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1
00:00:02,586 --> 00:00:05,339
- All right. Now that
the popsicle's melted,
2
00:00:05,631 --> 00:00:07,341
we've got ourselves
a tongue depressor.
3
00:00:07,633 --> 00:00:08,860
- I wanted you to look
at these cold sores.
4
00:00:08,884 --> 00:00:10,111
I get them when
I'm stressed out.
5
00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:11,512
- Nothing to be ashamed of.
6
00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:13,180
I get them from prostitutes.
7
00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:14,792
- I just had a hard
couple months.
8
00:00:15,057 --> 00:00:16,517
Work has been crazy,
9
00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:18,101
and I went through
a bad breakup.
10
00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:19,102
And then there
was this plastic bag
11
00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:20,062
that represented my death...
12
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,998
- sounds like you
could use a little R&R...
13
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,273
Rum and ritalin.
14
00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:25,335
- Actually, I was hoping
you'd just have an ointment
15
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:26,485
for my mouth.
- Gross.
16
00:00:26,777 --> 00:00:27,879
- 'Cause I'm dealing
with the stress thing.
17
00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:28,612
Over the break,
I'm renting a cottage
18
00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:29,947
out in the Hamptons.
19
00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:32,279
There's just four things I
want to do this summer...
20
00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:34,117
Be outdoors, wear
shapeless clothing,
21
00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:36,161
do some mindless
activity like gardening,
22
00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:37,454
and learn Spanish.
23
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:39,390
- There are four things I
want to do this summer.
24
00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:41,375
But they're
roommates, so it's tricky.
25
00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:44,086
All right, here
is a prescription
26
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:45,379
for your cold sores,
27
00:00:45,671 --> 00:00:47,589
and here's a blank
one for the weekend.
28
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:48,881
Now, one final thing.
29
00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:50,425
Why aren't you wearing pants?
30
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,362
- The other doctor
told me to take them off.
31
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,387
- Other doctor?
32
00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:55,639
[Laughs] That's
my brother Randy.
33
00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:58,141
Tomorrow he's going to
jail for the rest of his life.
34
00:00:58,433 --> 00:00:59,726
[Chuckles] Good one, Randy!
35
00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:03,313
Hey, you want to go
to taco bell for lunch?
36
00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:06,275
[Exciting jazz music]
37
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:14,567
♪ ♪
38
00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:23,292
[Knock on door]
39
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:24,668
- Hey...
- Stop right there.
40
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,640
I know that people
are feeling sorry for me
41
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:28,880
because my wife was
kidnapped by Kim Jong-Il.
42
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:31,133
- I know...
- But I do not need your pity.
43
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:34,136
And I am tired of
hearing that tone of voice.
44
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,846
- Aw...
- Hey...
45
00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:37,472
- Hey, buddy...
46
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,516
- Hey, I know what
you're going through.
47
00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:41,476
I once kidnapped a woman.
48
00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:43,228
- I know...
49
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,440
- Stop talking like that, Lemon.
- I'm trying to,
50
00:01:45,564 --> 00:01:47,232
but I'm kind of
locked in, sweetie.
51
00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:49,735
The voice is controlling me now.
52
00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:51,027
Help me?
53
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,238
- Look, obviously
this has been difficult.
54
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:54,823
I'm not sleeping.
55
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,491
Last night I sat
in front of the TV
56
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:59,536
and ate an entire
carton of foie gras.
57
00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:03,081
I can hardly drink my
morning shower scotch.
58
00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:04,458
I miss Avery.
59
00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:06,335
It's the little
things I miss most.
60
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:07,919
On a day like this,
61
00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:10,130
we would go to strawberry
fields in central park
62
00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:13,300
and kick hippies' hacky
sacks into the bushes.
63
00:02:13,592 --> 00:02:17,012
- Look, you need to reset
and try to feel normal again.
64
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,306
- Normal? I don't know
what normal is anymore.
65
00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:21,475
- "Normal" is a
woman and a woman
66
00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:23,352
getting married
and having a child.
67
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:24,804
- What?
- Is me being a bummer
68
00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:25,872
helping you feel
like your old self?
69
00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:27,439
- Keep going.
- Bush is a war criminal!
70
00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:29,411
There's so much texting
going on these days
71
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:30,859
and no communicating.
72
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:31,860
Carbon tax!
73
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,152
- Please leave!
74
00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:34,905
- That's the spirit.
75
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:38,659
Well, I'm off.
76
00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:40,911
Have a good summer, Jenna.
- Oh, I will.
77
00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:42,496
Do you remember when I performed
78
00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:44,057
during halftime
at the wool bowl?
79
00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:45,165
It was on ESPN-34.
80
00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,918
♪ You can't spell "america" ♪
81
00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:51,171
♪ without w-0-0-I ♪
82
00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:53,840
♪ it's all better in wool ♪
83
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:55,384
- A singer, everyone!
84
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:58,553
- Woolly the wool
mascot, everybody!
85
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,722
[Marching band plays]
86
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,200
The sponsors were
so happy with me
87
00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:05,102
they're now naming me the
new celebrity face of wool.
88
00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:06,812
- How exciting!
89
00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:09,773
Every year my aunt sends me
a wool sweater for Christmas.
90
00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:13,026
We get it, aunt
Alice. You're a sheep.
91
00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:15,195
- Also, this is very lucrative.
92
00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:18,281
Paul and I can finally buy
that timeshare in Betasten Bos,
93
00:03:18,573 --> 00:03:20,826
Amsterdam's premier
private sex garden.
94
00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:22,638
They have genetically
altered men there
95
00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:25,038
with minotaur heads that
chase you through the brambles.
96
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:27,374
- Okay. Well, good-bye,
97
00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:31,128
my closest female friend.
98
00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:33,880
Oh, my god.
99
00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:36,717
The season's over. Why
are you losers still here?
100
00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:38,008
- Final melee, Liz.
101
00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:38,969
It's the last game of the season
102
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:40,887
and no one wants to lose.
103
00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:42,806
- You have no summer plans?
104
00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:45,138
- Well, David eggers and
I are designing a new font.
105
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,309
- Ugh, shut up.
106
00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:48,687
Frank, you have a girlfriend.
107
00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:50,331
- And Lynn wants me
to give up video games
108
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:51,755
'cause she thinks
I need to grow up.
109
00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:52,983
How's this for growing up?
110
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:54,275
Last night for dinner
111
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:57,487
I put milk in my apple Jacks.
112
00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,740
- Ha! I distracted
you, and you died.
113
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:01,408
Game over.
- No, I shot my bazooka
114
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:04,011
at the ground to kill myself
'cause Toofer had me cornered.
115
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,871
Now I respawn and start over.
116
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:07,539
- So you're killing yourself
117
00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,291
rather than let
someone else win?
118
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:10,983
- That's why
everyone has zero kills
119
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,711
and we've been
playing for 18 hours.
120
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:15,088
- I'm wearing a diaper,
like a baby would.
121
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,799
- Wow. I can't wait
to get out of here.
122
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:21,094
For three months.
It's gonna be glorious.
123
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,472
[French pop music]
124
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:27,017
♪ ♪
125
00:04:27,309 --> 00:04:28,852
Mmm.
126
00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:30,562
- Hi, neighbor. I'm Ina Garten.
127
00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:32,355
You know, my
husband Jeffrey is away,
128
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:34,733
and I've got some bruschetta
and white wine open.
129
00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:37,944
Why don't you come over?
- I'm alive!
130
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:42,157
All I have left is to pay
the fine that I incurred
131
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:43,784
for committing a hate crime
132
00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:47,412
against what the city is now
claiming was a Jewish tree.
133
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:48,704
And I'm free.
134
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:49,789
Have a great summer.
135
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,276
I'm not one for
good-bye speeches,
136
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,585
but I do feel...
137
00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:54,877
Lutz, what are you doing?
138
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,880
- [Straining] Don't look at me.
139
00:04:57,172 --> 00:04:58,507
Mm.
140
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:01,885
- Jenna, this is a great day
141
00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:03,177
for the wool council.
142
00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:04,513
- Well, I am very proud
143
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,348
to be your new spokeswoman.
144
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,683
You know, in the past, I
was the face of Clinique,
145
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:11,019
a French-Canadian
anal rejuvenation clinic.
146
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:14,856
And I was the feet
of filthylittlefeet.Com.
147
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,566
- Yes, well, about that.
148
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:18,902
Jenna...
149
00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:21,655
Wool is a wholesome fabric,
150
00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:24,699
which is why your contract
includes a morality clause.
151
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,076
You will be required
152
00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:27,888
to conduct your
personal life in manner
153
00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:29,454
which is consistent
with the values
154
00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:30,455
of this industry.
155
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:32,582
- Oh, of course.
156
00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,042
- We're just a little worried
157
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,294
about publicity like this.
158
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,423
- No, Eugene, that's
not just some guy
159
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:42,217
I picked up at a dog bar.
160
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:44,678
Paul and I are in a
committed relationship.
161
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,096
- Is he a cross dresser?
162
00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:49,140
- [Laughing] Goodness, no!
163
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:52,477
Paul is a gender-dysmorphic
bigenitalian pansexualle.
164
00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:53,937
- I see.
165
00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:56,648
Maybe we should take a
few days and think about this.
166
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:58,149
- No. Whenever men say that,
167
00:05:58,441 --> 00:05:59,441
I never see them again.
168
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:01,236
You just need to meet Paul.
169
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:04,155
Our relationship is
everything that wool is about...
170
00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:06,283
Love, warmth,
171
00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:09,077
chafed skin.
172
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,912
♪ Oh, noble sheep ♪
173
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,789
♪ we eat your babies ♪
174
00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:15,000
♪ we use your brain ♪
175
00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,918
♪ to fight off rabies ♪
176
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:20,881
♪ but the most beautiful
gift you give us ♪
177
00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:24,843
♪ is wool ♪
178
00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:30,098
- All right, Jenna.
I'd love to meet Paul.
179
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,034
Let's say dinner tomorrow
night at your place.
180
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:32,601
I'll bring my wife.
181
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:33,893
- Excellent.
182
00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:35,186
- I should warn you...
183
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:38,940
This had better be
a very normal dinner.
184
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,818
No hijinks, no farce,
and not just for the sake
185
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,838
of your relationship with
the national wool council,
186
00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,238
but for the sake of my wife,
187
00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:47,130
whose parents were
killed in front of her
188
00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:49,242
while an episode of
three's company was...
189
00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:51,703
You know what? I'll let
her tell the story at dinner.
190
00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:55,081
Wool-come, Jenna.
191
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,627
- Sherry, who was at the door?
192
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,021
Kenneth, what are you doing?
193
00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:01,963
- Well, I know your
wife was kidnapped
194
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,357
by some convenience
store owners,
195
00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:04,581
and I'm real sorry about that.
196
00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:05,754
- I'm not looking for pity.
197
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:08,720
- Pity? Oh, sir, back
in stone mountain,
198
00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:11,056
people lose their
spouses all the time.
199
00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:13,391
Mumps, hill people attacks,
200
00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:16,811
cave collapses, both
business and residential.
201
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:17,771
Continuing my list...
202
00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:20,023
- Kenneth, what do you want?
203
00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:21,358
- When someone needs help,
204
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,290
we don't waste time
feeling sorry for 'em.
205
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:24,486
We help them.
206
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:29,407
And you seem like you could
use a home-cooked meal.
207
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:31,993
- [Inhales]
208
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,037
Oh, that smells delicious.
209
00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:36,122
- It's an old Parcell
family recipe.
210
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:38,667
But I like to replace
the union soldier meat
211
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,669
with boiled potatoes.
212
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,201
- I haven't eaten at this table
213
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:45,006
since Avery's been gone.
214
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,298
That was her chair.
215
00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:50,804
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- No, please sit.
216
00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:54,849
You two have
similar-shaped buttocks.
217
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,144
- [Clears throat]
218
00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:00,146
Deer god,
219
00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:02,023
thank you for this venison.
220
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:04,317
Onion god, thank
you for these onions.
221
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:08,154
Carrot god, thank
you for the carrots.
222
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,908
- Spanish for older
women, lesson 12.
223
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,535
Emergencies.
224
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:17,914
"Disaster approaching."
Desastre inminente.
225
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:19,791
- Desastre inminente.
226
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:21,083
[Glass shatters]
227
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,877
- Fore!
228
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,546
- What?
- Oh, my god!
229
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:28,133
Liz? It's Tracy! From work!
230
00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:28,842
- What are you doing here?
231
00:08:29,134 --> 00:08:31,094
- I just bought everything
around this house.
232
00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:33,013
It's supposed to be a nice area,
233
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:36,141
except for the "new element"
everyone keeps talking about.
234
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:38,101
Look, I got a long night
235
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:39,578
of shooting guns in
the air ahead of me.
236
00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:40,882
Do you mind if I
take a nap here?
237
00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:43,189
- Of course! You're my neighbor.
238
00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:46,109
I wanted a normal summer,
and chaos is my normal.
239
00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:48,153
- If I start screaming
in my sleep,
240
00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:49,445
do not wake me up!
241
00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:51,823
I will attack you!
242
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:52,824
[Snores]
243
00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:54,325
- [Sighs]
244
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:57,078
- [Screams] Wake me up!
245
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:58,788
Free me from this!
246
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,206
[Snoring]
247
00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:02,625
[Screams]
248
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,047
- Ah, Kenneth.
249
00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:08,607
Thank you for dinner last night.
250
00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:09,991
It was nice to hear
a woman's laugh
251
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:10,800
in the house again.
252
00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:12,177
- [Laughs]
253
00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:13,970
You're bad.
254
00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:16,139
- I thought maybe we
could do it again tonight.
255
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:17,974
- Oh, sir, I'd love
to, but I can't.
256
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:20,143
- Why not?
- Well, I have to work.
257
00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:20,894
Now that the crew is gone,
258
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:23,106
I like to give everything
a good spring cleaning,
259
00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:24,272
starting in the bathroom.
260
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:25,815
There's a lot of drawings
261
00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:27,227
of Ms. Maroney eating celery
262
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,402
that men are giving
to her with their hips.
263
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:30,779
- I see.
264
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,864
Well, another time, perhaps.
265
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:34,908
I'll just be alone...
266
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:36,451
In a house full of memories.
267
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:39,996
- My house is full of
white cockroaches.
268
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:44,477
[Door slams shut]
- Hi, sweetie!
269
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,503
- I got you an early
anniversary present.
270
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:48,439
It's a new leash for when I
walk you through the park
271
00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:49,923
like a dog.
- [Gasps]
272
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:53,093
- The weather's supposed to
be nice and muddy tomorrow...
273
00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:54,594
What's wrong?
- Look...
274
00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:56,304
I'm the face of wool now.
275
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:57,865
I need to maintain
a certain image.
276
00:09:57,889 --> 00:10:00,225
- So, what, we
can't be ourselves?
277
00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:01,518
- Just not in public.
278
00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:03,353
We can do whatever we want here.
279
00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:05,605
Except tonight.
280
00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:07,899
Mr. Gremby is
coming over for dinner.
281
00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:09,943
- Eugene Gremby
from the wool council?
282
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:11,715
Tonight?
- I just want him to meet you
283
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:12,945
and see us together.
284
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,615
Then he'll get it. He'll
understand what we have.
285
00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:17,492
But the grembys are
pretty conservative.
286
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:18,952
Maybe you should change.
287
00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:21,621
- Really? This is a
conservative top, Jenna.
288
00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:23,456
And I hate to be the
stereotypical man,
289
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:26,709
but this is my home and
I wanna wear this blouse.
290
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:29,212
- Paul, please.
You need to change.
291
00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:31,131
- Okay, I'll change.
292
00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:33,133
And I'll cancel the
sitter for tonight,
293
00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:37,595
tell him he won't need
to come sit on us after all.
294
00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:42,225
- Oh, you just made a very
dangerous enemy, Kenneth.
295
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:43,744
- Thanks for the
heads-up, Jonathan.
296
00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:45,979
Do you wanna come
to my birthday party?
297
00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:48,273
What are you
doing? That's my job.
298
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:49,750
- Uh, Jonathan
volunteered to clean up
299
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:51,877
so you could come over
again tonight, right, Jonathan?
300
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:54,112
- But, sir, it's not
just the bathrooms
301
00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:55,404
that need cleaning.
302
00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:59,075
- That's why
Jonathan's family is here.
303
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:03,872
Uh, Liddy goes down at
7:00, so I'll see you then.
304
00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:05,623
- Oh, my.
305
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,335
[Gunshots]
306
00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:10,627
[Door creaks open]
307
00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:11,795
- Liz Lemon.
308
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:13,638
- Any idea when your
party will be over, tray?
309
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:14,836
- The party hasn't started.
310
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,342
That's just the guys setting up.
311
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:17,778
Could I borrow a cup of sugar?
312
00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:18,946
I'm trying to get a hummingbird
313
00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:20,096
to drink out of my penis.
314
00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:21,388
- I can't do this, Tracy.
315
00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:22,867
This is supposed
to be my vacation.
316
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,326
I wanted to spend
it learning Spanish,
317
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,518
not living next door to you.
318
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:28,188
I give up. Of course I'm not
allowed to be a human being.
319
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:29,856
- Oh, I'm sorry.
320
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:30,773
You didn't wanna live
next door to your friend
321
00:11:31,065 --> 00:11:32,650
after all I've done for you?
322
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:35,403
How many times have I come
over and painted your apartment?
323
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,295
- Three! And by the
way, stop doing that.
324
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:39,115
- Or maybe you're
saying we're not friends.
325
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:40,533
That's fine.
326
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:44,204
I don't think it'll affect
my behavior next season.
327
00:11:44,495 --> 00:11:46,414
[Radio static]
328
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,875
- "The sad woman has
been trapped by the idiot."
329
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:51,377
La mujer triste...
[Voice distorted]
330
00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:52,921
- We're friends.
331
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,253
Next year's gonna be fine,
332
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:54,756
'cause we're good friends.
333
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:57,800
We're sp... Spending
the summer together.
334
00:11:58,092 --> 00:12:01,888
- Great! I'll come over
tomorrow morning!
335
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,605
- Okay, well,
336
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,541
since you've just been
staring at me like that
337
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:13,858
for the last 20 minutes,
338
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,390
I'm gonna scoot on out of here.
339
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:17,445
- Don't go, Avery.
340
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:18,738
Uh, I mean Kenneth.
341
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:19,656
- [Laughing] Sir.
342
00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:21,324
You called me "Avery."
343
00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:23,326
That's your
kidnapped wife's name.
344
00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:24,786
What a coincidence!
345
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,663
- I haven't slept in days.
346
00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:28,331
I'm not really
feeling like myself.
347
00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:29,832
You know, in the evening,
348
00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:31,834
Avery and I would
sit together and talk.
349
00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:33,336
It was a nice way to unwind.
350
00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:34,628
- Well, I bet you miss...
351
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:37,423
- Put on these earrings.
352
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:46,849
So... tell me about your day.
353
00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:49,852
- Well, I got a soft
yes from Jonathan
354
00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:51,896
about my birthday party.
355
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:54,983
Then I went to a very
uncomfortable dinner.
356
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,902
- Do you know what I did today?
357
00:12:58,194 --> 00:12:59,755
Tried to be strong, sat
alone with my thoughts,
358
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,489
then...
359
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,866
I went to a wonderful dinner.
360
00:13:04,158 --> 00:13:06,911
- Then the dinner ended?
361
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:08,830
- [Softly] No.
362
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:14,377
- So, Paul, what do you do?
363
00:13:14,669 --> 00:13:17,213
- I am in the
restaurant business,
364
00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:20,842
and I really love...
365
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,511
Golf-playing.
366
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,763
- Is that so? What's
your handicap?
367
00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:27,473
- Oh, well, I don't
have one myself,
368
00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:30,518
but I do like a
girl with a limp.
369
00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:37,942
[Laughter]
370
00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:40,777
- Oh, Paul.
371
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:41,987
- So, Mrs. Gremby,
372
00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:43,865
you're also named "Eugene"?
373
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,867
- Oh, no, dear. It's
"u" period "Jean."
374
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,535
My first name is U. Jean
375
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:50,538
with a "u."
376
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:51,830
- [Laughs]
377
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:53,207
- [Chuckles]
378
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,669
- Oh, that's a nice blouse.
379
00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:58,147
It definitely goes
with your eyes,
380
00:13:58,171 --> 00:13:59,630
don't you think, Jenna?
381
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:00,965
- Golf, blouses.
382
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:02,842
I'm just so impressed
with how normal
383
00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:04,802
this dinner has been.
384
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:06,094
Very wool!
385
00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:07,555
[Bang on door]
386
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:08,931
- Greetings, slaves!
387
00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:11,017
Who's ready to get sat on?
388
00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:13,853
- Uh, sir, I don't
know who you are,
389
00:14:14,145 --> 00:14:15,247
but you are not wanted here.
390
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:15,772
Didn't you get my text?
391
00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:17,648
- I thought it was
part of the game.
392
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:18,983
- We are good people
393
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:19,817
who have no interest
in being sat on!
394
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:22,779
So don't spew your statistics
395
00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:24,548
on the health benefits
of weekly sittings
396
00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:26,783
or its wide acceptance
in eastern cultures.
397
00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:28,075
- Paul.
- We're normal!
398
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:29,952
And being normal is American,
399
00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:33,706
and it's respectable,
and it makes us...
400
00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:34,998
Happy.
401
00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:37,585
Now get out of here.
402
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:38,877
[Door slams shut]
403
00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:40,087
- Well done, sir. Bravo.
404
00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:42,590
You handled that
pervert with aplomb.
405
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,842
Very wool.
406
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,135
- [Claps]
407
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:49,305
- To tomorrow's
photo shoot and wool.
408
00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:58,523
- Shh! Shh, shh, shh.
409
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:05,756
- Unbelievable.
You're still here.
410
00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:07,949
- It's still zero, zero, zero.
411
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:08,616
- To zero.
412
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,660
I did it.
413
00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:11,494
I spoke.
414
00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:12,995
- This didn't get mailed.
415
00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:14,306
- What are you doing here?
416
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:15,748
Shouldn't you be
out in the Hamptons
417
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,417
not getting invited to stuff?
418
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:18,918
- I came back for the day.
419
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:20,962
Tracy lives next door to me.
420
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,880
I can't leave, I can't stay.
421
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,465
I'm trapped.
422
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,193
- Speaking of
trapped, I got you, Lutz!
423
00:15:26,217 --> 00:15:26,843
- Nope, grenade.
424
00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:28,135
Blowing myself up.
425
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,430
- Oh, my god.
426
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:32,473
That's what I have to do.
427
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,976
I can be a normal person.
428
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:38,479
I have to blow myself up.
429
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,251
No, your honor, I'm
not disputing the fine.
430
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,734
I'm refusing to pay it.
431
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:45,820
Grenade, respawn.
432
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:47,872
- Miss... I mean, ma'am,
read the fine print.
433
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,991
If you don't pay, I
can sentence you to
434
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:51,826
up to three weeks
of community service.
435
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,453
- How about three months?
436
00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:55,455
This is a sham, your dis-honor.
437
00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:57,081
Nay, a mockery!
438
00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:59,500
I've put the system on trial.
439
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,127
You can't handle the truth.
440
00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:02,899
I'm out of order?
You're out of order.
441
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,047
Victor Sifuentes! Hoo-ah!
442
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:06,757
- Gavel, gavel, gavel!
443
00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:08,152
I lost my gavel
over the weekend,
444
00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:10,096
but it doesn't mean you
can talk to me like that.
445
00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:11,929
- Talk to who? I just
see an empty robe.
446
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:14,682
- Do you honestly not see
me, or are you being rude?
447
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,602
- I am being rude.
- That's it.
448
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:19,228
Twelve weeks of
community service.
449
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,814
You'll spend your whole
summer picking up trash.
450
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:23,858
Gavel, gavel, gavel!
451
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,902
- Freedom!
452
00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:27,737
For me. Probably not you guys.
453
00:16:28,029 --> 00:16:31,240
- Mr. Donaghy,
where are my clothes?
454
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:32,992
- Sherry must've
put them in the wash
455
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,284
while you were showering.
456
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,454
Now, give us a twirl.
457
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:38,915
- This is not right, sir.
458
00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:40,893
- Now, what do you say you
put on some of Avery's perfume
459
00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:42,543
and we head over
to strawberry fields
460
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,104
and whip pennies
at the drum circle?
461
00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:47,840
- I don't like to swear,
sir, but, no, thank you.
462
00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:49,985
Now, maybe I haven't had
a wife who was kidnapped,
463
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,136
but I have seen the Brady bunch
464
00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:53,763
where tiger runs away.
465
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:58,017
We've all been through
some bad stuff, Mr. Donaghy.
466
00:16:58,309 --> 00:17:01,646
- I had the perfect woman.
467
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:02,939
Gorgeous.
468
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:05,024
Brilliant.
469
00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:07,652
Always let me be
the hat in monopoly.
470
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:09,737
Why is this happening to me?
471
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,073
God, are you punishing me
472
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:13,805
because my hair
is better than yours?
473
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:16,077
- All right, sir, enough.
474
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:17,912
You wanted me to
be Mrs. Donaghy?
475
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,831
Well, I know Mrs.
Donaghy, and she is mean.
476
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:23,834
- She once made Rahm
Emanuel cry in an airport lounge.
477
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:25,753
- So fine. I will
be Mrs. Donaghy.
478
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,089
And I'm gonna say...
479
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:29,924
Listen to me, Jack.
480
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:30,841
You don't want
people to pity you?
481
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,761
Well, they should,
because you're pitiful.
482
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,764
You think you're all alone.
"Boo-hoo, why can't my life
483
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,057
be the way it was?"
484
00:17:38,349 --> 00:17:39,725
Well, it can't.
485
00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:42,103
And you're not alone.
You have a daughter
486
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,146
you should be spending time with
487
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:45,758
instead of being
weird to Kenneth.
488
00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:49,235
He may be a chinless
piece of human garbage,
489
00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:52,238
but he will never fill the void
490
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,031
that I left behind.
491
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:55,783
Oh, look, here he comes now.
492
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,261
He's gonna ask me to
go to his birthday party.
493
00:17:57,285 --> 00:17:58,786
"Hi, 'Mrs. Dongy.'
494
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,788
you wan' come on
down my birfday party?"
495
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,749
No, I can't, but I
know Jack can.
496
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:06,377
- Kenneth, Kenneth, I get it.
497
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:12,133
Uh, Sherry? Put
Liddy's baby pantsuit on.
498
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:13,968
I'm taking her to
work with me today.
499
00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,761
- All right, Mr. Donaghy.
500
00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:18,222
- And, uh, thank you.
501
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,891
Avery.
502
00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:27,398
- Here's to you, Jenna Maroney.
503
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:28,107
Even with your back to me,
504
00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:30,735
I can definitely tell it's you.
505
00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:32,827
- [High-pitched voice]
I'll turn around later.
506
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,905
- Perfect. I'll keep talking.
507
00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:38,743
Mm, wool.
508
00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:42,121
You know, my wife
U. Jean is out of town
509
00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:43,914
visiting her parents' graves.
510
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:45,642
Maybe we could
meet later for a drink
511
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,209
and you could
show me your front.
512
00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:48,669
- We could do that...
513
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,212
[Regular voice] Now!
514
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:51,172
- Paul?
515
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:52,798
- And Jenna.
516
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:54,175
- Oh, my god!
517
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:55,707
- I'm finally taking a stand...
518
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:58,054
After all these days.
519
00:18:58,346 --> 00:18:59,430
You wanted us to be normal.
520
00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:01,724
Well, this is our normal,
521
00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:06,479
and this is what we think
of your morality clause.
522
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,023
Both: [Moaning]
523
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:10,858
- Mm, give mommy some beard.
524
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:11,651
- Ugh!
525
00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:13,861
- Oh, you got some
crumbs in here.
526
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,196
- Oh, eat it.
527
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:22,411
- Good god! Lemon?
528
00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:24,872
Liddy, say "good god, Lemon."
529
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,999
- Goo gah, Lem.
530
00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:29,919
- I did it, Jack. I got
my dream vacation!
531
00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:31,211
- You're on a chain gang.
532
00:19:31,462 --> 00:19:33,273
- I'm outdoors, I'm
wearing comfortable clothes,
533
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:35,424
I'm gardening, and
I'm learning Spanish!
534
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:38,844
- [Speaking Spanish]
535
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:44,517
- [Speaking Spanish]
536
00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:46,894
- Uh, Liddy and I just
went to strawberry fields,
537
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:50,773
where she spat up on
a white lady's dreads.
538
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:52,584
It's nice to see that we're back
539
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:53,776
to our version of normal.
540
00:19:54,068 --> 00:19:57,113
[Barking, sniffing]
541
00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:58,781
- Jenna?
- Oh, Jenna, no.
542
00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:01,200
- There you are! Bad dog!
543
00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:02,952
You'll go in the crate tonight.
544
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:05,287
- Grr.
- Ew.
545
00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:06,579
- Hey, Jack. Hey, Liz.
546
00:20:06,789 --> 00:20:08,833
- [Barks]
- Ow!
547
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:10,167
- Fore!
548
00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:11,460
Hey, guys!
549
00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:14,338
It's me! Tracy! The
black guy from work.
550
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:15,881
- What are you doing?
551
00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:17,234
- I hooked a ball onto a truck
552
00:20:17,258 --> 00:20:18,458
on the long island expressway.
553
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:21,137
And Tracy Jordan
does not take mulligans.
554
00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:23,347
Good thing you had to
move out of that house.
555
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:26,225
Some idiot rammed his
boat that I was driving into it.
556
00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:27,893
- [Giggling]
557
00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:29,437
- [Chuckles]
558
00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:33,566
- You see all the
good that is in them,
559
00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:35,443
how much capacity for love?
560
00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:38,237
Yes, I know.
561
00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:40,197
I just need more time with them.
562
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:42,575
Give me more time, Jacob,
563
00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:44,452
I beg of you!
564
00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:52,021
- Nope, I see you.
I'm killing myself.
565
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:53,251
Respawn.
566
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,087
[Video game gunfire, groaning]
567
00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:57,882
- Respawn.
- Oh, damn it.
568
00:20:58,174 --> 00:21:01,051
[Gunfire]
569
00:21:03,053 --> 00:21:04,053
- Hola, everyone!
570
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,807
Are you ready for season six?
571
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:10,478
Oh, my god.
572
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,813
- Wait, how long
have we been here?
573
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:17,193
[Video game gunfire continues]
574
00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:18,903
All: [Bickering]
40187
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