Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:04,148
Coming up on the season
finale of MILF island.
2
00:00:04,296 --> 00:00:05,714
Holy hot mamas!
3
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,067
But who will be the final
mommy that you'd like to...
4
00:00:08,091 --> 00:00:09,091
Oh, you know.
5
00:00:09,301 --> 00:00:10,741
I came here to be number one!
6
00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:13,514
Coming up next, here on NBC.
7
00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:17,142
Are you guys gonna
do any work today or...
8
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:19,478
Zip it. MILF island is on.
9
00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:20,479
Hey...
10
00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:21,891
20 milfs,
11
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:24,942
50 eighth. Grade boys, no rules.
12
00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:26,944
And tonight, one winner.
13
00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:28,529
Welcome to MILF island.
14
00:00:30,656 --> 00:00:31,656
This show is the worst.
15
00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:32,842
Didn't one of those milfs die
16
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,660
during production?
17
00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:35,661
She had too much champagne,
18
00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:37,514
and a monkey knocked
her into some quicksand.
19
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,018
It could happen anywhere.
20
00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:40,804
Miss Lemon, we
might have a problem.
21
00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:43,377
I went through the paper
looking for that article
22
00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:45,522
on speed da ting that you asked
about... Uh, buh duh jee jee je...
23
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:48,090
When I came across this.
24
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:51,093
Who... did... this?
25
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:52,511
Who did what?
26
00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:55,264
This is from today's
page 6 gossip column.
27
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:58,350
"Which TGS with
Tracy Jordan staffer
28
00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:00,644
"called corporate
honcho Jack Donaghy
29
00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:02,854
"a class 'a' moron?
30
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,190
"Donaghy is up for
the G.E. chairmanship,
31
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:07,276
"but one employee
has misgivings,
32
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,695
adding, 'that guy
can eat my poo.'"
33
00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:10,987
uh-oh.
34
00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:11,822
Who said this?
35
00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:13,365
Not me. Not me.
36
00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:16,743
It wasn't me. I wasn't
even working that day.
37
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:17,452
Liz... Mr. Donaghy would like
38
00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:19,496
to see you in his
office immediately.
39
00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:21,308
Well, it better not
be about that quote
40
00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:23,584
because I am not
taking the bullet for this!
41
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,461
This is bad.
42
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:27,879
Like, lose you job bad.
43
00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:31,550
Prepare for the craziest
night of television
44
00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:33,510
of your life.
45
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:43,437
♪ ♪
46
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:55,032
Well, I'm going
to get yelled at.
47
00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:55,866
What's going on with you?
48
00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:57,909
The season finale
of MILF island.
49
00:01:58,201 --> 00:02:00,287
Oh... and I'm gonna
watch it alone in my office.
50
00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:02,080
That's pretty grim, Pete.
51
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:04,132
Ooh, a dangler! Liz,
I'm gonna get free food.
52
00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:04,750
Wow.
53
00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:06,543
It's soy Joy.
54
00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:08,211
Who doesn't love soy Joy?
55
00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:10,063
Somebody upstairs
has changed their mind
56
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:12,299
about old Pete Hornberger.
57
00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:13,800
Ow!
58
00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:18,930
I'm stuck!
59
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:27,439
Lemon... remember this?
60
00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:30,400
Deborah and Shauna
squaring off at erection cove.
61
00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:33,403
Um, I don't.
62
00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:35,030
I don't really watch this show.
63
00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:37,324
That Deborah's amazing.
64
00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:38,325
Have you heard her story?
65
00:02:38,617 --> 00:02:39,977
Before she was
cast on MILF island,
66
00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:41,429
she was just a
struggling actress
67
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:42,663
living in L.A.
68
00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:45,040
Wow, that's inspiring.
69
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:47,372
She has real star quality.
You should meet with her.
70
00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:49,836
Wait, is that why you
called me up here?
71
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:52,839
Sir, I have Sumner Redstone
calling to congratulate you.
72
00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:53,840
I'll return.
73
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,343
The calls have been
pouring in all night.
74
00:02:56,635 --> 00:02:57,761
MILF island's huge.
75
00:02:58,053 --> 00:02:59,453
I guess I should
be out celebrating,
76
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,153
but I'm waiting for a
call from Don Geiss.
77
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,058
You think he'll call
me "Jackie-boy"?
78
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:04,726
Then I'll be at erection cove.
79
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,770
Congratulations, Jack.
80
00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:07,521
You must be very proud.
81
00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:08,522
When you meet with Deborah,
82
00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:11,274
have her do her Indian
cab driver impression.
83
00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:13,819
She... she really pulls it off.
84
00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:15,737
Now, why would I meet with her?
85
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,429
Because we're
developing a spin-off,
86
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:18,883
and I thought
you could write it.
87
00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:19,950
Oh, no, thanks!
88
00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:22,035
I don't want anything
to do with MILF island.
89
00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:24,871
That show is kinda lowest
common denominator.
90
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,058
The critics said that same
thing about Shakespeare.
91
00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:29,162
Yeah, but Shakespeare never
had a confessional shower
92
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:30,752
sponsored by dove pro-age.
93
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,084
So you have seen the show.
94
00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:32,838
And why shouldn't you?
95
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:34,589
It has sex, lies, puberty,
96
00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:35,924
betrayal, relay races.
97
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,385
MILF island reflects the
drama of the human experience.
98
00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:40,595
And isn't that the
essence of art?
99
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:43,849
I don't think eating
bugs to earn tampons...
100
00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:45,421
Episode nine. 22
million viewers.
101
00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:46,351
Is art.
102
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:49,104
Performance is an
art. Writing is an art.
103
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,273
What we do is art.
104
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:54,276
Someone put too
many farts in this engine!
105
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,778
It's about to explode!
106
00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,655
Okay, fine. Don't meet with her.
107
00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:00,699
I just saw the opportunity
for you to make
108
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,343
An obscene amount of money.
109
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,786
Well, no thanks.
I have integrity.
110
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:08,582
It's farting! It's farting!
111
00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:10,625
Myirt.
112
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,711
Anyway, unless
there's something else,
113
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,629
I'm just gonna...
114
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:19,509
Actually, we do need to
resolve the page six debacle.
115
00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:23,457
You know, if you
Google the phrase
116
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,515
"class 'a' moron," my
name pops up first now.
117
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:28,310
So step aside, Randy quaid.
118
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,103
Jack, I'm sorry you saw that.
119
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,355
It's not good timing
for me, professionally.
120
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:35,192
I will find out who did
it. I'll beat it out of them.
121
00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:36,753
No, no, here's how we're
gonna play this situation.
122
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:39,863
We're gonna turn up
the heat on your people...
123
00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:41,823
And see who breaks first.
124
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:45,994
Jonathan...
125
00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:49,831
Could you round
up those idiots...
126
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,541
Hey, buddies.
127
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:53,084
He knows, doesn't he?
128
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,045
Yeah, and he's not happy.
129
00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:57,315
Does he think it's me? Did
he... did he mention me?
130
00:04:57,339 --> 00:04:58,858
No, I think you're safe
because I think he forgot
131
00:04:58,882 --> 00:04:59,591
that you're a person.
132
00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:00,926
Yeah!
133
00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:02,403
Come on, how long
is this gonna take?
134
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:03,845
Our pizzas are downstairs,
135
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,323
and the tribunal was
just about to make
136
00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:07,766
one of the last four milfs
hang up her bikini top.
137
00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:11,269
Zalutha...
138
00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:12,604
You've kept it tight.
139
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,526
Heidi...
140
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:20,487
We no longer want to hit that.
141
00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:23,323
Get off MILF island!
142
00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:28,370
♪ ♪
143
00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:33,416
Can I just get the pizzas
and bring them up here?
144
00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:34,251
No, no, you have to stay here
145
00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:35,836
in case Mr. Donaghy
calls you in.
146
00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:37,337
Look, whoever did this
147
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:39,714
needs to fess up now.
148
00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:42,509
I can protect you.
149
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:44,302
I just need to know who it is.
150
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:48,306
Fine, everybody but
me close your eyes.
151
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:50,642
Whoever did it, raise your hand.
152
00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:53,562
Oh, really mature, guys!
153
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,021
You are on your own.
154
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:57,524
Miss Lemon, can I have
a word with you, please?
155
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:02,404
Lutz, come here.
156
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:03,947
We should form an alliance.
157
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,740
A what? An alliance.
158
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,712
We're the two biggest
dirtbags around here.
159
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:09,136
They're gonna try to blame us.
160
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,705
I don't think people
see me that way.
161
00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:13,123
Yeah, they do. You and me.
162
00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:14,124
A couple of fat pervert losers.
163
00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:16,459
My sister-in-law did
kinda a makeover on me.
164
00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:17,836
I thought... no.
165
00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:19,170
No.
166
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:20,462
Hello?
167
00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:22,132
A little help!
168
00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:24,384
My shirt is caught
on what feels like
169
00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:27,095
a very sharp... mechanism.
170
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:31,016
Ooh, maybe if I
can get the shirt off.
171
00:06:36,688 --> 00:06:38,732
Oh...
172
00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:40,275
Ow!
173
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:43,360
What?!
174
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:44,988
What is it, Kenneth?
175
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:47,400
Well, I was thinking about
this item in the newspaper,
176
00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:48,634
and something
doesn't make sense.
177
00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:49,868
What do you mean?
178
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,579
Well, I know Toofer would
never use the word "poo,"
179
00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:53,871
so it's not him.
180
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,415
And Frank couldn't have done it
181
00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,268
because he was with me all
day making fun of my haircut.
182
00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:59,294
And also, I saw you do it.
183
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,421
The game... is
about... to change!
184
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,554
What do you mean
you saw me do it?
185
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:11,014
It was yesterday, downstairs.
186
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:13,725
Liz Lemon, I'm gonna
miss the show this week.
187
00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:16,227
Jack is sending me to
do stand-up in Dubai.
188
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:18,063
I'm gonna do jokes
on airplane food.
189
00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:19,355
It's all new to them.
190
00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:21,316
No, Tracy, you
can't miss the show.
191
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:22,984
Well, don't blame
me, blame Jack.
192
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,153
He's the one I'm splitting
the $3 million with.
193
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,988
You and Jack
Donaghy are the cause
194
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,740
of my jawline acne!
195
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,160
You work for Jack Donaghy?
196
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:36,122
That class "a"
moron? Unfortunately.
197
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:39,334
Must be tough taking orders
from a guy like that, huh?
198
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,437
I don't take orders
from him. He's an idiot.
199
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,879
He doesn't know what he's doing.
200
00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:44,756
That guy can eat my poo.
201
00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:47,384
Do you work here too? No.
202
00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,469
I'm a reporter for
the New York post,
203
00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:52,889
specializing in business gossip.
204
00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:55,183
And then you asked
him if he was single,
205
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,702
and he said, "don't
worry about it," but then...
206
00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:58,478
Okay, fine, you
got me! I did it.
207
00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:00,410
But I am not taking
the fall for this one.
208
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,815
I have taken too many bullets
209
00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:03,817
for my idiot staff in the past.
210
00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:07,046
Jonathan, did someone
turn the heat up?
211
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:07,779
No idea.
212
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,823
Where I'm from, we
don't notice the heat.
213
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:11,195
That's interesting.
214
00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:13,994
I didn't know it was
hot in assholevania.
215
00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:16,204
I deserve one free pass.
216
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,039
But that's not the
right thing to do.
217
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:19,374
Yes, yes, Kenneth.
218
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:21,334
But Jack and I are friends.
219
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:23,503
It would screw things
up if this came out.
220
00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:25,630
What if I really
messed up his chances
221
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,173
of getting that promotion?
222
00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:31,219
I would be so sad if
I got caught for this.
223
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:32,846
But you're not supposed to lie.
224
00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:35,390
Uhhgh! You apple-faced goon!
225
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,726
Fine, I will tell him.
226
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,103
Oh, pray for me.
227
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:49,988
Really?!
228
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:53,533
Is everyone watching TV?
229
00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:04,878
Yes! Okay, okay...
230
00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:07,172
Okay...
231
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,632
I just need four numbers.
232
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:12,886
Call anybody in the building.
233
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:16,473
Any... random... number.
234
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,027
Yes! Hornberger!
235
00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:34,550
Hello, you've reached
Pete Hornberger at TGS.
236
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:35,784
Please leave a message.
237
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,076
Aaaaaah!
238
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,289
Hey.
239
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,374
A class "a" moron.
240
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:46,669
Yeah, how are you doing?
241
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,397
Lemon, can I share
something with you
242
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,066
that I've never shared
with anyone in my life?
243
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,130
I would rather you didn't.
244
00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:53,802
When I was a child, I
had a terrible stutter.
245
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,887
And I was so embarrassed by it
246
00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:57,339
that I rarely spoke in class.
247
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,158
You were a stutterer?
Couldn't get a word out.
248
00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:01,434
Needless to say I was
the object of some ridicule.
249
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:03,978
Because of my reticence,
they assumed I was stupid,
250
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,980
and the Massachusetts
public school system
251
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:11,861
designated me a class "a" moron.
252
00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:14,739
Oh, no.
253
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:15,740
The stutter got so bad
254
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:17,112
I was taken out of my grade
255
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:18,278
and put in the special class
256
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:21,037
held in the boiler room.
257
00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:23,373
My only other classmate
was named Gilly.
258
00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:25,458
He'd fallen through
the ice as a child
259
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:29,212
and was technically
dead for 57 minutes.
260
00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:30,744
They taught us to sweep sawdust
261
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,160
so we could find work at a mill.
262
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:33,977
I'm sure whoever said
that thing in the post
263
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:35,677
had no idea...
264
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,249
Of course, I
overcame the stutter
265
00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:38,763
in three languages.
266
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:41,724
On to Princeton, Harvard,
the top of the business world.
267
00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:43,256
I thought I'd blocked this out,
268
00:10:43,434 --> 00:10:45,474
but a thing like this brings
back some old emotions.
269
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:46,603
I'm so sorry.
270
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:48,606
I feel like I'm back
in that boiler room
271
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,358
making little piles of sawdust
272
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:53,486
while Gilly plays with
himself in the corner.
273
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:55,446
I'm sorry, did you
want something?
274
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:58,533
I just wanted to tell you...
275
00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:03,538
That I've narrowed it
down to Toofer or Frank.
276
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:04,956
Thank you.
277
00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:09,878
God, I am famished.
278
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,921
Uh... those are Jack's!
279
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:13,213
Come on, guys.
280
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:15,109
Whoever did it, just confess
so we can get out of here.
281
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:16,926
Why are you looking
at me and Lutz?
282
00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:17,802
I wasn't.
283
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:20,555
I think Lutz'll tell you
284
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:21,847
that I'm innocent.
285
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:22,931
No, I won't, dude.
286
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:23,516
What the frak?!
287
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,208
I thought we had
a dirtbag alliance!
288
00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:26,268
I'm not a dirtbag.
289
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,521
This is from American eagle!
290
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:29,480
You formed an alliance?
291
00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:31,482
That strongly insinuates guilt.
292
00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:33,002
Well, I think pointing
fingers at people
293
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,903
makes you seem guilty.
294
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,964
Thanks, Judas. I thought
we had a deal. You listen here!
295
00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:38,215
Who cares if you
went to Harvard?!
296
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:40,658
Who cares?!
297
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:41,534
Debra,
298
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:44,162
what was the hardest
part of this for you?
299
00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:47,790
I would have to say...
The physical challenges.
300
00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:51,169
I mean, you're tired, hungry,
301
00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:52,921
want to go home.
302
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,481
And then you just
reach inside yourself,
303
00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:56,424
and you find the strength
304
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,027
that you didn't
even know you had.
305
00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,595
I mean, one of my
implants exploded...
306
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,764
And I didn't even ask
to get off the catapult.
307
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,934
Now, boys, there
are only two milfs left:
308
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,978
Debra and Deborah.
309
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:10,730
But one of them is going home.
310
00:12:11,022 --> 00:12:13,900
And it will be revealed...
311
00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:15,568
After three more breaks.
312
00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:18,696
Deborah's played
the game so well.
313
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:21,199
Even if she loses,
america's gonna want more.
314
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:23,326
Maybe it's a talk show.
315
00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:24,911
No, Jack, I'm not working on it.
316
00:12:25,203 --> 00:12:25,745
Jonathan, turn up
the heat a little more
317
00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:27,580
and send in Kenneth. Kenneth?
318
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:29,225
We're gonna get
to the bottom of this.
319
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,625
He won't know anything.
320
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,877
Kenneth...
321
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:35,004
You're the eyes and ears of TGS.
322
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:36,673
So Liz and I were hoping
323
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:38,716
you could help us to
track down the person
324
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:40,194
who's been saying
these hurtful things
325
00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:41,218
about me in the paper.
326
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:46,224
Well, sir, I'm sure
that whoever did this
327
00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:48,726
regrets her...
328
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:51,312
Or his mistake,
329
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,815
and will do the right thing.
330
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,817
I certainly hope so.
331
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,652
Do you have any guesses?
332
00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:03,741
Kenneth, I need an answer.
333
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:11,874
The stress of this is
making me awful sleepy.
334
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:12,583
Sir,
335
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:13,875
there's a call on two
336
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:14,979
I think you're
gonna want to take.
337
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,337
Mr. Geiss, I...
338
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:17,909
Oh, hello, vice
president Cheney.
339
00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:19,716
I'm gonna kill you.
340
00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:22,218
Yes, I hope
Deborah wins as well.
341
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:25,054
No, they're not
real, unfortunately.
342
00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:27,223
Get out of here!
343
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:29,309
I can't believe
you didn't tell him!
344
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:30,744
You listen to me, li'i Abner.
345
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:32,228
Keep your fried
Baloney hole shut!
346
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,022
I am not going down for this!
347
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,356
I'll tell him you did it.
348
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:36,875
Who do you think
he's gonna believe?
349
00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:37,525
I'm important around here.
350
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,445
Miss Lemon, your
eyes look like my uncle's
351
00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:42,537
after he would drink
from the air-conditioner.
352
00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:44,198
I thought we were friends.
353
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,534
I didn't come here
to make friends.
354
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,666
I came here to be number one!
355
00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:49,911
Oh...
356
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,456
Liz Lemon!
357
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:53,517
I can't believe they put
what you said in the paper.
358
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:55,960
Shh... how do you
know about that?
359
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:57,587
This is a ca thy cartoon!
360
00:13:57,879 --> 00:13:59,047
Yeah, that cartoon copied
361
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,382
exactly what you
said the other day.
362
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,634
Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate!
363
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:05,178
Aack!
364
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:08,222
If you decide to Sue
them, I know a good lawyer!
365
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:11,059
Took me to the
cleaners last year.
366
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:12,643
The truth will come out.
367
00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:15,015
Like my cousin Steven after
he went to music college,
368
00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:16,397
it will come out.
369
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:20,401
Stay tuned for one
final, shocking twist.
370
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:21,361
Shut up!
371
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:23,696
Brought to you buy soy
Joy fortified with optimism.
372
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:30,850
Jack, it's almost 11:00.
373
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,473
Why don't you let
those guys go home,
374
00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:34,165
and we'll all sleep on it?
375
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:36,376
They called me stammerhead
shark, Lemon. What?
376
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:38,267
The kids at school.
They called me names.
377
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:41,214
Mrs. Stutterworth,
stutterfingers...
378
00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:43,299
Stuttermilk pancakes.
379
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:45,635
The butter thing opened
up a lot of doors for them.
380
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:50,056
You know, I wore
corrective shoes as a kid.
381
00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:51,933
Really? When I was born,
382
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:55,061
I had a malformed
extra baby foot
383
00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:57,563
extending from my actual foot.
384
00:14:57,855 --> 00:14:59,690
They think maybe I ate my twin.
385
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:02,151
But after the
surgery to remove it,
386
00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:04,153
I walked pigeon-toed.
387
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:05,780
So all through grade school,
388
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:08,199
I had to wear
corrective foot gear
389
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:11,244
that attached to a headgear.
390
00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:13,830
Gilly chewed
through his headgear.
391
00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:15,832
My point is, I survived.
392
00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:17,204
It made me a better person.
393
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,376
And he same is true of you.
394
00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,211
All this, all your success
395
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:22,547
is because of that certificate.
396
00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:24,424
It made you who you are.
397
00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:25,925
And that is not a bad thing.
398
00:15:26,217 --> 00:15:27,927
Thank you, Lemon.
399
00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:29,219
Look.
400
00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:31,639
The final council is starting.
401
00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:36,394
Deborah has the
bearing of a queen.
402
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,856
Maybe you did it!
Why would I do it?
403
00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:42,108
That is so stupid. You
know people at page six!
404
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,253
I ha te all of you!
405
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,737
Order! Order, I say!
406
00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:48,990
We must not be rash.
407
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,492
We must divorce ourselves
from our prejudices,
408
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,744
and appeal to our
higher reasoning.
409
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:56,873
This is the speaking banana.
410
00:15:57,165 --> 00:15:59,709
Everyone will get a chance
to speak, and only then
411
00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:02,086
will we make our decision.
412
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:03,921
Josh, my friend,
413
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:07,049
you are first.
414
00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:11,679
Look, I would never do this
because I'm loyal to the show.
415
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:12,971
That dude did it!
416
00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:14,807
I knew it was you!
417
00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:17,852
Look at his light eyes.
They're freaky like a wolf!
418
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:21,606
Hey! Keep it down!
419
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:22,899
Why are you still here?
420
00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:23,733
I love it up here.
421
00:16:24,025 --> 00:16:25,610
It's hot, it's loud,
there's no pizza.
422
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:27,403
It's like Miami.
423
00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:29,071
Maybe Liz did it.
424
00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:31,073
Are you kidding me?
425
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:34,118
After all the times I
have defended you guys
426
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:34,994
and covered up for you,
427
00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:36,846
How dare you accuse me!
428
00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:38,789
You say you're sorry right now.
429
00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:40,666
I'm sorry.
430
00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:42,877
Please don't cry, it's
making me feel weird.
431
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,213
I can't take this anymore.
432
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,673
I'm going to put an end to it.
433
00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:49,675
But... but...
But... but... but...
434
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:51,052
Mr. Donaghy, it was me.
435
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,721
I said those bad things about
you in the newspaper, sir.
436
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,013
Kenneth, you?!
437
00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:57,642
I couldn't lie anymore, sir.
438
00:16:57,934 --> 00:16:59,369
Because everyone
knows the weight of a lie
439
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:00,686
makes your soul so heavy
440
00:17:00,978 --> 00:17:02,939
that you can't
rise up to heaven.
441
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:04,458
And you don't look good
in jeans from behind.
442
00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:05,775
But why, Kenneth?
443
00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:07,867
Is it because I made
you work late last night?
444
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:09,946
Yes, sir. That was it.
445
00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:11,838
I was here folding
MILF island tee shirts
446
00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:12,406
until 2:00 in the morning.
447
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,492
And then you didn't
even offer me one.
448
00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:16,184
Needless to say I
grumbled about you
449
00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:17,870
to anyone who would listen.
450
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:20,998
I don't know what
to say, Kenneth.
451
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,709
You've embarrassed
yourself and the show.
452
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,361
You may have
compromised my chances
453
00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:26,796
of running this company.
454
00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:29,090
And needless to say,
you've hurt me personally.
455
00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:31,884
Lemon, do you have
anything you want to add?
456
00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:36,138
You disgust me.
457
00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:40,601
Well, that's over.
458
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,603
Deborah wins!
459
00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:47,900
She played the game so well.
460
00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:50,319
She manipulated, she lied.
461
00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:53,281
She got a pretty
bad staph infection.
462
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:56,826
But tonight, Deborah
is our winner.
463
00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:04,959
Who won?
464
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:09,088
♪ Duh da da da da duh da da ♪
465
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:10,798
♪ duh da da duh da ♪
466
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,508
♪ duh da da da da ♪ ♪
467
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,093
Myirt!
468
00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:15,636
Jack, what are you doing here?
469
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,263
Geiss called me.
470
00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:18,848
Oh, good.
471
00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:20,558
I've never heard
him sound so happy.
472
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,393
He called me "Jackie boy."
473
00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:24,729
And Deborah's
testing off the charts
474
00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:26,331
in the most profitable
demographics.
475
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:27,940
Soccer moms, Nascar dads,
476
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:30,151
white-collar pervs,
and the obese.
477
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:31,777
Wow. Congratulations.
478
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:34,047
I've really come a long
way since that heart attack,
479
00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:35,114
haven't I, Lemon?
480
00:18:35,406 --> 00:18:36,907
Geiss' job is mine to lose.
481
00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:40,661
There's just one
thing still bothering me.
482
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:43,205
Kenneth's story doesn't add up.
483
00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:45,333
You want some pizza?
484
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,019
Kenneth said he
was folding tee shirts
485
00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:48,043
until 2:00 A.M.,
486
00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:49,396
but the post goes
to press at midnight.
487
00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:51,714
Even if he somehow
did bump into a reporter
488
00:18:52,006 --> 00:18:53,883
in the elevator, it
would be too late.
489
00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:56,552
Well, you know,
that guy's the worst.
490
00:18:56,844 --> 00:18:58,638
This should be the
greatest night of my life,
491
00:18:58,929 --> 00:18:59,513
but I can't enjoy it.
492
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:02,767
I mean, it's just k-k-killing me
493
00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:05,061
that somebody would
say that about me.
494
00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:07,372
I'm sure the person who
said it probably didn't mean it.
495
00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:09,231
And it was probably Toofer.
496
00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:10,733
No, they meant it.
497
00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:11,567
They think I'm a moron,
498
00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:12,919
just like Gilly and
everyone else.
499
00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:14,612
Even Gilly made fun of you?
500
00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:15,446
You know, it's funny, Lemon.
501
00:19:15,738 --> 00:19:18,074
I g-guess I'll always b-b-b-be
502
00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:21,911
that k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-
503
00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:23,483
it was me! I did
it! K-k-k-k-k-k-
504
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:24,973
I... I didn't mean
any of it. K-k-k-k-k-k-
505
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,433
I'm sorry I said you
could eat my poo. K-k-k-
506
00:19:26,457 --> 00:19:27,937
I... it was me. I
did it. K-k-k-k-k-k-
507
00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:32,838
I know.
508
00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:35,424
I just wanted to
get you to admit it.
509
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:38,552
And you do know how you're
gonna make this up to me, don't you?
510
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,680
Oh, god.
511
00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:42,291
I've gotta write
the Deborah show.
512
00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:44,642
She wants to sing
in every episode.
513
00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:48,437
You knew. How?
514
00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:50,481
No onion rings?!
515
00:19:50,773 --> 00:19:53,234
Ugh, this place can eat my poo!
516
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:56,529
You say that word a lot
more than you realize.
517
00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:59,365
Now, I need you to initial here,
518
00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:02,618
and sign here and here.
519
00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:05,121
I've got to admit I
never thought I'd get you.
520
00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:10,209
I mean, the stutter,
the certificate, Gilly.
521
00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:11,901
Yeah, well, I made
up all that stuff
522
00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:13,379
about the extra baby foot too.
523
00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:15,671
I made that up... that was
to make you feel better.
524
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:16,715
I'll walk you out.
525
00:20:21,804 --> 00:20:24,640
Heel, toe, Lemon. Heel, toe.
526
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:31,175
Stick around.
527
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:33,232
Coming up next
we've got dog swap!
37472
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof