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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,465 --> 00:00:07,465 Oh, miss Lemon, 2 00:00:07,633 --> 00:00:09,343 you have several messages. 3 00:00:09,635 --> 00:00:11,362 Let's see, that company running the bike tour 4 00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:12,826 in south Carolina says, "no singles." 5 00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:14,208 Okay. Uh, your credit card called. 6 00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:15,575 They wanna make sure you're the one 7 00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:16,934 buying cream soda in bulk. 8 00:00:17,226 --> 00:00:18,227 I sure am. 9 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:19,519 And your landlord called. 10 00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:21,450 And he said it is not the toilet, it's you. 11 00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,065 That's his opinion. 12 00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:24,691 Oh, and Jean 13 00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:26,044 from your high school reunion committee called. 14 00:00:26,068 --> 00:00:27,420 They want to know if you're coming this weekend. 15 00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:28,820 No. No way. 16 00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:29,738 Oh, you have to go. 17 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,157 My high school reunion was so much fun. 18 00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:34,409 Hey there, Michael. 19 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:37,454 Oh, my god, Phil Barror. 20 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:41,333 Hello, Teniqua. 21 00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:43,043 You gotta go to your reunion. 22 00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:44,044 You get to get back at everybody 23 00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:45,754 who ever messed with you. 24 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,048 You said I'd never amount to anything! 25 00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:49,633 Look at me now! 26 00:00:49,925 --> 00:00:51,593 Look at this necklace! 27 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,720 Sir, this is a school for deaf girls. 28 00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:55,365 (Jenna) And I definitely would have gone to my reunion. 29 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:58,100 But the boat I was educated on sank. 30 00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:02,187 Well, I wouldn't have fun, so I'm not going. 31 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:05,065 Kathy... over here. 32 00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:06,692 Ka thy 33 00:01:06,984 --> 00:01:08,378 (Jonathan) We shouldn't have to go through this, sir. 34 00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:09,682 You are doing the job of the CEO. 35 00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:11,446 It should be you 36 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,299 on the cover of the quarterly report. (Jack) It will be. 37 00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,325 If Kathy's father ever comes out of his coma. 38 00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:17,262 Until then, the board has put her in charge, 39 00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:18,406 and we need to respect that. 40 00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:19,681 What if something happened to her? 41 00:01:19,705 --> 00:01:20,831 Something bad! 42 00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:24,001 Then we would have a secret that bound us together. 43 00:01:24,293 --> 00:01:25,544 What is she doing? 44 00:01:27,713 --> 00:01:28,713 I don't know. 45 00:01:28,964 --> 00:01:31,383 (Jack) Either a weather event is approaching, 46 00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:33,010 or... 47 00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:38,348 Get me Jack Donaghy. 48 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:42,060 [Exciting jazz music] 49 00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:44,229 ♪ ♪ 50 00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:00,162 [Horns honking] 51 00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:10,422 How come there ain't no Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?! 52 00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:13,675 They got every race and life-form in the galaxy, 53 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,177 except for Puerto Ricans. 54 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,929 What's up with that? [Ding] 55 00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:22,684 What is this, the local? 56 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,561 [Laughter] 57 00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:29,650 [Loud whisper] He woke up! 58 00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:32,361 Geiss woke up. What?! 59 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:35,364 Yes! 60 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,449 Mwah! What's that flavor? 61 00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:39,993 It's dove age-fighting acne cream. 62 00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:41,662 Oh. Geiss is awake? 63 00:02:41,953 --> 00:02:43,455 You're gonna be CEO. 64 00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:44,081 Yes! 65 00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:45,653 I was the first person he called. 66 00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:49,294 Well, his French-Canadian mistress, and then me. 67 00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:51,481 I'm meeting him in one hour on the Edison terrace. 68 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:52,923 I did it, Lemon. 69 00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:54,424 I got the brass ring. 70 00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:58,178 And I couldn't have done it without... my lucky coin. 71 00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:00,389 Well... 72 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,099 I'm happy for you. 73 00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:03,951 You're having your reunion this weekend? 74 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,603 I wish I had a Princeton reunion right now. 75 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:08,980 Wipe that smug smile off Michelle Obama's face. 76 00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:10,416 Am I the only person around here 77 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:11,520 that doesn't like reunions? 78 00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:12,928 Don't tell me you're not gonna go. 79 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,671 This may come as some surprise to you, Jack, 80 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,947 but I was kind of a lonely nerd in high school. 81 00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:17,781 And if I remember correctly, 82 00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:19,658 you were a good deal more... uh-huh. 83 00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:20,950 Yeah, it was hell for me. 84 00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:22,316 I just wanted to be left alone, 85 00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:24,809 but I guess every high school has people like Kelsey winthrop. 86 00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:27,249 Hey, Liz, how's the telescope? 87 00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:29,334 [Mumbles indistinctly] 88 00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:31,586 [Laughter] 89 00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,231 Ugh, the only people that are gonna go to this thing 90 00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:34,935 are people like her and her stupid friends. 91 00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:36,299 The cool, pretty crowd. 92 00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:38,635 Well, that's you now, Lemon. 93 00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:39,927 You run a hit TV show, 94 00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:41,458 you have very impressive friends. 95 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,155 You found a hairstyle that works for you, 96 00:03:43,265 --> 00:03:44,683 so long as it's not too humid. 97 00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:46,953 And you're telling me that you don't have the confidence 98 00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:49,062 to face a bunch of whittling, jug-blowing, 99 00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:50,354 IHOP monkeys? 100 00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:52,482 Jack, it's a suburb of Philadelphia. 101 00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:54,654 Lemon, you will go and show that Kelsey winthrop 102 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,570 that the ugly duckling has turned into 103 00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:59,489 a vaguely ethnic swan. 104 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:01,199 No, I'm not going. 105 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:03,452 I'd never get a rental car now anyway. 106 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:04,864 Well, then, take the ge jet. 107 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:06,580 The CEO insists. 108 00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:07,872 [Chuckles] 109 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,416 They have popcorn on the plane. 110 00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:11,668 I want to go to there. 111 00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:17,674 [Mild gasp] 112 00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:21,178 Mr. Geiss, it is very good to see you 113 00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:22,471 up and about, sir. 114 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,556 Yes, Jackie boy, 115 00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:26,224 I think you know why you're here. 116 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,226 Congratulations. 117 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:31,396 You are the first to know, officially, 118 00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:34,065 that I'm staying on as CEO. 119 00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:35,650 I'm sorry, what did you say? 120 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:38,236 A beam of energy came and spoke to me 121 00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:39,528 during my coma. 122 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:40,363 Oh, no, no, no. 123 00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:41,698 I don't know what it was. 124 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:44,409 It could have been an alien. Maybe it was god. 125 00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:47,037 Maybe it was an unborn aztec King. 126 00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:50,332 But it told me my work here is not yet done. 127 00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,501 Oh, it's done. I think it's done. 128 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:55,504 You're still my choice to take over when I die, 129 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,547 if that ever even happens. 130 00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:58,924 Ha ha. 131 00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:09,267 Tray, why are you in your angry chair? 132 00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:10,879 Because Kenneth got a bigger laugh 133 00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:12,312 in the elevator than me today. 134 00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:14,397 And where were you two?! 135 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:16,449 Your job is to protect me from embarrassment. 136 00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:17,877 Grizz had to go to the optometrist. 137 00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:19,820 Making up words won't save you. 138 00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:21,589 Okay, we're getting on the elevator with Kenneth, 139 00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:24,908 and you're going to laugh at my jokes. 140 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,579 (Jack) Hey, hey 141 00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:30,871 I'm so glad I found you. 142 00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:32,099 There's been a change of plans. 143 00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:33,375 Geiss is staying on as CEO. 144 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:34,751 What?! 145 00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,753 A beam of energy told him to. 146 00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,485 [Strained chuckle] That's fun, right? 147 00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:40,033 And instead of running everything, 148 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,333 I'm going back to my old job. 149 00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,301 So the standards department is telling me 150 00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:44,261 you can only say "cat anus" twice 151 00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,313 during the show, but I'm gonna fight for you. 152 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,365 You can say it three times. 153 00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:48,807 Cat anus, cat anus, cat anus! 154 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:50,100 Are you okay? 155 00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:51,434 I have to be. 156 00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:53,395 What are my other options? Cry? Wallow? 157 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:54,729 If I do that, 158 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,189 Geiss and the beam win. 159 00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:58,942 If I control my feelings, I win. 160 00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:01,528 Jeez, Jack, tough year. 161 00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:03,780 First William f. Buckley dies, now this. 162 00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:05,323 Next stop impotence, right? 163 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,576 [Laughter] 164 00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:12,080 So since we don't have the jet, I guess... 165 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:13,432 No, no, you're still going to your reunion. 166 00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:14,791 Nothing changes, I rented a jet, 167 00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,394 and I'll drop you off on my way to Miami. 168 00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:17,752 Why are you going to Miami? 169 00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,204 Why does anybody go to Miami? 170 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,423 Ass and the burgeoning art scene. 171 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,049 I gotta blow off some steam. 172 00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:25,886 Come on, let's go have some fun. 173 00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:28,847 [Wind whistling] 174 00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:32,326 I'm sorry you're stuck in white haven. 175 00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:35,896 Boy, it was something landing in this storm, huh? 176 00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:38,148 Listen, about some of the stuff that I said... 177 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:41,109 One time I laughed at a blind guy eating spaghetti! 178 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,820 Sometimes I pee in the shower if I'm really tired! 179 00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:46,114 I saw my grandparents making love once, 180 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,241 and I didn't leave right away! 181 00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:51,870 He didn't give it to me. 182 00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:53,431 All that work, all that sacrifice. 183 00:06:53,455 --> 00:06:54,039 Why did I bother? 184 00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:57,709 I know, but remember, don't let him win. 185 00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:58,460 Cat anus. 186 00:06:58,752 --> 00:06:59,752 I don't know who I am. 187 00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:01,129 Jack... I don't know where I am. 188 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,131 I know it's not Miami, 189 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:04,883 but you can blow off steam here. 190 00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:06,676 We have a lovely n.C. Wyeth museum. 191 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:08,696 Actually, some meth addicts burned that place down 192 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:09,220 last August. 193 00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:11,014 Well, there are excellent restaurants 194 00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:12,974 down on cabot street. 195 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:14,786 Uh, the Vietnamese immigrants took over 196 00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:16,436 all of those places. 197 00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:18,497 I wouldn't recommend going to little Hanoi after dark 198 00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:19,707 unless you're wearing a Khan dong. 199 00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:20,851 Why don't you just direct me 200 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,859 to the bar? 201 00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:24,311 I'm sorry, sir, no bars here. 202 00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:25,904 We've been a dry county since 1880. 203 00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:29,240 It's the one tradition that remains. 204 00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:31,117 But do you like methodist churches 205 00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:34,788 full of Vietnamese? Give me the key. 206 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,665 [Ding] 207 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,960 Hey, elevator, what's this? 208 00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:42,379 A ghetto mating call. 209 00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,047 [Grizz and Dotcom laugh] 210 00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:46,132 [Laughter dies out] 211 00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:48,259 [Ding] 212 00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,596 [Chuckles] 213 00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,932 Wow, I didn't get the memo. 214 00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:56,101 [Laughter] [Ding] 215 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,647 Jeesh, buy a guy a drink first. 216 00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:01,939 [Laughter] 217 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,668 This place is bigger than my apartment. 218 00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,735 [Laughter] 219 00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:11,032 [Dance music] 220 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:19,165 ♪ ♪ 221 00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:25,797 A Manhattan, please. 222 00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:27,169 Sure. What kind of bourbon? 223 00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:30,218 A white wine spritzer, please. 224 00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:37,851 Kelsey winthrop. 225 00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:42,313 I think Danvers has a bar. 226 00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:43,605 To get there, you just go 227 00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:45,213 straight down ngo dinh diem boulevard 228 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:47,527 until you see a sign that says "detour." 229 00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:49,070 Now ignore that. It's a trap. 230 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,823 And then you want to get on route nine going west 231 00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:53,115 about 30 miles. 232 00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:54,701 Does the reunion have a bar? 233 00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:57,787 [Dance music] 234 00:08:58,079 --> 00:09:00,373 ♪ ♪ 235 00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:01,708 Kelsey? It's Liz Lemon. 236 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,711 [Chuckles] Oh, my god! 237 00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:06,296 Yeah. Surprising. 238 00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:09,674 But cocoon, and then flap, flap, flap... butterfly. 239 00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:13,428 Wow, I did not think you'd come. 240 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,138 Well, I almost didn't. 241 00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:18,767 I was in Manhattan, working in the fast Lane... 242 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,227 You made life a living hell for everyone here! 243 00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:23,104 You would have to come to the reunion 244 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,790 and make us go through it all again. 245 00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:25,148 What? 246 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,067 You know, I tried to befriend you 247 00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:28,943 just so you'd leave me alone. 248 00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:31,071 Hey, Liz, how's the telescope? 249 00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:34,491 I don't know, Kelsey. How's your mom's pill addiction? 250 00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:37,702 What are you talking about? I was a nerd. 251 00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:38,994 You were a bully! 252 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,997 We were all afraid of you. 253 00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:42,707 We called you the white haven witch. 254 00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:45,001 (Woman) Lemon?! Oh, Erin, no! 255 00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:46,586 Don't sink to her level. 256 00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:49,380 This is a beauty Mark. 257 00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:52,342 But you thought it was funny to say that god pooped on me. 258 00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:54,028 I didn't think anybody was listening to me. 259 00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:57,263 I was a nobody. You were homecoming queen. 260 00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,974 I have had years of therapy... 261 00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:00,809 Kel... kels, 262 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,393 your facial tic. Oh! 263 00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:04,020 You brought it back! 264 00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:05,688 You happy? 265 00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:09,150 And I still got the mulch business. 266 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,002 It's hard work, but I'm outside all day, 267 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,655 and I don't answer to anyone. 268 00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:17,075 Excuse me, can I ask you a question? 269 00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:18,367 Sure. 270 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:19,828 Are you happy? 271 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,120 Well, I got a boat, good friends, and a trampoline. 272 00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,163 You tell me. 273 00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:24,517 That's the life, right? [Chuckles] 274 00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:26,793 What are you doing here? 275 00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:28,085 I'm getting drunk. 276 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,379 Lemon, would you buy my mulch? 277 00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:30,671 I don't know, Jack. 278 00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,132 I just found out that I was a jerk 279 00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:33,424 in high school. 280 00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:35,343 Yeah, turns out I'm not the lovable nerd. 281 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,220 I was the bully you hate. 282 00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:39,139 This is mostly spit. 283 00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:41,933 Hello, Elizabeth. 284 00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:44,060 It's Rob sussman. 285 00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:45,663 Still think I am "gayer than the volleyball scene" 286 00:10:45,687 --> 00:10:46,687 in top gun"? 287 00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:48,273 No, we... we were friends. 288 00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:49,605 No, I just said that stuff 289 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,776 to try to make it okay for you to come out. 290 00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:53,068 Come out of what?! 291 00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:55,363 I'd like you to meet my wife, 292 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,324 with whom I've raised three beautiful dogs. 293 00:10:58,616 --> 00:10:59,325 Oh, boy. 294 00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:01,161 I cannot deal right now. 295 00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:04,247 I'm so mad, all I can do is dance. 296 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,459 Ugh, even Rob sussman hated me? 297 00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:10,420 He was the first gay guy I ever kissed. 298 00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:13,339 What is wrong with these people? Nothing. 299 00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:14,631 They're good Americans. 300 00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:16,557 Hey, Lemon, check this out. I just made it up. 301 00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:19,512 The three Bs: Beers, boats, and buds. 302 00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:21,055 Doesn't that sound great? 303 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,308 Are you having a stroke? No. 304 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,852 No, all my life I thought I made good choices, 305 00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:27,687 but am I happy? 306 00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:29,939 These people are happy. I envy them. 307 00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:32,650 I wish I was one of them. 308 00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:35,445 Larry? Larry Braverman? 309 00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:37,030 Yes. 310 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,074 I am Larry Braverman. 311 00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:45,078 Larry Braverman. Aah! 312 00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:46,414 No one has seen you 313 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:47,706 since what... graduation. 314 00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:50,210 Man, you are still, like, the coolest guy ever. 315 00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:51,861 Hey, you still got that old Camaro? 316 00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:54,923 No, no, it finally broke down. Oh, man... 317 00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,091 Yeah, from having too much sex in it! 318 00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:58,383 Oh, you bro! 319 00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:00,220 [Laughter] That's awesome. 320 00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:02,555 Hey, let's go out in the parking lot 321 00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:03,847 and do donuts! 322 00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:04,992 You know, just like in the old days. 323 00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:06,976 Yeah. Yeah. Let's do it. Come on. 324 00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:08,603 Come on. 325 00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:09,895 Let's do some donuts. 326 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:10,813 How is this working? 327 00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:13,691 You are 12 years older than everybody here. 328 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:15,777 Lemon, rich 50 is middle-class 38, okay? 329 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,446 Jack... no, no, I don't want to be Jack Donaghy anymore. 330 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:19,738 I'm Larry now. 331 00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:21,550 That's one thing that Don Geiss can't take away from me. 332 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:22,676 Now, are you gonna be leaving soon? 333 00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:23,886 'Cause you're kinda harshin' everybody's buzz 334 00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:24,910 around here. 335 00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:26,161 No, I'm not gonna leave. 336 00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:27,932 Sure, I said some dumb things in high school, 337 00:12:27,956 --> 00:12:28,956 but I have changed. 338 00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:30,643 I'm gonna turn this thing around, Jack. 339 00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:33,670 Show everybody the good, kind person I've become. 340 00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:34,962 Go home, Lemon! 341 00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:38,341 No way, new friend. 342 00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:42,387 Jenna, we're the most important people here, right? 343 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:44,514 Well, of course, Tracy. We're actors. 344 00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:46,450 If we didn't exist, how would people know who to vote for? 345 00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:48,314 And people around here shouldn't take attention 346 00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:49,518 from us, should they? 347 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:50,728 No. Never. 348 00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:52,522 Attention is what gives us power. 349 00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:54,625 If someone threatens that, you have to put a stop to it. 350 00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:55,929 Wait, who are you worried about? 351 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,902 Is it Allison from wardrobe's baby? 352 00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:00,113 What is up with that thing? 353 00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:01,030 So she can put her feet in her mouth. 354 00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:03,074 So can I. 355 00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:05,451 It's not the baby. It's Kenneth. Kenneth?! 356 00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:07,996 Are you crazy? 357 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,039 Come on. He knows his place. 358 00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:12,041 And he worships us. Yeah... 359 00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:13,333 He does. 360 00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,461 Come on, you know we're the big dogs around here. 361 00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:20,591 Hey, let's go throw a tantrum about the air-conditioning. 362 00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,094 That sounds really nice. 363 00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:24,887 [Snidely] Lemon! 364 00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:26,723 Ugh! 365 00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:29,767 Larry? 366 00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:31,311 Larry... 367 00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:32,770 It's me, Jessica. 368 00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:34,981 I can't believe you're here. 369 00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:36,941 You never answered my letters. 370 00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:39,861 I... I didn't know what to say... 371 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,821 Because of, you know... 372 00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:44,073 The things. 373 00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:45,605 I hate the way we ended, Larry. 374 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,827 I am so, so sorry for what happened. 375 00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:51,372 I forgive you... Jessica. 376 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,708 Really? 377 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,169 Even for... especially for that. 378 00:13:56,461 --> 00:14:00,673 Say what you said to me that night at the lake. 379 00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:04,177 No. 380 00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:08,931 [Dance music] 381 00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:12,393 ♪ ♪ 382 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:13,685 Guys? 383 00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:16,647 I just want to say I'm so, so sorry 384 00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:17,982 if I ever made you... 385 00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:18,816 Really, Liz? 386 00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:21,444 20 years too late and way too little. 387 00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:22,945 Ooh, hello. 388 00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:23,780 Would you please leave us alone. 'Cause you know what, 389 00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,823 we're trying to have fun tonight. 390 00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:27,450 That's my point. I've changed. 391 00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:28,742 New Liz is fun. 392 00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:31,496 I don't ruin parties. I get 'em going. 393 00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:35,208 Look, let's all do the Diane. 394 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,256 What is wrong with you?! 395 00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:43,925 Diane? 396 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:46,469 ♪ ♪ 397 00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:48,054 [Ding] 398 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,059 Hi. 399 00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:55,812 Could you hit four, please? 400 00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:58,606 Next stop, Kansas City. 401 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:01,943 [Laughter] 402 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:05,196 Oh, you are so funny. 403 00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:06,155 They should put you on the show. 404 00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:10,034 [Laughter] 405 00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:11,536 ♪ Did you ever know ♪ 406 00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:15,706 ♪ that you're my hero ♪ 407 00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:21,129 ♪ and everything I would like to be-e-e ♪ 408 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:21,838 Singing in the elevator. 409 00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:24,215 It's like a road trip to the sky! 410 00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:26,467 ♪ 99 bottles of beer on the wall ♪ 411 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,279 [People join in] ♪ 99 bottles of beer ♪ 412 00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,138 ♪ you take one down, pass it around ♪ 413 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,750 ♪ 98 bottles of beer on the wall ♪ 414 00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:33,015 [Jenna screaming] 415 00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:35,101 Kenneth is a monster! 416 00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:36,978 We have to stop him! 417 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:40,148 ♪ ♪ 418 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,901 I want you all to know how happy I am right now. 419 00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:45,838 Being here with you people has helped me more 420 00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:47,238 than you can know. 421 00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:48,948 To us! 422 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,283 Oh, man, look at us! 423 00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:52,827 It's just like we're back in high school, right? 424 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,799 You know what was always my favorite thing? 425 00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:57,874 Seven minutes in heaven. Oh! 426 00:15:58,166 --> 00:15:59,959 You always got the bottle to land on me. 427 00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:01,478 Think you still have the touch? 428 00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:02,211 Oh, yeah. 429 00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:03,504 Do it! Come on! 430 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,089 Come on, Braverman! 431 00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:09,051 (All) Do it, do it, do it... 432 00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:10,720 What are we all doing? 433 00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:12,555 (All) Boo! 434 00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:15,725 [Sighs] 435 00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:17,768 Just to be clear, we're not making out. 436 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,729 That would be social suicide. 437 00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:22,482 Like I even want to be here in this closet at this reunion. 438 00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:23,773 It's a nightmare. 439 00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:25,234 A nightmare for whom, Lemon? 440 00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,904 If these jagweeds don't want to get to know the nice new me, 441 00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:30,364 then screw them and their rapidly yellowing teeth. 442 00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:32,576 Wow, Lemon, you really haven't changed, have you? 443 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,327 Excuse me? 444 00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:35,286 What happened when I told you Geiss had screwed me over 445 00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:36,578 for the CEO job? 446 00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:37,848 Did you offer your help as a friend? 447 00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:40,291 Or did you make some joke about me being impotent? 448 00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:41,292 Jeez, that was, like, eight hours ago. 449 00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:44,003 I was just, I don't know, cutting the tension. 450 00:16:44,295 --> 00:16:46,398 Or, as always, were you hiding behind your sense of humor 451 00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:47,757 instead of engaging in a real way? 452 00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:51,010 Really, I'm the one that's hiding, Larry Braverman? 453 00:16:51,302 --> 00:16:51,928 There it is, right there. 454 00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:53,846 When you feel threatened, you attack. 455 00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:56,265 That's why you're almost 40 and you're still alone. 456 00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:57,637 At least I'm not 50, alone, 457 00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,043 and sitting on 2,000 business cards 458 00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:00,520 for a job I'm never gonna get. 459 00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:01,938 What did you say? Yeah. 460 00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:04,398 Your bags were delivered to my room by accident. 461 00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:05,900 Look what I found. 462 00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:07,512 You went to a printer, didn't you? 463 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:09,403 You picked out a font. 464 00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,948 You paid extra for a rush order. 465 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,700 It was your happy, little secret. 466 00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:17,870 [Crying] Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing? 467 00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:20,039 Why is she so mean? 468 00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:23,376 (Man) What'd you do to bra verman?! 469 00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:25,753 She's awful. She's the gay one! 470 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,171 Oh... 471 00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:29,298 Here's your lunch, Mr. Parcell. 472 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:30,758 Just the way you like it. 473 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,261 Ham sandwich with the works, hold the bread. 474 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:34,553 But that's my job. 475 00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:35,346 This studio hosted 476 00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:38,474 the kraft television theater in the 1950s, 477 00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:41,978 where young writers like Paddy Chayefsky and Rod Serling 478 00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:43,312 first Rose to prominence. 479 00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:45,606 Mr. Jordan, why are you giving a tour? 480 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:48,138 It doesn't feel good when someone does your job, does it? 481 00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:49,610 I don't understand. 482 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,672 I don't like it when you do jokes in the elevator. 483 00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:52,697 That's my job. 484 00:17:52,989 --> 00:17:54,365 Oh, lord, I didn't know. 485 00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:56,826 I would never do anything to hurt you. 486 00:17:57,118 --> 00:17:58,369 You're my best friend. 487 00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:01,706 We're not really best friends. We're just good friends. 488 00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,124 I just want you to stop. 489 00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,334 I will. I will. 490 00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:06,669 [Sniffling] 491 00:18:06,961 --> 00:18:08,296 Uhh, I'm so sorry, miss Morone. 492 00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:09,797 No, keep crying. 493 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,257 I want you to feel this 494 00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:12,818 so you never make this mistake again. 495 00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:16,345 [Crying] 496 00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:19,223 And for traveling the farthest distance, 497 00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:21,642 it's David Messinger! 498 00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,395 [Applause] Hey, Larry, 499 00:18:24,687 --> 00:18:26,206 we've got this plan to get back at Liz, 500 00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,470 and we wanna know if you're in... we're gonna Carrie her. 501 00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:31,152 Like the movie. It will be delicious. 502 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:34,447 And now, for best school spirit, 503 00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:35,739 it's Liz Lemon! 504 00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:38,117 Come up onstage, Liz! [Applause] 505 00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:40,494 Uh, no, thanks. I don't want it. 506 00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,186 It comes with a $50 gift certificate 507 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:43,664 to ♪ outback steak house ♪ 508 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,916 I want to go to there. 509 00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:49,462 [Serene music] 510 00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:56,886 ♪ ♪ 511 00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:08,606 [Audio slowed down] Wait... 512 00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:10,316 Wait! 513 00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:11,651 Wait, we cannot do this. 514 00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:14,612 We cannot Carrie Liz Lemon. 515 00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:16,697 Oh, not okay, guys! 516 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,366 (Jack) We all know 517 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:19,158 that Liz Lemon has her faults, 518 00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:20,450 but no one's perfect. 519 00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:22,703 I mean, I'm certainly not perfect. 520 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,035 Don't say that, Braverman! 521 00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:25,498 You're more than perfect. 522 00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:26,790 No, no, no, it's true. 523 00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:28,417 I've made mistakes. 524 00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:29,960 Sacrificed happiness for a job 525 00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:31,521 I don't think I'm ever going to get. 526 00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:32,880 We all have ways of coping. 527 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,591 I use sex and awesomeness. 528 00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:36,883 [Cheers and applause] 529 00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:37,468 Braverman! 530 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:39,637 Lemon here hides behind her insults, 531 00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:41,514 but that's not who she is. 532 00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:43,432 She's a good person... 533 00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:45,559 Whom I'm honored to call my friend. 534 00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:48,604 [Applause] 535 00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:54,610 Thank you, Larry. 536 00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:56,222 And I'm sorry I lashed out at you. 537 00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:57,724 You will need those cards someday. 538 00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,365 Larry, 539 00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:01,577 we're all so happy to have you back in our lives. 540 00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,661 But me especially. 541 00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,633 Because there's someone I want you to meet. 542 00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:08,165 Larry... 543 00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,376 This is your son. 544 00:20:10,668 --> 00:20:11,669 I am not Larry Braverman. 545 00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:13,313 I repeat, I am not Larry Braverman! 546 00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:14,337 I am Liz Lemon's 547 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,090 platonic friend, Jack Donaghy. 548 00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:17,591 Lemon, come on, let's go. 549 00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:20,636 [All booing] 550 00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:23,097 Once and for all, I want to say I'm sorry. 551 00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:26,726 [Booing] 552 00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:29,437 You know what, suck it, you whittling IHOP monkeys! 553 00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:30,729 Lemon, the jet's waiting. 554 00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:33,149 That's right, a jet, to New York city! 555 00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:34,734 Lemon, out! 556 00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:37,486 [Booing] (Man) Braverman! 38575

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