Original subtitles

Too short!

Harry.

Too short.

Harry.

Too short.

Yeah, bu-- bu-- but everybody said short would be in.

Too short.

Short is short, but that's ridiculous.

Parade it around a little bit, baby.

We can lengthen. We can just lengthen them.

Lengthen?

You can shorten a dress, you can't lengthen it.

Where are you going to get the material from?

How many of these rags did we make anyway?

Don't ask.

How many did we sell?

Don't ask that either.

Well, I think it's cute.

Cissy, please.

We're ruined.

A whole line down the tubes.

$200,000 kaput, everything we worked for all these years.

Sorry, Harry.

It's all my fault. I guessed short for this year.

I guessed wrong.

You promised me a masterpiece.

It's grotesque.

Even I can't sell it.

Harry, if you can't sell it, nobody can sell it.

What are we going to do?

How the hell do I know?

Can, can-- can we use your wife's trust fund?

I can't touch the principal.

What about our-- what about our partnership insurance?

$100,000.

What about it?

I could commit suicide.

Marv.

It's my fault.

Marv, don't talk foolish.

You're not going to kill yourself.

Neither am I.

We could flip a coin.

Marv, you're hysterical.

I am.

So what are we going to do?

Hit me again, partner.

So, first we took Bucy Hickman's poodle to get

this permanent at Fashion Mall.

And then we went boutique shopping.

Oh, I saw the most adorable outfit.

Kind of ...

Tre chic.

I got two, one in fuchsia and one in lime.

It was Culture Clothes Classics.

Isn't that Ralph .. line?

Yeah.

Aren't you going to ruin your appetite, baby?

Don't do that to me, Harry.

Just clearing my palette for dinner.

Listen, what happened to the new line?

You know, I went into all the stores and none of them

are carrying it.

They're not carrying it because it's a turkey.

I thought it was kind of cute.

Castlemore's brainstormed.

The world is into flesh these days, he tells me.

So what's wrong with flesh?

The new line is burying us, baby.

The wolf is at the door.

If we don't meet our obligations,

the bank is going to put the padlock on.

We lose everything, the house, the trip to Europe.

My God, Harry.

The Mercedes.

The Mercedes?

Yeah.

Harry.

Harry, what are we going to do?

If only we could get hold of my trust fund.

Forget your trust fund.

Marv Castlemore should pay for it.

It was his mistake.

He certainly should, especially

with that rotten line.

If something happened to Marvin.

Happened?

I got partnership insurance with Marvin, $100,000.

Yeah, but doesn't he have to be dead

before you can collect that?

He's got to be very dead.

Harry.

Harry, Marvin is your partner.

He's your best friend.

I mean, you've been inseparable for years.

Well, like I say, friendship is one thing,

but business is business.

Harry, I mean, you're talking about murder.

Yeah, just talking about a measly, dumb murder.

I'm talking about a perfect murder.

Why, everybody's always talking about a perfect murder,

then they do one little thing wrong, and they get caught.

I plan on getting caught.

I give up, I surrender.

In fact, if you help me, I might even [inaudible] try

to get w when I murder Marvin.

Me?

Yeah.

What do I have to do with it?

Well, you know, Marv Castlemore has always liked you.

Me?

He likes me?

Why not?

Look at you, you're a delectable woman.

Why do you think he's been a bachelor all these years?

He's been carrying a torch for you.

If you wave your little finger, he'd break both legs running.

Harry.

Yeah.

Are you trying to say that you want

me to have an affair with funny, silly Marvin Castlemore?

Yeah.

Oh, Harry.

Why not?

Why not let that jerk have a little bliss before he dies?

Baby, I like it here in Wilmington, Delaware.

Delaware is a great state.

They got a law written down that says if a husband finds

somebody in the act of adultery and he kills him,

it's not a murder.

It's not even manslaughter.

It's a misdemeanor.

It's a $100 fine.

No.

That's s All for killing somebody?

We save the house.

We save the business.

The Mercedes.

We buy a new one.

Oh, I don't know, Harry.

It's very risque, darling.

Are you sure you wouldn't mind me having a little fling?

Oh, like I always say, pretty, a fling is one thing,

but business is business.

Oh, Harry.

Oh, I like it here in Wilmington, Delaware.

I really like it here.

Chachachachacha.

Hey, It's a wonderful day, baby.

Keep that line moving, baby.

Ah lalalala.

Mrs. Sanchez.

You are doing a wonderful job.

A stitch in time saves nine.

Lalalalala.

I like that.

Oh, that is different.

Different and daring.

Daring and different.

That is definitely different.

Different and daring.

Daring and different.

Wonderful.

I think you got a winner there now, partner.

Are-- are you crazy?

You-- you're crazy.

That, that, that is a rag.

You're right.

I mean, no one would be caught dead--

Marv, Marv, this business is full of surprises.

I think that is definitely a trendsetter.

Harry, why are you so happy?

What's not to be happy?

I got a beautiful wife.

I got a wonderful partner.

I got a great business. - Harry.

What?

Two men from the bank were here today.

They're taking inventory.

They're taking inventory.

It is going to be all right, Marv.

Give it a little stroll, will you, babe?

Let's see how that rag walks.

Oh yes, that is definitely a work of art.

That is a work of art.

Harry, you're you're, you're--

you're crazy.

Harry.

We are finished.

We are finished.

Marv, Marv.

Now I'm worried about your health.

- My health. - You got to learn how to relax.

Why don't you-- why don't you come over to the house

tonight, huh?

We'll have some laughs.

You bring a date, we'll have a little barbecue,

a little chachacha.

You know, just this morning, Roberta was saying,

how it's Marv.

You know she likes you?

She's looking forward to seeing you.

How, knock them dead, babe.

It's going to knock them dead.

Oh yeah.

Harry?

How do I look for Marv?

How do I look, then?

You look fantastico.

If you weren't my wife, I'd make a play for you myself.

I'm, uh, I'm a little nervous, Harry.

What's to be nervous?

A little fling with Marvin is going to be the best thing

in the world for both of you.

The fling doesn't bother me.

I mean, it bothers me.

I feel bad about doing it, of course.

No, I meant later.

Killing Marv? - Hold it a second.

A trip to Europe.

You want to cancel the trip to Europe?

We can't cancel the trip to Europe.

You want them to repossess the Mercedes?

Never.

All right, then.

Now as soon as you hook Marvin, I want you to flaunt it.

I want the whole world to know what's happening.

Harry, it's-- it's one thing to have an affair,

but it's uncouth to flaunt it.

Justification.

When I kill Marvin, I want everybody

to know I had justification.

Harry, you are a very deep person.

All right, that's Marvin.

Everything is up to you, baby.

Harry.

Whatever this looks like, I just want you

to know I'm doing this for you.

And the Mercedes.

You're magnificent.

Hey, how did you guys remember?

Well, Harry it's a strictly business

advertising friend of mine.

It's so embarrassing wearing the same cover.

That's all right, baby.

You look a dream.

Roberta, honey, this is Marv's date, Cissy.

Malanka.

Cissy Malanka.

Marv, Roberta's dying to see you.

Go on.

I-- I like that dress.

It's tre cute.

Long time no see, Marv.

How have you-- how have you been?

Now, on this special occasion, I

would like to propose a toast to my beautiful wife, Roberta.

To my wonderful friend, Marv Castlemore.

And to the great city of Wilmington, Delaware.

I didn't know you and Marv were an item.

Oh, it's all business, Harry.

He says he's grooming me for an executive position.

Oh.

Harry is such a for work.

He travels all the time, New York, Philadelphia, Boston.

Marvey, Marvey, I'm still young.

Attractive.

Oh yeah, you're very--

What?

Attractive.d Attractive.

You're so attract-- attractive.

You know what I am?

A seedless grape withering on the vine.

You're not a seedless grape.

You're ...

You're going to make a beautiful wine.

You're luscious.

Marv, what do you want to do to me?

My god, I didn't think--

I want to make wine.

Shh.

Not now, not yet.

Harry is leaving tomorrow for a week in New England.

Oh, he won't be back, and I have to see you.

I have to be near you.

I have to be close to you.

Oh, Roberta.

Oh, yes.

You're spilling your drink in my lap.

Oh, Marv.

I'm sorry.

It's OK.

It feels good.

What are you thinking, Harry?

I was thinking about the business.

Is business all right, Harry?

Business has never been better.

Bankruptcy?

No, that's crazy.

Fabulous Frocks has never been healthier, Mayor.

Right.

Oh, I'm leaving right away.

I'll be in Boston in a couple of hours,

why don't we go out tonight, have some drink?

A little disco, baby.

Huh?

Chachacha.

Oh, lalalala.

That Moe Osgood.

What a fun guy.

I don't understand it, Harry.

Why so chipper?

Our business is going under.

Marv, don't be such a worrier.

You only live once, my friend.

Try to have a good time.

Chacha, chachachachacha, chacha.

Chachacha.

Lalalalalalala.

Got line one for Mr. Castlemore.

Yeah?

Oh, Mrs. Elton.

Roberta.

I mean, Roberta.

Harry just left.

Ah.

Oh, good.

Marvin, you come right over here.

I'm waiting for you.

The front door will be unlocked.

Hello?

I'm upstairs, Darling.

Where?

Upstairs.

In here, lover.

Hello, Marvin.

Come here, Marvin.

Brought you something.

Oh, darling.

My favorite chocolate.

Sit down, Marvin.

Oh.

Make yourself comfortable.

Oh, I just love chocolates in the afternoon.

Yeah, Harry.

Yeah, yeah.

Everything's fine, Harry.

Uh, a-- another week?

Yeah, yeah.

Sure.

Yeah, sure.

Uh, I-- I am relaxed.

I am, I am--

I am very, very relaxed.

Marv.

Uh, just a second, Harry.

Mrs. Elton's here to see you.

Uh, Harry, I've got to run.

Yeah, uh, sure.

Take all the time you want.

A week, 10 days.

Zip on down to New York.

Have a ball.

Yeah, I-- I'm feeling real fine.

Thanks, Harry.

Bye.

Send Mrs. Elton in.

She has some brass, that woman.

Cissy.

This is the third time she's been here this week,

throwing herself at you like that.

Mrs. Elton and I just got some business.

I can imagine.

What business?

You're not fooling anyone, Marv.

Poor Harry.

On your way out, Cissy, close the door behind you.

Darling.

Oh, darling.

Oh, darling, you have to forgive me.

Please forgive me.

I tried not to come.

I tried.

This thing between us is stronger than I--

Cissy won't be back.

Wait, hold on.

Just watch the water.

Darling, oh darling. You have to forgive me.

Poor Harry.

Now I, uh, I talked to Harry today.

What did he say?

I don't understand him.

He seems to enjoy being on the road.

Then let him stay.

But it seems like he should be a little suspicious by now.

I feel terrible about--

uh oh.

Ralph Zithwald.

Don't look, don't look.

Culture Clothes Classics?

Yes.

He's got the biggest mouth in town.

Don't look.

Hello, Ralph.

What the hell are you doing?

Well, I'm not ashamed of our love.

It almost seems like you want Harry to know about us?

Well, what if he does?

This is Wilmington, Delaware.

People, take, uh-- they take a dim view of this sort of thing.

What sort of thing?

Adultery.

Adultery?

Is that what you think we're doing?

Well, technically.

Technically? Well, technically, it's--

Technically?

How can you be technical about our love?

Well, I mean it's sort of like--

it's sort--

- Marvin, do you love me? - Yes, I love you.

Really, really?

Yes, I love you.

I love you.

Well then, Wilmington, Delaware can go fly a kite.

I don't care who knows about our love, including

my husband, Harry Elton.

Hey, Ralph.

So the drunk says to the lady, who is that pig?

She says, that's not a pig.

That's my dog.

He says, I know, I'm talking to the dog.

Got to hand it to you, Harry, the way you're

dealing with this pressure.

What pressure?

Business failing and those other rumors.

What rumors?

Maybe I should be the one to tell you about it.

What?

I was talking to Ralph Zithwald.

Your partner and your wife.

Yeah?

They're having an affair, Harry.

Marv, my wife, having an affair?

Come on, Joe.

Well, says everyone knows about it.

She visits him at your office and they lock the door.

Knows about what?

Marv Castelmore is my oldest, dearest friend.

What are you talking about, Joe?

Yes. Mr. Elton.

This telegram just came for you.

Oh, yeah.

Thank you.

Take it.

Thanks.

Oh my god.

What is it?

Oh.

If you want to know where your partner is,

find out where your wife is.

A friend.

I'm sorry, Harry.

No.

I'll talk to you tomorrow, Harry.

No.

No.

No. Ah.

Harry.

No.

Harry, don't do anything crazy.

Room number.

821.

Honey, I got the telegram.

I'll be in Wilmington by 11 o'clock.

Make sure Marv is with you.

Hey, come on.

Don't cop out now.

It's almost over.

Think about the Mercedes.

Just keep thinking about the Mercedes.

- Hey, what's the matter, honey? - Huh?

Matter?

Hey.

Ungh.

Something is the matter, isn't it?

What if you were about to lose something

that was very dear to you?

You're not talking about us, are you?

No, of course not.

No I meant something like a car, or like that.

Well, if it meant a great deal to you,

I'd do anything in the world to help you save it.

Oh, Marv.

Oh, you make me feel so much better.

I just want you to know, no matter what happens,

I think you're a grand guy.

Come on.

What in the world could happen?

Well, you know.

It's like Harry always says.

Love is one thing but--

Business is business.

What was that?

I don't hear anything.

I heard something.

Oh, the cat.

For a second, I thought it--

Oh, you thought it was Harry, didn't you?

Don't be silly.

He's still in New York.

Oh, give me a kiss.

Ah ha!

Oh, Harry!

No, no, no. Don't get dressed.

We got to make this look good.

Sit right down in that chair.

I'll call the police.

Oh, Ha-- Harry.

We, we did it.

The only way I could get to the trust fund was if she died.

$200,000.

You know, Harry, we-- we--

we-- we can relocate.

We can build a whole new factory,

move the whole operation to Philly.

Forget about Philly.

Why?

I like it here in Wilmington.

Yeah.