Original subtitles

[music]

Wow, I can't believe our old horn-

dog of a Boss is finally getting married.

Have you guys met the bride to be yet?

-No. -Nuh.

Charlie, I haven't seen you for like an hour,

where have you been?

Guys, guys, you gotta meet this guy Jombo,

I just met, he's so awesome. [stuttering]

Tell 'em that story you were just telling me Jombo!

[Mumbles under his breath]

Fuck! That's funny! Guy--

Pim, I'm tellin' you, man, I think

he can be the 5th Smiling Friend. Jombo,

Pim, Charlie, I'd love--

Pim, Charlie, I'd love Jombo--

Uh... can we talk about this later, Charlie?

Wait, wait, wait! Check out this cool knife Jombo sold me.

[drunken muttering] You see that?

You see that?

You're not lookin'.

C'mere, Pim!

Gonna do the trick that Jombo taught me.

Charlie, you're scaring me!

Come here Pim, come here!

[wedding music]

Since the bride's father couldn't be here today,

everyone please welcome the Boss's soon-to-be-wife,

Brittney.

[HORRIFYING SCREAM]

Oh my GOD.

[LAUGHING] Pim,

that genuinely got you,

I've never seen you jump like that before.

Hiii, it's soo wonderful to meet you all!

I can't wait to get to know everybody

and help the Boss get a little more organized

with his business ventures,

since we know his mind can be

a little preoccupied sometimes!

[giggles]

Ha-ha-ha alright, how fun.

Now let's get this show on the road.

Do you, Mr. Boss,

take Brittney to be your lawfully wedded wife?

Uh, no dip!

Haha!

And do you Brittney,

take Mr. Boss to be your lawfully wedded husband?

[Sincere voice] I do.

Well, that's all I needed to hear.

That settles it,

I now pronounce you husband and demon!

Nooo, later,

But I want it...

stop, stoppp.

Stop it.

Nooooo.

Pim, w-what's going on, what is all this crap?

I think the Boss made Glep put all this stuff up.

Charlie, are you okay?

No, I feel like I'm gonna puke, dude...

I-I can't keep doing this to myself...

I can't.

Something's gotta change, brother.

[DEMONIC MUFFLED MUMBLING]

Is that for us?

I-I don't know.

[music]

Hello boys.

What happened to your office?

[whispering]

I've got some great news.

We're no longer the Smiling Friends.

We're now Brittney's Beautiful Demonic Flowers.

Isn't that wonderful?

-What?! -Huh?

Wait, then what are the

Smiling Friends gonna do?

Y'all will have plenty to do!

In fact, Glep is already hard at work back at my house

on Brittney's black rose garden.

But everyone knows that Glep hates gardening.

Don't worry...

I have a final Smiling Friends job for you boys:

It's to make Brittney smile.

Go on boys,

tell her how smart she is for coming up with all this.

Oh no, stop!

You're embarrassing me! Oh, stop!

[giggles]

Uh, I hate it.

-Uh, you're... very nice. -Yeah, you're very... red.

[LAUGHING] OHHH, THANK YOUUU!

YOU'RE SO SWEET!

[Whispering]

Alright, we're gonna go home and celebrate our honeymoon.

See you later.

[screech]

AGHHH!!!

There's a giant hole in the roof.

We s--we s--we saw it happen.

-Devil ran through it. -Yeah, the d--yeah.

Ugh, I'm sick of running errands

for this happily married coup-ele.

I waited two full hours in line to get them these coffees.

You know, if you're not gonna use those,

if you're gonna throw them away, I'll just take one.

Yeah, I could really use one. Okay, man.

Yeah, I kinda want one too, actually.

-Alright, yeah, thank you. -Okay, then.

First the Boss...

and now Glep.

I'm scared, Charlie.

Guys, I'm s--And honestly,

I don't want to jump to conclusions here

but I'm starting to think, I'm starting to wonder

if the Boss's red devil, scaring-looking wife

might be up to no good.

Agreed.

I think we should do some research on her first

before we do anything.

Okay. But let's go somewhere else,

I don't think it's safe to talk here.

Why?

Cause of the eyeball.

Cause of the eyeball,

I see, I-I, yeah.

How'd I miss that? I didn't see that eyeball.

-I don't know. -Wow.

It's been there the whole time.

Oh, my gosh.

[sigh] Man, I've looked through every single one of her

social media posts that she's ever made

and all it is, is just like wholesome, positive stuff

like cool videos and, and awesome hashtags.

I--Maybe we're wrong about her, you guys.

Look, nobody evil would do that.

What is this thing?

Throw this away.

I can't man it's not mine,

I'm just holding onto it for my uncle

until he gets out of the hospital.

Hellooo handsome.

Ew.

Wait! I think I found something!

It's the Boss's wife!

According to this...

her real name is Filia Diabolus,

which means daughter of Satan.

It says she emerges once every 100 years

and seeks men of great power and influence

and sucks their life away,

eventually killing them

and giving all their belongings to Satan...

Gasp.

That means the Smiling Friends

will be owned by Say-tan.

[scream]

Guys, I know this might be a little fucked up to say,

but I'm starting to think for the good of humanity,

we might need to kill the Boss's wife.

Well, that's great and all, but how?

Hmm... It seems like someone ripped out the page

that explains that part.

Now, we'll NEVER find out how to vanquish the evil demon!

I just found out how to vanquish the evil demon on YouTube.

Hellooo I'm Daniel the demon slayer.

I slay demons so you don't have to!

So you've encountered a Filia Diabulus demon

and you've decided to slay it,

before we get into that though,

this video is brought to you by Dollar Shave Club!

Whenever I--

Sorry, let me just skip

ahead of that--

Thank you.

So, the only way to slay this demon is...

You must drain it's blood on a full moon!

Oooooo!

Now, don't forget to like, subscribe, hit that--

It's a full moon tonight-uh.

Well, that seems easy enough.

She's probably sleeping right now,

but what weapon do we use?

I've got a replica of Aragon's sword

from Lord of the Rings but I don't,

I don't want to scratch it...

Wait! What about that knife you bought at the wedding?

Jombo's knife! - Jombo's knife!

Dude, what did I say! What did I say!

I-I TOLD you that Jombo was 5th Smiling Friend material.

Yep, you're right, Charlie.

Jombo really came through.

[demonic scream]

Fucking hell!

[Half laughing] Allan! Allan! It's fine, it's fine.

I KNEW it was going to do that!

Y-you're fine. Let's just

go kill the Boss's wife.

Jesus Christ!

[scary music]

Allan, you coming?

No, I've gotta go to my Dr. Monsters appointment

with Dr. Monster.

-Who is Dr. Monster? -What is that?

I've gotta go. Bye.

Er-I--I don't know what that is, still.

[door slams!]

[eerie music]

[stairs creak]

[eerie music]

[heavy breathing]

Pim, I-I-I can't do it.

What? Why? What are you talking about?

Dude, I was so ready to, like,

run in there, frickin' run in there and like, and like,

kill her and stuff but I-I just, I'm hungover from the wedding

so I--yeah, you, yeah, you gonna have to do it.

-I can't do it, I can't do it. -Wha--huh?

[SIGH] Okay, fine.

Pass me Jombo's knife.

[heavy breathing]

Charlie, this is a fake knife.

What?

Yeah. It's one of those

plastic knives that retract...

see.

Oh, my god.

It's a gag knife.

Oh, my god. I paid $600 dollars for that, dude.

Oh! You should probably try to get that back.

He deleted everything and moved to New Jersey.

-I can't g-- -Oh, my gosh.

Wha--Uh. That's bad.

Oh my God, what are you doing?

Uhhh, I-I guess we were trying to stab you in the heart.

What?! WHY?

Do you not like me?!

No, no we don't. No. You're evil.

-Absolutely not. -Yeah.

You're the daughter of Satan.

You think I'm EVIL?

You've misunderstood me!

[crying]

Wait, wait, wait, are you saying

you DIDN'T suck the Boss's life out of him

and put him into a scary coma so you could take over the business

and give it all to Satan?

[SOBBING] No, I DID DO all of that

but you didn't have to be so nasty about it!

[SOBBING]

[screams]

Ahhhh!

[angry gibberish]

Wait, what about the Boss?

I-I don't get it.

Shouldn't the curse be broken by now?

Wait, Charlie.

I remember reading in that book

that the only way to wake

someone from the demon's curse

is a kiss of true love...

[sighs] Alright...

I'll do it for the Boss.

[SCREAMS]

Nah, nah I'm just fucking with you,

I'm good, I'm good.

[giggling]

Don't do that shit, man.

I got a heart condition, dude.

Aw c--Oh, come on Charlie.

Don't be like that!

No, dude, seriously! I have a pacemaker.

I-I-I, I don't mind the joke,

I, but just like not, with the heart stuff.

Don't mess with the heart stuff.

No, but all jokes aside,

thanks for breaking me out of that curse.

Last thing I remember,

she was suckin' the soul right out of my asshole.

Out--out of your asshole?

Oh and by the way,

according to the marriage contract,

since my wife is dead,

I now own one fourth of Hell!

Cool.

You know, I've realized through all this that

I'm just too old to be chasing young hot tail,

my true love is my work,

and more importantly... my boys.

[sings] I know four employees that I just adore,

[sings] I'm so happy I can see them more,

[sings] 'cause we make people smile all dayyy,

[sings] we get to play,

[sings] we get to playyyy.

This was a very strange Halloween.

I'd rather be back with Doctor Monster.

Allan, I still don't know what that means, dude.

-I don't know what that means. -Well, I'm never telling you.

I guess not.

-Mmm. -Yep.

Mm-hmm.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, EVERYBODY!!!

[music]

Do you see this line right here?

Yeah, yeah...

That means that my property

starts right here--

-That is not what that means! -It goes allll the way.

That's my fourth of Hell!

Your property starts at the post, dude, at the post!

You're fucking stupid!

-Go get a surveyor- -Oh, shut up, dude.

-to tell you the same thing- -Why don't you get a, you get a-

-I'm telling you! -surveyor... Whatever, man.