All language subtitles for Bachelor.Party.2.The.Last.Temptation.20018.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]
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1
00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:40,444
That's a little scary.
Stop trying
to wear me out.
2
00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:44,078
I think-- You know,
you have a real hang-up
with the term "stalker."
3
00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:49,375
No, I just fail to see
how you showing up
at my museum every day...
4
00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:52,490
for, like, two weeks
makes me the stalker,
5
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:55,723
when clearly it makes you
the stalker.
6
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:58,959
The most important thing
to remember here--
Hand, please.
7
00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:01,726
These past two months...
8
00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:05,725
have really, truly been
the happiest two months...
9
00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:07,669
of your life.
[ Laughs ]
10
00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:10,735
I love you.
Love you too.
There you go.
11
00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:14,844
W-Wait. Excuse me.
[ Singsongy ]
Son of a bitch.
12
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,808
I keep telling this guy
no olives,
13
00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:18,877
and he keeps
bringing me olives,
and that's a problem because--
14
00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:22,176
You hate olives.
I hate olives!
I hate olives.
15
00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:24,790
Don't move. I'm on it.
16
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:31,388
There. Crisis averted.
17
00:01:33,361 --> 00:01:37,931
You know,
usually I would be
completely disgusted...
18
00:01:37,998 --> 00:01:41,998
with someone sticking
their fingers into my drink,
but with you, not so much.
19
00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:47,439
In fact, it, uh--
Mmm. It adds a certain
Melinda "zestiness" to it.
20
00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:50,308
Well, we make a good team.
21
00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:54,819
Yes, we do.
22
00:01:54,882 --> 00:01:59,122
Well, I am going to go
powder my nose.
[ Clears Throat ]
23
00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:01,287
Oh. Do me a favor--
If the waiter comes back,
24
00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:04,485
would you make sure
there are no olives
in my cake?
25
00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:06,558
I like that.
26
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:16,236
Spence! Spence.
All right, man, it's time.
27
00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:20,274
Time for what?
It's time for me
to get engaged.
28
00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:22,381
You were gonna put this
in her sundae, remember?
29
00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:25,813
[ Whistles ]
Oh, yeah. Right.
Nice rock.
30
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:27,879
Oh. Thanks.
31
00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:35,464
[ Groaning ]
Oh, boy.
32
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,257
Oh. Sorry. It was packed.
33
00:02:39,327 --> 00:02:41,797
I just had to fight
for a mirror.
[ Laughs ]
34
00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:44,632
Here we are.
A sundae for the gentleman.
35
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:47,798
And chocolate cake
for the lady.
36
00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:52,508
Actually, I think
that she had the sundae
and I had the cake.
37
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:55,113
Oh, okay, yeah.
Got it.
38
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,475
Mmm.
39
00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:02,778
So, Mel,
40
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,820
I'm glad you stalked me,
41
00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:07,655
'cause, um,
42
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:11,091
I never met anyone
like you before,
43
00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:13,358
and I, uh-- I know that...
44
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:17,727
we've only been dating
a little while, but...
45
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:21,068
I just feel like
I have known you my--
46
00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:24,144
my-my whole-- my whole life.
47
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,614
Are you chewing that?
48
00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:30,584
[ Woman ]
Oh, my God!
Praise Jesus!
49
00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:35,884
Praise Jesus!
Oh, Calvin!
I knew you'd do it.
50
00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:39,319
Excuse me one second.
Just wanna take that--
[ Chuckles ]
51
00:03:39,387 --> 00:03:42,517
Just a little quick
search for something.
52
00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:45,460
All right. Be right back.
53
00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:47,526
- [ Woman ]
I'm calling Mama.
- Hi. Hi.
54
00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:50,495
- I'm sorry. I think
there's been a mistake.
- Mama!
55
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:53,834
I'm getting married, Mama.
56
00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:56,601
Ma'am? Ma'am?
Pardon me. Pardon me.
That's my ring.
57
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,840
Hang on, Mama.
58
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,907
May I help you?
59
00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:04,135
Yes.
60
00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:06,551
I'm so sorry,
but I think the waiter...
61
00:04:06,614 --> 00:04:08,884
mistakenly brought you
the wrong sundae.
62
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:11,949
You see, that-that's
my grandmother's ring.
63
00:04:12,019 --> 00:04:16,389
I think you better go
sit over there before
my fiancé here...
64
00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:19,757
"whups" your ass.
65
00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:23,497
Okay, how about
I buy both of your dinners?
66
00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:27,304
Good? Yes.
Except I'm gonna
need that back though, so--
67
00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:29,898
- Ow!
- Okay, baby, "whup" his ass!
68
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:33,110
- Uh, baby, the thing is--
- The thing is,
69
00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:38,983
I haven't waited 17 years
on your sorry ass...
70
00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:42,846
to let this white shadow
come and spoil
my engagement.
71
00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:46,386
It's either you whup his ass,
Calvin,
72
00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:48,594
or I'll whup yours.
73
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:55,401
Yeah.
You need to go now.
74
00:04:56,564 --> 00:04:59,304
Right.
[ Woman ]
Mama? Yes!
75
00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:01,467
Um, how about--
76
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:04,165
It's beautiful.
Thief! Help!
77
00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:07,037
[ Shouting ]
78
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,778
[ Groaning ]
Give me my ring!
79
00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:13,114
Give me my ring!
80
00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:16,020
[ Siren Blares ]
[ Chuckles ]
81
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:19,593
Well, this wasn't exactly
what I had planned.
82
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:22,863
[ Police Radio Chatter ]
83
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:27,663
Look. I know we haven't
been together long,
84
00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:31,598
but you know when
something just feels right,
85
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,395
and you don't want
that feeling to end?
86
00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:36,597
Okay, Romeo, save it
for your cell mate.
87
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:40,170
Whoa. Clancy.
Give the kid a minute.
88
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,780
Thank you.
No problem.
89
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:46,753
Long story short.
I love you.
90
00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:51,954
- I love you.
- Will, uh--
91
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:55,957
Will you, uh--
92
00:05:57,558 --> 00:06:01,798
- Will you marry me?
- Yes, I will marry you.
93
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:05,702
[ Both Laughing ]
94
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,900
Okay. Congrats and all that.
95
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:12,210
You have the right
to remain silent.
96
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:15,082
Anything you say can
and will be used against you
in a court of law.
97
00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:16,642
I'm gonna go now.
98
00:06:20,648 --> 00:06:23,948
Dude, are you fuckin' with me?
99
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:26,987
"Congratulations" might be
the more appropriate
response here, Derek.
100
00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:29,494
You've only dated her
for two months.
101
00:06:29,557 --> 00:06:31,657
I've had this cold sore
longer than that.
102
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,785
This coming from a guy
who's been married three times.
103
00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:36,401
Have you learned nothing
from me, man?
104
00:06:36,464 --> 00:06:38,574
I am a cautionary tale.
105
00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:40,972
I am Jesus.
I have suffered
for your sins.
106
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:45,044
[ Farts ]
[ Groans ]
Please let that be a fart.
107
00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:47,105
[ Farts ]
108
00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:52,850
Yeah, baby! Suck it, losers.
109
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,553
Ooh!
[ Laughs ]
110
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:57,745
Okay. That was definitely
not a fart.
111
00:06:57,818 --> 00:07:02,688
You know, I think that "biatch"
is feeding this thing Indian
food just to screw with me.
112
00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:07,134
[ Babbling ]
[ Both Groan ]
113
00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:09,864
Yeah, you did a poop.
Yeah.
114
00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:13,699
Any of you need changing?
115
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,872
Hey, where's, uh--
Where's Seth? He's up.
116
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:21,908
He's looking for a ball.
Didn't have time to stop
at home and get his.
117
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:24,375
We're in a bowling alley.
How hard is it to find a ball?
118
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,724
[ Boy ]
All right! I'll take it!
119
00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:47,167
Sorry, fellas.
I'm on the D.L. tonight.
120
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:50,874
I don't think
there's a disabled list
for rec league bowling, buddy.
121
00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:53,368
Ron, how can you abandon me
with these two losers?
122
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,640
I'm not abandoning anybody.
123
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:58,679
Just 'cause I'm getting married
doesn't mean I'm not gonna
be here for bowling night...
124
00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:02,976
or fishing weekend or Jason's
biannual "porno palooza."
125
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:06,454
You know, nothing's
gonna change.
126
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:09,990
Yeah. Well,
that's what I thought.
127
00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:12,727
Now if you'll excuse me,
I gotta get little
shit machine...
128
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:16,233
back to his gold-digging
whore of a mother, huh?
129
00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:18,626
Hey, don't forget your ball.
130
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,008
[ Chattering ]
131
00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:36,254
I was talking
with the mayor,
132
00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:41,916
and I put a bug in his ear
about having the reception
at the opera house.
133
00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:46,659
You know, Mom,
we were thinking of having
a small, simple wedding.
134
00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:48,997
[ Laughs ]
Honestly, Melinda.
135
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:50,962
We're not Amish.
136
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:54,071
[ Doorbell Rings ]
I'll get it.
137
00:08:57,971 --> 00:09:01,371
Oh, my little sister's
engaged!
[ Laughs ]
138
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:03,541
Hi, beautiful.
139
00:09:03,611 --> 00:09:08,151
Hi, Todd.
Sorry. I can't hear.
140
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,575
He's always working.
141
00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:13,251
Let me ask you something.
142
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,820
Is it wrong to want
to tap sister-in-law ass?
143
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:18,159
Right. Oh. I gotta go.
144
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:20,785
[ Clears Throat ]
Honey.
145
00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:23,861
Yes?
Does this remind you
of when we got engaged?
146
00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:26,771
How could I forget?
Let's go
on a second honeymoon.
147
00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:30,174
Someplace romantic.
Maybe make a baby.
148
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,167
Hey, there's your dad.
149
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,269
Hey. Abe.
150
00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:37,211
Did you hear the one
about the horny jockey
and the Venezuelan stable boy?
151
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:39,647
[ Laughing ]
No, but I think
I like it already.
152
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:42,353
[ Todd ]
It's delicious.
[ Doorbell Rings ]
153
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:45,445
[ Children Chattering
In Chinese ]
Hi, guys.
154
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:48,488
[ Chattering Continues ]
155
00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:51,315
Speak English, huh?
English!
156
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:55,401
Look, go watch some TV, huh?
[ Speaks Chinese ]
157
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:57,932
They're so cute.
Sorry about that.
158
00:09:57,998 --> 00:10:00,428
They're from
the second marriage.
159
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:04,340
The ex only lets them
speak to me in Mandarin,
the hairy ass crack.
160
00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:07,684
Yeah.
Anyways--
161
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:11,711
Congratulations.
Oh. Thank you.
162
00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:15,349
Here.
Oh. Sure. Uh--
163
00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:19,186
Okay.
164
00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:21,392
** [ Humming ]
165
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,133
Oh!
166
00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:30,956
How's my baby?
167
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:33,931
My mother's killing me
with wedding crap.
168
00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:36,601
Mmm.
I seriously don't think I can
take another year of this.
169
00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:39,310
Mmm. Well, we could
just elope, of course.
170
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:41,812
Then she'd kill both of us.
171
00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:45,050
What are you doing?
172
00:10:45,112 --> 00:10:47,112
You.
173
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:53,249
Mmm! Baby,
we're in the pantry.
Oh! That's a good point.
174
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,590
[ Inhales ]
175
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,685
[ Laughing ]
What are you doing?
176
00:10:57,758 --> 00:11:00,928
Oh, my God.
* Sex elevator *
Ding.
177
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:04,264
[ Laughs ]
You are so stupid.
178
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:19,248
Hey. Would it kill you
to buy some groceries, man?
179
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:22,022
Yeah, if the Mystics would
cover the goddamn spread,
I could.
180
00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:25,152
The Mystics?
You're bettin' on the W.N.B.A.?
181
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:29,158
Mm-hmm.
Well, hello.
[ Chuckles ]
182
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:33,062
Hi. I'm-I'm Judith.
I-I work with Mel.
183
00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:35,296
Oh, hey, Judith.
I'm Jason.
184
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:38,002
I'm, uh, Ron's best friend--
since childhood.
185
00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:41,695
Yeah. And this is Seth,
his college roommate.
186
00:11:41,769 --> 00:11:44,869
And that's Derek.
Used to be his boss.
Yeah.
187
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:49,438
- Are you all in finance?
- Actually, I'm in
consumer products testing.
188
00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:51,779
[ Sniffing ]
189
00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:54,345
[ Sneezes ]
190
00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:01,515
- Derek, do you still work
with Ron?
- No. I, uh--
191
00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:03,758
I left that company
a while back,
192
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:06,734
but, uh, I'm still
in finance, you know.
193
00:12:06,794 --> 00:12:11,464
I'm telling you, man, she had
a pine tree air freshener
in her underpants. Gotta go.
194
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:16,436
What do you do?
I am in the advertising game.
195
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,623
Yeah.
Advertising?
196
00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:30,521
Mm-hmm.
That sounds exciting.
197
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,553
It is. Yeah, it is.
198
00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:37,860
You know, Judith,
you're a friend of Mel's
and I'm a friend of Ron's,
199
00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:40,855
so I'm thinkin'
we should get together.
200
00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:44,428
You know, maybe--
maybe grab a pizza, fuck.
201
00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:51,044
No? You don't like pizza?
202
00:12:52,139 --> 00:12:54,839
Seriously, who
doesn't like pizza?
203
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:58,148
Hey, uh, everyone?
Everyone, um--
204
00:12:58,211 --> 00:13:01,211
I don't know how
to say this, but...
205
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:04,051
Mel and I simply could not
come to an agreement
on our wedding colors,
206
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:06,187
so we are breaking up.
207
00:13:06,253 --> 00:13:08,323
Very sorry.
Everyone drive safe.
208
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:12,428
- [ Crowd Laughing ]
- Yes! Welcome back, buddy.
209
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:16,001
He was kid--
He was kidding.
210
00:13:16,063 --> 00:13:18,233
[ Stammers, Laughs ]
Sorry, Mel.
211
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,328
It's okay.
212
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:24,200
Anyway, uh,
two short months ago,
213
00:13:24,271 --> 00:13:27,881
I wandered into
the Cleveland Museum
of Modern Art.
214
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:30,581
I was, of course, lost,
um, but then...
215
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:35,183
I laid eyes
on the best exhibit
in the whole joint-- Mel.
216
00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:38,318
- [ Crowd Sighs ]
- [ Scoffs ]
217
00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:42,815
Uh, no, I know that two months
is an awfully short time
to get engaged,
218
00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:46,960
but, to be honest with you,
I was ready to propose
on that first day.
219
00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:49,297
So needless to say,
220
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:52,932
when Mel proposed,
I said yes.
221
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,940
[ Crowd Laughs ]
I didn't want
to give her time...
222
00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:57,242
to change her mind,
so we have set a date.
223
00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:59,414
On May 31,
one month from today,
224
00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:01,712
you are all invited
to our open bar--
225
00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:05,054
- Which will also feature
a wedding, but, you know--
- [ Laughing ]
226
00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:08,382
All right, let's get drunk.
227
00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:12,323
Hey, uh, Derek?
228
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:15,255
Why is your kid
dropping a deuce
in that plant?
229
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:20,529
Jesus! Stop it! Bah! Bah!
230
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:25,268
Mmm.
[ Chuckles ]
231
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:27,942
Now, Abe, I've taken
a look at the numbers
for last quarters.
232
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:30,001
I think we've got
some dead weight.
Here, look.
233
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:32,270
Take a look at this.
234
00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:35,539
- Hey, hey, fellas.
- [ Abe ]
Ron, come in.
235
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:38,208
- Abe, you're a whiskey man,
is that right?
- Absolutely.
236
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:40,448
All right, I got
something here for you.
237
00:14:40,513 --> 00:14:42,553
What have we got here?
238
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:44,315
Mmm.
239
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:47,094
Oh, that's nice.
What is this?
240
00:14:47,154 --> 00:14:49,124
Jameson's 30-year
Private Reserve.
241
00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:52,859
I'm half Irish, so I gotta
support the motherland.
I brought you a bottle.
242
00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:55,856
You're Irish?
My mother's from Galway.
243
00:14:55,929 --> 00:14:59,729
Geez, it's gonna be great
to get some more Irish blood
in the family here.
244
00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:02,869
You know, Todd here is English,
but we try not to think
about that.
245
00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:05,066
[ Laughs ]
246
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:07,908
You like Cubans?
Uh, yes.
247
00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:10,875
- Thank you.
- From what I understand, Ron,
248
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:13,784
you're a, uh--
you're a numbers man.
249
00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:15,976
Yes, sir.
I'm a financial consultant.
250
00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:18,489
I started out
as a numbers man.
251
00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:22,521
In fact, Ron, you remind me
a lot of myself when
I was a young man.
252
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:25,629
We can always use
more numbers men
in the company.
253
00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:29,102
You know,
it's overrun now with
too many goddamn lawyers.
254
00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:31,432
No offense, Todd.
255
00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:34,528
After all,
it is a family business.
256
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:37,001
Well, uh, thank you, sir.
It's a very generous offer.
257
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:39,110
No, no, no. Abe.
You call me Abe.
258
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:42,282
Looks like
you need a refill.
Todd!
259
00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:44,582
Yes, sir?
Let's go find that
bottle of yours, huh?
260
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:46,984
Take care of that,
would you?
[ Hisses ]
261
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:51,017
So, Ron, have you heard
the one about the horny jockey
and the Venezuelan stable boy?
262
00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:54,424
[ Ron Laughs ]
No, but it sounds painful.
263
00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,715
It's been a great
couple of months,
264
00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,990
and I can honestly say
that you are the best
two interns...
265
00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:03,601
we have ever had here.
266
00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:06,033
Unfortunately, we can only
hire one of you.
267
00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:09,799
So... let the best intern win!
268
00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:12,009
[ Crowd Cheering, Hooting ]
269
00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:14,612
[ Bell Rings ]
270
00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:20,107
Get in there, Maxie!
Get in there!
271
00:16:22,549 --> 00:16:25,019
Get angry! Get angry!
272
00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:27,145
[ Cell Phone Ringing ]
273
00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:29,320
Oh, that's not good.
[ Grunting ]
274
00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:33,059
- Y'ello.
- Ronny, it's Todd.
275
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:35,756
Oh, hey, Todd.
What-What's goin' on?
276
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:39,628
Oh, just a little thing
called your bachelor party.
So what's the game plan?
277
00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:41,699
I, uh, don't know.
278
00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:45,338
My buddies are big fans
of "Two-for-Tuesday"
lap dances at Spanky's.
279
00:16:45,405 --> 00:16:47,465
Listen, Ron,
this is your last hurrah.
280
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,880
We gotta do this thing
in style.
281
00:16:49,942 --> 00:16:52,512
Thinkin' we fly
somewhere warm, hmm?
282
00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:56,679
Where the drinks
have umbrellas,
the hotels are five stars,
283
00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:59,049
the vagina flows like water--
284
00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:01,449
Sweet, sticky water.
285
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:06,491
Wow. That sounds great,
but some of the guys
are on tight budgets.
286
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:08,559
That's what
the company card's for, right?
287
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:12,598
I mean, like Abe said,
this is a family business.
288
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:16,595
Look, that is very generous
of you, but I can't let you
pay for all that.
289
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:20,409
Look, I'm really happy
that you're marrying Mel.
290
00:17:22,109 --> 00:17:24,279
I mean, I always wanted
a brother,
291
00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:27,454
but unfortunately my mother
died when I was pretty young.
292
00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:30,554
Look, I know we're
not blood or anything,
293
00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:34,017
but, look, I would be honored
if you would let me...
294
00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:36,987
throw my new brother
his bachelor party.
295
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:40,056
Well-- Of course, Todd.
Yeah. Absolutely.
296
00:17:40,127 --> 00:17:42,327
Awesome.
297
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:45,995
Now listen, you probably
want to get some sleep,
bro-ham,
298
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:49,135
'cause you're gonna need it.
299
00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:51,902
Wow, Todd, I--
I'm so sorry about your mom.
300
00:17:51,971 --> 00:17:54,271
I never knew.
301
00:17:54,341 --> 00:17:56,511
Billy, are you
fucking retarded?
302
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:58,676
She's not dead.
She's in Phoenix...
303
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:02,475
with her second husband
and her third set of tits.
304
00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:05,389
I'm sorry.
Yeah. Yeah, you are.
305
00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:09,123
Now, look.
306
00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:11,859
I need recon on this guy.
Ron Simmons.
307
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:15,564
I wanna know
everything about him--
every little detail.
308
00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:19,628
Every man has
his weakness, Billy,
and I wanna know his.
309
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:25,099
The old man's
steppin' down soon.
I'm next in line.
310
00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:28,642
I haven't been sleeping
with this cow of a daughter
for the last three years...
311
00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:32,448
just so Daddy's little favorite
can come in and take it
from me.
312
00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:34,552
Uh-uh.
313
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:37,954
Mmm. Sadly, Billy,
314
00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:41,687
I just don't think
this little union's
gonna make it to the altar.
315
00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:43,764
Mmm.
316
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:47,033
[ Horn Honking ]
Let's go!
I'm still sober.
317
00:18:47,093 --> 00:18:50,633
Come on, man.
The chicks in South Beach
aren't gonna fuck themselves.
318
00:18:52,399 --> 00:18:56,339
- Hey, Mel.
- Hey, boys.
319
00:18:56,403 --> 00:19:00,773
I love you, baby doll.
See you soon. Mmm.
320
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,380
Hey-- Oh!
[ Chuckling ]
What's that for?
321
00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:06,153
Well, you gotta buy
the groom a lap dance.
322
00:19:06,213 --> 00:19:08,983
Pick a hottie.
323
00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:11,878
See? That's why
I'm marrying you.
324
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:15,216
[ Tires Screeching ]
Oh, shit.
325
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:17,718
It's my first wife.
Let's go, let's go,
let's go, let's go!
326
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:22,700
- Love you.
- Go, go, go.
Come on, go!
327
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:29,766
[ Tires Screeching ]
328
00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:37,181
Nice try, asshole.
329
00:19:37,244 --> 00:19:39,984
It's your weekend
with your son.
Remember?
330
00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:42,276
Hey, it's Ron's
bachelor party.
331
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:45,719
That is your problem,
shit for brains.
332
00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:48,823
Ron, congratulations.
333
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:51,258
Oh! Marriage
is a beautiful thing,
334
00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:53,564
and I am so
very happy for you.
335
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:56,296
Ass wipe.
336
00:19:57,264 --> 00:19:59,504
Thanks, Irene.
337
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,140
I'm sorry you're not
gonna be able to make it.
That sucks.
338
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,113
Get in the van, Ron.
Tick-tock, tick-tock.
339
00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:08,342
** [ Headphones: Rock ]
340
00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:11,838
All right, I'm goin', okay?
My life knows no joy.
341
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:16,621
All I know is work
and alimony payments
and babysitting.
342
00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:18,793
So if you think I'm missing out
on a weekend...
343
00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:21,351
of drunken debauchery,
you're sadly mistaken.
344
00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:25,361
Well, he can't come with.
This is a bachelor party,
not Romper Room.
345
00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:29,125
- Ron?
- Ron?
346
00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:32,995
- Ron?
- [ Jet Engine Whining ]
347
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:37,800
Wait a minute. This?
348
00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:41,140
This is your future
father-in-law's plane, man?
349
00:20:41,207 --> 00:20:43,507
Way to go, Federline.
350
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:47,076
- And this Todd guy, he's gonna
pay for the whole weekend?
- Yeah, I guess so.
351
00:20:47,146 --> 00:20:49,846
[ Laughs ]
Sounds gay to me, man.
352
00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,976
Yeah, we don't have
to put out, do we?
353
00:20:52,051 --> 00:20:55,521
Yeah, I'm not sleepin'
with your brother-in-law, Ron.
354
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:57,858
** [ Radio: Hip-hop ]
355
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:03,299
- [ Tires Screech ]
- What a douche.
356
00:21:03,363 --> 00:21:05,703
My niggas!
357
00:21:09,168 --> 00:21:11,938
Huh? What about this?
358
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:14,414
So, uh, guys, this is Todd.
Todd, the guys.
359
00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:17,244
Gentlemen.
Let's do this.
360
00:21:17,310 --> 00:21:20,010
[ Derek ] Nice sweater.
I guess purple's coming back.
Shotgun.
361
00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:22,879
Whoa. What's with the kid?
362
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:27,319
Oh, don't worry.
He's the mature one.
Perfect.
363
00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:31,588
[ Laughs ]
364
00:21:31,658 --> 00:21:34,428
Uh--
[ Chuckling ]
Oh, man.
365
00:21:35,995 --> 00:21:39,925
- What? What?
- Okay, okay, listen, guys.
366
00:21:39,999 --> 00:21:43,139
Take your sea--
Why don't you have
any pants on?
367
00:21:43,202 --> 00:21:45,142
What, this is
a private plane, right?
368
00:21:45,204 --> 00:21:47,274
Them's my privates.
369
00:21:47,340 --> 00:21:49,280
[ Laughs ]
[ Derek ]
Eww.
370
00:21:49,342 --> 00:21:51,582
Anyway, look.
Couple of flight attendants
are gonna come out.
371
00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:53,514
Go over some
safety precautions.
It's not a big deal.
372
00:21:53,580 --> 00:21:55,920
- Great.
- Oh, ladies?
373
00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:01,587
Hello, boys.
I'm Mandy.
And I'm Sandy.
374
00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:04,324
And I'm in the upright
and locked position.
375
00:22:04,391 --> 00:22:06,631
Yeah!
[ Laughs ]
376
00:22:06,693 --> 00:22:08,863
We'll be serving you
all the way
to sunny Florida.
377
00:22:08,928 --> 00:22:12,568
And I got two million
airline miles. Yeah!
378
00:22:12,632 --> 00:22:15,502
Hey, Derek. Offspring.
379
00:22:15,568 --> 00:22:19,068
Aw, geez. Hold on.
380
00:22:19,138 --> 00:22:21,138
Come on, "Melvoid."
Let's go.
381
00:22:21,207 --> 00:22:23,277
Dad, it's Tommy,
dumb ass.
382
00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:25,412
Go see Captain Larry
in the cockpit.
383
00:22:25,478 --> 00:22:27,378
I don't wanna go
to the cockpit.
Captain Larry.
384
00:22:27,447 --> 00:22:30,717
Don't forget
to wipe your ass.
385
00:22:30,783 --> 00:22:32,923
In the event
of a water landing,
386
00:22:32,985 --> 00:22:35,585
you will find several
flotation devices...
387
00:22:35,655 --> 00:22:37,755
on board the aircraft.
388
00:22:39,459 --> 00:22:42,129
[ Cell Phone Ringing ]
389
00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:44,134
Talk to me, Billy.
390
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:48,536
I've checked you
into the suite and made sure
the bar is fully stocked.
391
00:22:48,601 --> 00:22:52,071
- What about decorations
for the room?
- I'm taking care of that now.
392
00:22:52,138 --> 00:22:56,008
[ Chattering ]
393
00:23:04,551 --> 00:23:07,821
[ Tommy ]
Guys, come on.
Let me out.
394
00:23:08,921 --> 00:23:10,921
[ Laughs ]
395
00:23:10,990 --> 00:23:13,560
Oh.
396
00:23:13,626 --> 00:23:15,756
[ Derek Muttering ]
397
00:23:17,764 --> 00:23:20,774
You, sir,
know how to travel.
398
00:23:22,034 --> 00:23:24,544
Well, nothing is too good
for my new bro.
399
00:23:24,604 --> 00:23:26,774
All right.
Mmm.
400
00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:32,037
Speakin' of which,
have you ever had
two girls at once?
401
00:23:32,111 --> 00:23:36,521
Uh, actually, sadly, no.
But, uh, have you?
402
00:23:36,583 --> 00:23:38,653
Of course, or else
I wouldn't be married.
403
00:23:38,718 --> 00:23:43,188
Listen. I cannot let
my new brother get married
till he has had a hat trick,
404
00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:47,625
and I happen to have it
on very good authority...
405
00:23:47,694 --> 00:23:52,004
that Sandy and Mandy are,
mmm, morally flexible.
406
00:23:52,064 --> 00:23:54,404
[ Laughs ]
And I love that about them.
407
00:23:54,467 --> 00:23:56,737
I do, but, uh--
408
00:23:56,803 --> 00:23:58,813
I don't know,
I think this weekend...
409
00:23:58,871 --> 00:24:00,911
I just wanna hang out
with you guys...
410
00:24:00,973 --> 00:24:03,013
and get drunk
and maybe crap my pants.
411
00:24:03,075 --> 00:24:07,805
- You know.
I'm a traditionalist.
- Okay. You know what?
412
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:10,480
I'm gonna let this
little Boy Scout routine
fly for right now.
413
00:24:10,550 --> 00:24:12,650
[ Laughs ]
Let me tell you something.
414
00:24:12,719 --> 00:24:16,459
My motto in business
and in life...
415
00:24:16,523 --> 00:24:18,863
is "balls to the wall."
416
00:24:18,925 --> 00:24:21,655
Now, the mark
of a good bachelor party...
417
00:24:21,728 --> 00:24:24,758
is the bachelor
getting laid early and often.
418
00:24:24,831 --> 00:24:28,641
And the Todd only throws
the best bachelor parties.
419
00:24:33,673 --> 00:24:36,183
Ladies, do your worst.
420
00:24:36,242 --> 00:24:39,612
Guys, I'm-I'm fine. I really
don't want a lap dance now.
I'm fine.
421
00:24:39,679 --> 00:24:41,909
[ Both Giggling ]
Whoa.
422
00:24:41,981 --> 00:24:45,381
Wait. Can I just--
A little Purell first?
Like, two-two squirts, please?
423
00:24:45,451 --> 00:24:48,351
Shut it, germ boy.
424
00:24:48,420 --> 00:24:51,320
[ Screams ]
425
00:24:51,390 --> 00:24:52,960
Oh, dear God!
426
00:25:05,071 --> 00:25:08,681
- [ Mandy ]
Bye.
- Okay. All right.
427
00:25:08,741 --> 00:25:10,811
Thank you, ladies.
428
00:25:10,877 --> 00:25:14,807
Yeah!
[ Laughs ]
Drained it.
429
00:25:14,881 --> 00:25:17,721
[ Derek ]
See you on the Internet.
[ Laughs ]
430
00:25:17,784 --> 00:25:19,754
[ Mandy ]
See you on the way back.
431
00:25:19,819 --> 00:25:22,289
See ya. Thanks.
Whoa.
432
00:25:22,354 --> 00:25:25,024
[ Thuds ]
[ Whimpers ]
433
00:25:34,233 --> 00:25:37,143
[ Groans ]
434
00:25:37,203 --> 00:25:39,813
All right?
Way to go.
435
00:25:39,872 --> 00:25:43,312
One minute in Miami
and two broken arms.
That's our Seth.
436
00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:46,645
All right, gentlemen.
Gentlemen, listen up.
This is Billy.
437
00:25:46,713 --> 00:25:49,883
He's gonna be helping us out
with the, uh, festivities
this weekend.
438
00:25:49,949 --> 00:25:52,149
What's up?
Let's check it out.
439
00:25:52,218 --> 00:25:54,688
Come on.
Left, right.
440
00:25:58,124 --> 00:26:00,994
Welcome to
the presidential suite.
Wow.
441
00:26:01,060 --> 00:26:03,160
Ha, ha!
442
00:26:03,229 --> 00:26:05,729
Oh, my God.
They're really
letting me in this place?
443
00:26:05,798 --> 00:26:08,938
[ Laughing ]
Oh, look at this.
Whoo!
444
00:26:09,001 --> 00:26:12,271
Dip my balls in champagne,
'cause I'm in heaven.
445
00:26:12,338 --> 00:26:14,438
Groovy, Todd.
446
00:26:14,506 --> 00:26:18,506
Damn, Ron, I might just
bang your brother-in-law
after all, man.
447
00:26:18,577 --> 00:26:20,507
Oh, well,
thanks for that image.
448
00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:23,719
[ Laughs ]
Geez.
449
00:26:23,783 --> 00:26:25,793
You good over there, Seth?
Yes.
450
00:26:25,852 --> 00:26:28,022
All right, pal.
This place is amazing.
451
00:26:28,087 --> 00:26:30,187
Thank you.
Aw, nothin' but the best.
452
00:26:30,256 --> 00:26:33,156
Now, there is one more
stop on the tour.
453
00:26:37,630 --> 00:26:39,800
[ Chuckling ]
Yeah.
454
00:26:39,866 --> 00:26:43,536
[ Chattering ]
Gentlemen, say hello
to my little friends.
455
00:26:43,602 --> 00:26:45,602
[ Giggling ]
456
00:26:45,672 --> 00:26:47,642
Guten Tag.
Hello.
457
00:26:47,707 --> 00:26:49,877
Guten Tag.
458
00:26:51,477 --> 00:26:54,277
** [ Singing In German ]
459
00:27:06,558 --> 00:27:09,298
Eins! Zwei! Drei!
460
00:27:09,361 --> 00:27:11,701
Whoo!
461
00:27:11,764 --> 00:27:13,804
[ With German Accent ]
Long live Hitler!
462
00:27:17,236 --> 00:27:20,666
[ Groans ]
Just gonna--
I'm gonna hit the head.
463
00:27:20,740 --> 00:27:22,780
[ Ron ]
What are you
trying to do, kill me?
464
00:27:22,842 --> 00:27:25,212
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
[ Chattering ]
465
00:27:36,255 --> 00:27:38,155
Hey.
Move.
466
00:27:40,192 --> 00:27:42,902
So what do we got?
All right, so--
467
00:27:42,962 --> 00:27:46,272
There's a camera
in every single room.
Perfect.
468
00:27:46,332 --> 00:27:50,272
If this guy so much
as pops a stiffy,
we're gonna get it on tape.
469
00:27:52,204 --> 00:27:55,044
I'm telling you,
that German chick said
something about Hitler.
470
00:27:55,107 --> 00:27:58,237
My German's a little rusty,
but I am pretty sure
that she said,
471
00:27:58,310 --> 00:28:00,150
"Long live Hitler."
472
00:28:00,212 --> 00:28:03,382
Seth? Relax, pal.
Get a massage.
473
00:28:03,449 --> 00:28:06,219
I'm serious, okay?
As the only Jew here,
all right,
474
00:28:06,285 --> 00:28:09,515
I feel it is my responsibility
to be concerned...
475
00:28:09,588 --> 00:28:11,688
that our roommates
might be Nazis.
476
00:28:11,758 --> 00:28:13,658
All right, buddy,
I'll tell you what.
477
00:28:13,726 --> 00:28:17,496
If they even think
about invading Poland,
we'll let somebody know.
478
00:28:17,563 --> 00:28:21,373
All right, Ronny.
Gin and tonic time, buddy.
479
00:28:21,433 --> 00:28:25,073
Oh, fire it up. Ahhh.
480
00:28:26,906 --> 00:28:29,006
Will you just
drop it, please?
481
00:28:29,075 --> 00:28:31,075
Hey, I'm cool
with your sexuality, D.
482
00:28:31,143 --> 00:28:33,283
It's just, I don't
swing that way, man.
483
00:28:33,345 --> 00:28:37,215
Look. Asking you to rub
sunblock on my back
does not make you gay.
484
00:28:37,283 --> 00:28:39,793
Seriously. You might as well
have asked me for a hand job.
485
00:28:39,852 --> 00:28:42,022
Okay, that is just sick.
Hey.
486
00:28:42,088 --> 00:28:45,258
I smell cocktail wieners.
487
00:28:45,324 --> 00:28:48,194
What?
488
00:28:48,260 --> 00:28:50,830
Eureka.
489
00:28:50,897 --> 00:28:54,667
Okay.
What are you doing?
490
00:28:54,733 --> 00:28:57,203
You don't even know
what the S.A.A. is.
491
00:28:57,269 --> 00:28:59,669
It's Sales Associates
of America or some crap.
492
00:28:59,738 --> 00:29:02,978
Just, you know,
talk about selling
and goal realization...
493
00:29:03,042 --> 00:29:05,182
and all that other
Tony Robbins shit.
494
00:29:06,645 --> 00:29:08,945
Why am I Tubbs?
495
00:29:09,015 --> 00:29:12,215
Because you, sir,
are no Crockett.
496
00:29:12,284 --> 00:29:14,954
[ Clicks Tongue ]
497
00:29:15,021 --> 00:29:17,961
To be honest with you,
I was a bit nervous
coming here.
498
00:29:18,024 --> 00:29:22,494
When we first proposed
a Sex Addicts Anonymous retreat,
people rolled their eyes.
499
00:29:22,561 --> 00:29:24,831
The were, like, "Why not
just call it an orgy?"
Ooh.
500
00:29:24,897 --> 00:29:27,027
Oh, no, you'll see.
501
00:29:27,099 --> 00:29:29,199
These retreats offer
a very supportive
environment,
502
00:29:29,268 --> 00:29:33,168
where we can focus
on healing and getting
on the road to recovery.
503
00:29:33,239 --> 00:29:37,479
This weekend, sex will be
the farthest thing
from your mind.
504
00:29:37,543 --> 00:29:40,383
[ Chattering ]
505
00:29:42,148 --> 00:29:44,248
I can't get enough of that--
506
00:29:45,351 --> 00:29:48,291
You like guns, Pop?
What is that?
507
00:29:48,354 --> 00:29:51,894
The best day of my life
was the day they gave me
my 10-year chip.
508
00:29:51,958 --> 00:29:56,728
Oh, welcome.
I'm Sue Hoover, president
of the Southeast chapter.
509
00:29:56,795 --> 00:30:00,525
Oh, nice to meet you, Sue--
All of you.
510
00:30:00,599 --> 00:30:04,399
So what chapter
are you from, Tubbs?
Is that your first name?
511
00:30:04,470 --> 00:30:07,070
- Uh--
- Actually,
that's his last name.
512
00:30:07,139 --> 00:30:10,809
Yeah, I'm Sonny
and that's my partner Rico.
513
00:30:10,877 --> 00:30:13,047
Yeah. And we're from
the Midwest chapter.
514
00:30:13,112 --> 00:30:15,182
Welcome,
Sonny and Rico.
Yeah.
515
00:30:15,247 --> 00:30:17,347
So, how long
have you two been
in the program?
516
00:30:17,416 --> 00:30:21,316
- Oh, not very.
- Well, speak
for yourself, Rico,
517
00:30:21,387 --> 00:30:24,387
'cause I've been a member
for, oh, gosh, like, 20 years.
518
00:30:24,456 --> 00:30:27,226
Twenty years?
My goodness.
Yeah.
519
00:30:27,293 --> 00:30:30,533
- Wow.
- Yeah, I got started
really young.
520
00:30:30,596 --> 00:30:33,196
My grandpa, he was a member,
so he started teaching me early.
[ Coughs ]
521
00:30:33,265 --> 00:30:35,625
Oh, careful there,
Suzy Q.
522
00:30:35,701 --> 00:30:38,141
Those things
are a little tricky.
You gotta be careful.
523
00:30:38,204 --> 00:30:40,944
Yeah, you know,
between my grandpa
and the Boy Scouts,
524
00:30:41,007 --> 00:30:44,207
- it was like I was just born
to be in S.A.A.
- The Boy Scouts?
525
00:30:44,276 --> 00:30:46,546
Oh, yeah.
I did a lot of hustling
in the Scouts.
526
00:30:46,612 --> 00:30:48,682
Yeah, with
the Christmas tree lot
in the winter,
527
00:30:48,747 --> 00:30:52,377
and then goin' door to door
in the summertime--
whatever it took.
528
00:30:52,451 --> 00:30:55,421
My scoutmaster even said
I was the best he ever had.
[ Coughs ]
529
00:30:56,755 --> 00:30:58,255
I'm fine.
Are you all right?
530
00:30:58,324 --> 00:31:00,434
Okay, let's not bore
the nice people...
531
00:31:00,492 --> 00:31:02,492
with faded childhood
glories there, Sonny.
532
00:31:02,561 --> 00:31:08,271
Hey, Rico, isn't that
your kid over there?
Hmm?
533
00:31:08,334 --> 00:31:10,844
Not a lot of women
are comfortable with
a male "vaginacologist,"
534
00:31:10,903 --> 00:31:13,943
but I have many,
many satisfied patients.
535
00:31:14,006 --> 00:31:18,576
- I am booking appointments.
- Come on.
536
00:31:18,644 --> 00:31:21,214
So, uh, Betty.
Hmm?
537
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:23,550
You wanna maybe
grab a drink later?
538
00:31:23,615 --> 00:31:27,745
You know, talk shop?
I could always use some
pointers on my technique.
539
00:31:27,819 --> 00:31:31,259
Okay?
[ Chuckles ]
Man.
540
00:31:31,323 --> 00:31:34,263
- I need to call my sponsor.
- Mm-hmm.
541
00:31:37,529 --> 00:31:41,869
[ Todd ] Guys, let's go!
The stripper's aren't getting
any younger.
542
00:31:41,934 --> 00:31:47,074
- Sonny! Sonny!
- Hey!
543
00:31:47,139 --> 00:31:49,779
Betty, what's--
what's goin' on?
544
00:31:49,841 --> 00:31:54,011
Nothing. I just really
enjoyed talking
with you earlier.
545
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:56,880
Oh, well, th-that's cool.
Yeah.
546
00:31:56,949 --> 00:31:59,149
[ Chuckles ]
547
00:31:59,218 --> 00:32:02,488
Maybe, uh--
Maybe we should
hang out, you know?
548
00:32:02,554 --> 00:32:08,164
Grab a pizza, fuck?
[ Laughs ]
I thought you'd never ask.
549
00:32:08,227 --> 00:32:11,457
- Pardon?
- Well, I don't eat pizza,
but whatever.
550
00:32:14,333 --> 00:32:17,443
Gentlemen, I will see you later.
551
00:32:17,503 --> 00:32:19,673
[ Laughing ]
552
00:32:21,107 --> 00:32:23,707
That line has never worked.
I mean, ever.
553
00:32:23,775 --> 00:32:26,905
I'm gonna be really pissed
if she doesn't murder him,
554
00:32:26,979 --> 00:32:29,579
or at least harvest
a kidney, man.
555
00:32:29,648 --> 00:32:34,688
** [ Dance Rock ]
556
00:32:34,753 --> 00:32:37,993
[ Chattering ]
557
00:32:40,492 --> 00:32:44,762
Ugh! That-That pole's
gotta be covered
in crabs and herpes...
558
00:32:44,830 --> 00:32:46,900
and God knows what.
559
00:32:46,965 --> 00:32:50,435
I am so glad I cashed in
my 401(k), man.
560
00:32:50,502 --> 00:32:53,772
[ Groans ]
Gentlemen,
this booth's us.
561
00:32:53,839 --> 00:32:56,039
Come on.
562
00:33:00,046 --> 00:33:02,906
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
Excuse me, ladies.
563
00:33:02,981 --> 00:33:06,791
I hate to interrupt
this meeting of the minds,
but I got a work question.
564
00:33:06,852 --> 00:33:10,262
Who wants to make $10,000
for five minutes of work?
565
00:33:12,358 --> 00:33:15,658
Oh-- Back, back. Yeah.
There it is.
There it is.
566
00:33:15,727 --> 00:33:18,397
Aaah!
Yeah!
567
00:33:23,835 --> 00:33:25,995
Get into position.
568
00:33:32,211 --> 00:33:35,651
Oh! The conquering hero
has returned.
569
00:33:35,714 --> 00:33:37,654
[ Laughing ]
Yeah.
570
00:33:37,716 --> 00:33:40,916
- Hey, that didn't
take long, man.
- Trust me, dude.
571
00:33:40,986 --> 00:33:44,786
She couldn't take much more.
I fucking killed it--
Ninja style.
572
00:33:44,856 --> 00:33:49,526
- Oh, yeah?
What, like fast and silent?
- You know it, brother. Yeah.
573
00:33:49,595 --> 00:33:53,665
Hoo. Check it out.
That chick's a dead ringer
for a young Nancy Reagan.
574
00:33:53,732 --> 00:33:58,302
- [ Seth ] So?
- I always wanted to fuck
Nancy Reagan. Yeah!
575
00:33:58,370 --> 00:34:00,770
[ Seth ]
I was always fond
of Geraldine Ferraro.
576
00:34:00,839 --> 00:34:03,309
Very sexy.
Come on, bachelor.
577
00:34:03,375 --> 00:34:05,475
You've got a date
in the V.I.P. room.
578
00:34:05,544 --> 00:34:07,714
Go to the V.I.P.--
Oh, my God.
579
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:11,850
Whoa. Hey!
580
00:34:11,917 --> 00:34:15,717
Whoa! You're--
You're very nimble.
581
00:34:15,787 --> 00:34:19,017
Shh. Save your energy.
You're gonna need it.
582
00:34:19,091 --> 00:34:22,691
Oh.
[ Laughs ]
583
00:34:22,761 --> 00:34:24,901
Oh, wow.
584
00:34:24,963 --> 00:34:27,433
I've gotta get married
more often.
585
00:34:29,168 --> 00:34:31,868
Uh-- Hey. Hey.
586
00:34:31,937 --> 00:34:35,437
Maybe the belt
should stay buckled though.
No?
587
00:34:35,507 --> 00:34:37,437
Robin! Your mommy's
on the phone.
588
00:34:37,509 --> 00:34:40,649
- Your grandma
had a heart attack.
- Nana?
589
00:34:40,712 --> 00:34:43,152
Uh-huh.
590
00:34:43,215 --> 00:34:45,775
Oh, my God.
That's horrible. I--
591
00:34:45,851 --> 00:34:49,321
You're not going
anywhere, baby.
Hey. Hey-- Ah!
592
00:34:49,388 --> 00:34:52,218
[ Moaning ]
Okay.
593
00:34:52,291 --> 00:34:55,291
Hey. Hey-- That's a zipper.
594
00:34:55,361 --> 00:34:58,801
- That's happening now.
- Hey, back off!
595
00:34:58,864 --> 00:35:00,834
- He's mine.
- You can share.
596
00:35:00,899 --> 00:35:02,829
What? What?
Oh! Oh, Lord.
597
00:35:02,901 --> 00:35:06,241
- Maybe we've had enough.
That's my leg.
- You fucking bitch!
598
00:35:06,305 --> 00:35:09,375
[ Both Shouting ]
599
00:35:13,078 --> 00:35:15,208
[ Screams ]
600
00:35:15,281 --> 00:35:18,421
[ Whimpers, Screams ]
601
00:35:18,484 --> 00:35:21,524
Holy shit.
Come on, guys.
602
00:35:21,587 --> 00:35:24,687
- [ Ron Groaning ]
- Get the hell off of him.
603
00:35:24,756 --> 00:35:27,586
- [ Moans ]
- Hey!
604
00:35:27,659 --> 00:35:29,799
[ Groans ]
605
00:35:29,861 --> 00:35:33,061
[ Yelling ]
606
00:35:33,131 --> 00:35:36,601
[ Laughing ]
Yeah! Stripper fight!
607
00:35:36,668 --> 00:35:40,268
- [ Groans ]
- Get off! Get off!
608
00:35:41,540 --> 00:35:43,780
- [ Screaming ]
- [ Screams ]
609
00:35:46,044 --> 00:35:48,554
[ Screaming ]
610
00:35:58,690 --> 00:36:00,630
What is Todd's deal?
611
00:36:00,692 --> 00:36:02,932
Is he trying
to get me laid
or get me killed?
612
00:36:02,994 --> 00:36:05,404
Hey, man, there are
worse ways to die.
Yeah.
613
00:36:05,464 --> 00:36:07,874
Dudes, that chick
in the corner...
614
00:36:07,933 --> 00:36:11,173
is throwing me signals
like she's Johnny fuckin' Bench.
615
00:36:12,904 --> 00:36:14,674
She's paying more attention...
616
00:36:14,740 --> 00:36:18,280
to the floating lint
than you, dude.
617
00:36:18,344 --> 00:36:20,584
All right, let's get down
to brass tacks, okay?
618
00:36:20,646 --> 00:36:24,546
Are you ready
for marriage, Ron?
I think so. Yeah.
619
00:36:24,616 --> 00:36:27,346
Oh. So you're ready
to say good-bye
to blow jobs?
620
00:36:27,419 --> 00:36:29,319
'Cause that's
the first thing that goes.
621
00:36:29,388 --> 00:36:34,188
Married women
don't give blow jobs.
It's a union thing, man.
622
00:36:34,260 --> 00:36:36,430
And then your sports
that you love,
623
00:36:36,495 --> 00:36:38,495
that's the next thing
you can kiss good-bye.
624
00:36:38,564 --> 00:36:42,004
- Mel likes sports.
- No, no, no.
625
00:36:42,067 --> 00:36:43,937
They pretend they like sports,
626
00:36:44,002 --> 00:36:46,872
the same way we pretend
we like talkin' to them.
627
00:36:46,938 --> 00:36:49,478
The only sports
you're gonna get
when you're married...
628
00:36:49,541 --> 00:36:51,781
is Little League T-Ball.
629
00:36:51,843 --> 00:36:54,413
And I've seen that stuff,
and trust me, Ron.
630
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:59,590
Most of those kids
really fuckin' suck,
okay?
631
00:36:59,651 --> 00:37:02,521
And by the time they
take away the last thing...
632
00:37:02,588 --> 00:37:05,258
that gives you any
pleasure at all-- booze--
633
00:37:05,324 --> 00:37:08,734
you've forgotten
what happiness is.
634
00:37:08,794 --> 00:37:11,304
So now you're just
walking around,
635
00:37:11,363 --> 00:37:14,473
an empty shell
of the man you once were.
636
00:37:14,533 --> 00:37:16,873
And that's when
they leave you, Ron.
Hmm.
637
00:37:16,935 --> 00:37:21,065
Claimin' that
"You're not the man
I married."
638
00:37:21,139 --> 00:37:24,439
Well, no shit, hey?
639
00:37:24,510 --> 00:37:26,950
Thanks for playin',
and here's a parting gift.
640
00:37:27,012 --> 00:37:31,252
Child support and alimony
right up the ass!
641
00:37:37,055 --> 00:37:39,925
And... that's marriage, Ron.
642
00:37:39,991 --> 00:37:41,931
You ready for that?
643
00:37:45,564 --> 00:37:47,734
I'm gonna go pee.
Mmm.
644
00:37:47,799 --> 00:37:49,769
Yeah?
Yeah.
645
00:37:53,405 --> 00:37:56,575
I need some pills.
[ Groans ]
646
00:37:56,642 --> 00:37:59,852
Oh, for God's sakes.
Let me help you with that.
Oh, thanks.
647
00:37:59,911 --> 00:38:02,411
Just don't get any ideas.
I'm not gonna wipe
your ass later.
648
00:38:02,481 --> 00:38:04,551
Ooh. My old friend codeine.
649
00:38:04,616 --> 00:38:06,716
Nice. Two for me,
one for you?
No, no, no.
650
00:38:06,785 --> 00:38:08,845
I need that stuff, man.
Wait a minute.
651
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:11,790
- Can you drink with those?
- It's way better
when you drink.
652
00:38:11,857 --> 00:38:15,187
One beer is not
gonna be a problem.
653
00:38:15,260 --> 00:38:20,030
Aw, come on, man.
Marriage is outdated, Ron.
We don't need 'em.
654
00:38:20,098 --> 00:38:23,198
Yeah, we never should
have, uh, given women
the right to vote.
655
00:38:23,268 --> 00:38:25,368
Okay, that's it.
656
00:38:25,437 --> 00:38:27,437
Let's take it easy, shall we?
657
00:38:27,506 --> 00:38:31,676
It's been kind of a long night,
what with the gang rape and all.
[ Snoring ]
658
00:38:31,743 --> 00:38:34,783
Oh, God. I'm gonna walk
Sleeping Beauty back up
to his room.
659
00:38:34,846 --> 00:38:38,216
Come on.
Okay. I gotta go
to the garden party.
660
00:38:38,283 --> 00:38:40,353
Okay, careful. Careful.
[ Indistinct ]
661
00:38:40,419 --> 00:38:43,689
Okay. That's good for you.
662
00:38:43,755 --> 00:38:46,425
You guys, uh--
You guys comin',
or what?
663
00:38:46,492 --> 00:38:49,362
No, I think I'm gonna
stay here, man.
664
00:38:49,428 --> 00:38:52,628
That chick over there
is beggin' me for it.
665
00:38:52,698 --> 00:38:57,038
- [ No Audible Dialogue ]
- I'm not gonna miss this.
666
00:38:57,102 --> 00:38:59,372
Why would you?
667
00:39:00,539 --> 00:39:04,439
Seth?
[ Groans ]
668
00:39:10,248 --> 00:39:12,378
Hi.
[ Chuckles ]
Hi.
669
00:39:12,451 --> 00:39:14,551
He's, uh--
He's had kind of
a long day.
670
00:39:14,620 --> 00:39:17,690
It's definitely past
someone's bedtime.
Yeah.
671
00:39:17,756 --> 00:39:21,426
Sorry about that.
Come on, pal.
[ Seth Mumbles ]
672
00:39:21,493 --> 00:39:23,903
Here you go. Oh, geez.
[ Laughs ]
673
00:39:27,699 --> 00:39:30,239
So, uh, do you wanna
take a picture,
674
00:39:30,301 --> 00:39:33,411
or should I give you
a piece of paper
so you can sketch them?
675
00:39:33,472 --> 00:39:35,572
Take a picture.
Oh, no.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
676
00:39:35,641 --> 00:39:38,481
I'm from Cleveland,
and I was noticing
your shirt.
677
00:39:38,544 --> 00:39:42,654
Are you a Browns fan?
My father is from Cleveland,
so I was brainwashed early.
678
00:39:42,714 --> 00:39:44,954
I'm a Cavs fan,
but they're breaking
my heart right now.
679
00:39:45,016 --> 00:39:47,146
[ Man On TV, Indistinct ]
Aw, come on, LeBron.
680
00:39:47,218 --> 00:39:50,118
Shoot less commercials
and more free throws.
[ Seth ] Come on, LeBron.
681
00:39:50,188 --> 00:39:54,558
So you're-- you're
a big Cleveland fan, huh?
Such is my curse.
682
00:39:54,626 --> 00:39:57,096
Well, uh--
[ Snoring ]
683
00:39:57,162 --> 00:39:59,872
He's drooling on me now,
684
00:39:59,931 --> 00:40:04,141
so I should probably go,
but it was nice
meeting you.
685
00:40:04,202 --> 00:40:08,042
[ Laughing ] You too.
All right.
Come on, little prince.
686
00:40:08,106 --> 00:40:10,576
[ Seth ]
Bye, LeBron.
687
00:40:10,642 --> 00:40:13,552
Hey, it's Mel.
Leave a message.
I'll call you back.
688
00:40:13,612 --> 00:40:16,552
Hey, babe.
Just callin' to say hi.
689
00:40:16,615 --> 00:40:19,315
I miss you. Um--
690
00:40:19,384 --> 00:40:21,454
Gimme a call whenever.
691
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:24,420
I'll talk to you then.
Love you. Bye.
692
00:40:25,356 --> 00:40:27,486
[ Women Giggling ]
693
00:40:31,262 --> 00:40:33,262
[ Giggling Continues ]
694
00:40:33,331 --> 00:40:36,471
Guten Abend.
695
00:40:36,535 --> 00:40:40,105
- Mmm.
[ Chuckles ]
- Balls to the wall, Ron.
696
00:40:40,171 --> 00:40:43,981
Yeah, you know,
I think I'm more
of a couch sleeper.
697
00:40:44,042 --> 00:40:46,482
[ Chuckles ]
Auf Wiedersehen, ladies.
698
00:40:46,545 --> 00:40:48,745
[ Muffled Giggling ]
699
00:41:00,759 --> 00:41:04,599
Oh, what is wrong
with this guy?
700
00:41:04,663 --> 00:41:07,833
Who walks away from that?
701
00:41:07,899 --> 00:41:10,469
[ Giggling ]
702
00:41:10,536 --> 00:41:13,666
Oh. Oh.
703
00:41:23,214 --> 00:41:25,484
[ Snoring ]
704
00:41:27,485 --> 00:41:30,555
Wakey, wakey, D.
Uh, Nacho Bellgrande.
705
00:41:30,622 --> 00:41:32,692
[ Groaning ]
706
00:41:32,758 --> 00:41:34,928
[ Women Giggling ]
707
00:41:34,993 --> 00:41:37,803
Morning, ladies.
[ Women ]
Guten Morgen.
708
00:41:55,146 --> 00:41:58,146
[ Muttering ]
709
00:42:04,690 --> 00:42:06,860
There is my book.
710
00:42:06,925 --> 00:42:09,655
Oh. I did--
[ Laughs ]
Danke schön.
711
00:42:09,728 --> 00:42:13,058
I set a banana on--
It wa--
712
00:42:13,131 --> 00:42:16,071
It was--
713
00:42:16,134 --> 00:42:19,674
[ Exhales ]
Oh, God.
714
00:42:19,738 --> 00:42:22,668
She wasn't just reading
Hitler's manifesto, okay?
715
00:42:22,741 --> 00:42:26,081
She was highlighting it.
Those girls are Nazis!
716
00:42:26,144 --> 00:42:29,984
Well, maybe,
but they're hot Nazis.
"Hotzis."
717
00:42:30,048 --> 00:42:31,418
[ Chuckles ]
718
00:42:31,482 --> 00:42:34,122
[ Groans ]
719
00:42:39,057 --> 00:42:41,627
What the fuck!
720
00:42:43,929 --> 00:42:48,429
Hey. What the hell
is this?
What?
721
00:42:48,499 --> 00:42:50,969
This. What is this?
722
00:42:51,036 --> 00:42:53,396
- That's your wedding ring.
- My what?
723
00:42:53,471 --> 00:42:56,271
Your wedding ring.
You got married last night.
You don't remember?
724
00:42:56,341 --> 00:42:59,181
- [ Together ]
What?
- Yeah. After you guys left,
725
00:42:59,244 --> 00:43:02,314
he went over to that
little chippie at the bar
and they actually hit it off.
726
00:43:02,380 --> 00:43:06,020
Then we went out
and had some drinks,
did some dancing.
727
00:43:06,084 --> 00:43:10,024
Before you know it, we were
in a little chapel in Boca.
I was your best man.
728
00:43:10,088 --> 00:43:13,688
You were my best man?
You let me marry her?
What the fuck!
729
00:43:13,759 --> 00:43:15,929
I was honored
to be asked, buddy.
730
00:43:15,994 --> 00:43:18,564
[ Stammers ]
731
00:43:18,630 --> 00:43:20,730
Oh. Okay, guys.
732
00:43:20,799 --> 00:43:23,399
Ha, ha, ha. I've been punk'd.
Very funny.
733
00:43:23,468 --> 00:43:25,498
- You're fuckin' with me, right?
- Actually, I'm not.
734
00:43:25,570 --> 00:43:29,170
Been waiting
all morning to show you
your marriage certificate.
735
00:43:31,176 --> 00:43:33,576
Yeah, yeah.
Could have got this done
at a Kinko's.
736
00:43:33,645 --> 00:43:35,775
Two minutes.
Ha, ha. Very funny.
737
00:43:35,847 --> 00:43:37,847
Then there's always
the video.
738
00:43:37,916 --> 00:43:41,186
[ Derek Cackling ]
I'm gettin' married!
739
00:43:41,252 --> 00:43:45,892
I'm-I'm in love
with Sonia Hernandez.
740
00:43:45,957 --> 00:43:48,757
Who's Sonia Hernandez?
741
00:43:48,827 --> 00:43:51,357
That's your new
stepmom, twit.
Seriously? Again?
742
00:43:51,429 --> 00:43:54,629
Dad, tell me
this is a joke.
743
00:43:54,700 --> 00:43:56,870
Look, I don't remember
what happened.
744
00:43:56,935 --> 00:43:58,865
You don't remember?
What is the matter with you?
745
00:43:58,937 --> 00:44:01,737
Okay, you hold on,
'cause I'm still your father.
746
00:44:01,807 --> 00:44:03,737
Oh, you sure?
'Cause sometimes
I don't know...
747
00:44:03,809 --> 00:44:07,149
who's the adult
and who's the child.
748
00:44:08,914 --> 00:44:11,524
Thanks a lot, ass.
749
00:44:11,582 --> 00:44:14,292
** [ Soft Rock ]
750
00:44:16,521 --> 00:44:18,791
[ Knocking ]
751
00:44:28,399 --> 00:44:30,699
Surprise bachelorette party!
752
00:44:30,769 --> 00:44:32,839
[ Screams, Blows Noisemaker ]
753
00:44:32,904 --> 00:44:36,314
Thank you. Hi.
[ Chattering, Laughing ]
754
00:44:45,984 --> 00:44:49,394
You know what I love
about golf, Ron?
755
00:44:49,454 --> 00:44:53,124
What's that, Todd?
It just has so much
in common with women.
756
00:44:53,191 --> 00:44:55,361
I mean, the finest,
most gorgeous courses
in the world...
757
00:44:55,426 --> 00:44:58,626
are also the most expensive
and the most difficult.
758
00:44:58,696 --> 00:45:00,726
I mean, sure we like
to kick around...
759
00:45:00,799 --> 00:45:02,899
with a shitty little
par three now and again--
760
00:45:02,968 --> 00:45:05,168
Long as our buddies
don't see us, right?
Mmm.
761
00:45:05,236 --> 00:45:07,466
The beauty of golf
is variety.
762
00:45:07,538 --> 00:45:10,038
You don't want
to play the same hole
every day.
763
00:45:10,108 --> 00:45:12,908
Even if you are
playing the backside.
764
00:45:12,978 --> 00:45:15,378
Well, that's, uh--
765
00:45:15,446 --> 00:45:19,046
That's beautiful, Todd,
but I think I'm more
of a one-hole kind of a guy.
766
00:45:19,117 --> 00:45:21,417
I'm a three-hole man,
myself.
767
00:45:21,486 --> 00:45:23,486
Right.
768
00:45:23,554 --> 00:45:25,564
All right, boys,
what do you say we
make it interesting?
769
00:45:25,623 --> 00:45:29,033
- Five hundred a man.
- Uh, how about we
keep it to 100, huh?
770
00:45:29,094 --> 00:45:31,164
- And we play Kennedy rules.
- What are Kennedy rules?
771
00:45:31,229 --> 00:45:34,099
Ted Kennedy.
All right? Yeah.
772
00:45:34,165 --> 00:45:37,665
You lose a hole, you drink.
You hit it in the sand,
you drink.
773
00:45:37,735 --> 00:45:39,965
Seth "whiffs" the ball,
we all drink.
774
00:45:40,038 --> 00:45:42,438
- I don't even want to play.
- Well, you're gonna.
775
00:45:42,507 --> 00:45:45,237
We played at the putt-putt.
The rules will transfer
just fine.
776
00:45:45,310 --> 00:45:48,310
Fair enough.
We're also gonna play
Todd rules.
777
00:45:48,379 --> 00:45:50,519
What are Todd rules?
778
00:45:50,581 --> 00:45:53,951
Strip golf.
Lose a hole,
you lose some clothes.
779
00:45:54,019 --> 00:45:56,959
I told you he was a 'mo.
Come on, pay up.
780
00:45:57,022 --> 00:45:59,492
Not us. The caddies.
781
00:45:59,557 --> 00:46:01,827
Oh, and that's
less gay how?
782
00:46:01,893 --> 00:46:05,003
Those are our caddies.
783
00:46:18,509 --> 00:46:20,549
Hey, guys.
784
00:46:20,611 --> 00:46:23,921
Hey, Ashley couldn't
make it, but her sister
is coming.
785
00:46:23,982 --> 00:46:26,052
Oh. Here she comes now.
786
00:46:26,117 --> 00:46:30,287
Sorry I'm late.
My bunions are killing me.
787
00:46:30,355 --> 00:46:32,555
I call this one.
Wait, wait.
She's mine.
788
00:46:37,362 --> 00:46:41,432
Oh, this day just keeps
getting better and better.
789
00:46:45,303 --> 00:46:47,313
[ Whistling ]
790
00:46:47,372 --> 00:46:49,342
Yeah.
791
00:46:49,407 --> 00:46:51,437
Oh.
792
00:46:51,509 --> 00:46:54,449
Hmm.
793
00:47:02,553 --> 00:47:05,293
Whoa!
794
00:47:05,356 --> 00:47:07,656
[ Man ]
* It could be 10:00
but then again *
795
00:47:07,725 --> 00:47:11,655
* I can't remember half an hour
since a quarter to 4:00 *
796
00:47:11,729 --> 00:47:14,469
* Throw on your clothes
The second side
of Surfer Rosa *
797
00:47:14,532 --> 00:47:16,942
* And then you leave me
with my jaw on the floor *
798
00:47:17,002 --> 00:47:19,542
* Hey *
799
00:47:19,604 --> 00:47:21,844
Ah.
800
00:47:21,907 --> 00:47:24,307
* Just when you think
you're in control *
801
00:47:24,375 --> 00:47:27,105
* Just when you think
you've got a hold *
802
00:47:27,178 --> 00:47:28,808
* Just when you get
on a roll *
803
00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:32,020
* Here it goes
Here it goes
Here it goes again *
804
00:47:32,083 --> 00:47:34,423
* Oh, here it goes again
Should have known *
805
00:47:34,485 --> 00:47:36,715
* Should have known
Should have known again *
806
00:47:36,787 --> 00:47:38,857
* But here it goes again *
807
00:47:38,924 --> 00:47:41,394
* Oh, oh, here it goes again *
808
00:47:44,629 --> 00:47:47,229
* It starts out easy
Something simple
something sleazy *
809
00:47:47,298 --> 00:47:50,798
* Something inching past
the edge of reserve *
810
00:47:50,868 --> 00:47:54,508
* Now through the lines
of the cheap venetian blinds *
811
00:47:54,572 --> 00:47:57,212
* Your car is pulling
off of the curb *
812
00:47:57,275 --> 00:48:00,645
- * Hey *
- Oh, I can't. No!
813
00:48:00,711 --> 00:48:03,081
* Just when you think
you're in control *
814
00:48:03,148 --> 00:48:05,148
* Just when you think
you've got a hold *
815
00:48:05,216 --> 00:48:07,216
* Just when you get
on a roll *
816
00:48:07,285 --> 00:48:11,015
* Oh, here it goes
Here it goes
Here it goes again *
817
00:48:11,089 --> 00:48:13,419
* Oh, here it goes again *
818
00:48:13,491 --> 00:48:15,891
All right.
819
00:48:15,961 --> 00:48:18,061
Oh, God.
820
00:48:18,129 --> 00:48:20,669
- Up yours, buddy.
- [ Yells ]
821
00:48:20,731 --> 00:48:23,431
- Drained it.
- Oh, yes!
822
00:48:23,501 --> 00:48:27,371
* But, Jesus, when it rains
how it pours *
823
00:48:27,438 --> 00:48:29,708
* Throw on your clothes
The second side
of Surfer Rosa *
824
00:48:29,774 --> 00:48:32,314
* And then you leave me
Yeah, you leave me *
825
00:48:32,377 --> 00:48:35,707
Fore!
[ Todd ]
Come back. Come back.
826
00:48:35,780 --> 00:48:37,920
* Oh, here it goes
Here it goes
Here it goes *
827
00:48:37,983 --> 00:48:39,753
[ Chattering, Cheering ]
828
00:48:39,817 --> 00:48:42,087
[ Laughing ]
829
00:48:42,153 --> 00:48:44,123
* Should have known
Should have known again *
830
00:48:44,189 --> 00:48:48,059
- Miss it.
- * But here it goes again
Oh, here it goes *
831
00:48:48,126 --> 00:48:49,996
- Miss it. Miss it.
- * Here it goes again *
832
00:48:50,061 --> 00:48:53,331
- * I should have known *
- [ Jason ] Noonan. Noonan.
833
00:48:53,398 --> 00:48:55,728
* Now here it goes again *
834
00:48:55,800 --> 00:48:58,440
[ Jason ]
Oh, yeah. That's my boy!
835
00:48:58,503 --> 00:49:02,013
- * Here it goes again **
- [ Cheering ]
836
00:49:05,910 --> 00:49:09,680
[ Cheering Continues ]
837
00:49:11,649 --> 00:49:14,319
** [ Ends ]
838
00:49:16,821 --> 00:49:18,721
Let me get this
right, Ron.
839
00:49:18,789 --> 00:49:21,559
Your smokin' hot caddy
asked you to play
a 19th hole,
840
00:49:21,626 --> 00:49:23,586
and you said no?
841
00:49:23,661 --> 00:49:26,031
Dude, I'm gonna have
to check your balls
for gay.
842
00:49:26,097 --> 00:49:28,497
Are you remotely familiar
with how monogamy works?
843
00:49:28,566 --> 00:49:30,536
[ Jason ] No!
All right, boys,
listen up.
844
00:49:30,601 --> 00:49:33,341
- [ Grunts ]
- Tonight I got
something special planned.
845
00:49:33,404 --> 00:49:35,544
We're going to
the biggest party
down at the beach.
846
00:49:35,606 --> 00:49:37,906
We're comin' back here
and we're drinkin'
all night.
847
00:49:37,975 --> 00:49:40,705
All right?
Get some rest.
848
00:49:40,778 --> 00:49:42,908
We're goin' balls to the wall.
849
00:49:42,980 --> 00:49:46,080
- Is Seth okay?
- He's fine.
850
00:49:46,151 --> 00:49:49,891
I, on the other hand,
got way too much
exercise.
851
00:49:49,954 --> 00:49:52,094
Ah. Wunderbar.
852
00:49:52,157 --> 00:49:55,627
Mmm. You want?
853
00:49:55,693 --> 00:49:57,603
Nein.
All right.
854
00:49:57,662 --> 00:50:00,832
Scaredy cat.
Hey.
855
00:50:00,898 --> 00:50:05,068
Can you guys believe this?
There's, like, 12 pages
of Hernandezes in here.
856
00:50:05,136 --> 00:50:07,336
In Miami? Shocking.
857
00:50:07,405 --> 00:50:12,405
Here's what we'll do, okay?
If each of us phones 75--
Right? That should work--
858
00:50:12,477 --> 00:50:15,147
Wait a minute.
Where's-Where's Tommy?
859
00:50:15,213 --> 00:50:18,653
Sonny? Hello? Sonny?
860
00:50:18,716 --> 00:50:21,186
- Hey, hey, you.
- Hey.
861
00:50:21,252 --> 00:50:25,062
This is Shawna.
Hi.
862
00:50:25,123 --> 00:50:28,293
You think you can
take care of her the way
you took care of me?
863
00:50:28,359 --> 00:50:31,359
Does the pope shit in the woods?
One second.
864
00:50:31,429 --> 00:50:34,199
Alley-oop.
865
00:50:39,104 --> 00:50:42,244
Okay. Did you girls lose
a bet or something? Huh?
866
00:50:42,307 --> 00:50:45,077
Daddy's little helper.
867
00:50:45,143 --> 00:50:47,253
Look out, ladies.
Here I come.
868
00:50:47,312 --> 00:50:50,822
Your friend--
He's just amazing.
869
00:50:50,881 --> 00:50:53,381
- Eww.
- Mr. Amazing is back.
870
00:50:53,451 --> 00:50:55,791
[ Chuckles ]
All right.
871
00:50:55,853 --> 00:51:00,763
I'll catch you guys later.
Hey, man, gimme the phone book.
I'll help you out.
872
00:51:10,868 --> 00:51:13,868
[ Billiard Ball Clacks ]
873
00:51:13,938 --> 00:51:18,208
Autumn, can we do this tonight,
at, like, a club or something?
874
00:51:18,276 --> 00:51:22,106
These guys are not here
to play bachelorette games.
875
00:51:22,180 --> 00:51:24,150
They're here to feed
their drinking problems.
876
00:51:24,215 --> 00:51:26,475
I have everything
all set up,
877
00:51:26,551 --> 00:51:28,921
and if you start
changing things now,
it'll mess everything up...
878
00:51:28,986 --> 00:51:32,486
and we won't get home
in time for your surprise--
Okay.
879
00:51:32,557 --> 00:51:34,627
Okay. Okay.
880
00:51:36,594 --> 00:51:38,564
Mm-hmm.
881
00:51:41,999 --> 00:51:44,069
Excuse me. Hi. Hi.
882
00:51:44,135 --> 00:51:47,305
It's my bachelorette party,
and, well, I was just
wondering...
883
00:51:47,372 --> 00:51:49,412
if you wanted
to pay a dollar to,
884
00:51:49,474 --> 00:51:52,214
well, suck a piece
of candy off my shirt.
885
00:51:53,778 --> 00:51:56,648
Here's 10, but leave me
the fuck alone.
886
00:52:02,119 --> 00:52:04,389
Nice throw, Son.
887
00:52:04,455 --> 00:52:06,915
[ Derek ]
Hey, Tommy, it's me again.
888
00:52:06,991 --> 00:52:11,731
Look. I, uh--
I want to apologize
for this morning.
889
00:52:11,796 --> 00:52:15,766
It's-It's not your fault
that your dad's
a fuck-up.
890
00:52:15,833 --> 00:52:20,743
Just call me when you can.
I'm worried about you and--
891
00:52:20,805 --> 00:52:24,735
I-- I love you, okay?
892
00:52:24,809 --> 00:52:27,479
Okay. Bye.
893
00:52:36,187 --> 00:52:39,287
Hey, guy!
Little help here?
894
00:52:43,928 --> 00:52:49,428
- Oh! What the hell
is wrong with you?
- Just wasted a beer.
895
00:52:55,973 --> 00:52:58,643
Hi. Can I have a Jameson
on the rocks, please?
896
00:53:02,613 --> 00:53:04,483
Tough day?
897
00:53:04,549 --> 00:53:08,689
Hey! Browns girl.
[ Chuckles ]
898
00:53:08,753 --> 00:53:10,563
What, do you live
in this bar?
Practically.
899
00:53:10,621 --> 00:53:13,091
Tony makes the best mojitos
in South Beach.
900
00:53:13,157 --> 00:53:15,057
And it's Eva, by the way.
901
00:53:15,125 --> 00:53:17,295
Hi. I'm Ron.
902
00:53:18,396 --> 00:53:21,326
So, Ron,
what's going on?
903
00:53:21,399 --> 00:53:24,269
I am-- I am here
for my bachelor party.
904
00:53:24,335 --> 00:53:27,565
Your bachelor party?
Oh, well.
905
00:53:27,638 --> 00:53:31,578
That bums me out.
I thought you were cute.
906
00:53:34,044 --> 00:53:38,824
Oh, um, thank you.
[ Laughs ]
I'm, uh-- I'm flattered.
907
00:53:38,883 --> 00:53:42,323
[ Chuckles ]
Easy, cowboy.
I'm just bustin' your balls.
908
00:53:42,387 --> 00:53:45,857
Hello. I'm engaged too.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Laughs ]
909
00:53:45,923 --> 00:53:48,793
God, is everyone
from Cleveland this gullible?
910
00:53:48,859 --> 00:53:51,629
They have done studies.
Yeah, yeah.
911
00:53:51,696 --> 00:53:54,466
So, uh, when is
your big day, hmm?
912
00:53:54,532 --> 00:53:56,772
Well, we just started
dating a year ago.
913
00:53:56,834 --> 00:54:01,774
So, between you, me and Tony,
I'm not exactly in a rush.
914
00:54:01,839 --> 00:54:05,379
I don't wanna make
a lifelong mistake.
You know what I mean?
915
00:54:07,645 --> 00:54:09,875
Tony, can I have
another, please?
916
00:54:14,251 --> 00:54:17,761
** [ Singing In German ]
917
00:54:20,358 --> 00:54:23,558
** [ Humming Along ]
918
00:54:25,896 --> 00:54:27,826
Ah, don't kill me!
919
00:54:27,898 --> 00:54:33,398
- Seth!
- I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.
Whoa. Not fine.
920
00:54:35,306 --> 00:54:39,106
I need-- I need my--
Where's my medication?
921
00:54:39,176 --> 00:54:41,206
I think the fat boy
took them.
922
00:54:41,278 --> 00:54:44,318
Oh, that's just great!
923
00:54:44,382 --> 00:54:47,622
Maybe this will help.
924
00:54:47,685 --> 00:54:49,585
Thanks.
925
00:54:49,654 --> 00:54:54,834
Oh. Uh, so, you, um--
You have a really nice--
926
00:54:54,892 --> 00:54:58,362
You have a really nice voice.
What was that song
you were singing?
927
00:54:58,429 --> 00:55:03,969
That's a song I used to sing
when I was a little girl with
my great-grandfather, Adolph.
928
00:55:04,034 --> 00:55:07,714
[ Gagging ]
929
00:55:07,772 --> 00:55:10,712
I'm fine. You said your--
your grandpa who?
930
00:55:10,775 --> 00:55:13,675
My great-grandfather,
Adolph!
[ Nervous Laugh ]
931
00:55:13,744 --> 00:55:17,684
- He's so sweet.
He lives in South America.
- Yeah, I bet.
932
00:55:17,748 --> 00:55:19,578
- He calls me every week.
- Oh.
933
00:55:19,650 --> 00:55:22,320
And he wants me to go to art
school like he did in Vienna.
934
00:55:22,387 --> 00:55:25,417
Oh, art school.
That's-- That's fun.
Yes.
935
00:55:25,490 --> 00:55:28,760
- But I'm not interested in art.
- No.
936
00:55:28,826 --> 00:55:32,856
- I like politics.
- [ Laughing ]
937
00:55:32,930 --> 00:55:36,070
Uh, can you-- can you give me,
maybe, the whole bottle?
938
00:55:38,503 --> 00:55:40,573
[ Whimpers ]
939
00:55:40,638 --> 00:55:43,238
Two months?
I see your friend's point.
940
00:55:43,307 --> 00:55:45,837
What if she turns out to be
a serial killer or something?
941
00:55:45,910 --> 00:55:48,850
I was once dated a guy
for six months.
He turned out to be gay.
942
00:55:48,913 --> 00:55:51,623
- Maybe you made him gay.
- Oh, I definitely made him gay.
943
00:55:51,682 --> 00:55:54,752
I used to outdistance him
on the driving range
by 50 yards.
944
00:55:54,819 --> 00:55:56,989
- Pansy.
- You golf too, huh?
945
00:55:57,054 --> 00:56:00,364
Mm-hmm.
All right. I totally would
have gone gay for you also.
946
00:56:00,425 --> 00:56:04,455
I mean, not without
the whole man--
You know what I'm saying.
947
00:56:04,529 --> 00:56:07,629
Well, sir, flattery
will get you another drink.
948
00:56:07,698 --> 00:56:11,768
Wait. No, no. I can't.
I can't. I can't.
I got this, uh,
949
00:56:11,836 --> 00:56:14,266
Beach Blanket Bingo thing
to go to here.
950
00:56:14,338 --> 00:56:16,538
Fine. Leave me.
I got Tony.
951
00:56:16,607 --> 00:56:18,537
Oh. Well, you've got
the world then.
952
00:56:22,580 --> 00:56:24,980
Hey, why don't you
come with?
953
00:56:26,784 --> 00:56:29,654
I don't think a girl
should crash
your bachelor party.
954
00:56:29,720 --> 00:56:32,620
Come on. It's free booze
and drunk spring break kids.
955
00:56:32,690 --> 00:56:34,790
What more could you possibly
want from an evening?
956
00:56:34,859 --> 00:56:38,499
Plus, we can gab
about centerpieces
and bridesmaids' dresses.
957
00:56:38,563 --> 00:56:41,933
You had me at "free booze."
[ Laughs ]
958
00:56:41,999 --> 00:56:45,769
- I'll see you there,
Cleveland Ron.
- All right.
959
00:56:50,441 --> 00:56:54,381
Hey, Seth.
What's goin' on, man?
960
00:56:54,445 --> 00:56:57,475
[ Sighs ]
961
00:56:57,548 --> 00:57:00,788
Hey, any luck finding Tom?
Whoa!
962
00:57:02,352 --> 00:57:04,862
All right.
Um, you feeling okay, Seth?
963
00:57:04,922 --> 00:57:08,592
No. I am far from okay.
Okay?
964
00:57:08,659 --> 00:57:10,899
I needed my medication,
only Jason took it.
965
00:57:10,961 --> 00:57:14,031
So Hitler's granddaughter
gave me some of these aspirin.
966
00:57:14,098 --> 00:57:17,768
Only now everything
still hurts and I have this!
967
00:57:17,835 --> 00:57:20,135
Is it supposed to
curve like that, man?
968
00:57:20,204 --> 00:57:23,274
No!
Holy baby arm!
969
00:57:23,340 --> 00:57:27,480
- This is all your fault!
- Okay, how is that my fault?
970
00:57:27,545 --> 00:57:31,115
Because you took my codeine,
so I took a bunch
of your Viagra!
971
00:57:31,181 --> 00:57:35,821
Okay, that's not Viagra,
Captain Hook.
That's Equine XL.
972
00:57:35,886 --> 00:57:38,156
Wait a minute.
What's Equine XL?
973
00:57:38,222 --> 00:57:40,662
It's boner pills for horses.
I get it off this veterinary
Web site.
974
00:57:40,725 --> 00:57:42,385
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, it's awesome.
975
00:57:42,459 --> 00:57:44,359
[ Derek ]
I gotta get that site.
976
00:57:44,428 --> 00:57:47,398
They were in an aspirin bottle,
you degenerate asshole!
977
00:57:47,464 --> 00:57:51,944
- Well, excuse me for exercising
a little discretion.
- "Exercising discretion"?
978
00:57:52,002 --> 00:57:55,242
I can't think of two words
that have less
in common with you...
979
00:57:55,305 --> 00:57:57,735
than "exercise"
and "discretion"!
980
00:57:59,510 --> 00:58:01,950
Ouch. That hurt, Seth.
981
00:58:02,012 --> 00:58:05,652
I'm gonna give you
something to hurt about,
you motherfucker! Come on!
982
00:58:05,716 --> 00:58:07,476
[ Shouting ]
[ Screams ]
983
00:58:07,552 --> 00:58:11,292
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
All right, all right!
Seth, stop. Stop.
984
00:58:11,355 --> 00:58:15,225
[ All Shouting ]
985
00:58:15,292 --> 00:58:17,602
Wet noodle! Wet noodle.
986
00:58:17,662 --> 00:58:19,862
Sorry to interrupt...
whatever this is.
987
00:58:19,930 --> 00:58:23,670
The, uh, party starts
in about 10 minutes.
988
00:58:23,734 --> 00:58:27,244
So, you know,
if you just... finish up soon.
989
00:58:31,408 --> 00:58:35,978
All right, Seth, I think you
should, um-- you should go and,
990
00:58:36,046 --> 00:58:40,216
you know, take care
of your little... situation.
991
00:58:40,284 --> 00:58:43,394
Yeah? Oh, yeah?
[ Jason ]
Okay, I got it.
992
00:58:43,453 --> 00:58:46,093
We just, uh,
call a little call girl.
993
00:58:46,156 --> 00:58:48,356
No, no, no.
994
00:58:48,425 --> 00:58:51,525
I am not letting some diseased
hooker touch me
down there.
995
00:58:51,596 --> 00:58:55,026
[ Derek ]
We'll get a nice clean hooker
to touch you down there.
996
00:58:55,099 --> 00:58:58,869
[ Seth ]
Forget it, fellas.
All right? Just forget it.
997
00:59:03,574 --> 00:59:07,754
[ Jason ]
So, uh, are those capri pants?
998
00:59:07,812 --> 00:59:10,882
They're not capri pants.
Capri pants are for women.
999
00:59:10,948 --> 00:59:13,518
Oh. So they're
man-pri pants?
1000
00:59:13,584 --> 00:59:17,454
No. Look, they're
cropped slacks, okay?
1001
00:59:17,521 --> 00:59:20,191
They're huge
in Europe. Huge.
1002
00:59:20,257 --> 00:59:23,157
Yeah, George Michael's
huge in Europe too.
1003
00:59:25,029 --> 00:59:27,529
You ever thought of maybe
an ankle bracelet?
1004
00:59:27,598 --> 00:59:31,068
Is he gonna be down soon?
Yeah. He'll be down
in a minute.
1005
00:59:34,371 --> 00:59:37,611
[ Whirring ]
1006
00:59:43,948 --> 00:59:45,948
Be gentle.
1007
00:59:49,586 --> 00:59:52,786
[ Shudders, Laughs ]
1008
00:59:54,692 --> 00:59:57,392
[ Sighs ]
1009
00:59:57,461 --> 01:00:01,701
[ Moaning ]
1010
01:00:01,766 --> 01:00:04,596
- [ Gasps, Speaking Spanish ]
- [ Gasps ]
1011
01:00:04,669 --> 01:00:06,599
[ Squishing Sound ]
[ Machine Grinding ]
1012
01:00:06,671 --> 01:00:10,271
[ Screaming ]
1013
01:00:13,243 --> 01:00:16,253
[ Chattering ]
1014
01:00:16,313 --> 01:00:19,383
Here you go, ladies.
1015
01:00:19,449 --> 01:00:21,849
Thank you, Flora.
[ Chuckles ]
1016
01:00:21,919 --> 01:00:24,389
What are we doing here?
Not that I'm complaining,
1017
01:00:24,454 --> 01:00:26,824
but, you know, the odds
of being thrown up on...
1018
01:00:26,891 --> 01:00:29,391
by a hardened alcoholic
have dropped significantly.
1019
01:00:29,459 --> 01:00:31,599
Speaking of, where's Mom?
1020
01:00:31,662 --> 01:00:34,232
She's, uh, taking one
of her "naps."
1021
01:00:37,234 --> 01:00:41,974
[ Doorbell Rings ]
Ah. I wonder
who that could be.
1022
01:00:47,878 --> 01:00:50,978
What's going on?
I don't know.
1023
01:00:53,951 --> 01:00:57,621
Oh, no. It appears we have
some sort of water leak.
1024
01:00:57,688 --> 01:01:01,258
[ Chuckles ]
The plumber's here!
1025
01:01:15,005 --> 01:01:19,905
Excuse me, ladies. I understand
you're having some problems
with your plumbing.
1026
01:01:21,712 --> 01:01:24,952
** [ Dance Rock ]
1027
01:01:43,633 --> 01:01:46,203
[ Grunting ]
1028
01:01:46,270 --> 01:01:51,180
- Okay.
- I may have to pull out
my special tool for this job.
1029
01:01:53,377 --> 01:01:57,747
Don't you worry.
I'm accustomed to working
with a lot of pipe.
1030
01:02:00,084 --> 01:02:03,754
Oh, my God!
Are those Jimmy Choo's?
1031
01:02:06,323 --> 01:02:09,363
** [ Continues ]
1032
01:02:11,796 --> 01:02:16,426
[ Gasps ]
Flora!
1033
01:02:16,500 --> 01:02:18,740
[ All ]
Go, plumber! Go, plumber!
Go, plumber!
1034
01:02:18,803 --> 01:02:22,073
Go, go! Go, plumber!
Go, plumber! Go, plumber!
1035
01:02:22,139 --> 01:02:25,179
Go, go!
Go, plumber! Go, plumber!
1036
01:02:25,242 --> 01:02:27,812
Go, go!
Go, plumber! Go, plumber!
1037
01:02:27,878 --> 01:02:30,848
- Go, plumber! Go, plumber!
- ** [ Stops ]
1038
01:02:30,915 --> 01:02:32,875
Go, go! Go, plumber!
1039
01:02:35,285 --> 01:02:37,685
What in fuck's name
is going on?
1040
01:02:37,754 --> 01:02:41,434
And where did Tommy Tune
here come from?
1041
01:02:41,491 --> 01:02:45,001
Mother! It's Mel's
bachelorette party.
This is the stripper.
1042
01:02:45,062 --> 01:02:47,232
[ Effeminately ]
Hi. Love your house.
1043
01:02:47,297 --> 01:02:49,567
Thanks, Sally.
1044
01:02:49,633 --> 01:02:52,903
[ Scoffs ]
Jesus, Autumn!
1045
01:02:52,970 --> 01:02:56,710
This guy likes cock more
than anyone else in this room.
1046
01:02:56,773 --> 01:03:00,013
- Excuse me, Mother,
but we were in the middle--
- But nothing.
1047
01:03:00,077 --> 01:03:03,377
No daughter of mine is going
to have a one-man rendition...
1048
01:03:03,447 --> 01:03:06,477
of a Chorus Line
for her bachelorette party.
1049
01:03:06,550 --> 01:03:09,850
Oh, really? Well, what do you
wanna do that's so great?
1050
01:03:12,089 --> 01:03:16,329
- We'll go to my book club.
- [ Chuckles ]
1051
01:03:16,393 --> 01:03:20,063
[ People Chattering ]
** [ Dance ]
1052
01:03:24,234 --> 01:03:27,574
Oh, I'll take that.
Definitely don't need that.
1053
01:03:34,011 --> 01:03:36,381
Oh.
Thanks.
1054
01:03:36,446 --> 01:03:38,616
You got it?
Yeah.
1055
01:03:38,682 --> 01:03:41,992
All right.
Gentlemen, to a night
we will never forget.
1056
01:03:42,052 --> 01:03:44,252
Cheers.
Hear! Hear!
1057
01:03:46,290 --> 01:03:48,190
Oh.
1058
01:03:49,426 --> 01:03:51,396
See ya later, guys.
1059
01:03:53,097 --> 01:03:56,767
Whoa. Whoa.
Feeling a little woozy.
You all right?
1060
01:03:56,833 --> 01:03:59,843
I think this erection's
draining the blood
from my brain.
1061
01:03:59,904 --> 01:04:02,344
I'm disgusting.
1062
01:04:02,406 --> 01:04:05,676
Okay, okay.
Fair-weather friends, Ron.
Those are fair-weather friends.
1063
01:04:05,742 --> 01:04:09,352
I am not gonna let
a little pissin' and moanin'
ruin your bachelor party.
1064
01:04:09,413 --> 01:04:11,923
All right, brother?
Yeah!
All right.
1065
01:04:11,982 --> 01:04:15,952
Hang on a second.
And off he goes.
1066
01:04:16,020 --> 01:04:18,860
Oh. Well, thank you.
1067
01:04:18,923 --> 01:04:22,233
Really? Does that come
with a side of Tampax?
1068
01:04:22,292 --> 01:04:26,902
Not tonight.
Tonight we roll V.I.P.
1069
01:04:26,964 --> 01:04:31,274
[ Chattering ]
1070
01:04:33,737 --> 01:04:39,307
If you don't already have
someone performing your wedding,
I'm also a licensed minister.
1071
01:04:39,376 --> 01:04:42,506
Uh, that would be
just lovely.
1072
01:04:42,579 --> 01:04:45,649
** [ Dance ]
1073
01:04:47,684 --> 01:04:50,894
[ Chattering, Laughter ]
1074
01:04:58,728 --> 01:05:01,628
This is your book club?
1075
01:05:04,701 --> 01:05:07,441
Come on! Go home!
1076
01:05:07,504 --> 01:05:09,844
Nobody likes you.
1077
01:05:09,906 --> 01:05:12,606
For the love of God,
take a rest!
1078
01:05:12,676 --> 01:05:15,646
[ Jacuzzi Jets Whirring ]
1079
01:05:24,154 --> 01:05:27,764
So, you guys offer
limo service, right?
1080
01:05:27,824 --> 01:05:29,694
The presidential suite.
1081
01:05:29,759 --> 01:05:35,269
Now, bachelorette,
I'll bet you're hungry,
my dear.
1082
01:05:35,332 --> 01:05:38,972
Would you care
for a scone?
1083
01:05:39,036 --> 01:05:40,936
Hi.
[ Sighs ]
1084
01:05:41,005 --> 01:05:43,765
Grandma Rose?
1085
01:05:43,840 --> 01:05:46,080
[ Gags ]
1086
01:05:47,644 --> 01:05:50,314
Well, hello, Melinda dear!
1087
01:05:50,380 --> 01:05:56,320
The Japanese have surrendered!
The war is over!
1088
01:05:56,386 --> 01:05:58,216
Great-Grandma?
1089
01:05:58,288 --> 01:06:00,418
Would you look at us?
1090
01:06:00,490 --> 01:06:03,930
Four generations together
at book club.
1091
01:06:03,994 --> 01:06:06,134
I need a refill.
1092
01:06:06,196 --> 01:06:09,166
** [ Dance ]
1093
01:06:12,636 --> 01:06:17,336
Come on, baby.
Daddy needs a rest.
[ Sighs ]
1094
01:06:17,407 --> 01:06:22,247
- Hey, fellas, look, a hot tub!
- No, it's--
1095
01:06:22,312 --> 01:06:24,812
It's closed for maintenance.
I'm cleaning it.
1096
01:06:24,881 --> 01:06:27,521
Looks like
a clothing optional tub too.
1097
01:06:27,584 --> 01:06:31,024
- [ Jets Sucking ]
- [ Groans ]
I'm stuck!
1098
01:06:32,722 --> 01:06:35,462
- Excuse me.
- Oh, God!
1099
01:06:35,525 --> 01:06:38,195
Looks nice.
1100
01:06:38,262 --> 01:06:42,372
- [ Gasps ]
- [ Men Chattering ]
1101
01:06:54,711 --> 01:06:57,081
Well, well, I thought
you hadn't made it.
1102
01:06:57,147 --> 01:06:59,277
Sorry, I was
just freshening up.
1103
01:06:59,349 --> 01:07:02,449
Oh. You freshen up nice.
1104
01:07:05,322 --> 01:07:09,262
Half now, half after.
1105
01:07:09,326 --> 01:07:12,456
And when you're done,
you come party with a real man.
1106
01:07:12,529 --> 01:07:15,099
Sounds great.
1107
01:07:15,165 --> 01:07:17,425
Go get him.
[ Pats Bottom ]
1108
01:07:20,637 --> 01:07:25,337
** [ Hip-hop ]
Get it ready! It's time for
the hot body dance contest!
1109
01:07:25,409 --> 01:07:29,209
Now, whoever shakes her thing
for the crowd and gets
the most applause wins $500!
1110
01:07:29,279 --> 01:07:31,979
Are you with me?
[ Cheering ]
1111
01:07:32,048 --> 01:07:35,448
Yeah!
First up is sexy Kirstie.
1112
01:07:35,519 --> 01:07:38,689
** [ Dance Rock ]
[ Crowd Cheering ]
1113
01:07:43,593 --> 01:07:47,303
Hey, 500 bucks just
for shaking your tits?
1114
01:07:47,364 --> 01:07:50,334
You should get in
on that, man.
You got lovely tits.
1115
01:07:50,400 --> 01:07:52,670
What are they,
a full "B" cup?
1116
01:07:52,736 --> 01:07:57,266
Don't you have, like,
a lost child and future
ex-wife to find?
1117
01:07:57,341 --> 01:08:02,081
You know what?
That cut.
That cut real deep.
1118
01:08:02,146 --> 01:08:05,176
Is it gay that we're
in this hammock together?
1119
01:08:05,249 --> 01:08:08,079
** [ Continues ]
[ Cheering Continues ]
1120
01:08:11,421 --> 01:08:14,821
Looks like her years
of tap lessons paid off.
Hey.
1121
01:08:14,891 --> 01:08:20,901
Wow. Uh, this is new.
Okay. You look amazing.
1122
01:08:20,964 --> 01:08:23,934
I'm-- Are you on next
or something?
1123
01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:26,570
I got disqualified. 'Roids.
1124
01:08:26,636 --> 01:08:30,006
Ah, yes. See, I suspected
you might be a juicer.
1125
01:08:30,073 --> 01:08:32,683
Mojito?
You speak my language.
1126
01:08:32,742 --> 01:08:35,552
Shall we?
Ah, yes.
1127
01:08:35,612 --> 01:08:38,222
Excuse me, ladies.
May I interest you
in a cocktail?
1128
01:08:38,282 --> 01:08:43,152
Oh, yes. I slept with
a colored man once.
1129
01:08:43,220 --> 01:08:46,690
- Shh!
- He was the milkman.
1130
01:08:46,756 --> 01:08:51,556
Oh, he was so big,
and black as night.
1131
01:08:51,628 --> 01:08:56,428
- Okay, Mother. Okay.
- He sure delivered
the milk that day!
1132
01:08:56,500 --> 01:09:00,340
Okay, uh, if you'll
all excuse me.
1133
01:09:00,404 --> 01:09:03,614
I'm gonna go--
I'm gonna check in with Ron.
1134
01:09:06,476 --> 01:09:09,206
Mmm!
1135
01:09:09,279 --> 01:09:12,419
[ Cell Phone Rings ]
1136
01:09:13,783 --> 01:09:18,623
Ooh, Todd. Looks like Ron
forgot his phone.
1137
01:09:18,688 --> 01:09:22,458
Oooh, score.
All right, ladies.
Get lost. Go.
1138
01:09:22,526 --> 01:09:24,356
[ Girl ]
Okay. See ya.
1139
01:09:24,428 --> 01:09:28,528
[ Rings ]
Ron's phone.
1140
01:09:28,598 --> 01:09:31,238
Hey. Todd?
1141
01:09:31,301 --> 01:09:34,041
Oh, hi, Mel.
You know what?
1142
01:09:34,103 --> 01:09:38,283
I would get Ron,
but he's a little, uh,
indisposed at the moment.
1143
01:09:38,342 --> 01:09:42,982
Is he throwing up? He's--
He's kind of a lightweight.
Not exactly.
1144
01:09:43,046 --> 01:09:46,446
Mel, are you sure you want
to invite this guy
into our family?
1145
01:09:46,516 --> 01:09:48,716
What?
1146
01:09:48,785 --> 01:09:51,485
Listen, Ron has been
sleeping with everything
in a skirt out here.
1147
01:09:51,555 --> 01:09:55,525
Do you guys have some kind
of arrangement or something?
Hello?
1148
01:09:57,427 --> 01:10:00,097
Mel?
[ Dial Tone Humming ]
1149
01:10:00,163 --> 01:10:03,303
Next stop, corner office!
More shots!
1150
01:10:03,367 --> 01:10:05,637
- Ooh!
- Shots!
1151
01:10:07,170 --> 01:10:10,540
It doesn't seem
like Ron at all.
1152
01:10:10,607 --> 01:10:14,277
It's better
you found out now.
1153
01:10:14,344 --> 01:10:18,824
Next time he falls asleep,
cut one of his balls off.
That'll teach him.
1154
01:10:18,882 --> 01:10:21,292
Not now, Mother!
1155
01:10:21,351 --> 01:10:26,191
I have to see him. Tonight.
[ Autumn ] You want to go
to Miami tonight?
1156
01:10:26,256 --> 01:10:30,426
I'll call your father.
We can take the jet.
1157
01:10:33,797 --> 01:10:36,667
** [ Dance Rock ]
[ Cheering ]
1158
01:10:40,904 --> 01:10:45,714
Ooh-hoo. All right, guys,
give it up one more time
for Candy!
1159
01:10:48,945 --> 01:10:51,445
All right. Last but
certainly not least,
1160
01:10:51,515 --> 01:10:55,345
we have the beautiful...
Jason?
1161
01:11:00,189 --> 01:11:03,829
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, God.
1162
01:11:05,929 --> 01:11:09,869
- [ Exhales ]
- ** [ Dance Rock ]
1163
01:11:11,368 --> 01:11:13,668
[ Man ]
Get off the stage, loser!
1164
01:11:25,382 --> 01:11:27,422
Yeah!
Whoo!
1165
01:11:27,484 --> 01:11:29,924
[ All Cheering ]
1166
01:11:52,376 --> 01:11:54,576
** [ Stops ]
1167
01:12:00,650 --> 01:12:02,790
Yeah!
Whoo! Yeah!
1168
01:12:04,721 --> 01:12:06,591
[ Emcee ]
All right, guys.
This is crazy.
1169
01:12:06,656 --> 01:12:11,126
For the first time in
club history we have a tie...
1170
01:12:11,194 --> 01:12:14,134
between Candy...
[ Cheering ]
1171
01:12:14,197 --> 01:12:18,067
and Jason!
[ Loud Cheering ]
1172
01:12:20,437 --> 01:12:24,937
Now, right here,
that can only mean one thing.
I'm talking about a dance off!
1173
01:12:25,008 --> 01:12:28,038
[ Loud Cheering ]
1174
01:12:28,111 --> 01:12:32,221
You're going down, fatty.
Oh, bring it on, sugar tits.
1175
01:12:32,281 --> 01:12:34,051
First up, Candy!
1176
01:12:34,117 --> 01:12:35,917
** [ Dance ]
1177
01:12:42,125 --> 01:12:44,785
** [ Latin ]
1178
01:13:05,915 --> 01:13:08,215
[ Loud Cheering ]
1179
01:13:08,284 --> 01:13:12,024
** [ Dance ]
1180
01:13:38,381 --> 01:13:40,451
Don't get mad, girl.
1181
01:14:10,914 --> 01:14:12,524
[ Gasps ]
1182
01:14:12,582 --> 01:14:15,082
Oh, that is not nice.
1183
01:14:18,722 --> 01:14:21,992
Oh, man, you can't beat that.
You can't beat that.
1184
01:14:27,797 --> 01:14:33,397
[ Chanting ]
Jason! Jason! Jason!
1185
01:14:33,469 --> 01:14:37,439
[ Crowd Chanting Along ]
Jason! Jason! Jason!
1186
01:14:37,507 --> 01:14:41,607
Jason! Jason! Jason!
1187
01:14:41,678 --> 01:14:45,778
Jason! Jason! Jason!
1188
01:14:45,849 --> 01:14:49,989
Jason! Jason! Jason!
Jason! Jason!
1189
01:14:50,053 --> 01:14:52,563
Jason! Jason! Jason!
1190
01:14:52,622 --> 01:14:55,562
- [ Cheering Stops ]
- [ Gasps ]
1191
01:14:56,626 --> 01:14:58,996
- Yeah!
- [ All Cheering ]
1192
01:15:02,832 --> 01:15:04,872
Yeah!
1193
01:15:04,934 --> 01:15:08,844
We have a winner!
Big Jason!
[ Laughs ]
1194
01:15:16,312 --> 01:15:19,722
I do not know
where they are.
1195
01:15:19,783 --> 01:15:24,693
Maybe they took a few groupies
back to the hotel or something.
[ Laughs ]
1196
01:15:27,691 --> 01:15:30,991
[ Shivers ]
Is it me or is it freezing?
1197
01:15:32,629 --> 01:15:35,429
Um, we can go.
You-- You wanna go?
1198
01:15:35,498 --> 01:15:38,668
Yeah, let's go.
All right.
1199
01:15:49,078 --> 01:15:53,018
Hey, hey.
Ron just left with Eva.
Perfect.
1200
01:15:53,082 --> 01:15:56,352
Just to be sure,
get every hot piece of ass
here back to the suite.
1201
01:15:56,419 --> 01:15:59,389
Okay. Hey,
what should I tell them?
1202
01:15:59,455 --> 01:16:03,055
I don't give a shit.
Get it done or you're gonna be
walking back to Cleveland.
1203
01:16:03,126 --> 01:16:05,286
All right?
Okay.
1204
01:16:05,361 --> 01:16:09,701
Yeah. Thanks, bro.
Man, I've always wanted
one of these.
1205
01:16:09,766 --> 01:16:12,966
[ Seth ]
Guys! Guys!
1206
01:16:13,036 --> 01:16:15,906
Come here. Oh, thank God.
Thank God!
1207
01:16:15,972 --> 01:16:19,882
You have no idea what I've been
through. Help me get me out
of this chlamydia stew!
1208
01:16:19,943 --> 01:16:22,583
[ Both Groan ]
Come on, man!
1209
01:16:22,646 --> 01:16:27,146
I swear to God, if I see
any more man junk on this trip,
I'm gonna gouge my eyes out.
1210
01:16:27,216 --> 01:16:30,986
Who's the degenerate now?
Okay? Get a girlfriend.
1211
01:16:31,054 --> 01:16:33,494
Are you serious?
Get a watermelon.
1212
01:16:33,556 --> 01:16:36,686
Are you serious?
Hey, come on!
1213
01:16:36,760 --> 01:16:39,930
I-- I think I lost a ball!
[ Groans ]
1214
01:16:39,996 --> 01:16:42,426
[ Man ]
Hey, fellas, look,
a hot tub.
1215
01:16:42,498 --> 01:16:45,568
[ Neck Muscles Cracking ]
[ Screams ]
1216
01:16:45,635 --> 01:16:50,335
[ Derek Over Phone ]
I'm worried about you,
and I love you. Okay?
1217
01:16:50,406 --> 01:16:53,376
Okay, good-bye.
1218
01:16:53,442 --> 01:16:55,912
That was weird.
What?
1219
01:16:55,979 --> 01:16:58,249
My dad. We had
a fight today...
1220
01:16:58,314 --> 01:17:02,194
and he actually apologized,
which is a first.
1221
01:17:02,251 --> 01:17:06,691
Hey, driver, are there
any karaoke bars around here?
1222
01:17:06,756 --> 01:17:09,956
[ Girls Chattering
Excitedly ]
1223
01:17:13,930 --> 01:17:19,900
Get down here! This guy
just invited us to Justin
Timberlake's hotel room!
1224
01:17:19,969 --> 01:17:25,209
Congratulations to Jeff
for earning his one-year chip!
1225
01:17:33,182 --> 01:17:38,652
And next up, we have Betty who
has earned her six-month chip.
1226
01:17:38,722 --> 01:17:40,992
Come on up here, Betty!
1227
01:17:42,258 --> 01:17:45,558
[ Laughing ]
1228
01:17:45,628 --> 01:17:48,628
Excuse me. Is this
the Timberlake orgy?
1229
01:17:48,698 --> 01:17:52,938
- Um, no, afraid not.
- Sorry.
1230
01:17:57,206 --> 01:18:00,006
Betty? Where are you?
Betty? Wait!
1231
01:18:00,076 --> 01:18:05,206
No, don't go! You must avoid
your lust triggers!
1232
01:18:05,281 --> 01:18:07,421
[ Girls Screaming ]
1233
01:18:12,588 --> 01:18:14,858
[ Mutters ]
1234
01:18:17,560 --> 01:18:19,400
[ Shouting Continues ]
Justin!
1235
01:18:31,808 --> 01:18:35,308
[ Laughs ]
Wow. You look tense.
1236
01:18:35,378 --> 01:18:39,978
Uh, yeah, yeah.
It's been a tense weekend.
Let me ask you something.
1237
01:18:40,049 --> 01:18:44,919
Is a bachelor party
the last chance for someone
to convince the bachelor...
1238
01:18:44,988 --> 01:18:47,288
that they're making
a huge mistake?
Is that it?
1239
01:18:47,356 --> 01:18:49,186
I don't know.
Are you?
1240
01:18:49,258 --> 01:18:52,028
What? Making a mistake?
Yeah.
1241
01:18:52,095 --> 01:18:54,725
I don't know.
I-- I don't think so.
1242
01:18:54,798 --> 01:18:59,268
You don't think so?
Well, if that's not true love,
I don't know what is.
1243
01:18:59,335 --> 01:19:03,165
[ Chuckles ]
Okay, well, in
your infinite wisdom,
1244
01:19:03,239 --> 01:19:07,779
maybe you can tell me
how do you know that
your fiancé is the one?
1245
01:19:07,844 --> 01:19:10,314
I never said he was.
1246
01:19:12,681 --> 01:19:14,651
Well, why did you say "yes"?
1247
01:19:14,717 --> 01:19:17,847
'Cause he asked, I guess.
1248
01:19:17,921 --> 01:19:20,991
Look, I'm not the one
with the wedding date.
1249
01:19:21,057 --> 01:19:24,457
Life is short
and I want to be sure.
1250
01:19:30,066 --> 01:19:33,966
** [ Dance Rock ]
[ All Shouting ]
1251
01:19:35,805 --> 01:19:39,075
[ Chattering ]
1252
01:19:41,911 --> 01:19:43,951
- I love Miami.
- Sonny.
1253
01:19:44,013 --> 01:19:46,823
Oh. Hey, Betty.
1254
01:19:46,883 --> 01:19:49,323
So, I've got a few friends
that are in need
of your expertise.
1255
01:19:49,385 --> 01:19:53,485
- Oh. Well, okay.
- All right. Come on, girls.
1256
01:19:53,556 --> 01:19:56,686
Oh. Uh-- Oh.
1257
01:19:56,759 --> 01:20:01,199
I don't know, Betty.
I mean, my penis
is really tired.
1258
01:20:01,264 --> 01:20:04,774
[ Girls Groan ]
Your cock can sleep
when it's dead.
1259
01:20:04,834 --> 01:20:07,004
Okay?
Yeah, yeah. Yeah!
1260
01:20:07,070 --> 01:20:10,040
- Okay. Yeah, let's do this!
- Oh, good!
1261
01:20:10,106 --> 01:20:14,136
Okay, first bedroom
on the right.
[ Growling ]
1262
01:20:14,210 --> 01:20:18,610
Yeah, I can't wait.
Tall. Blonde.
You're getting it.
1263
01:20:18,681 --> 01:20:22,851
Here you go.
I'm outta here.
Witness the sickness!
1264
01:20:22,919 --> 01:20:26,089
Hey. Go get some
hair plugs.
1265
01:20:33,062 --> 01:20:35,262
Come on. Where's Ron?
1266
01:20:35,331 --> 01:20:37,801
[ Groans ]
1267
01:20:37,867 --> 01:20:40,537
My God!
1268
01:20:40,603 --> 01:20:44,443
- I know they're sex addicts,
but come on!
- [ Betty Growls ]
1269
01:20:46,409 --> 01:20:49,449
[ Derek ]
You guys seen a kid, huh?
Anybody, you seen a kid?
1270
01:20:49,512 --> 01:20:52,622
You seen a kid?
1271
01:20:53,883 --> 01:20:55,783
Hey, Seth.
Hey.
1272
01:20:55,851 --> 01:20:59,391
How'd you get out
of the hot tub, man?
I don't want to talk about it.
1273
01:20:59,455 --> 01:21:02,085
Sebastian and Meat,
this is Derek.
1274
01:21:02,158 --> 01:21:06,098
Derek, Sebastian, Meat.
1275
01:21:06,162 --> 01:21:08,132
Have you seen, uh--
seen Tommy anywhere?
1276
01:21:08,197 --> 01:21:10,627
- No, sorry.
- Meat?
1277
01:21:12,101 --> 01:21:16,441
All right.
Let me know, man. Tommy?
1278
01:21:16,505 --> 01:21:21,575
Well, I'm gonna take
the longest shower
in recorded history.
1279
01:21:21,644 --> 01:21:24,014
Make yourselves at home.
1280
01:21:29,652 --> 01:21:32,892
** [ Hip-hop ]
1281
01:21:40,529 --> 01:21:42,629
Tommy!
1282
01:21:44,100 --> 01:21:46,800
Tommy.
Where have you been?
1283
01:21:46,869 --> 01:21:51,469
I've been so worried
about you.
What are you wearing?
1284
01:21:51,540 --> 01:21:56,310
Who's your friend?
Dad, this is Sonia
Hernandez Murphy.
1285
01:21:56,379 --> 01:22:01,149
Murphy. Okay, okay.
Yeah, same last name.
Small world.
1286
01:22:01,217 --> 01:22:06,287
Dad, this is the woman
you married last night.
1287
01:22:06,355 --> 01:22:09,185
Oh, my God!
I'm so sorry.
1288
01:22:09,258 --> 01:22:12,228
I didn't recognize you.
You see, last night--
1289
01:22:12,295 --> 01:22:14,525
You were hammered.
[ Exhales ]
1290
01:22:14,597 --> 01:22:16,867
It's so good to see you!
1291
01:22:16,932 --> 01:22:19,042
[ Gasps ]
Okay, okay.
1292
01:22:19,102 --> 01:22:23,812
Yeah. Uh, Tommy,
can I see you for a sec?
1293
01:22:23,872 --> 01:22:25,842
Excuse me, Sonia.
1294
01:22:25,908 --> 01:22:28,438
How did you find her?
1295
01:22:28,511 --> 01:22:30,981
I checked out
a couple karaoke bars.
1296
01:22:31,047 --> 01:22:34,047
What? Karaoke bars?
1297
01:22:34,117 --> 01:22:37,717
Dad, you love karaoke.
Mom loves karaoke.
1298
01:22:37,786 --> 01:22:41,916
So do your other ex-wives.
So why would number four
be any different?
1299
01:22:41,991 --> 01:22:44,691
Now listen.
She's an aerobics instructor,
1300
01:22:44,760 --> 01:22:49,870
loves merlot, hates smoking,
and her family owns
the Miami Dolphins.
1301
01:22:49,932 --> 01:22:53,242
Holy shit. Really?
Yeah, she's loaded.
1302
01:22:53,302 --> 01:22:56,412
So don't blow this.
Now go talk to your wife.
1303
01:23:00,276 --> 01:23:03,206
Sonia!
[ Chuckles ]
[ Giggles ]
1304
01:23:17,460 --> 01:23:20,860
[ Exhales ]
It's so clean and organized.
1305
01:23:20,929 --> 01:23:22,729
It's so German.
1306
01:23:27,970 --> 01:23:30,170
Whoa.
1307
01:23:33,842 --> 01:23:37,712
Oh, my God.
1308
01:23:37,780 --> 01:23:40,550
Seth!
1309
01:23:40,616 --> 01:23:43,846
- [ Gasps ]
Oh, hey.
- [ Vibrating ]
1310
01:23:43,919 --> 01:23:47,159
Gerda. Hi.
I was... just gonna
borrow some Purell.
1311
01:23:48,591 --> 01:23:52,201
No, it's not-- it's not
what it looks like. I was--
1312
01:23:52,261 --> 01:23:54,761
Oh, Seth!
No!
1313
01:23:54,830 --> 01:23:58,830
Oh, Seth, yes!
Okay.
1314
01:23:58,901 --> 01:24:03,111
Well, I-I--
I've never been married,
1315
01:24:03,172 --> 01:24:07,782
so I don't have
a lot of experience
with this subject matter.
1316
01:24:07,843 --> 01:24:11,953
But with Mel...
1317
01:24:12,014 --> 01:24:14,654
things just feel right.
1318
01:24:16,185 --> 01:24:19,115
Hmm. Well,
1319
01:24:21,790 --> 01:24:24,390
what about this?
1320
01:24:24,460 --> 01:24:29,800
Does this feel right?
Uh-- I, um-- I, uh--
Who needs a drink?
1321
01:24:29,865 --> 01:24:32,235
Yes, let's have a toast.
1322
01:24:32,301 --> 01:24:34,541
Oh, yeah.
To life being short.
1323
01:24:36,939 --> 01:24:38,709
Um--
1324
01:24:56,592 --> 01:25:00,232
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
We-- We can't--
We can't do this.
1325
01:25:00,296 --> 01:25:02,666
I know that what
I'm doing is right.
1326
01:25:02,731 --> 01:25:06,441
And Mel is the one for me.
I'm sure of that.
1327
01:25:07,936 --> 01:25:11,166
And I know that your fiancé...
1328
01:25:11,240 --> 01:25:13,740
is an incredibly lucky man...
1329
01:25:13,809 --> 01:25:18,109
to be marrying an amazing
woman like-- like you.
1330
01:25:18,181 --> 01:25:22,551
I'm sorry.
Don't. Please,
don't apologize.
1331
01:25:22,618 --> 01:25:27,558
Yes, I-I should because
I'm-- I'm not getting married.
1332
01:25:27,623 --> 01:25:30,363
And I'm far
from an amazing woman.
1333
01:25:30,426 --> 01:25:34,256
But you're a really good guy,
1334
01:25:34,330 --> 01:25:37,400
unlike your buddy Todd.
1335
01:25:40,303 --> 01:25:42,773
[ Chuckles ]
What?
1336
01:25:51,714 --> 01:25:54,854
[ Screaming ]
1337
01:25:58,120 --> 01:26:01,060
Jesus!
1338
01:26:01,123 --> 01:26:03,163
[ Gasps ]
1339
01:26:03,226 --> 01:26:07,326
** [ Dance Rock ]
1340
01:26:07,396 --> 01:26:10,426
- Oh, Seth! Seth!
- I'm going to hell!
1341
01:26:10,499 --> 01:26:14,499
I'm going to hell,
but it's okay.
I'm sorry, Grandma!
1342
01:26:14,570 --> 01:26:16,670
I'm so sorry!
[ German ]
1343
01:26:16,739 --> 01:26:20,639
Oh, God!
[ Shouting ]
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
1344
01:26:26,649 --> 01:26:29,419
What are you doing here?
Where's Ron?
1345
01:26:29,485 --> 01:26:34,285
Sleeping it off
on the beach.
Mission accomplished.
1346
01:26:34,357 --> 01:26:36,627
Really? Well, I need proof.
1347
01:26:38,160 --> 01:26:40,430
Oh, I've got it.
Pictures galore.
1348
01:26:40,496 --> 01:26:43,966
Excellent. Let's see.
1349
01:26:44,032 --> 01:26:46,572
We could do that now, or...
1350
01:26:46,635 --> 01:26:49,735
you and I could
celebrate.
1351
01:26:49,805 --> 01:26:52,675
Billy.
1352
01:26:52,741 --> 01:26:54,641
Leave now.
1353
01:26:56,044 --> 01:26:58,284
[ Door Opens ]
1354
01:26:58,347 --> 01:26:59,977
[ Door Closes ]
Dut, dut, dut, dut, dut.
1355
01:27:00,048 --> 01:27:02,318
By the way,
1356
01:27:02,385 --> 01:27:04,545
[ Vibrating ]
I like to get wild.
1357
01:27:09,525 --> 01:27:12,655
You like to get wild,
don't you, Todd?
1358
01:27:12,728 --> 01:27:14,798
Oh.
1359
01:27:14,863 --> 01:27:16,903
** [ Hip-hop ]
1360
01:27:16,965 --> 01:27:19,065
Hey, fellas.
1361
01:27:19,134 --> 01:27:23,474
[ Crowd Chanting ]
Drink! Drink! Drink!
Drink! Drink! Drink!
1362
01:27:23,539 --> 01:27:27,009
Drink! Drink! Drink!
Drink! Drink! Drink!
1363
01:27:27,075 --> 01:27:30,945
[ Cheering ]
[ Boy ]
Mazel tov!
1364
01:27:38,787 --> 01:27:40,787
[ Chattering ]
1365
01:27:44,226 --> 01:27:46,156
Where is she going?
1366
01:27:46,228 --> 01:27:49,768
She went home. I told her
I'd see her tomorrow
at the annulment.
1367
01:27:49,832 --> 01:27:52,232
You're not gonna stay
with her? She's perfect!
1368
01:27:52,301 --> 01:27:54,341
I know that, buddy,
but I told her...
1369
01:27:54,403 --> 01:27:58,943
I've got a couple
of few very important
things back in Cleveland.
1370
01:27:59,007 --> 01:28:02,037
That was stupid.
She's rich!
1371
01:28:02,110 --> 01:28:06,250
You gotta relax, okay?
We're still dating. We're gonna
do the long-distance thing.
1372
01:28:06,315 --> 01:28:10,685
I'm not that stupid. Right?
Hang on a sec.
1373
01:28:10,753 --> 01:28:12,463
[ Betty ]
See, he was wonderful.
1374
01:28:12,521 --> 01:28:14,621
Excuse me, ladies.
1375
01:28:14,690 --> 01:28:17,730
Hi. I, uh--
I hate to ask this,
1376
01:28:17,793 --> 01:28:21,263
but what exactly is
Jason's--
1377
01:28:21,330 --> 01:28:24,730
Uh, Sonny's secret?
1378
01:28:24,800 --> 01:28:27,240
I don't know what
to tell you, Rico.
It's a God-given talent.
1379
01:28:27,302 --> 01:28:30,212
He's like Mother Teresa.
Wait a minute.
1380
01:28:30,272 --> 01:28:33,542
He's like Mother Teresa
in the sack?
1381
01:28:33,609 --> 01:28:36,549
Yeah, he is. I just wish
he was staying longer.
1382
01:28:36,612 --> 01:28:39,822
There are so many more of us
that need to be cured.
1383
01:28:39,882 --> 01:28:42,852
Cured? The only thing
that guy could cure
is a ham!
1384
01:28:42,918 --> 01:28:46,218
I've been a sex addict
all my life.
I have tried everything.
1385
01:28:46,288 --> 01:28:51,128
Even electroshock therapy.
Nothing worked...
until I slept with Sonny.
1386
01:28:51,193 --> 01:28:55,833
It was so--
[ Gags ]
foul.
1387
01:28:55,898 --> 01:29:00,568
I don't think
I'll ever have sex again!
He's an angel.
1388
01:29:00,636 --> 01:29:04,306
[ Chuckles ]
Hey, he is an angel.
1389
01:29:04,373 --> 01:29:06,583
Well, thanks, ladies.
Yeah, sure.
1390
01:29:09,978 --> 01:29:11,948
He's an angel.
1391
01:29:12,014 --> 01:29:14,524
[ Laughing ]
1392
01:29:15,684 --> 01:29:18,994
Whoo! I am wiped out.
1393
01:29:19,054 --> 01:29:21,994
Man, those chicks
were passing me around like
the Stanley Cup in there.
1394
01:29:22,057 --> 01:29:26,187
I bet they were, you pathetic--
Sonny Crockett,
you're the man.
1395
01:29:26,261 --> 01:29:31,131
Ah, I do my best. Now, I gotta
find a little beverage,
replenish my fluids.
1396
01:29:31,199 --> 01:29:33,269
[ Laughing ]
Yeah.
1397
01:29:33,335 --> 01:29:36,565
I was gonna rip him
a new one.
1398
01:29:36,639 --> 01:29:40,439
Sometimes you gotta
let your buddies have their
little moment in the sun, okay?
1399
01:29:40,509 --> 01:29:43,349
And besides, we're gonna be
able to hang this
over him forever.
1400
01:29:43,412 --> 01:29:45,512
Oh, yeah.
1401
01:29:45,581 --> 01:29:50,391
Ooh. Mmm, all right.
Come on. Let's do this.
1402
01:29:50,453 --> 01:29:53,463
One more thing.
What?
1403
01:30:00,395 --> 01:30:02,725
What-- What are you doing?
1404
01:30:02,798 --> 01:30:07,268
Well, you know, Todd,
I thought a lot
about what you said,
1405
01:30:07,335 --> 01:30:09,905
and you were right.
1406
01:30:09,972 --> 01:30:15,242
- I do want a threesome.
- [ Gasps ]
I meant two girls, okay?
1407
01:30:15,310 --> 01:30:17,510
Two girls! Okay?
1408
01:30:19,347 --> 01:30:21,647
Come on, buddy.
1409
01:30:21,717 --> 01:30:25,417
Don't you wanna go
balls to the wall?
1410
01:30:27,656 --> 01:30:29,956
No, I-I-- I don't.
1411
01:30:30,025 --> 01:30:33,095
** [ Continues ]
[ Chattering ]
1412
01:30:34,630 --> 01:30:37,870
Guess what everybody.
I'm free from my penis!
1413
01:30:37,933 --> 01:30:40,173
** [ Stops ]
[ Cheering ]
1414
01:30:40,235 --> 01:30:43,905
** [ Resumes ]
1415
01:30:43,972 --> 01:30:47,382
I'm totally flaccid.
It's great!
1416
01:30:47,442 --> 01:30:49,852
What, did your horse
stiffy juice run out?
1417
01:30:49,912 --> 01:30:52,622
Not exactly.
1418
01:30:55,584 --> 01:30:58,154
What are you gonna
do with that?
1419
01:30:58,220 --> 01:31:01,820
- Oh.
- Seth.
[ German ]
1420
01:31:01,890 --> 01:31:05,590
- Rar, rar, rar, rar.
- You slept with the Nazi?
1421
01:31:05,661 --> 01:31:10,331
She's a total neat freak, man,
just like me. It's like
we were destined to meet.
1422
01:31:10,398 --> 01:31:15,638
- Seth, you're a Jew.
- A self-loathing Jew.
It's perfect!
1423
01:31:20,743 --> 01:31:23,513
Hey, have, uh,
you guys seen Ron?
1424
01:31:23,579 --> 01:31:26,749
Oh, God. Oh, God.
1425
01:31:26,815 --> 01:31:29,345
Ron, listen, it's cool.
1426
01:31:29,417 --> 01:31:34,617
Okay, it's cool. I like you.
Okay? This is just--
It's not my thing!
1427
01:31:34,690 --> 01:31:37,660
Okay?
Shh.
1428
01:31:37,726 --> 01:31:42,356
If this is going to be special,
I need it to be silent.
1429
01:31:42,430 --> 01:31:46,030
Oh, God.
1430
01:31:46,101 --> 01:31:51,811
Oh, God, no.
No, listen. Listen.
[ Whimpering ]
1431
01:31:51,874 --> 01:31:56,084
Hey, Billy, have you seen--
Jesus Christ!
What the fuck, Ron?
1432
01:31:56,144 --> 01:31:58,384
What? What?
No, it's not what
it looks like.
1433
01:31:58,446 --> 01:32:01,476
Todd was trying
to break Mel and I up...
1434
01:32:01,550 --> 01:32:04,490
because he was worried
I was gonna replace him
at Mel's dad's company.
1435
01:32:04,553 --> 01:32:08,523
I don't even want
the job, you dumb shit!
All I want is Mel.
1436
01:32:08,591 --> 01:32:10,531
[ Muffled Shouts ]
1437
01:32:10,593 --> 01:32:14,303
So in retaliation
you decided to rape him?
1438
01:32:14,362 --> 01:32:16,802
I can respect that.
1439
01:32:16,865 --> 01:32:22,295
Hey, fellas, looks like
the real party's in here.
1440
01:32:22,370 --> 01:32:24,640
[ Groans ]
1441
01:32:24,707 --> 01:32:27,937
So, is there an agreed
upon safe word or what?
1442
01:32:28,010 --> 01:32:30,410
- [ Moans ]
- It's not what you think.
1443
01:32:30,478 --> 01:32:32,778
[ Gasps ]
1444
01:32:37,586 --> 01:32:41,656
- Mel.
- [ Moans ]
1445
01:32:41,724 --> 01:32:44,564
You are sick.
1446
01:32:44,627 --> 01:32:48,357
I-- No, no, wait!
It's not what you think.
Todd set me up!
1447
01:32:48,430 --> 01:32:51,670
- Wait, no. Honey! Hey!
- [ Gasps ]
1448
01:32:51,734 --> 01:32:54,174
No.
[ Groans ]
1449
01:32:57,472 --> 01:33:00,882
What the hell is
he talking about?
1450
01:33:00,943 --> 01:33:02,853
Ask him.
1451
01:33:04,246 --> 01:33:06,006
[ Chuckles ]
1452
01:33:08,516 --> 01:33:11,086
Mel!
[ Gasps ]
1453
01:33:13,889 --> 01:33:15,659
Mel!
1454
01:33:18,326 --> 01:33:20,696
Hey!
1455
01:33:20,763 --> 01:33:23,433
Wait, wait, wait!
Hang on!
1456
01:33:23,498 --> 01:33:26,468
[ Screaming ]
1457
01:33:26,534 --> 01:33:31,374
So he set this whole thing up
to get Ron to cheat. Sorry.
1458
01:33:31,439 --> 01:33:35,079
Fuck you.
1459
01:33:35,143 --> 01:33:39,783
- Is this true?
- Sweetheart, he's-- he's lying.
1460
01:33:39,848 --> 01:33:42,018
You are so fucking fired,
Billy!
1461
01:33:42,084 --> 01:33:45,394
Really, huh?
After all I've done.
1462
01:33:45,453 --> 01:33:49,093
He's been skimming off the top
for years and sleeping
with Angela in Accounting.
1463
01:33:49,157 --> 01:33:51,657
She gave him crabs.
I bought the cream.
1464
01:33:51,727 --> 01:33:54,657
- Bullshit!
- Bastard!
1465
01:33:54,730 --> 01:33:57,830
Okay, everybody
out of the room.
1466
01:33:57,900 --> 01:34:01,170
- Now, Autumn, honey--
- I said out now!
1467
01:34:08,076 --> 01:34:11,076
[ Autumn Shouting ]
Angela in Accounting!
Baby, I can explain.
1468
01:34:11,146 --> 01:34:15,046
Look at me!
You son of a bitch!
[ Punches Landing ]
1469
01:34:15,117 --> 01:34:17,647
Mel!
1470
01:34:17,720 --> 01:34:20,190
[ Both Gasping ]
1471
01:34:20,255 --> 01:34:24,255
It's my fiancée. It's all
a big misunderstanding.
1472
01:34:24,326 --> 01:34:28,896
Hang on! We're
taking a shortcut!
[ Screaming ]
1473
01:34:30,699 --> 01:34:33,339
Look out! Look out!
[ Horn Honking ]
1474
01:34:33,401 --> 01:34:35,871
[ Shouting ]
1475
01:34:44,446 --> 01:34:47,246
Mel! Mel!
1476
01:34:47,315 --> 01:34:49,885
Take the wheel!
1477
01:34:49,952 --> 01:34:52,592
Mel, let's talk.
Leave me alone!
1478
01:34:52,654 --> 01:34:56,394
- [ Gasps ]
- [ Screams ]
1479
01:34:56,458 --> 01:34:59,088
[ Crowd Gasps ]
1480
01:34:59,161 --> 01:35:01,431
Ron!
1481
01:35:03,165 --> 01:35:06,365
Ron!
Mel! Mel! Mel, listen.
1482
01:35:06,434 --> 01:35:09,104
Listen, listen, listen.
Todd thought I was going
to take his job.
1483
01:35:09,171 --> 01:35:12,541
He wanted to get rid of me,
so he's tried to set me up.
He what?
1484
01:35:12,607 --> 01:35:16,777
[ Stammering ]
What were you doing
in that room? I saw you!
1485
01:35:16,845 --> 01:35:20,645
We were just trying
to scare him, that's all!
That's all we were doing.
1486
01:35:20,715 --> 01:35:26,245
Mel, you know me.
And you know that I love you.
And I would never cheat on you.
1487
01:35:27,655 --> 01:35:30,525
Come on. Listen!
This-- This weekend...
1488
01:35:30,592 --> 01:35:34,802
I have heard nothing-- nothing
but reasons why we should
not get married.
1489
01:35:34,863 --> 01:35:37,733
You know, that it's-it's--
it's too soon,
1490
01:35:37,800 --> 01:35:39,730
that marriage
is a dead institution,
1491
01:35:39,802 --> 01:35:42,942
that golf is boring
if you play only one hole
the rest of your life.
1492
01:35:43,005 --> 01:35:45,435
What are you talking about?
1493
01:35:45,507 --> 01:35:47,207
I don't know!
1494
01:35:48,877 --> 01:35:51,277
Look, look. Listen, listen.
What I mean is this.
1495
01:35:51,346 --> 01:35:57,216
What I'm trying to say
is that no matter what
anyone else tells me,
1496
01:35:57,285 --> 01:36:01,455
all I can think about
is the next time I get
to stare into your eyes.
1497
01:36:01,523 --> 01:36:07,063
And if I get a chance
to do that every day
for the rest of my life,
1498
01:36:07,129 --> 01:36:09,329
that sounds like
a pretty good deal to me.
1499
01:36:13,501 --> 01:36:17,041
[ Crowd Sighing, Applauding ]
1500
01:36:21,109 --> 01:36:24,449
I'm ready to elope.
You're ready to--
[ Laughs ]
1501
01:36:24,512 --> 01:36:27,722
I'm sick of this
bride-to-be stuff.
I'm ready to elope.
1502
01:36:27,782 --> 01:36:31,552
Okay. Are you--
Are you serious?
1503
01:36:31,619 --> 01:36:35,219
'Cause I think Derek
actually knows a place that--
that we can-- could go.
1504
01:36:35,290 --> 01:36:40,260
I am-- Actually,
I think I know someone
who can help us.
1505
01:36:48,170 --> 01:36:53,210
Do you, Ron,
take Melinda to be
your lawfully wedded wife?
1506
01:36:53,275 --> 01:36:56,275
I do.
Do you, Melinda,
1507
01:36:56,344 --> 01:36:59,554
take Ron to be
your lawfully wedded husband?
1508
01:36:59,614 --> 01:37:02,324
I do.
[ Giggles ]
1509
01:37:02,384 --> 01:37:05,694
Way to go, Ron!
1510
01:37:05,753 --> 01:37:10,193
- Sorry, Mel.
- It's okay.
1511
01:37:10,258 --> 01:37:14,898
By the power vested in me
and the state of Florida,
1512
01:37:14,963 --> 01:37:16,763
I now pronounce you
man and wife.
1513
01:37:16,831 --> 01:37:20,441
You may kiss your bride,
bubby.
1514
01:37:27,642 --> 01:37:30,312
Oh, thank God.
I'm starving.
1515
01:37:30,378 --> 01:37:33,978
Yeah, I could really
go for a pizza.
1516
01:37:34,049 --> 01:37:36,249
You like pizza?
1517
01:37:47,996 --> 01:37:51,426
[ Laughing ]
Aloha, welcome!
1518
01:37:51,499 --> 01:37:56,769
Aloha back at ya. Last name
Rhodes, checking into
the honeymoon suite!
1519
01:37:56,838 --> 01:38:01,278
I'm sorry, ma'am.
It appears the honeymoon suite
is booked for another party.
1520
01:38:01,343 --> 01:38:04,053
Well, check again.
It's my honeymoon!
1521
01:38:04,112 --> 01:38:08,852
Calvin, tell this man
you made the reservation
in the honeymoon suite.
1522
01:38:08,917 --> 01:38:11,647
Baby, the thing is--
Don't you "baby" me!
1523
01:38:11,719 --> 01:38:14,589
I didn't wait 17 years...
1524
01:38:14,656 --> 01:38:17,856
to not have my honeymoon
in the honeymoon suite.
1525
01:38:17,926 --> 01:38:21,456
Hi. Checking into
the honeymoon suite.
Last name Simmons.
1526
01:38:22,797 --> 01:38:24,897
You--
1527
01:38:26,168 --> 01:38:28,768
You son of a bitch!
1528
01:38:28,836 --> 01:38:33,106
Hey, you. Small world, huh?
1529
01:38:33,175 --> 01:38:36,175
I'm gonna kill you!
[ Screaming ]
1530
01:38:36,244 --> 01:38:38,684
No, get back! Get back!
You are nuts!
1531
01:38:38,746 --> 01:38:43,186
Get over here,
you son of a bitch!
Mel! Mel!
1532
01:38:43,251 --> 01:38:46,621
Get your ass over here!
1533
01:38:46,688 --> 01:38:49,418
You son of a bitch!
1534
01:38:49,491 --> 01:38:54,261
That's my ring!
That was
my grandmother's ring!
1535
01:38:54,329 --> 01:38:56,829
You little shit!
Get away from me!
1536
01:38:56,898 --> 01:38:58,828
You need some therapy,
woman!
1537
01:38:58,900 --> 01:39:02,700
** [ Rock ]
113940