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1
00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:05,504
UH-HUH.
2
00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:07,038
YEAH. UH-HUH.
3
00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:09,274
R-REALLY?
THIS WEEKEND?
4
00:00:09,276 --> 00:00:11,610
WELL, I CAN'T
SAY NO TO YOU.
5
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:12,944
YOU'RE MARY'S MOTHER.
6
00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:14,613
YEAH, IT SOUNDS
WONDERFUL.
7
00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:16,948
NO, NO. MARY DIDN'T
TELL ME A THING.
8
00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:18,350
DIDN'T TELL WHO
WHAT THING?
9
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,051
YEAH, I'VE NOTICED
THAT ABOUT HER, TOO.
10
00:00:20,053 --> 00:00:21,586
IT'S OFF-PUTTING,
ISN'T IT?
11
00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:22,587
WHO'S THAT?
12
00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,255
IT SOUNDS TERRIFIC,
MARTHA.
13
00:00:24,257 --> 00:00:25,791
MARTHA.
MY MOTHER.
14
00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:27,226
YEAH.
OH, GOD, NO!
15
00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:29,294
YES, BEST TO YOU,
MARTHA.
16
00:00:29,296 --> 00:00:32,931
YEAH, RIGHT, RIGHT.
I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU
TO MEET ME.
17
00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:34,532
WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?!
18
00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:36,968
YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT
I WAS GONNA MEET YOUR
PARENTS THIS WEEKEND.
19
00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:38,269
YOU'RE NOT!
20
00:00:38,271 --> 00:00:40,538
WELL, THEY SAID THAT
YOU'D MADE THE PLANS.
21
00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:42,841
A--A MONTH AGO,
WHEN WE WERE ENGAGED.
22
00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:45,377
THAT WOULD BE 2 WEEKS
BEFORE YOU RUINED
EVERYTHING.
23
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,879
COME ON, MARY.
IT'LL BE FUN.
24
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:50,148
TELLING MY PARENTS
MY ENGAGEMENT IS OFF
25
00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:52,150
IS NOT MY IDEA
OF FUN.
26
00:00:52,152 --> 00:00:53,451
WHAT, YOU HAVEN'T
TOLD THEM YET?
27
00:00:53,453 --> 00:00:54,786
ARE YOU KIDDING?
28
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:57,288
FOR YEARS, THEY
PREDICTED I'D BECOME
AN OLD SPINSTER
29
00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:58,757
WHO SITS ALONE
EVERY NIGHT
30
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,759
DRINKING WINE
AND TALKING
TO HER CAT.
31
00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:02,093
DR. ALBRIGHT.
32
00:01:02,095 --> 00:01:05,430
DR. ALBRIGHT,
THEY WERE OUT OF THAT
ZINFANDEL YOU LIKE,
33
00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:07,633
BUT I DID PICK UP
YOUR DOG FOOD.
34
00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:09,368
I HAVE ONE DOG!
35
00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:12,704
MARY, PLEASE!
I WON'T SAY A WORD
ABOUT OUR BREAKUP.
36
00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:14,640
I CAN'T.
I'M STILL IN DENIAL.
37
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,910
DO YOU THINK I WANT
TO SPEND MY WEEKEND
38
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,245
PRETENDING TO BE
ENGAGED TO A LUNATIC
39
00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:23,515
RATHER THAN
TELL MY PARENTS
THE TRUTH?
40
00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:27,552
I'LL PICK YOU UP
IN THE MORNING.
41
00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:29,187
WE'RE JUST PRETENDING!
42
00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:31,756
IF YOU DARE
TO TRY AND TOUCH ME,
43
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:34,292
I WILL CHOKE
THE LIFE OUT OF YOU.
44
00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:36,761
WELL, WHAT IF I BUMP
INTO YOU ACCIDENTALLY?
45
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,229
FINE.
46
00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:39,364
IN THE SHOWER?
47
00:01:42,136 --> 00:01:45,837
BE IN YOUR DRIVEWAY
AT 8:00 TOMORROW.
48
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,505
TOMORROW?
YOU CAN'T GO AWAY.
49
00:01:47,507 --> 00:01:50,476
YOU PROMISED
YOU'D HELP ME MOVE OUT
OF MY APARTMENT.
50
00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:51,810
OH, I'M
SO SORRY, NINA.
51
00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:53,144
OH, THANKS A LOT.
52
00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:55,480
NOW I SEE WHO'S
IMPORTANT AROUND HERE.
53
00:01:55,482 --> 00:01:57,582
UH, YES,
THAT WOULD BE ME.
54
00:01:57,584 --> 00:01:59,584
OK. FINE.
BUT THE NEXT TIME
55
00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:02,421
YOU CAN'T SEPARATE
THE CHEESE SLICES
IN YOUR LUNCHABLES,
56
00:02:02,423 --> 00:02:04,022
DON'T COME
RUNNING TO ME.
57
00:02:06,226 --> 00:02:08,326
WHAT HAVE I DONE?!
58
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:49,234
TOMMY! HARRY! SALLY!
59
00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:51,837
WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF THIS JACKET?
60
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:53,838
MMM, IT'S A LITTLE
TWEEDY. WHOA!
61
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,941
BUT YOU WIN ME OVER
WITH THE PATCHES.
62
00:02:56,943 --> 00:02:58,110
OH.
63
00:02:58,112 --> 00:03:00,112
I'VE GOT TO MAKE
A GOOD IMPRESSION
64
00:03:00,114 --> 00:03:01,612
WHEN I MEET
MARY'S PARENTS.
65
00:03:01,614 --> 00:03:02,614
MARY ALBRIGHT'S
PARENTS?
66
00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:04,316
Tommy: THEY'RE
STILL ALIVE?
67
00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:05,851
MY GOD,
THEY MUST BE SO OLD.
68
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,919
PROBABLY HAD HER
REALLY YOUNG.
69
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:09,588
NOW STOP IT!
THIS IS IMPORTANT.
70
00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:11,622
I HAVE TO WIN THEIR
LOVE AND RESPECT.
71
00:03:11,624 --> 00:03:14,692
WHY? YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE
MARY'S LOVE AND RESPECT.
72
00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:15,927
NOT AT THE MOMENT,
73
00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:18,130
BUT I'M HOPING
THAT IF I WIN
HER PARENTS OVER,
74
00:03:18,132 --> 00:03:19,697
SHE'LL SEE ME
IN A NEW LIGHT
75
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,266
AND FALL IN LOVE
ALL OVER AGAIN.
76
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:22,567
DICK, THAT'S GENIUS!
77
00:03:22,569 --> 00:03:23,835
I DON'T KNOW.
78
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:26,605
I'D RATHER HAVE
A RED-HOT POKER
STUCK IN MY EYE
79
00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:28,874
THAN HANG OUT
WITH MY GIRLFRIEND'S
MOM AND DAD.
80
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:32,811
HEY, WHAT IF
HER PARENTS HAVE
A RED-HOT POKER
81
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:36,481
AND THEY SURPRISE YOU
BY STICKING IT
IN YOUR EYE?
82
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:39,984
NO.
83
00:03:39,986 --> 00:03:42,387
NO, I'M SURE THEY'RE
LOVELY PEOPLE.
84
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:44,423
AFTER ALL, THEY
MIXED AND POURED
85
00:03:44,425 --> 00:03:46,958
THE DNA COCKTAIL
THAT IS...
86
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,393
MARY ALBRIGHT.
87
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:51,996
STILL,
DICK, JUST TO BE SAFE,
WE SHOULD GO WITH YOU.
88
00:03:51,998 --> 00:03:53,265
OH, NO, NO.
89
00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:55,433
I'VE GOT A MUCH MORE
IMPORTANT ASSIGNMENT
FOR YOU.
90
00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:57,101
CLEANING UP
OUR PARKS AND STREAMS?
91
00:03:57,103 --> 00:03:58,102
NO. NINA'S MOVING,
92
00:03:58,104 --> 00:04:00,205
AND I VOLUNTEERED
YOU TO HELP HER.
93
00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:02,874
WAIT. YOU MEAN WE HAVE TO
LUG HEAVY BOXES ALL WEEKEND?
94
00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:03,875
YES.
95
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:06,577
WELL, DO WE GET TO GO
THROUGH HER STUFF?
96
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:07,845
HOW COULD YOU NOT?
97
00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:09,114
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
98
00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:17,188
WELL, WHAT
DO YOU THINK?
99
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:18,823
DOES MARY
LOOK MORE LIKE
ME OR GEORGE?
100
00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:20,492
WELL, MARTHA,
I DID NOTICE
101
00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:23,361
THAT YOU AND MARY
HAVE THE SAME
PATRICIAN NOSE.
102
00:04:23,363 --> 00:04:24,862
WHOA.
103
00:04:24,864 --> 00:04:27,532
I THINK SHE DOES
FAVOR MARTHA'S SIDE
OF THE FAMILY
104
00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:28,799
MORE THAN MINE.
105
00:04:28,801 --> 00:04:31,570
BUT AT LEAST
SHE GOT HER FATHER'S
GENEROUS BUTT.
106
00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:39,177
MARY, THAT
EYE SHADOW
107
00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:40,512
MAKES YOU
LOOK TIRED.
108
00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:42,280
THANK YOU, MOTHER.
109
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,650
JUST TRYING
TO HELP.
110
00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:46,117
MARTHA, DARLING,
111
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,586
WHY DON'T YOU
RUN AND GET THE KIDS
THOSE SANDWICHES?
112
00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:51,189
WELL, YES,
OF COURSE, GEORGE.
113
00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:54,993
I'LL RUN AND
GET THE KIDS
THOSE SANDWICHES.
114
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:58,830
I KEEP FORGETTING
YOU WERE PARALYZED
IN THE WAR.
115
00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:04,869
I REALLY SHOULD
GO AND HELP HER.
116
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:09,140
I WOULDN'T WANT HER
TO SLIP AND FALL
INTO A BOTTLE OF GIN.
117
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:11,876
THEY'RE VERY NICE.
118
00:05:11,878 --> 00:05:13,411
NO, THEY'RE NOT.
119
00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:14,746
THEY'RE SOUR,
MISERABLE PEOPLE
120
00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:16,080
WHO DON'T
LIKE ANYBODY.
121
00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:17,749
OH, I SHOULD HAVE
BROUGHT FLOWERS.
122
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:19,383
DO THEY LIKE FLOWERS?
I CAN GET FLOWERS.
123
00:05:19,385 --> 00:05:20,618
STOP WORRYING.
124
00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:22,554
THIS TIME TOMORROW,
WE'LL BE
ON OUR WAY HOME,
125
00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:23,888
AND YOU'LL NEVER
SEE THEM AGAIN.
126
00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:25,389
I WOULDN'T BET ON IT.
127
00:05:25,391 --> 00:05:28,093
WHAT'S THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
128
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,563
I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT YOU, DICK,
129
00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:33,831
BUT WHEN I EAT HAM,
I GOTTA HAVE A BEER.
130
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:36,101
OH, AND
WHEN I DRINK BEER,
I GOTTA HAVE HAM.
131
00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:38,303
HAM AND BEER.
THAT'S US, GEORGE.
132
00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:49,447
ARE YOU DONE YET?
133
00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:51,549
YEP, SNUG AS A BUG.
134
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:01,526
OK, I THINK
I MISSED A SPOT.
135
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:03,628
GUYS, COULD YOU
PLEASE BE CAREFUL?
136
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:04,829
YES, ABSOLUTELY.
137
00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:05,963
STARTING NOW.
138
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:09,934
NINA, THIS PLACE
IS SO GREAT.
139
00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:12,303
I MEAN, IT'S
SO NICE AND CLEAN.
140
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:15,207
WELL, IT'S EASY
TO KEEP THINGS NEAT
WHEN YOU LIVE ALONE.
141
00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:16,875
THE SMELL,
IT SMELLS LIKE...
142
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:17,876
[INHALES DEEPLY]
143
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,543
LIKE A MALL OR...
144
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:21,412
OR THE BAKERY OR...
145
00:06:21,414 --> 00:06:24,382
MY HOUSE SMELLS LIKE
FEET OR CHEESE OR
146
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,783
ROTTEN FOOD--
147
00:06:25,785 --> 00:06:27,385
I--I GET IT.
SALLY, I GET IT.
148
00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:33,491
OH, MARTHA, THIS IS
THE MOST DELICIOUS,
149
00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:36,294
EXQUISITELY FLAVORED,
PALATE-TEASING DISH
I'VE EVER TASTED.
150
00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:38,029
WHAT DO YOU
CALL IT AGAIN?
151
00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:39,831
BUSY GAL'S LASAGNA.
152
00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:43,501
I MUST GET THE RECIPE.
153
00:06:43,503 --> 00:06:45,703
IT'S NOODLES
WITH KETCHUP ON 'EM.
154
00:06:47,273 --> 00:06:49,073
GEORGE...
155
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,441
SHUT UP.
156
00:06:50,443 --> 00:06:52,744
DON'T GIVE AWAY
HER RECIPES, GEORGE.
157
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,745
THANK YOU, DICK.
158
00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:56,614
NOW, MARY,
HOW ABOUT IT? MORE?
159
00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:58,449
UH, NO, MOTHER,
I HAVE ENOUGH.
160
00:06:58,451 --> 00:06:59,718
SHE'S ON ANOTHER ONE
OF THOSE
161
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,686
CRAZY CRASH DIETS,
RIGHT, DICK?
162
00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:04,021
WELL, NO, I JUST
DON'T THINK SHE LIKES
YOUR LASAGNA
163
00:07:04,023 --> 00:07:05,356
AS MUCH AS I DO,
MARTHA.
164
00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:06,558
YES, I DO,
165
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,560
AND I'M NOT
ON A DIET.
166
00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:10,562
I'M HAPPY
THE WAY I AM.
167
00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:13,564
WELL, THERE COMES A POINT
WHEN YOU JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT
168
00:07:13,566 --> 00:07:15,333
WHAT THE GOOD LORD
HAS GIVEN YOU.
169
00:07:16,402 --> 00:07:18,903
LORD KNOWS I HAVE.
170
00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:23,374
COME ON, DICK.
I'LL SWEETEN UP
YOUR DRINK.
171
00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:25,376
MMM. RIGHT. RIGHT.
172
00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:27,445
GEORGE, I'M
RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
173
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:30,748
WELL, MARY...
174
00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:33,751
YOUR DADDY AND I
ARE JUST TICKLED PINK
175
00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:36,053
THAT DICK IS THE ONE.
176
00:07:36,055 --> 00:07:37,122
THE ONE WHAT?
177
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:39,991
OH, MARY MARGARET,
178
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:42,927
YOU KNOW VERY WELL
THE ONE WHAT.
179
00:07:42,929 --> 00:07:43,928
MR. RIGHT.
180
00:07:43,930 --> 00:07:45,930
THE MAN YOU'RE
GOING TO MARRY.
181
00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:47,699
OH. YEAH.
182
00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:50,001
THAT'S THE PLAN.
183
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:51,769
I'M JUST ECSTATIC.
184
00:07:51,771 --> 00:07:54,372
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE
NOT A LITTLE MORE EXCITED.
185
00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:56,241
OH, I AM, MOTHER.
186
00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:59,677
SOMETIMES I GET
SO GIDDY I CAN HARDLY
CONTAIN MYSELF.
187
00:08:01,714 --> 00:08:05,650
BUT YOU KNOW, YOU CAN
ONLY SCREAM SO LONG
BEFORE YOU BLACK OUT!
188
00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:19,798
I'M NINA.
189
00:08:21,601 --> 00:08:24,335
AND I'M SPECIAL
BECAUSE I'M MOVING.
190
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:25,669
I'M SALLY.
191
00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:27,338
I THINK I AM SO GREAT.
192
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:30,008
WHOA, YOUR HAIR
LOOKS REALLY GOOD
TODAY, GIRLFRIEND.
193
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:33,778
OH, SHUT UP. NO,
IT DOESN'T. LET'S GO LOOK
AT SOME MAGAZINE...
194
00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:41,052
WELL, UH,
THAT'S ALL THE UNDERWEAR.
195
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:43,388
LET'S GET IT
DOWN TO THE TRUCK.
196
00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:44,322
OK.
197
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:51,962
GOD, I'M GONNA
MISS THIS PLACE.
198
00:08:51,964 --> 00:08:53,631
YEAH.
WHY ARE YOU MOVING,
199
00:08:53,633 --> 00:08:54,599
BIG-ASS RATS?
200
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:58,035
NO. THEY
RAISED THE RENT.
201
00:08:58,037 --> 00:08:59,371
OH. THAT'S TOO BAD.
202
00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:01,038
IT'S SO BIG AND BRIGHT.
203
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:02,707
MY ROOM ONLY
HAS ONE WINDOW,
204
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,642
AND IT LOOKS OUT
ON THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE,
205
00:09:04,644 --> 00:09:06,644
AND SOMETIMES
A BROWN MIST FLOATS IN
206
00:09:06,646 --> 00:09:08,646
AND MAKES MY HAIR
ALL GREASY.
207
00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:12,083
IF I'D HAVE KNOWN THAT,
YOU COULD'VE MOVED
IN HERE WITH ME.
208
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:13,484
US?
209
00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:14,485
ROOMMATES?
210
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:16,487
JUST YOU AND ME,
NO GUYS?
211
00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:19,490
YEAH. BUT IT'S TOO LATE
FOR THAT, I GUESS.
212
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:21,392
NO!
NO, IT'S NOT.
213
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,460
FINALLY,
THE LAST BOX.
214
00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:23,728
MY BACK
IS KILLING ME.
215
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,229
OH. Y-YOU GOTTA
KEEP IT LOOSE.
216
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,665
HEY, YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU DO?
217
00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:28,667
YOU GO DOWN, YOU GET
ALL OF NINA'S STUFF
OFF THE TRUCK,
218
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:30,335
AND THEN YOU GO
BACK TO OUR PLACE,
219
00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:32,003
GET MY STUFF, AND
BRING IT BACK HERE.
220
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,672
BOY. YOU REALLY
THINK IT'LL WORK?
221
00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:35,206
WELL, I'M WILLING
TO GIVE IT A SHOT.
222
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:36,775
ACTUALLY,
MY BACK FEELS FINE.
223
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:38,275
OH, GET MOVING!
COME ON.
224
00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:41,546
I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING, DICK.
225
00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:44,915
THIS IS ONE BAR
I'LL NEVER GET
THROWN OUT OF.
226
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:47,552
OH, DICK,
I'LL SHOW YOU WHERE
THE LINENS ARE
227
00:09:47,554 --> 00:09:49,554
SO YOU CAN
MAKE UP THE COUCH.
228
00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:50,555
THE COUCH?
229
00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:53,491
OH, NOW, PUNKIN,
230
00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:56,094
IT'S PERFECTLY OK
WITH DADDY AND ME
231
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,929
IF YOU AND DICK
SHARE THE SAME ROOM.
232
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,263
NO! NO, I-IT'S NOT.
233
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,432
I KNOW HOW UNCOMFORTABLE
IT MAKES YOU FEEL.
234
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,700
REALLY?
235
00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:05,236
NEVER STOPPED YOU
BEFORE.
236
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:06,805
OH, BUT, MOM, I--
237
00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:07,806
REALLY, PRINCESS,
238
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:09,474
NO, IT'S FINE WITH US.
239
00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:12,076
ABOUT TIME THIS HOUSE
SAW SOME ACTION.
240
00:10:12,078 --> 00:10:13,077
NO, DAD, REALLY,
I--I--
241
00:10:13,079 --> 00:10:14,411
SAY NO MORE, GEORGE!
242
00:10:14,413 --> 00:10:16,948
IT'S SETTLED.
MARY AND I WILL
SHARE A ROOM.
243
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,082
DONE DEAL.
244
00:10:18,084 --> 00:10:20,251
NOW LET'S GO OUTSIDE
AND SMOKE THESE THINGS.
245
00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:22,286
I'VE GOT SOME
FUNNY STORIES
ABOUT MARY.
246
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,288
OH HO HO HO HO HO!
247
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,223
ME, TOO.
248
00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:31,963
OH, I CANNOT WAIT
TO MOVE OUT ON MY OWN.
249
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,464
IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL.
250
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:37,035
IT'S JUST THAT YOU GUYS
ARE REALLY, REALLY
ANNOYING, YOU KNOW?
251
00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:38,036
YEAH. ENOUGH SAID.
252
00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:40,371
SALLY, WE'RE ALL
VERY HAPPY FOR YOU,
253
00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:43,741
AND I KNOW THAT
THERE ARE GONNA BE
SOME GOOD TIMES,
254
00:10:43,743 --> 00:10:46,411
BUT THERE WILL ALSO BE
SOME LONELY ONES, AND SO...
255
00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:48,779
I WANT YOU
TO HAVE MY GNOME.
256
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:52,783
NO, HARRY, YOU SEE,
257
00:10:52,785 --> 00:10:56,020
I'M MOVING TO GET
AWAY FROM YOUR CRAP.
258
00:10:56,022 --> 00:10:59,591
OK! I GOT MY GNOME BACK.
259
00:10:59,593 --> 00:11:01,026
YOU KNOW, DICK
WOULD NEVER GIVE YOU
260
00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:02,560
PERMISSION
TO DO THIS.
261
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:05,630
YEAH. THAT'S WHY
I'M DOING IT WHILE
HE'S OUT OF TOWN.
262
00:11:06,699 --> 00:11:08,366
WELL,
ON THE PLUS SIDE,
263
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:11,369
AT LEAST WE CAN
TURN SALLY'S ROOM
INTO A STORAGE AREA.
264
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:13,872
WELL, WAIT A MINUTE.
I DON'T HAVE A ROOM.
265
00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:15,840
OR MAYBE A COOL
LITTLE MUSIC ROOM
266
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,475
WITH SOME
BLACK-LIGHT POSTERS.
267
00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:21,111
HELLO. MAN WITHOUT
A BEDROOM HERE.
268
00:11:21,113 --> 00:11:23,748
YOU KNOW WHAT'D
BE EVEN BETTER?
269
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:25,282
A SKEEBALL PARLOR.
270
00:11:25,284 --> 00:11:26,984
SKEEBALL?
271
00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:28,085
IN OUR HOME?
272
00:11:28,087 --> 00:11:29,086
YES!
273
00:11:29,088 --> 00:11:30,355
YEAH!
274
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:35,059
NOW HERE'S LITTLE MARY'S
SIXTH BIRTHDAY PARTY.
275
00:11:35,061 --> 00:11:37,061
OH, YOU
GOT HER A PONY.
276
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:39,930
NO. THAT'S MARY.
277
00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:45,603
HER UNCLE NEIL
GOT HER A BROWN
LEDERHOSEN.
278
00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:48,372
ALL THE WAY FROM MUNICH.
279
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:49,374
GERMANY.
280
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:52,343
OH, LITTLE MARY'S
CRYING.
281
00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:55,012
SHE DIDN'T
WANT TO SHARE
A SHEET CAKE
282
00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:57,848
WITH THE OTHER KIDS.
283
00:11:57,850 --> 00:12:00,151
OH, HERE'S
THE BIG SPELLING BEE.
284
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:01,986
MARY'S WORD
IS "BECAUSE."
285
00:12:01,988 --> 00:12:03,454
WATCH HER SWEAT.
286
00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:04,756
[MARTHA LAUGHS]
287
00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:05,757
George: "B"
288
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:06,757
"E"
289
00:12:06,759 --> 00:12:07,826
"C"
290
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:08,826
"A"
291
00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:10,394
"W"!
292
00:12:15,001 --> 00:12:17,468
AH! MAGPIE.
293
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:19,904
WHY'D YOU MISS
SUCH AN EASY WORD?
294
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,340
BECAUSE.
295
00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:24,608
SHE CAN SAY IT.
SHE JUST CAN'T
SPELL IT.
296
00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:29,613
YOU'RE A HOOT
AND A HALF, SON.
297
00:12:29,615 --> 00:12:30,882
THANK YOU, DADDY.
298
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,487
DICK, CAN I SEE YOU
IN THE BEDROOM?
299
00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:38,456
OH, COMING, MAGPIE.
300
00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:40,090
OH, YEAH.
301
00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:46,563
WONDERFUL.
HE CALLED ME SON.
302
00:12:46,565 --> 00:12:47,899
MY PLAN IS WORKING.
303
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:50,234
YOUR PLAN
TO PISS ME OFF?
304
00:12:50,236 --> 00:12:53,271
NO. MY PLAN
TO WIN THEIR HEARTS
AND THEN YOURS.
305
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:56,741
OH, SO BY JOINING
IN MY PARENTS'
PSYCHO MIND GAMES
306
00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:58,676
AND MOCKING
MY FAT CHILDHOOD,
307
00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:00,678
YOU THOUGHT
I'D LOVE YOU AGAIN?
308
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:02,446
PSYCHO MIND GAMES?
I--WH--
309
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:05,316
LET ME TELL YOU
ABOUT MY WONDERFUL
PARENTS.
310
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:07,218
IN 1961, MY FATHER
311
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:09,220
HAD AN AFFAIR
WITH A STEWARDESS.
312
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:10,221
WELL...
313
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:11,823
YOU MEAN
A FLIGHT ATTENDANT.
314
00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:15,193
NO.
315
00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:17,195
A STEWARDESS.
316
00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:19,997
THAT DESPICABLE DOG!
317
00:13:19,999 --> 00:13:21,766
MY MOTHER
FOUND THEM TOGETHER,
318
00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:23,434
AND SHE WAS
SO WONDERFUL,
319
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:25,670
SHE DUMPED IT
ALL ON ME.
320
00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:26,871
ME, DICK,
321
00:13:26,873 --> 00:13:28,373
A LITTLE GIRL.
322
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:31,409
OH, MARY,
WHAT AN AWFUL PICTURE--
323
00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:34,278
A BITTER OLD DRUNK
DESCRIBING SOME
TAWDRY AFFAIR
324
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,847
WHILE SPOON-FEEDING YOU
STRAINED BANANAS
325
00:13:36,849 --> 00:13:39,683
AS YOU SIT IN YOUR
LITTLE HIGHCHAIR.
326
00:13:39,685 --> 00:13:41,319
WELL, I WAS 9.
327
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:44,322
AND YOU WERE STILL
EATING BABY FOOD?
MY POOR MARY.
328
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,656
OH, DICK, THE WHOLE--
329
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,325
THE WHOLE THING
TORE ME APART.
330
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,026
I FELT IT
WAS MY FAULT.
331
00:13:49,028 --> 00:13:50,361
IT WAS THEIR FAULT, MARY!
332
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:51,628
I FELT SO ALONE.
333
00:13:51,630 --> 00:13:53,564
YOU'RE NOT ALONE, MARY,
NOT ANYMORE!
334
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:58,936
AND TO THINK
I HAD MY HAND
IN THAT MAN'S HUMIDOR!
335
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:07,612
OHH!
336
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:09,714
HARRY, YOU GOTTA
HELP ME WITH THIS ONE.
337
00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:11,782
IT'S FULL OF BOOKS
AND ROCKS AND STUFF.
338
00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:13,117
IT WEIGHS A TON.
339
00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:15,686
STEP ASIDE, JUNIOR.
340
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:18,622
TIME TO CLEAN AND JERK.
341
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,060
1, 2, 3.
342
00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:32,270
IT WAS EMPTY.
343
00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:36,073
NO.
344
00:14:36,075 --> 00:14:38,342
I'M THE STRONGEST MAN
IN THE WORLD.
345
00:14:40,112 --> 00:14:42,713
OOH, THIS IS GOING
TO BE SO MUCH FUN.
346
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:43,714
I KNOW.
347
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,816
SO WHAT DO YOU WANT
TO DO TONIGHT?
348
00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:46,851
UH, I DON'T KNOW.
349
00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:49,987
UM, MAKE STIR-FRY AND
RENT A CHICK FLICK?
350
00:14:49,989 --> 00:14:52,323
YEAH, LIKE
FULL METAL JACKET.
351
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:54,725
OR BOYS ON THE SIDE.
352
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,694
RIGHT, RIGHT.
BOYS ON THE SIDE.
353
00:14:56,696 --> 00:14:58,896
OR FULL METAL JACKET!
354
00:15:07,206 --> 00:15:10,207
I'LL GIVE YOU
THE SECRET TO A GREAT
BLOODY MARY, DICK.
355
00:15:10,209 --> 00:15:11,442
HORSERADISH.
356
00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:14,512
IT'S NOT THE HORSERADISH,
GEORGIE.
357
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:17,314
IT'S THE VODKA.
358
00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:19,316
YOU KNOW,
GETTING THIS HOT TUB
359
00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:21,251
WAS THE SMARTEST THING
I'VE EVER DONE.
360
00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:22,720
OH, REALLY?
361
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:24,722
AND WHAT WOULD
THE STUPIDEST,
362
00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:27,257
MOST LOATHSOME,
AND HURTFUL THING BE?
363
00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:31,061
NOT GETTING
THE FLOATING
THERMOMETER.
364
00:15:31,063 --> 00:15:33,063
CAN I GET YOU
ANYTHING, DICK?
365
00:15:33,065 --> 00:15:34,732
A DRINK?
MAYBE SOME COFFEE?
366
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:36,233
TEA. OR MAYBE ME.
367
00:15:36,235 --> 00:15:39,737
IS THAT WHAT
THE LITTLE FLYING STRUMPET
SAID TO ENTICE YOU?
368
00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:42,439
IS ONE SLEAZY PICKUP LINE
ALL IT TAKES
369
00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:43,941
TO DESTROY A FAMILY?!
370
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,776
MARY!
371
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,778
FOR GOD'S SAKES.
372
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,513
YOU TOLD HIM?
373
00:15:49,515 --> 00:15:51,115
I COULDN'T STAND IT
ANYMORE.
374
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:52,116
MARTHA.
375
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:55,019
YOU TOLD OUR DAUGHTER
ABOUT MY--MY--MY--
376
00:15:55,021 --> 00:15:56,521
THAT'S RIGHT!
377
00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:58,022
YOUR LITTLE FLING.
378
00:15:58,024 --> 00:16:01,025
YOU-HOO-HOO BET
I TOLD HER.
379
00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:04,194
SO SHE COULD PLAY
THE MARTYR FOR 36 YEARS.
380
00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:05,429
HOW DO YOU THINK
I FELT?
381
00:16:05,431 --> 00:16:06,930
ALONE AND SCARED,
382
00:16:06,932 --> 00:16:09,566
A SHEET CAKE
HER ONLY SOLACE.
383
00:16:09,568 --> 00:16:12,036
SHE DROVE ME TO IT,
PRINCESS.
384
00:16:12,038 --> 00:16:14,038
ALL RIGHT!
MAYBE I DID.
385
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,540
BUT I WAS TOO FAT,
386
00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:19,043
AND I HATED MY BODY,
387
00:16:19,045 --> 00:16:22,279
AND THOSE DAMN DIET PILLS
MADE ME CRAZY.
388
00:16:22,281 --> 00:16:23,781
YOU TOOK DIET PILLS?
389
00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:25,783
OUR FAMILY DOCTOR
PRESCRIBED THEM.
390
00:16:25,785 --> 00:16:29,286
FOR GOD'S SAKES,
IT WAS THE SIXTIES!
391
00:16:29,288 --> 00:16:33,057
SHE WENT TO DR. POWELL
FOR MORE THAN JUST PILLS.
392
00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:34,058
[GASPS]
393
00:16:34,060 --> 00:16:38,095
DR. POWELL?!
HE HAD HAIR IN HIS EARS.
394
00:16:38,097 --> 00:16:41,065
SHE WENT
TO DR. POWELL,
WHO WAS HER COUSIN.
395
00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:42,500
HE WAS MY STEP-COUSIN!
396
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,235
HE WAS MY
GOLF PARTNER!
397
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:45,702
HE WAS A MAN!
398
00:16:45,704 --> 00:16:47,204
ENOUGH!
399
00:16:47,206 --> 00:16:49,206
YOU TWO LIE TO EACH OTHER
400
00:16:49,208 --> 00:16:50,707
AND CHEAT ON EACH OTHER,
401
00:16:50,709 --> 00:16:52,709
AND I'M STUCK IN THE MIDDLE.
402
00:16:52,711 --> 00:16:54,711
YOU'VE MADE MY LIFE
MISERABLE.
403
00:16:54,713 --> 00:16:57,614
WHY THE HELL
DID THE TWO OF YOU
STAY MARRIED?
404
00:16:57,616 --> 00:17:02,019
[THROUGH CLENCHED TEETH]
TO TRY TO GIVE YOU
A HAPPY HOME.
405
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,520
OH, MY GOD!
406
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:06,023
LOOK AT THE TWO OF YOU!
407
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,159
HAVE YOU NO SHAME?
408
00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:22,540
UM, SALLY,
I KNOW YOU JUST GOT HERE,
409
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,274
BUT YOU LEFT YOUR SOCKS--
410
00:17:24,276 --> 00:17:25,275
SHH. HONEY...
411
00:17:25,277 --> 00:17:26,711
IT'S SHARK WEEK.
412
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:29,646
YOU WANT ME
TO HELP YOU
413
00:17:29,648 --> 00:17:31,048
MOVE THAT FUTON
INTO YOUR ROOM?
414
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,049
MY ROOM?
415
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,518
YEAH. THE ROOM
DOWN THE HALL.
416
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:36,153
OH, NO.
I LIKE THIS ROOM.
417
00:17:36,155 --> 00:17:38,155
THIS IS THE LIVING ROOM.
418
00:17:38,157 --> 00:17:40,157
YEAH, AND I'M
GONNA LIVE IN IT.
419
00:17:40,159 --> 00:17:43,094
YOU GOT TO PICK
YOUR ROOM, I GET
TO PICK MINE.
420
00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:44,561
NO WAY.
421
00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:47,030
LOOK, I DIDN'T
COMPLAIN WHEN YOU
FINISHED MY MILK.
422
00:17:47,032 --> 00:17:49,833
YOUR MILK?
YOU JUST WROTE "SALLY"
ON MY MILK.
423
00:17:49,835 --> 00:17:51,835
SO THAT'S HOW
IT'S GONNA BE, HUH?
424
00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:54,338
WELL, AS LONG AS
WE'RE BEING HONEST
WITH EACH OTHER,
425
00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:56,874
I DON'T LIKE
HOW YOU LEAVE
THE TOILET SEAT DOWN.
426
00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:59,409
THAT'S THE WAY
WOMEN USE IT.
427
00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:01,645
YEAH, SURE, NINA.
428
00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:04,014
THAT'S THE WAY
WOMEN USE IT.
429
00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:05,515
LOOK, YOU KNOW,
BEING YOUR ROOMMATE
430
00:18:05,517 --> 00:18:07,551
IS NOT AS MUCH FUN
AS IT USED TO BE.
431
00:18:07,553 --> 00:18:09,653
YOU'VE ONLY BEEN HERE
AN HOUR AND A HALF.
432
00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:11,822
YEAH, AND IT'S
AN HOUR AND A HALF
TOO LONG.
433
00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:13,824
ALL RIGHT, THIS IS IT.
434
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:15,492
THE LAST BOX OF SHOES.
435
00:18:15,494 --> 00:18:17,494
WELL...
LOAD IT UP, BOYS,
436
00:18:17,496 --> 00:18:19,530
'CAUSE I'M MOVIN' OUT!
437
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:22,366
NO.
438
00:18:22,368 --> 00:18:24,368
ABSOLUTELY NOT!
439
00:18:26,872 --> 00:18:28,972
SALLY, FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN MY LIFE--
440
00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:30,374
DO IT, OR I'LL KILL YOU.
441
00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:31,309
OK.
442
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:39,016
YOU KNOW...
443
00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:40,517
THIS WEEKEND
444
00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:43,955
HAS BEEN
MORE CATHARTIC FOR ME
445
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:46,924
THAN THE ENTIRE TIME
I SPENT IN REHAB.
446
00:18:49,495 --> 00:18:51,161
REHAB?
447
00:18:53,232 --> 00:18:54,731
1982.
448
00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:56,233
I KNOW.
449
00:18:56,235 --> 00:18:59,636
I SAID I WAS VISITING
YOUR AUNT DEE DEE.
450
00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:01,505
OK, MARY,
EVERYTHING'S PACKED.
451
00:19:01,507 --> 00:19:03,473
CHOP-CHOP, GOTTA GO.
452
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:04,574
DICK...
453
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:08,012
I THINK WE SHOULD STAY.
454
00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:09,179
WHAT?
455
00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:10,848
MY PARENTS AND I
HAVE BEEN TALKING
456
00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:12,349
SINCE THE LITTLE BLOWUP
IN THE HOT TUB,
457
00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:13,951
AND I THINK WE'VE MADE
SOME PROGRESS.
458
00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:16,453
PROGRESS?
ARE THEY GETTING
A DIVORCE?
459
00:19:16,455 --> 00:19:17,921
DIVORCE?
460
00:19:17,923 --> 00:19:19,757
THEY'VE BEEN MARRIED
FOR 46 YEARS.
461
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:22,993
YES, BUT 46
HORRIBLE YEARS.
462
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,995
I'M SURE THEY'VE HAD
THEIR UPS AND DOWNS,
463
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,464
BUT IT'S
ONLY MADE THEM STRONGER.
THAT'S WHAT MARRIAGE IS.
464
00:19:27,466 --> 00:19:29,533
OH, MY GOD,
THEY'VE BRAINWASHED YOU.
465
00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:31,201
NOW YOU'RE ONE OF THEM.
466
00:19:31,203 --> 00:19:33,203
DICK, I WANT TO THANK YOU
467
00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:35,706
FOR BRINGING EVERYTHING
OUT IN THE OPEN.
468
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:38,709
I FEEL LIKE
A TREMENDOUS WEIGHT'S BEEN
LIFTED FROM THIS FAMILY.
469
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:40,210
I WANT TO TELL YOU TWO
SOMETHING.
470
00:19:40,212 --> 00:19:42,246
THERE'S NOTHING
MORE EXHILARATING
THAN HONESTY.
471
00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:43,247
OH!
472
00:19:43,249 --> 00:19:46,250
OH! SO HONESTY'S
YOUR GAME, IS IT?
473
00:19:46,252 --> 00:19:47,818
YEAH, I'LL GIVE YOU HONESTY.
474
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:49,319
YOUR PRECIOUS LITTLE
475
00:19:49,321 --> 00:19:51,788
MARY MARGARET
RAGAMUFFIN MAGPIE
HAS BEEN LYING TO YOU!
476
00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:53,290
SHE DIDN'T EVEN
WANT TO COME HERE
477
00:19:53,292 --> 00:19:55,059
BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T
WANT TO TELL YOU THAT--
478
00:19:56,161 --> 00:19:58,428
OUR ENGAGEMENT IS OFF!
WE'RE THROUGH!
479
00:19:58,430 --> 00:20:00,564
BUT THAT'S OK,
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT
TO MARRY HER ANYWAY.
480
00:20:00,566 --> 00:20:02,866
I DON'T WANT
TO MARRY ANYONE--
NOT AFTER MEETING YOU.
481
00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:05,569
IF THIS MARRIAGE
WAS A HORSE,
YOU'D SHOOT IT!
482
00:20:10,509 --> 00:20:12,376
DICK, WE FORGIVE YOU.
483
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:13,377
FORGIVE ME?
484
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:15,012
WOULD YOU LIKE
SOME COCOA?
485
00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:18,015
I DON'T WANT ANY COCOA.
I DON'T WANT ANYTHING.
486
00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:20,017
I JUST WANT TO
CLIMB INTO A SPACESHIP
487
00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:22,086
AND FLY TO
A FAR-OFF GALAXY,
488
00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:26,090
MILLIONS OF LIGHT-YEARS AWAY
FROM THIS TWISTED
AND SADISTIC
489
00:20:26,092 --> 00:20:28,292
HUMAN FREAK SHOW!
490
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,929
HE'S THE ONE.
HE'S THE ONE.
491
00:20:36,835 --> 00:20:38,902
SO HOW DID
THE MOVE GO?
492
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:41,838
WELL, THE FIRST ONE
WENT PRETTY SMOOTH,
493
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,341
BUT THE SECOND ONE
WAS A BITCH.
494
00:20:44,343 --> 00:20:47,844
WE HAD A GOOD RHYTHM
GOING FOR THE THIRD MOVE,
495
00:20:47,846 --> 00:20:50,414
BUT THE FOURTH
AND FIFTH MOVES
WERE JUST HELL.
496
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:51,582
WUSSIES.
497
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:54,084
YOU KNOW, I REALLY
DODGED A BULLET
TODAY, DICK.
498
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:57,087
TO THINK
I WAS THIS CLOSE
TO MOVING IN WITH NINA.
499
00:20:57,089 --> 00:21:00,157
HAH. SHE'S NOT NEARLY
SOPHISTICATED ENOUGH
FOR ME.
500
00:21:00,159 --> 00:21:02,159
I DODGED A BULLET, TOO.
501
00:21:02,161 --> 00:21:05,662
I THOUGHT MARRIAGE
WAS A BEAUTIFUL UNION
OF 2 SOULS.
502
00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:10,167
IT TURNS OUT
IT'S A HOT, BUBBLING,
CHLORINATED SEA OF LIES,
503
00:21:10,169 --> 00:21:14,037
BETRAYALS, AND ADDICTIONS,
AND I DON'T WANT
TO GO THERE.
504
00:21:14,039 --> 00:21:16,206
WELL, I'LL GO.
THAT SOUNDS RELAXING.
505
00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:19,209
NO. FROM NOW ON,
WE'RE FOOTLOOSE
AND FANCY-FREE.
506
00:21:19,211 --> 00:21:20,711
FROM THIS DAY FORWARD,
507
00:21:20,713 --> 00:21:23,513
PEOPLE WILL REFER TO ME
AS A LIFELONG BACHELOR.
508
00:21:23,515 --> 00:21:26,016
YOU'RE NOT GONNA
START WEARING
PASTEL CARDIGANS
509
00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:28,485
AND OPEN UP
AN ANTIQUE STORE,
ARE YOU?
510
00:21:28,487 --> 00:21:31,222
WHATEVER GETS ME THE LADIES.
511
00:21:32,358 --> 00:21:35,259
YEAH, DICK,
YOU'LL DO GREAT.
512
00:21:35,261 --> 00:21:38,195
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
--www.ncicap.org--
513
00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:46,136
GEORGE, THERE'S SOMETHING
I HAVE TO TELL YOU.
514
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:48,505
I'M LISTENING.
515
00:21:48,507 --> 00:21:50,874
YOU'RE NOT MARY'S FATHER.
516
00:21:54,947 --> 00:21:58,449
I'VE SUSPECTED THAT
FOR A LONG TIME, MARTHA.
517
00:21:58,451 --> 00:22:00,550
DOES SHE KNOW?
518
00:22:00,552 --> 00:22:02,052
OH, DON'T BE SILLY.
519
00:22:02,054 --> 00:22:03,220
OF COURSE NOT.
520
00:22:03,222 --> 00:22:04,755
GOOD.
521
00:22:06,025 --> 00:22:07,958
NEXT TIME THEY VISIT.
38768
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