Original subtitles

Pow! Bam!

Whack! Whoa.

Do you have any money?

What kind of money

are we talking about... Stocks, bonds,

cash? Cash.

I don't like to keep a lot of cash around.

It's too risky.

Simon.

I got $86.83

and a buffalo nickel

that'll never be touched by human hands.

You lend me 86 now,

and I'll pay you back 90 as soon as I can.

Hmm... interesting.

Turn around and close your eyes.

What are we doing?

Do you have any money?

What kind of money?

Cash.

Oh. Five dollars.

All right. I'll pay you back six dollars later

if you give me your five right now.

Okay.

You owe me six bucks.

Thank you.

Thanks.

That's where you keep your cash?

It's where I used to keep it.

Now I have to find a new place.

Hey, do you have any money?

I have, like, two bucks. Why?

Well, why don't you have any money?

There are these things called malls.

You may have heard about them.

What's going on?

I need some money fast.

For what?

Nothing illegal.

I just have something I have to do, okay?

Okay. It's not like I have any money, anyway.

How can you not have any money?

I spent it.

Thanks.

What's going on with him?

He got a letter from Heather today,

so I'm betting it has something to do with her.

The number for American Pride Airlines, please?

Thank you.

Hi. Could you tell me how much a ticket

to Philadelphia is, uh, leaving tonight?

I-Is that the student/youth fare?

Okay, how far can I get on, uh, $153?

♪ 7th Heaven ♪

♪ When I see their happy faces ♪

♪ Smiling back at me ♪

♪ 7th Heaven ♪

♪ I know there's no greater feeling ♪

♪ Than the love of family ♪

♪ Where can you go ♪

♪ When the world don't treat you right? ♪

♪ The answer is home ♪

♪ That's the one place that you'll find ♪

♪ 7th Heaven ♪

♪ Mmm, 7th Heaven ♪

♪ 7th Heaven. ♪

I hope I'm not disturbing you by doing anything important,

like my homework or anything.

Ugh!

I love you.

I love you, too, but the next bite is mine.

Yeah.

Finally, somebody who knows

what that signal means.

It means, um, "Hi, I'm here. I'd like some ice cream"?

No, it means, "Hi,

"I'm in here.

Could you possibly stop kissing for two minutes."

I don't know, two minutes is a long time.

You know, between school and home

I see a kissathon pretty much 24 hours a day.

I'm sorry. We didn't mean

to make you feel unwelcome or uncomfortable.

Your mom and I just got ourselves and our loved ones

through another day, and we're celebrating.

Actually, it's generally acceptable

for two people in love to kiss, especially in their own home.

Well, I'm glad you feel that way,

because there are two people in love

kissing in the living room,

and they haven't come up for air

in about a half an hour.

Lucy, why don't you finish your homework upstairs?

Oh, yeah. That won't make me feel less lonely at all.

I probably won't think of Jimmy Moon

when I'm all by myself, alone in my room,

while the rest of the house is kissing!

Lucy, you are a great girl,

and a great guy is going to come along for you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What?

Well, why are you just sitting there?

Why aren't you rushing off

to have a talk with your daughter

and her boyfriend in the kissatorium?

When did Mary suddenly become my daughter?

I'm not sure,

but tonight it just feels right.

Uh-huh.

By the way, any idea where your son Matt is tonight?

My son finished his homework and went out with a friend.

If I have to talk to Mary and Wilson,

I'm eating the whole bowl.

Hello.

Oh, it's just you.

What's that mean?

Nothing.

Nobody called, huh?

Just you, and you don't count.

Just like I wouldn't count if I called you.

When you're the only two guys in sixth grade

who don't have girlfriends,

the only voices who count are higher than ours.

Good luck. Your voice is pretty high.

I don't know how to break this to you,

but you're the only guy in the sixth grade

who doesn't have a girlfriend.

Oh, no. How could you do this to me?

Sorry. I walked over to Myra Cole's house

and asked her to go steady.

She said yes.

I didn't want to be the only guy in the sixth grade...

Who doesn't have a girlfriend. Yeah, I know.

And Myra's great.

She could have any guy in the class, but she chose me.

Great.

She has class.

Yeah, yeah.

She even kissed me.

Oh, stop it. Now you're just bragging.

Sorry. Did you call Sheryl yet?

No, I didn't call her.

Who knew you were going

to walk over to Myra's?

Besides, I don't even know her.

Well, you better get over there in a hurry,

'cause pretty soon all the girls are going to be gone,

and it's going to be you and your sad self all year.

Thanks.

You know what I mean.

Yeah. Congratulations.

Thanks.

Girl trouble?

I'm the only guy in sixth grade who isn't going steady.

So?

So I guess when you're in sixth grade

you have to have an official girlfriend,

and I don't.

Why don't you?

I don't know. I thought a girl would ask me by now.

Guess that didn't work, huh?

No.

Nigel gave me a girl's phone number.

Really? What's her name?

Uh, Sheryl. Sheryl Hardwick.

But I don't know her,

and I don't even know if she knows who I am.

So tell her your name when you call her.

Duh.

Hello.

Hello?

Want me to call her?

You sure?

I know a lot about you. I could tell her.

No. That's okay.

I'll, I'll to her in school tomorrow, face to face.

Yeah, right.

No, I will. I believe you.

I really will.

I know.

Good.

He won't, you know.

Did you want something, Dad?

Well, yes, I think I'd like to talk.

Oh, can it wait?

Wilson's gotta go in a minute,

and we were just kissing.

Mm-hmm.

Yes, well, I saw that.

Seems that you've been doing a lot of that lately.

Yeah, I know.

We're kind of in the kissing phase

of our relationship.

But we could be out of it immediately.

No, we couldn't.

And I don't see why we should have to.

We're not doing anything wrong.

Your mom and I are getting a little uncomfortable

with this particular phase.

How come? I mean, Mom and you kiss all the time.

We've been married for 20 years...

19, 19 years we've been married and kissing.

You know, we could just forget the kissing,

and, uh, play cards or something.

I'm a good card player.

I'm not.

Dad, can I talk to you and Mom about this later?

Oh, you can bet on it.

Good night, Wilson.

Good night.

There's nothing wrong with what we're doing.

I know, but I've got a kid,

and it probably makes your parents a little nervous.

And I absolutely understand why it would.

You know, it'd be really great

if you could just be a regular guy

instead of always acting like somebody's parent.

Well, that's the problem. I am somebody's parent.

Loading and unloading of passengers only. No parking.

Here you go, sir.

All right, thank you very much.

Jillian Schwartz, please meet your party

at the lower concourse.

Jillian Schwartz, please meet your party

at the lower concourse.

Hello.

Mom, I'm glad it's you.

What's wrong?

I got a letter from Heather today.

She met somebody. It's over.

Oh, Matt, I'm sorry.

Well, come on home. We'll talk about it.

Mom, I-I know you don't want me to miss school and stuff,

but Heather's more important to me than anything.

I love her, and I want to marry her someday,

and I just can't let it end like this.

Please try and understand.

I do understand. I-I really do.

But, but, Matt, come home.

Let's talk.

Mom, I want to talk to Heather,

and that's not gonna happen unless I'm with her.

I just wanted to call so you wouldn't worry about me.

Flight 745 for Indianapolis is now...

Matt.

At Gate B-4.

Mom, I'm going to Philadelphia. I'll call you when I get there.

Does anybody have any idea

where Matt got the money to go see Heather?

Well, he didn't get it from me, 'cause I don't have any.

Are you telling me you just got your allowance

and you've already spent it?

Yeah.

Right, another time.

Well, I gave Matt two bucks. It's all I had.

And I felt bad

because I only had five dollars to give him.

Well, he didn't go to the airport

with seven bucks, so...

How much, Simon?

Eighty-six dollars

and eighty-three cents.

Where did you get that kind of money?

You.

I get allowance,

and I had some birthday money saved up.

What?

I have simple tastes,

and it's not like I have a lot of expenses.

And you just gave it all to your brother?

Well, he said he'd pay me back $90.

It's more than three dollars profit.

How do you think Matt's going to pay you back?

He'll get a job.

Well, according to the airlines, he didn't get off any flight

arriving this morning in Philadelphia,

so we're not sure where he is.

Needless to say,

if he calls, find one of us. Understand?

Got it.

Understood.

My pleasure.

Piece of cake.

All right, go get your books.

Your mom's driving you to school today.

I was actually thinking that, uh,

you could drop the kids off

on your way to work.

Oh.

Oh, I get it.

You think if you'd gotten Matt's phone call

last night, he wouldn't have gone.

I'm not saying that at all.

Thinking. You're thinking it.

If I had written you a Dear John letter

six months after we started dating,

would you have let me go?

Like father, like son.

I'll get my keys.

How much is a bus ticket to Philadelphia?

More than you've got.

Okay, okay.

How far can I get for 45 bucks?

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Sold.

Now arriving on Platform 3, bus 428 from Chicago.

Bad choice.

Told ya.

Oh...

That thing's been in there for years.

That's gotta be hard as a rock.

I think I broke my tooth.

Bus 315 to Pittsburgh

is boarding at Gate 28.

All passengers for Bus 315

should report to Gate 28 at this time.

See you later.

I saw that.

So how long do you think we have to be neighbors

before we introduce ourselves?

Lucy Camden.

I would've introduced myself a long time ago,

but you're always surrounded.

Charlie Banks.

It's nice to meet you. You, too.

So that was your girlfriend?

No, just some girl who likes me.

So she's just a friend?

Not exactly.

Most girls don't want to be just friends.

They want a boyfriend.

So what do you say?

You think we could be friends?

Sure. Why not?

Cool, uh, I'll see you later.

Charlie Banks is a major heartbreaker,

so don't get any ideas.

I won't.

Well, I can tell from the look on your face

that you already have.

So?

Hey, Nigel.

Hey, wait up.

Hi. Simon, right?

Yeah.

Did you want something?

No. No. No.

No, nothing.

You want to go steady?

Sure.

Great.

Stop!

I'm not afraid of you, Xena, and I'll never talk.

Oh, yes, you will.

Everyone spills their guts to the warrior princess.

For my revenge, I will kiss you all.

Ricky...

What are you doing?

Getting revenge.

Kissing a girl against her will isn't funny, and it isn't okay.

It's okay, Mrs. Rainey.

It wasn't really against my will.

We were just playing a game.

A young man may not kiss a young woman

unless she gives her consent.

I know, but I don't care.

Everyone in my house kisses everyone all the time.

Yeah, I didn't mean anything.

It's not like I like her or something.

Well, maybe so,

but I think I'll send a note home to both your parents

and see how they want to handle it.

I know how to handle it.

More revenge!

Battle on, Xena!

You're home early.

Yeah, I wasn't getting much work done at the office.

Today's choir practice.

So I figured I'd get more done if I worked at home.

Matt hasn't called.

I called Heather's mother and asked her

to tell Heather that he was coming.

She said she'd have Matt call us

the second he got there.

I know.

I called her, too.

I'm getting worried.

Me, too.

Hello.

Yeah, hold on a sec.

It's Charlie,

your locker buddy.

Hello.

Hey, pal, what's up?

Um, nothing really.

I'm just doing my homework.

Yeah? What kind of homework?

Algebra.

Mmm... I'm solving for X.

Actually, I'm just staring at X.

I'm not very good at algebra.

I'm not that great at it, either.

Hey, you'd better get off the phone.

Mom and Dad are waiting for Matt.

Listen, I was hoping

I could ask you for a favor.

Sure.

If I leave a note in your locker,

could you give it to that girl you saw me with today, Rita?

The one you thought was my girlfriend.

Why don't you want to give it to her?

I don't want to make a scene or anything.

Oh, well, it's no problem.

Just drop it in my locker.

Great. Thanks.

Um... is there someone else on the line?

What part of "stay off the phone" do they not understand?

They who?

Lucy and some guy.

Lucy's talking to a guy?

Yeah,

and any other night I'd be happy for her,

or at least okay with it, but not tonight.

Any idea who this guy is?

Is this a teacher's note?

Oops, I forgot.

What's it about?

Something really stupid.

I'll be the judge of that.

Ricky Stevens kissed me

on the playground today and I kissed him back.

Why?

Revenge.

Revenge?

It was just a game.

We were playing Xena: Warrior Princess,

and Ricky got caught.

Battle on, Xena... But you're still

gonna have to get this signed.

I want to get it signed.

I can't wait to get it signed.

It's giving me a stomachache.

But I was hoping Matt would call,

so Mom and Dad would be in a better mood.

Yeah, I don't blame you.

Simon, it's for you.

Janice... your girlfriend?

That's right.

My girlfriend.

Simon here.

Would you stop it?

Who is it this time?

Some girl named Janice.

She says she's Simon's girlfriend?

Oh, yeah. They're going steady.

Why do you know this and I don't?

They come home from school,

I give them a snack, they spill their guts.

Simon's too young to go steady.

All the kids in his class are going steady.

I don't care if they're all legally married.

I don't want my 11-year-old son going steady.

Honey, when you're 11, going steady is an oxymoron.

It's more like going briefly or temporarily.

I don't care.

This whole kid romance thing has gotten completely out of hand.

This whole thing just...

it feeds into kids having sex too early

an-and teen pregnancies and everything else.

It's just wrong.

Don't worry.

He'll call.

I hope so.

Okay, okay.

You wouldn't happen to have, uh...

any kind of jewelry just laying around

that I can have, would you?

Janice wants something like

a-a ring or a bracelet or something

to show that we're going steady.

Give her your red lightning ring.

We've only been going steady a day,

and I plan to wear that red lightning ring when I die.

Of course, Janice probably

already has my funeral planned out.

She has everything else planned out.

You picked a winner, Simon.

Shut up.

Break up with her.

Hello.

Hi, Janice.

Do it. Get it over with.

It's Janice again.

Maybe we should get call waiting.

No, no.

That'll just lead to call return

and, uh, caller I.D., and God knows what else.

Yeah, you're right.

The old telephone domino theory.

How long do you think we can hold on to that?

I am really not in the mood for this.

I know. I'm sorry. I'll make you some tea.

Dad, it's probably Wilson.

And so it is.

Hey, Reverend Camden. Hi.

Hey. I wanted to

talk to Mary, but I know

you wanted to keep your phone open,

so I just came over.

I see that.

So we'll be on the porch.

You know, it's a school night,

and I'm not in such a good mood, and I'm guessing

this is something that can wait till tomorrow.

Yes. Absolutely, sir.

I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Did Matt call?

No, not yet.

Dad?

Hmm.

I know you're in a bad mood,

and I know why, and I don't blame you.

But?

But you are taking this whole thing out

on Wilson and me. I'm just a normal teenager

who likes to kiss her boyfriend.

And I know he made a mistake, and he knows he made a mistake,

but he's a very, a very responsible person, and so am I.

And I think we should be able

to kiss each other once in a while,

without you or Mom acting like it's a big crime

or something.

You know what? This isn't about Wilson.

He's just a part of it. It's about you,

my daughter.

I appreciate

and respect your honesty, but I'm just not comfortable

with your being so physical with a guy.

But, Dad, what do you think is gonna happen?

Do you think that we're gonna

have sex on the couch with six other people running around?

Oh, I hope not.

Well, if you trusted me, you'd know not.

But you are right, though.

This isn't about Wilson,

but it's not about me either.

It's about you.

The fact is, you don't trust me.

I do trust you.

I just don't trust him,

or any other guy.

Look, I'm sorry.

I just, I need to have

a short conversation with Mary... if I may?

All right. One second.

Oh, it's...

Hi.

Hey.

Listen, I'm sorry about my dad.

He's just freaked out about Matt.

I know,

but I'm sure Matt's okay.

You've got a weird look on your face

that makes me think that we're not okay.

I...

I don't know how else to say this, so...

I'm just gonna say it.

I think we should see other people.

Come on, my dad isn't gonna like any guy I go out with.

Good, and I hope he doesn't.

But I don't want to go out with anybody else.

I want to go out with you.

I-I feel the same way.

Well, then, what's the problem?

Why would we see other people?

I'm not comfortable being this close to you.

When you get this close,

things happen...

real quick.

I mean, it's-it's easy to go from kissing to...

more than kissing.

Man, this Boy Scout thing is getting old.

What?

Well, maybe it might be nice

to go out with somebody a little, a little bit bad,

somebody who isn't 17 going on 30,

who isn't always trying to please people,

especially my dad.

I am a bad guy, Mary.

I've got a kid to prove it.

And, yeah, maybe I'm trying

to please people, maybe your dad,

but mostly me.

And I've proven that I can have sex.

Now, I'd just like to prove that I can not have sex.

And where am I in this whole thing?

Don't I get a say?

Does my opinion even matter?

You have figured this whole thing out,

without even talking to me.

I have never asked you to have sex.

I have never even hinted at it,

and do you know why?

Because I don't want to have sex yet.

So you can stop worrying about trying to save me

from myself or my desires

or whatever else you may seem to think I can't control.

I... I just, I don't know where we'll draw the line,

so I'm drawing the line here.

I'm sorry.

Me, too,

but I think you're right.

We should see other people.

I'm sorry.

I got your letter.

Oh, did you call the bus company?

Yeah, you wouldn't believe how much

it costs to ride a bus to Philadelphia.

So?

So I'm going with plan B.

This is a very expensive breakup we're having.

And you?

Wha-what are you up to?

I mean, I'm not suspicious

that you're hiding behind your dad

or anything, but I'm just wondering.

Ms. Rainy sent a little note home with Ruthie.

Did she?

Ruthie kissed Ricky Stevens yesterday on the playground.

Oh.

He did it first.

I did it for revenge.

Great. So I'm the only woman in this house

who hasn't been kissed.

You are so not funny sometimes.

Ms. Rainy wants to know

if either set of parents

would like a meeting with the school board.

You've got to be kidding.

"This incident may be considered sexual harassment."

It was just revenge, and I only kissed him once.

Wait, wait, wait.

Did you kiss him or he kissed you?

He kissed me, then I kissed him,

but I won't do it anymore.

That's probably a good idea.

I had no idea kissing was such a big deal.

Well, let me tell you something, sister, it is.

Good morning, Luce.

Mom. Hi.

Ruthie.

We'll sign this note and tell your teacher

that a school board hearing is not necessary.

Oh, and,

no more kissing until you're...

20.

30 tops.

Yeah.

Mom, would you hand me the milk, please?

Thank you.

I'm going to take a shot here.

Something wrong, Mare?

Oh, not for you.

In fact, you'll probably be very, very happy.

Did you and Wilson break up?

Now, wait a second. That wouldn't make me happy.

I like Wilson.

Oh, really?

Because what you said the other night about kissing

really stuck in his head, and now he thinks

we should see other people because we're getting too close.

So congratulations. You scared my boyfriend off.

I didn't mean to scare off your boyfriend.

Oh, right. Like you really didn't

mean to plant that idea in his head.

There must be more

to your breakup than that conversation with Dad.

Fine! Take his side.

You know, maybe someday I'll find a guy

who doesn't do everything my father tells him to.

You think she can find a guy

who won't do everything I tell him to?

Eventually.

Did you talk to Dad?

Yeah, kind of, but, you know,

I tried to get mad at him, but I don't know...

Maybe seeing other guys isn't totally horrible.

Why is that?

Promise not to say anything,

because this would be a really bad time

for Mom and Dad to know about this.

Wow! What? I promise.

It's just that kissing Wilson

so much makes me wonder what it'd be like to kiss other guys.

Really?

Yeah. I-it's kind of weird.

I mean, Wilson kisses

better than Jeff.

Maybe there's a guy that kisses better than Wilson.

I'm just kind of curious.

You are so cold.

No, I'm not. I'm just practical.

Hey, I'm 15, and it's not like Wilson and I

were going to get married or anything.

I guess. Just stay away from Charlie Banks.

Now, why would I want to kiss your locker buddy?

And if I did,

why would you care?

Listen, I know this might be a bad time,

but I hear you might know a thing or two about breaking up.

What are you talking about?

Janice.

She's got to go.

Who?

Janice, the human telephone,

the boss of me, the girl I'm going steady with.

Didn't Mom tell you?

Well, let me bring you up to date.

She asked me to go steady, and I said yes.

She called me three times last night and twice this morning.

I can't stand the sound of her voice.

She's making me nuts.

Help me.

But help me in a nice way,

'cause I don't want to hurt her feelings

and get a rep as a bad breakup guy,

'cause then no one will ever go steady with me again.

Well, tell her it's not her, it's you.

But it's not me, it's her.

Nothing's wrong with me.

I bet we could find something.

I'll see you later.

Hey, um, thanks for letting me crash at your place last night.

I really appreciate it.

Oh, and, thanks for loaning me the 20 bucks.

I'll send it to you.

I know.

Feeling better?

Um, my, my tooth's okay,

but the rest of me isn't going to get over this in a day.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that this is so hard.

Sure you're in love with him?

I'm sure.

His sister's deaf, and he signs,

and we grew up in the same community.

It just feels right.

I can't explain it.

You, you don't have to. I get it.

It's... it's just that I feel like

I'm the right guy for you.

I want to marry you someday.

I love you.

I know.

But I can't help the way I feel.

You feel he's the right guy?

Yeah.

So, when's your bus leave?

Um, in about seven hours.

Uh, my, my dad, uh, booked a ticket for me,

so I'm supposed to pick it up

at the ticket counter at the station.

How long will it take you to get back?

About three and a half days.

Just in time for school on Monday.

You... you want to wait here?

No. No, thanks.

I'll, I'll wait at the bus station.

As bad as it is, I think it might be easier.

Bye, Matt.

Good-bye.

Excuse me, are you Rita?

Why do you want to know?

Because Charlie asked me to give you this.

Really?

Thanks.

Anything you need, just ask. I owe you.

What?

Just ask.

Okay, it's just... could you kiss me.

What, do you got a bet with someone?

No.

Well, it's not a bet, then, hmm... first kiss.

No, I've been kissed,

just not kissed kissed.

Okay. Fine, never.

So will you?

I could, but I won't.

I can't kiss you, Peaches.

If I did, we wouldn't just be friends anymore.

Just hang in there.

We'll find you a great guy to kiss.

Peaches?

Yeah, you got that peaches and cream

complexion thing going,

like in one of those soap commercials.

It's, it's nice.

Thanks.

I'm telling you... heartbreaker.

It's okay. I'm young.

My heart can take it.

I have to break up with Janice.

She's killing me.

Who's Janice?

I thought you were going with Sheryl.

You need a scorecard, Nigel.

Sheryl was taken by that big guy, Mark.

Ouch.

So I went steady with Janice.

Congratulations.

No. You don't understand.

Mayday, mayday. Did she see me?

Oh, yeah.

Hi.

Hello.

My mom would like you and your family

to come over Friday night for dinner

so we all can get to know each other.

We can't.

Why?

Well, because we're breaking up.

What?

Well, I, I have to break up with you, because...

well, because...

Who cares?

Hey, want to go steady?

Sure.

Because what?

What?

Why'd you have to break up with her?

Well, I was going to say it wasn't her, it was me,

but I couldn't get the words out.

Anyone who knows you wouldn't buy that anyways.

You're a great guy.

Thanks. Try telling my sisters that.

Hey, you want to play with us?

You can be the prisoner.

I can't. My dad says Xena's just plain old male bashing.

What does that mean?

I don't know, but I can't be involved in anything Xena.

Too bad, 'cause Xena's the cool stuff.

Hey, maybe you guys could play

Pretty, Pretty Princess.

Nah.

Sorry, nobody with the name Camden charged any tickets.

Can you check again?

Well, I talked to my mom,

and she said my dad would take care of it.

Yet he hasn't.

So why don't you have a seat,

and if I get any calls, I'll know where to find you.

What are you doing here?

Couldn't let you spend three days on a bus with a broken heart,

so I figured we could fly back together.

Oh, man. You don't know how glad I am to see you.

Sorry that I just took off like that.

I just had to see Heather.

Not that it made any difference.

I understand.

You do?

Oh, yeah.

Let's go home.

Yeah.