All language subtitles for 3rd.Rock.from.the.Sun.S03E21.The.Physics.of.Being.Dick.1080p.DVD.DD.2.0.H.265.-EDGE2020_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:07,806 SHE THINKS SHE IS ALL THAT, BUT SHE IS NOT ALL THAT. 2 00:00:07,808 --> 00:00:12,811 OH, NO, GIRLFRIEND, DO NOT GO THERE. DO NOT GO THERE! 3 00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:15,480 OH, DAMN! SHE WENT THERE. 4 00:00:17,317 --> 00:00:20,084 WELL, I BETTER GET BACK TO THE STATION. 5 00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:21,219 TIME TO GO ON DUTY? 6 00:00:21,221 --> 00:00:24,722 NO. I'M ON DUTY. IT'S TIME TO PUNCH OUT. 7 00:00:24,724 --> 00:00:27,159 WELL, I'LL SEE YOU THURSDAY, TOMMY, AT CAREER DAY. 8 00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:28,293 CAREER DAY? 9 00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:30,728 WHAT CAREER DAY? I'VE HEARD NOTHING OF THIS. 10 00:00:30,730 --> 00:00:33,665 IT'S NOTHING, DICK. IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF BORES 11 00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,733 BLABBING ON ABOUT WHAT THEY DO. 12 00:00:35,735 --> 00:00:37,235 YOU WOULDN'T BE INTERESTED. 13 00:00:37,237 --> 00:00:40,972 WAIT. DICK NOT INTERESTED IN TALKING ABOUT HIMSELF? 14 00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:43,308 I KNOW! THAT'S INSANE. 15 00:00:44,577 --> 00:00:46,178 OH, DON'T BE SILLY, TOMMY. 16 00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:47,979 ONCE YOUR CLASSMATES HEAR ME SPEAK, 17 00:00:47,981 --> 00:00:49,815 YOU'LL BE THE TOAST OF THE SCHOOL. 18 00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:51,316 ARE YOU KIDDING, DICK? 19 00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:52,817 YOU'RE A PHYSICS PROFESSOR. 20 00:00:52,819 --> 00:00:55,754 I MEAN, THAT'S ALMOST AS DORKY AS... 21 00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:00,992 I GOT NOTHING. 22 00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:02,428 I'M STUMPED. 23 00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:03,929 THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS! 24 00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:05,564 I'M WISE. I'M REVERED. 25 00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:08,567 AND I WORK DAMN HARD! WHO DO YOU THINK PUTS FOOD ON THE TABLE? 26 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:09,834 I PUT IT THERE. 27 00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:11,170 I'M GOING WITH AMERICA'S FARMERS. 28 00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:12,504 THERE'S FOOD ON THE TABLE? 29 00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,006 OH, NOW, STOP IT. 30 00:01:14,008 --> 00:01:15,740 IF YOU PEOPLE THINK IT'S SO EASY, 31 00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:18,510 WHY DON'T YOU GET A JOB AND WORK FOR A CHANGE? 32 00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:20,579 I'M GLAD THAT WAS A QUESTION AND NOT AN ORDER. 33 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,213 Dick: IT'S AN ORDER! 34 00:01:22,215 --> 00:01:24,716 WELL, I'M GLAD IT'S AN ORDER AND NOT A DIRECT ORDER. 35 00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:26,818 Dick: IT'S A DIRECT ORDER! 36 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:28,319 I'M GLAD IT'S A DIRECT ORDER-- 37 00:01:28,321 --> 00:01:30,789 Dick: GO GET THE WANT ADS! 38 00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:10,095 HEY, GUYS. 39 00:02:10,097 --> 00:02:11,096 IS DICK HERE? 40 00:02:11,098 --> 00:02:12,097 NO. 41 00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:13,364 I WANTED TO TALK TO HIM. 42 00:02:13,366 --> 00:02:14,366 WHY? 43 00:02:14,368 --> 00:02:15,367 WELL, I'M LOOKING FOR WORK. 44 00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:16,501 THERE WERE SOME SWEET GIGS 45 00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:18,436 ON THE PENDLETON RESEARCH BOARD, 46 00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:20,138 BUT I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE TO DO, LIKE HERE. 47 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,273 I CAN GET 50 BUCKS 48 00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:23,508 IF I LET THEM RUB SOLVENTS IN MY EYES. 49 00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:28,180 OH, SALLY, THAT--THAT'S NOT GOOD. 50 00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:30,182 REALLY? WELL, I COULD SIGN UP 51 00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:31,183 FOR THE HORNET STING STUDY, 52 00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:32,618 BUT I DIDN'T BRING A SWIMSUIT. 53 00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:36,588 DR. ALBRIGHT IS LOOKING FOR A RESEARCH ASSISTANT. 54 00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:37,923 REALLY?! 55 00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:39,324 UH... 56 00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,827 YES, BUT IT'S JUST GRUNT WORK. 57 00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:44,296 I MEAN, IT DOESN'T PAY HORNET STUDY MONEY. 58 00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:45,997 OH, THAT'S OK. WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO? 59 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,767 UH, WELL, I'M GIVING A TALK NEXT WEEK 60 00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,001 AT THE FACULTY CLUB. 61 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,969 SOME BOLIVIAN PROFESSORS WILL BE THERE, 62 00:02:51,971 --> 00:02:53,638 AND I'M GOING TO BE DISCUSSING THE CULTURE 63 00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:55,273 OF THE AYMARA INDIANS. 64 00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:56,541 AND I'M YOUR DATE? 65 00:02:57,644 --> 00:02:59,644 NO. YOU'RE MY FACT CHECKER. 66 00:02:59,646 --> 00:03:01,646 YOU JUST GO TO THE LIBRARY 67 00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:04,049 AND MAKE SURE ALL MY INFORMATION IS ACCURATE. 68 00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:05,884 HMM, I WOULD'VE GONE WITH THE HORNETS. 69 00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:07,386 GOOD MORNING, MARY. 70 00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:08,387 GOOD MORNING. 71 00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:10,321 SALLY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 72 00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:12,390 OH, I'M DOING SOME ANTHROPOLOGY STUFF FOR ALBRIGHT. 73 00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:13,492 YOU'RE WHAT?! 74 00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:14,993 SEE YA, BOSS. 75 00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:16,661 WELL, THAT'S JUST GREAT! 76 00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:19,397 YOU NEVER SHOW ANY INTEREST IN PHYSICS! 77 00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:22,400 WELL, DICK, THERE'S GOOD REASON FOR THAT. 78 00:03:22,402 --> 00:03:24,002 IT'S PHYSICS. 79 00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:26,605 LIKE ANTHROPOLOGY IS SO HOT? 80 00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:28,607 I MEAN, SURE, THERE'S NAKED PEOPLE, 81 00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:31,410 BUT...ONCE YOU GET PAST THAT, 82 00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:33,345 IT'S REALLY JUST... 83 00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:34,780 WHAT? 84 00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:37,683 I DON'T KNOW. I CAN'T GET PAST THE NAKED PEOPLE. 85 00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:49,928 YOU KNOW HOW THEY SAY IF YOU REALLY WANT A JOB, 86 00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:52,631 IT'LL JUST FALL RIGHT IN YOUR LAP? 87 00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:54,132 UH, NO. 88 00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:59,538 AND HOW DESPERATION IS THE SUREST ROAD TO SUCCESS. 89 00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:01,873 I NEVER HEARD THAT. 90 00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:04,443 WHY DO THEY SAY THOSE THINGS? WHY? 91 00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:07,345 I'M NOT SURE THEY DO. 92 00:04:07,347 --> 00:04:09,347 I FELL FOR THE LIES. 93 00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:11,850 POUNDED THE PAVEMENT, AND NOW HERE I AM. 94 00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:14,853 THERE ARE NO JOBS FOR GUYS LIKE ME. 95 00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:17,722 YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR A NEW BARTENDER FOR A WHILE NOW. 96 00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:22,327 DO YOU MIND, BUDDY? WE'RE TALKING ABOUT MY PROBLEMS NOW. 97 00:04:22,329 --> 00:04:25,730 I'M SAYING I NEED SOMEBODY TO START TODAY. 98 00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:29,468 UH, YEAH. WELL, I GUESS YOU'RE OUT OF LUCK. 99 00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:31,203 WHY, WHAT DO YOU GOT GOING ON? 100 00:04:31,205 --> 00:04:34,139 I'M LOOKING FOR A JOB, BRAINIAC! 101 00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:38,377 MORNING, CLASS, I'M... 102 00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:39,378 SORRY I'M... 103 00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:40,445 SO LATE. 104 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,914 A FUNNY THING HAPPENED TODAY. 105 00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:45,416 I LEARNED THAT THERE IS A, UH, A... 106 00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:46,918 SMALL GROUP OF PEOPLE 107 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:50,856 THAT DOESN'T FIND PHYSICS ABSOLUTELY EXHILARATING. 108 00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:54,259 ISN'T THAT HILARIOUS? 109 00:04:58,998 --> 00:04:59,997 EXACTLY. 110 00:04:59,999 --> 00:05:01,433 SO I WAS WONDERING, 111 00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:03,234 WHAT DROVE YOU TO TAKE IT? 112 00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:04,936 WELL, UH, IT'S REQUIRED. 113 00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:06,571 AND WE WANT TO GRADUATE. 114 00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:09,941 SO THAT'S ALL THAT BRINGS YOU BACK TO MY CLASS, A REQUIREMENT? 115 00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:12,844 NOT ONE OF YOU YEARNS FOR A CAREER IN PHYSICS? 116 00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:18,450 NOT ONE SOUL LONGS TO MAKE PHYSICS HIS LIFEWORK? 117 00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:22,954 NOT ONE AMONG YOU ASPIRES TO PLACE PHYSICS-- 118 00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,289 DR. SOLOMON. 119 00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:27,525 LEON, PLEASE, TELL ME YOU HAVE TO PEE. 120 00:05:32,198 --> 00:05:33,197 GUESS WHAT. 121 00:05:33,199 --> 00:05:34,198 WHAT? 122 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,435 I FOUND A MISTAKE IN YOUR SPEECH. 123 00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:40,505 OH. OK. LET'S HEAR IT. 124 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:44,375 OK. THIS IS SO GREAT. OK. 125 00:05:44,377 --> 00:05:45,977 HERE ON PAGE 2, 126 00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:49,180 YOU SAY THERE AREN'T ANY AYMARAN COMMUNITIES ON THE HIGH PLAINS, 127 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:51,483 BUT DIRKSON'S SURVEY SAYS THERE ARE. 128 00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:53,018 NO, THERE AREN'T. 129 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:54,386 YEAH, BUT DIRKSON SAYS THERE ARE. 130 00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:58,856 ALL RIGHT. MAYBE THERE'S ONE OR TWO, 131 00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:00,525 BUT MY POINT STILL STANDS. 132 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,027 NO. OK, BUT DIRKSON SAYS-- 133 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,929 FORGET DIRKSON! 134 00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:06,932 JUST GO BACK THERE AND CONCENTRATE ON-- 135 00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:11,369 ON PLACE NAMES AND SPELLINGS AND THINGS LIKE THAT. 136 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,838 OK? 137 00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:18,310 MAN, WHO DIED AND MADE HER DIRKSON? 138 00:06:18,312 --> 00:06:20,812 LOOK, SALLY, IF YOU'RE GONNA WORK FOR DR. ALBRIGHT, 139 00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:23,381 THERE ARE A COUPLE OF THINGS YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND. 140 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:26,784 ONE: SHE DOESN'T LIKE TO BE CORRECTED WHEN SHE'S WRONG. 141 00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:29,421 AND TWO: SHE'S OFTEN WRONG. 142 00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:31,423 WAIT, WAIT. SO I SHOULDN'T TELL HER 143 00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:34,492 HER BREATH SMELLS LIKE A SOCK FULL OF HORSERADISH? 144 00:06:34,494 --> 00:06:35,994 I DIDN'T. 145 00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:42,400 BUT, HEY, THAT'S MY BOSS. 146 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,402 I JUST CAN'T PLEASE HIM. 147 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,505 WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? 148 00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:49,941 EXACTLY. I JUST CAN'T WIN. 149 00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:52,477 WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? 150 00:06:54,113 --> 00:06:55,246 YOU SAID IT. 151 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,181 YOU KNOW, I GOT A FAMILY TO THINK ABOUT. 152 00:06:57,183 --> 00:06:59,216 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? 153 00:06:59,218 --> 00:07:01,218 HEY, YOU KNOW YOU'RE RIGHT. 154 00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:02,720 TOMORROW, I'M GOING DOWN THERE, 155 00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:05,122 AND I'M GONNA TELL HIM WHAT HE CAN DO WITH HIS JOB. 156 00:07:05,124 --> 00:07:07,024 HARRY, THANKS FOR LISTENING. 157 00:07:07,026 --> 00:07:09,860 HEY, WHAT AM I GONNA DO? 158 00:07:09,862 --> 00:07:11,796 HARRY, I NEED A DRINK. 159 00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:13,030 YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE. 160 00:07:13,032 --> 00:07:15,466 I GOT THE WHOLE TOWN OF RUTHERFORD DRINKING AGAIN. 161 00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:16,634 HARRY! 162 00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:18,603 ALL RIGHT! 163 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,105 WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD? 164 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:23,174 YOU DOLE OUT MOONSHINE TO A ROOMFUL OF BOOZEHOUNDS 165 00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:24,609 AND EVERYBODY LOVES YOU, 166 00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:28,613 WHILE I SHAPE YOUNG MINDS WITH THE ELEGANT LAWS OF PHYSICS, 167 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,382 AND WHAT DO I GET? NOTHING. 168 00:07:30,384 --> 00:07:31,883 HERE'S THE DEAL, DICK. 169 00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:34,886 AROUND HERE, A GUY CAN'T EVEN GIVE PEACH SCHNAPPS AWAY. 170 00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:39,391 BUT YOU PUT IT IN A PINEAPPLE GLASS, ADD A LITTLE UMBRELLA, 171 00:07:39,393 --> 00:07:42,327 CALL IT A SHOOTER, I CAN'T MAKE 'EM FAST ENOUGH. 172 00:07:43,530 --> 00:07:45,630 HARRY, THAT'S BRILLIANT! 173 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:48,333 YOU'RE SAYING I GOTTA GIVE PHYSICS A LITTLE RAZZLE-DAZZLE, 174 00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:49,334 RIGHT? 175 00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:50,468 OK. 176 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,404 OF COURSE! THIS IS THE NINETIES. 177 00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:56,440 KIDS WANT WHAT'S COOL. THEY WANT THE LATEST, THE HERE AND NOW. 178 00:07:56,442 --> 00:07:57,908 THEY WANT THE FONZ! 179 00:07:57,910 --> 00:08:00,178 AYYY! 180 00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:01,579 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? 181 00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:04,515 I'M GOING TO CAREER DAY! 182 00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:07,985 ALL RIGHT! YOU DO THAT! 183 00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:09,588 WHAT AN IDIOT. 184 00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:14,225 HARRY, DID SOME JOKER PUT MY NUMBER UP 185 00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:16,061 ON THE MEN'S ROOM WALL? 186 00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:17,796 OOH, I DON'T THINK SO. 187 00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:21,566 WELL, BE A DOLL AND PUT IT UP THERE, WILL YA... 188 00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:24,169 BEFORE THAT BIG GUY WITH THE BEARD TAKES A LEAK? 189 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,140 HI. AM I INTERRUPTING? 190 00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:30,875 NO. COME IN. 191 00:08:30,877 --> 00:08:33,578 WHAT'S WRONG? FIND ANOTHER MISTAKE? 192 00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:34,880 NO. NOTHING. 193 00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,114 REALLY? 194 00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:38,383 REALLY. I WENT THROUGH IT WITH A FINE-TOOTH COMB. 195 00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:39,885 THIS BABY IS GOLD. 196 00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:41,252 GREAT. 197 00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:43,387 WHAT ABOUT THE POPULATION OF CIRCUATA? 198 00:08:43,389 --> 00:08:44,856 I WAS JUST GUESSING ON IT. 199 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,290 THAT WAS A GUESS? 200 00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:47,692 YOU NAILED IT! 201 00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:52,497 WELL, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN PRETTY GOOD WITH TRENDS 202 00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:54,198 IN THAT PART OF THE HEMISPHERE. 203 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,200 LISTEN, I GOTTA TELL YOU, 204 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:58,602 AFTER READING DIRKSON, YOUR STUFF WAS REFRESHING. 205 00:08:58,604 --> 00:09:03,141 BUT SUBSTANTIAL, LIKE, UH, GATORADE, BUT WITH MEAT IN IT. 206 00:09:04,777 --> 00:09:07,245 SALLY, LET ME BUY YOU LUNCH. 207 00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:08,747 WE CAN GO TO THE OAK ROOM. 208 00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:10,081 THE OAK ROOM? 209 00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,616 YOU DESERVE A TREAT. 210 00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:13,618 WELL, I SPENT THE DAY WITH YOUR SPEECH. 211 00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,720 I THINK I'VE HAD MY TREAT. 212 00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:19,357 DEAR GOD! 213 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,861 THEY HAVE CHOCOLATE CHEESECAKE. 214 00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:25,997 OF COURSE, I SHOULD PROBABLY JUST APPLY IT DIRECTLY TO MY THIGHS. 215 00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:28,233 HA HA HA HA HA HA! 216 00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:29,800 THAT'S, OH, SO FUNNY! 217 00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:36,307 OH, YEAH. ALL RIGHT. 218 00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:41,446 STEP RIGHT UP, KIDS, AND MEET THE GIRLS OF PHYSICS. 219 00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:45,150 EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM A BUNDLE OF MASS AND ENERGY. 220 00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:47,285 ARE YOU REALLY A LICENSED BIKINI INSPECTOR? 221 00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:50,889 UH, KIND OF. I'M A PHYSICS PROFESSOR, YOU UNDERSTAND? 222 00:09:50,891 --> 00:09:53,391 NOW, FRIENDS, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT A LITTLE THING CALLED PHYSICS. 223 00:09:53,393 --> 00:09:55,860 YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES A CAR GO FAST? PHYSICS. 224 00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:58,863 AND YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES A CURVE BALL CURVE? WHY, PHYSICS! 225 00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:00,865 AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOT ME STANDING HERE 226 00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:02,867 INSTEAD OF FLOATING OUT THE WINDOW LIKE A PUFF OF SMOKE? 227 00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:04,368 INERTIA, WITH A CAPITAL "I." 228 00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:06,404 THAT RHYMES WITH PI, AND THAT STARTS WITH "P," 229 00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:08,106 AND THAT STANDS FOR PHYSICS. 230 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:13,444 YOUR FATHER IS AN INSULT TO THIS ENTIRE SCHOOL. 231 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,780 I DON'T SEE YOUR DAD HERE. 232 00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:18,850 UH, MY DAD IS PERFORMING OPEN-HEART SURGERY RIGHT NOW. 233 00:10:20,086 --> 00:10:22,887 OH, COULDN'T CUT IT AS A BRAIN SURGEON? 234 00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:27,358 NOW, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT SOMETHING THAT'S REALLY HOT. 235 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:30,428 INASMUCH AS "E" EQUALS COSINE "M" PLUS "I" SINE "M," 236 00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:32,930 WE GET ARBITRARY VALUES OF THE SEPARATION CONSTANT "P." 237 00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:34,232 NOW, WATCH THIS. 238 00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:36,233 I'M SORRY I'M LATE, KIDS, 239 00:10:36,235 --> 00:10:39,804 BUT I WAS INVOLVED IN ONE OF THE WORLD'S SCARIEST POLICE CHASES. 240 00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,105 HOW'D IT END? 241 00:10:41,107 --> 00:10:42,140 THE GUY GOT AWAY. 242 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,341 OHHH! 243 00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:45,510 BUT I ROLLED MY CAR. 244 00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:47,445 COOL! COOL! 245 00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:49,480 OH, MAN, I WANT TO BE A COP. 246 00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:52,483 IT'S NOT ALL GLAMOUR, KIDS, BUT IT'S MOSTLY GLAMOUR. 247 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:55,019 OH, AND, UH, GUNS. 248 00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:56,688 COOL! COOL! 249 00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:59,657 AND WHAT MAKES THAT POLICEMAN'S GUN SO COOL? PHYSICS! 250 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,993 KINETIC ENERGY GENERATES THE VELOCITY 251 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,427 WITH WHICH THE BULLET EXITS THE BARREL, 252 00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:05,964 WHILE THE BALLISTIC COEFFICIENT AND SECTIONAL DENSITY 253 00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:07,866 DETERMINE THE DAMAGE TO ITS TARGETS. 254 00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:11,335 GUNS DON'T KILL PEOPLE. PHYSICS KILLS PEOPLE! 255 00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:15,840 OOHHH. OHH! 256 00:11:25,484 --> 00:11:26,417 [SNAPS FINGERS] 257 00:11:30,157 --> 00:11:31,088 TONY! 258 00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:45,570 DICK, I TOLD YOU, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE COME TO CAREER DAY. 259 00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:48,306 OH, WHEN WE FIRST CAME TO THIS PLANET, I COULD'VE GOTTEN ANY JOB. 260 00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:51,509 COWBOY, ROCK STAR, INTERNATIONAL SUPERSPY. 261 00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:53,778 WHY DID I CHOOSE PHYSICS? 262 00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:56,281 DICK, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY. 263 00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:58,716 WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, 264 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,286 JUST SHUT UP AND EAT THE DAMN LEMONS. 265 00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:02,787 WELL, I'VE HAD IT. 266 00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:05,790 I RENOUNCE PHYSICS AND ALL ITS USES AND APPLICATIONS, 267 00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:07,792 INCLUDING CONSERVATION OF MOMENTUM. 268 00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:08,793 WHOO HOO HOO. 269 00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:10,127 I'M OUT. I'M OUT. 270 00:12:10,129 --> 00:12:11,128 HEY, GUYS. 271 00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:12,397 HEY. YO, DUBIE. 272 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:13,898 GIVE ME A MARGARITA, HARRY. 273 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,232 WHAT ABOUT YOUR JOB? 274 00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:17,101 I'M ON THE JOB RIGHT NOW, BABY. ROCKS, NO SALT. 275 00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:19,270 ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT MARY'S PRESENTATION IS ALREADY PERFECT? 276 00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:22,207 WELL, SHE THINKS IT IS, AND I'M GETTING PAID NOT TO ARGUE. KA-CHING! 277 00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:23,274 [DING] 278 00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:24,675 YOU GOT LUCKY, DAMN YOU. 279 00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:26,845 I'LL TELL YOU THE SECRET. YOU JUST PUCKER UP, 280 00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:30,214 VAPOR-LOCK ONTO YOUR BOSS' BUTT, AND HOLD ON. 281 00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:33,184 NO INDEPENDENT THOUGHT REQUIRED. 282 00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:35,686 IN FACT, IT JUST GETS IN YOUR WAY. 283 00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:38,189 FREE THINKERS DIE IN THE DIRT LIKE DOGS, SALLY. 284 00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:39,590 HERE'S YOUR BOOZE. 285 00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:40,858 SALLY. 286 00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:42,860 DUBIE, MY HOLLOW-LEGGED LADY FRIEND. 287 00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:46,363 ONE-EYED JIMMY'S GONNA GO OUT BACK AND FIGHT A MIDGET. 288 00:12:46,365 --> 00:12:47,765 YOU WANNA WATCH? 289 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,300 YEAH. LET'S GO. 290 00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:50,701 CITIZENS. 291 00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:53,204 AH, WHAT'LL IT BE, OFFICER? 292 00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:55,773 OH, I'M JUST IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD CHECKING THINGS OUT. 293 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,808 YOU GOT IT. ONE FREE CHEESEBURGER. 294 00:12:57,810 --> 00:12:59,277 DON'T BE STINGY WITH THE ONIONS. 295 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:00,878 HARRY, I'D LIKE A FREE CHEESEBURGER. 296 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,146 YOU GOT IT. THAT'LL BE 6 BUCKS. 297 00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:04,715 OH! THAT'S IT! I WANT A NEW JOB! 298 00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:07,886 A JOB THAT COMES WITH RESPECT, STATURE, AND FREE CHEESEBURGERS. 299 00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:09,253 I WANT YOUR JOB. 300 00:13:09,255 --> 00:13:11,722 DICK, YOU DON'T KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT BEING A COP. 301 00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:15,659 IT'S A GRITTY JOB WHERE A GOOD DAY IS ONE WHERE YOU COME HOME ALIVE. 302 00:13:15,661 --> 00:13:18,596 ISN'T THAT PRETTY MUCH A GOOD DAY FOR ANYONE? 303 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,233 [POLICE RADIO CHATTER] 304 00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:24,235 I GOTTA GO BACK TO THE STATION. 305 00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:25,603 THEY'RE BRINGING IN A SUSPECT. 306 00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:26,937 HEY, DON, I WANT TO GO. 307 00:13:26,939 --> 00:13:29,173 I WANT TO HOLD A GUN AND FLASH A BADGE. 308 00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:31,609 I DON'T KNOW, DICK. IT'S ILLEGAL, IT'S DANGEROUS, 309 00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:34,678 AND IT VIOLATES THE SACRED OATH I TOOK WHEN I JOINED THE FORCE. 310 00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:36,447 SO DON'T TELL ANYONE. 311 00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:37,681 LET'S GO! 312 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,020 ALL RIGHT, DICK. WE'RE GONNA GO IN THERE. 313 00:13:43,022 --> 00:13:45,256 WE'RE GONNA DO A LITTLE THING WE LIKE TO CALL 314 00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:46,757 "GOOD COP, BAD COP." 315 00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:48,092 YOU'RE GOOD COP. 316 00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:49,326 I'M DOWN WITH THAT. 317 00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:51,428 I'M GLAD. ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. 318 00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:58,503 HI, JONESY, I'M DICK. I LIKE YOUR SHIRT. 319 00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:03,641 SO, YOU SAY THAT YOU DIDN'T ROB ANY GAS STATION. 320 00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:05,809 RIGHT, JONESY? YEAH. 321 00:14:05,811 --> 00:14:07,278 RIGHT. NOW, I-- 322 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,480 I BELIEVE YOU, BUT... 323 00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:11,048 THE THING IS... 324 00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:12,049 YOU'RE SCUM! 325 00:14:12,051 --> 00:14:13,985 I FIND CHUNKS OF YOU IN MY PUKE! 326 00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:15,819 SO DON'T YOU JERK ME AROUND! 327 00:14:15,821 --> 00:14:16,820 DICK! 328 00:14:16,822 --> 00:14:18,322 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 329 00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,593 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD COP. 330 00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:23,594 I AM! 331 00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:24,929 YOU'RE RAISING THE BAR TOO HIGH. 332 00:14:24,931 --> 00:14:26,430 YOU KNOW HOW BAD I HAVE TO BE NOW? 333 00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:27,665 REAL BAD! 334 00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:29,267 I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF. 335 00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:30,834 WHY DON'T YOU BE GOOD COP? 336 00:14:30,836 --> 00:14:32,870 THAT WAY, I CAN GO AS BIG AS I WANT. 337 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:36,641 OK, I'LL BE GOOD COP. 338 00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:42,179 OH, WELL, YOU'LL HAVE TO, UH, EXCUSE MY PARTNER. 339 00:14:42,181 --> 00:14:44,348 HE'S GOT A REAL MEAN STREAK, 340 00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:47,184 BUT...I WANT TO HELP YOU OUT. 341 00:14:47,186 --> 00:14:49,687 SEE, I KNOW THAT YOU'RE A NICE-- 342 00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:50,622 OH! 343 00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,056 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 344 00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:54,958 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? 345 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,360 I'M ALWAYS GOOD COP. 346 00:14:56,362 --> 00:14:58,429 THIS WAS MY ONE CHANCE TO BE BAD COP. 347 00:14:58,431 --> 00:14:59,797 BUT I'M A BAD GOOD COP. 348 00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:01,032 YOU'RE NOT EVEN A COP! 349 00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:02,900 WELL, CAN'T WE BOTH BE BAD COP? 350 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,968 BUT THE WHOLE CONCEPT IS-- 351 00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:05,903 OH, WHATEVER. 352 00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:10,241 NOW I WANT ANSWERS! 353 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,276 AND I REALLY WANT ANSWERS! 354 00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:19,216 THANK YOU FOR INVITING ME TO YOUR CONFERENCE. 355 00:15:19,218 --> 00:15:21,152 HOW DO I LOOK? 356 00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:22,987 YOU LOOK FINE. 357 00:15:22,989 --> 00:15:25,389 I LOVE BOLIVIAN MEN. 358 00:15:25,391 --> 00:15:28,826 THEY'RE LIKE HONDURANS WITHOUT ALL THE ATTITUDE. 359 00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:30,161 GOOD AFTERNOON, LADIES. 360 00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:31,529 OH, DR. ALBRIGHT, 361 00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:33,164 WHAT A GREAT SUIT! 362 00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:35,500 WELL, THANK YOU, SALLY. 363 00:15:35,502 --> 00:15:39,503 SALLY, YOU SMELL LIKE JAGERMEISTER. 364 00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:43,240 SOMEBODY SPILLED IT ON ME IN THE LIBRARY. 365 00:15:43,242 --> 00:15:46,177 WELL, ONCE AGAIN, I WAS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY. 366 00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:47,345 IF I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER, 367 00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:49,213 I'D SWEAR YOU WERE A MORON. 368 00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:53,517 AYMARAN. 369 00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:54,452 AYMARAN. 370 00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:01,692 COME ON. WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS. 371 00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:03,394 YOU DID IT, RIGHT? 372 00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:05,997 NO. 373 00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:06,998 COME ON. 374 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,167 YOU CAN TELL US. 375 00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:11,235 NO. I DIDN'T DO IT. 376 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,976 WELL, SO MUCH FOR GOOD COP, GOOD COP. 377 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,311 THERE'S NO SUCH THING! 378 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,380 I TOLD YOU, THERE'S ONLY ONE PERMUTATION THAT WORKS. 379 00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:24,382 OK. I HAVE THIS IDEA. 380 00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:26,250 SAD COP, SOMEWHAT EFFEMINATE COP. 381 00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:27,251 GET OUT! 382 00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:28,486 GO HOME, DICK. 383 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,154 YOU ARE NOT COP MATERIAL. 384 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,222 I HAVE TO BE! 385 00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:32,490 IT'S NOT YOU. IT'S JUST NOT YOU. 386 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:33,991 YOU'RE RIGHT. 387 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,959 APPARENTLY, I WAS PUT ON THIS EARTH 388 00:16:35,961 --> 00:16:39,330 TO BORE A BUNCH OF UNRECEPTIVE DIMWITS TO THE END OF MY DAYS. 389 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:40,998 IT'S MY LOT IN LIFE. 390 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,234 WELL, I THINK WE BOTH LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY. LET'S HAVE LUNCH SOMETIME. 391 00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:46,671 LOOK. 392 00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:48,172 WHY DON'T YOU JUST LET ME GO? 393 00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:50,174 BECAUSE I KNOW YOU DID IT, JONESY! 394 00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:52,176 YOU JUMPED THE FENCE, AND YOU STOLE THE MONEY. 395 00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,677 BUT YOU GOT NO PROOF. 396 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,814 BESIDES, I COULDN'T JUMP THAT FENCE. 397 00:16:56,816 --> 00:16:58,983 IT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. 398 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,619 PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE? 399 00:17:02,621 --> 00:17:05,022 THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG. 400 00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,424 YOU MAY NOT HAVE MUCH RESPECT FOR THE LAW, JONESY, 401 00:17:07,426 --> 00:17:09,193 BUT THERE'S ONE LAW THAT YOU CAN'T BREAK: 402 00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:13,397 COULOMB'S THIRD LAW OF UNIVERSAL GRAVITATION. 403 00:17:13,399 --> 00:17:14,698 WHAT? 404 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,700 IT STATES THAT THE FORCE BETWEEN 2 OBJECTS 405 00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:19,703 IS PROPORTIONAL TO THE ALGEBRAIC PRODUCTS OF THEIR RESPECTIVE CHARGES, 406 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:22,206 AS WELL AS PROPORTIONAL TO THE INVERSE SQUARE 407 00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,641 OF THE DISTANCE BETWEEN THEM! 408 00:17:24,643 --> 00:17:28,212 BUT OF COURSE, YOU KNEW THAT, DIDN'T YOU, JONESY? 409 00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:29,813 NOT--NOT ALL OF IT. 410 00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:32,983 YOU'RE OBJECT "X," 411 00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:35,118 AND THE FENCE IS OBJECT "Y." 412 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,221 NOW, WHERE "V" IS THE VELOCITY OF THE 2 OBJECTS, 413 00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:39,223 AND "R" IS THE DISTANCE BETWEEN THEM, 414 00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:42,226 AND "E" IS A UNIT VECTOR DIRECTED FROM THE FIRST OBJECT TO THE SECOND, 415 00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:44,828 WE SEE THAT THE FENCE PROVED LITTLE CHALLENGE. 416 00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:46,964 WELL...I GUESS. 417 00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:49,166 YOU GUESS! I BET YOU GUESS. 418 00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:51,669 AND SO WE SEE THAT "X" EQUALS ZERO 419 00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:54,171 AS "Y" APPROACHES INFINITY! 420 00:17:54,173 --> 00:17:56,007 THAT'S HOW YOU AVOIDED THE SECURITY CAMERA. 421 00:17:56,009 --> 00:17:58,342 THAT'S HOW YOU MANAGED TO GET BACK OVER THE FENCE. 422 00:17:58,344 --> 00:18:01,278 THAT'S HOW THEY FOUND YOU EXACTLY 1.3 MILES FROM THE CRIME SCENE, 423 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:02,413 PROVING THAT YOU AND ONLY YOU 424 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:04,281 COULD HAVE PERPETRATED THIS HEINOUS CRIME! 425 00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:05,450 THERE'S THE PROOF! 426 00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:07,618 OK! OK! OK! YOU GOT ME! 427 00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,954 I DID IT! I DID IT! 428 00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:11,956 MY GOD! WHAT KIND OF A COP ARE YOU? 429 00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:13,624 I'M NOT A COP! 430 00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:16,460 I'M A PHYSICS PROFESSOR! 431 00:18:22,035 --> 00:18:24,635 OF COURSE, MY DAD DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. 432 00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:26,037 HE NEVER DID. 433 00:18:26,039 --> 00:18:29,507 AND HOW DID THAT MAKE YOU FEEL, CHET? 434 00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:30,941 ANGRY. 435 00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,643 WORTHLESS. 436 00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:37,248 OH. BUT YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT TRUE, NOW, DON'T YOU, CHET? 437 00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:38,749 YEAH. YEAH, I DO. 438 00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:40,117 ALL RIGHT! 439 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,151 [SIGHS] WELL... 440 00:18:41,153 --> 00:18:42,152 [DING] 441 00:18:42,154 --> 00:18:44,187 HAPPY HOUR'S OVER, CHET. 442 00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:45,923 BUT I THINK WE MADE SOME REAL PROGRESS. 443 00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:47,391 I FEEL BETTER. 444 00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:49,160 YEAH. AND JUST REMEMBER... 445 00:18:49,162 --> 00:18:50,661 DON'T STOP DRINKING. 446 00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:51,829 THANKS, HARRY. 447 00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:53,564 ALL RIGHT, BUDDY. 448 00:18:55,401 --> 00:18:57,534 LINE 'EM UP, HARRY. 449 00:18:57,536 --> 00:18:58,535 5 MARTINIS. 450 00:18:58,537 --> 00:18:59,670 NO, HARRY. 451 00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:02,406 DR. ALBRIGHT, WE SHOULD TAKE YOU HOME NOW. 452 00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:05,609 NO, NINA. I HAVE BRAIN CELLS THAT WILL REMEMBER THIS EVENING, 453 00:19:05,611 --> 00:19:08,312 AND I WANT THEM DESTROYED! 454 00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:10,481 HEY, DR. ALBRIGHT, HOW DID YOUR TALK GO? 455 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,617 HOW DID MY TALK GO? 456 00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:14,118 LET'S SEE. 457 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:15,620 FIRST OF ALL, 458 00:19:15,622 --> 00:19:17,622 THE BOLIVIANS WERE HIGHLY AMUSED 459 00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:19,289 WHEN I CONFUSED THE NAME OF THEIR PRESIDENT 460 00:19:19,291 --> 00:19:22,126 WITH THE WORD FOR KAYAK. 461 00:19:23,196 --> 00:19:25,362 BUT THEY STOPPED LAUGHING WHEN... 462 00:19:25,364 --> 00:19:29,133 IN THEIR NATIVE TONGUE, I WELCOMED THEM TO MY... 463 00:19:29,135 --> 00:19:33,404 WOMANY PLACE AND TOLD THEM... 464 00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:38,142 I TOLD THEM THERE WAS ROOM FOR EVERYONE! 465 00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:40,645 TELL HER HOW YOU TOLD THEM THAT THEIR COUNTRY WAS A... 466 00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:42,780 SHINING EXAMPLE OF GOAT DEATH. 467 00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:47,084 I HOPE THIS ISN'T IN ANY WAY MY FAULT. 468 00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:48,952 IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! 469 00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:51,188 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO CHECK THESE THINGS! 470 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,991 YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. I LET YOU DOWN COMPLETELY. 471 00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:56,561 YES, YOU DID! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? 472 00:19:56,563 --> 00:19:59,163 I HAVE NO EXCUSE. IT'S JUST--IT'S JUST... 473 00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:02,199 REALLY INTIMIDATING WHEN YOU WORK FOR... 474 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,334 FOR WHAT? 475 00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:05,202 SAY IT. 476 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,404 A BITCH?! 477 00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:10,174 NO. 478 00:20:10,176 --> 00:20:12,476 A GENIUS! 479 00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:23,053 WELL, THAT'S NICE, BUT... 480 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,287 I'M A PROFESSIONAL, 481 00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:26,757 AND I EXPECT OTHER PEOPLE TO BE PROFESSIONAL WITH ME. 482 00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:28,259 OF COURSE YOU DO. 483 00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:30,728 GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE? 484 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:33,731 I'VE LET DOWN THE BRIGHTEST WOMAN ALIVE! 485 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,366 OH, GOD! 486 00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:37,301 [SOBBING] 487 00:20:40,706 --> 00:20:42,072 OH, SALLY. 488 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,708 DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP. 489 00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:47,110 LET ME BUY YOU A DRINK. 490 00:20:47,112 --> 00:20:48,512 MARGARITA, ROCKS, NO SALT. 491 00:20:48,514 --> 00:20:49,947 HARRY! [DING] 492 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,854 AND SO, USING COULOMB'S THIRD LAW, 493 00:20:56,856 --> 00:20:58,588 I WAS ABLE TO PROVE THAT HE DID IT. 494 00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:00,057 WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH IT? 495 00:21:00,059 --> 00:21:01,358 NOTHING. 496 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:03,327 ALL I PROVED WAS THAT HE'S ROTATING AROUND THE SUN. 497 00:21:03,329 --> 00:21:05,162 BUT HE DIDN'T KNOW THAT. 498 00:21:05,164 --> 00:21:06,664 THAT'S THE WONDERFUL THING ABOUT PHYSICS. 499 00:21:06,666 --> 00:21:08,666 NOBODY UNDERSTANDS IT. 500 00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:12,003 SO YOU CAN USE YOUR KNOWLEDGE TO BULLY PEOPLE INTO SUBMISSION. 501 00:21:12,005 --> 00:21:13,604 WELL, THAT'S THE PLAN. 502 00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:15,606 AS LONG AS AMERICA'S EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM 503 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:17,174 REMAINS WOEFULLY INADEQUATE, 504 00:21:17,176 --> 00:21:18,675 I RULE. 505 00:21:18,677 --> 00:21:20,177 YES, YOU REALLY DO. 506 00:21:20,179 --> 00:21:21,746 WHAT YOU DO IS AMAZING. 507 00:21:21,748 --> 00:21:22,747 THANK YOU, SALLY. 508 00:21:22,749 --> 00:21:24,348 SOMETIMES I WISH YOU WERE DEAD 509 00:21:24,350 --> 00:21:27,184 SO THEY COULD PUT YOU ON A STAMP. 510 00:21:29,254 --> 00:21:31,788 SALLY, YOU'RE NOT KISSING MY BUTT, ARE YOU? 511 00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:34,258 A MAN OF YOUR STATURE? I WOULDN'T DARE. 512 00:21:34,260 --> 00:21:36,126 WELL, GOOD. HERE'S 20 BUCKS. 513 00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:37,928 THANKS. 514 00:21:37,930 --> 00:21:41,031 CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org-- 515 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:45,769 NOW THAT YOU'RE FEELING BETTER ABOUT YOUR CAREER AGAIN, 516 00:21:45,771 --> 00:21:47,638 DO I HAVE TO KEEP WORKING AT THE BAR? 517 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:48,772 OH, NO, HARRY. 518 00:21:48,774 --> 00:21:51,275 OH, GOOD. THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH PRESSURE. 519 00:21:51,277 --> 00:21:53,210 ALL THOSE PEOPLE AND THEIR PROBLEMS. 520 00:21:53,212 --> 00:21:54,911 NO. THERE'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE IN THE SODA GUN. 521 00:21:54,913 --> 00:21:56,012 YOU COULD PUT AN EYE OUT. 522 00:21:56,014 --> 00:22:00,717 WHY DO YOU THINK THEY CALL HIM ONE-EYED JIMMY? 523 00:22:00,719 --> 00:22:03,086 WAIT. HE LOST HIS EYE FROM SODA? 524 00:22:03,088 --> 00:22:04,655 YEAH. ROOT BEER. 525 00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:06,156 NO WONDER HE'S ANGRY. 526 00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:07,224 I WOULD BE. 527 00:22:07,226 --> 00:22:08,658 SO HOW WAS THE FIGHT? 528 00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:10,928 OH, SHORT. 39414

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