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1
00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:06,900
We're at a party, Lemon,
try to loosen up a little.
2
00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:07,924
How could I loosen up?
3
00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:09,575
I'm in Connecticut,
I haven't eaten,
4
00:00:09,635 --> 00:00:11,845
and I'm stressed about
an "away toilet" situation.
5
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:13,347
Do you know how lucky we are?
6
00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:15,641
We are in Gavin Volure's home.
7
00:00:15,933 --> 00:00:17,893
He was the C.E.O. of Sunstream.
8
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:19,520
Yeah, I don't know what that is.
9
00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:20,938
Is this potpourri or chips?
10
00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:22,373
'Cause I'm gonna try to eat it.
11
00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:23,857
Volure is a god.
12
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:25,669
He was the first man
to be on the cover
13
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:28,070
of fortune and jet
magazine at the same time.
14
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,006
Of course, that was
back when jet was actually
15
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,198
about jet ownership.
16
00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:32,908
That magazine took a weird turn.
17
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,284
These are not chips.
18
00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,411
Then he fell off the
face of the earth,
19
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:37,703
sold Sunstream,
20
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:39,373
and shut himself
off from the world.
21
00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:40,683
They say he hasn't left his home
22
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:41,959
in almost three years.
23
00:00:42,251 --> 00:00:43,710
Well, I hope he
shows up for dinner.
24
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:46,547
He's already here.
25
00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:48,173
[Applause]
26
00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:50,259
Thank you all for
coming tonight.
27
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,803
Because of my severe agoraphobia
28
00:00:53,095 --> 00:00:55,722
and my debilitating wealth...
29
00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:57,182
[Laughter]
30
00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,017
I am forced to bring
the world to me,
31
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:02,854
and host dinners for interesting
people from all walks of life.
32
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:06,024
The world of fashion, society,
33
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:07,476
art collecting and yelling...
34
00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:08,836
Why isn't there any
good art in here?
35
00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:09,860
Come on!
36
00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:11,392
Business and historical fiction.
37
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:12,572
Really?
38
00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:14,378
What if the Germans
had won the war, Lemon?
39
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:15,158
And the arts.
40
00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:16,702
I'm glad Jack was able
41
00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:17,661
to bring you, Liz.
42
00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:19,673
I asked him about you
after I saw your photo
43
00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:21,707
in the style section
of the New York times.
44
00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:24,710
[Upbeat music]
45
00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:26,545
Funny story, I was
only wearing that
46
00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:29,381
because the fire alarm went
off while I was getting a haircut.
47
00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:31,383
Well, you looked beautiful.
48
00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:32,675
And, as always,
49
00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:34,553
I keep one chair empty,
50
00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:38,223
to represent our unfulfilled
hopes and dreams.
51
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:39,600
I'm just kidding,
52
00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:41,160
eliot spitzer's hooker
couldn't make it.
53
00:01:41,184 --> 00:01:41,768
[Laughter]
54
00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:43,220
Now, I want to send my driver
55
00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:44,539
into Manhattan
to pick up dessert.
56
00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:45,748
Anybody know a good
place for cupcakes?
57
00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:46,812
I think there's a place...
58
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:47,524
McEnroe, give me a break.
59
00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:48,816
I'm on it.
60
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:51,194
77th and Amsterdam,
68th and Columbus,
61
00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:53,363
125th and president
Clinton boulevard,
62
00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:54,781
also, don't over think it,
63
00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:56,700
Sara Lee, frozen, unbelievable.
64
00:01:56,992 --> 00:01:59,244
[Exciting jazz music]
65
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:04,708
♪ ♪
66
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,056
[Phone ringing]
67
00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,391
Mr. Jordan, what are
you still doing here?
68
00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:23,644
I don't want to go home, Ken.
69
00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:26,813
You know my two sons,
Tracy, Jr. and George foreman?
70
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:30,942
They've been acting
really weird lately.
71
00:02:34,905 --> 00:02:36,239
Where you going?
72
00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:39,451
Nowhere.
73
00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:45,248
Those two have never
paid me any attention.
74
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:46,667
And rightly so.
75
00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:49,169
I'm a strange man who
can't be taken seriously.
76
00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:51,338
Now they won't let
me out of their sight.
77
00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:53,799
Oh, maybe they love you. Nope.
78
00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:55,759
Look what the
little one made me.
79
00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:57,051
Aw, that's cute.
80
00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,887
This is voodoo, Ken!
81
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,722
Those two are up to something.
82
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:04,643
Sometimes, kids act out
when there's a big change.
83
00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:05,935
I know I was a handful
84
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,355
when my family moved
from our farm house
85
00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:10,649
to that militia
camp in the woods.
86
00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:12,734
Well, there is all this
new money coming in.
87
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,506
And it's not just
from the video game.
88
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:16,738
It's the tie-ins, the toys,
89
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,782
the life-sized Tracy
Jordan sex doll.
90
00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:20,784
They're selling like
hotcakes in Japan.
91
00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:22,786
Well, you know what they say,
92
00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:24,371
money is the root of all evil.
93
00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:26,331
I thought that
was just a tagline
94
00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:28,834
for my movie, DEA th bank.
95
00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:32,754
I can't believe you're
out of the game.
96
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,464
It's like Picasso not painting,
97
00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:36,758
or Bruce Willis not
combining action
98
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,050
and rock harmonica.
99
00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:38,844
Don't you miss it?
100
00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:40,136
I do.
101
00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:42,764
That's why I'm forming
a new company.
102
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,056
Here's the pitch,
103
00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:45,308
wind power,
104
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,352
bandwidth, Chinese market.
105
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:48,644
Oh, god.
106
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,089
I'm funding the
whole thing myself.
107
00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:51,398
Partners, oy.
108
00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:54,024
Jack...
109
00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:54,693
You're drooling.
110
00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,505
If you want in, I'll
make a little room
111
00:03:56,695 --> 00:03:57,695
and pull some strings.
112
00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:58,821
[Gasps]
113
00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:00,550
This is the most
exciting day of my life.
114
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:01,634
And I was pulled onstage once
115
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,618
to dance at a Bruce
Springsteen concert.
116
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:04,910
Welcome aboard.
117
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:05,620
Just think,
118
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:06,931
this time next year,
you'll be so rich
119
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:08,623
you can run for political office
120
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,810
without having to pretend
to be a fundamentalist.
121
00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:11,835
Jack, the car is here.
122
00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:13,211
Oh.
123
00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:14,504
Liz...
124
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:15,796
Thank you for coming.
125
00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:17,079
I really enjoyed your cupcakes.
126
00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:18,341
Ah.
127
00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:20,433
And because my
agoraphobia-related germ issues
128
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:21,754
prevent direct human contact,
129
00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:24,931
I wonder if Carl here might
say good night to you for me?
130
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:26,516
Carl?
131
00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:28,727
Good night, Liz.
132
00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:31,730
I hope to see you again soon.
133
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,149
Okay.
134
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:35,441
Good night.
135
00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:40,822
Guys, listen up...
136
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,532
I just got a memo,
137
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:43,885
saying that every
floor in the building
138
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:45,549
has to designate a
floor emergency marshal
139
00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:47,037
for fires, terrorist attacks,
140
00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:48,329
Cloverfield monsters.
141
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,832
I can't do it, because my
head is too big for the helmet.
142
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,667
So any volunteers?
143
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,061
No, but you have a big head.
144
00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,085
[Laughs]
145
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,088
That's not a burn,
I just said that.
146
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:58,399
Hey, guys. [Phone ringing]
147
00:04:58,423 --> 00:05:00,383
Cerie, is my phone ringing?
148
00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:02,093
It is.
149
00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:04,429
Wow, you have, like, dog ears.
150
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,890
So are you going to...?
151
00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:08,390
Okay.
152
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:11,102
Hello?
153
00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:12,103
Hey, Liz.
154
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:12,896
It's Gavin Volure.
155
00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:14,856
Oh... hi.
156
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:15,774
Listen, I only took that napkin
157
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:17,734
because I wrapped
some chicken in it.
158
00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:19,106
That's not why I'm calling.
159
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,199
I just had a good time
with you the other night,
160
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:23,949
and I wondered if you'd like to
come out again this Saturday?
161
00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:25,384
Are you having another party?
162
00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:26,409
No.
163
00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:27,953
Oh.
164
00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:29,245
Well...
165
00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:31,127
This must be what the
kids call "a Booty call."
166
00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:33,291
I haven't been out of
the house since 2004,
167
00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:36,002
and even I know the kids
don't call it that anymore.
168
00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:37,879
So, uh, what do you say?
169
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,048
Um, yes.
170
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:40,924
I guess. Right?
171
00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:41,925
Okay
172
00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:43,552
I'll send a helicopter
173
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,124
to take you to
the train station.
174
00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:46,387
Okay.
175
00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:47,764
Bye.
176
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:50,517
[Dial tone]
177
00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:52,644
What the what?
178
00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:57,315
[Channels changing]
179
00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:59,047
(Male forecaster)
Well, it's gonna be
180
00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:00,336
a beautiful sunny
day, and we can expect
181
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,821
much more of the same
over the next few days.
182
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,257
(Male news reporter)
Authorities came to believe
183
00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:07,200
that the Menendez brothers
acted out of pure greed.
184
00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:09,244
The only thing
standing between them
185
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,788
and tremendous weal th was...
186
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,080
What?
187
00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:14,164
Say it!
188
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,208
(Reporter) Their father.
189
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,209
Jose Menendez.
190
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,878
[Suspenseful music]
191
00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:19,671
My kids are going to kill me!
192
00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:22,257
[Suspenseful music]
193
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:23,258
♪ ♪
194
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,051
Ooh.
195
00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:30,217
Kenneth, what are you doing?
196
00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:31,432
Ah, hello, sir.
197
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,354
I've been taking in laundry
to make extra money.
198
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,186
I just don't let myself
read the t-shirts
199
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,063
with off-color slogans.
200
00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:38,398
Laundry, Kenneth?
201
00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:39,970
I know we pay you a living wage,
202
00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:41,191
I fought against it.
203
00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:42,277
Yes, sir...
204
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:43,278
But I've had to send
more money home lately.
205
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,572
There are problems on the farm.
206
00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:48,116
After years of inbreeding,
the pigs are getting violent.
207
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,368
And the pig shield around
the house has worn thin.
208
00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:51,077
Kenneth,
209
00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:53,330
how much money do
you have in your savings?
210
00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:55,081
Well, let's see.
211
00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:57,042
$80,000.
212
00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:58,769
If you don't include
confederate money?
213
00:06:58,793 --> 00:06:59,793
$4,000.
214
00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:02,213
I'm going to
invest that for you.
215
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:03,048
A friend has presented me
216
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:04,820
with a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity,
217
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:06,259
and I want to include you.
218
00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:08,553
Oh, Mr. Donaghy. Thank you, sir.
219
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:09,885
After I invest this money,
220
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:13,892
you'll be able to buy
your folks a pig moat.
221
00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:16,226
Well, that would be great
222
00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:19,689
if pigs weren't
excellent swimmers.
223
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:22,150
Jack.
224
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,945
Gavin Volure just
called and asked me out.
225
00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:26,236
I mean, in...
226
00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:27,363
For the weekend.
227
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,447
I thought he might.
228
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:29,650
He asked if we were involved,
229
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:30,116
I said you used to
have a thing for me,
230
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:31,568
but you were getting over it.
231
00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:33,328
That is what's happening, right?
232
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:34,620
Yeah.
233
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:35,704
Listen...
234
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,248
I kind of told him I'd go.
235
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:38,780
You should, what's the problem?
236
00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,561
I don't know, I'm still
tired from that dinner.
237
00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:42,128
And meeting someone new, ugh.
238
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,589
All the nodding and
smiling and sibling listing.
239
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:45,881
And what's the upside?
240
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:47,892
It works and you have
to have a bunch of sex?
241
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:49,219
Lemon, what do you want?
242
00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:50,947
Do you want to be alone
for the rest of your life?
243
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,722
No, I just wish I could
start a relationship
244
00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:54,057
about 12 years in,
245
00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:55,785
when you really don't
have to try anymore
246
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,209
and you can just
sit around together
247
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,437
and goof on TV shows,
and then go to bed
248
00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:01,439
without anybody trying
any funny business.
249
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:02,851
Lemon, don't overthink this.
250
00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:04,359
Gavin is a fabulous guy.
251
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,712
If I were dating a man, he
would be the top of my list
252
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:09,280
with Michael Jordan, Denzel
Washington, Taye Diggs...
253
00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:11,950
God, do I have a black thing?
254
00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:13,576
I do like him.
255
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,179
Lemon, you're going
to go to Gavin's,
256
00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:16,389
and you're going
to work this thing
257
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:17,413
like a Chinese gymnast.
258
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:18,849
Wear something
tight, force a smile,
259
00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:20,875
and lie about your age.
260
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:28,675
Hey, guys.
261
00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:31,469
Daddy's home.
262
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:35,348
Don't Menendez me.
263
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,517
Aah!
264
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,898
We made the hockey team.
265
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,817
[Screeching tires]
266
00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:48,403
(Gavin) And, uh,
this is the study.
267
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:49,695
This is interesting,
268
00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:51,674
uh, one of these benches
is a priceless work of art,
269
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,324
and the other is
an ordinary bench
270
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:54,616
from which to admire it.
271
00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:56,411
Which one's which?
272
00:08:57,746 --> 00:09:00,415
Hm. So you just
never leave this house?
273
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,042
I'm afraid not.
274
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:03,543
And it does get lonely.
275
00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:05,995
I'd be lying if I told you I
never danced with a broom.
276
00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:07,169
That's nothing, sometimes,
277
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,174
to feel like I have
company during dinner,
278
00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:12,052
I dispute credit card
charges on speaker phone.
279
00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:13,511
Thanks for coming out.
280
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,388
I know my situation
is complicated,
281
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,016
but I really enjoyed your
company the other night.
282
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:20,518
I had a great time too.
283
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:23,021
So with your agoraphobia,
284
00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:25,523
how does this work?
285
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,942
Well, it's not easy.
286
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,394
We can never leave the house,
287
00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:31,863
and we'd just probably
sit around all weekend
288
00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:33,155
and watch TV.
289
00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:34,365
Go on.
290
00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:35,885
There's not much else
to do up here but eat,
291
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,744
and read celebrity
gossip on the Internet,
292
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,162
and nap the day away.
293
00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:40,663
Really?
294
00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:43,374
And unfortunately,
because of my phobias,
295
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:46,628
we could never be
physically intimate.
296
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,630
I know.
297
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,465
What woman would want all that?
298
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,550
Um...
299
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:53,842
Oh, hello, Kenneth.
300
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,095
Please, sit down.
301
00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:56,826
I'm sorry to bother
you, Mr. Donaghy.
302
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,265
But I've got another
$10.00 I'd like to invest.
303
00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:02,393
I did some street performing in
my neighborhood this weekend.
304
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:05,480
[Herbie Hancock's rockit]
305
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:08,525
♪ ♪
306
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:10,693
Kenneth, I'm very proud of you.
307
00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:12,195
Next stop, home ownership.
308
00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:13,487
I'm just kidding.
309
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:15,651
The middle class is dying,
you'll be renting forever.
310
00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:18,660
Um, let's just call my broker.
311
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,537
[Phone ringing]
312
00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:21,955
Hey, Jack. Hey, Walter.
313
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:23,516
I just want to check
on that investment
314
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:24,540
I made on Friday.
315
00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:25,869
All right, let's pull it up.
316
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:26,960
[Typing]
317
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:28,795
Um, that account was closed out.
318
00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:30,130
What?
319
00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:31,816
Yeah, zero balance
as of this morning.
320
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:32,983
I don't know what
that hot tip was,
321
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:34,151
but you'd have been better off
322
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:36,594
putting that money
in a coffee can.
323
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,888
Hi, Walter.
324
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:41,558
This is Kenneth Parcell,
NBC page program.
325
00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:45,854
What's the status
of my investment?
326
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,439
[Foreboding music]
327
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:50,567
Gavin, this was wonderful.
328
00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:53,820
I really enjoyed watching
mtv Canada with you.
329
00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:55,196
Yeah.
330
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:56,841
They can't seem to get
anything right up there,
331
00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:57,574
can they?
332
00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:58,866
I hope you'll come back.
333
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,743
Maybe next weekend?
334
00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:02,620
I'd like that. Me too.
335
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,581
Well, I should go.
336
00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:06,475
Do you have everything?
Do you have your cell phone?
337
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:07,625
Oh, um...
338
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:08,418
Oh...
339
00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:09,878
Nerds, where is it?
340
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,254
Oh, uh,
341
00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:12,690
there it is in the other room.
342
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:13,714
Carl...
343
00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:15,508
Could you get Liz's
cell phone for her
344
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,040
so I can say a proper good bye?
345
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:18,428
Thanks, buddy
346
00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:22,223
anyway, I just...
347
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:28,021
We don't have
much time, Liz. What?
348
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:29,832
Look, Liz, I've
decided I can trust you,
349
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:31,083
so I'm going to
tell you the truth.
350
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:32,734
I'm not really an
eccentric agoraphobe,
351
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,253
I just tell people that
so they won't know
352
00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:35,717
I'm under house
arrest for tax fraud.
353
00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:36,946
And arson.
354
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:38,364
Volure.
355
00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:40,408
Ah, the wind must've
blown it shut, Carl.
356
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,535
I'm searching for the key.
357
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:43,912
Carl's a U.S. marshal.
358
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,414
Come, before they shoot.
359
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:49,751
[Groan]
360
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,503
I thought Derek was upstairs.
361
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:55,423
I miscounted the men, Liz!
362
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,592
I miscounted the men!
363
00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:00,946
Gavin, it's Jack, please
call me immediately.
364
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:02,639
Also that joke answering
machine message
365
00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:03,556
makes me really
think you've picked up,
366
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:05,326
so I start talking,
and then it beeps,
367
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:08,144
and, uh, I feel like a fool.
368
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:09,854
Hey, your friend is a crook.
369
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,689
He's under house
arrest for tax fraud,
370
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:13,942
embezzlement, and racketeering.
371
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,818
What is racketeering?
372
00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:17,110
No one knows, Lemon.
373
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,277
And he's not a germaphobe!
374
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:20,466
I thought I was helping him
when I let him hold my boob
375
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:21,741
while we watched top chef.
376
00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:23,451
Oh, I'm sorry. You should be.
377
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:24,743
You made me go up there.
378
00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:26,073
Well, I'm going to fix this.
379
00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:26,871
I'm going to get
Kenneth his money back
380
00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:28,163
and for you,
381
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:29,642
I'm going to hit
Gavin Volure harder
382
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:31,751
than a bottle of
whiskey in an Irish wake.
383
00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:33,043
Tracy,
384
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,170
get out of the hallway.
385
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:35,713
Or am I?
386
00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:37,590
Oh, god, this dream again?
387
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:38,883
That's not me.
388
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:41,302
That's the Tracy Jordan
Japanese sex doll.
389
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:42,754
You can tell us apart because
390
00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:45,056
it's not suffering from
a vitamin deficiency.
391
00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:46,659
Other than the
natural inclination
392
00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:48,810
to make love to yourself,
why did you get this?
393
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,102
To use as a decoy.
394
00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:51,396
So my greedy children
395
00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:52,730
will murder it,
396
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,899
and I'll be able to
escape UN-menendezed.
397
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:56,985
This is insanity. Or is it?
398
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:58,557
The parallels
between the Jordans
399
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,113
and the Menendi are uncanny.
400
00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:02,198
Both families are rich,
401
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:04,701
both families have two sons,
402
00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:08,204
and both families are
staples of court TV.
403
00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:10,456
Money does make
people crazy, look at Gavin.
404
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:12,268
And he doesn't have
the life-long scarring
405
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,626
of an absentee father.
406
00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,712
Exactly!
407
00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:20,758
You want to get one?
I can get you one.
408
00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:23,011
You've got ten seconds, Volure.
409
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,303
Sorry, Jack, but I needed
that money for my escape.
410
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:26,639
And it's all gone.
411
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:27,931
I spent it
412
00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:28,766
on disguises.
413
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:31,144
What about your billions?
What about Sunstream?
414
00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:32,812
Sunstream is why
I'm trapped here.
415
00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:34,272
It's not a real company.
416
00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:35,604
You watch our commercials,
417
00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:38,651
we never actually
say what we did.
418
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:47,243
You can't be broke,
what about this house?
419
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:48,637
The government owns this house.
420
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:51,456
I share with three other
white collar criminals.
421
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:54,792
Hey, Glenn, that's
my peanut butter.
422
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,461
God, you're pathetic.
423
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:57,753
Creamy?
424
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,023
This is... this is
not my peanut...
425
00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:00,506
I'm sorry, Glenn.
426
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:04,010
I know, I'm pathetic.
427
00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:06,888
But I never meant to hurt Liz.
428
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,514
I miss her, Jack.
429
00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:10,683
I miss her laughter,
430
00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:11,975
her voice,
431
00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:13,770
the sound of her scratching
432
00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:15,813
her dry elbow skin
all the way up...
433
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:17,482
Aw! Damn it.
434
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:21,319
I have got a serious
case of the mondays.
435
00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:24,006
Gavin, you're going to
have to make this thing right.
436
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,157
I will, Jack. I promise.
437
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:28,701
We trusted you, Gavin.
438
00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:30,286
(Gavin) I know, good point.
439
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:31,578
And you betrayed us.
440
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:34,457
Wow, that's wonderful news.
441
00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:36,334
Gavin?
442
00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:38,945
Gavin, what are
you doing in the...
443
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,128
Yep.
444
00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:42,048
You and me both, pal.
445
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:44,299
I'll just be a minute.
446
00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:45,426
Carl!
447
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,398
God, these acoustics
in here are fantastic.
448
00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:50,348
♪ Tomorrow, tomorrow ♪
449
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,225
♪ I love you ♪
450
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:54,060
♪ tomorrow ♪
451
00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:57,730
♪ it's only a day away ♪
452
00:14:58,022 --> 00:14:59,148
Uh, Kenneth.
453
00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:02,193
I couldn't get your
money back, and I'm sorry.
454
00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:05,696
I feel responsible, so I
want you to have this.
455
00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:07,323
Mr. Donaghy, I can't take that.
456
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:09,033
Well, what would this country be
457
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:10,993
if our economy didn't
allow wealthy people
458
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:12,346
to take advantage of rubes?
459
00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:14,370
Well, yes, that's true. But
what about your family?
460
00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:15,706
Ah, don't worry about us.
461
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,875
We Parcells have eaten our share
462
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,710
of rock soup and squirrel tail.
463
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:21,838
But we've also known lean times.
464
00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:23,130
We'll get by.
465
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:24,632
Kenneth!
466
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,677
I need someone to be our
floor emergency marshal.
467
00:15:27,969 --> 00:15:30,555
And you came to me first?
468
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,181
Thank you, sir!
469
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:33,891
Uh, Pete...
470
00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:35,263
Doesn't that responsibility
471
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:37,186
come with a $4,000
signing bonus?
472
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:38,478
Uh...
473
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,149
Yes?
474
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,401
Oh, right, I remember
that meeting.
475
00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:44,735
Where you also said
476
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:48,072
I would get a per diem for gas.
477
00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:53,411
Yes, yes, um...
478
00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:54,703
12 cents a mile.
479
00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:56,706
Yes! Hornberger!
480
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:01,627
Yes, Hornberger.
481
00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:04,922
[Suspenseful orchestral music]
482
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:06,591
Daddy?
483
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,092
It begins.
484
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,136
[Suspenseful orchestral music]
485
00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:11,471
♪ ♪
486
00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:13,931
Daddy, are you awake?
487
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:17,059
I keep having a scary dream.
488
00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:19,187
I dreamed that you
would get so rich
489
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,272
that you would leave
us and get a new family.
490
00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:22,899
And never come back.
491
00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:24,191
And daddy..
492
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:25,419
I don't want you to Lea ve us.
493
00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:26,443
'Cause I love you.
494
00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:28,112
I love you so much.
495
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:30,655
I love you too, son!
496
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:31,949
Aah!
497
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:33,784
Stop it. Aah!
498
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:36,120
Stop patriciding!
499
00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:37,497
It's me.
500
00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:39,348
There's nothing to
be freaked out about.
501
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:40,819
That's just some
Japanese sex doll
502
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,000
in daddy's bed.
503
00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:43,210
Now, you listen.
504
00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:44,563
You don't have to ever worry
505
00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:45,630
about me leaving.
506
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,802
'Cause I'll always be
there to take care of you.
507
00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:49,467
And there's something else.
508
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:51,135
If anything ever happens to me,
509
00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:56,933
you and your brother
are going to go to jail.
510
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,687
(Tracy) Liz Lemon!
511
00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:02,979
Look!
512
00:17:04,899 --> 00:17:05,900
I'm not dead.
513
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:07,318
Good to know.
514
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:08,861
Yes, it is. Oh...
515
00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:11,233
Also everything worked
out with Jenna's dad visiting.
516
00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:12,322
What?
517
00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:14,992
Oh, you weren't really
around for any of that.
518
00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:16,284
Hm.
519
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,576
(Woman on intercom) Cast
to the Stage for rehearsal.
520
00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:20,248
Hello, Liz.
521
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:22,415
Oh, my god! Gavin?
522
00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:23,793
Shh.
523
00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:25,878
We're supposed to be
quiet during rehearsal.
524
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:27,170
What are you doing here?
525
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:29,340
I came back for
you, Liz. I was free.
526
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:31,300
I was across the
Canadian border.
527
00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:32,009
No, you weren't.
528
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:33,737
What... what's the scam?
Do you want money?
529
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:34,761
No, I'm not lying.
530
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:36,347
I can prove it, look.
531
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:39,725
Cheap cholesterol
medicine from Canada.
532
00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:42,979
A Paris Hilton film
released only in Canada.
533
00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:45,565
Camp of approval? What
does that even mean? Liz...
534
00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:47,858
What's the point of
being free if you're alone?
535
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:49,150
You get me.
536
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:50,402
Come with me to Canada.
537
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:51,810
Toronto was just like New York,
538
00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:53,739
but without all the stuff.
539
00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:55,031
Absolutely not.
540
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:56,157
Volure.
541
00:17:57,827 --> 00:17:59,227
I thought by now
you'd be some place
542
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:00,556
that U.S. law
couldn't touch you,
543
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,248
like Bali or Utah.
544
00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:03,749
What made you come back?
545
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:06,043
The reason is standing
right next to you.
546
00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:07,335
I came back for Liz.
547
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,815
This isn't going anywhere,
Volure. I already told him that.
548
00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:11,159
You've already done
enough damage,
549
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:12,577
taking advantage
of her loneliness
550
00:18:12,675 --> 00:18:14,385
and her big Ben-sized
biological clock.
551
00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:16,137
Oh, come on. I'm stopping it.
552
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,764
I can't believe I'm saying
this to the great Gavin Volure,
553
00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:20,376
but Liz Lemon is
too good for you.
554
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:21,601
Oh, well, that is nice.
555
00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:22,893
It's over, Volure.
556
00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:24,185
Give me the brush.
557
00:18:24,395 --> 00:18:25,104
You stay back.
558
00:18:25,396 --> 00:18:26,897
I swear I will paint you.
559
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:29,108
I am not going to real prison.
560
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,400
I've lost everything.
561
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:33,112
I'm financially
ruined, I've lost Liz.
562
00:18:33,404 --> 00:18:35,239
That paint is drying weird,
563
00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:36,616
and now prison?
564
00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:37,950
Not prison.
565
00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:41,287
Not for Gavin Volure.
566
00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:46,459
(Jack) What are you doing?
567
00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:47,084
Get down from there.
568
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:48,961
Good god, Volure,
that's got to be 15,
569
00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:50,296
16 feet!
570
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:52,965
Everybody stand back.
571
00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:55,509
Gavin Volure's going to jump.
572
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:59,305
We need the floor
emergency marshal!
573
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:04,435
Gavin Volure,
574
00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:07,980
everybody wanted
to be Gavin Volure.
575
00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:10,483
Volure, calm down.
Gavin, don't do this.
576
00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:12,818
All right, everyone,
I'm in charge.
577
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,862
Does anyone need
water or saltines?
578
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,365
I would feel safer
with some saltines.
579
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,200
I had the money,
580
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,369
I had the yacht,
I had the women.
581
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,746
I had it all, and
then I lost it.
582
00:19:24,038 --> 00:19:26,123
And now, I'm going to jump.
583
00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:27,541
Gavin, listen to me.
584
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:29,353
I know you've had
some setbacks lately.
585
00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:30,783
Glenn ate all my peanut butter.
586
00:19:31,045 --> 00:19:32,064
Gavin, I'm not
going to lie to you,
587
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:33,339
you'll probably be killed
588
00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:34,951
in the first six
months of prison.
589
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:36,494
But that's neither
here Nor there,
590
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:38,111
the important thing is
that you're alive now,
591
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:38,719
which means there's hope.
592
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:41,389
You know, you're
making a lot of sense.
593
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,533
Yes, you have to pay
for the things you've done.
594
00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:45,351
You're not making sense anymore.
595
00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:46,912
In spite of everything,
you still have friends
596
00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:48,479
who will stand by you.
597
00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:50,272
And more importantly...
598
00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:52,441
Perhaps most
importantly of all...
599
00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:53,733
Now, Tracy!
600
00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:54,110
Wha...
601
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:56,570
[Grunts]
602
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:57,862
What?
603
00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,532
But you're down there.
604
00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:01,701
Or am I?
605
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,997
Good job, sex doll.
606
00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:13,003
Hm.
607
00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:15,297
He miscounted the men.
608
00:20:16,674 --> 00:20:18,151
You know, a lot of people
look down on sex dolls.
609
00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:19,176
But as we saw tonight,
610
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:21,971
they save lives and
bring families together.
611
00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:24,181
How am I such an expert?
612
00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:26,058
I'm Tracy Jordan's sex doll.
613
00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:29,937
All right, let's do this.
41728
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