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1
00:00:05,464 --> 00:00:08,443
Oh, you figure out why
your truck won't start?
2
00:00:08,467 --> 00:00:12,864
The gas gauge is frozen on
full, but the tank is empty.
3
00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:14,782
Why gas?
4
00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:16,201
Why couldn't it have been
something less expensive,
5
00:00:16,225 --> 00:00:18,661
like a new engine?
6
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:19,871
It's bad, guys.
7
00:00:19,895 --> 00:00:21,873
It's bad.
8
00:00:21,897 --> 00:00:23,750
I just got off the phone with
my mom's credit card company.
9
00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:26,336
They know she didn't
make the charges.
10
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,004
Well, they don't
know it's us, right?
11
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:29,672
No, not yet, but
they're digging.
12
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:31,507
I tried to throw them off
the scent by telling them
13
00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:34,344
she's got dementia,
but they talked to her.
14
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,679
And they said, to them, she
didn't sound so... so bad.
15
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:37,431
She sounded fine.
16
00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:39,349
Fine.
17
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:44,562
The woman thinks you're
Davy Jones from The Monkees.
18
00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:45,897
If they find out,
what's the worst
19
00:00:45,921 --> 00:00:47,815
that could happen to you guys?
20
00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:50,568
It's a felony punishable by
up to three years in prison.
21
00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:52,362
Huh.
22
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,280
Three years of somebody
making all my meals and nobody
23
00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:56,056
wanting anything from me?
24
00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,285
Can I think about it?
25
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:03,581
Well, it's too late to
return my big-screen TV
26
00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:07,377
that becomes a French
painting when you turn it off.
27
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:08,586
She already has a
tracking number.
28
00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:15,009
My little XV435/22-Uh.
29
00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:17,595
None of us want to return
anything because we all know
30
00:01:17,619 --> 00:01:19,264
that once Bev is
playing the harp,
31
00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:22,058
and that is a very
generous prediction
32
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,978
that the card company
will just eat the loss.
33
00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:28,356
The dead don't pay no interest.
34
00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:30,984
But the living can go to jail.
35
00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:32,819
All right, well, there's
only one thing to do.
36
00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:34,696
Dad, you have to go
over to Grandma Bev's
37
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:35,947
with Aunt Jackie.
38
00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:38,950
Why is it always me?
39
00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:40,827
Because she likes you now.
40
00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:42,662
You're the only one
that can gaslight her
41
00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:44,813
and make her believe that
she bought all that stuff.
42
00:01:46,982 --> 00:01:48,025
Ahh!
43
00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:56,384
Gaslighting an old
woman is so cold.
44
00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:58,052
Can I get it on that?
45
00:01:58,076 --> 00:01:59,178
Darlene's right, Dan.
46
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:00,430
You have to help me.
47
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:03,933
You guys suck for
making me do this.
48
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,852
I just hope she's
having a foggy day
49
00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:08,855
so I can convince her that it
was her that made the charges.
50
00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:12,233
I'm going to hell
for even saying that.
51
00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:13,401
Well, if you can't
convince her maybe
52
00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:16,529
she'll listen to Davy Jones.
53
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:18,114
Why she doesn't think
you're Peter Tork
54
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,973
I don't understand.
55
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:23,995
Aren't you going to
be late for work?
56
00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:27,123
I told you, I try to go in
late on All-Meat Mondays,
57
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:31,044
having that weirdo Howard carve
it all up before I get there.
58
00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:33,755
He brings his own
knives, which bothers me,
59
00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:36,883
'cause he's not a chef, so...
60
00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:39,177
But on the upside, when they
find the bodies in his trunk,
61
00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:40,786
you get to be in
the documentary.
62
00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:43,806
The whole thing is just gross.
63
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,391
I hate these days.
64
00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:47,435
You know what might
make you feel better?
65
00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:48,936
Nothing.
66
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:53,608
You're a cynical, negative,
glass-half-empty crank.
67
00:02:53,632 --> 00:02:55,943
Hey, when you
become a therapist,
68
00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:57,511
charge less than the others.
69
00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:04,494
Hey, where are you going
with my frying pan?
70
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,454
Oh, it's still warm from
heating up my glove,
71
00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:09,123
so I'm going to use it to
thaw out Becky's gas gauge.
72
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:11,959
Then I'm going to sit on it on
my way to the hardware store.
73
00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:14,361
You can keep that as
my parting gift to you.
74
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:21,928
Are you OK? What happened?
75
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,596
There was a rat in your sink.
76
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:24,597
What?
77
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:26,599
No, no, no!
78
00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:28,393
You know what?
79
00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:30,103
The neighbors are doing
a bunch of construction,
80
00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:31,938
and they probably
disturbed a rat mound.
81
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:33,523
Well, what are you going to do?
82
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,316
Because they can have up to
12 babies every three weeks.
83
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:36,818
I mean, that's
what... what is that?
84
00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:39,719
Like, 750,000 a year?
85
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,698
Yeah, something like that.
86
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,158
Uh, OK, you know what?
87
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:45,743
I'm going to catch it
when I get home from work.
88
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:48,287
- Oh, my God.
- Listen, do not tell Ben.
89
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:50,039
He's going to want
to kill it, OK?
90
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,791
- Oh, God, oh.
- All right.
91
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:53,751
The only thing that
dies in this house
92
00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,002
are our hopes and dreams.
93
00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:18,609
"The Conners" is
filmed...
94
00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:20,278
In front of a live
studio audience.
95
00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:21,654
Beverly, look who's here.
96
00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:23,197
It's Jackie and your son-in-law.
97
00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:24,949
And they have flowers.
98
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,868
Hey, Mom, how you doing?
99
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:28,828
If you're having a bad day,
we can go over a few things,
100
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:30,955
record the conversation
on Dan's phone,
101
00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:32,999
get out of your
hair lickety-split.
102
00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:34,709
No. Come in, Jackie.
103
00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:36,878
I'm having a very good day.
104
00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:38,612
Then we'll work with that.
105
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,425
Guess what September 14th is.
106
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:44,093
That is my birthday.
107
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,387
Or, as you like to remind
me, the first of many days
108
00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:48,514
I caused you pain.
109
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:51,476
Yes, it is your birthday,
and I remembered it.
110
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:54,687
It just popped into my
noggin just like that.
111
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:56,939
And I've been having so
much trouble with dates.
112
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,441
Isn't this amazing?
113
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,693
Yes, it is.
114
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,862
Sometimes certain things stick.
115
00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:04,447
Sometimes they don't.
116
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:05,615
Like finances.
117
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,599
They come, and they go.
118
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,871
So you seem like you're
in a really good mood.
119
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:13,080
You have a lot of energy.
120
00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:15,291
Did my mom have a Gilligan cure,
121
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,959
or, like, she got
hit in the head
122
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:19,462
with a coconut or something?
123
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:20,755
Is it OK to tell them?
124
00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:21,964
You might as well.
125
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,925
They seem so shocked
that I remembered
126
00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,635
my daughter's birthday.
127
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,261
Your mother was
offered to take part
128
00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:29,096
in an experimental drug trial.
129
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,974
It's been two months now, and
it really seems to be slowing
130
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,476
down the cognitive decline.
131
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:34,852
Oh, my gosh.
132
00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:36,729
Mom, why didn't you tell us?
133
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:39,816
There are a lot of scary
side effects in the waiver,
134
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,276
and I was worried
you'd try to stop me.
135
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:44,737
Oh, I don't think she'd be
worried about scary side
136
00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:47,448
effects for you, Bev.
137
00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:48,991
She's happier.
138
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,409
She's eating better,
and there are way
139
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,078
more good days than bad days.
140
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:54,330
Did the doctor say if
this was permanent?
141
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,665
They don't know for sure.
142
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,417
It might last forever,
or it could go away
143
00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:00,711
in a day, a week, or a month.
144
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:04,549
And it couldn't have
happened at a better time.
145
00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:08,427
I just found out that someone
has been using my credit card.
146
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:12,515
What kind of morally
bankrupt lowlife
147
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:15,584
would take advantage of an
old woman with dementia?
148
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:20,672
Well, there's two
sides to every story.
149
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,776
And people could have
a lapse of judgment
150
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,319
in a moment of desperation.
151
00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:28,197
Like it says in
the Bible, judge he
152
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:34,120
not those who we knoweth
not of their desperation,
153
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:37,915
for they may be scared
and about to bolt.
154
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:43,653
I believe that's the
book of... of Roger 6:13.
155
00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:49,927
So like I said, just
stopped by to say hi,
156
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,762
which we'll probably
do every morning
157
00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:54,348
to check in on you,
see if you're confused.
158
00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:56,642
Because if you are, we
want to jump on that.
159
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,394
You know, to be here for you.
160
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,730
You're not getting away
that easy, young lady.
161
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,565
We have to talk.
162
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:05,759
I'd stay, but this sounds
like it's going to be awful.
163
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:10,197
I guess I have this coming.
164
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:12,033
You certainly do.
165
00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:15,077
You know, when a person
gets to a certain age,
166
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:17,997
they look back on their
life, and they take inventory
167
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,332
of what they've done wrong.
168
00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:21,292
Well, you're about
30 years too late,
169
00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:24,545
but I'm enjoying the
hug, so keep going.
170
00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:27,923
I so regret how poorly
I've treated you.
171
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:29,717
I want to make everything right.
172
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,218
You do?
173
00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:33,095
Tomorrow, I want us
to go out and have
174
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:36,265
a fantastic day in Chicago.
175
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:39,352
We'll go to the Art Institute
and the Historical Society.
176
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,771
They have the first
piece of Wrigley's gum.
177
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,230
Can you imagine it?
178
00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:45,566
And we'll go to the Grand
Hall and Union Station.
179
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:48,569
It'll be just like
when you were a child.
180
00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:50,821
But you never took me
anywhere when I was a child.
181
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:52,823
You said it reflected
badly on you.
182
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:58,704
What a monster I was.
183
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:00,790
Then this will be the
mother-daughter day
184
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,208
we never had.
185
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:04,835
Oh, are you really
saying that that's
186
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:05,920
what you want to do?
187
00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,838
You... you want to be with me,
188
00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:09,298
even though you're not sure
189
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,842
how many good days
you have left?
190
00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:13,552
More than anything
else in the world.
191
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,096
All right.
192
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,223
Well, then that's what we'll do.
193
00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:21,894
We will... we'll talk
and love and forgive.
194
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:24,730
Lots of forgiveness.
195
00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:29,068
Lots of wonderful,
unconditional,
196
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,986
unretractable,
197
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:34,723
legally binding forgiveness.
198
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:40,246
- Hey.
- Hey.
199
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:41,747
How was your day?
200
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:44,667
Those plungers finally
come to the store?
201
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:46,627
I know they were stuck
in Minnesota for a while.
202
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:47,753
Yes.
203
00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:49,422
They came, thank God.
204
00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:51,465
You know, St. Patty's
Day coming up.
205
00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:52,633
Corned beef and cabbage.
206
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:53,992
You do the math.
207
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:56,053
Oh.
208
00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:58,139
Hey, did you see this?
209
00:08:58,163 --> 00:09:00,599
All the corners chewed off?
210
00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:02,685
I think we have a rat.
211
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:03,811
What?
212
00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:05,837
Wait, let me see that.
213
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:08,107
Oh.
214
00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:10,151
Uh-huh. No, it's not a rat.
215
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:12,778
These are Beverly
Rose's bite marks.
216
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:16,282
She's uh... she's pretending
to be a dog again.
217
00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:17,867
And it looks like
Becky changed her food,
218
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,077
and she got stressed out.
219
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:22,830
All right, well,
just to be safe,
220
00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:24,582
I'm going to run to my
store, grab some rat traps.
221
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:25,833
We've got rats?
222
00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:26,876
Oh.
223
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,669
No, don't overreact.
224
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:32,798
We maybe have one rat, or,
like, 750,000, if you trust.
225
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:35,259
Jackie's math.
226
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:38,745
Look, just get the kind
of traps that don't kill.
227
00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:44,143
You do know that it's
only in Disney movies
228
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:45,919
that they help you get
dressed for the ball.
229
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:50,524
Darlene, there is a
long-standing arrangement
230
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:52,735
between rats and humans.
231
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,404
We gave them New York City,
and in the rest of the country,
232
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,906
they're fair game.
233
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,492
Hey, hey, hey, I am
not playing around.
234
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:00,868
Use a humane trap.
235
00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:02,119
Really?
236
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:05,831
Being a vegan includes rats now?
237
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,541
Oh... OK, OK.
238
00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:09,877
Yes, I will try a humane trap.
239
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:11,086
Thank you.
240
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:13,005
Oh, no.
241
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:16,050
Beverly Rose ate some raisins
off of the kitchen floor
242
00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:17,074
this morning.
243
00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:21,180
You don't think...
244
00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:23,432
No, no.
245
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:24,558
No.
246
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:26,060
OK?
247
00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:26,978
I was eating some
raisins this morning.
248
00:10:27,002 --> 00:10:27,979
I dropped a few.
249
00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:30,171
Oh. Thank God.
250
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:40,116
- First time in Chicago?
- Huh?
251
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,158
Oh, no.
252
00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:42,493
God, no.
253
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:44,620
No, my mom lost her mind,
but she's better now.
254
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:48,165
So we're reliving the
childhood that I never had.
255
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:49,458
So Union Station
is our last stop.
256
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:50,835
You?
257
00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:52,419
Oh, my wife loves the old-world
258
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:55,130
glamour of train travel,
and she's taking a leak.
259
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:57,258
Yeah. No, my mom
loves trains, too.
260
00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:59,510
She's been looking
forward to this all day.
261
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:01,428
You know, it's funny when
she wasn't all there,
262
00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:04,974
I never thought that I
would get closure on all
263
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,643
the crap she left me holding.
264
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:11,772
You know, feeling insecure,
not good enough, unloved.
265
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,316
And then today at the
Hancock building, I...
266
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:15,442
I yelled at her.
267
00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:16,569
She cried. She yelled at me.
268
00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:18,279
I cried.
269
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:19,780
Then the Swedish tour group
in the elevator with us,
270
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:20,781
they cried.
271
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,616
Those people never cry.
272
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:26,996
So I... I just feel like
I've had 60 years of poison
273
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,706
drain out of my body.
274
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:31,166
I've never felt this good.
275
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:34,170
So happy for you, person I
don't know or care about.
276
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,212
I'm ready.
277
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:36,463
Let's go.
278
00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:39,133
Oh, excuse me, but the
older woman in there
279
00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:40,426
with the little crocheted hat,
280
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:42,094
does she seemed
ready to come out?
281
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,178
There's no one else in there.
282
00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:44,263
Oh.
283
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:45,514
Maybe in one of the stalls.
284
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,141
They're all open.
There's no one in there.
285
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:48,809
OK.
286
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:49,959
'Cause I saw her.
287
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:53,814
Mom!
288
00:11:59,595 --> 00:12:00,821
Oh.
289
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,239
Anything in the traps?
290
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:05,117
Nope, but the cheese
keeps disappearing.
291
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,578
You ate the cheese, didn't you?
292
00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:10,164
I don't know why you'd
waste something as delicious
293
00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:12,023
as pepper jack on
catching a rat.
294
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,587
Hey, what you doing
home so early?
295
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:18,589
You know Howard the knife guy?
296
00:12:18,613 --> 00:12:20,382
He's a person of
interest in something,
297
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,825
and they shut the
cafeteria down.
298
00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:30,184
Why is there a kill
trap on the counter?
299
00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:32,603
Because the humane
ones don't work.
300
00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:34,170
The rats are too smart.
301
00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:38,859
Dad, I can't believe
you're actually
302
00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:40,778
over here helping him.
303
00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:42,988
You've known how I felt about
this since I was a teenager.
304
00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:44,949
Do you remember when I made
you catch that field mouse
305
00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:46,575
and take it out to the country?
306
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,328
Did you not notice it only
took me 10 minutes to get out
307
00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:51,104
to the country and come back?
308
00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:56,627
Look, sometimes we have
to make a choice, OK?
309
00:12:56,651 --> 00:12:58,587
We can't always humor your
feelings about animals
310
00:12:58,611 --> 00:12:59,838
in these situations.
311
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:01,924
Humor my feelings?
Are you kidding me?
312
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:02,967
Oh, I know where this is going.
313
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,575
Bye.
314
00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:08,305
Come on, Darlene.
315
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:10,891
Beverly Rose is so terrified
she won't come out of her room.
316
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:13,769
You haven't even tried
to use a humane trap.
317
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,688
Why are your
feelings so much more
318
00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:16,772
important than mine in this?
319
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:17,898
Fine.
320
00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:19,483
OK, we'll do it your way.
321
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:22,069
We'll let him grow up,
send him to college,
322
00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:25,072
and as soon as he goes to
Myrtle Beach for spring break,
323
00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:27,282
we'll change the locks.
324
00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:28,617
Don't make fun of me.
325
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,911
You know what?
You're being a jerk.
326
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:32,496
You really want to
drive the rat out?
327
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:33,730
Marry it.
328
00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:46,343
Oh, my God. Thank you very much.
329
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:47,761
God, I've been looking
everywhere for you.
330
00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:49,221
What are you doing?
331
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:50,347
Don't get excited.
332
00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:51,849
I'm just getting on the train.
333
00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:53,517
I was going to text you.
334
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:55,394
You can't let
this woman on the train.
335
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:56,895
She has dementia.
336
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:58,772
I'm fine. Ask me anything.
337
00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:01,567
The president of the United
States is that kid Joe Biden.
338
00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:04,278
The vice president
is Kamala Harris.
339
00:14:04,302 --> 00:14:06,405
This is my lovely
daughter, Jackie Harris.
340
00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:08,282
No relation.
341
00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:11,243
That doesn't prove anything.
342
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,537
Name one senator from our state.
343
00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:15,772
You name one senator.
344
00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:21,420
I'm not the one trying
to get on a train.
345
00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:24,089
Look, I'm no doctor,
but she seems OK to me.
346
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:25,507
Mom, what are you doing?
347
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:27,551
Mom, this is a train.
348
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:29,094
It's going to take you away.
349
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:30,345
Do you even know
where it's going?
350
00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:31,597
It's going east.
351
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:33,223
I haven't decided
where to get off yet.
352
00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:34,933
Isn't that wonderful?
353
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:37,644
But we had an
amazing day together.
354
00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:39,104
What, did I do something wrong?
355
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,189
No, dear.
356
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,607
Of course not.
357
00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:43,400
You've never done anything wrong
358
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:47,571
but try to please an
unreasonable old woman.
359
00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:50,699
Today was the best
day we've ever had.
360
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,743
Well, then why would
you want to leave, huh?
361
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,078
What about your clothes?
362
00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:55,704
And what about your medication?
363
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,247
It's all right here
in my tote bag.
364
00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:58,874
I've got a lot of Lululemon.
365
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:02,294
It rolls up very small.
366
00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:04,630
Wait, so you were planning this?
367
00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:08,383
So was this day all
just to get me to drive
368
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:10,010
you to the train station?
369
00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:11,345
No, dear.
370
00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:12,846
I could have taken
a cab, but I wanted
371
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:15,516
to have this day with you.
372
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:18,936
I wanted your face to be
the last one I saw before I
373
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,711
went on my grand adventure.
374
00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:24,149
Please don't do this.
375
00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:25,484
I have to.
376
00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:27,069
I'm not going to sit
around my apartment
377
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:29,363
until I don't know where I am.
378
00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:30,906
I want to die living.
379
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,574
But it isn't fair.
380
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:34,827
We finally have a day
where I want you to stay,
381
00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:36,245
but now you're leaving me?
382
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:39,289
That's why I gave you this day.
383
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:40,999
If I knew for sure
I could remember
384
00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:44,711
to love you every day,
I would never leave you.
385
00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:46,130
Give my nurse a good tip.
386
00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:48,006
I have a reputation.
387
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,591
Mom.
388
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,385
All aboard!
389
00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:53,220
And don't worry about
the credit card.
390
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:55,722
I called and said
there were my charges.
391
00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:58,684
I hope you and the family
enjoy everything you scammed
392
00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:00,477
from the credit card people.
393
00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:02,170
I know that I am.
394
00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:06,525
You know, I could grab you
right now and keep you here.
395
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:08,009
But you won't.
396
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:10,803
Now wave goodbye.
397
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,352
Don't get murdered.
398
00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:32,176
There you are.
399
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,970
God, I've been looking
all over town for you.
400
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,722
Even went to Costco to
see if you were trying
401
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:39,081
flannels on in
the boys' section.
402
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:43,478
I was worried.
403
00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:45,689
You know, I didn't mean
to make you that upset.
404
00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,482
Well, I didn't
think you noticed.
405
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:50,861
Look, I know how much
you care about animals.
406
00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:53,346
Probably more than
you care about me.
407
00:16:57,016 --> 00:17:00,579
That's... that's where you
jump in and say no, but OK.
408
00:17:00,603 --> 00:17:03,373
And I tried to catch
the rat in a humane way,
409
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:05,792
but it just wasn't
going to happen.
410
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,377
No, you're not getting it.
411
00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:09,463
This isn't just about the rat.
412
00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:11,590
You're not really
listening to me.
413
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:13,383
It's like when I
talk about my job
414
00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:15,719
and I tell you how
hard it is for me
415
00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:18,138
to go in and serve meat every
day, you just dismiss it,
416
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:19,431
or you make a joke.
417
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:22,100
Well, I make a joke,
because you make a joke.
418
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:25,771
I mean, that's the foundation
of our whole marriage, right?
419
00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:29,733
We both have horrible lives,
but we can laugh about it.
420
00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:32,986
Yeah, but sometimes
jokes aren't jokes.
421
00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:35,697
I need you to check in on
me and see how I'm feeling
422
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:37,950
every once in a while,
just like I asked you
423
00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:40,369
about your stupid
plungers, for God's sakes,
424
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:44,248
because I know that's
a stress in your job.
425
00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:46,708
I... I guess I'm still learning
426
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,585
to figure out which
ones are jokes
427
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:52,256
and which are a cry for help.
428
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,591
Look, I get that there's
a learning curve.
429
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:57,261
But let's say I make a
joke about the same thing
430
00:17:57,285 --> 00:17:59,346
3,000 times.
431
00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:01,848
That is your clue that
something is bugging me
432
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:03,517
and to take it seriously.
433
00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:05,018
You got it.
434
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:07,479
OK, so what happens
if I check in on you
435
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:11,316
and you were making a joke and
didn't need me to check in?
436
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:13,277
Well, then you're
being too clingy,
437
00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:15,553
and that's, like,
a huge turnoff.
438
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:19,324
So I can't win?
439
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:20,948
Yeah, now you're getting it.
440
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:35,340
Uh, what's up with the chickens?
441
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:38,260
We wanted to show you that
we care about animals, too,
442
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,554
so tonight, we're
not serving chicken.
443
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:41,912
We're serving chickens.
444
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,726
Wait, you're not just
fattening them up
445
00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:47,602
to eat them later, right?
446
00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:49,813
No, no.
447
00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:52,566
That would be wrong.
448
00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:54,258
Right?
449
00:18:57,428 --> 00:18:58,864
Jackie's here.
450
00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:00,514
I gotta hear about
her day with Bev.
451
00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:03,744
So how was it?
452
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,412
Is Bev going to press charges?
453
00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:06,580
No.
454
00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:08,665
She's covering for us.
455
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:11,335
Oh, thank God.
456
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:14,171
I finally got the mother
I've always wanted today.
457
00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:16,548
And the day ended
at Union Station,
458
00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:21,577
where my mom got on a train
and went God knows where.
459
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:25,432
What are you talking about?
460
00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:27,267
Bev didn't want to live the rest
461
00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:29,227
of her life confined
to her home,
462
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:31,313
so she set off on
a glorious journey.
463
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:34,274
And she'll just see
where it takes her.
464
00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:36,175
What a day.
465
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:40,072
Are you out of your damn mind?
466
00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:42,574
You let a 96-year-old
woman who thought
467
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:45,869
her granddaughter was
Davy Jones a few weeks ago
468
00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:48,580
get on a train alone?
469
00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:49,873
And you don't even
know where she's going?
470
00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:51,500
I didn't need to.
471
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,210
She's doing what she
wants, and she's thinking
472
00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:54,378
pretty clearly now, too.
473
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:55,379
Ask Dan.
474
00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:56,421
Yeah, she is,
475
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:57,839
for now.
476
00:19:57,863 --> 00:20:00,175
Wow, I really
thought the chicken
477
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:02,618
playing piano was going to be
the highlight of the night.
478
00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:07,599
You're not really being
serious, are you, Aunt Jackie?
479
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,226
You stopped her, right? Come on.
480
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:10,352
God, you guys just don't get it.
481
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,562
You guys don't
understand how beautiful
482
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:17,651
it is to see an old, frail
woman get on a train alone
483
00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:19,945
and not know where she's going.
484
00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:24,574
I mean, I don't think I've
ever seen her happier.
485
00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:26,910
Sure, because she thinks
she's on a train to Marrakesh
486
00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:29,121
with Crosby, Stills, and Nash.
487
00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:31,164
She wasn't just leaving.
488
00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:34,918
She was giving me the gift
of closure and release
489
00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:36,753
from responsibility.
490
00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:38,046
I'm tracking her phone.
491
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,132
If she gets into trouble,
I can go get her.
492
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:43,343
I swear, you people,
you couldn't appreciate
493
00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:45,929
something profound
and moving if it
494
00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:47,514
was right in front of you.
495
00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:48,890
Oh, yeah?
496
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:50,016
You might feel differently
when you see what's
497
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:51,226
going on in the kitchen.
498
00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:55,605
Well, that's the most ridicul
499
00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:58,900
it takes two chickens to
peck out "Heart and Soul."
35983
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