Original subtitles

Mom. Hey, Mom, watch this, watch.

No. Watch this, Mom.

Simon... ♪ Ta-da! ♪

No!

Well, you got to admit, I was...

closer this time.

Don't worry, once my magic kit comes

with the instructions,

I'll be able to pull an entire tablecloth

off of any table...

Or not.

I'm flexible.

I got it.

Oh, gosh, I hope that's your father.

I thought he'd be home by now.

It's not like him to stay out this late without calling.

It's for you. Again.

I'll take that in the kitchen.

Lucy certainly has had

a lot of phone calls tonight.

What? I don't know anything, I swear.

Hey, how's your after-school rehab

with the Coach coming along?

Oh, it's great.

Coach Koper is awesome.

He says if I stay focused on my goals,

I could be back on the team in no time.

You know, he was going to be a coach for the WNBA,

but he wanted to teach.

And you bought that?

Hey, Mom,

you know it's possible that Dad is being held by aliens

who have him confused with God

because he was in the church,

and they think he has special powers,

so they want to bring him back on their spaceship

so they can study him.

Yeah. Or he could be picking up ice cream.

Hey, guys. I'm sorry I'm so late.

Hi, ooh, what's going on?

Okay, are you ready?

Thank you. Get this.

The local TV station is going to be coming around

to various churches in the community

to televise the services.

And whichever church draws the biggest audience

is going to be considered for a regular weekly telecast.

Televised. Every Sunday.

And guess what?

Our church is first on the list.

I'm going to be on TV.

Sunday!

Me.

That's great, Dad.

Yeah, cool.

Dad, I thought

you were with aliens.

Daddy, did you buy

any ice cream?

Uh, no.

What'd I miss, what'd I miss?

Evidently, nothing.

♪ 7th Heaven ♪

♪ When I see their happy faces ♪

♪ Smiling back at me ♪

♪ 7th Heaven ♪

♪ I know there's no greater feeling ♪

♪ Than the love of family ♪

♪ Where can you go ♪

♪ When the world don't treat you right? ♪

♪ The answer is home ♪

♪ That's the one place that you'll find ♪

♪ 7th Heaven ♪

♪ Mmm, 7th Heaven ♪

♪ 7th Heaven. ♪

Eric? Eric, can you get that?

Hello. Don't, it's Mrs. Hinkle.

Hi, Mrs. Hinkle, how are you?

She wants me to pick up her prescription, but I can't.

I got to write my sermon.

Oh, your denture cream, uh-huh.

Well, I'm sure Eric would have called you back,

but, oh, he's so busy

trying to get ready for Sunday's big broadcast.

That's right, yeah, we're all

pretty excited.

Well, um...

why don't I take care of it for you?

It's, uh, it's no problem.

No, Mrs. Hinkle.

Yeah, I'll see you in a bit, okay? Bye-bye.

You sure you don't mind?

No. I didn't mind taking the choir robes

to the dry cleaners this morning, and, uh,

I didn't mind calling the choirmaster for you,

requesting the changes you wanted in the Sunday service,

and I didn't mind driving

the church secretary to the airport.

Um, I did have a little trouble

with that cage with her two dogs...

Getting it, you know, in and out of the minivan, but...

I'm really sorry about that, but I do appreciate it.

It's just that I really need to stay focused

on writing this sermon.

Yeah, how's that going?

Good, good.

Nothing, huh?

No.

I mean, it's getting there.

I'm formulating some ideas.

It's Friday. It sure is.

That's why I really need to get back to work.

You know, I don't want you to think

that I mind helping out,

but didn't you used

to get your best sermon ideas

when you were out doing your usual routine?

Yeah, that would be okay

if this were just one of my usual Sunday sermons,

but it's going to be on television.

I need something more; I need something special.

Whatever you want.

You know, I know how important this could be for the church.

Oh, one more thing.

The, uh, the gardener is sick.

Do you think you could put your green thumb to work

on the shrubs around the front of the church?

'Cause it's going to be the opening shot,

and I really want to make a good first impression.

Yeah, I'll see what I can do.

Great, you're the best.

Oh, and while you're there, do you think

you could maybe look at the plants inside the church?

And come to think of it, maybe...

Order some extra flowers for Sunday?

Yeah.

Sure, I can do it all.

Uh, but you know, I've got a roast that I've prepared

that's sitting in the refrigerator

that needs to go in the oven this afternoon at 3:00.

Could you handle that?

Of course. Gladly, yeah.

Yeah, turn the oven to 350.

Right. Three...

Fifty.

50... right.

And I'll write it all down.

Don't worry, I'll be home before it's done.

It's not a problem; consider it done.

Okay.

Remember, folks, this is your midterm grade.

If you don't like what you see, consider this a wake-up call.

You still have time to pull it up

before the end of the term.

You'll need to get these back to me by Monday

with your parent's signature.

Hey, Luce,

welcome to the bottom of the heap.

Man, I didn't even study, and I got a "D."

It's about time you hit a slump, Camden.

You were throwing off the curve for the rest of us.

Anything I could do to help.

I'll give you a call later.

Yeah, me, too.

I can't use the phone anymore.

Hey, don't sweat it.

Just sign it yourself.

They never check.

You know, I'll sign it if you want.

What's your parents' last name?

Camden. Same as mine.

Wow, how unusual.

Here, give it to me.

I'll do it.

Oh, that's okay. Thanks anyways.

You sure?

Okay, then.

I guess we'll see you tomorrow.

Yeah. Cool.

All right.

Later.

What's up

with the slackers?

"Slackers"?

Yeah, that Todd guy used to be in my class.

Why are you hanging out with those guys?

I think they're nice.

They just don't do that well in school, that's all.

Besides, Todd's okay.

He goes to our church.

I never said he wasn't nice.

He just did better in school

before he hooked up with a bunch of losers.

If you were having trouble,

why didn't you just ask me for help?

I don't know.

I didn't know I was having trouble.

Or this much trouble.

Any idea who you're going to get to sign that for you?

What, is that an offer?

No.

Fine. So, I got one bad grade.

What's the big deal?

Better hope Mom and Dad agree with you.

Hey, Coach.

Hey, Mary, how's the knee?

Great.

I've been concentrating on squats and lunges,

and I did 100 last night.

That's what I

like to hear. How's it feel?

A lot stronger.

I'm ready for anything else

you can throw at me. Okay, great.

I'll see you in about, uh, say, 20 minutes?

I'll be there.

Hey, Camden, you coming to practice today?

Yeah, we could use all the help we can get.

We're getting killed

under the boards.

Yeah, I know, but I'm still in rehab.

How's it going?

Great. Coach Koper thinks

I could be back at practice

in a week or two, maybe.

You'd better, 'cause we're sunk without you.

Thanks, you guys. It's great to be missed.

Hey, I heard we got a new girl

trying out today... Um, a transfer.

Diane something.

Really? Is she a player?

I've never heard of her.

She can't be all that special.

Well, maybe I'll stop by and check her out

before I hit the weight room.

Okay, cool.

So, I'll catch you guys at the gym?

Yeah. See you.

Matt, pick me up at 5:00.

Be out front.

I don't want to have to come in and get you.

You just don't want to run into Koper.

Give the lady a prize.

Oh, yes.

Oh, sorry, girl, sorry.

No, I'm just about to get back to work.

I mean it this time.

Happy, wait, don't go.

Stay. Stay.

Okay.

We're home, Mom.

Mom?

Your lucky day, Houdini.

Yes! My magic set!

Hello? Hang on a sec.

It's for you.

If I were you,

I wouldn't get caught on the phone all night.

The sooner you get studying,

the sooner Mom and Dad might forget about that "D."

Look, don't go parental on me.

I can handle it.

Hi.

Wow, you know,

not many people could make that look work, Mom, but you...

Yeah, I had a little fight

with the garden hose down at the church.

The hose won.

Hi, honey, how's it go...?

Uh, I'll get it. No, I'll get it.

I'll get it. No, I'll put it in.

I'll put it in now.

It's not too late.

350, right? 350. I'll put it...

Now, before I show you anything,

you'll have to swear to me, as my loyal assistant,

that you'll take my secrets of illusion and prestidigitation

to the grave.

I'm okay with everything except the assistant part.

Why?

All the world's best magicians have assistants.

I don't want to hurt your feelings,

but you're not one of the world's best magicians.

You can't even do a trick yet.

Did you know that the assistant gets to wear a costume?

Like your bathing suit

with that feather boa around your neck.

Not bad, huh?

What do you get to wear?

What all the great magicians wear, of course.

Black pants, black shirt and a black cape.

Oh, right. And I'm in a bathing suit?

I want to wear the cape.

No. Only the magician gets to wear the cape.

Besides, I thought you liked wearing your bathing suit.

I do. It's very comfortable.

But I don't want to stand around

in it looking dumb,

waiting for you to saw me in half.

Well, you can't be the magician.

Well, if I can't be the magician,

I don't want to be anything.

I bet you'd be my assistant, huh, girl?

Hey, Cheryl, have you seen Coach Koper?

I was supposed to meet him at the weight room,

and he didn't show.

He's over there.

There we go, Diane. Nice.

Nice.

There it is.

Very nice.

Yes, all right; thank you very much.

It looks like we found ourselves a shooting guard.

Thank you, Diane.

Mary, I'm sorry, I forgot all about you.

Listen, why don't you go work

on some of the exercises

I gave you on your own?

But remember, take it slow.

I've just got to get Diane settled in.

You want to meet her?

Um, no, thanks. Maybe later.

See you.

Do it again.

See?

The Great Simoni has taken

an everyday, ordinary pencil,

and turned it from rubber back into wood.

Yep.

It's wood all right.

Anybody can do that.

Oh, yeah?

Hey, what's that thing in your ear?

What?

It looks like you got some cents in that head after all.

I believe that's my penny.

Pull me out

a quarter or, like, a dollar.

Nah. I could. I don't feel like it.

Tell me how

you did it.

Only his assistant can know

the Great Simoni's secrets.

Well, that's not going to happen,

so I guess I'll just go ask the Great Daddy.

He'll tell me. Ha!

Good luck.

Okay, girl.

I promise I'm just going to pull a penny

out of your ear, just like Ruthie.

♪ It's the latest ♪

♪ It's the greatest ♪

♪ Mashed Potato ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ A Mashed Potato start a long time ago ♪ ♪ Wah-ooh ♪

♪ With a guy named Sloppy Joe ♪

♪ Wah-ooh ♪ ♪ You'll find this dance is so cool to do ♪

♪ Wah-ooh ♪ ♪ Come on, baby, gonna teach it to you ♪

♪ Mashed Potato ♪

♪ Hear the groovy beat now ♪

♪ Mashed Potato ♪ ♪ Come on and twist your feet now, baby ♪

♪ It's the latest ♪ ♪ Come on, honey ♪

♪ It's the greatest ♪ ♪ Come on, baby ♪

♪ Mashed Potato ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ And then they dance it through and through ♪

♪ Wah-ooh ♪ ♪ They look for records they can do it to ♪

♪ Wah-ooh ♪ ♪ They found this dance was out of sight ♪

♪ Wah-ooh ♪ ♪ Doing the lion sleeps tonight ♪

♪ Mashed Potato ♪ ♪ Ya, a-weem-o-wak, a-weem-o-waka... ♪

Hey, Ruthie.

That was pretty good.

Thank you.

I just wanted to ask you something.

Is it really important? 'Cause I'm trying to write.

I thought you were trying to dance.

Oh, that? No.

I'm just trying to work through a little writer's block.

Where's the block?

It's, uh... in my head.

My head has money in it,

but I can't get it out.

Look, Ruthie, how 'bout we talk about this later?

'Cause I really have to get ready

for this big sermon on Sunday.

I'm going to be on TV, you know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.

I'm starving. I could eat a horse.

Oh, well, maybe these will help.

And I will have dinner ready

real soon, okay?

Do you know that Dad can dance, and he has a block in his head?

Oh, yes, dear.

A lot of men have them, but his'll go away soon.

Do you know how to pull money out of someone's ear?

Uh, no, I don't, but maybe Simon does.

What?!

Nothing. I see Coach Koper's working wonders.

You jerk.

Hey, I was just kidding around.

Well, I'm not in the mood.

Why?

Oh, no reason.

My game sucks, I've lost my touch,

and I'm two steps too slow, but that's nothing.

Come on, I got you on the team once.

I can get you back again.

I don't need your help.

Looks like you do to me.

Hey, what's wrong?

Let me go.

I'll let you go if you tell me.

But I want to be a magician,

not a magician's assistant.

Oh, grab a few plates and set the table.

Oh, and Matt, grab some of that food

and take it into the dining room, please?

I'll set the table.

Thanks.

What was that all about?

None of your business.

Will you two hold it down?

Get off the phone! I got to go.

I never do this to you

when you're on the phone with your friends!

Yeah, well, our friends aren't losers

who live at the bottom of the curve.

Lucy's friends are none

of your business, either.

Oh, fine. Did she tell you she got a "D"

on her American history midterm?

You're failing history?

You're quitting the basketball team?

What?

And don't go telling Mom and Dad.

I'll tell them when I'm ready.

Ditto.

What is it you two aren't telling me?

I'm quitting basketball.

I don't think so.

Oh, so you have a say in this?

That's enough. Lucy?

She got a "D"

on her American history midterm.

Yeah, and she's supposed to have you sign it.

And she's okay with it,

because her new bottom feeder friends did worse.

So? Mary's quitting

the basketball team because she's jealous that Coach Koper

is helping a new girl instead of her.

What new girl?

Ruthie,

go downstairs and finish setting the table.

But I can't hear from down there.

Hey, you guys want the Great Simoni

to pull a penny out of your ear? - No!

Okay, okay, I'm flexible.

Simon, go wash your hands. Dinner's ready.

We'll be down in a minute.

Somebody in trouble?

Go.

We have to talk.

Hello?

Ruthie, is that you?

Yep, it's me.

Is this Grandpa? I mean, the Colonel?

Well, it sure is.

Well, how come you're on the horn?

Where is everybody?

Daddy's in his office dancing the block out of his head.

He's going to be on TV Sunday.

And Mommy's upstairs yelling at Matt, Mary and Lucy.

Why? What's wrong?

Matt and Mary are fighting

because Mary's quitting basketball,

and Lucy got a "D" in American history.

Well, what about the blonde boy, uh, Simon?

He thinks he's the Great Simoni.

The what?

Simon wants to be a magician.

I hate magicians.

Well, how 'bout you, little sweetheart?

What's your status?

I'm starving.

We haven't eaten dinner yet,

and I'm pretty sure

the roast is burning.

Uh, why?

There's smoke coming

out of the oven.

Ruthie, now, you hang up the phone at once

and go get your mother... right now.

That's an order. Yes, sir.

Ruth, pack my bags. I'm shipping out.

Could someone get that?

Could...?

Son.

Now, your mother and I are both fine,

and I know it's not time for my annual visit,

but I'm here on a mission.

Dad, this is not a good time for a mission.

This is really not a good...

Heard you're gonna be on television, son.

Yes, that's right.

T-Tomorrow's services are gonna be televised,

which is part of the reason this is not

a good time for a mission.

Who told on me?

Private Ruthie.

I figured with you locked up in your office

and Annie covering your back, there'd be no one taking point.

And you know what happens when there's no one on point?

The entire platoon goes to hell in a hand basket.

Now, you get back in your office and write something.

I'll take it from here.

Dad, wait!

Look,

I love you, and I respect you,

and I appreciate

that you would just jump on a plane

and come out here to help us out,

but as much as I love and

respect you,

I get really nervous whenever you are in church,

and... tomorrow is a really important day.

Well, I agree.

You just need a little extra pressure, you know.

Get the adrenaline flowing.

I don't think so, Dad. Not this time.

Son, there are fish in the ocean at a depth

that would kill any other living creature, including man.

Now, you take that same fish, put him

in a fishbowl, it dies.

Lack of pressure.

Well,

you're that fish, and I'm a little pressure.

Actually, Dad, you're a lot of pressure.

You're welcome.

Now, left face.

March.

March!

That is not a magician's outfit.

That...

That's a Halloween costume.

Happy thinks it is.

She's going to be my assistant.

For the last time,

you're not going to be the magician.

Says you.

Ah! Oh!

Colonel!

Hiya, Ruthie!

Colonel, what are you doing here?

Well, never mind that.

Hey, what's with the black getup?

Reconnaissance?

I'm gonna be a magician.

Oh. But I need an assistant,

and Ruthie won't do it.

I don't want to be

the assistant.

I want to be a magician, too.

She just wants to be whatever I want to be.

I mean, it's not her dream to become a magician.

But it is yours.

Yes, sir.

Well, how about you?

Is it your dream, too?

No. I just need to do it, that's all.

Need? Gee, I-I don't think so.

Ruthie, help your brother realize his dream.

Now, I don't particularly like

the idea of my grandson becoming a magician.

As a matter of fact, I hate it.

But I'm pretty sure he won't give up

until he gives it a fair shake.

But I don't want to.

All right, all right.

Hey, you want to see me pull a penny out of Ruthie's ear?

Sure.

I never saw a lousier magician in my life.

I saw that penny the whole time.

Now, I want you to take Ruthie upstairs,

and the two of you rehearse that trick

in front of the mirror until it's so slick,

it's absolutely believable.

How many pennies does Simon have to pull out of my ear?

Well, about as many as it takes

to, uh, send the two of you to Annapolis, huh?

And you see

all the toys there in the living room?

Well, I want you to make them disappear before my

very eyes.

Where's Mom when you need her?

Out doing Dad's job.

Look, forget about this new girl.

Let Koper work with her, I'll work with you.

I'm ten times better than Koper anyway,

because I know you better.

I know where your weaknesses are.

Colonel, what are you doing here?

Hey, Mary.

Well, I guess I'm working, huh?

Uh, so,

I hear you're quitting the basketball team.

How did you know about that?

Well, I'm a Marine. There's nothing I don't know.

Well, I hope you didn't

come all the way down here just

because you heard I was quitting.

Yeah, because if you did, it wasn't necessary.

I can handle this.

Well, now look who found his way to a barber.

Hey, Matt.

No, you're doing a fine job with this.

You should quit, Mary.

Really? Yeah, yeah.

I wouldn't give it a second thought.

Huh?

Did I hear something about a new girl?

Yeah, she just transferred,

and everybody thinks she's so great.

Balderdash.

She hasn't earned a place on the team yet.

Anyway, who would want to be on a team that'd drop you,

the star player, who's been working her behind off

to get back to the top?

No, no, no, my granddaughter shouldn't be second

to anyone who hasn't earned it.

Well, I wasn't dropped. I'm quitting.

You're darn right you are.

You'll find a new sport.

In the meantime,

I think your family needs you.

If you'd pick up those towels and

get to work.

Uh, laundry basket's over on the table.

Oh, that laundry's clean, just needs to be ironed.

Ah.

What was that all about?

It's important to know when to be helpful and

how to be helpful.

When you don't know either one, it's important to be harmless.

What?!

Lead,

follow or get out of the way.

I am leading... I'm trying to help my sister,

and this is not what I had in mind.

Once Mary feels free to hate this new girl,

she'll get over it,

and she'll forget about quitting.

Now, how are you with an iron?

What, an iron? I know how to iron. Splendid.

You want to help?

Get an iron and get to work.

That's the kind of help this family could use right now.

I don't believe this.

I'm, I'm not doing any ironing.

Halt.

About face.

Colonel.

What are you doing here? I didn't know you were coming.

Well, I really only tell people things

on a need-to-know basis.

Now, what's this I hear

about your failing American history?

I'm not failing history.

I just got a "D"

on my midterm.

Th-That's not why you came, is it?

Right, I don't need to know.

Why don't you grab a sponge and hit the centers?

I've got some ironing to do,

and from the looks of it,

we'll have time to cover the Revolutionary War

up to Grenada.

That should just about do it.

Now, all we have to do is wait

for your mother to get home.

I had no idea you could do all this domestic stuff, Colonel.

Dad can't.

Ah, that's because he never had the pleasure

of serving his country in the Marine Corps.

Uh-huh.

Now, young lady, would you care

to join me in the living room for some hors d'oeuvres?

I'd love to.

Mom is gonna freak when she comes home

and sees what we did.

All right, now, where were we?

Um, the Vietnam War.

Something about

the United States moving the war into Cambodia.

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right.

Well, that was a very unpopular move

with the public at that time, but

I think President Nixon was a hero to do that.

See, The Vietcong were storing

supplies just across the border in Cambodia.

In fact, so close to the border that our boys could see 'em,

but they couldn't cross that line.

Really? This is great.

I'd never learn this in school.

Lucy, you're, you're... you're a smart girl.

What's the "D" all about?

I don't know.

I just slipped one day, and I got a bad grade.

And the next thing I knew,

I was kind of popular with the laid-back crowd.

And it was easier than worrying

about competing with the smart kids.

And I don't know.

Some guys seem to like me

who never paid any attention to me at all before.

Ah. Yes, I see.

Lucy, I think you have to question

what kind of man would like a woman

who isn't, you know, all that bright.

You know, one of the reasons

my marriage has lasted so long

and been so good is because your grandmother is one

of the smartest people I know.

Smart is challenging.

Smart is...

Well, let's just say

I could never be attracted to a woman who wasn't.

It just wouldn't last, Lucy.

You know, Colonel,

it's been really nice talking to you all day.

I used to think you didn't like me.

Well, as I recall,

this is the first time we've talked

where I've gotten to say anything.

Here we go.

Whoo!

You know, The Colonel was wrong about quitting.

It's a reverse psychology thing.

Well, whatever, but I'm quitting,

and I feel great about it.

How can you feel great about it?

'Cause it's just nice to play for fun again,

without any big goal in mind.

Yeah.

Colonel, I'm so happy to see you!

Annie, Annie, Annie, likewise.

Aw... aw.

Aren't you gonna ask me why I'm here?

I don't know how you found out, but I know why you're here.

You're here to help.

Oh. Ah.

You ironed the sheets?

Oh, well, the rest of the clothes

are in the appropriate closets and drawers.

I just left those out

so I could make up the couch for myself tonight.

No way. Matt can sleep on the couch.

Oh, I can live with that.

Oh. You cooked dinner, too?

Lucy and I did,

over a little American history.

This is so wonderful. Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

That goes for me, too.

I finished my sermon.

I knew you would.

Well, I...

I've been dreading tomorrow, and now I-I...

I can't wait.

And I owe it all to you.

Oh.

And to you, Dad. Thanks.

Uh,

Marines don't kiss, son.

Well, I got to get the exterior.

Yeah, just run a cable.

♪ He's got the whole world in His hands ♪

♪ He's got the whole wide world in His hands ♪

♪ He's got the whole world in His hands ♪

♪ He's got the whole world in His hands ♪

♪ He's got you and me, sister, in His hands ♪

♪ He's got you and me, brother, in His hands ♪

♪ He's got you and me, sister, in His hands ♪

♪ He's got the whole world in His hands ♪

♪ He's got the little bitty baby in His hands ♪

♪ He's got the little bitty baby in His hands ♪

♪ He's got the little bitty baby in His hands ♪

♪ He's got the whole world in His hands ♪

♪ He's got everybody here in His hands ♪

♪ He's got everybody here in His hands ♪

♪ He's got everybody here in His hands ♪

♪ He's got the whole world in His hands ♪

♪ He's got the whole world in His hands ♪

♪ He's got the whole wide world in His hands ♪ Smile.

♪ He's got the whole world in His hands ♪

♪ He's got the whole world in His hands. ♪

I don't believe this... that's her.

The big basketball star... I can't believe

she had the nerve to come to our church.

Good morning.

Good morning.

I want to welcome

the parishioners of Glenoak Community Church

as well as those of you who are joining us at home.

It's a pleasure to have you as our guests

this Sunday.

We also have another very special visitor

with us today,

a man who has flown all the way from New York

to be with us...

My father, Colonel John Camden.

In fact, it was my father who inspired today's sermon.

Dad was a colonel in the Marine Corps,

a decorated hero

who fought in World War II

and Korea, and he is indeed one of the few good men.

It's taken me a lifetime to learn

that when my father speaks,

it's a good idea to listen,

'cause I've found over and over again

that when I've rebelled against his wise counsel,

I just get myself in trouble.

I'm one of the few lucky men...

Watch this, look.

Now you see it... I have a father who cared more

about doing the right thing

than teaching the right thing, Now you don't.

And about getting my approval

or even my affection. Now you see it...

now you don't.

My father is fond of saying,

"Lead, follow or get out of the way..."

Ow!

Oh, my...

Ow!

What's wrong?

It's stuck up her nose... She-she stuck the mint

up her nose!

Stay calm.

She's got a mint up her nose.

The mint's up her nose!

You guys, stay here. Come on, Annie.

Ruthie, Ruthie, blow.

Come on, achoo! Come on.

Dismissed!

Slowest moving bunch I ever saw.

Okay, Mom got her to blow it out of her nose.

We're going to the emergency room

just to make sure she's okay.

That's her... the new girl.

Mary Camden, right? MARY: Yeah.

I'm Diane Butler.

My mom and I were looking for a church to go to,

and Coach Koper suggested this one.

He did? Yeah.

He said your dad's the minister here.

Yeah. He's the guy who just ran out of here.

Welcome.

Thanks.

It's not like this every Sunday.

Really? That's too bad.

This is the most interesting service I've ever been to.

I hope that little girl

is okay. That's my sister, Ruthie.

Well, I'm sure she's fine...

For a kid with a mint up her nose.

I was looking for you after tryouts.

I heard you were working your way back from an injury.

Yeah, I got hit by a car

and tore all the tendons in my right knee.

I did the same thing.

Two years ago, I went skiing for the first time,

and I fell... hard.

You're kidding. Nope.

I mean, it's bad, but don't worry, you'll be back.

I saw you play last year, and I was looking forward

to playing ball with you when I transferred.

Good people bring out the best in you, you know.

Yeah. Well, I-I'm hoping to be back

at practice in a week or two.

Yeah, that's what Coach Koper said.

He's great, isn't he?

He's the best.

Hey, Lucy.

Great service.

Check it out. It's only 11:15.

It's got to be the earliest we've ever gotten out of church.

Yeah. This has never happened before.

Oh, I hope your sister's okay.

Thanks. Actually, I'm more worried about Simon.

I think he's the one who gave her the idea to snort the mint.

Hey, so, I'll call you later?

I can't. I'm in big trouble over that midterm.

I'm not allowed to talk on the phone until I pull my grades up.

I always knew you were a smart kid.

It was nice hanging out while it lasted. Yeah.

Hey, you know, maybe I could come over sometime.

I don't know, Todd.

Well, no, you could help me.

I mean, I wouldn't mind surprising the folks with a "C".

Well, I don't know if I could help you,

but maybe Matt could help us both.

I don't know.

Getting help from Matt might make me feel kind of dumb.

Actually, we'd be helping him by letting him help us.

His ego suffered a huge blow this weekend.

Oh, well, uh, in that case... maybe I could.

Sorry about that.

The-the mint thing.

And I'm also sorry I didn't listen

to your advice about helping people.

I guess my parents were pretty overwhelmed this weekend.

Aw, that's okay.

I can't fix everyone in one visit.

I hate magicians.

Me, too.

Okay.

Should we, uh, go to the hospital?

I've got a better plan.

What do you think Ruthie would rather have

than anything in the world when she gets home?

Ice cream. Holy Cannoli.

There you have it.

Matt, the mission is ice cream.

So, what happens the rest of the day?

Well, I was hoping Matt would want

to shoot some hoops with me when we get home.

Oh, so you're

not quitting the team, hmm?

Don't gloat, sir.

It was burning and burning, and I couldn't breathe,

and then Mom told me to blow,

so I did, and it finally came out,

but it still burned a little.

Honey, I just don't

understand why you put it

up there in the first place.

I was tired of being

the assistant.

I want to do my own magic trick like Simon.

Honey, you can't always do what Simon does.

Sometimes, it's somebody else's turn to be in the spotlight.

Sometimes, it's nice to make another person feel

that they're important and special.

You can't always be the center

of attention.

♪ Na, na, na, na, ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na... ♪

I know it's hard for you to hear this,

but you can't always have what you want.

I don't want to do magic. I need to do it.

And you will have your own magic.

You'll see.

Right now, Mommy needs to take a little break,

so I'm going to wait for you right outside the door, okay?

I think you have something in your ear.

How'd you do that? I'll tell you,

but you have to promise not to tell a soul.

Ruthie's fine.

They'll be out in a minute.

Oh, thank you.

Hey, that's great.

You know, I bet if she wasn't fine,

I'd be in real trouble, huh?

Not that I'm not in real trouble now.

I-I didn't know she was going to do it.

I swear.

It's not like there's a warning label

on that sleight-of-hand manual.

Relax, Simon, I know

you didn't mean for this to happen.

I'm really sorry I ruined

your church services, Dad.

It's okay.

I'm just glad Ruthie wasn't seriously hurt.

I'm forgiven?

Yeah, son, you're off the hook.

How come?

I don't know.

I heard Ruthie scream, and it scared me so badly,

I... lost my mind and my will to discipline you.

Uh, look, in... in case it may have appeared otherwise,

uh... my family's more important to me than my work.

This week, I kind of... forgot

that you all have your own work.

Just growing up

is hard work...

and I-I need to be there for you every day.

Thanks, Dad.

You know, I feel the same way about Ruthie,

so I'm going to help her become a magician.

Or you could just help me give it up.

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

That's okay.

I've decided to give up magic.

Dad made you, huh?

I owe you an apology.

I'm sorry for throwing everything

off on you this week.

You know, I should know by now

that there's a limit to how much I can do.

Next time, I'll make sure I get the kids to help out.

I'm just sorry that your moment of glory

was short-circuited.

I'm not sure being on TV would make me a better minister.

Yeah, we all learned

a little something this week.

I sure did.

What's that?

What?

Hey!

That's what you learned from all this?

No.

I learned sometimes if you really need help

bad enough, life just gives it to you.