Original subtitles

Oh, hi, boys.

It's nice to see you again, Kyle.

Even if you weren't expecting me?

Uh, even then.

There's snacks in the fridge.

Help yourselves.

Is something wrong?

Nothing.

Okay.

It's just that... we-we had a rough day at school, yeah,

and, uh, we just want to hang out

and talk... but not

with you.

With each other.

Okay. Talk away.

Think she knows?

I hope not. Did I look at her funny?

No. Did I?

No. This is terrible.

Why did they have to show that film

in health class today? Why?

Today, our lives have changed forever.

Yeah, forever.

I wish I never would've seen it.

I mean, some things should be left

to the imagination... or National Geographic.

I mean, it's like going backstage

with the magician.

You just shouldn't see how certain things are done.

I mean, who cares

how monkeys court other monkeys?

What good is that going to do us

unless we, like, date a girl with fleas in her hair?

It was like watching restricted cable

with a grownup watching you

to see if you were thinking anything bad. For me, it was like

the Nature Channel with attitude.

Are you going to tell your mom and dad about it?

No way.

My parents have cornered me

for one talk after another after another.

I can't take another talk.

I've never talked to my parents about sex.

Never?

You are so lucky.

When Ruthie came along,

I thought they'd never stop talking.

Hi. How was school?

Everybody's talking about the Senior Prom.

It's prom fever.

Yeah, and we're hoping Matt doesn't have date.

Oh, isn't that sweet.

Well, if he doesn't have a date, he'll have to take one of us.

Ah, but who gets to go?

Ah, we've agreed to flip a coin.

You know, as pretty and sweet as both of you are,

I just can't picture Matt taking

either one of his sisters to the prom.

The way we figure it, he hardly speaks to us at school,

so with the right hair and makeup, no one

will ever know he's related to either of us.

Uh, you sure you have enough there?

We could always come back for more.

Man, it's hard to look at girls

the same way after today.

They aren't girls; they're my sisters.

Yeah, but they sure are foxes.

Please, no animal references.

I don't mind being called a fox.

Oh, why are we

in such a good mood?

We heard that Snappy the Stegosaurus...

Only the coolest dinosaur in the whole world...

Is doing a live show

tomorrow in Glenoak.

I think we should go and have a Snappy good time.

Oh, I'll try to arrange it,

but don't get your hopes up too high, okay?

You can do it, Mom. I know you can.

Uh...

Mary and Lucy tell me

that you're still looking for a prom date.

No, I'm not.

Are you going?

Nope. The prom is pretty much a couple thing.

I'm not a couple.

Excuse me, Reverend, uh, do you have a minute?

Oh, of course, John. Please, come in.

What can I do for you?

Well, I hope you don't think this is too personal,

but my daughter Connie needs a date to the prom.

I see...

or maybe I don't.

How can I help?

Oh, I'm sorry. I got a little ahead of myself.

Connie doesn't have a boyfriend.

Lots of boys that are friends,

but no boyfriend.

And I don't know how to help her with this stuff.

You know, she lost her mother when she was eight,

and-and-and I'm afraid I haven't been

the greatest substitute mom.

I guess I'm still a little confused.

What is it that you want me to do?

Well, I've got the perfect guy in mind

to take Connie to the prom, but I need your help.

I was wondering if your son Matt could possibly take Connie.

Well, I guess, you know, I could ask.

Oh, this is great.

Thanks.

Well, I... I don't know if it's great,

because all I can do is ask,

and you know how teenagers are.

They never want to do what you want them to do.

And Matt may already have a date for the prom.

Yes, in fact, I think he may have

mentioned a date, uh, maybe.

No, no, he doesn't have a date.

The whole school's talking about it.

According to Connie,

"Matt Camden is the only other senior

without a date for the prom."

Well, you sure are plugged

into the high school gossip mill, aren't you?

Thanks again.

♪ 7th Heaven ♪

♪ When I see their happy faces ♪

♪ Smiling back at me ♪

♪ 7th Heaven ♪

♪ I know there's no greater feeling ♪

♪ Than the love of family ♪

♪ Where can you go ♪

♪ When the world don't treat you right? ♪

♪ The answer is home ♪

♪ That's the one place that you'll find ♪

♪ 7th Heaven ♪

♪ Mmm, 7th Heaven ♪

♪ 7th Heaven. ♪

Hi, your call is important to Snappy.

Please don't hang up.

Your call is important to Snappy.

Please don't hang up.

Your call is important to Snappy.

Please don't hang up.

Your call is important to Snappy.

Please don't hang up.

Your call is important to Snappy.

Please don't hang up.

Your call is important to Snappy.

Please don't hang up.

Your call is important to Snappy.

Please don't hang up.

Your call is important to Snappy.

Please don't hang up.

Your call is important to Snappy.

Please don't hang up.

Your call is important to Snappy.

Please don't hang up.

I can't take it anymore!

Hello, may I help you? Hello? Yes, I'm here, I'm here.

Uh, I need two tickets to the Snappy show.

I'm sorry. Snappy's show is sold out.

You mean I've been on hold all this time for nothing?

Yes, you have.

Well, wait a minute, don't you have two seats

in the back row or standing room or something, anything?

No, I don't.

Okay. Thank you anyway.

No, thank you, and have a Snappy good day.

Uh, Ruthie, Mommy's got

some bad news.

The Snappy Show... It's been sold out

for three weeks, so I couldn't get tickets.

But I did make

lasagna for dinner... Your favorite.

No thanks. Now I'm too depressed to eat.

Do you know what "depressed" means?

Yeah, it means no tickets to Snappy.

Bad day?

Well, it wasn't entirely bad,

just the, uh, afternoon part.

What happened in the afternoon?

John Gannon came by

and... he asked me

to ask Matt to take his daughter Connie to the prom.

What do you think?

Should we put Matt in that position?

It doesn't seem right or fair

to tell him who to date,

no matter how noble the reason.

Well, we're not telling him; we're asking him.

No, well, we're not asking him.

You're asking him.

Fine, I'll ask him.

And, hey, you know, maybe it'll turn out

that Matt likes her and he wouldn't mind

going out with her.

Who wouldn't I mind going out with?

Well, uh...

Connie Gannon needs a date to the prom,

and her father thought that you might take her

since you're dateless, too.

I don't think that's such a great idea.

Why? I have my reasons.

Not pretty enough? Not popular enough?

You know, I can't believe you think

I'm that shallow and superficial.

You know what?

You want me to take Connie to the prom? I'll do it.

Well, great.

But when you find out the real reason why I didn't want

to take her, I don't want to hear one word about it.

Fine.

Well, that went pretty well, don't you think?

Oh, yeah. As long as you're on a roll,

maybe you'd like to talk to Simon.

About?

He saw the film today.

Oh, the old "when a boy monkey meets a girl monkey"?

He told you?

No. I could tell by the look on his face.

Trust me, a mother knows.

And a father talks.

Okay, Simon, give.

What are you acting

so weird about? I'm not acting weird.

Come on, you and your little buddy

were acting squirrelly the whole ride home in the car.

You might as well tell me,

because sooner or later, I am going to find out.

Well, it's-it's just that... um, I-I...

I kind of, um...

Right. It's spring in junior high school.

You saw the film.

Congratulations.

Today, you're a man.

Thanks, but I'd be better off if I were

a monkey.

Hello?

Yeah, this is Mary.

It's a guy.

Mm-hmm.

It's a friend of Matt's.

Uh-huh.

He's got a younger brother and wants to know

if we want to double

tomorrow night.

Are you asking us to the prom?

Well, why aren't you going to the prom?

It's a couple thing.

Um, we'll have to ask

our parents' permission first... and it might

be a good idea not to mention this date to our brother.

He might not like it.

So, let me have your number, and we'll call you back.

Okay, bye.

So, do we know these guys?

But who cares? It's a date!

Whoo! Yes!

What are you doing?

Oh, the local radio station's giving away tickets

to Snappy's show, and I'm hoping I'll get lucky.

You really think you have a chance?

Well, Ruthie's so upset, I have to try something.

Snappy... this is the puppet

she's so upset about... Snappy?

Yeah, yeah, I told you it was Snappy.

All I heard was puppet.

I know Snappy.

Yeah, we all know Snappy, honey.

Millions of people know Snappy. That's why I can't get tickets.

No, no, no. Snappy's creator is Debbie Miller.

See, that's-that's her picture there.

I went out with her in high school.

Boy, she looks great.

Not too great.

Did you break her heart?

I don't really remember quite what happened.

No, now that I think of it,

she broke mine. Perfect.

Then there's no bad history to get in the way

when you call her and beg her for tickets.

Well, I don't have her number.

Does Debbie have parents?

Yeah.

Did you meet them?

Yeah.

Then call them and ask for her number.

I don't know.

Tell Ruthie your surprise, honey.

I know Snappy.

You know Snappy?

Your Daddy went to high school with Snappy.

Cool school.

Yeah. Of course, Snappy may not remember me.

But if she does,

she'll give you tickets,

I know she will! I know she will!

Well, I'll do the best I can,

but just don't count on me getting tickets, okay?

Okay, I won't count on you...

Mr. Snappy's friend.

Yeah.

I guess Simon's not in the mood to talk.

Yeah, something bad happened at school yesterday.

And if you do

get the tickets,

I'll never forget you, never.

So did you ask Connie out yet?

Not yet.

You know, just out of curiosity are you gonna tell me the reason

that you didn't want to go out with her?

No. But don't worry, you'll figure it out.

Good morning, Mom, Dad.

Okay, what's up?

Our kids are weird.

Way weird.

Call Snappy.

Hey.

Hey, yourself.

How'd you do on Brenner's pop quiz?

Oh, let's just put it this way,

I'm helping the curve.

The low end of the curve.

Well...

So did you hear the one about the guy

who asked the girl to the prom at the last minute?

Oh, no. My dad put you up to this, didn't he?

He suggested it to my dad, who suggested it to me.

But look, let's not let our busybody fathers

spoil a potentially fun date.

So, do you want to go?

My dad doesn't get it, you know.

It's not just about having a date to the dance,

it's about having the right dress

and the right shoes and all the stuff that goes with it.

I have nothing to wear and my dad doesn't

have the money to buy me that stuff.

People make too much out of going to these proms anyway.

Just come over to my house.

I've got a sister and a mom

and I'm sure they can put something together.

Something cool. They're great at that stuff.

That's very sweet of you to volunteer them, but, you know,

I don't want to look like I just threw something on

when you'll be wearing a tux.

I wouldn't want to embarrass you.

I wouldn't be embarrassed if you went how you're

dressed right now. You look great.

Really, trust me,

my mom's a genius with this stuff.

Just come over after school

and I'm sure she'll figure it out from there.

If you want

I'll wear the dress and you can wear the tux.

Okay. Let's go.

Great. It's a date.

Bye. Bye.

You think he was?

Asking her to the prom? Yeah.

Do you think Mom and Dad know about this?

No way they know.

If they did, they would never let him go out with her.

So let's hope they don't.

If Matt goes to the prom tonight,

he won't be home to ruin our dates.

Yeah, with whoever they may be.

I can't find anyone who knows anyone

in the senior class named Kyle or Casey.

Hi, Kyle.

Why are you so happy?

My brother and I have dates tonight.

Dates? Really?

With who?

I wish I could tell you, but I'm sworn to secrecy.

Besides, you'll find out soon enough.

Guess what these are.

I can't believe it. You've got them?

Yeah, I called, I called Debbie Miller's dad

and he remembered me,

and so he gave me her phone number,

and I called her and she remembered me,

and voila, two tickets.

Two? Um, so I guess I won't be tagging along

to meet your old girlfriend, huh?

Oh, I didn't know you wanted to.

No, it's okay.

I was just kind of curious, you know.

Oh, Ruthie is going to be so thrilled.

We need to get going

or we're going to be late for the show.

Oh, well, wait, wait.

I washed this just in case.

You know, pink is Snappy's favorite color.

I know.

Mom, you got to help me.

If I can. What's the problem?

Uh, Connie doesn't have anything to wear tonight,

but I told her that you're a whiz at sewing

and that you could help her.

A favor wrapped in a compliment, eh?

Wait a minute, she doesn't have a dress for the dance tonight?

Or any of the other stuff to go with it.

Well, uh, hmm.

I'll figure something out.

I have no idea what,

but something will come to me.

Great, I'll pick up a tux and I'll bring her right over.

Okay. Okay.

Hey, kid, look what I got.

We're going to see Snappy!

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

You're the best daddy in the whole world!

I'll be back in a mono second.

It's nano second.

But she's right,

you are the best daddy in the world.

Thank you.

What makes me think you two want something?

Oh, well, we were thinking of maybe watching some videos

with a couple of guys from school.

You know, just hang out at the house.

And then maybe grab a hamburger a little later.

No big deal.

Like a double date?

You two are going on a double date?

That's great.

Just be sure and ask your mother.

Simon...

I understand they showed an interesting film

in health class yesterday.

It wasn't all that interesting.

See ya.

Yeah, but still, you know,

I'd like to sit down and talk to you about it

tonight when I get back from this Snappy thing.

Really, Dad, there's no need to talk again.

We've already talked about a hundred times before.

Well, get ready for 101, because I think

there's some new information we should go over together.

Oh, joy.

Hmm?

I said, great.

I'm looking forward to it.

Hey, you and Ruthie had better get a move on.

Let's go, let's go, let's go!

Hey, you two have a great time

and don't linger on afterwards,

because you know you want to be back home in time

to see Matt and Connie off to the prom.

We'll hurry back, but we're invited backstage.

You think that's a good idea?

Oh, don't be jealous.

Yeah, you know I love you guys almost as much as Snappy.

Let's go!

Hey, can we help?

Uh, sure.

You want to help before or after

you ask me for a favor?

It's not that big a favor.

We just want a couple of guys from school

to come over, hang out,

watch movies,

maybe grab a burger later.

Who are these guys? Do I know them?

Probably not, because we just met them.

But that's the reason that we didn't ask

to go out with them on a real date.

Yeah, we want to check them out

in the security of our own home first,

with you and Dad in the next room if we need you.

Something about this just doesn't seem right.

That's because I'm involved.

Mom, you know Connie Gannon from church.

Hi, Connie. Hi.

You know Mary and Lucy.

Hi. Hi.

I'm so glad you accepted

Matt's invitation to the prom.

I hope you'll still feel that way in a few hours,

because I have absolutely nothing to wear.

I mean, except the stuff

that goes under the dress.

Uh, that's my cue to exit.

May the Force be with you.

Yeah, thanks.

Okay, let's get to work,

we don't have much time.

Go, go.

♪ I was sitting and waiting ♪

♪ Just contemplating my life ♪

♪ When I heard the phone ♪

♪ I picked up the receiver and I did not believe her ♪

♪ When I heard a voice say you're not alone ♪

♪ When I am down and I am blue ♪

♪ All I have to do is close my eyes ♪

♪ And think of you ♪

♪ And the world is new ♪

♪ Oh, life is getting hectic and things are unexpected ♪

♪ When I first received your call ♪

♪ But now it is the best thing to fill up what was missing ♪

♪ And now my life is envied by all ♪

♪ When I am down, when I am blue ♪

♪ All I have to do is close my eyes ♪

♪ And think of you ♪

♪ I was sitting and waiting ♪

♪ Just contemplating my life ♪

♪ When I heard the phone ♪

♪ I picked up the receiver and I did not believe her ♪

♪ When I heard a voice say you're not alone ♪

♪ When I am down and I am blue ♪

Give us another five minutes.

♪ ...is close my eyes and think of you ♪

♪ Yeah, and the world is new. ♪

I'm starving. Where is everybody?

Oh, they're helping my date get dressed.

Okay, get ready.

Connie'll be right down and she looks beautiful.

Yeah, she's beautiful,

but does she have anything to eat?

Why didn't you tell me Snappy's not real!

What's next? Santa Claus?

The Easter Bunny?

How many years have you been lying to me?

Am I really six?

You went backstage. Well...

And on top of everything else, that stupid Snappy lady

made me spill grape juice all over myself!

I hate her!

This dress is ruined!

There is no Snappy!

Going backstage might have been a mistake.

But don't worry.

Debbie's dropping by later,

and she's going to try to explain

everything to Ruthie.

She tried to do it backstage,

but Ruthie ran off

and I had to run after her, and... What?

Your old girlfriend is coming over tonight?

Well, I... figured we were having dinner anyway,

and what's... one more, right?

Wow.

I mean, wow, you look beautiful.

Thank you.

I owe it all to your mom

and your sisters.

They're great.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

You're welcome, honey.

You don't need to keep thanking us.

You really do look quite stunning.

Thank you.

Oh, I want to take a few pictures. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Do the thing. All right, oh, that's nice.

Hold it.

Well, we'd better get going.

We don't want to miss our dinner reservation.

Good night, everyone.

Good night. Good night.

Have a good time.

I mean, I just don't understand

Matt's hesitation in the first place.

Why wouldn't any guy jump at the chance

to go out with a girl like that? Yeah.

What?

Hey, it's not

like I'm a kid.

I know things.

I saw the movie.

How can I explain it

in words that you'll understand?

I think there's a biblical word for it.

You just sent Matt off to the prom with...

The high school harlot.

You know what else?!

I don't believe in God either.

You know, I think maybe tomorrow night

will be a better night to talk.

Yeah, I'm definitely off the hook here.

Stop worrying.

I spent the entire afternoon with Connie.

If she's really what Lucy says she is,

then they ought to give her an Oscar,

because all I saw was a shy, nervous, scared girl.

She's not a... she's just... she's just Connie.

I shouldn't have gotten out of bed this morning.

I turned Ruthie into an atheist.

I forced Matt to go out with... Connie.

Lucy and Mary are both dating 11-year-olds, and...

I still have to talk to Simon and about that movie.

Well, maybe

you could get Snappy to talk to Ruthie about God

and Simon about sex.

We can kill two birds with one dinosaur.

I forgot Debbie, or Snappy,

or whatever she's calling herself

these days was even here.

Although I do remember why we broke up.

It's that baby talk.

"Ewic, so gwad to see ou."

Shh.

Hey, wait a minute.

I thought Snappy broke up with you.

Well, only because she started talking

and she never stopped.

And she's still talking and talking

and talking.

Well, "gwab" the pizza; "wet's" go.

Okay.

Okay.

So, what have we learned from all this, Ruthie?

Question authority.

Ruthie, look... pizza!

A Snappy good time!

Dig in, Snappy.

Oh, thank you, "Ewic."

I think we should say a "bwessing" first.

To who?

Bless us, oh, Lord,

for these gifts which we are about to receive, Amen.

Amen.

Hey, maybe after dinner,

Kyle here can show everyone his one chest hair.

I don't like to brag,

but all the men in my family mature quickly.

Well, okay.

Pizza.

Casey?

Okay.

Hey, hey, hold on, we haven't even danced yet.

I just wanted you to know how much I appreciated dinner.

That's the nicest restaurant I've ever been to.

Um, a simple thank-you is fine.

So, do you want to talk?

Yes, let's talk, because as soon as we go in,

everyone is going to be talking about us.

I don't care; let them talk.

Everyone is going to think

you're with me for one reason, and one reason only.

That doesn't mean we have to do anything.

But we could.

Yes, we could,

but we don't even know each other yet.

So, let's get to know each other.

Fine.

So, what's it like

growing up in a house with only one parent

and no brothers or sisters?

It's lonely.

My dad and I hardly even talk to each other.

Your dad seems like a nice guy.

That's not the problem, you know?

He's so nice, I could never talk to him about...

you know, boys and stuff.

I've got the opposite problem.

All my mom and dad want to do

is talk to me all the time...

Especially about women and stuff.

You know, the truth is,

once you don't talk about personal things

for years and years,

it's hard to just suddenly talk about them.

I mean, my dad has never even mentioned the "S" word

in front of me.

He so overprotective that he's always shielded me

from any mention of sex.

You know, ironic, isn't it?

I mean, you would think

that if someone were so overprotective,

that I wouldn't have had the opportunity

to get such a bad reputation.

The truth is that... you know,

his constant watch over me

has just made me want to do crazy things...

Sneak out of the house,

go out with older guys, stay out all night...

Basically, whatever I could get away with.

And he's always so stern

and threatening, and always telling me

that guys just want one thing.

Well, I've always wanted guys to like me,

so why not give them the one thing they want?

Have you gotten a return on that investment?

What?

Have you found a guy

who really likes you for that?

No offense, but there's a flaw in your philosophy.

Look, all guys

want to be the pursuer.

It's the old hunt-and-gather instinct

against a woman's old nurturing instinct.

In relationships,

there's always a giver and taker.

So, why don't you want me to take you?

Because I haven't given you anything yet.

You've given me this dress and a very nice corsage,

and then there was always that lovely dinner.

That's nothing.

Make me dig deep, make me sacrifice.

Make me do something difficult.

Like what?

I hate to dance.

No, no, seriously, I hate to dance.

Make me dance.

Okay. Let's go to the prom.

What?

Sit.

Make me be a gentleman, too.

Just so I get this straight,

you're not completely ruling out...

Dancing? No, not ruling it out at all.

Stop thinking about Matt and Connie.

They've got hours to go before they get home,

and there's no need to drive ourselves crazy with what-ifs.

So, you're not worried at all?

Of course I am.

I'm just not looking at my watch.

I'll do that; it's okay.

And what will I be doing?

You'll be going upstairs

to help Ruthie entertain Snappy.

I can't, I can't.

Besides, if I go up there,

she'll just be singing or dancing

or telling a story.

And, as Snappy says, "It's impowite to intewupt Snappy."

Please help us.

Please take our dates home, please!

That Kyle keeps calling me "foxy lady."

Or maybe it's Casey...

I don't know,

but they are both really creeping me out.

Please, one of you help.

Those boys are at that sensitive age

where rejection may permanently damage them.

Go. Be nice.

And never try tricking us into letting

you and your sister double date

with two guys you don't even know again.

Wasn't that fun?

Yeah, that was about as much fun as I'm allowed to have.

I better get dressed and go to bed now.

Thanks for coming. Bye.

Would you like Snappy to tell you a bedtime story?

No, thanks.

I'm way too tired for that,

and I still have to brush my teeth.

Do you know the brush-your-teeth song?

It goes something like this.

Snappy,

Debbie, whatever... Please, I'm okay here.

You can go.

Oh, it's just that I know

how much children love Snappy

and rely on Snappy for guidance.

There's so much to learn

when you're a little girl in a big world.

That's why Snappy does shows

like the one you saw this afternoon.

And why Snappy puts out videos and tapes and books.

Yeah, but doesn't Debbie make a lot of money

from that Snappy stuff?

Maybe it is time to go.

As long as you're not mad at Snappy anymore.

Oh, I'm not mad at anyone anymore.

Okay, then... good night...

and sweet dreams.

But I still don't believe in God.

You know, we saw a really scary movie the other day.

Titanic.

You know, it's PG-13.

"Ewic," it was wonderful to see you again.

Well, thanks again for making a house call.

Oh...

and it was so nice

to meet Ewic's wittle wife.

I'm sorry about traumatizing Ruthie this afternoon.

When children's dreams are shattered,

the whole world weeps.

Some would even say that's how the oceans were formed.

Some... but not scientists, huh?

If Ruthie ever needs to call me, here's my card.

Oh...

I'd be more than happy to help in any way I can

now that Ruthie and I are vewy special fwiends.

Yes, you are.

Um, good-bye and, uh, thank you.

Good-good night.

Ah. Go and see if Snappy did

any permanent damage.

Okay, so, who wants ice cream?

I do, I do!

Ice cream sounds lovely.

Might I also have some coffee?

I don't think so.

Simon, would you come into the kitchen

and help me please?

We'll help.

Please, let me help.

Uh, no, you two need to stay

and entertain your... dates.

You're even prettier than I pictured.

Hmm, that's funny,

'cause you're younger than I pictured.

You know, it's not very nice of you

to trick girls into going out with you.

What trick?

I called, I asked, you said you'd go.

Yeah, but you said you were a friend of Matt's.

No, I didn't.

I said I was a friend of your brother's...

You know, Simon.

I don't know why you don't like to dance.

You're very good.

I cannot dance.

Well, I'm glad you talked me into going inside.

I had a great time.

Yeah, I had fun, too.

It's a little early to go home.

Yeah, it is.

I hope you don't want to talk about that God thing.

I'm exhausted.

Okay.

So, did you have any fun with Snappy?

No.

I didn't mean

to ruin the whole illusion for you.

I thought you knew that it was a person in a dinosaur suit.

Well, I know now, and it's not just any person.

It's your old girlfriend with that baby voice.

Do you know that they've actually recently proved

that when people talk

to little children in baby talk like that

that babies actually respond, and they learn well like that?

Did the babies tell them that?

I don't really remember, actually.

Anyway...

you don't believe in God, huh?

Kind of gets me right in the heart,

'cause God is... so real to me.

But you can't see God.

Well, the wind is real, but you can't see the wind.

You know, you can only see the leaves

rustling in the trees.

Pain is real, but you can't see pain.

You can only see tears.

Happiness is real, but you can't see happiness.

You can only see the smile on someone's face.

Will something bad happen to me if I don't believe in God?

Will something good happen to me if I do?

I need to know.

Oh, so you want to weigh the punishment

against the reward and then see which way to go?

Yeah, kind of like that.

If believing in God means I get a bunch of good stuff,

then I believe in Him.

Or if something bad's

going to happen, then I believe in Him,

but if nothing's going to happen,

then I really don't know.

You're a tough one.

Okay.

I believe in God...

and bad things and good things have happened to me

and will continue to happen to me,

but because I believe

in God, I find I can get through the bad things.

And if I didn't get through the bad things,

then I'd never be able to enjoy the good things.

But then that brings us to bad and good.

See, today, it looked like a bad thing,

taking you backstage to meet Snappy,

but then it led us...

to having this conversation, which is a good thing, I think.

Where is everybody?

Well, Kyle and Casey's mom

picked them up, so Simon, Lucy and Mary

rushed upstairs to bed.

I didn't hear 'em come up.

Well, of course not. None of them wants

to talk to either one of us.

How could it only be 10:30?

Do you want to wait up for Matt?

What do you think?

Two scoops?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

All right, then, we'll see you there.

Good night.

Uh, no, um... I think that's enough.

Okay.

That's it? End of discussion?

I'm man enough to hear the word "no".

Well, it's... I mean, it's still early.

Maybe we could just take a break and then reconsider.

I have a better idea.

I should let my dad fix me up more often.

Stop. It's your third bowl.

I can't help it.

Put it back.

Gaining ten pounds won't bring Matt home any faster.

I thought you liked me with a little meat on my bones.

I lied.

Well, look who's still awake.

Hi.

Hi.

Um... the next time the two of you decide

to double date, I think you should...

know who you're going out with.

Making dates with strangers...

It's not a good idea.

Yeah. Does that mean

I'm actually allowed to date?

I think your mother and I are going to require

some proof of good judgment,

and then we'll get back to you.

Uh, Simon...

We need to talk.

Good night. Good night.

Good night.

So...

what prompted your two little friends

to ask your sisters out?

It wasn't me.

It must've been that film.

That film is making everyone crazy.

I wish they had never shown it. It ruined everything.

How's that? Well, whatever happened

to romance and feelings and falling in love?

All they showed was a bunch of animals

and a singing zoo keeper.

If I want to know how monkeys mate,

I could talk to Matt...

or Mom... or even you.

So, I'm third?

My point is I-I didn't need

to see that stuff.

I mean, we've been talking about sex around here forever.

Yeah, but unfortunately,

all some kids are told

about men and women is, uh... is what they learn in school.

Lucky for me, I have an older brother.

Matt knows everything.

Where do you suppose he learned it?

I don't know, Dad.

Good night.

Dad.

Dad, I'm home.

Oh, Connie.

For a minute, I thought it was your mother there.

You look beautiful,

honey.

Oh. Hi.

You look pretty good yourself.

Thanks. Sorry we didn't come by before the dance,

but we were running late

for our dinner reservation.

Did you two have a good time?

Yes, sir, I did.

I'll make you a cup of tea, and I'll tell you all about it.

Really?

Yeah, really.

Thanks. I had a really nice time.

Me, too. Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Thanks.

Matt?

Oh...

Uh, did you have a nice time?

Yes, I did.

Connie's a really nice girl.

Thanks.

For?

Everything.

I'll get it out of him tomorrow.

Hey, look.

It's tomorrow.

Let's go.