Original subtitles

Hey, switch places with me.

Why?

Because I want to sit next to Ruthie.

Don't you want to sit next to Matt?

She's just expressing

what everyone else is feeling.

And that would be?

She's angry that you're abandoning us.

I'm not abandoning anyone. I'm going to college.

Just the same, in 90 days,

you're leaving your family just like that.

18 years for nothing.

Look, everyone's going to leave sooner or later.

Mom and Dad aren't leaving.

They're not supposed to.

And besides, I'm leaving for a very good reason.

It doesn't matter, because in the end, you'll be gone.

You want my help training Happy or not?

You know, all I need to do to win that contest

is have one really good trick...

but it has to be something special.

Something special, huh?

I think I've got just the thing you need.

Great!

And I'll help you if you work on Ruthie.

I'll try.

But training a dog is lot easier

than training a kid.

Oh, thanks.

Where's, uh, Wilson and Mary?

They're coming.

They're just finishing up

some pre-church tonsil hockey.

So, when are you going to tell Mom and Dad

about your summer job?

Will you keep it down?

I'll tell them when the time is right.

Quit being such a chicken

and hurry up and tell them already.

Good morning, and welcome...

everyone.

Nice to... have you with us.

Look, it's Lucy's old boyfriends.

Sit anywhere you like, guys.

Oh, here we go again.

♪ 7th Heaven ♪

♪ When I see their happy faces ♪

♪ Smiling back at me ♪

♪ 7th Heaven ♪

♪ I know there's no greater feeling ♪

♪ Than the love of family ♪

♪ Where can you go ♪

♪ When the world don't treat you right? ♪

♪ The answer is home ♪

♪ That's the one place that you'll find ♪

♪ 7th Heaven ♪

♪ Mmm, 7th Heaven ♪

♪ 7th Heaven. ♪

♪ ♪

You want to give Billy something to eat now

and then put him down for his nap?

Eh, I don't know if he's hungry yet.

Besides, maybe he should just eat

with the rest of the family.

I don't think he can last that long.

He's doing the thing with the bunny

that he only does when he's tired.

Is he squishing it or putting it in his mouth?

I think he's hungry.

Mm, he's squishing. It's nap time.

But if I put him down for a nap now,

he might not sleep,

because he's going to get hungry.

Where is Billy?

In the living room.

With?

Lucy.

You two are relying

on Lucy a lot lately.

She wants to help.

She feels included, and it gives her something to do.

Maybe she would like to do something else,

like have a boyfriend of her own.

Hey, maybe something'll happen with Jimmy or Rod.

Mm. Thanks.

Oh, it's nap time.

Mm, are you sure?

He looks hungry.

Well, it's time for something.

Is Dad home yet?

No, but the second he does get home,

I'll let you know.

I can't believe Rod and Jimmy

are stalking me now.

Uh, maybe Rod and Jimmy just want to talk

to your father, like they said.

Don't be so naive, Mom.

Trust me, I know those two a little bit better than that.

They're plotting something.

I just wish

I knew what.

Well, I'm very... flattered

that you two have chosen me

to be your class project,

but I have to ask you, why me?

You only work an hour a week.

So we figured we wouldn't have to put in a lot of time...

because it's not like you have a real job.

Well, you know what I mean.

Oh, I know what you mean,

and I hate to disappoint you, but, see, my job...

is... it's really more like a 24-hour-a-day,

seven-days-a-week, always-on-call kind of job.

Whoa, who knew?

So, you know, given my rather busy schedule

and the personal nature of my work,

maybe you should follow one of your own fathers around

for your work-study project.

Can't. No nepotism allowed.

Well, although, believe me,

my dad could screw this up just as much as you could.

Well, thank you.

That's quite an incentive to help you out.

Then you'll do it? Great!

You know, since this is a 24-hour-a-day job,

I think we're going to have to camp out at the Camdens'.

Are you prepared to do that?

Anything it takes to ace that class, man,

I am there. Huh?

Have pajamas,

will travel.

No, no, no, you-you, uh...

you can't camp out at the house.

No, sorry, you can't.

Uh, the-the-the inn is full.

Well, what if we set up a tent in the backyard?

You know, what if I just...

call you when something

comes up?

Okay, we'll accept your terms.

Good.

And... here are our pager numbers.

Yeah, uh, page us. Okay.

Day or night.

Would you kindly give our regards to Lucy.

Sure.

You know, just a sec, just a sec.

Uh, maybe you'd like to get started by, uh...

just doing a little research

into the book that my work is... based on.

I-I don't suppose you have some Cliff's Notes

to go with these babies?

See you. See you later.

Hey, Ruthie, why don't you come over here and help us out?

Okay, the key to the trick

is to teach Happy to play dead

on the command "dead dog".

Once you do that, you can say anything

before "dead dog," and Happy will fall over.

What do you mean, say anything?

Example: "Would you rather be

a cat or a dead dog?"

Or "Would you rather have Ruthie mad at you,

or be a dead dog"?

Tell him that's not very funny.

If Happy can learn the trick,

you can take her in front of those dog food company officials

and ask, "Would you rather have your Pow Chow taken away,

or be a dead dog?"

You are brilliant.

Thank you.

Happy is going to be

the spokesdog for Pow Chow dog food.

It's a cinch!

Dead dog.

Let me give you some advice

at dealing with Ruthie when she's like this.

After all, who knows her better than her ex-roommate?

Okay, I'm listening.

Silent treatment gets

silent treatment.

She'll crack...

but you have to ignore her completely.

Happy, rise.

Rise.

Hey, what's for lunch? I'm starving.

Oh, oh, no, I'm not going to feed you anything

until you tell me what Lucy's old boyfriends are up to.

Oh, Jimmy and Rod... They're studying me

for a school project.

Oh. It's for Career Day.

Social Sciences.

Really?

Yeah, really.

Is that funny?

No.

No? No? Then why'd you laugh?

No reason.

I-I-I was just surprised.

That's all.

Aren't we being a little sensitive?

Yes, I am. I'm sorry. I'm... I'm tired.

Why am I so tired?

Because we're raising five kids,

and with Billy, it's more like six,

and then there's Wilson, and that makes seven.

Yeah. Yeah.

You know, I love Billy, but...

The whole family loves Billy,

but I think we're all a little Billy-ed out.

And Mary and Wilson

are like a married couple with a kid.

I just don't like the way that feels.

What are we going to do about it?

I have a plan.

I love your plans.

Well, my dad is going to give Matt some money for graduation,

and just to even things out, he wants to send

a little something for the other kids.

And I was thinking that since Matt is using

his money to pay for his way to summer orientation,

that we should put Grandpa's money

towards something educational for the kids...

like camp.

Camp is educational?

Oh, work with me, work with me.

Yes, camp can be educational,

if we choose wisely and quickly.

I think I can get Mary, Lucy, Simon and Ruthie

out of the house the same week that Matt is at his orientation.

That will be our reward

for getting him through 12 years of school.

This is a good plan.

This is a very good plan.

What was that?

Is there something going on with Matt?

What makes you think anything is going on?

Aha. A question answered with a question.

Spill it.

It's not my information to spill.

And it would be nice, if instead of grilling me,

you told me what Jimmy and Rod are up to.

They've teamed up to write a career day project on me.

Why you?

Why not?

No, you know that your father's work

is very important.

I mean, it affects

the quality of life for hundreds of people.

I also think they find your father's work interesting,

at least in part, because he's your father

and neither of them is over you.

You're mocking me.

Luce, you don't really want either of them

as a boyfriend now, do you?

No, I just want them to want me.

But when both of them wanted you,

you turned both of them down.

Don't confuse me with the details.

I'm just saying it's nice to be wanted.

When it's the right guy.

Maybe you should get your mind off finding a boyfriend

and just be friends with Jimmy and Rod.

You told them you wanted to be friends

when you broke up with them, didn't you?

Oh, yeah, and that worked out swell, didn't it?

The two of them paired up like Martin and Lewis

and used me to get to Dad.

You know who Martin and Lewis are?

Explorers.

Those are the two guys who went down that river...

or up that river.

The Mississippi or Missouri

or Mason-Dixon.

Whatever. Why are you quizzing me?

You do go to school during the day, don't you?

Lewis and Clark? Thank you.

It won't work.

Hey, kid, no falling down stairs

when you're at other people's houses.

Stay out of this.

Stay out of what?

Have you two lost your minds?!

We weren't doing anything.

We just put Billy down for a nap,

and I guess we fell asleep.

I don't ever want to see you in bed

with my sister again,

even under the guise of taking a nap.

Haven't you learned anything from your mistake?

You have no right to talk

to my boyfriend like that.

"Boyfriend"? You're acting more like he's your husband.

I'd better go.

You don't have to.

I think I do.

You want to talk to me again?

Yes, we do.

I told you, Wilson and I weren't doing anything.

You should be talking to Matt.

We did talk to him,

and we know you weren't doing anything.

Well, then, if you believe me, what's the problem?

Well, you and Wilson have been spending

a lot of time together.

And?

And it must be difficult

trying to be a mother to a two-year-old

when it's not really your responsibility.

Are you enjoying the role?

Sometimes, and... sometimes not. Why?

Okay, let's talk about something else.

Fine. Your grandfather

is giving us a little money to share with you kids,

and so we were wondering...

If you'd still be interested

in going to that basketball camp you wanted to go to.

Are you kidding? I would be totally interested.

That would be great!

I was looking at the application,

and if you really want to go,

we need to mail the form in right away.

Yes, yes, mail it.

I want to go, I really do.

And we also have to submit a doctor's statement,

so you're gonna need a physical in the next day or two.

That is fine.

Anything you want, I'll do it.

Oh, wow, I thought you guys were going to punish me.

I can't wait to call and tell Wilson the good news.

We'd prefer you just do your homework tonight.

Yeah, you can talk to Wilson tomorrow.

But I only have a couple days

of school left, and I don't have any homework.

The idea here is to spend one evening away from Wilson.

It'll be good for you.

You mean it'll be good for you.

Yes, it'll be good for us

to see that our daughter still has some independence,

and her own life with her own priorities.

Fine.

Good.

Yeah.

Look, I know I may have overreacted.

"May have"?

Well, somebody in this family has to do something.

Mary and Wilson are acting like they're married,

and she's not even 16 yet.

Come on, what's this really about?

Okay, I'm getting a little nervous

about leaving you two.

Have you even told Mom and Dad that you're leaving

a few months earlier than expected?

No. I just don't know how to break the news to them.

Can't we talk about this?

You slapped me.

Don't even say it.

I'm not talking to him.

I know. I just can't stand

to see the two of you fighting like this.

You know, he's only upset

because he's worried about what's going to happen to us

when he goes away.

That's because he doesn't think either of us

has enough sense to take care of ourselves.

No, he just doesn't want to see anything bad happen to us.

You know, I'm not talking about this.

Call Wilson. Why?

Because I can't, and I want to tell him

I'm going to basketball camp.

Oh, yeah? And how are you doing that?

I thought Mom and Dad said they didn't have the money.

Well, now they do.

Grandpa gave them some. Dial.

Well, what am I getting?

Dial, please.

Hello?

Hi, Wilson, it's Lucy.

I'm calling for Mary.

She's not supposed to call you.

We're supposed to take a break from each other.

You're supposed to take a break from each other.

How's Mary doing?

She's okay; she's still really mad at Matt.

Yeah. Yeah, I've got to talk to him.

I feel terrible about what happened this afternoon.

It was irresponsible for Mary and me to be together like that.

Wilson says he's got to talk to Matt.

He feels bad about how you guys were together

like you were today.

He says it was irresponsible.

No, it wasn't.

Mary says, "No, it wasn't."

Yeah. Tell her we'll talk about this tomorrow.

He says you'll talk about this tomorrow.

Tell him I'm going to basketball camp

the week after school is out.

Mary's going to basketball camp the week after school is out.

Oh, that's great.

Tell her I'll miss her, but it's still great.

He says that's great.

Well, hey, you know, if you're lonely,

you can always come over and hang out with me.

I won't be doing anything.

You might be doing something.

What do you mean?

I think I found a guy for you.

No way. "No way," what?

You have been so great helping out with Billy lately

that I wanted to do something for you.

So, I came home, and I tried to think of a guy

I could set you up with, and I remembered

that there's this new kid across the street

who seems nice, and I think he's your age.

So, I'm going to go over there and ask him

if he'd like to meet a nice, good-looking girl.

Your timing couldn't be better.

With Jimmy and Rod hanging around, this is perfect.

What's perfect?

So, what's his name?

How old is he? Where is he from?

Don't hold anything back.

I wouldn't hold anything back from you.

And remember, I'm new

at the whole matchmaking thing.

Okay, would you rather have your Pow Chow

taken away from you, or be a dead dog?

Yes! Happy! Yes! All right!

Good girl!

Good girl!

Yes, I'm so proud of you!

Did Happy do the trick?

Yeah, yeah, she did the trick. Watch.

Sit.

Good.

Would you rather have your Pow Chow taken away from you,

or be a dead dog?

Um, it's, it's okay.

She did it once; she can do it again.

Would you rather have your Pow Chow taken away from you,

or be a dead dog?

Keep trying.

It's working; keep it up.

Would you rather have your Pow Chow taken away from you,

or be a dead dog?

That's great.

The questions you told me to ask

really helped...

Lucy's on the phone with Wilson.

Why would Lucy be on the phone with Wilson?

Because her sister's not allowed to.

Mary got us on a technicality.

Brains and beauty.

Good for us.

Oh, yeah.

You know, I like that we're nonjudgmental enough

to let Mary date a teenage father...

A very responsible teenage father.

Yes, very responsible,

but I hope that in trying not to judge Wilson by his past,

we're not creating a situation

where he and Mary are too comfortable.

Didn't Matt take care

of their comfort level this afternoon?

Yeah.

Hey! I got to use the phone!

Yeah, this is Reverend Camden.

Did you beep me?

Hey, it's us.

And w-who, exactly, is "us"?

It's Rod and Jimmy, your M.I.T.s.

"M.I.T.s"?

Your ministers in training.

Uh, what's going on?

Well, actually that's what we'd like to know.

We've been trying to call you for, like, an hour.

We were hoping that it was some sort of church emergency.

No, one of the kids was using the phone.

Oh, no emergency... one of the kids was on the phone.

Actually, Lucy was talking to some guy.

Okay, well, we're a little disappointed,

but we'll stay in touch.

You do that.

Lucy was talking to some guy... Nice touch.

Yeah.

We'll get right down to business.

Yeah, business.

We hear you have a boyfriend.

And where'd you hear that?

Your dad. And he cannot tell a lie.

We were trying to get through to him,

strictly for the project, you see,

and we couldn't.

When we beeped him, he said you were

on the phone with some guy.

So what?

So... congratulations.

Yeah, what's he like?

Why do you want to know?

We both want to know.

We're all friends aren't we?

No, the two of you are friends,

but neither one of you has spoken to me in months.

I apologize for that oversight.

Yeah, sorry.

Hey, we need a ride to Casa Camden after school,

if you wouldn't mind mentioning that to Matt for us.

No, I can't mention that to Matt,

and there's no more room in the car anyway.

And if you can kindly keep your school project

confined to the church.

I don't want the two of you hanging out around the house.

Oh, right, the new boyfriend.

Oh, yeah, that may be a problem.

Then why don't you get

some other old girlfriend's dad to help you out?

Saucy lady.

We've got to check out this boyfriend.

Hey, Matt, how 'bout a lift

to your homestead this afternoon?

No.

Maybe we should just call up the Rev,

get him to pick us up.

Yeah, yeah we'll beep him later.

It'll give him something to do.

Are you sure?

I can't believe this.

You want to make the call

or should I give your parents the news?

No, no, I'll tell them.

Have you told them about the job yet?

No.

Get on it, Matt.

This is something you can't hide.

By tomorrow night, it'll be in the local paper.

Ugh, the counselor's office.

I wonder what that was about.

If I had to bet, I'd say our big brother's in trouble again.

Hey, Mom.

Hey. Hi, girls.

Yes, food!

You know you have a doctor's appointment in a half an hour.

Yeah.

I guess we all can't be lucky enough

to go away to basketball camp.

You want to go away to camp?

I don't play basketball.

No...

but there are other camps.

"Camp Catchurpride"?

Mm-mm, no way.

What do you mean? Why not?

Because it's a bunch of ugly girls

with backpacks and no self-esteem.

Well, I think it would be good for you.

Oh...

you know that's not what I meant.

I meant that it sounds like it could be fun and challenging.

You can't be serious.

Yes, I'm serious.

Look, just give it some thought.

So what's Lucy giving some thought to?

Camp.

You see, your father and I are thinking about

letting all you kids go off to camp this summer.

What camp?

What do you say

about Space Camp?

Well, I'd only say

it's the best camp in the whole world.

Yes.

If I had any interest at all

in space.

Dead dog.

Everyone gets to go to camp?

Uh, well, we thought that since Matt

has to go off and look at his new school

that we'd let the rest of you kids

go off that week and do something

that you'd really like to do.

Good idea.

Me and you could use a little break around here.

Actually your grandpa was saying

that he'd love to have you come and visit

for couple of days in Phoenix.

Yeah, but then you and Daddy would be home all alone.

That's right.

You'll never pull it off.

Hey, Mom, when's Dad coming home?

Oh, he's out with Jimmy and Rod.

They should be back, oh, around 6:00.

Nice chatting.

Hey, Ruthie,

come here a sec.

What?

Just stand there a second.

Okay, Happy, dead dog.

This is crazy.

She does the trick every time if nobody's in the room but me.

Obviously, she has stage fright.

And how do you know that?

Because I get it every year

when we have to do that Christmas pageant at church.

I can play the shepherd's boy

like nobody's business in my room,

but once I get out in front of the whole church

my stomach gets dinosaurs in it.

Butterflies.

This is no good.

Happy has to do this trick in front of a whole bunch of people

from the Pow Chow dog food company tomorrow.

Bye, bye Pow Chow.

I just feel so pressured right now, I'm crazy.

Yeah, yeah, I know...

Mary wants you to get off the phone,

she's got to call Wilson before she goes to the doctor.

Just hang on a sec.

You know it's not easy being her big brother.

Well, I know it didn't look good, and more than that,

I was irresponsible for not watching after my son.

I'm exhausted from finals and dating and being a dad,

and I guess I just literally fell asleep on the job.

I can understand that.

I didn't mean to overreact, it's just

the image of you and Mary together in bed.

I mean, I know you're not having sex,

but still, it just threw me for a loop.

Matt's talking to Wilson.

Why are you talking to Matt?

Well, he called to apologize.

Apology unaccepted.

If you and I are going to be in a relationship

together, and I'm not speaking to my brother,

then you're not speaking to him either.

Well then, why don't you just speak to him

so we all can just speak to each other?

Because Matt doesn't deserve to be spoken to.

You slapped me.

He asked for it.

But who cares, he's not even going to be

living here anymore, anyway.

And would you rather be on speaking terms

with someone who's living 2,000 miles away or with me?

Mary, doctor's appointment!

With you, but...

Mary, let's go!

You're not going along with her on that, are you?

I guess for the time being I have to.

Hello? Wilson?

Luce?

Hey, did you talk to that guy yet?

Yeah, I did, but you know what?

Can I tell you about that after I talk to Mary?

Oh, Mary's left... she had to go

to a doctor's appointment

for basketball camp.

Oh, okay, I'll catch her later.

But I did talk to that guy.

Um, his name is Kenny and he is interested.

When can I meet him?

How does tomorrow sound?

I'll bring him by after school.

If that's as soon as you can get him over here, great.

Great. I'll see you then.

Thanks, Wilson. Bye-bye.

Look guys, I know it's been

kind of a depressing afternoon,

with the soup kitchen, and the hospital

and now this, but it's all part of

a routine day in the life of a minister.

No problem.

That soup kitchen had better gravy

on the potatoes than my mom makes.

Yeah, and those rolls were nothing to sneeze at either.

You ate?

What, we weren't supposed to?

No, that's okay, it's okay,

I just try to leave

whatever food is there for the hungry.

Anyway I-I... I can never eat and then go to the hospital.

Well, how come?

It's kind of depressing, and the smells...

You know, while you were in visiting

that woman, we saw this guy come in with a coat hanger in his eye.

Oh, big time gross.

Yeah, way better than a movie.

When Closets Attack! All right.

Hello, Reverend.

Are you here to take me for a spin?

Ready when you are, Mrs. Arnold.

Thanks.

Okay, guys, I'm going to take Mrs. Arnold

out for a little fresh air.

Feel free to make yourselves useful.

Mary, you do have to talk to Matt.

I can't. I'm too mad at him.

You know what I think?

I think you're mad at him about yesterday,

but more than that, I think you're mad at him for leaving.

Yeah, well we're all going to miss him

a lot sooner than you think.

What do you mean by that?

Mom, Matt's leaving for the summer.

He got a job, but he's not adult enough

to tell you or Dad about it,

yet he thinks he's adult enough

to start acting like my father.

Wait, I don't think I'm hearing this right.

Matt's leaving for the summer?

Yup, next week.

That looks like fun.

Oh!

Sorry I missed dinner.

I got caught up with Jimmy and Rod.

I was trying to impress upon them

the everyday difficulties of my job.

How'd you do?

They enjoyed every minute of it.

I'm exhausted.

Hey, Mom, Dad, I want to show you something Happy can do.

Not now, Simon.

Whoops, sorry.

Oh, I'm sorry, Simon.

Just give us a minute, okay?

I promise we'll watch Happy's trick.

Okay.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm just a little tired.

The doctor roped me into taking a physical

while I was there, so I'm feeling a little icky.

And there is something else.

Who told?

Who told us what?

I know it was Mary.

What did Mary tell? What's going on?

The good news is I'm valedictorian.

Ah!

Congratulations.

Thanks.

Uh, the bad news is is that I need to leave

before I have a chance to make my speech.

Leave? Leave for where?

I got a job in Washington, D.C.

A summer work program, a government gig.

I don't have my assignment yet,

I probably won't know until I get there.

So no graduation?

You'd be leaving in just a couple of days?

Anybody home?

I'm up here.

Hi.

Oh, is that to keep Billy from falling down the stairs,

or Wilson from coming up?

Both.

I was hoping never to see one of those things again.

Me, too.

I remember the first one I put up for Matt.

Remember, we couldn't get it unlatched,

so we had to keep jumping over it

to get in and out of the kitchen.

Yeah, and it's hard to believe Matt could be jumping on a plane

to Washington, D.C., in a couple of days.

Did you come by just to depress me?

No, I came by to pick up Happy, and then I'm off

with her and Simon to the Pow Chow contest.

Oh.

Well, she was here just a second ago.

Hap, come here!

Feel like going for a ride, Happy?

Here she is.

Are Jimmy and Rod tagging along?

Absolutely. I picked them up at 6:00 this morning

for hospital visits, and then dragged them

to a budget meeting

before dropping them off at school.

Couldn't you have done that this afternoon?

They're out early... Teacher's conference.

No, this afternoon I'm going to try to show them

how I also have to balance my work

with family obligations.

You might not

want to bring them home

because Wilson's bringing over this Kenny guy for Lucy.

I know. I'm going to call first.

If Kenny's any good,

I'm supposed to come by with Rod and Jimmy

so she can show off her new boyfriend,

and if Kenny's a dud, I dispose of them.

You actually agreed to that?

Oh, yeah. As Lucy pointed out, Matt would do it,

and Matt's going to be gone so this

is a perfect opportunity for me to start filling in

on some of the things a big brother would do for her.

You see,

I owe her, because Matt's leaving,

at least in part, because he can't take living

under our rules any more.

And in return, she'll consider going to camp.

Hmm!

Come on, Hap.

Hey, knock 'em dead.

I should have gone in to get Ruthie.

Mary's go no motivation to get back to the car.

Relax, will you?

You don't want this guy to think you're anxious.

No, but I want him to think I'm clean.

I want to take a shower, change my clothes,

maybe put some makeup on,

or think of something interesting

to say in a conversation.

I'm telling you,

you're putting too much pressure on yourself.

Wait and see if you want to go

to any trouble after you meet him.

You might not even like him.

Why wouldn't I like him?

It's a blind date.

Blind dates hardly ever work out.

Why would Wilson fix me up

with some guy who's not gonna work out?

It-It's just hard for someone

to pick out the same person you'd pick out for yourself.

Oh. So basically, what you're saying is,

you don't think that Wilson thinks

as much of me as I think of myself,

so he's going to bring over some guy

who's not that great

because he doesn't think that I'm that great?

Knock it off. You know that's not what I said.

Yes it is, and you know what?

You only have a couple of days left here,

and you're ruining it for everyone.

Who's going to drive us to school next year?

Mom and Dad.

Who's going to drive us to get ice cream

when we're supposed to just go home?

Dad.

Who's going to drive us to go get breakfast burritos

when we're already late for church?

Mom.

And, hey, don't worry about it,

okay? 'Cause I'm gonna get my license soon,

and then I can drive you anywhere you want to go.

When Matt let you drive,

didn't you run over that guy's mailbox?

Let's go.

Get back in the front.

I'm not sitting next to him.

What, is he being mean to you, too?

I'm not being mean to anyone.

Good dog.

You nervous?

It doesn't matter if I'm nervous.

She's nervous.

Happy will calm down if you calm down, promise.

How am I supposed to do that?

Well, every year at Christmas when Ruthie's in the pageant

at church? Yeah?

Your mom and I know how nervous she gets, and,

so what we do is, we try to just take a deep breath,

and then exhale

very slowly every time we feel any anxiety at all,

and pretty soon, uh,

without even thinking about it,

we're relaxed, and Ruthie's relaxed.

No, she's not.

She has dinosaurs in her stomach.

Simon Camden

and Happy?

You can do it, girl.

Good luck, son.

These other mutts suck, man.

Yeah. Take a look at the owners.

Simon?

Come on, Happy.

Hey, Simon, please stand on the spot marked X

and don't allow Happy to step outside the circle, okay?

Okay, here we go.

Okay, Happy.

Would you rather have your Pow Chow taken away

or be a dead dog?

Oh!

How cute!

Oh, that was clever.

Oh...

Very good.

That was super.

Time's up. They're here.

And?

And I have no idea what you're gonna think of him,

but he looks okay to me.

Just okay?

I'm not doing this. Let's go.

Oh.

Turn on the TV!

Turn on the TV!

Turn it on!

TV! TV! TV!

Hey! I thought you were supposed to call first.

I forgot, come on, come on, come on.

What's going on?

Hey, uh, nice to meet you.

Yeah, welcome to the family.

Mom,

you're not going to believe this.

We're going to be on the news.

Hey, everyone, um, this is Kenny.

Kenny, this is everyone. Hi.

Hi, Kenny. Hi, Kenny.

In particular,

this is Lucy.

Kenny, Lucy. Hi.

Lucy, Kenny. Hi.

On the local front, we've got the winner

of the Pow Chow dog food contest,

and with more on Pow Chow dog food,

now let's go out to Steve.

Hey, turn it up, Simon!

And today, the local winner

of the Pow Chow dog food contest is none other than

this happy dog named Happy,

trained by her master, Simon Camden.

Okay Happy,

would you rather have your Pow Chow taken away

or be dead dog?

Yeah!

All right!

I owe you big time, bro.

I owe you!

Very clever. Really.

What is it, sweetie pie?

That blonde creep stole my dog!

Great trick.

I've got to see that one again, folks.

Okay, Happy would you rather have your Pow Chow taken away

or be a dead dog?

See! That's Whitey!

Are you sure, honey?

Whitey's been gone almost two years.

Yes, I'm sure!

That's her, and I want her back!

Well, then we'll get her back for you, sweetie pie.

We'll get her back.

Quite an accomplishment.

Yes! Yes!

Yes, yes.

Hey, I think this calls for a celebration.

Ice cream, anyone?

Yeah.

Come on, I'll help you.

Oh, that's okay, guys. Uh...

Um, I-I'd better take Happy for a walk.

Do you want to come?

Well, I'm certainly not welcome here. Why not?

So, this is pretty exciting day, huh?

Yeah, it's not every day that the family dog's on TV.

No, no, I meant it's pretty exciting

meeting someone you're instantly attracted to.

For me at least.

It's very nice to meet you.

Thank you.

Got anyone for me?

I-I thought they already met.

You don't think the Reverend would lie, do you?

For his daughter?

The man's a minister, not a saint.

You're such a great mom.

I mean, now, who else would just

drop what they're doing and throw a party?

Oh, I look at it his way.

I'm not going to get them out of the house

without feeding them,

and I don't want them all

sticking around for hours waiting for dinner.

Hello?

Yes, I'll hold.

It's Dr. Peterson's office.

They want me to hold for him.

Hi, Dr. Peterson.

Yeah, I-I'm fine, or at least I-I was until now.

Is everything okay?

No, I-I don't... I don't want to come down.

You-You can tell me on the phone.

Thank you for letting us know.

Mary's...

Mary's... pregnant.