Original subtitles

If you two win the rodeo, I can pay back the bank

and keep our ranch away from Doc.

(Dave) And you were so worried

we'd mess up the future.

Everything's owned by the Duvaliers?

It's up to us to stop this.

Lisa? You need to leave.

I can't believe I'm in the Wild West.

A gang called the Purple Hatters took over the town.

She is never gonna sell to you.

Maybe he'll trade for his daughter.

Lisa!

Time for plan B.

The Treaty of Texoma.

Cody!

(screaming) Where'd he go?

(Lisa) This doesn't feel like home.

Chip, he's lost in the West.

**

What's that? What is that?

(crashing)

(music blaring)

Oh!

What-- what the-- what's that thing, huh?

There!

(yelling)

What's going on? Okay, okay, okay.

You're in the year 2016.

Welcome to the future, buddy.

What am I gonna do?

What am I gonna do? Just calm down, okay.

Just... (exhales)

Calm down.

You're right, everything's gonna be A-okay.

Yeah, that's too calm.

Would you two cut it out?

What's our next move? I don't know.

Chip's always the man with the plan.

I'm just the personality,

eye-candy, charm, and everything else.

Unfortunately, Chip is stuck in 1885,

so it's up to us to figure this out.

We can do it, we just need to use our brains.

(both) Dang it!

I vote we go back to the school.

The only thing worse about being trapped

in a smoked-filled, industrial wasteland

is going to school

in a smoke-filled industrial wasteland.

The school's library is the only place

that will have the history books

that can fill us in on the new timeline.

Yeah, makes sense.

Plus, it's lunch period, I'm a tad peckish.

I could eat.

(chattering)

I can't believe they renamed this place

Mitch Duvalier Academy for Book Learning.

That's messed up.

You know what else is messed up?

Where's my room, huh? Where's my building.

Relax, Cody.

I'm sure there's some kind of vending machine

or something around here named after you.

Vending machine?

Yeah, it's like, uh, a mechanical snackhut.

Oh.

Whoa.

How do you turn this thing on? Don't look at me.

I-- I have no idea what this crazy dodar is.

It's a computer.

The invention that revolutionized

the way people watch cat videos.

Here we go.

(whirring)

Turn it off! Turn it off!

(banging)

Hey!

Check this out.

After we left 1885,

Doc was arrested and thrown in jail.

With Doc behind bars,

Mitch took over as leader of the Purple Hat Gang.

He became obsessed with finding

where Doc hid all the loot he had stolen.

Once he had found it, he used the money to buy up

the rest of the land to invest in Vista de Nada.

Chief mentioned the deed that could fix all of this.

He called it the...

uh...

Treaty of Texico.

The Treaty of Texoma?

Yeah, that's what I said.

The treaty was lost years ago.

Unless it's signed by a chief of the tribe

at the end of every century,

the land can be sold to the highest bidder.

A.K.A. Mitch.

That's the craziest thing I've ever heard.

It's about to become the second craziest.

No way.

Chip becomes a real-life cowboy.

He dedicates himself to bringing down Doc,

Mitch, and the Purple Hat Gang.

So if Chip's back there stopping them,

why is this timeline so messed up?

Oh no.

What is it?

On July 15th, 1885 during a skirmish with Mitch,

Buffalo Jack is knocked into the Pequenito Canyon

and falls to his death.

No, this stupid book's wrong.

It has to be.

Chip can't be gone, he just can't!

That only happens to Chip in this timeline.

If we go back and save him, it's like it never happened.

We have to go back right now then.

There's no way I'm letting my brother bite it

in some massive canyon.

Where's the phone?

It's out of juice, the battery's tapped.

Okay then, plug it in.

Look around.

Everything runs off of coal in this timeline.

So there's no way of charging the phone?

Not unless either of you knows of a way to make electricity.

I'm barely capable of making a sandwich.

I have no idea what one of these electricity thingies is.

Last time, we were trapped in the past.

Now, we have to go back to the past

and we're trapped in the present?

Actually, I'm trapped in the future.

"Potato-potahto."

Dave, that's it.

In sixth grade I made a potato battery

as a science project.

If we can get a couple potatoes and few nails,

I think I can charge the phone.

(laughing)

Awesome sauce.

Cody, shop class is right across the hall.

You grab some nails.

We'll go to the cafeteria and score some potatoes.

We'll meet you back at shop.

Break.

So, how's this work again?

(Lisa) The zinc in the nails reacts with the copper in the wire.

This creates chemical energy.

Since, the potato keeps the ions apart,

the electron transfer has to take place over the copper wire

which should transfer the energy to the phone.

(whirring)

It's working!

Lisa, you're the best.

Okay.

If we're gonna rescue Chip and stop Mitch once and for all,

it's gonna take all that we have.

Now, Cody,

I know you hate me and I hate you.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

No, no, I don't hate you, David.

Th-- hate is a very strong word.

I'm sorry, I don't hate you either.

You mean that?

Sure.

Well then, friends it is.

Wanna hug this out, make it official or something?

A handshakes fine.

You come here.

Oh, you smell good. Is that soap?

(clearing throat)

We can't travel back to the exact moment we left

because the Purple Hatters will be waiting.

We need to pick another date.

The only place we know exactly where Chip's gonna be

is in July 15th, 1885.

Pequinito Canyon.

We have one shot to save Chip.

We gotta make it count.

(beeping)

(grunting)

This must be the place.

(hawk calls)

So what do we do now?

Be patient.

I'm bored, anyone wanna thumb wrestle?

(grunting)

Hey, look, it's Mitch.

And Chip.

(grunts)

(breathing heavily)

I never thought I'd say this about Chip,

but that is the coolest thing I've ever seen.

This cash belongs to the First National Bank.

After I return it,

I'm gonna make another deposit.

Your butt in jail.

(straining)

I give up.

You win.

You want the cash?

Take it.

Chip!

Best money I ever spent.

(laughing)

(whooping)

Dave, am I glad to see you.

Lisa.

I was hoping I'd see you again.

What's that jerk doing here?

It's okay.

After Cody saw how Doc and Mitch ruined

Vista de Nada in the future,

he agreed to help us stop them.

Dave and I are now besties.

As his kin, that makes you and I besties, too.

Come on, saddle up for a hug?

A handshake'll do.

(grunting)

(straining)

It is so nice to have brothers

that don't call me stupid all the time.

(muffled) I can't breathe.

Okay, okay, I think we're good on the hug front, buddy.

Oh, no we're not.

Okay, okay.

Okay...

Now let's get back to the ranch.

Hey, look.

A falling star.

Make a wish.

The only thing I'd wish for is to see Dave one last time.

Hey there, Tex.

Slick!

Wow, that really works?

Huh?

I wish for a pretty lass all to my own.

Hi, guys.

Oh, man.

I wasted a wish on that?

Why's Cody here?

He's with us, he's cool.

Hey, uh, sorry about the evil shenanigans

my family caused.

So, Dave filled me in.

He told me about the potato battery.

Nice work.

I had to think of something.

My boyfriend was trapped in 1885.

Boyfriend?

(chuckling)

I didn't reckon you'd turn up again.

Yeah, well, I'm like a bad penny.

A really, really handsome bad penny.

I know you'll have to leave again soon

and maybe this time for good, so...

I wanna make the most of our short time together.

Are you getting soft on me, Texas Jane?

No.

Ow.

You punch like a girl.

And incredibly strong girl who can throw a punch.

It's so rad you've been living here as a cowboy for a while.

It's been cool, but I'm ready to get back home.

I miss Mom and Dad.

I miss our friends. I miss school.

Me, too. Except the school part.

Hey, the original phone.

Yup, it's busted,

but we can't chance leaving it behind.

(sighs)

We've twisted up the timeline so bad

that if we don't untangle them soon,

the future we know may never happen.

So, what do we do?

Our best chance of returning things to normal

is to find the loot,

give it back to the people of Vista de Nada.

So, do you have any idea of where we can start

looking for this mysterious stash?

No. But I know who does.

It's not like Doc's gonna be, like, "Hi, boys.

"How you doing?

"I hid all my loot in this old fort.

Here are the keys, have fun."

So how you wanna play this?

Something I call good cop, rad cop.

Good cop, rad cop is not a thing.

It is now.

You go in acting all nice and polite

and I hit him with this.

Bam! No one can say no to Gabby's sticky buns.

Doc will think I'm so rad for sharing,

he'll beg to help us out.

Who's the man with the plan now?

(sniffs)

(moans)

You got three minutes, boys.

The Doc's dangerous,

so don't pass anything to him,

don't get close to the cell, and don't talk about his boys.

It gets him riled up.

Understood?

Understood. Cool deal.

Doc.

Cody says hi.

What's new with you?

Not a big high five guy.

That's cool.

I was wondering if I'd see you again after your little,

uh, disappearing act in the desert.

We didn't disappear,

we were transported back to our own time.

Dave and I, we're from the future.

We're here because Mitch is searching for the stolen loot.

If he finds it, it's very bad for the future.

(laughing)

Let's just say I buy all this outlandish nonsense.

What do you boys want from me?

Call off Mitch. Tell him to stop.

(scoffs)

Mitch and I had a falling out.

He blamed me for Cody's disappearance with you.

Mitch has always had grand ambitions,

but, uh, none of the brains to back it up.

Then help us find the loot and stop him.

I would never help the brats

that are responsible for my downfall.

What if I sweeten the deal?

If you don't help,

Mitch is gonna take the Duvalier legacy

and run it into the ground.

Help us make sure he doesn't ruin your legacy

by destroying Vista de Nada.

Break me out of here, boys,

and I'll personally take you to my fortune.

(Sheriff) Times up, boys.

Come on out.

The offers final and, uh, non-negotiable.

(both) Deal.

Gross, your hand is all sticky.

Dag gum it.

Hope you boys said your goodbyes.

Stagecoach comes tomorrow afternoon

to haul Doc off to the big county jail.

Thank you, Sheriff.

We could have Gabby bake a cake with a saw in it

and sneak it to Doc.

We could disguise ourself as ladies,

and while I flirt with the sheriff,

you steal his keys.

You're not flirting with the sheriff.

I mean, you could try,

but you don't seem like his type.

No one is flirting with the sheriff.

(chuckling)

Wait until Mitch gets a load of this.

Buffalo Jack's alive and his stupid brother's returned.

Now, why and the Sam Hill would they visit Doc?

So, uh, how'd it go, boys? Your dad's in.

All he wants in return for us is to break him out of jail.

How do you plan on pulling this off?

I don't quite know yet.

But, fortunately, we have the rest of the day

to figure it out, so...

Uh, no you don't.

Stage coach has pulled right outside the jail for Pa.

What?

That's impossible,

he's not supposed to be picked up until tomorrow.

I got to think of a way to sidetrack that coach.

Think, Jim, think.

Shut the brain down, bro.

The plans on me this time.

Honest, I saw Buffalo Dave and your brother

all working together.

It was right after they visited your pa.

My own brother.

This is a total bro-trayal.

(laughing)

That's funny, boss.

Bro-trayal. I get it.

I wasn't joking that time, you nitwit.

I'm sorry, boss.

Those fools must be after the same thing I am.

Pa's fortune.

Why couldn't the girl's have done this?

This is so embarrassing.

(wolf whistles)

The only embarrassing thing is your lack of commitment.

Wow. Come on, Chip.

Man up and shake what your mama gave you.

Let me handle this, bro.

I don't care who you are or what year it is.

Nobody can resist

the Dave Flower's charm offensive.

Trust me, he's all yours.

Once I've got him wrapped around my finger,

you distract the sheriff and I'll grab Doc.

(high pitch) Excuse me, sir.

Silly ol' me has seemingly misplaced my timepiece.

I was wondering if a strapping man like yourself

could tell me what time it is.

Time to get yourself a new watch, lady.

(coughs)

I don't know what's going on, but my chest hurts

and my stomach feels super weird.

What you're feeling is rejection, bro.

(laughing)

Rejection? Yeah.

You got shot down.

That's impossible, I'm Dave Flowers.

Excuse me. Dave flowers is just...

Just as I figured,

It says, "Made in Heaven."

What's your name, ma'am?

Chip, uh...

(high pitch) Chipjeana.

A beautiful name for a beautiful lady.

Hmmm.

Davejeana. 'Sup?

Do you mind?

This beauteous desert flower and I are having a conversation.

(clears throat)

(clears throat)

Can I help you with something, lady?

I brought by these homemade cookies

as a thank you for being so brave

and keeping this fine town safe

for delicate snowflakes like myself.

(giggles)

I'm allergic to chocolate.

Uh...

My, my I reckon it's hotter than a fire

in a pepper patch in here.

Hoo! Hooo!

Hoo!

Be a lamb, will you,

and, uh, hang this up for me, sugar booger.

(nervously chuckles)

Fine.

What?

(handcuffs clicking)

You should learn to be a tad more respectful to a lady.

Up and at 'em, Doc, time to go.

Dave with a Y?

(laughing)

No, I ain't wearing no wig.

Especially one you got from your undies.

If you want to go, you'll put it on.

Does it look like I enjoy being dressed like this?

Well, yeah.

A little.

Come on. I'm goin', I'm goin'.

As nice as your offer is for a date night sounds,

I have literally anything else I'd rather be doing.

Well, ladies, we should go.

We have that very important lady thing this afternoon.

Until we meet again, my lovely Chipjeana.

I don't know what happened back there.

Maybe if they got the chance to know the real me.

Oh, I highly doubt knowing the real you

would have helped us, Dave.

So what's your angle, Pa?

You gonna help these boys, but you've always got an angle.

(Doc) Well, not this time, son.

No matter how harsh I've been in the past,

I did it because I was trying to make Vista de Nada

the place I always knew it could be.

But if what these boys are saying is true about the future,

well then, it's up to us to protect this fine town

anyway we can.

(chuckling)

Doc Duvalier, you vile retch.

If I were a lesser man, I'd spit on your boots.

Ah, what the heck.

(spits)

It's okay, Pa.

He's gonna help us stop Mitch.

Yeah, well, be careful.

A man like Doc is only out to help one person.

Himself.

Hey.

Can we chat for a second?

Sure.

Before we met, I wasn't scared of anything.

Not even spiders?

Before we met, I was only scared of spiders.

But now that Doc's here to lead us to the loot...

...it won't be long before I head home

for good this time.

Dave, we agreed we weren't gonna talk about this.

I need to.

I hate how much I've hurt you

and I don't want to hurt you anymore.

What are you getting' at, slick?

This last mission is the most dangerous thing

we've ever attempted to do.

And, like I said, I don't want to risk

you getting hurt because of me anymore.

I'm the toughest one here.

You need me.

Not this time, Tex.

Are you telling me you don't want me to be a part of this?

I'm sorry, I hope you understand.

(grunts)

I'll take that as a no.

Shoot!

That right there is the Castilla de la-- de la Tivo.

My pa, well, he was a guest here

during the Texas revolution.

Guest?

Castilla de la Tivo was used to house prisoners of war.

Right you are.

Well, I did not say which side he was on.

Anyway, after they shut it down

it was the perfect place to hide my fortune.

To unlock the room where I hid my loot,

we're gonna need four special keys.

Where are these keys?

I hid them the one place I knew they would never be found.

Under the soap bar in the men's restroom at Carrie Oakleys.

(all groaning)

(gagging)

(shudders)

Round up the gang.

These losers are gonna lead us right to Pa's loot.

It's the last thing they'll ever do.

So, Jane's really broken up, huh?

Yeah.

I don't want to leave her,

but my family and friends and life's in 2016.

You're doing the right thing.

Then why do I feel so terrible right now?

Girls, huh? It's like they say,

you can't live without 'em, you can't live with 'em

'cause they live in the late 1800's.

(both laughing)

Oh, no.

What?

Guess we'll just have to eat.

I don't think Carrie's gonna mind this one time.

(groans)

This is the only room I've ever been in that so nasty

I feel like I have to wipe my shoes off

before I go outside.

(shuttering, flies buzzing)

Let's get out of here.

We have the keys.

I'll get the phones.

We pull this off... we ain't comin' back.

(horse whinnies)

Let's ride.

May luck ride with you, brave warriors.

One thing before we go any further.

You can claim all of the loot,

but there's a picture in a gold frame,

it's of me and my boys, that's mine.

Oh, Pa, that's so sweet.

(Dave) So, uh, how do we get in?

I don't see a door.

Well, Dave with a "Y".

Some doors aren't meant to be seen.

I don't know, but, if it's Pa

it's probably gonna be something real crazy.

Whoa.

Hey, somebody should stay on lookout, just in case.

I'll do it.

It looks kinda dark and dangerous in there

and, uh, I'm not really a fan of the dark...

or, danger... or in there.

You're just screwed up like always.

Yeah, whatever, you need a second set of eyes.

I'll keep watch with Cody.

Should we agree on a code word or animal noise you'll make

to alert us if dangers approaching?

Sure.

How about I'll say, "Hey, guys.

Danger's approaching."

(fingers snap)

Yeah, it works for me.

I know the stakes are high,

and that the fate of the future rests on us defeating Mitch,

but I want you to know that I've had a total blast

with you here in the Old West.

Me too, but if we pull this off,

you'll be stuck with boring ol' 2016 Chip Caldwell.

You invented a time machine.

I'm pretty sure your life will be far from boring.

But here, I'm Buffalo Jack.

Don't get me wrong, I miss my mom,

and indoor plumbing, but back home,

I'll just be my plain ol' nerdy self.

Your plain old nerdy self is the guy I started crushing on.

Now, come on,

let's go save the future.

Remember, I placed booby traps all over,

so we have to make sure that every step we take

is the right one.

Whoa.

Look at that well.

I bet there's a ton of change in there.

(clicking)

(cries out)

What?

Did my butt crack show or something when I bent over?

(gasping)

Sorry, you said something a bout booby traps?

Let's go.

It'll take all of us to open the door.

We have to turn the keys

at the exact same time for it to work.

On three.

(keys clanking)

One... two...

(locks clink)

What was that, Dave?

I thought you meant three and then turn,

not on three.

Nobody does it on three.

Clearly, three out of four people do do it that way.

(laughing)

You said, "Do do."

(laughing)

'Cause "do dos" funny 'cause--

Let's try it again on three.

One... two...

three.

Whoa, Doc.

You got some serious loot.

It's not his loot.

He stole all this

from the good people of Vista de Nada.

It'll all be Mitch's if we don't get it out of here

before he shows up.

I could buy a car with this.

That's worth over half a million dollars.

You could buy a couple of cars.

This is the gold Mitch uses to buy the town with.

Let's pack it up.

Aww. What a good picture.

You guys almost look like a normal family.

Hands off, that's mine.

I'll grab Luna and Cody, they won't believe this.

Not so fast, Buffalo Jerk.

Luna!

Let her go, Mitch.

I'm not about to give her back.

I will trade her back for the loot.

Cody, you traitor.

David, don't take this the wrong way,

but, me and Mitch are family and he's my brother.

And, whilst y'all were in there,

he pointed out that brothers should bros before foes.

It's nothin' personal, we're still besties.

No we're not!

You just personally betrayed me...

personally.

That's the textbook definition of personal.

David, I'm sensing

that you're a tad mad at me right now.

Would you two knock it off?

Give me the loot and I'll give you the girl.

Don't listen to him.

Good ol' Mitch

is about as capable of runnin' this here town

as his moron brother there behind him.

You tell him, Pa.

It's not Doc Duvalier the history will remember, Pa.

It's me.

Hmmm.

'Bout the only thing you'll be remembered for

is being an idiot.

(Cody) Oh, Pa, you broke the picture.

The Treaty of Texoma.

That's right, little darling.

And all I have to do is return it to chief Running Water

and you won't be able to buy his land

with all the gold in the world for the next hundred years.

But, without this here gold,

you'll never be able to pull off your master scheme

and buy the chief's land.

(both laughing)

I'm so proud of you, son.

That underhanded, deceptive, slimy snake move

is exactly what I would have done

in your position, boy.

I learned it all from you, Pa.

I love you!

I love you too.

Get off me, Cody.

Can I have a kiss, Daddy?

(whispers) How are we gonna get out of this one, bro?

We got to get rid of the Duvaliers,

once and for all, all of them.

How?

Wait, the phone.

Chip, could you set the phone to transport them

way into the future

where they won't be a threat to anyone?

Sure, but we'd be stuck here in the past.

We never see our family and friends again?

We'd be leaving the future behind.

It's all fun to think about,

but it's better to leave it all behind

than potentially have our family and friends

live in a Duvalier world.

If that's what it takes to stop them once and for all

then I'm in.

(sighs) I'm in, too.

Even if it means giving up the important four Fs in life.

Four Fs?

Family, friends, and fast food.

Ah, of course, I feel dumb for even asking.

(beeping)

Okay, you win.

You can have the loot.

Just give us back our friend.

(Mitch) Mm-mmm, I love gold.

(sniffs)

Mmm, the way it smells.

(gags) (phone hums)

The fine humming noise it makes.

And you aren't gonna get her back.

(Mitch laughing)

Give me that bag.

(phone hums)

(whirring)

(beeps)

If you think this situation here is gonna end

with you and your little gang coming out on top,

then you're as dumb as he looks.

Hey.

You lose.

Yeah, you lose...

losers.

Yeah.

(cups clangs)

Jane!

Sorry, Doc, but you're the loser.

(whirring)

(all screaming)

Well, it looks like I'm not going anywhere.

It was with great honor that I sign the Treaty of Texoma

to secure the town of Vista de Nada

and it's surrounding lands for the next 100 years!

(all cheering)

So what should we do now that we're living in the Wild West?

Would it be cool if I started a rock and roll band

70 years too early?

I have to invent the electric guitar

50 years too soon.

But in the meantime,

my old phone might just have enough juice to play some Mp3s

if you guys want to listen to some old rock and roll

for one last time.

Wait, you're old phone.

Can't you fix it and we can use that to go home?

What's the point, bro?

We need gold to power it up, remember?

Fortunately most the gold in the county

is in 2030 with Doc.

How much gold do you need?

A few gold coins.

Kind of hard to just stumble upon though.

Will this cover it?

Had to have a little something to remember Doc by.

(electricity crackles)

What are you boys doing?

You're missing the party.

(whirring)

I didn't think I could get my old phone working again, but...

Are you saying--

We got it working.

We?

So we can go home?

I promised I would stay with you.

You don't have to, I'm going with you.

To the future?

I couldn't ask you to do that.

Sure you could.

Yeah, she can bunk with me.

I'm ready for a new adventure.

What do you say, slick?

I love a good adventure.

I'm in.

So this is goodbye... again?

Afraid so.

But we've had the time of our lives.

Yeah, you guys are family

and we're gonna miss you so much.

(beeps)

(rumbling)

Hi! Oh!

Whoa.

It was, uh, career day at school.

I guess, there's not much demand for cowboys these days.

Hey, didn't realize you had company.

Name's Jane.

Whatever you're cooking smells delicious.

I'd ride my horse through four counties for a bite.

Well, thank you.

And who might you be?

Pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Caldwell.

I'm Lisa. Chip's girlfriend.

Oh. Well, everybody have a seat and we'll eat.

She's a keeper.

I know.

So, what have you kids been up to?

Nothing.

If only you knew.

All right, class, today is a movie day!

Yes!

It's a documentary. No!

About the legendary Old West heroes Buffalo Jack Coffee

and his sidekick Dave with a Y.

Uh, sidekick?

But first, I'd like to introduce you to a new student.

Please welcome Jane.

I've had such a good time with you guys,

but it feels so good to get back to normal.

Yeah, you can say that again.

I'm ready to chill and relax.

Lisa, Jane, Dave, Chip,

you have to come with us at once.

Where?

Doc and his boys have managed to cause havoc in the future.

And we need your help to stop them.

Who are you?

Lisa, I'm you from the year 2030

and this is Jane.

Howdy.

Where's future Chip?

Right here, buddy.

Hey, what about me?

'Sup.

Yeah, that can't be right.

We've already saved the past,

you guys up for saving the future?