, don't be such a puss.

Who cares about that puss?

You want to fight?

She wants to keep the cheating off her record,

she writes me a new paper on a new book by the end of the day.

Well, that's impossible.

She can't.

Well, then that kills any chance she has

of joining her sister at Yale.

She's not going to Yale.

What does that mean?

Just that you have other interests.

I'm just as smart as Jen, Mom.

Honey, all I meant is that you have your big party tonight.

You have to have

your final fitting.

Sweetie, you've been emotional.

You've had your purse stolen...

Can you stop making excuses for her?

Naomi, do you hear this?

Mr. Matthews doesn't think

you can do it; your mother doesn't think you can do it.

Oh, don't talk to my daughter like that.

I am trying to get her to take responsibility for her life.

Oh, you're one to talk.

This is about Naomi.

And you're being lazy.

I think you're smart.

I think you can do it.

Come on, Naomi. Prove 'em wrong.

Unless, of course, I'm way off base, and you cheated

because you aren't smart enough

and you do need another week.

Honey, take another week.

I don't need another week!

I didn't cheat because I couldn't write the paper.

I'll write the stupid paper right now, Mom.

I'll show you...

Naomi, you... Mom,

could you just...

could you just leave?

So, look, I'm not great at apologies,

but I shouldn't have posted that cow video,

and I was hoping that by helping you get in the play,

I don't know, maybe that makes us cool.

Maybe friends.

Yeah, that'd be great.

(both chuckle)

Ethan, what happened to you?

Tell your brother he's back on the team.

(car starts)

Dixon, Dixon.

You're back on the team.

What? Yeah, I know, I wanted

to see your face when I told you.

I spoke to Ethan and I guess he told the coach the truth.

Oh, man.

Ethan is going to kill me when he finds out

what I did to get even with him.

(groaning): What did you do?

I, uh, sent the text to Naomi

saying that Ethan was cheating on her.

What?! Why? Why would you do that?

Look, I'm sorry, all right, but I just reacted.

I was angry. I'm the only one

who saw him with that girl.

He's going to think that I...

What am I going to do?

What am I going to do?

DEBBIE: Do you think it's fair that we

let Dixon go to the party after he gets into a fight

but we ground Annie?

Wha-What, we should just let her not have any punishment?

No, but it could have started tomorrow.

Back home, yeah, but here,

I just feel like there's so much more temptation

and ways to get into trouble.

I feel like we need to be tougher.

I guess I feel like sometimes

we bend over backwards for Dixon,

but we don't do the same for Annie.

(knocking)

Annie.

Sweetheart?

Your mom and I have talked

and we've decided you can go to the party.

Annie?

That's weird.

Mom, have you seen Annie?

Yes,

just before she left, and she looked smoking.

(rhythmic clapping)

("Pot Kettle Black" by Tilly and the Wall playing)

♪ I bet you think we didn't know ♪

♪ Didn't even see the tides change ♪

♪ But it's a small, small world, girl ♪

♪ Gettin' even smaller every day... ♪

Hi. Hey, Naomi!

Cory,

Mark.

Great party.

(laughs)

Maybe Ethan's not even going to be here.

Maybe they broke up already.

Either way, I have to apologize to him.

And plus, if she confronted him already,

then, you know, I'm gonna have to take the rap for it.

Either way, we're going to have to tell him.

It's just the right thing to do.

Do you guys go to church or something?

(both laugh)

Keep in touch, D.

All right.

There's some good shots right here.

Who is that?

Not a Chance in Hell is what you call her.

Just remember, I got you in.

You're not a guest. You're my bitch.

Now go get some footage for our story.

Bitch?

We need to talk about your people skills.

ANNIE: I can't believe we're crashing Naomi's party.

♪ Some of us can see through your stained glass eyes ♪

♪ Pot kettle, pot kettle black ♪

♪ Talk that, talk that smack... ♪

What'd I tell you?

Lame.

ANNIE: Okay, let's go find Ethan.

♪ Watch your back ♪

♪ Oh, my God, did you hear ♪

♪ About that ... and what she did? ♪

Debbie, there's like a million kids here.

I'll never find her.

See you at home. Harry?

What are you doing here?

(chuckles)

Long story.

We need to talk.

Okay.

♪ All these people talking 'bout you now ♪

♪ They don't make no difference, no... ♪

Have you guys seen Ethan?

Dixon.

Your sister is not going to believe this.

What?

Oh, no, I'm telling her.

♪ Let's break it down... ♪

Her purse was stolen?

Last night

at the Pit.

Hers and Adrianna's.

Wallet, keys, Sidekick.

So she never got the text.

She never got it? Never got it.

She never got it! Aah!

Thank you, God.

You really do go to church, don't you?

Hey, sorry I'm late.

(singsongy): Look what I got back.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, where did you get it?

The guy from The Pit called me.

They found our purses.

Where?

I don't know. They just found them.

♪ Believe me ♪

♪ There is nothing stopping you ♪

♪ There is nothing stopping me... ♪

I'm still really angry, Harry.

I had no idea how to handle it, okay?

We were broken up. What do you want me to say?

Do you want me to say I'm sorry?

Yes. Okay, I am sorry

that I freaked out,

but that was over 20 years ago,

and besides, I did--

I called to find out about you,

and your mother said

you'd gone off to Europe for the year.

I didn't go off to Europe for the year

and I didn't go to the clinic.

I went away to have our baby.

So that he could be adopted.

We have a son together.

(cheering and applause)

Okay, please, listen.

I just really want to thank you for coming out tonight

and helping us celebrate Naomi's birthday.

(cheering and applause)

Wait, I thought her Sidekick was stolen.

And, uh, you know, I could, I could drone on,

but what I really want

to do is meet the guest of honor,

and I can't think of a better way to do that

than for Naomi and Ethan to share a dance,

so give it up for the sweetest

and the most beautiful 16 you ever saw,

my daughter Naomi Clark.

(cheering and applause)

♪ ♪

You look beautiful.

(sighs)

I love you.

Is it true?

Are you cheating on me?

Tell me.

Tell me the truth and don't... don't lie to me.

(chuckles)

Well, come on. Everybody, join in.

Thank you

so much for making this

the best birthday ever.

(sighs)

I feel so terrible.

I wanted to tell him.

I know you did.

Do you want to get out of here, go to a real party?

With normal people?

Yeah. Yes.

Yeah, let's go find Dixon and Navid.

Is it like this every week?

Pretty much.

There's a whole world outside of Beverly Hills.

(chuckles)

Is that Ethan?

I told you you would find him here.

Ethan, I am

so sorry about everything.

I saw what happened.

Well, you were right.

I have become a complete ass.

Not complete.

You did help Dixon. What made you do that?

I don't know.

I guess I was... trying to find that guy

that you liked a couple summers ago.

♪ ♪

(laughs)

But thank you.

Annie. Uh-huh.

We'll talk.

He's been asking about you.

Uh, I can't talk.

He just came in.

Hey. I can't sleep, Mommy.

Aw... come here.

I'll rock you.

You know who else can't sleep?

Who?

The tickle monster.

(both laughing)

This place...

definitely doesn't suck.

(chuckles) Definitely.

Annie, come on. Let's go! Welcome to California.

Come on.

Whoo!

♪ ♪

Good morning.

Well, my damn computer froze up again.

What'd you spill on it this time, Mom?

Scotch.

I mean, iced tea.

Yeah. The good iced tea, too.

I'll take it to the repair shop for you.

Oh, no, I'll do it myself.

I need to pick up some more iced tea anyway.

Mom, you can't drive.

That's why there's that big sticker on your heart medication

that says not to operate heavy machinery.

Oh, pish.

It's a Mercedes, not a corn thresher.

I need to finish my memoirs

before my friend Virginia does.

We've slept with all of the same people.

Wow. If I would have walked in

five seconds later, I wouldn't have had to hear that.

Mom, let Debbie get it. You just...

Honey, you okay?

Jason and I broke up.

Oh... I'm sorry. Oh, what a shame.

It just comes down

to we are both geographically undesirable.

Well, I could have

told you that was gonna happen.

It doesn't make it any easier. Move!

I say

good-bye to Huckleberry Finn

and hello to California boys.

Dixon, I'm gonna grab my keys

and then I'll take you to practice.

Could we talk for a second, honey?

Tracy called again this morning.

What are you gonna do?

I have no idea.

I think I'm still in shock.

Listen, I want to handle this the right way

for you and me.

I know it's been a tough weekend, but you gotta tell me

how I can help you.

I don't know, Harry.

I didn't expect to wake up Saturday morning

and hear that my husband has a child

with another woman.

This could be such a major adjustment for our family.

I'm sorry this dropped in your lap, but I promise you

that we will handle this together. I will...

(two phones rings)

This is Antonio. First day on the job

and he's called me ten times about the shoot.

School.

You know what? We should...

Talk about this tonight?

Yeah, tonight.

Yeah, Antonio.

Yeah. That's a great idea.

What? The whole front hallway?

Unbelievable.

Pali Hi lacrosse team did this?

DIXON: They got us good.

Listen up, team.

I know you guys are pissed. I get it.

I would want revenge if I were in

your shoes, too, but we're not gonna retaliate.

Are you kidding me?! Look at the ground!

I'm not kidding! No, we'll let the school board handle this.

We'll get back at them

on the field, not off the field.

That's a terrible idea.

Didn't ask your opinion.

Look, come on,

gentlemen, this gives us a chance to show

what kind of character we have.

What kind of men we are.

What, wussy men?

There's to be no retaliation

or pranks on Palisades Hall. End of discussion.

Am I clear?

Am I clear?

Guys, come on. You heard the principal.

Yes, Mr. Wilson.

Yes, Mr. Wilson. Yes, Mr. Wilson.

Yes, Dad.

Hi.

Hi.

Here, I, uh,

got this. It didn't travel well,

but it made me think of you, so...

Because it's crushed?

Are we gonna be okay?

I hope so.

I'll meet you after class.

Why don't you watch where you're going, Ward?

You need a hug, dude?

Hey, it's gonna be okay.

Everything's gonna be okay.

Hey, Annie.

Hey. Hey, uh, listen, I just want to say

I'm sorry for all the stuff I put you through last week.

It's okay.

Well, no, it's not,

but anyway, um, how are you?

Um, Jason broke up with me.

My boyfriend from back home?

Wow, that sucks.

Yeah. Um,

Do you want me to, like, kick his ass?

'Cause I could totally do that for you.

He'd kill you, but, uh, thanks for the thought.

Wait. He'd kill me?

(bell rings)

(acoustic guitar playing softly)

♪ A mystic wisdom rising with them ♪

♪ To shore ♪

Oh, I am, I am,

so sorry.

Was I that bad?

Oh, my God, no-no-no. Uh, not...

It was great.

You just... You have a really nice voice.

Uh, I-I'm Annie.

I'm in the musical, too.

But I'm just in the chorus.

You probably never noticed me

'cause why would you look behind you?

I've noticed you, Annie.

Oh.

Oh, you dropped this.

Thank you.

I'm just, I'm in rehearsal.

Please go do your thing.

Thanks. We'll just start from the top, I guess.

All right, let's start

with last night's reading.

Uh, who wants to tell me what a haiku is?

And if you say a haiku is the new sushi roll at Koi,

well, that would be incorrect.

ADRIANNA (softly): ♪ I let your lies build up inside... ♪

Hey!

Oh, I'm sorry.

(bell rings)

Adriana, what's up with you? Are you okay?

Yeah. I'm just distracted.

I have this really big audition

for this movie this week

and I just haven't

been able to sleep.

And if you get it, what then?

Well, then I'd be in a movie, make lots of money.

So, what, you can buy a new cell phone

or maybe a fancy pair of shoes?

Maybe an expensive car you really don't need?

No,

so I can pay the mortgage 'cause my mom can't.

Well, did you enjoy my party?

I know we shouldn't have crashed, but...

Oh! Cool tattoo.

Yeah. No, I don't blame you.

I mean, it was a fabulous party.

I just didn't expect to see you there, you know,

with all your morals and everything.

Thank you.

(huffs)

Ms. Taylor?

Mr. Matthews.

You know, if you sit with me,

I'll let you have half my sandwich.

How about I sit with you and you keep your sandwich?

Well, you're too easy.

Anyone ever tell you that?

Not lately.

(whispering)

So, guys, uh...

are we gonna get 'em back or what?

Uh, no, man. I mean, you heard

what Mr. Wilson said.

I mean, uh, your dad.

No retaliation, right?

Come on, guys. I want in on this.

I'm not gonna tell anyone.

Dude, you're the principal's kid.

I mean, what are we,

stupid?

I think this may be my best blogisode yet.

Now, why does that scare me?

You shouldn't be scared. Others should be scared.

Okay, seriously, Silver, it's kinda mean,

and it makes me feel like I can't tell you stuff.

In fact, I probably already told you too much.

Okay, what was that?

What? "What?"

Mm, Ty Collins just practically put his tongue in your mouth.

That's what.

Shut up!

Okay, you are obviously too messed up

to see what's right in front of you,

so let me be your eyes.

Ty Collins is into you?

You should be into Ty Collins.

Or so to speak.

Okay, can you just give me one second

because my old relationship ended six hours ago?

Okay, the cure for a breakup is a hookup.

Now, he does tend to leave

brokenhearted girls sobbing at his locker,

but for a temporary distraction, he's your man.

That is a terrible recommendation.

And I really don't think he's that into me.

(scoffs): Yeah...

'cause you're such a dork.

Thanks.

Hey, Annie.

Hey. Hey, Ty.

Want to grab dinner tonight after rehearsal?

Um... uh, yeah.

Great.

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

I don't know why people cheat.

Who are you

and why are you speaking to me?

(Silver's voice): Welcome to my first installment of Puppet Revenge Theater.

This episode is entitled "We're Fighting... Again"

How could you cheat on me?!

I think I'm so beautiful.

I love lacrosse.

No! No, no, you're supposed to love me!

'Cause you're the only one

stupid enough to actually think

that I'm interesting.

I love lacrosse.

Hi, Ethan.

Can we go to you car and check out

your lacrosse stick together?

♪ ♪

Everybody's seen it, Ethan!

Everyone knows! I know, I'm sorry.

(bell rings)

NINA: That slap's going to be legendary.

Too bad that's not on Silver's site.

Maybe you can reenact it.

Ooh.

The harder the slap, the faster they run back.

You should so write a relationship blog.

NAOMI: Mm-hmm. Wait till you see the second part of my plan.

Why do you want to do anything with those jock asses anyway?

They're just gonna end up selling tires or car insurance.

Oh! Killed ya!

Buh-bye.

Look, the fun part about being on a team

is being part of the team,

and you wouldn't know that because you were never on one.

How do you keep doing that?!

Because you are my bitch.

I was on a team in the sixth grade.

I played soccer with all those guys.

But I kept scoring for the other team,

so we respectfully parted ways.

I hit you first!

Then why are you dead?

Look, I just got to come up with the dopest prank ever, kid.

Like, just crazy.

So they won't even think of me as the principal's kid anymore.

Suck on that! Suck on that!

Sweet, dude, you ate my head.

(chuckles)

So what are you going to do?

I don't know.

You got anything?

DEBBIE: Honey, I'm swamped at work. Is this important?

ANNIE: I'm just going to go grab a bite with a friend from the play.

Is that okay? What bite, what friend?

Just this guy, who...

Is this a date? That was fast.

It's not a date, Mom.

It's just a hang.

A hang? On a school night?

I know it's a school night,

but it's just a guy from the play.

His name is Ty,

and we just want to, you know, talk about the play...

Nothing special, we just want to hang...

Okay, slow down.

It'd be nice to have something

to take my mind off Jason, you know.

And I promise I won't be out late.

I didn't say yes yet.

Come on, Mom, please.

Okay, I'll make you a deal.

I'm going to be working later than I thought,

so can you and Ty stop by, pick up Grandma's computer

and drop it off to her before your hang?

Will do.

Be home by 10:00. I love you.

I will see you at 9:59.

All right, here we go.

Bullitt Central High School in Shepherdsville, Kentucky,

put Nair in the other team's

jockstraps. Do you really want to touch the other team's jockstraps?

Good point.

Hello, gentlemen.

Hey Grandma, what's up?

Oh, just waiting for Annie to bring my computer back.

I heard about the trash at school.

Yeah.

You know, your dad

loved a good prank.

His senior year, he and the team

got 50 pigs, God only knows from where--

and released them on Palisade's field.

Took them six hours

to catch them all

and then they had to play the game in pig poop.

(chuckles)

I'll let you get back to your studies.

I think I have an idea.

So where are we?

This looks like an airport.

TY: It is.

ANNIE: The planes seem small.

TY: Private planes, private airport.

So, uh... where's the restaurant.

Oh, it's in San Francisco.

Ooh.

He has a jet, Silver. A jet.

Okay, it's the coolest thing ever.

It's like Pretty Woman, but I'm not a whore.

Yeah, well, he is the richest guy in school.

And I have a solid say-yes-to-jet policy,

so what's the problem?

The problem is that my mom would kill me,

because she almost didn't let me go

when she thought we were eating at Astro Burger.

Well, okay, it's, like, an hour flight, right?

It's like being stuck on Sunset in traffic.

Okay, so you think I should...?

Stop being such a farm girl and go.

I'll talk to you later.

Hey, Naomi, I'm so sorry

to hear about Ethan rejecting you.

You are such a good person.

You really deserve to be happy.

He didn't reject her, Bitch Lips.

She slapped him.

Yeah, his cheating was really an act of love.

See you around,

Cheetah Girls. Nobody break a nail.

Just so you know, I'm going to try and play it cool,

but I am totally freaking out right now.

I'm freaking out, too.

I just talked to the pilot and he's slurring his words.

Are you serious?

(chuckles): No, I'm not.

You call your mom, freak out about a plane...

It's...

it's cute.

That doesn't sound like a good thing.

It's a great thing.

Yes, I hated the business side

of the fashion world and I had my degree in psychology,

so I thought, why not?

I went back and got my Masters and here I am.

How about you?

How did you get started in teaching?

For the chicks.

Listen, I wanted to ask you something

outside of school.

Will you go to dinner with me sometime?

I don't know.

Yikes. Is that like a, I'm-just-not-that-into-you,

"I don't know," or is it more of a

I'm-going-to-play-coy- and-make-him-sweat

"I don't know"?

I would have to get a babysitter.

You have a kid?

And this is where you can retract the offer

with no hard feelings.

No, it doesn't bother me.

You know, everybody comes with some baggage.

Oh, uh... I don't really consider my son baggage,

but okay.

I don't know why it came out like that.

I didn't mean that, okay?

What I meant was...

was...

How old is he?

Four and a half.

Four and a half-- that...

that is a wonderful age.

I don't know if that's true.

I just... I hear people say it,

and I just thought maybe it was...

it was the right thing to say.

See you later. Yeah. See ya.

Never. Real bad.

MAN: Okay, everybody, rehearsal in five minutes.

So your dad's like a movie producer or something, right?

Yeah.

There they are.

(chuckles)

This is crazy.

Hey, what time do you guys wrap?

Uh, another couple of hours.

All right, we'll be back soon.

Hey, buddy, this way.

Hey. Hey.

Hey, Lila, good to see you.

What kind of movies does your dad produce?

Porn.

He's the biggest producer

of X-rated movies in the world.

So can we stay and watch?

Dude, no. Why not?!

Dude, my dad only has two rules--

no watching porn until I'm 21,

and we always eat dinner together.

MAN: We need the rest of the livestock.

♪ ♪

I wish I knew what you were thinking.

I am thinking...

that I just had the best meal that I've ever had

at the fanciest restaurant I've ever been to.

Where did you learn to speak Italian?

Oh, well, that's the upside

of spending all my summers in Italy.

And what would be the downside?

There is none.

This night is nothing like I thought it would be.

Is that a good thing?

It's a great thing.

By yourself, Kel?

No, I'm meeting someone.

Nat, give me a shake and French fries, extra crispy.

Ah!

Brenda! Hi!

Hi.

Wow, look at you. It's so good to see both of you

in this place again.

How's your brother?

Brandon is good.

He told me to tell you that every single time

He thinks of you, he craves a Mega Burger.

I made an impression.

(laughing)

And he told me to tell you, that you are beautiful.

Yes, he said that on the phone at 3:00 a.m.

when he called from Belize.

What is with you Walsh kids?

You can't stay in one place.

Well, I'm here for at least a month doing the play.

So that should count for something.

Yes, it does.

Listen, I was thinking...

we should spend some more time together.

I mean, it's been too long.

The last time you saw Sammy was when he was a baby.

I know.

And, you know, I was thinking that we've wasted a lot of time

over the last couple years, you know.

Yeah, I know.

So what do you say we stop wasting it

and get back to where we were?

It sounds great.

My only question is, what are we doing here

just having milkshakes? That's a good question. Nat?

Dude, I can still see the slap mark on your face.

Whatever. At least I've got somebody who cares

enough about me to slap me.

Better than you and your hand.

All right, this prank, better be good.

And what is he doing here?

I mean, he's not even on the team.

Yeah, I'm participating as a fan.

I think I have a shrine to you in my room, Mikey.

Oh, funny.

Look, guys, if y'all don't like the idea, we can do this alone.

Yeah, let's see what you got.

Whoa, where'd you get these?

They're my dad's.

Why are porn dudes so freaky?

DIXON: You guys, guys, hold 'em back, hold 'em back.

We've got to get these jerseys on 'em.

Look, there's just three pigs.

But when they see the number four,

they're going to be looking for the other number all day.

Dude, this is sick.

I mean, disgusting... but also sick.

It stinks.

Aw, I stepped in it.

♪ ♪

I seriously think we'd be really great together.

(chuckles) With my beauty and your brains,

there's nothing we couldn't do.

(chuckles): Is that right?

You want to know something?

No, not really.

When we were in eighth grade,

I loved sitting behind you in history

because your hair smelled like grapefruits. (laughs)

Why are you so weird?

(chuckles): I'm just saying what I'm thinking.

Oh, well, you know what, that's scary.

(laughs)

(laughing): Very, very scary, actually.

ANNIE: Come on, tell me. TY: What?

How many girls have you flown to San Francisco on your first date?

Uh, you're buzzing.

(groans)

Geez, eight messages!

Oh, sorry, uh,

we don't get cell service

when we're in flight. Oh, no.

What's wrong?

M-My grandma was in an accident.

A car accident.

ANNIE: I am so sorry.

DEBBIE: You should be.

Tabitha picked up her computer

because obviously you couldn't be bothered.

Oh, my God, I totally forgot.

How is she? She is okay now.

She's upstairs talking with one of her friends.

I have no excuse except I was distracted

because I was having fun hanging out with a new friend

and I just forgot.

(groans): Punish me, do whatever you need.

I am so sorry.

Well, appreciate your honesty, Annie.

No more dates on a school night.

Hey, where is this Ty guy?

I thought it better that he didn't come in.

Yeah.

So, then Pacino says,

(imitates Pacino): I don't care who cooked it, I'm not eating it.

(hysterical laughter)

Well, I think he would eat it now.

(laughs) And anything else you put in front of him.

(laughter)

(knocking)

Tabitha, someone's here

to check on you.

Grandma... are you okay?

Oh, sweetie, I'm fine.

Did you hear?

I nailed an SUV.

The big bastard was taking up three spots.

(laughs): Hi, Mrs. Brewer.

(laughs): Hi, Annie. It's so good to see you.

I believe you know my grandson.

Hey.

Hi.

So...

you like him?

Yeah. Yeah, I like him.

We had fun.

A-At the very least, we'll be friends.

Just friends, or...?

Well, that's the most important thing.

If we can't be that, then we can't be anything else.

right? Right.

♪ Nothing's gonna stop me but divine intervention... ♪

Are we friends? (laughs softly)

Hey, remember that Fourth of July at the pier?

That was fun.

Oh yeah! Yeah!

I'm still mad at you about that,

by the way-- you were supposed

to send me those pictures of the octopus...

Oh, the penta-pus-- it only had five tentacles.

Yes, yes, the penta-pus. Yes.

Of course, the penta-pus that I won, yeah. That I won.

E-Excuse me-- who was the one

who threw the ball that knocked over

the last milk bottle? Aw, it was wobbling already.

It was already falling down.

You just grabbed the ball and threw it

as it was going down-- that doesn't...

And knocked it over-- which is why I won

the penta-pus, thank you very much.

God, that was the ugliest thing I've ever seen.

(laughs) It was.

I-I bet you it was stuffed with asbestos or something.

I got a rash for a week after holding that thing.

It was not good. Not good.

Whatever happened to that thing?

I don't know.

Probably just... dissolved.

So...

how are things with you and Naomi?

Not good.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, I am, too.

About a lot of things.

VIRGINIA: Ethan, time to go.

Well, that's my exit.

(exhales): Your grandmother has trouble driving, too, huh?

God, it must suck getting old.

Yeah, actually, uh...

she drives just fine.

See you around, Annie.

HARRY: So, nobody knows anything about the four pigs

that destroyed Palisades Hall's cafeteria last night?

Really.

Interesting.

Besides extensive property damage,

they had to call animal control, who's been looking

for the pigs, trying to round them up for the last ten hours,

and just can't seem to find them all.

(quiet laughing)

You know, a lot of schools hate Palisades.

It could've been any of them..

No. These pigs were wearing

West Beverly lacrosse jerseys.

Yeah, it's probably us.

Was I not clear when I said

no retaliation?

Let me be clear about this--

if one of you doesn't step forward

by 1:00 today

and take responsibility for this,

your lacrosse season... is over.

Aw, come on! What?!

That's not fair. You can't do that.

It's funny guys, but someone's got to come clean.

Still running lines?

Yeah, I'm almost off script.

You ready for your audition?

My mom thinks I am.

What about you?

Yeah. That's what I meant.

I'm ready. I'm on it.

You know, it's all over school,

about you and George.

(laughs): I know.

Has Ethan called?

Meeting tonight.

Told you it would work. Good luck.

You, too.

(bell rings)

I need you to tell me if you know anything. How can you

ask me that? It'll be much better if somebody steps forward.

So you're asking me to rat on my team?

They barely trust me as it is.

You don't think that they know I'm in here right now,

thinking I'm giving them up?

Is there something to give up?

Are you asking me this as my dad or as my principal?

Because my dad would be on my side.

Your father and your principal

are trying to teach you something about character.

By ratting on my team. No.

By taking responsibility for your actions.

Whoever is involved with this has to come forward,

or the entire team gets punished.

Fine! It was me.

What was?

I did it.

Did what? I-I-I...

let the pigs loose, I-I planned everything,

I did everything by myself.

(laughs)

Come on, Dixon.

What? You don't believe me?

No. No, I don't believe you.

Where do you think I got the idea from?

Grandma told me about your pig prank when you were on the team.

(groans)

(exhales)

Okay.

Are you absolutely certain that...

you want to take full responsibility for this?

All on your head?

All of it, by yourself?

Easiest decision I've made since I got here.

Okay.

Skyler.

(coughs)

Adrianna?

I think she left.

Okay.

SILVER: So, come on, spill it.

Did you join the Mile-High Club?

We didn't even kiss.

Of course, I was so nervous

that I was talking incessantly

and didn't give him the chance to.

Yeah. Well, you did get to fly on a private jet.

That makes you a winner; I am a loser.

I stayed at the Pit and drank coffee all night.

Loser!

(both laugh)

Hey, uh, cool tattoo.

What does it mean?

Um... it's the Chinese symbol for friendship,

'cause, you know, friends are cool.

Naomi has the same one.

Yeah.

(groans softly): All right...

in eighth grade, my dad had an affair

with my mom's best friend.

(laughs): I was... God, I was so angry.

You know, so unbelievably scared

that she'd find out, you know, and she'd get a divorce

or... start drinking again.

So I... I didn't tell anybody, I kept it a secret,

but then it started eating away at me, and I just...

I had to tell someone.

So... I told my best friend, Naomi.

She promised me that she wouldn't tell anyone.

So she told everyone. Why-why would she

do that?

Because she needs to know more than anyone else.

Because it gives her power to tear people down.

So...

my mom found out.

She confronted my dad,

and everything that I prayed wouldn't happen happened.

So...

now it is my greatest pleasure to make her pay for it.

Wow.

I'm sorry.

Adrianna... hey.

Hi.

Listen, um, how was the audition?

Oh, it was great! Really great.

Actually, um, it's between me and one other girl,

so keep you fingers crossed.

Wow, I will.

Hey, congratulations.

Thank you.

You didn't have to do that, man.

Don't worry about it, man.

It was my idea anyway.

Yeah, but now he cut you from the team.

Yeah, but there were other guys on the team

who had nothing to do with it.

And they would have been screwed

for the whole season.

I had to do it, man.

See you later.

You think his dad'll put him back on the team?

I don't know.

Hey, Mr. Wilson.

What can I do for you, Mr. Ward?

Dixon didn't do it alone. I helped.

So, I mean,

if you suspend him, you have to suspend me.

Me, too.

Navid, you, too?

They're my pigs, sir, and I can prove it.

They respond to their names when called.

Really?

Hey. Hey.

Look what I found in my daughter's pocket.

San Francisco, Annie?

ANNIE: I was just so bummed about Jason,

and Ty was fun and nice,

and I knew you would say no.

Wait a minute. I said yes to a date on a school night,

which I thought was pretty cool of me.

I'm sorry if I have to draw the line

at my 15-year-old daughter jetting off

to San Francisco with a guy

she barely knows.

That's what kids here do.

They have planes and they go places

and they don't tell their parents

'cause it's no big deal.

It takes an hour to get to San Francisco by jet,

and that's like being in traffic on Sunset.

We have rules, Annie!

What if you're somewhere and we don't know where,

and you get hurt?

I will work with you, but I have to be able to trust you,

and right now I don't know

when I'm gonna be able to do that again.

Are you gonna tell Dad?

Of course, I'm gonna tell Dad.

(sighs)

George?

Of all the guys,

why him... in front of everyone?

Well, I guess I just did to you what you did to me.

What I did to you was terrible.

I feel horrible.

But, I mean, I hurt you, you hurt me.

Is that how it works with us?

I wouldn't do that to a friend,

and we're supposed to be more than friends.

But we are more than that.

We're more than friends, Ethan.

And we've fought before. We always work it out.

You know, you asked me why I did it.

I said I didn't know.

I think I do now.

Know what?

I wanted out.

Are you breaking up with me?

I'm breaking up with us.

(knocking)

Hey. Thanks to your buddies, you're back on the team.

You and Ethan are gonna have to sit out

the Palisades game,

and Navid's gonna have to pick up trash.

Really?

Yeah. And I want to apologize to you.

Wasn't fair of me to ask you to give up your buddies.

I was on a team once.

I know how it works.

You know, I'm sorry I disobeyed you, you know?

I'm still trying to find my way around here, you know?

I'm trying to figure out when to be your principal

and when to be your dad.

(chuckles)

You know, I think I like my dad more than my principal.

You might not when you hear his punishment.

♪ ♪

Hi.

Hi. Hi. Uh, is...?

Uh, sorry, I was looking for Kelly.

Yeah, you're in the right place.

She's just putting Sammy to bed.

I-I'm her friend Brenda. I just got into town.

We've been catching up.

I bet that you're Ryan.

Why, I am.

(chuckles)

Ryan. Hey. I know;

weird that I'm here.

I, uh, I'm not a stalker.

I just, I felt bad about my comment.

The comment.

So, um, I wanted to bring you these.

Thank you.

Yeah. Oh, and I also work part-time

for the Blackhawks recruiting fans,

so I brought you that, too, for your son.

Yeah, I figured. (chuckles)

Yeah, okay. So, you have company and you're busy.

I'm just gonna...

Actually, if you guys want to grab

some food or a drink,

I can stay here and watch Sammy.

I mean, if he's already asleep,

he won't even know that you're gone.

I would love that, but, but it's up to you.

You just got here.

Don't worry. I'll be here for a while.

Okay, yeah.

Um, are you sure?

Yeah.

I'll get my stuff.

Well?

He nailed me: no texting,

coming straight home after school from practice.

And play rehearsal and no dates for two weeks

or parties or coffee money.

But you got to go San Francisco.

I know. (squeals)

This ain't Kansas no mo'. (laughs)

You sorry we moved here?

Yet to be determined.

A lot of temptation here.

I'm just concerned about how it's gonna affect the kids.

You say the word, I will move us back to Kansas.

Would you really do that?

Yes,

I would.

Look, it was tough moving here,

but if you're unhappy, if the kids are miserable,

I will pack us up, Mom in tow, and head back to Kansas.

I think we can give it some time,

but it's nice to know we have another option.

We do.

And this thing with Tracy,

I wish I knew what to do, but I don't.

And am I curious to know the kid's okay?

Absolutely, but being an adoptive father,

would I want Dixon's birth parents around us? No way.

Well, look, Dixon is a teenager. This is a man.

Before you do anything about that, I think you really need

to figure out how you want to handle things with Tracy.

I don't, I don't know. And I am the first to admit

that I was not the greatest guy back then.

Honestly, I'm more concerned about the guy that you are now.

So just take your time

and figure out how you want to handle this.

I will.

And you will be the first to know.

If my parents see you, they're gonna freak out.

Well, better hurry up then.

Hurry what?

♪ ♪