All language subtitles for Bachelor.Party.2.The.Last.Temptation.20018.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian Download
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:40,444 That's a little scary. Stop trying to wear me out. 2 00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:44,078 I think-- You know, you have a real hang-up with the term "stalker." 3 00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:49,375 No, I just fail to see how you showing up at my museum every day... 4 00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:52,490 for, like, two weeks makes me the stalker, 5 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:55,723 when clearly it makes you the stalker. 6 00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:58,959 The most important thing to remember here-- Hand, please. 7 00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:01,726 These past two months... 8 00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:05,725 have really, truly been the happiest two months... 9 00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:07,669 of your life. [ Laughs ] 10 00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:10,735 I love you. Love you too. There you go. 11 00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:14,844 W-Wait. Excuse me. [ Singsongy ] Son of a bitch. 12 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,808 I keep telling this guy no olives, 13 00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:18,877 and he keeps bringing me olives, and that's a problem because-- 14 00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:22,176 You hate olives. I hate olives! I hate olives. 15 00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:24,790 Don't move. I'm on it. 16 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:31,388 There. Crisis averted. 17 00:01:33,361 --> 00:01:37,931 You know, usually I would be completely disgusted... 18 00:01:37,998 --> 00:01:41,998 with someone sticking their fingers into my drink, but with you, not so much. 19 00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:47,439 In fact, it, uh-- Mmm. It adds a certain Melinda "zestiness" to it. 20 00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:50,308 Well, we make a good team. 21 00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:54,819 Yes, we do. 22 00:01:54,882 --> 00:01:59,122 Well, I am going to go powder my nose. [ Clears Throat ] 23 00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:01,287 Oh. Do me a favor-- If the waiter comes back, 24 00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:04,485 would you make sure there are no olives in my cake? 25 00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:06,558 I like that. 26 00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:16,236 Spence! Spence. All right, man, it's time. 27 00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:20,274 Time for what? It's time for me to get engaged. 28 00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:22,381 You were gonna put this in her sundae, remember? 29 00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:25,813 [ Whistles ] Oh, yeah. Right. Nice rock. 30 00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:27,879 Oh. Thanks. 31 00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:35,464 [ Groaning ] Oh, boy. 32 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,257 Oh. Sorry. It was packed. 33 00:02:39,327 --> 00:02:41,797 I just had to fight for a mirror. [ Laughs ] 34 00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:44,632 Here we are. A sundae for the gentleman. 35 00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:47,798 And chocolate cake for the lady. 36 00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:52,508 Actually, I think that she had the sundae and I had the cake. 37 00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:55,113 Oh, okay, yeah. Got it. 38 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,475 Mmm. 39 00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:02,778 So, Mel, 40 00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,820 I'm glad you stalked me, 41 00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:07,655 'cause, um, 42 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:11,091 I never met anyone like you before, 43 00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:13,358 and I, uh-- I know that... 44 00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:17,727 we've only been dating a little while, but... 45 00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:21,068 I just feel like I have known you my-- 46 00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:24,144 my-my whole-- my whole life. 47 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,614 Are you chewing that? 48 00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:30,584 [ Woman ] Oh, my God! Praise Jesus! 49 00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:35,884 Praise Jesus! Oh, Calvin! I knew you'd do it. 50 00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:39,319 Excuse me one second. Just wanna take that-- [ Chuckles ] 51 00:03:39,387 --> 00:03:42,517 Just a little quick search for something. 52 00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:45,460 All right. Be right back. 53 00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:47,526 - [ Woman ] I'm calling Mama. - Hi. Hi. 54 00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:50,495 - I'm sorry. I think there's been a mistake. - Mama! 55 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:53,834 I'm getting married, Mama. 56 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:56,601 Ma'am? Ma'am? Pardon me. Pardon me. That's my ring. 57 00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,840 Hang on, Mama. 58 00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,907 May I help you? 59 00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:04,135 Yes. 60 00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:06,551 I'm so sorry, but I think the waiter... 61 00:04:06,614 --> 00:04:08,884 mistakenly brought you the wrong sundae. 62 00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:11,949 You see, that-that's my grandmother's ring. 63 00:04:12,019 --> 00:04:16,389 I think you better go sit over there before my fiancé here... 64 00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:19,757 "whups" your ass. 65 00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:23,497 Okay, how about I buy both of your dinners? 66 00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:27,304 Good? Yes. Except I'm gonna need that back though, so-- 67 00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:29,898 - Ow! - Okay, baby, "whup" his ass! 68 00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:33,110 - Uh, baby, the thing is-- - The thing is, 69 00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:38,983 I haven't waited 17 years on your sorry ass... 70 00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:42,846 to let this white shadow come and spoil my engagement. 71 00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:46,386 It's either you whup his ass, Calvin, 72 00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:48,594 or I'll whup yours. 73 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:55,401 Yeah. You need to go now. 74 00:04:56,564 --> 00:04:59,304 Right. [ Woman ] Mama? Yes! 75 00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:01,467 Um, how about-- 76 00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:04,165 It's beautiful. Thief! Help! 77 00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:07,037 [ Shouting ] 78 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,778 [ Groaning ] Give me my ring! 79 00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:13,114 Give me my ring! 80 00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:16,020 [ Siren Blares ] [ Chuckles ] 81 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:19,593 Well, this wasn't exactly what I had planned. 82 00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:22,863 [ Police Radio Chatter ] 83 00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:27,663 Look. I know we haven't been together long, 84 00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:31,598 but you know when something just feels right, 85 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,395 and you don't want that feeling to end? 86 00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:36,597 Okay, Romeo, save it for your cell mate. 87 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:40,170 Whoa. Clancy. Give the kid a minute. 88 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,780 Thank you. No problem. 89 00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:46,753 Long story short. I love you. 90 00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:51,954 - I love you. - Will, uh-- 91 00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:55,957 Will you, uh-- 92 00:05:57,558 --> 00:06:01,798 - Will you marry me? - Yes, I will marry you. 93 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:05,702 [ Both Laughing ] 94 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,900 Okay. Congrats and all that. 95 00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:12,210 You have the right to remain silent. 96 00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:15,082 Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. 97 00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:16,642 I'm gonna go now. 98 00:06:20,648 --> 00:06:23,948 Dude, are you fuckin' with me? 99 00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:26,987 "Congratulations" might be the more appropriate response here, Derek. 100 00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:29,494 You've only dated her for two months. 101 00:06:29,557 --> 00:06:31,657 I've had this cold sore longer than that. 102 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,785 This coming from a guy who's been married three times. 103 00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:36,401 Have you learned nothing from me, man? 104 00:06:36,464 --> 00:06:38,574 I am a cautionary tale. 105 00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:40,972 I am Jesus. I have suffered for your sins. 106 00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:45,044 [ Farts ] [ Groans ] Please let that be a fart. 107 00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:47,105 [ Farts ] 108 00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:52,850 Yeah, baby! Suck it, losers. 109 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,553 Ooh! [ Laughs ] 110 00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:57,745 Okay. That was definitely not a fart. 111 00:06:57,818 --> 00:07:02,688 You know, I think that "biatch" is feeding this thing Indian food just to screw with me. 112 00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:07,134 [ Babbling ] [ Both Groan ] 113 00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:09,864 Yeah, you did a poop. Yeah. 114 00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:13,699 Any of you need changing? 115 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,872 Hey, where's, uh-- Where's Seth? He's up. 116 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:21,908 He's looking for a ball. Didn't have time to stop at home and get his. 117 00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:24,375 We're in a bowling alley. How hard is it to find a ball? 118 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,724 [ Boy ] All right! I'll take it! 119 00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:47,167 Sorry, fellas. I'm on the D.L. tonight. 120 00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:50,874 I don't think there's a disabled list for rec league bowling, buddy. 121 00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:53,368 Ron, how can you abandon me with these two losers? 122 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,640 I'm not abandoning anybody. 123 00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:58,679 Just 'cause I'm getting married doesn't mean I'm not gonna be here for bowling night... 124 00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:02,976 or fishing weekend or Jason's biannual "porno palooza." 125 00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:06,454 You know, nothing's gonna change. 126 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:09,990 Yeah. Well, that's what I thought. 127 00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:12,727 Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta get little shit machine... 128 00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:16,233 back to his gold-digging whore of a mother, huh? 129 00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:18,626 Hey, don't forget your ball. 130 00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,008 [ Chattering ] 131 00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:36,254 I was talking with the mayor, 132 00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:41,916 and I put a bug in his ear about having the reception at the opera house. 133 00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:46,659 You know, Mom, we were thinking of having a small, simple wedding. 134 00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:48,997 [ Laughs ] Honestly, Melinda. 135 00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:50,962 We're not Amish. 136 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:54,071 [ Doorbell Rings ] I'll get it. 137 00:08:57,971 --> 00:09:01,371 Oh, my little sister's engaged! [ Laughs ] 138 00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:03,541 Hi, beautiful. 139 00:09:03,611 --> 00:09:08,151 Hi, Todd. Sorry. I can't hear. 140 00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,575 He's always working. 141 00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:13,251 Let me ask you something. 142 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,820 Is it wrong to want to tap sister-in-law ass? 143 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:18,159 Right. Oh. I gotta go. 144 00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:20,785 [ Clears Throat ] Honey. 145 00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:23,861 Yes? Does this remind you of when we got engaged? 146 00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:26,771 How could I forget? Let's go on a second honeymoon. 147 00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:30,174 Someplace romantic. Maybe make a baby. 148 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,167 Hey, there's your dad. 149 00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,269 Hey. Abe. 150 00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:37,211 Did you hear the one about the horny jockey and the Venezuelan stable boy? 151 00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:39,647 [ Laughing ] No, but I think I like it already. 152 00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:42,353 [ Todd ] It's delicious. [ Doorbell Rings ] 153 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:45,445 [ Children Chattering In Chinese ] Hi, guys. 154 00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:48,488 [ Chattering Continues ] 155 00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:51,315 Speak English, huh? English! 156 00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:55,401 Look, go watch some TV, huh? [ Speaks Chinese ] 157 00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:57,932 They're so cute. Sorry about that. 158 00:09:57,998 --> 00:10:00,428 They're from the second marriage. 159 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:04,340 The ex only lets them speak to me in Mandarin, the hairy ass crack. 160 00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:07,684 Yeah. Anyways-- 161 00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:11,711 Congratulations. Oh. Thank you. 162 00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:15,349 Here. Oh. Sure. Uh-- 163 00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:19,186 Okay. 164 00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:21,392 ** [ Humming ] 165 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,133 Oh! 166 00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:30,956 How's my baby? 167 00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:33,931 My mother's killing me with wedding crap. 168 00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:36,601 Mmm. I seriously don't think I can take another year of this. 169 00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:39,310 Mmm. Well, we could just elope, of course. 170 00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:41,812 Then she'd kill both of us. 171 00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:45,050 What are you doing? 172 00:10:45,112 --> 00:10:47,112 You. 173 00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:53,249 Mmm! Baby, we're in the pantry. Oh! That's a good point. 174 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,590 [ Inhales ] 175 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,685 [ Laughing ] What are you doing? 176 00:10:57,758 --> 00:11:00,928 Oh, my God. * Sex elevator * Ding. 177 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:04,264 [ Laughs ] You are so stupid. 178 00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:19,248 Hey. Would it kill you to buy some groceries, man? 179 00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:22,022 Yeah, if the Mystics would cover the goddamn spread, I could. 180 00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:25,152 The Mystics? You're bettin' on the W.N.B.A.? 181 00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:29,158 Mm-hmm. Well, hello. [ Chuckles ] 182 00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:33,062 Hi. I'm-I'm Judith. I-I work with Mel. 183 00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:35,296 Oh, hey, Judith. I'm Jason. 184 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:38,002 I'm, uh, Ron's best friend-- since childhood. 185 00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:41,695 Yeah. And this is Seth, his college roommate. 186 00:11:41,769 --> 00:11:44,869 And that's Derek. Used to be his boss. Yeah. 187 00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:49,438 - Are you all in finance? - Actually, I'm in consumer products testing. 188 00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:51,779 [ Sniffing ] 189 00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:54,345 [ Sneezes ] 190 00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:01,515 - Derek, do you still work with Ron? - No. I, uh-- 191 00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:03,758 I left that company a while back, 192 00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:06,734 but, uh, I'm still in finance, you know. 193 00:12:06,794 --> 00:12:11,464 I'm telling you, man, she had a pine tree air freshener in her underpants. Gotta go. 194 00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:16,436 What do you do? I am in the advertising game. 195 00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,623 Yeah. Advertising? 196 00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:30,521 Mm-hmm. That sounds exciting. 197 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,553 It is. Yeah, it is. 198 00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:37,860 You know, Judith, you're a friend of Mel's and I'm a friend of Ron's, 199 00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:40,855 so I'm thinkin' we should get together. 200 00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:44,428 You know, maybe-- maybe grab a pizza, fuck. 201 00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:51,044 No? You don't like pizza? 202 00:12:52,139 --> 00:12:54,839 Seriously, who doesn't like pizza? 203 00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:58,148 Hey, uh, everyone? Everyone, um-- 204 00:12:58,211 --> 00:13:01,211 I don't know how to say this, but... 205 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:04,051 Mel and I simply could not come to an agreement on our wedding colors, 206 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:06,187 so we are breaking up. 207 00:13:06,253 --> 00:13:08,323 Very sorry. Everyone drive safe. 208 00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:12,428 - [ Crowd Laughing ] - Yes! Welcome back, buddy. 209 00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:16,001 He was kid-- He was kidding. 210 00:13:16,063 --> 00:13:18,233 [ Stammers, Laughs ] Sorry, Mel. 211 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,328 It's okay. 212 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:24,200 Anyway, uh, two short months ago, 213 00:13:24,271 --> 00:13:27,881 I wandered into the Cleveland Museum of Modern Art. 214 00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:30,581 I was, of course, lost, um, but then... 215 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:35,183 I laid eyes on the best exhibit in the whole joint-- Mel. 216 00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:38,318 - [ Crowd Sighs ] - [ Scoffs ] 217 00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:42,815 Uh, no, I know that two months is an awfully short time to get engaged, 218 00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:46,960 but, to be honest with you, I was ready to propose on that first day. 219 00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:49,297 So needless to say, 220 00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:52,932 when Mel proposed, I said yes. 221 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,940 [ Crowd Laughs ] I didn't want to give her time... 222 00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:57,242 to change her mind, so we have set a date. 223 00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:59,414 On May 31, one month from today, 224 00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:01,712 you are all invited to our open bar-- 225 00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:05,054 - Which will also feature a wedding, but, you know-- - [ Laughing ] 226 00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:08,382 All right, let's get drunk. 227 00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:12,323 Hey, uh, Derek? 228 00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:15,255 Why is your kid dropping a deuce in that plant? 229 00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:20,529 Jesus! Stop it! Bah! Bah! 230 00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:25,268 Mmm. [ Chuckles ] 231 00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:27,942 Now, Abe, I've taken a look at the numbers for last quarters. 232 00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:30,001 I think we've got some dead weight. Here, look. 233 00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:32,270 Take a look at this. 234 00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:35,539 - Hey, hey, fellas. - [ Abe ] Ron, come in. 235 00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:38,208 - Abe, you're a whiskey man, is that right? - Absolutely. 236 00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:40,448 All right, I got something here for you. 237 00:14:40,513 --> 00:14:42,553 What have we got here? 238 00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:44,315 Mmm. 239 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:47,094 Oh, that's nice. What is this? 240 00:14:47,154 --> 00:14:49,124 Jameson's 30-year Private Reserve. 241 00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:52,859 I'm half Irish, so I gotta support the motherland. I brought you a bottle. 242 00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:55,856 You're Irish? My mother's from Galway. 243 00:14:55,929 --> 00:14:59,729 Geez, it's gonna be great to get some more Irish blood in the family here. 244 00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:02,869 You know, Todd here is English, but we try not to think about that. 245 00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:05,066 [ Laughs ] 246 00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:07,908 You like Cubans? Uh, yes. 247 00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:10,875 - Thank you. - From what I understand, Ron, 248 00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:13,784 you're a, uh-- you're a numbers man. 249 00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:15,976 Yes, sir. I'm a financial consultant. 250 00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:18,489 I started out as a numbers man. 251 00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:22,521 In fact, Ron, you remind me a lot of myself when I was a young man. 252 00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:25,629 We can always use more numbers men in the company. 253 00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:29,102 You know, it's overrun now with too many goddamn lawyers. 254 00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:31,432 No offense, Todd. 255 00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:34,528 After all, it is a family business. 256 00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:37,001 Well, uh, thank you, sir. It's a very generous offer. 257 00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:39,110 No, no, no. Abe. You call me Abe. 258 00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:42,282 Looks like you need a refill. Todd! 259 00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:44,582 Yes, sir? Let's go find that bottle of yours, huh? 260 00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:46,984 Take care of that, would you? [ Hisses ] 261 00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:51,017 So, Ron, have you heard the one about the horny jockey and the Venezuelan stable boy? 262 00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:54,424 [ Ron Laughs ] No, but it sounds painful. 263 00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,715 It's been a great couple of months, 264 00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,990 and I can honestly say that you are the best two interns... 265 00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:03,601 we have ever had here. 266 00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:06,033 Unfortunately, we can only hire one of you. 267 00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:09,799 So... let the best intern win! 268 00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:12,009 [ Crowd Cheering, Hooting ] 269 00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:14,612 [ Bell Rings ] 270 00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:20,107 Get in there, Maxie! Get in there! 271 00:16:22,549 --> 00:16:25,019 Get angry! Get angry! 272 00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:27,145 [ Cell Phone Ringing ] 273 00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:29,320 Oh, that's not good. [ Grunting ] 274 00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:33,059 - Y'ello. - Ronny, it's Todd. 275 00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:35,756 Oh, hey, Todd. What-What's goin' on? 276 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:39,628 Oh, just a little thing called your bachelor party. So what's the game plan? 277 00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:41,699 I, uh, don't know. 278 00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:45,338 My buddies are big fans of "Two-for-Tuesday" lap dances at Spanky's. 279 00:16:45,405 --> 00:16:47,465 Listen, Ron, this is your last hurrah. 280 00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,880 We gotta do this thing in style. 281 00:16:49,942 --> 00:16:52,512 Thinkin' we fly somewhere warm, hmm? 282 00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:56,679 Where the drinks have umbrellas, the hotels are five stars, 283 00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:59,049 the vagina flows like water-- 284 00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:01,449 Sweet, sticky water. 285 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:06,491 Wow. That sounds great, but some of the guys are on tight budgets. 286 00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:08,559 That's what the company card's for, right? 287 00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:12,598 I mean, like Abe said, this is a family business. 288 00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:16,595 Look, that is very generous of you, but I can't let you pay for all that. 289 00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:20,409 Look, I'm really happy that you're marrying Mel. 290 00:17:22,109 --> 00:17:24,279 I mean, I always wanted a brother, 291 00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:27,454 but unfortunately my mother died when I was pretty young. 292 00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:30,554 Look, I know we're not blood or anything, 293 00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:34,017 but, look, I would be honored if you would let me... 294 00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:36,987 throw my new brother his bachelor party. 295 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:40,056 Well-- Of course, Todd. Yeah. Absolutely. 296 00:17:40,127 --> 00:17:42,327 Awesome. 297 00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:45,995 Now listen, you probably want to get some sleep, bro-ham, 298 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:49,135 'cause you're gonna need it. 299 00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:51,902 Wow, Todd, I-- I'm so sorry about your mom. 300 00:17:51,971 --> 00:17:54,271 I never knew. 301 00:17:54,341 --> 00:17:56,511 Billy, are you fucking retarded? 302 00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:58,676 She's not dead. She's in Phoenix... 303 00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:02,475 with her second husband and her third set of tits. 304 00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:05,389 I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah, you are. 305 00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:09,123 Now, look. 306 00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:11,859 I need recon on this guy. Ron Simmons. 307 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:15,564 I wanna know everything about him-- every little detail. 308 00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:19,628 Every man has his weakness, Billy, and I wanna know his. 309 00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:25,099 The old man's steppin' down soon. I'm next in line. 310 00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:28,642 I haven't been sleeping with this cow of a daughter for the last three years... 311 00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:32,448 just so Daddy's little favorite can come in and take it from me. 312 00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:34,552 Uh-uh. 313 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:37,954 Mmm. Sadly, Billy, 314 00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:41,687 I just don't think this little union's gonna make it to the altar. 315 00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:43,764 Mmm. 316 00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:47,033 [ Horn Honking ] Let's go! I'm still sober. 317 00:18:47,093 --> 00:18:50,633 Come on, man. The chicks in South Beach aren't gonna fuck themselves. 318 00:18:52,399 --> 00:18:56,339 - Hey, Mel. - Hey, boys. 319 00:18:56,403 --> 00:19:00,773 I love you, baby doll. See you soon. Mmm. 320 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,380 Hey-- Oh! [ Chuckling ] What's that for? 321 00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:06,153 Well, you gotta buy the groom a lap dance. 322 00:19:06,213 --> 00:19:08,983 Pick a hottie. 323 00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:11,878 See? That's why I'm marrying you. 324 00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:15,216 [ Tires Screeching ] Oh, shit. 325 00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:17,718 It's my first wife. Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go! 326 00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:22,700 - Love you. - Go, go, go. Come on, go! 327 00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:29,766 [ Tires Screeching ] 328 00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:37,181 Nice try, asshole. 329 00:19:37,244 --> 00:19:39,984 It's your weekend with your son. Remember? 330 00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:42,276 Hey, it's Ron's bachelor party. 331 00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:45,719 That is your problem, shit for brains. 332 00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:48,823 Ron, congratulations. 333 00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:51,258 Oh! Marriage is a beautiful thing, 334 00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:53,564 and I am so very happy for you. 335 00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:56,296 Ass wipe. 336 00:19:57,264 --> 00:19:59,504 Thanks, Irene. 337 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,140 I'm sorry you're not gonna be able to make it. That sucks. 338 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,113 Get in the van, Ron. Tick-tock, tick-tock. 339 00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:08,342 ** [ Headphones: Rock ] 340 00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:11,838 All right, I'm goin', okay? My life knows no joy. 341 00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:16,621 All I know is work and alimony payments and babysitting. 342 00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:18,793 So if you think I'm missing out on a weekend... 343 00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:21,351 of drunken debauchery, you're sadly mistaken. 344 00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:25,361 Well, he can't come with. This is a bachelor party, not Romper Room. 345 00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:29,125 - Ron? - Ron? 346 00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:32,995 - Ron? - [ Jet Engine Whining ] 347 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:37,800 Wait a minute. This? 348 00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:41,140 This is your future father-in-law's plane, man? 349 00:20:41,207 --> 00:20:43,507 Way to go, Federline. 350 00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:47,076 - And this Todd guy, he's gonna pay for the whole weekend? - Yeah, I guess so. 351 00:20:47,146 --> 00:20:49,846 [ Laughs ] Sounds gay to me, man. 352 00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,976 Yeah, we don't have to put out, do we? 353 00:20:52,051 --> 00:20:55,521 Yeah, I'm not sleepin' with your brother-in-law, Ron. 354 00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:57,858 ** [ Radio: Hip-hop ] 355 00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:03,299 - [ Tires Screech ] - What a douche. 356 00:21:03,363 --> 00:21:05,703 My niggas! 357 00:21:09,168 --> 00:21:11,938 Huh? What about this? 358 00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:14,414 So, uh, guys, this is Todd. Todd, the guys. 359 00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:17,244 Gentlemen. Let's do this. 360 00:21:17,310 --> 00:21:20,010 [ Derek ] Nice sweater. I guess purple's coming back. Shotgun. 361 00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:22,879 Whoa. What's with the kid? 362 00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:27,319 Oh, don't worry. He's the mature one. Perfect. 363 00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:31,588 [ Laughs ] 364 00:21:31,658 --> 00:21:34,428 Uh-- [ Chuckling ] Oh, man. 365 00:21:35,995 --> 00:21:39,925 - What? What? - Okay, okay, listen, guys. 366 00:21:39,999 --> 00:21:43,139 Take your sea-- Why don't you have any pants on? 367 00:21:43,202 --> 00:21:45,142 What, this is a private plane, right? 368 00:21:45,204 --> 00:21:47,274 Them's my privates. 369 00:21:47,340 --> 00:21:49,280 [ Laughs ] [ Derek ] Eww. 370 00:21:49,342 --> 00:21:51,582 Anyway, look. Couple of flight attendants are gonna come out. 371 00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:53,514 Go over some safety precautions. It's not a big deal. 372 00:21:53,580 --> 00:21:55,920 - Great. - Oh, ladies? 373 00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:01,587 Hello, boys. I'm Mandy. And I'm Sandy. 374 00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:04,324 And I'm in the upright and locked position. 375 00:22:04,391 --> 00:22:06,631 Yeah! [ Laughs ] 376 00:22:06,693 --> 00:22:08,863 We'll be serving you all the way to sunny Florida. 377 00:22:08,928 --> 00:22:12,568 And I got two million airline miles. Yeah! 378 00:22:12,632 --> 00:22:15,502 Hey, Derek. Offspring. 379 00:22:15,568 --> 00:22:19,068 Aw, geez. Hold on. 380 00:22:19,138 --> 00:22:21,138 Come on, "Melvoid." Let's go. 381 00:22:21,207 --> 00:22:23,277 Dad, it's Tommy, dumb ass. 382 00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:25,412 Go see Captain Larry in the cockpit. 383 00:22:25,478 --> 00:22:27,378 I don't wanna go to the cockpit. Captain Larry. 384 00:22:27,447 --> 00:22:30,717 Don't forget to wipe your ass. 385 00:22:30,783 --> 00:22:32,923 In the event of a water landing, 386 00:22:32,985 --> 00:22:35,585 you will find several flotation devices... 387 00:22:35,655 --> 00:22:37,755 on board the aircraft. 388 00:22:39,459 --> 00:22:42,129 [ Cell Phone Ringing ] 389 00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:44,134 Talk to me, Billy. 390 00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:48,536 I've checked you into the suite and made sure the bar is fully stocked. 391 00:22:48,601 --> 00:22:52,071 - What about decorations for the room? - I'm taking care of that now. 392 00:22:52,138 --> 00:22:56,008 [ Chattering ] 393 00:23:04,551 --> 00:23:07,821 [ Tommy ] Guys, come on. Let me out. 394 00:23:08,921 --> 00:23:10,921 [ Laughs ] 395 00:23:10,990 --> 00:23:13,560 Oh. 396 00:23:13,626 --> 00:23:15,756 [ Derek Muttering ] 397 00:23:17,764 --> 00:23:20,774 You, sir, know how to travel. 398 00:23:22,034 --> 00:23:24,544 Well, nothing is too good for my new bro. 399 00:23:24,604 --> 00:23:26,774 All right. Mmm. 400 00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:32,037 Speakin' of which, have you ever had two girls at once? 401 00:23:32,111 --> 00:23:36,521 Uh, actually, sadly, no. But, uh, have you? 402 00:23:36,583 --> 00:23:38,653 Of course, or else I wouldn't be married. 403 00:23:38,718 --> 00:23:43,188 Listen. I cannot let my new brother get married till he has had a hat trick, 404 00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:47,625 and I happen to have it on very good authority... 405 00:23:47,694 --> 00:23:52,004 that Sandy and Mandy are, mmm, morally flexible. 406 00:23:52,064 --> 00:23:54,404 [ Laughs ] And I love that about them. 407 00:23:54,467 --> 00:23:56,737 I do, but, uh-- 408 00:23:56,803 --> 00:23:58,813 I don't know, I think this weekend... 409 00:23:58,871 --> 00:24:00,911 I just wanna hang out with you guys... 410 00:24:00,973 --> 00:24:03,013 and get drunk and maybe crap my pants. 411 00:24:03,075 --> 00:24:07,805 - You know. I'm a traditionalist. - Okay. You know what? 412 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:10,480 I'm gonna let this little Boy Scout routine fly for right now. 413 00:24:10,550 --> 00:24:12,650 [ Laughs ] Let me tell you something. 414 00:24:12,719 --> 00:24:16,459 My motto in business and in life... 415 00:24:16,523 --> 00:24:18,863 is "balls to the wall." 416 00:24:18,925 --> 00:24:21,655 Now, the mark of a good bachelor party... 417 00:24:21,728 --> 00:24:24,758 is the bachelor getting laid early and often. 418 00:24:24,831 --> 00:24:28,641 And the Todd only throws the best bachelor parties. 419 00:24:33,673 --> 00:24:36,183 Ladies, do your worst. 420 00:24:36,242 --> 00:24:39,612 Guys, I'm-I'm fine. I really don't want a lap dance now. I'm fine. 421 00:24:39,679 --> 00:24:41,909 [ Both Giggling ] Whoa. 422 00:24:41,981 --> 00:24:45,381 Wait. Can I just-- A little Purell first? Like, two-two squirts, please? 423 00:24:45,451 --> 00:24:48,351 Shut it, germ boy. 424 00:24:48,420 --> 00:24:51,320 [ Screams ] 425 00:24:51,390 --> 00:24:52,960 Oh, dear God! 426 00:25:05,071 --> 00:25:08,681 - [ Mandy ] Bye. - Okay. All right. 427 00:25:08,741 --> 00:25:10,811 Thank you, ladies. 428 00:25:10,877 --> 00:25:14,807 Yeah! [ Laughs ] Drained it. 429 00:25:14,881 --> 00:25:17,721 [ Derek ] See you on the Internet. [ Laughs ] 430 00:25:17,784 --> 00:25:19,754 [ Mandy ] See you on the way back. 431 00:25:19,819 --> 00:25:22,289 See ya. Thanks. Whoa. 432 00:25:22,354 --> 00:25:25,024 [ Thuds ] [ Whimpers ] 433 00:25:34,233 --> 00:25:37,143 [ Groans ] 434 00:25:37,203 --> 00:25:39,813 All right? Way to go. 435 00:25:39,872 --> 00:25:43,312 One minute in Miami and two broken arms. That's our Seth. 436 00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:46,645 All right, gentlemen. Gentlemen, listen up. This is Billy. 437 00:25:46,713 --> 00:25:49,883 He's gonna be helping us out with the, uh, festivities this weekend. 438 00:25:49,949 --> 00:25:52,149 What's up? Let's check it out. 439 00:25:52,218 --> 00:25:54,688 Come on. Left, right. 440 00:25:58,124 --> 00:26:00,994 Welcome to the presidential suite. Wow. 441 00:26:01,060 --> 00:26:03,160 Ha, ha! 442 00:26:03,229 --> 00:26:05,729 Oh, my God. They're really letting me in this place? 443 00:26:05,798 --> 00:26:08,938 [ Laughing ] Oh, look at this. Whoo! 444 00:26:09,001 --> 00:26:12,271 Dip my balls in champagne, 'cause I'm in heaven. 445 00:26:12,338 --> 00:26:14,438 Groovy, Todd. 446 00:26:14,506 --> 00:26:18,506 Damn, Ron, I might just bang your brother-in-law after all, man. 447 00:26:18,577 --> 00:26:20,507 Oh, well, thanks for that image. 448 00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:23,719 [ Laughs ] Geez. 449 00:26:23,783 --> 00:26:25,793 You good over there, Seth? Yes. 450 00:26:25,852 --> 00:26:28,022 All right, pal. This place is amazing. 451 00:26:28,087 --> 00:26:30,187 Thank you. Aw, nothin' but the best. 452 00:26:30,256 --> 00:26:33,156 Now, there is one more stop on the tour. 453 00:26:37,630 --> 00:26:39,800 [ Chuckling ] Yeah. 454 00:26:39,866 --> 00:26:43,536 [ Chattering ] Gentlemen, say hello to my little friends. 455 00:26:43,602 --> 00:26:45,602 [ Giggling ] 456 00:26:45,672 --> 00:26:47,642 Guten Tag. Hello. 457 00:26:47,707 --> 00:26:49,877 Guten Tag. 458 00:26:51,477 --> 00:26:54,277 ** [ Singing In German ] 459 00:27:06,558 --> 00:27:09,298 Eins! Zwei! Drei! 460 00:27:09,361 --> 00:27:11,701 Whoo! 461 00:27:11,764 --> 00:27:13,804 [ With German Accent ] Long live Hitler! 462 00:27:17,236 --> 00:27:20,666 [ Groans ] Just gonna-- I'm gonna hit the head. 463 00:27:20,740 --> 00:27:22,780 [ Ron ] What are you trying to do, kill me? 464 00:27:22,842 --> 00:27:25,212 [ No Audible Dialogue ] [ Chattering ] 465 00:27:36,255 --> 00:27:38,155 Hey. Move. 466 00:27:40,192 --> 00:27:42,902 So what do we got? All right, so-- 467 00:27:42,962 --> 00:27:46,272 There's a camera in every single room. Perfect. 468 00:27:46,332 --> 00:27:50,272 If this guy so much as pops a stiffy, we're gonna get it on tape. 469 00:27:52,204 --> 00:27:55,044 I'm telling you, that German chick said something about Hitler. 470 00:27:55,107 --> 00:27:58,237 My German's a little rusty, but I am pretty sure that she said, 471 00:27:58,310 --> 00:28:00,150 "Long live Hitler." 472 00:28:00,212 --> 00:28:03,382 Seth? Relax, pal. Get a massage. 473 00:28:03,449 --> 00:28:06,219 I'm serious, okay? As the only Jew here, all right, 474 00:28:06,285 --> 00:28:09,515 I feel it is my responsibility to be concerned... 475 00:28:09,588 --> 00:28:11,688 that our roommates might be Nazis. 476 00:28:11,758 --> 00:28:13,658 All right, buddy, I'll tell you what. 477 00:28:13,726 --> 00:28:17,496 If they even think about invading Poland, we'll let somebody know. 478 00:28:17,563 --> 00:28:21,373 All right, Ronny. Gin and tonic time, buddy. 479 00:28:21,433 --> 00:28:25,073 Oh, fire it up. Ahhh. 480 00:28:26,906 --> 00:28:29,006 Will you just drop it, please? 481 00:28:29,075 --> 00:28:31,075 Hey, I'm cool with your sexuality, D. 482 00:28:31,143 --> 00:28:33,283 It's just, I don't swing that way, man. 483 00:28:33,345 --> 00:28:37,215 Look. Asking you to rub sunblock on my back does not make you gay. 484 00:28:37,283 --> 00:28:39,793 Seriously. You might as well have asked me for a hand job. 485 00:28:39,852 --> 00:28:42,022 Okay, that is just sick. Hey. 486 00:28:42,088 --> 00:28:45,258 I smell cocktail wieners. 487 00:28:45,324 --> 00:28:48,194 What? 488 00:28:48,260 --> 00:28:50,830 Eureka. 489 00:28:50,897 --> 00:28:54,667 Okay. What are you doing? 490 00:28:54,733 --> 00:28:57,203 You don't even know what the S.A.A. is. 491 00:28:57,269 --> 00:28:59,669 It's Sales Associates of America or some crap. 492 00:28:59,738 --> 00:29:02,978 Just, you know, talk about selling and goal realization... 493 00:29:03,042 --> 00:29:05,182 and all that other Tony Robbins shit. 494 00:29:06,645 --> 00:29:08,945 Why am I Tubbs? 495 00:29:09,015 --> 00:29:12,215 Because you, sir, are no Crockett. 496 00:29:12,284 --> 00:29:14,954 [ Clicks Tongue ] 497 00:29:15,021 --> 00:29:17,961 To be honest with you, I was a bit nervous coming here. 498 00:29:18,024 --> 00:29:22,494 When we first proposed a Sex Addicts Anonymous retreat, people rolled their eyes. 499 00:29:22,561 --> 00:29:24,831 The were, like, "Why not just call it an orgy?" Ooh. 500 00:29:24,897 --> 00:29:27,027 Oh, no, you'll see. 501 00:29:27,099 --> 00:29:29,199 These retreats offer a very supportive environment, 502 00:29:29,268 --> 00:29:33,168 where we can focus on healing and getting on the road to recovery. 503 00:29:33,239 --> 00:29:37,479 This weekend, sex will be the farthest thing from your mind. 504 00:29:37,543 --> 00:29:40,383 [ Chattering ] 505 00:29:42,148 --> 00:29:44,248 I can't get enough of that-- 506 00:29:45,351 --> 00:29:48,291 You like guns, Pop? What is that? 507 00:29:48,354 --> 00:29:51,894 The best day of my life was the day they gave me my 10-year chip. 508 00:29:51,958 --> 00:29:56,728 Oh, welcome. I'm Sue Hoover, president of the Southeast chapter. 509 00:29:56,795 --> 00:30:00,525 Oh, nice to meet you, Sue-- All of you. 510 00:30:00,599 --> 00:30:04,399 So what chapter are you from, Tubbs? Is that your first name? 511 00:30:04,470 --> 00:30:07,070 - Uh-- - Actually, that's his last name. 512 00:30:07,139 --> 00:30:10,809 Yeah, I'm Sonny and that's my partner Rico. 513 00:30:10,877 --> 00:30:13,047 Yeah. And we're from the Midwest chapter. 514 00:30:13,112 --> 00:30:15,182 Welcome, Sonny and Rico. Yeah. 515 00:30:15,247 --> 00:30:17,347 So, how long have you two been in the program? 516 00:30:17,416 --> 00:30:21,316 - Oh, not very. - Well, speak for yourself, Rico, 517 00:30:21,387 --> 00:30:24,387 'cause I've been a member for, oh, gosh, like, 20 years. 518 00:30:24,456 --> 00:30:27,226 Twenty years? My goodness. Yeah. 519 00:30:27,293 --> 00:30:30,533 - Wow. - Yeah, I got started really young. 520 00:30:30,596 --> 00:30:33,196 My grandpa, he was a member, so he started teaching me early. [ Coughs ] 521 00:30:33,265 --> 00:30:35,625 Oh, careful there, Suzy Q. 522 00:30:35,701 --> 00:30:38,141 Those things are a little tricky. You gotta be careful. 523 00:30:38,204 --> 00:30:40,944 Yeah, you know, between my grandpa and the Boy Scouts, 524 00:30:41,007 --> 00:30:44,207 - it was like I was just born to be in S.A.A. - The Boy Scouts? 525 00:30:44,276 --> 00:30:46,546 Oh, yeah. I did a lot of hustling in the Scouts. 526 00:30:46,612 --> 00:30:48,682 Yeah, with the Christmas tree lot in the winter, 527 00:30:48,747 --> 00:30:52,377 and then goin' door to door in the summertime-- whatever it took. 528 00:30:52,451 --> 00:30:55,421 My scoutmaster even said I was the best he ever had. [ Coughs ] 529 00:30:56,755 --> 00:30:58,255 I'm fine. Are you all right? 530 00:30:58,324 --> 00:31:00,434 Okay, let's not bore the nice people... 531 00:31:00,492 --> 00:31:02,492 with faded childhood glories there, Sonny. 532 00:31:02,561 --> 00:31:08,271 Hey, Rico, isn't that your kid over there? Hmm? 533 00:31:08,334 --> 00:31:10,844 Not a lot of women are comfortable with a male "vaginacologist," 534 00:31:10,903 --> 00:31:13,943 but I have many, many satisfied patients. 535 00:31:14,006 --> 00:31:18,576 - I am booking appointments. - Come on. 536 00:31:18,644 --> 00:31:21,214 So, uh, Betty. Hmm? 537 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:23,550 You wanna maybe grab a drink later? 538 00:31:23,615 --> 00:31:27,745 You know, talk shop? I could always use some pointers on my technique. 539 00:31:27,819 --> 00:31:31,259 Okay? [ Chuckles ] Man. 540 00:31:31,323 --> 00:31:34,263 - I need to call my sponsor. - Mm-hmm. 541 00:31:37,529 --> 00:31:41,869 [ Todd ] Guys, let's go! The stripper's aren't getting any younger. 542 00:31:41,934 --> 00:31:47,074 - Sonny! Sonny! - Hey! 543 00:31:47,139 --> 00:31:49,779 Betty, what's-- what's goin' on? 544 00:31:49,841 --> 00:31:54,011 Nothing. I just really enjoyed talking with you earlier. 545 00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:56,880 Oh, well, th-that's cool. Yeah. 546 00:31:56,949 --> 00:31:59,149 [ Chuckles ] 547 00:31:59,218 --> 00:32:02,488 Maybe, uh-- Maybe we should hang out, you know? 548 00:32:02,554 --> 00:32:08,164 Grab a pizza, fuck? [ Laughs ] I thought you'd never ask. 549 00:32:08,227 --> 00:32:11,457 - Pardon? - Well, I don't eat pizza, but whatever. 550 00:32:14,333 --> 00:32:17,443 Gentlemen, I will see you later. 551 00:32:17,503 --> 00:32:19,673 [ Laughing ] 552 00:32:21,107 --> 00:32:23,707 That line has never worked. I mean, ever. 553 00:32:23,775 --> 00:32:26,905 I'm gonna be really pissed if she doesn't murder him, 554 00:32:26,979 --> 00:32:29,579 or at least harvest a kidney, man. 555 00:32:29,648 --> 00:32:34,688 ** [ Dance Rock ] 556 00:32:34,753 --> 00:32:37,993 [ Chattering ] 557 00:32:40,492 --> 00:32:44,762 Ugh! That-That pole's gotta be covered in crabs and herpes... 558 00:32:44,830 --> 00:32:46,900 and God knows what. 559 00:32:46,965 --> 00:32:50,435 I am so glad I cashed in my 401(k), man. 560 00:32:50,502 --> 00:32:53,772 [ Groans ] Gentlemen, this booth's us. 561 00:32:53,839 --> 00:32:56,039 Come on. 562 00:33:00,046 --> 00:33:02,906 [ No Audible Dialogue ] Excuse me, ladies. 563 00:33:02,981 --> 00:33:06,791 I hate to interrupt this meeting of the minds, but I got a work question. 564 00:33:06,852 --> 00:33:10,262 Who wants to make $10,000 for five minutes of work? 565 00:33:12,358 --> 00:33:15,658 Oh-- Back, back. Yeah. There it is. There it is. 566 00:33:15,727 --> 00:33:18,397 Aaah! Yeah! 567 00:33:23,835 --> 00:33:25,995 Get into position. 568 00:33:32,211 --> 00:33:35,651 Oh! The conquering hero has returned. 569 00:33:35,714 --> 00:33:37,654 [ Laughing ] Yeah. 570 00:33:37,716 --> 00:33:40,916 - Hey, that didn't take long, man. - Trust me, dude. 571 00:33:40,986 --> 00:33:44,786 She couldn't take much more. I fucking killed it-- Ninja style. 572 00:33:44,856 --> 00:33:49,526 - Oh, yeah? What, like fast and silent? - You know it, brother. Yeah. 573 00:33:49,595 --> 00:33:53,665 Hoo. Check it out. That chick's a dead ringer for a young Nancy Reagan. 574 00:33:53,732 --> 00:33:58,302 - [ Seth ] So? - I always wanted to fuck Nancy Reagan. Yeah! 575 00:33:58,370 --> 00:34:00,770 [ Seth ] I was always fond of Geraldine Ferraro. 576 00:34:00,839 --> 00:34:03,309 Very sexy. Come on, bachelor. 577 00:34:03,375 --> 00:34:05,475 You've got a date in the V.I.P. room. 578 00:34:05,544 --> 00:34:07,714 Go to the V.I.P.-- Oh, my God. 579 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:11,850 Whoa. Hey! 580 00:34:11,917 --> 00:34:15,717 Whoa! You're-- You're very nimble. 581 00:34:15,787 --> 00:34:19,017 Shh. Save your energy. You're gonna need it. 582 00:34:19,091 --> 00:34:22,691 Oh. [ Laughs ] 583 00:34:22,761 --> 00:34:24,901 Oh, wow. 584 00:34:24,963 --> 00:34:27,433 I've gotta get married more often. 585 00:34:29,168 --> 00:34:31,868 Uh-- Hey. Hey. 586 00:34:31,937 --> 00:34:35,437 Maybe the belt should stay buckled though. No? 587 00:34:35,507 --> 00:34:37,437 Robin! Your mommy's on the phone. 588 00:34:37,509 --> 00:34:40,649 - Your grandma had a heart attack. - Nana? 589 00:34:40,712 --> 00:34:43,152 Uh-huh. 590 00:34:43,215 --> 00:34:45,775 Oh, my God. That's horrible. I-- 591 00:34:45,851 --> 00:34:49,321 You're not going anywhere, baby. Hey. Hey-- Ah! 592 00:34:49,388 --> 00:34:52,218 [ Moaning ] Okay. 593 00:34:52,291 --> 00:34:55,291 Hey. Hey-- That's a zipper. 594 00:34:55,361 --> 00:34:58,801 - That's happening now. - Hey, back off! 595 00:34:58,864 --> 00:35:00,834 - He's mine. - You can share. 596 00:35:00,899 --> 00:35:02,829 What? What? Oh! Oh, Lord. 597 00:35:02,901 --> 00:35:06,241 - Maybe we've had enough. That's my leg. - You fucking bitch! 598 00:35:06,305 --> 00:35:09,375 [ Both Shouting ] 599 00:35:13,078 --> 00:35:15,208 [ Screams ] 600 00:35:15,281 --> 00:35:18,421 [ Whimpers, Screams ] 601 00:35:18,484 --> 00:35:21,524 Holy shit. Come on, guys. 602 00:35:21,587 --> 00:35:24,687 - [ Ron Groaning ] - Get the hell off of him. 603 00:35:24,756 --> 00:35:27,586 - [ Moans ] - Hey! 604 00:35:27,659 --> 00:35:29,799 [ Groans ] 605 00:35:29,861 --> 00:35:33,061 [ Yelling ] 606 00:35:33,131 --> 00:35:36,601 [ Laughing ] Yeah! Stripper fight! 607 00:35:36,668 --> 00:35:40,268 - [ Groans ] - Get off! Get off! 608 00:35:41,540 --> 00:35:43,780 - [ Screaming ] - [ Screams ] 609 00:35:46,044 --> 00:35:48,554 [ Screaming ] 610 00:35:58,690 --> 00:36:00,630 What is Todd's deal? 611 00:36:00,692 --> 00:36:02,932 Is he trying to get me laid or get me killed? 612 00:36:02,994 --> 00:36:05,404 Hey, man, there are worse ways to die. Yeah. 613 00:36:05,464 --> 00:36:07,874 Dudes, that chick in the corner... 614 00:36:07,933 --> 00:36:11,173 is throwing me signals like she's Johnny fuckin' Bench. 615 00:36:12,904 --> 00:36:14,674 She's paying more attention... 616 00:36:14,740 --> 00:36:18,280 to the floating lint than you, dude. 617 00:36:18,344 --> 00:36:20,584 All right, let's get down to brass tacks, okay? 618 00:36:20,646 --> 00:36:24,546 Are you ready for marriage, Ron? I think so. Yeah. 619 00:36:24,616 --> 00:36:27,346 Oh. So you're ready to say good-bye to blow jobs? 620 00:36:27,419 --> 00:36:29,319 'Cause that's the first thing that goes. 621 00:36:29,388 --> 00:36:34,188 Married women don't give blow jobs. It's a union thing, man. 622 00:36:34,260 --> 00:36:36,430 And then your sports that you love, 623 00:36:36,495 --> 00:36:38,495 that's the next thing you can kiss good-bye. 624 00:36:38,564 --> 00:36:42,004 - Mel likes sports. - No, no, no. 625 00:36:42,067 --> 00:36:43,937 They pretend they like sports, 626 00:36:44,002 --> 00:36:46,872 the same way we pretend we like talkin' to them. 627 00:36:46,938 --> 00:36:49,478 The only sports you're gonna get when you're married... 628 00:36:49,541 --> 00:36:51,781 is Little League T-Ball. 629 00:36:51,843 --> 00:36:54,413 And I've seen that stuff, and trust me, Ron. 630 00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:59,590 Most of those kids really fuckin' suck, okay? 631 00:36:59,651 --> 00:37:02,521 And by the time they take away the last thing... 632 00:37:02,588 --> 00:37:05,258 that gives you any pleasure at all-- booze-- 633 00:37:05,324 --> 00:37:08,734 you've forgotten what happiness is. 634 00:37:08,794 --> 00:37:11,304 So now you're just walking around, 635 00:37:11,363 --> 00:37:14,473 an empty shell of the man you once were. 636 00:37:14,533 --> 00:37:16,873 And that's when they leave you, Ron. Hmm. 637 00:37:16,935 --> 00:37:21,065 Claimin' that "You're not the man I married." 638 00:37:21,139 --> 00:37:24,439 Well, no shit, hey? 639 00:37:24,510 --> 00:37:26,950 Thanks for playin', and here's a parting gift. 640 00:37:27,012 --> 00:37:31,252 Child support and alimony right up the ass! 641 00:37:37,055 --> 00:37:39,925 And... that's marriage, Ron. 642 00:37:39,991 --> 00:37:41,931 You ready for that? 643 00:37:45,564 --> 00:37:47,734 I'm gonna go pee. Mmm. 644 00:37:47,799 --> 00:37:49,769 Yeah? Yeah. 645 00:37:53,405 --> 00:37:56,575 I need some pills. [ Groans ] 646 00:37:56,642 --> 00:37:59,852 Oh, for God's sakes. Let me help you with that. Oh, thanks. 647 00:37:59,911 --> 00:38:02,411 Just don't get any ideas. I'm not gonna wipe your ass later. 648 00:38:02,481 --> 00:38:04,551 Ooh. My old friend codeine. 649 00:38:04,616 --> 00:38:06,716 Nice. Two for me, one for you? No, no, no. 650 00:38:06,785 --> 00:38:08,845 I need that stuff, man. Wait a minute. 651 00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:11,790 - Can you drink with those? - It's way better when you drink. 652 00:38:11,857 --> 00:38:15,187 One beer is not gonna be a problem. 653 00:38:15,260 --> 00:38:20,030 Aw, come on, man. Marriage is outdated, Ron. We don't need 'em. 654 00:38:20,098 --> 00:38:23,198 Yeah, we never should have, uh, given women the right to vote. 655 00:38:23,268 --> 00:38:25,368 Okay, that's it. 656 00:38:25,437 --> 00:38:27,437 Let's take it easy, shall we? 657 00:38:27,506 --> 00:38:31,676 It's been kind of a long night, what with the gang rape and all. [ Snoring ] 658 00:38:31,743 --> 00:38:34,783 Oh, God. I'm gonna walk Sleeping Beauty back up to his room. 659 00:38:34,846 --> 00:38:38,216 Come on. Okay. I gotta go to the garden party. 660 00:38:38,283 --> 00:38:40,353 Okay, careful. Careful. [ Indistinct ] 661 00:38:40,419 --> 00:38:43,689 Okay. That's good for you. 662 00:38:43,755 --> 00:38:46,425 You guys, uh-- You guys comin', or what? 663 00:38:46,492 --> 00:38:49,362 No, I think I'm gonna stay here, man. 664 00:38:49,428 --> 00:38:52,628 That chick over there is beggin' me for it. 665 00:38:52,698 --> 00:38:57,038 - [ No Audible Dialogue ] - I'm not gonna miss this. 666 00:38:57,102 --> 00:38:59,372 Why would you? 667 00:39:00,539 --> 00:39:04,439 Seth? [ Groans ] 668 00:39:10,248 --> 00:39:12,378 Hi. [ Chuckles ] Hi. 669 00:39:12,451 --> 00:39:14,551 He's, uh-- He's had kind of a long day. 670 00:39:14,620 --> 00:39:17,690 It's definitely past someone's bedtime. Yeah. 671 00:39:17,756 --> 00:39:21,426 Sorry about that. Come on, pal. [ Seth Mumbles ] 672 00:39:21,493 --> 00:39:23,903 Here you go. Oh, geez. [ Laughs ] 673 00:39:27,699 --> 00:39:30,239 So, uh, do you wanna take a picture, 674 00:39:30,301 --> 00:39:33,411 or should I give you a piece of paper so you can sketch them? 675 00:39:33,472 --> 00:39:35,572 Take a picture. Oh, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 676 00:39:35,641 --> 00:39:38,481 I'm from Cleveland, and I was noticing your shirt. 677 00:39:38,544 --> 00:39:42,654 Are you a Browns fan? My father is from Cleveland, so I was brainwashed early. 678 00:39:42,714 --> 00:39:44,954 I'm a Cavs fan, but they're breaking my heart right now. 679 00:39:45,016 --> 00:39:47,146 [ Man On TV, Indistinct ] Aw, come on, LeBron. 680 00:39:47,218 --> 00:39:50,118 Shoot less commercials and more free throws. [ Seth ] Come on, LeBron. 681 00:39:50,188 --> 00:39:54,558 So you're-- you're a big Cleveland fan, huh? Such is my curse. 682 00:39:54,626 --> 00:39:57,096 Well, uh-- [ Snoring ] 683 00:39:57,162 --> 00:39:59,872 He's drooling on me now, 684 00:39:59,931 --> 00:40:04,141 so I should probably go, but it was nice meeting you. 685 00:40:04,202 --> 00:40:08,042 [ Laughing ] You too. All right. Come on, little prince. 686 00:40:08,106 --> 00:40:10,576 [ Seth ] Bye, LeBron. 687 00:40:10,642 --> 00:40:13,552 Hey, it's Mel. Leave a message. I'll call you back. 688 00:40:13,612 --> 00:40:16,552 Hey, babe. Just callin' to say hi. 689 00:40:16,615 --> 00:40:19,315 I miss you. Um-- 690 00:40:19,384 --> 00:40:21,454 Gimme a call whenever. 691 00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:24,420 I'll talk to you then. Love you. Bye. 692 00:40:25,356 --> 00:40:27,486 [ Women Giggling ] 693 00:40:31,262 --> 00:40:33,262 [ Giggling Continues ] 694 00:40:33,331 --> 00:40:36,471 Guten Abend. 695 00:40:36,535 --> 00:40:40,105 - Mmm. [ Chuckles ] - Balls to the wall, Ron. 696 00:40:40,171 --> 00:40:43,981 Yeah, you know, I think I'm more of a couch sleeper. 697 00:40:44,042 --> 00:40:46,482 [ Chuckles ] Auf Wiedersehen, ladies. 698 00:40:46,545 --> 00:40:48,745 [ Muffled Giggling ] 699 00:41:00,759 --> 00:41:04,599 Oh, what is wrong with this guy? 700 00:41:04,663 --> 00:41:07,833 Who walks away from that? 701 00:41:07,899 --> 00:41:10,469 [ Giggling ] 702 00:41:10,536 --> 00:41:13,666 Oh. Oh. 703 00:41:23,214 --> 00:41:25,484 [ Snoring ] 704 00:41:27,485 --> 00:41:30,555 Wakey, wakey, D. Uh, Nacho Bellgrande. 705 00:41:30,622 --> 00:41:32,692 [ Groaning ] 706 00:41:32,758 --> 00:41:34,928 [ Women Giggling ] 707 00:41:34,993 --> 00:41:37,803 Morning, ladies. [ Women ] Guten Morgen. 708 00:41:55,146 --> 00:41:58,146 [ Muttering ] 709 00:42:04,690 --> 00:42:06,860 There is my book. 710 00:42:06,925 --> 00:42:09,655 Oh. I did-- [ Laughs ] Danke schön. 711 00:42:09,728 --> 00:42:13,058 I set a banana on-- It wa-- 712 00:42:13,131 --> 00:42:16,071 It was-- 713 00:42:16,134 --> 00:42:19,674 [ Exhales ] Oh, God. 714 00:42:19,738 --> 00:42:22,668 She wasn't just reading Hitler's manifesto, okay? 715 00:42:22,741 --> 00:42:26,081 She was highlighting it. Those girls are Nazis! 716 00:42:26,144 --> 00:42:29,984 Well, maybe, but they're hot Nazis. "Hotzis." 717 00:42:30,048 --> 00:42:31,418 [ Chuckles ] 718 00:42:31,482 --> 00:42:34,122 [ Groans ] 719 00:42:39,057 --> 00:42:41,627 What the fuck! 720 00:42:43,929 --> 00:42:48,429 Hey. What the hell is this? What? 721 00:42:48,499 --> 00:42:50,969 This. What is this? 722 00:42:51,036 --> 00:42:53,396 - That's your wedding ring. - My what? 723 00:42:53,471 --> 00:42:56,271 Your wedding ring. You got married last night. You don't remember? 724 00:42:56,341 --> 00:42:59,181 - [ Together ] What? - Yeah. After you guys left, 725 00:42:59,244 --> 00:43:02,314 he went over to that little chippie at the bar and they actually hit it off. 726 00:43:02,380 --> 00:43:06,020 Then we went out and had some drinks, did some dancing. 727 00:43:06,084 --> 00:43:10,024 Before you know it, we were in a little chapel in Boca. I was your best man. 728 00:43:10,088 --> 00:43:13,688 You were my best man? You let me marry her? What the fuck! 729 00:43:13,759 --> 00:43:15,929 I was honored to be asked, buddy. 730 00:43:15,994 --> 00:43:18,564 [ Stammers ] 731 00:43:18,630 --> 00:43:20,730 Oh. Okay, guys. 732 00:43:20,799 --> 00:43:23,399 Ha, ha, ha. I've been punk'd. Very funny. 733 00:43:23,468 --> 00:43:25,498 - You're fuckin' with me, right? - Actually, I'm not. 734 00:43:25,570 --> 00:43:29,170 Been waiting all morning to show you your marriage certificate. 735 00:43:31,176 --> 00:43:33,576 Yeah, yeah. Could have got this done at a Kinko's. 736 00:43:33,645 --> 00:43:35,775 Two minutes. Ha, ha. Very funny. 737 00:43:35,847 --> 00:43:37,847 Then there's always the video. 738 00:43:37,916 --> 00:43:41,186 [ Derek Cackling ] I'm gettin' married! 739 00:43:41,252 --> 00:43:45,892 I'm-I'm in love with Sonia Hernandez. 740 00:43:45,957 --> 00:43:48,757 Who's Sonia Hernandez? 741 00:43:48,827 --> 00:43:51,357 That's your new stepmom, twit. Seriously? Again? 742 00:43:51,429 --> 00:43:54,629 Dad, tell me this is a joke. 743 00:43:54,700 --> 00:43:56,870 Look, I don't remember what happened. 744 00:43:56,935 --> 00:43:58,865 You don't remember? What is the matter with you? 745 00:43:58,937 --> 00:44:01,737 Okay, you hold on, 'cause I'm still your father. 746 00:44:01,807 --> 00:44:03,737 Oh, you sure? 'Cause sometimes I don't know... 747 00:44:03,809 --> 00:44:07,149 who's the adult and who's the child. 748 00:44:08,914 --> 00:44:11,524 Thanks a lot, ass. 749 00:44:11,582 --> 00:44:14,292 ** [ Soft Rock ] 750 00:44:16,521 --> 00:44:18,791 [ Knocking ] 751 00:44:28,399 --> 00:44:30,699 Surprise bachelorette party! 752 00:44:30,769 --> 00:44:32,839 [ Screams, Blows Noisemaker ] 753 00:44:32,904 --> 00:44:36,314 Thank you. Hi. [ Chattering, Laughing ] 754 00:44:45,984 --> 00:44:49,394 You know what I love about golf, Ron? 755 00:44:49,454 --> 00:44:53,124 What's that, Todd? It just has so much in common with women. 756 00:44:53,191 --> 00:44:55,361 I mean, the finest, most gorgeous courses in the world... 757 00:44:55,426 --> 00:44:58,626 are also the most expensive and the most difficult. 758 00:44:58,696 --> 00:45:00,726 I mean, sure we like to kick around... 759 00:45:00,799 --> 00:45:02,899 with a shitty little par three now and again-- 760 00:45:02,968 --> 00:45:05,168 Long as our buddies don't see us, right? Mmm. 761 00:45:05,236 --> 00:45:07,466 The beauty of golf is variety. 762 00:45:07,538 --> 00:45:10,038 You don't want to play the same hole every day. 763 00:45:10,108 --> 00:45:12,908 Even if you are playing the backside. 764 00:45:12,978 --> 00:45:15,378 Well, that's, uh-- 765 00:45:15,446 --> 00:45:19,046 That's beautiful, Todd, but I think I'm more of a one-hole kind of a guy. 766 00:45:19,117 --> 00:45:21,417 I'm a three-hole man, myself. 767 00:45:21,486 --> 00:45:23,486 Right. 768 00:45:23,554 --> 00:45:25,564 All right, boys, what do you say we make it interesting? 769 00:45:25,623 --> 00:45:29,033 - Five hundred a man. - Uh, how about we keep it to 100, huh? 770 00:45:29,094 --> 00:45:31,164 - And we play Kennedy rules. - What are Kennedy rules? 771 00:45:31,229 --> 00:45:34,099 Ted Kennedy. All right? Yeah. 772 00:45:34,165 --> 00:45:37,665 You lose a hole, you drink. You hit it in the sand, you drink. 773 00:45:37,735 --> 00:45:39,965 Seth "whiffs" the ball, we all drink. 774 00:45:40,038 --> 00:45:42,438 - I don't even want to play. - Well, you're gonna. 775 00:45:42,507 --> 00:45:45,237 We played at the putt-putt. The rules will transfer just fine. 776 00:45:45,310 --> 00:45:48,310 Fair enough. We're also gonna play Todd rules. 777 00:45:48,379 --> 00:45:50,519 What are Todd rules? 778 00:45:50,581 --> 00:45:53,951 Strip golf. Lose a hole, you lose some clothes. 779 00:45:54,019 --> 00:45:56,959 I told you he was a 'mo. Come on, pay up. 780 00:45:57,022 --> 00:45:59,492 Not us. The caddies. 781 00:45:59,557 --> 00:46:01,827 Oh, and that's less gay how? 782 00:46:01,893 --> 00:46:05,003 Those are our caddies. 783 00:46:18,509 --> 00:46:20,549 Hey, guys. 784 00:46:20,611 --> 00:46:23,921 Hey, Ashley couldn't make it, but her sister is coming. 785 00:46:23,982 --> 00:46:26,052 Oh. Here she comes now. 786 00:46:26,117 --> 00:46:30,287 Sorry I'm late. My bunions are killing me. 787 00:46:30,355 --> 00:46:32,555 I call this one. Wait, wait. She's mine. 788 00:46:37,362 --> 00:46:41,432 Oh, this day just keeps getting better and better. 789 00:46:45,303 --> 00:46:47,313 [ Whistling ] 790 00:46:47,372 --> 00:46:49,342 Yeah. 791 00:46:49,407 --> 00:46:51,437 Oh. 792 00:46:51,509 --> 00:46:54,449 Hmm. 793 00:47:02,553 --> 00:47:05,293 Whoa! 794 00:47:05,356 --> 00:47:07,656 [ Man ] * It could be 10:00 but then again * 795 00:47:07,725 --> 00:47:11,655 * I can't remember half an hour since a quarter to 4:00 * 796 00:47:11,729 --> 00:47:14,469 * Throw on your clothes The second side of Surfer Rosa * 797 00:47:14,532 --> 00:47:16,942 * And then you leave me with my jaw on the floor * 798 00:47:17,002 --> 00:47:19,542 * Hey * 799 00:47:19,604 --> 00:47:21,844 Ah. 800 00:47:21,907 --> 00:47:24,307 * Just when you think you're in control * 801 00:47:24,375 --> 00:47:27,105 * Just when you think you've got a hold * 802 00:47:27,178 --> 00:47:28,808 * Just when you get on a roll * 803 00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:32,020 * Here it goes Here it goes Here it goes again * 804 00:47:32,083 --> 00:47:34,423 * Oh, here it goes again Should have known * 805 00:47:34,485 --> 00:47:36,715 * Should have known Should have known again * 806 00:47:36,787 --> 00:47:38,857 * But here it goes again * 807 00:47:38,924 --> 00:47:41,394 * Oh, oh, here it goes again * 808 00:47:44,629 --> 00:47:47,229 * It starts out easy Something simple something sleazy * 809 00:47:47,298 --> 00:47:50,798 * Something inching past the edge of reserve * 810 00:47:50,868 --> 00:47:54,508 * Now through the lines of the cheap venetian blinds * 811 00:47:54,572 --> 00:47:57,212 * Your car is pulling off of the curb * 812 00:47:57,275 --> 00:48:00,645 - * Hey * - Oh, I can't. No! 813 00:48:00,711 --> 00:48:03,081 * Just when you think you're in control * 814 00:48:03,148 --> 00:48:05,148 * Just when you think you've got a hold * 815 00:48:05,216 --> 00:48:07,216 * Just when you get on a roll * 816 00:48:07,285 --> 00:48:11,015 * Oh, here it goes Here it goes Here it goes again * 817 00:48:11,089 --> 00:48:13,419 * Oh, here it goes again * 818 00:48:13,491 --> 00:48:15,891 All right. 819 00:48:15,961 --> 00:48:18,061 Oh, God. 820 00:48:18,129 --> 00:48:20,669 - Up yours, buddy. - [ Yells ] 821 00:48:20,731 --> 00:48:23,431 - Drained it. - Oh, yes! 822 00:48:23,501 --> 00:48:27,371 * But, Jesus, when it rains how it pours * 823 00:48:27,438 --> 00:48:29,708 * Throw on your clothes The second side of Surfer Rosa * 824 00:48:29,774 --> 00:48:32,314 * And then you leave me Yeah, you leave me * 825 00:48:32,377 --> 00:48:35,707 Fore! [ Todd ] Come back. Come back. 826 00:48:35,780 --> 00:48:37,920 * Oh, here it goes Here it goes Here it goes * 827 00:48:37,983 --> 00:48:39,753 [ Chattering, Cheering ] 828 00:48:39,817 --> 00:48:42,087 [ Laughing ] 829 00:48:42,153 --> 00:48:44,123 * Should have known Should have known again * 830 00:48:44,189 --> 00:48:48,059 - Miss it. - * But here it goes again Oh, here it goes * 831 00:48:48,126 --> 00:48:49,996 - Miss it. Miss it. - * Here it goes again * 832 00:48:50,061 --> 00:48:53,331 - * I should have known * - [ Jason ] Noonan. Noonan. 833 00:48:53,398 --> 00:48:55,728 * Now here it goes again * 834 00:48:55,800 --> 00:48:58,440 [ Jason ] Oh, yeah. That's my boy! 835 00:48:58,503 --> 00:49:02,013 - * Here it goes again ** - [ Cheering ] 836 00:49:05,910 --> 00:49:09,680 [ Cheering Continues ] 837 00:49:11,649 --> 00:49:14,319 ** [ Ends ] 838 00:49:16,821 --> 00:49:18,721 Let me get this right, Ron. 839 00:49:18,789 --> 00:49:21,559 Your smokin' hot caddy asked you to play a 19th hole, 840 00:49:21,626 --> 00:49:23,586 and you said no? 841 00:49:23,661 --> 00:49:26,031 Dude, I'm gonna have to check your balls for gay. 842 00:49:26,097 --> 00:49:28,497 Are you remotely familiar with how monogamy works? 843 00:49:28,566 --> 00:49:30,536 [ Jason ] No! All right, boys, listen up. 844 00:49:30,601 --> 00:49:33,341 - [ Grunts ] - Tonight I got something special planned. 845 00:49:33,404 --> 00:49:35,544 We're going to the biggest party down at the beach. 846 00:49:35,606 --> 00:49:37,906 We're comin' back here and we're drinkin' all night. 847 00:49:37,975 --> 00:49:40,705 All right? Get some rest. 848 00:49:40,778 --> 00:49:42,908 We're goin' balls to the wall. 849 00:49:42,980 --> 00:49:46,080 - Is Seth okay? - He's fine. 850 00:49:46,151 --> 00:49:49,891 I, on the other hand, got way too much exercise. 851 00:49:49,954 --> 00:49:52,094 Ah. Wunderbar. 852 00:49:52,157 --> 00:49:55,627 Mmm. You want? 853 00:49:55,693 --> 00:49:57,603 Nein. All right. 854 00:49:57,662 --> 00:50:00,832 Scaredy cat. Hey. 855 00:50:00,898 --> 00:50:05,068 Can you guys believe this? There's, like, 12 pages of Hernandezes in here. 856 00:50:05,136 --> 00:50:07,336 In Miami? Shocking. 857 00:50:07,405 --> 00:50:12,405 Here's what we'll do, okay? If each of us phones 75-- Right? That should work-- 858 00:50:12,477 --> 00:50:15,147 Wait a minute. Where's-Where's Tommy? 859 00:50:15,213 --> 00:50:18,653 Sonny? Hello? Sonny? 860 00:50:18,716 --> 00:50:21,186 - Hey, hey, you. - Hey. 861 00:50:21,252 --> 00:50:25,062 This is Shawna. Hi. 862 00:50:25,123 --> 00:50:28,293 You think you can take care of her the way you took care of me? 863 00:50:28,359 --> 00:50:31,359 Does the pope shit in the woods? One second. 864 00:50:31,429 --> 00:50:34,199 Alley-oop. 865 00:50:39,104 --> 00:50:42,244 Okay. Did you girls lose a bet or something? Huh? 866 00:50:42,307 --> 00:50:45,077 Daddy's little helper. 867 00:50:45,143 --> 00:50:47,253 Look out, ladies. Here I come. 868 00:50:47,312 --> 00:50:50,822 Your friend-- He's just amazing. 869 00:50:50,881 --> 00:50:53,381 - Eww. - Mr. Amazing is back. 870 00:50:53,451 --> 00:50:55,791 [ Chuckles ] All right. 871 00:50:55,853 --> 00:51:00,763 I'll catch you guys later. Hey, man, gimme the phone book. I'll help you out. 872 00:51:10,868 --> 00:51:13,868 [ Billiard Ball Clacks ] 873 00:51:13,938 --> 00:51:18,208 Autumn, can we do this tonight, at, like, a club or something? 874 00:51:18,276 --> 00:51:22,106 These guys are not here to play bachelorette games. 875 00:51:22,180 --> 00:51:24,150 They're here to feed their drinking problems. 876 00:51:24,215 --> 00:51:26,475 I have everything all set up, 877 00:51:26,551 --> 00:51:28,921 and if you start changing things now, it'll mess everything up... 878 00:51:28,986 --> 00:51:32,486 and we won't get home in time for your surprise-- Okay. 879 00:51:32,557 --> 00:51:34,627 Okay. Okay. 880 00:51:36,594 --> 00:51:38,564 Mm-hmm. 881 00:51:41,999 --> 00:51:44,069 Excuse me. Hi. Hi. 882 00:51:44,135 --> 00:51:47,305 It's my bachelorette party, and, well, I was just wondering... 883 00:51:47,372 --> 00:51:49,412 if you wanted to pay a dollar to, 884 00:51:49,474 --> 00:51:52,214 well, suck a piece of candy off my shirt. 885 00:51:53,778 --> 00:51:56,648 Here's 10, but leave me the fuck alone. 886 00:52:02,119 --> 00:52:04,389 Nice throw, Son. 887 00:52:04,455 --> 00:52:06,915 [ Derek ] Hey, Tommy, it's me again. 888 00:52:06,991 --> 00:52:11,731 Look. I, uh-- I want to apologize for this morning. 889 00:52:11,796 --> 00:52:15,766 It's-It's not your fault that your dad's a fuck-up. 890 00:52:15,833 --> 00:52:20,743 Just call me when you can. I'm worried about you and-- 891 00:52:20,805 --> 00:52:24,735 I-- I love you, okay? 892 00:52:24,809 --> 00:52:27,479 Okay. Bye. 893 00:52:36,187 --> 00:52:39,287 Hey, guy! Little help here? 894 00:52:43,928 --> 00:52:49,428 - Oh! What the hell is wrong with you? - Just wasted a beer. 895 00:52:55,973 --> 00:52:58,643 Hi. Can I have a Jameson on the rocks, please? 896 00:53:02,613 --> 00:53:04,483 Tough day? 897 00:53:04,549 --> 00:53:08,689 Hey! Browns girl. [ Chuckles ] 898 00:53:08,753 --> 00:53:10,563 What, do you live in this bar? Practically. 899 00:53:10,621 --> 00:53:13,091 Tony makes the best mojitos in South Beach. 900 00:53:13,157 --> 00:53:15,057 And it's Eva, by the way. 901 00:53:15,125 --> 00:53:17,295 Hi. I'm Ron. 902 00:53:18,396 --> 00:53:21,326 So, Ron, what's going on? 903 00:53:21,399 --> 00:53:24,269 I am-- I am here for my bachelor party. 904 00:53:24,335 --> 00:53:27,565 Your bachelor party? Oh, well. 905 00:53:27,638 --> 00:53:31,578 That bums me out. I thought you were cute. 906 00:53:34,044 --> 00:53:38,824 Oh, um, thank you. [ Laughs ] I'm, uh-- I'm flattered. 907 00:53:38,883 --> 00:53:42,323 [ Chuckles ] Easy, cowboy. I'm just bustin' your balls. 908 00:53:42,387 --> 00:53:45,857 Hello. I'm engaged too. [ Chuckles ] [ Laughs ] 909 00:53:45,923 --> 00:53:48,793 God, is everyone from Cleveland this gullible? 910 00:53:48,859 --> 00:53:51,629 They have done studies. Yeah, yeah. 911 00:53:51,696 --> 00:53:54,466 So, uh, when is your big day, hmm? 912 00:53:54,532 --> 00:53:56,772 Well, we just started dating a year ago. 913 00:53:56,834 --> 00:54:01,774 So, between you, me and Tony, I'm not exactly in a rush. 914 00:54:01,839 --> 00:54:05,379 I don't wanna make a lifelong mistake. You know what I mean? 915 00:54:07,645 --> 00:54:09,875 Tony, can I have another, please? 916 00:54:14,251 --> 00:54:17,761 ** [ Singing In German ] 917 00:54:20,358 --> 00:54:23,558 ** [ Humming Along ] 918 00:54:25,896 --> 00:54:27,826 Ah, don't kill me! 919 00:54:27,898 --> 00:54:33,398 - Seth! - I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. Whoa. Not fine. 920 00:54:35,306 --> 00:54:39,106 I need-- I need my-- Where's my medication? 921 00:54:39,176 --> 00:54:41,206 I think the fat boy took them. 922 00:54:41,278 --> 00:54:44,318 Oh, that's just great! 923 00:54:44,382 --> 00:54:47,622 Maybe this will help. 924 00:54:47,685 --> 00:54:49,585 Thanks. 925 00:54:49,654 --> 00:54:54,834 Oh. Uh, so, you, um-- You have a really nice-- 926 00:54:54,892 --> 00:54:58,362 You have a really nice voice. What was that song you were singing? 927 00:54:58,429 --> 00:55:03,969 That's a song I used to sing when I was a little girl with my great-grandfather, Adolph. 928 00:55:04,034 --> 00:55:07,714 [ Gagging ] 929 00:55:07,772 --> 00:55:10,712 I'm fine. You said your-- your grandpa who? 930 00:55:10,775 --> 00:55:13,675 My great-grandfather, Adolph! [ Nervous Laugh ] 931 00:55:13,744 --> 00:55:17,684 - He's so sweet. He lives in South America. - Yeah, I bet. 932 00:55:17,748 --> 00:55:19,578 - He calls me every week. - Oh. 933 00:55:19,650 --> 00:55:22,320 And he wants me to go to art school like he did in Vienna. 934 00:55:22,387 --> 00:55:25,417 Oh, art school. That's-- That's fun. Yes. 935 00:55:25,490 --> 00:55:28,760 - But I'm not interested in art. - No. 936 00:55:28,826 --> 00:55:32,856 - I like politics. - [ Laughing ] 937 00:55:32,930 --> 00:55:36,070 Uh, can you-- can you give me, maybe, the whole bottle? 938 00:55:38,503 --> 00:55:40,573 [ Whimpers ] 939 00:55:40,638 --> 00:55:43,238 Two months? I see your friend's point. 940 00:55:43,307 --> 00:55:45,837 What if she turns out to be a serial killer or something? 941 00:55:45,910 --> 00:55:48,850 I was once dated a guy for six months. He turned out to be gay. 942 00:55:48,913 --> 00:55:51,623 - Maybe you made him gay. - Oh, I definitely made him gay. 943 00:55:51,682 --> 00:55:54,752 I used to outdistance him on the driving range by 50 yards. 944 00:55:54,819 --> 00:55:56,989 - Pansy. - You golf too, huh? 945 00:55:57,054 --> 00:56:00,364 Mm-hmm. All right. I totally would have gone gay for you also. 946 00:56:00,425 --> 00:56:04,455 I mean, not without the whole man-- You know what I'm saying. 947 00:56:04,529 --> 00:56:07,629 Well, sir, flattery will get you another drink. 948 00:56:07,698 --> 00:56:11,768 Wait. No, no. I can't. I can't. I can't. I got this, uh, 949 00:56:11,836 --> 00:56:14,266 Beach Blanket Bingo thing to go to here. 950 00:56:14,338 --> 00:56:16,538 Fine. Leave me. I got Tony. 951 00:56:16,607 --> 00:56:18,537 Oh. Well, you've got the world then. 952 00:56:22,580 --> 00:56:24,980 Hey, why don't you come with? 953 00:56:26,784 --> 00:56:29,654 I don't think a girl should crash your bachelor party. 954 00:56:29,720 --> 00:56:32,620 Come on. It's free booze and drunk spring break kids. 955 00:56:32,690 --> 00:56:34,790 What more could you possibly want from an evening? 956 00:56:34,859 --> 00:56:38,499 Plus, we can gab about centerpieces and bridesmaids' dresses. 957 00:56:38,563 --> 00:56:41,933 You had me at "free booze." [ Laughs ] 958 00:56:41,999 --> 00:56:45,769 - I'll see you there, Cleveland Ron. - All right. 959 00:56:50,441 --> 00:56:54,381 Hey, Seth. What's goin' on, man? 960 00:56:54,445 --> 00:56:57,475 [ Sighs ] 961 00:56:57,548 --> 00:57:00,788 Hey, any luck finding Tom? Whoa! 962 00:57:02,352 --> 00:57:04,862 All right. Um, you feeling okay, Seth? 963 00:57:04,922 --> 00:57:08,592 No. I am far from okay. Okay? 964 00:57:08,659 --> 00:57:10,899 I needed my medication, only Jason took it. 965 00:57:10,961 --> 00:57:14,031 So Hitler's granddaughter gave me some of these aspirin. 966 00:57:14,098 --> 00:57:17,768 Only now everything still hurts and I have this! 967 00:57:17,835 --> 00:57:20,135 Is it supposed to curve like that, man? 968 00:57:20,204 --> 00:57:23,274 No! Holy baby arm! 969 00:57:23,340 --> 00:57:27,480 - This is all your fault! - Okay, how is that my fault? 970 00:57:27,545 --> 00:57:31,115 Because you took my codeine, so I took a bunch of your Viagra! 971 00:57:31,181 --> 00:57:35,821 Okay, that's not Viagra, Captain Hook. That's Equine XL. 972 00:57:35,886 --> 00:57:38,156 Wait a minute. What's Equine XL? 973 00:57:38,222 --> 00:57:40,662 It's boner pills for horses. I get it off this veterinary Web site. 974 00:57:40,725 --> 00:57:42,385 Oh, yeah? Yeah, it's awesome. 975 00:57:42,459 --> 00:57:44,359 [ Derek ] I gotta get that site. 976 00:57:44,428 --> 00:57:47,398 They were in an aspirin bottle, you degenerate asshole! 977 00:57:47,464 --> 00:57:51,944 - Well, excuse me for exercising a little discretion. - "Exercising discretion"? 978 00:57:52,002 --> 00:57:55,242 I can't think of two words that have less in common with you... 979 00:57:55,305 --> 00:57:57,735 than "exercise" and "discretion"! 980 00:57:59,510 --> 00:58:01,950 Ouch. That hurt, Seth. 981 00:58:02,012 --> 00:58:05,652 I'm gonna give you something to hurt about, you motherfucker! Come on! 982 00:58:05,716 --> 00:58:07,476 [ Shouting ] [ Screams ] 983 00:58:07,552 --> 00:58:11,292 Whoa, whoa, whoa! All right, all right! Seth, stop. Stop. 984 00:58:11,355 --> 00:58:15,225 [ All Shouting ] 985 00:58:15,292 --> 00:58:17,602 Wet noodle! Wet noodle. 986 00:58:17,662 --> 00:58:19,862 Sorry to interrupt... whatever this is. 987 00:58:19,930 --> 00:58:23,670 The, uh, party starts in about 10 minutes. 988 00:58:23,734 --> 00:58:27,244 So, you know, if you just... finish up soon. 989 00:58:31,408 --> 00:58:35,978 All right, Seth, I think you should, um-- you should go and, 990 00:58:36,046 --> 00:58:40,216 you know, take care of your little... situation. 991 00:58:40,284 --> 00:58:43,394 Yeah? Oh, yeah? [ Jason ] Okay, I got it. 992 00:58:43,453 --> 00:58:46,093 We just, uh, call a little call girl. 993 00:58:46,156 --> 00:58:48,356 No, no, no. 994 00:58:48,425 --> 00:58:51,525 I am not letting some diseased hooker touch me down there. 995 00:58:51,596 --> 00:58:55,026 [ Derek ] We'll get a nice clean hooker to touch you down there. 996 00:58:55,099 --> 00:58:58,869 [ Seth ] Forget it, fellas. All right? Just forget it. 997 00:59:03,574 --> 00:59:07,754 [ Jason ] So, uh, are those capri pants? 998 00:59:07,812 --> 00:59:10,882 They're not capri pants. Capri pants are for women. 999 00:59:10,948 --> 00:59:13,518 Oh. So they're man-pri pants? 1000 00:59:13,584 --> 00:59:17,454 No. Look, they're cropped slacks, okay? 1001 00:59:17,521 --> 00:59:20,191 They're huge in Europe. Huge. 1002 00:59:20,257 --> 00:59:23,157 Yeah, George Michael's huge in Europe too. 1003 00:59:25,029 --> 00:59:27,529 You ever thought of maybe an ankle bracelet? 1004 00:59:27,598 --> 00:59:31,068 Is he gonna be down soon? Yeah. He'll be down in a minute. 1005 00:59:34,371 --> 00:59:37,611 [ Whirring ] 1006 00:59:43,948 --> 00:59:45,948 Be gentle. 1007 00:59:49,586 --> 00:59:52,786 [ Shudders, Laughs ] 1008 00:59:54,692 --> 00:59:57,392 [ Sighs ] 1009 00:59:57,461 --> 01:00:01,701 [ Moaning ] 1010 01:00:01,766 --> 01:00:04,596 - [ Gasps, Speaking Spanish ] - [ Gasps ] 1011 01:00:04,669 --> 01:00:06,599 [ Squishing Sound ] [ Machine Grinding ] 1012 01:00:06,671 --> 01:00:10,271 [ Screaming ] 1013 01:00:13,243 --> 01:00:16,253 [ Chattering ] 1014 01:00:16,313 --> 01:00:19,383 Here you go, ladies. 1015 01:00:19,449 --> 01:00:21,849 Thank you, Flora. [ Chuckles ] 1016 01:00:21,919 --> 01:00:24,389 What are we doing here? Not that I'm complaining, 1017 01:00:24,454 --> 01:00:26,824 but, you know, the odds of being thrown up on... 1018 01:00:26,891 --> 01:00:29,391 by a hardened alcoholic have dropped significantly. 1019 01:00:29,459 --> 01:00:31,599 Speaking of, where's Mom? 1020 01:00:31,662 --> 01:00:34,232 She's, uh, taking one of her "naps." 1021 01:00:37,234 --> 01:00:41,974 [ Doorbell Rings ] Ah. I wonder who that could be. 1022 01:00:47,878 --> 01:00:50,978 What's going on? I don't know. 1023 01:00:53,951 --> 01:00:57,621 Oh, no. It appears we have some sort of water leak. 1024 01:00:57,688 --> 01:01:01,258 [ Chuckles ] The plumber's here! 1025 01:01:15,005 --> 01:01:19,905 Excuse me, ladies. I understand you're having some problems with your plumbing. 1026 01:01:21,712 --> 01:01:24,952 ** [ Dance Rock ] 1027 01:01:43,633 --> 01:01:46,203 [ Grunting ] 1028 01:01:46,270 --> 01:01:51,180 - Okay. - I may have to pull out my special tool for this job. 1029 01:01:53,377 --> 01:01:57,747 Don't you worry. I'm accustomed to working with a lot of pipe. 1030 01:02:00,084 --> 01:02:03,754 Oh, my God! Are those Jimmy Choo's? 1031 01:02:06,323 --> 01:02:09,363 ** [ Continues ] 1032 01:02:11,796 --> 01:02:16,426 [ Gasps ] Flora! 1033 01:02:16,500 --> 01:02:18,740 [ All ] Go, plumber! Go, plumber! Go, plumber! 1034 01:02:18,803 --> 01:02:22,073 Go, go! Go, plumber! Go, plumber! Go, plumber! 1035 01:02:22,139 --> 01:02:25,179 Go, go! Go, plumber! Go, plumber! 1036 01:02:25,242 --> 01:02:27,812 Go, go! Go, plumber! Go, plumber! 1037 01:02:27,878 --> 01:02:30,848 - Go, plumber! Go, plumber! - ** [ Stops ] 1038 01:02:30,915 --> 01:02:32,875 Go, go! Go, plumber! 1039 01:02:35,285 --> 01:02:37,685 What in fuck's name is going on? 1040 01:02:37,754 --> 01:02:41,434 And where did Tommy Tune here come from? 1041 01:02:41,491 --> 01:02:45,001 Mother! It's Mel's bachelorette party. This is the stripper. 1042 01:02:45,062 --> 01:02:47,232 [ Effeminately ] Hi. Love your house. 1043 01:02:47,297 --> 01:02:49,567 Thanks, Sally. 1044 01:02:49,633 --> 01:02:52,903 [ Scoffs ] Jesus, Autumn! 1045 01:02:52,970 --> 01:02:56,710 This guy likes cock more than anyone else in this room. 1046 01:02:56,773 --> 01:03:00,013 - Excuse me, Mother, but we were in the middle-- - But nothing. 1047 01:03:00,077 --> 01:03:03,377 No daughter of mine is going to have a one-man rendition... 1048 01:03:03,447 --> 01:03:06,477 of a Chorus Line for her bachelorette party. 1049 01:03:06,550 --> 01:03:09,850 Oh, really? Well, what do you wanna do that's so great? 1050 01:03:12,089 --> 01:03:16,329 - We'll go to my book club. - [ Chuckles ] 1051 01:03:16,393 --> 01:03:20,063 [ People Chattering ] ** [ Dance ] 1052 01:03:24,234 --> 01:03:27,574 Oh, I'll take that. Definitely don't need that. 1053 01:03:34,011 --> 01:03:36,381 Oh. Thanks. 1054 01:03:36,446 --> 01:03:38,616 You got it? Yeah. 1055 01:03:38,682 --> 01:03:41,992 All right. Gentlemen, to a night we will never forget. 1056 01:03:42,052 --> 01:03:44,252 Cheers. Hear! Hear! 1057 01:03:46,290 --> 01:03:48,190 Oh. 1058 01:03:49,426 --> 01:03:51,396 See ya later, guys. 1059 01:03:53,097 --> 01:03:56,767 Whoa. Whoa. Feeling a little woozy. You all right? 1060 01:03:56,833 --> 01:03:59,843 I think this erection's draining the blood from my brain. 1061 01:03:59,904 --> 01:04:02,344 I'm disgusting. 1062 01:04:02,406 --> 01:04:05,676 Okay, okay. Fair-weather friends, Ron. Those are fair-weather friends. 1063 01:04:05,742 --> 01:04:09,352 I am not gonna let a little pissin' and moanin' ruin your bachelor party. 1064 01:04:09,413 --> 01:04:11,923 All right, brother? Yeah! All right. 1065 01:04:11,982 --> 01:04:15,952 Hang on a second. And off he goes. 1066 01:04:16,020 --> 01:04:18,860 Oh. Well, thank you. 1067 01:04:18,923 --> 01:04:22,233 Really? Does that come with a side of Tampax? 1068 01:04:22,292 --> 01:04:26,902 Not tonight. Tonight we roll V.I.P. 1069 01:04:26,964 --> 01:04:31,274 [ Chattering ] 1070 01:04:33,737 --> 01:04:39,307 If you don't already have someone performing your wedding, I'm also a licensed minister. 1071 01:04:39,376 --> 01:04:42,506 Uh, that would be just lovely. 1072 01:04:42,579 --> 01:04:45,649 ** [ Dance ] 1073 01:04:47,684 --> 01:04:50,894 [ Chattering, Laughter ] 1074 01:04:58,728 --> 01:05:01,628 This is your book club? 1075 01:05:04,701 --> 01:05:07,441 Come on! Go home! 1076 01:05:07,504 --> 01:05:09,844 Nobody likes you. 1077 01:05:09,906 --> 01:05:12,606 For the love of God, take a rest! 1078 01:05:12,676 --> 01:05:15,646 [ Jacuzzi Jets Whirring ] 1079 01:05:24,154 --> 01:05:27,764 So, you guys offer limo service, right? 1080 01:05:27,824 --> 01:05:29,694 The presidential suite. 1081 01:05:29,759 --> 01:05:35,269 Now, bachelorette, I'll bet you're hungry, my dear. 1082 01:05:35,332 --> 01:05:38,972 Would you care for a scone? 1083 01:05:39,036 --> 01:05:40,936 Hi. [ Sighs ] 1084 01:05:41,005 --> 01:05:43,765 Grandma Rose? 1085 01:05:43,840 --> 01:05:46,080 [ Gags ] 1086 01:05:47,644 --> 01:05:50,314 Well, hello, Melinda dear! 1087 01:05:50,380 --> 01:05:56,320 The Japanese have surrendered! The war is over! 1088 01:05:56,386 --> 01:05:58,216 Great-Grandma? 1089 01:05:58,288 --> 01:06:00,418 Would you look at us? 1090 01:06:00,490 --> 01:06:03,930 Four generations together at book club. 1091 01:06:03,994 --> 01:06:06,134 I need a refill. 1092 01:06:06,196 --> 01:06:09,166 ** [ Dance ] 1093 01:06:12,636 --> 01:06:17,336 Come on, baby. Daddy needs a rest. [ Sighs ] 1094 01:06:17,407 --> 01:06:22,247 - Hey, fellas, look, a hot tub! - No, it's-- 1095 01:06:22,312 --> 01:06:24,812 It's closed for maintenance. I'm cleaning it. 1096 01:06:24,881 --> 01:06:27,521 Looks like a clothing optional tub too. 1097 01:06:27,584 --> 01:06:31,024 - [ Jets Sucking ] - [ Groans ] I'm stuck! 1098 01:06:32,722 --> 01:06:35,462 - Excuse me. - Oh, God! 1099 01:06:35,525 --> 01:06:38,195 Looks nice. 1100 01:06:38,262 --> 01:06:42,372 - [ Gasps ] - [ Men Chattering ] 1101 01:06:54,711 --> 01:06:57,081 Well, well, I thought you hadn't made it. 1102 01:06:57,147 --> 01:06:59,277 Sorry, I was just freshening up. 1103 01:06:59,349 --> 01:07:02,449 Oh. You freshen up nice. 1104 01:07:05,322 --> 01:07:09,262 Half now, half after. 1105 01:07:09,326 --> 01:07:12,456 And when you're done, you come party with a real man. 1106 01:07:12,529 --> 01:07:15,099 Sounds great. 1107 01:07:15,165 --> 01:07:17,425 Go get him. [ Pats Bottom ] 1108 01:07:20,637 --> 01:07:25,337 ** [ Hip-hop ] Get it ready! It's time for the hot body dance contest! 1109 01:07:25,409 --> 01:07:29,209 Now, whoever shakes her thing for the crowd and gets the most applause wins $500! 1110 01:07:29,279 --> 01:07:31,979 Are you with me? [ Cheering ] 1111 01:07:32,048 --> 01:07:35,448 Yeah! First up is sexy Kirstie. 1112 01:07:35,519 --> 01:07:38,689 ** [ Dance Rock ] [ Crowd Cheering ] 1113 01:07:43,593 --> 01:07:47,303 Hey, 500 bucks just for shaking your tits? 1114 01:07:47,364 --> 01:07:50,334 You should get in on that, man. You got lovely tits. 1115 01:07:50,400 --> 01:07:52,670 What are they, a full "B" cup? 1116 01:07:52,736 --> 01:07:57,266 Don't you have, like, a lost child and future ex-wife to find? 1117 01:07:57,341 --> 01:08:02,081 You know what? That cut. That cut real deep. 1118 01:08:02,146 --> 01:08:05,176 Is it gay that we're in this hammock together? 1119 01:08:05,249 --> 01:08:08,079 ** [ Continues ] [ Cheering Continues ] 1120 01:08:11,421 --> 01:08:14,821 Looks like her years of tap lessons paid off. Hey. 1121 01:08:14,891 --> 01:08:20,901 Wow. Uh, this is new. Okay. You look amazing. 1122 01:08:20,964 --> 01:08:23,934 I'm-- Are you on next or something? 1123 01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:26,570 I got disqualified. 'Roids. 1124 01:08:26,636 --> 01:08:30,006 Ah, yes. See, I suspected you might be a juicer. 1125 01:08:30,073 --> 01:08:32,683 Mojito? You speak my language. 1126 01:08:32,742 --> 01:08:35,552 Shall we? Ah, yes. 1127 01:08:35,612 --> 01:08:38,222 Excuse me, ladies. May I interest you in a cocktail? 1128 01:08:38,282 --> 01:08:43,152 Oh, yes. I slept with a colored man once. 1129 01:08:43,220 --> 01:08:46,690 - Shh! - He was the milkman. 1130 01:08:46,756 --> 01:08:51,556 Oh, he was so big, and black as night. 1131 01:08:51,628 --> 01:08:56,428 - Okay, Mother. Okay. - He sure delivered the milk that day! 1132 01:08:56,500 --> 01:09:00,340 Okay, uh, if you'll all excuse me. 1133 01:09:00,404 --> 01:09:03,614 I'm gonna go-- I'm gonna check in with Ron. 1134 01:09:06,476 --> 01:09:09,206 Mmm! 1135 01:09:09,279 --> 01:09:12,419 [ Cell Phone Rings ] 1136 01:09:13,783 --> 01:09:18,623 Ooh, Todd. Looks like Ron forgot his phone. 1137 01:09:18,688 --> 01:09:22,458 Oooh, score. All right, ladies. Get lost. Go. 1138 01:09:22,526 --> 01:09:24,356 [ Girl ] Okay. See ya. 1139 01:09:24,428 --> 01:09:28,528 [ Rings ] Ron's phone. 1140 01:09:28,598 --> 01:09:31,238 Hey. Todd? 1141 01:09:31,301 --> 01:09:34,041 Oh, hi, Mel. You know what? 1142 01:09:34,103 --> 01:09:38,283 I would get Ron, but he's a little, uh, indisposed at the moment. 1143 01:09:38,342 --> 01:09:42,982 Is he throwing up? He's-- He's kind of a lightweight. Not exactly. 1144 01:09:43,046 --> 01:09:46,446 Mel, are you sure you want to invite this guy into our family? 1145 01:09:46,516 --> 01:09:48,716 What? 1146 01:09:48,785 --> 01:09:51,485 Listen, Ron has been sleeping with everything in a skirt out here. 1147 01:09:51,555 --> 01:09:55,525 Do you guys have some kind of arrangement or something? Hello? 1148 01:09:57,427 --> 01:10:00,097 Mel? [ Dial Tone Humming ] 1149 01:10:00,163 --> 01:10:03,303 Next stop, corner office! More shots! 1150 01:10:03,367 --> 01:10:05,637 - Ooh! - Shots! 1151 01:10:07,170 --> 01:10:10,540 It doesn't seem like Ron at all. 1152 01:10:10,607 --> 01:10:14,277 It's better you found out now. 1153 01:10:14,344 --> 01:10:18,824 Next time he falls asleep, cut one of his balls off. That'll teach him. 1154 01:10:18,882 --> 01:10:21,292 Not now, Mother! 1155 01:10:21,351 --> 01:10:26,191 I have to see him. Tonight. [ Autumn ] You want to go to Miami tonight? 1156 01:10:26,256 --> 01:10:30,426 I'll call your father. We can take the jet. 1157 01:10:33,797 --> 01:10:36,667 ** [ Dance Rock ] [ Cheering ] 1158 01:10:40,904 --> 01:10:45,714 Ooh-hoo. All right, guys, give it up one more time for Candy! 1159 01:10:48,945 --> 01:10:51,445 All right. Last but certainly not least, 1160 01:10:51,515 --> 01:10:55,345 we have the beautiful... Jason? 1161 01:11:00,189 --> 01:11:03,829 - Oh, my God! - Oh, God. 1162 01:11:05,929 --> 01:11:09,869 - [ Exhales ] - ** [ Dance Rock ] 1163 01:11:11,368 --> 01:11:13,668 [ Man ] Get off the stage, loser! 1164 01:11:25,382 --> 01:11:27,422 Yeah! Whoo! 1165 01:11:27,484 --> 01:11:29,924 [ All Cheering ] 1166 01:11:52,376 --> 01:11:54,576 ** [ Stops ] 1167 01:12:00,650 --> 01:12:02,790 Yeah! Whoo! Yeah! 1168 01:12:04,721 --> 01:12:06,591 [ Emcee ] All right, guys. This is crazy. 1169 01:12:06,656 --> 01:12:11,126 For the first time in club history we have a tie... 1170 01:12:11,194 --> 01:12:14,134 between Candy... [ Cheering ] 1171 01:12:14,197 --> 01:12:18,067 and Jason! [ Loud Cheering ] 1172 01:12:20,437 --> 01:12:24,937 Now, right here, that can only mean one thing. I'm talking about a dance off! 1173 01:12:25,008 --> 01:12:28,038 [ Loud Cheering ] 1174 01:12:28,111 --> 01:12:32,221 You're going down, fatty. Oh, bring it on, sugar tits. 1175 01:12:32,281 --> 01:12:34,051 First up, Candy! 1176 01:12:34,117 --> 01:12:35,917 ** [ Dance ] 1177 01:12:42,125 --> 01:12:44,785 ** [ Latin ] 1178 01:13:05,915 --> 01:13:08,215 [ Loud Cheering ] 1179 01:13:08,284 --> 01:13:12,024 ** [ Dance ] 1180 01:13:38,381 --> 01:13:40,451 Don't get mad, girl. 1181 01:14:10,914 --> 01:14:12,524 [ Gasps ] 1182 01:14:12,582 --> 01:14:15,082 Oh, that is not nice. 1183 01:14:18,722 --> 01:14:21,992 Oh, man, you can't beat that. You can't beat that. 1184 01:14:27,797 --> 01:14:33,397 [ Chanting ] Jason! Jason! Jason! 1185 01:14:33,469 --> 01:14:37,439 [ Crowd Chanting Along ] Jason! Jason! Jason! 1186 01:14:37,507 --> 01:14:41,607 Jason! Jason! Jason! 1187 01:14:41,678 --> 01:14:45,778 Jason! Jason! Jason! 1188 01:14:45,849 --> 01:14:49,989 Jason! Jason! Jason! Jason! Jason! 1189 01:14:50,053 --> 01:14:52,563 Jason! Jason! Jason! 1190 01:14:52,622 --> 01:14:55,562 - [ Cheering Stops ] - [ Gasps ] 1191 01:14:56,626 --> 01:14:58,996 - Yeah! - [ All Cheering ] 1192 01:15:02,832 --> 01:15:04,872 Yeah! 1193 01:15:04,934 --> 01:15:08,844 We have a winner! Big Jason! [ Laughs ] 1194 01:15:16,312 --> 01:15:19,722 I do not know where they are. 1195 01:15:19,783 --> 01:15:24,693 Maybe they took a few groupies back to the hotel or something. [ Laughs ] 1196 01:15:27,691 --> 01:15:30,991 [ Shivers ] Is it me or is it freezing? 1197 01:15:32,629 --> 01:15:35,429 Um, we can go. You-- You wanna go? 1198 01:15:35,498 --> 01:15:38,668 Yeah, let's go. All right. 1199 01:15:49,078 --> 01:15:53,018 Hey, hey. Ron just left with Eva. Perfect. 1200 01:15:53,082 --> 01:15:56,352 Just to be sure, get every hot piece of ass here back to the suite. 1201 01:15:56,419 --> 01:15:59,389 Okay. Hey, what should I tell them? 1202 01:15:59,455 --> 01:16:03,055 I don't give a shit. Get it done or you're gonna be walking back to Cleveland. 1203 01:16:03,126 --> 01:16:05,286 All right? Okay. 1204 01:16:05,361 --> 01:16:09,701 Yeah. Thanks, bro. Man, I've always wanted one of these. 1205 01:16:09,766 --> 01:16:12,966 [ Seth ] Guys! Guys! 1206 01:16:13,036 --> 01:16:15,906 Come here. Oh, thank God. Thank God! 1207 01:16:15,972 --> 01:16:19,882 You have no idea what I've been through. Help me get me out of this chlamydia stew! 1208 01:16:19,943 --> 01:16:22,583 [ Both Groan ] Come on, man! 1209 01:16:22,646 --> 01:16:27,146 I swear to God, if I see any more man junk on this trip, I'm gonna gouge my eyes out. 1210 01:16:27,216 --> 01:16:30,986 Who's the degenerate now? Okay? Get a girlfriend. 1211 01:16:31,054 --> 01:16:33,494 Are you serious? Get a watermelon. 1212 01:16:33,556 --> 01:16:36,686 Are you serious? Hey, come on! 1213 01:16:36,760 --> 01:16:39,930 I-- I think I lost a ball! [ Groans ] 1214 01:16:39,996 --> 01:16:42,426 [ Man ] Hey, fellas, look, a hot tub. 1215 01:16:42,498 --> 01:16:45,568 [ Neck Muscles Cracking ] [ Screams ] 1216 01:16:45,635 --> 01:16:50,335 [ Derek Over Phone ] I'm worried about you, and I love you. Okay? 1217 01:16:50,406 --> 01:16:53,376 Okay, good-bye. 1218 01:16:53,442 --> 01:16:55,912 That was weird. What? 1219 01:16:55,979 --> 01:16:58,249 My dad. We had a fight today... 1220 01:16:58,314 --> 01:17:02,194 and he actually apologized, which is a first. 1221 01:17:02,251 --> 01:17:06,691 Hey, driver, are there any karaoke bars around here? 1222 01:17:06,756 --> 01:17:09,956 [ Girls Chattering Excitedly ] 1223 01:17:13,930 --> 01:17:19,900 Get down here! This guy just invited us to Justin Timberlake's hotel room! 1224 01:17:19,969 --> 01:17:25,209 Congratulations to Jeff for earning his one-year chip! 1225 01:17:33,182 --> 01:17:38,652 And next up, we have Betty who has earned her six-month chip. 1226 01:17:38,722 --> 01:17:40,992 Come on up here, Betty! 1227 01:17:42,258 --> 01:17:45,558 [ Laughing ] 1228 01:17:45,628 --> 01:17:48,628 Excuse me. Is this the Timberlake orgy? 1229 01:17:48,698 --> 01:17:52,938 - Um, no, afraid not. - Sorry. 1230 01:17:57,206 --> 01:18:00,006 Betty? Where are you? Betty? Wait! 1231 01:18:00,076 --> 01:18:05,206 No, don't go! You must avoid your lust triggers! 1232 01:18:05,281 --> 01:18:07,421 [ Girls Screaming ] 1233 01:18:12,588 --> 01:18:14,858 [ Mutters ] 1234 01:18:17,560 --> 01:18:19,400 [ Shouting Continues ] Justin! 1235 01:18:31,808 --> 01:18:35,308 [ Laughs ] Wow. You look tense. 1236 01:18:35,378 --> 01:18:39,978 Uh, yeah, yeah. It's been a tense weekend. Let me ask you something. 1237 01:18:40,049 --> 01:18:44,919 Is a bachelor party the last chance for someone to convince the bachelor... 1238 01:18:44,988 --> 01:18:47,288 that they're making a huge mistake? Is that it? 1239 01:18:47,356 --> 01:18:49,186 I don't know. Are you? 1240 01:18:49,258 --> 01:18:52,028 What? Making a mistake? Yeah. 1241 01:18:52,095 --> 01:18:54,725 I don't know. I-- I don't think so. 1242 01:18:54,798 --> 01:18:59,268 You don't think so? Well, if that's not true love, I don't know what is. 1243 01:18:59,335 --> 01:19:03,165 [ Chuckles ] Okay, well, in your infinite wisdom, 1244 01:19:03,239 --> 01:19:07,779 maybe you can tell me how do you know that your fiancé is the one? 1245 01:19:07,844 --> 01:19:10,314 I never said he was. 1246 01:19:12,681 --> 01:19:14,651 Well, why did you say "yes"? 1247 01:19:14,717 --> 01:19:17,847 'Cause he asked, I guess. 1248 01:19:17,921 --> 01:19:20,991 Look, I'm not the one with the wedding date. 1249 01:19:21,057 --> 01:19:24,457 Life is short and I want to be sure. 1250 01:19:30,066 --> 01:19:33,966 ** [ Dance Rock ] [ All Shouting ] 1251 01:19:35,805 --> 01:19:39,075 [ Chattering ] 1252 01:19:41,911 --> 01:19:43,951 - I love Miami. - Sonny. 1253 01:19:44,013 --> 01:19:46,823 Oh. Hey, Betty. 1254 01:19:46,883 --> 01:19:49,323 So, I've got a few friends that are in need of your expertise. 1255 01:19:49,385 --> 01:19:53,485 - Oh. Well, okay. - All right. Come on, girls. 1256 01:19:53,556 --> 01:19:56,686 Oh. Uh-- Oh. 1257 01:19:56,759 --> 01:20:01,199 I don't know, Betty. I mean, my penis is really tired. 1258 01:20:01,264 --> 01:20:04,774 [ Girls Groan ] Your cock can sleep when it's dead. 1259 01:20:04,834 --> 01:20:07,004 Okay? Yeah, yeah. Yeah! 1260 01:20:07,070 --> 01:20:10,040 - Okay. Yeah, let's do this! - Oh, good! 1261 01:20:10,106 --> 01:20:14,136 Okay, first bedroom on the right. [ Growling ] 1262 01:20:14,210 --> 01:20:18,610 Yeah, I can't wait. Tall. Blonde. You're getting it. 1263 01:20:18,681 --> 01:20:22,851 Here you go. I'm outta here. Witness the sickness! 1264 01:20:22,919 --> 01:20:26,089 Hey. Go get some hair plugs. 1265 01:20:33,062 --> 01:20:35,262 Come on. Where's Ron? 1266 01:20:35,331 --> 01:20:37,801 [ Groans ] 1267 01:20:37,867 --> 01:20:40,537 My God! 1268 01:20:40,603 --> 01:20:44,443 - I know they're sex addicts, but come on! - [ Betty Growls ] 1269 01:20:46,409 --> 01:20:49,449 [ Derek ] You guys seen a kid, huh? Anybody, you seen a kid? 1270 01:20:49,512 --> 01:20:52,622 You seen a kid? 1271 01:20:53,883 --> 01:20:55,783 Hey, Seth. Hey. 1272 01:20:55,851 --> 01:20:59,391 How'd you get out of the hot tub, man? I don't want to talk about it. 1273 01:20:59,455 --> 01:21:02,085 Sebastian and Meat, this is Derek. 1274 01:21:02,158 --> 01:21:06,098 Derek, Sebastian, Meat. 1275 01:21:06,162 --> 01:21:08,132 Have you seen, uh-- seen Tommy anywhere? 1276 01:21:08,197 --> 01:21:10,627 - No, sorry. - Meat? 1277 01:21:12,101 --> 01:21:16,441 All right. Let me know, man. Tommy? 1278 01:21:16,505 --> 01:21:21,575 Well, I'm gonna take the longest shower in recorded history. 1279 01:21:21,644 --> 01:21:24,014 Make yourselves at home. 1280 01:21:29,652 --> 01:21:32,892 ** [ Hip-hop ] 1281 01:21:40,529 --> 01:21:42,629 Tommy! 1282 01:21:44,100 --> 01:21:46,800 Tommy. Where have you been? 1283 01:21:46,869 --> 01:21:51,469 I've been so worried about you. What are you wearing? 1284 01:21:51,540 --> 01:21:56,310 Who's your friend? Dad, this is Sonia Hernandez Murphy. 1285 01:21:56,379 --> 01:22:01,149 Murphy. Okay, okay. Yeah, same last name. Small world. 1286 01:22:01,217 --> 01:22:06,287 Dad, this is the woman you married last night. 1287 01:22:06,355 --> 01:22:09,185 Oh, my God! I'm so sorry. 1288 01:22:09,258 --> 01:22:12,228 I didn't recognize you. You see, last night-- 1289 01:22:12,295 --> 01:22:14,525 You were hammered. [ Exhales ] 1290 01:22:14,597 --> 01:22:16,867 It's so good to see you! 1291 01:22:16,932 --> 01:22:19,042 [ Gasps ] Okay, okay. 1292 01:22:19,102 --> 01:22:23,812 Yeah. Uh, Tommy, can I see you for a sec? 1293 01:22:23,872 --> 01:22:25,842 Excuse me, Sonia. 1294 01:22:25,908 --> 01:22:28,438 How did you find her? 1295 01:22:28,511 --> 01:22:30,981 I checked out a couple karaoke bars. 1296 01:22:31,047 --> 01:22:34,047 What? Karaoke bars? 1297 01:22:34,117 --> 01:22:37,717 Dad, you love karaoke. Mom loves karaoke. 1298 01:22:37,786 --> 01:22:41,916 So do your other ex-wives. So why would number four be any different? 1299 01:22:41,991 --> 01:22:44,691 Now listen. She's an aerobics instructor, 1300 01:22:44,760 --> 01:22:49,870 loves merlot, hates smoking, and her family owns the Miami Dolphins. 1301 01:22:49,932 --> 01:22:53,242 Holy shit. Really? Yeah, she's loaded. 1302 01:22:53,302 --> 01:22:56,412 So don't blow this. Now go talk to your wife. 1303 01:23:00,276 --> 01:23:03,206 Sonia! [ Chuckles ] [ Giggles ] 1304 01:23:17,460 --> 01:23:20,860 [ Exhales ] It's so clean and organized. 1305 01:23:20,929 --> 01:23:22,729 It's so German. 1306 01:23:27,970 --> 01:23:30,170 Whoa. 1307 01:23:33,842 --> 01:23:37,712 Oh, my God. 1308 01:23:37,780 --> 01:23:40,550 Seth! 1309 01:23:40,616 --> 01:23:43,846 - [ Gasps ] Oh, hey. - [ Vibrating ] 1310 01:23:43,919 --> 01:23:47,159 Gerda. Hi. I was... just gonna borrow some Purell. 1311 01:23:48,591 --> 01:23:52,201 No, it's not-- it's not what it looks like. I was-- 1312 01:23:52,261 --> 01:23:54,761 Oh, Seth! No! 1313 01:23:54,830 --> 01:23:58,830 Oh, Seth, yes! Okay. 1314 01:23:58,901 --> 01:24:03,111 Well, I-I-- I've never been married, 1315 01:24:03,172 --> 01:24:07,782 so I don't have a lot of experience with this subject matter. 1316 01:24:07,843 --> 01:24:11,953 But with Mel... 1317 01:24:12,014 --> 01:24:14,654 things just feel right. 1318 01:24:16,185 --> 01:24:19,115 Hmm. Well, 1319 01:24:21,790 --> 01:24:24,390 what about this? 1320 01:24:24,460 --> 01:24:29,800 Does this feel right? Uh-- I, um-- I, uh-- Who needs a drink? 1321 01:24:29,865 --> 01:24:32,235 Yes, let's have a toast. 1322 01:24:32,301 --> 01:24:34,541 Oh, yeah. To life being short. 1323 01:24:36,939 --> 01:24:38,709 Um-- 1324 01:24:56,592 --> 01:25:00,232 Wait, wait, wait, wait. We-- We can't-- We can't do this. 1325 01:25:00,296 --> 01:25:02,666 I know that what I'm doing is right. 1326 01:25:02,731 --> 01:25:06,441 And Mel is the one for me. I'm sure of that. 1327 01:25:07,936 --> 01:25:11,166 And I know that your fiancé... 1328 01:25:11,240 --> 01:25:13,740 is an incredibly lucky man... 1329 01:25:13,809 --> 01:25:18,109 to be marrying an amazing woman like-- like you. 1330 01:25:18,181 --> 01:25:22,551 I'm sorry. Don't. Please, don't apologize. 1331 01:25:22,618 --> 01:25:27,558 Yes, I-I should because I'm-- I'm not getting married. 1332 01:25:27,623 --> 01:25:30,363 And I'm far from an amazing woman. 1333 01:25:30,426 --> 01:25:34,256 But you're a really good guy, 1334 01:25:34,330 --> 01:25:37,400 unlike your buddy Todd. 1335 01:25:40,303 --> 01:25:42,773 [ Chuckles ] What? 1336 01:25:51,714 --> 01:25:54,854 [ Screaming ] 1337 01:25:58,120 --> 01:26:01,060 Jesus! 1338 01:26:01,123 --> 01:26:03,163 [ Gasps ] 1339 01:26:03,226 --> 01:26:07,326 ** [ Dance Rock ] 1340 01:26:07,396 --> 01:26:10,426 - Oh, Seth! Seth! - I'm going to hell! 1341 01:26:10,499 --> 01:26:14,499 I'm going to hell, but it's okay. I'm sorry, Grandma! 1342 01:26:14,570 --> 01:26:16,670 I'm so sorry! [ German ] 1343 01:26:16,739 --> 01:26:20,639 Oh, God! [ Shouting ] Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 1344 01:26:26,649 --> 01:26:29,419 What are you doing here? Where's Ron? 1345 01:26:29,485 --> 01:26:34,285 Sleeping it off on the beach. Mission accomplished. 1346 01:26:34,357 --> 01:26:36,627 Really? Well, I need proof. 1347 01:26:38,160 --> 01:26:40,430 Oh, I've got it. Pictures galore. 1348 01:26:40,496 --> 01:26:43,966 Excellent. Let's see. 1349 01:26:44,032 --> 01:26:46,572 We could do that now, or... 1350 01:26:46,635 --> 01:26:49,735 you and I could celebrate. 1351 01:26:49,805 --> 01:26:52,675 Billy. 1352 01:26:52,741 --> 01:26:54,641 Leave now. 1353 01:26:56,044 --> 01:26:58,284 [ Door Opens ] 1354 01:26:58,347 --> 01:26:59,977 [ Door Closes ] Dut, dut, dut, dut, dut. 1355 01:27:00,048 --> 01:27:02,318 By the way, 1356 01:27:02,385 --> 01:27:04,545 [ Vibrating ] I like to get wild. 1357 01:27:09,525 --> 01:27:12,655 You like to get wild, don't you, Todd? 1358 01:27:12,728 --> 01:27:14,798 Oh. 1359 01:27:14,863 --> 01:27:16,903 ** [ Hip-hop ] 1360 01:27:16,965 --> 01:27:19,065 Hey, fellas. 1361 01:27:19,134 --> 01:27:23,474 [ Crowd Chanting ] Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! 1362 01:27:23,539 --> 01:27:27,009 Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! 1363 01:27:27,075 --> 01:27:30,945 [ Cheering ] [ Boy ] Mazel tov! 1364 01:27:38,787 --> 01:27:40,787 [ Chattering ] 1365 01:27:44,226 --> 01:27:46,156 Where is she going? 1366 01:27:46,228 --> 01:27:49,768 She went home. I told her I'd see her tomorrow at the annulment. 1367 01:27:49,832 --> 01:27:52,232 You're not gonna stay with her? She's perfect! 1368 01:27:52,301 --> 01:27:54,341 I know that, buddy, but I told her... 1369 01:27:54,403 --> 01:27:58,943 I've got a couple of few very important things back in Cleveland. 1370 01:27:59,007 --> 01:28:02,037 That was stupid. She's rich! 1371 01:28:02,110 --> 01:28:06,250 You gotta relax, okay? We're still dating. We're gonna do the long-distance thing. 1372 01:28:06,315 --> 01:28:10,685 I'm not that stupid. Right? Hang on a sec. 1373 01:28:10,753 --> 01:28:12,463 [ Betty ] See, he was wonderful. 1374 01:28:12,521 --> 01:28:14,621 Excuse me, ladies. 1375 01:28:14,690 --> 01:28:17,730 Hi. I, uh-- I hate to ask this, 1376 01:28:17,793 --> 01:28:21,263 but what exactly is Jason's-- 1377 01:28:21,330 --> 01:28:24,730 Uh, Sonny's secret? 1378 01:28:24,800 --> 01:28:27,240 I don't know what to tell you, Rico. It's a God-given talent. 1379 01:28:27,302 --> 01:28:30,212 He's like Mother Teresa. Wait a minute. 1380 01:28:30,272 --> 01:28:33,542 He's like Mother Teresa in the sack? 1381 01:28:33,609 --> 01:28:36,549 Yeah, he is. I just wish he was staying longer. 1382 01:28:36,612 --> 01:28:39,822 There are so many more of us that need to be cured. 1383 01:28:39,882 --> 01:28:42,852 Cured? The only thing that guy could cure is a ham! 1384 01:28:42,918 --> 01:28:46,218 I've been a sex addict all my life. I have tried everything. 1385 01:28:46,288 --> 01:28:51,128 Even electroshock therapy. Nothing worked... until I slept with Sonny. 1386 01:28:51,193 --> 01:28:55,833 It was so-- [ Gags ] foul. 1387 01:28:55,898 --> 01:29:00,568 I don't think I'll ever have sex again! He's an angel. 1388 01:29:00,636 --> 01:29:04,306 [ Chuckles ] Hey, he is an angel. 1389 01:29:04,373 --> 01:29:06,583 Well, thanks, ladies. Yeah, sure. 1390 01:29:09,978 --> 01:29:11,948 He's an angel. 1391 01:29:12,014 --> 01:29:14,524 [ Laughing ] 1392 01:29:15,684 --> 01:29:18,994 Whoo! I am wiped out. 1393 01:29:19,054 --> 01:29:21,994 Man, those chicks were passing me around like the Stanley Cup in there. 1394 01:29:22,057 --> 01:29:26,187 I bet they were, you pathetic-- Sonny Crockett, you're the man. 1395 01:29:26,261 --> 01:29:31,131 Ah, I do my best. Now, I gotta find a little beverage, replenish my fluids. 1396 01:29:31,199 --> 01:29:33,269 [ Laughing ] Yeah. 1397 01:29:33,335 --> 01:29:36,565 I was gonna rip him a new one. 1398 01:29:36,639 --> 01:29:40,439 Sometimes you gotta let your buddies have their little moment in the sun, okay? 1399 01:29:40,509 --> 01:29:43,349 And besides, we're gonna be able to hang this over him forever. 1400 01:29:43,412 --> 01:29:45,512 Oh, yeah. 1401 01:29:45,581 --> 01:29:50,391 Ooh. Mmm, all right. Come on. Let's do this. 1402 01:29:50,453 --> 01:29:53,463 One more thing. What? 1403 01:30:00,395 --> 01:30:02,725 What-- What are you doing? 1404 01:30:02,798 --> 01:30:07,268 Well, you know, Todd, I thought a lot about what you said, 1405 01:30:07,335 --> 01:30:09,905 and you were right. 1406 01:30:09,972 --> 01:30:15,242 - I do want a threesome. - [ Gasps ] I meant two girls, okay? 1407 01:30:15,310 --> 01:30:17,510 Two girls! Okay? 1408 01:30:19,347 --> 01:30:21,647 Come on, buddy. 1409 01:30:21,717 --> 01:30:25,417 Don't you wanna go balls to the wall? 1410 01:30:27,656 --> 01:30:29,956 No, I-I-- I don't. 1411 01:30:30,025 --> 01:30:33,095 ** [ Continues ] [ Chattering ] 1412 01:30:34,630 --> 01:30:37,870 Guess what everybody. I'm free from my penis! 1413 01:30:37,933 --> 01:30:40,173 ** [ Stops ] [ Cheering ] 1414 01:30:40,235 --> 01:30:43,905 ** [ Resumes ] 1415 01:30:43,972 --> 01:30:47,382 I'm totally flaccid. It's great! 1416 01:30:47,442 --> 01:30:49,852 What, did your horse stiffy juice run out? 1417 01:30:49,912 --> 01:30:52,622 Not exactly. 1418 01:30:55,584 --> 01:30:58,154 What are you gonna do with that? 1419 01:30:58,220 --> 01:31:01,820 - Oh. - Seth. [ German ] 1420 01:31:01,890 --> 01:31:05,590 - Rar, rar, rar, rar. - You slept with the Nazi? 1421 01:31:05,661 --> 01:31:10,331 She's a total neat freak, man, just like me. It's like we were destined to meet. 1422 01:31:10,398 --> 01:31:15,638 - Seth, you're a Jew. - A self-loathing Jew. It's perfect! 1423 01:31:20,743 --> 01:31:23,513 Hey, have, uh, you guys seen Ron? 1424 01:31:23,579 --> 01:31:26,749 Oh, God. Oh, God. 1425 01:31:26,815 --> 01:31:29,345 Ron, listen, it's cool. 1426 01:31:29,417 --> 01:31:34,617 Okay, it's cool. I like you. Okay? This is just-- It's not my thing! 1427 01:31:34,690 --> 01:31:37,660 Okay? Shh. 1428 01:31:37,726 --> 01:31:42,356 If this is going to be special, I need it to be silent. 1429 01:31:42,430 --> 01:31:46,030 Oh, God. 1430 01:31:46,101 --> 01:31:51,811 Oh, God, no. No, listen. Listen. [ Whimpering ] 1431 01:31:51,874 --> 01:31:56,084 Hey, Billy, have you seen-- Jesus Christ! What the fuck, Ron? 1432 01:31:56,144 --> 01:31:58,384 What? What? No, it's not what it looks like. 1433 01:31:58,446 --> 01:32:01,476 Todd was trying to break Mel and I up... 1434 01:32:01,550 --> 01:32:04,490 because he was worried I was gonna replace him at Mel's dad's company. 1435 01:32:04,553 --> 01:32:08,523 I don't even want the job, you dumb shit! All I want is Mel. 1436 01:32:08,591 --> 01:32:10,531 [ Muffled Shouts ] 1437 01:32:10,593 --> 01:32:14,303 So in retaliation you decided to rape him? 1438 01:32:14,362 --> 01:32:16,802 I can respect that. 1439 01:32:16,865 --> 01:32:22,295 Hey, fellas, looks like the real party's in here. 1440 01:32:22,370 --> 01:32:24,640 [ Groans ] 1441 01:32:24,707 --> 01:32:27,937 So, is there an agreed upon safe word or what? 1442 01:32:28,010 --> 01:32:30,410 - [ Moans ] - It's not what you think. 1443 01:32:30,478 --> 01:32:32,778 [ Gasps ] 1444 01:32:37,586 --> 01:32:41,656 - Mel. - [ Moans ] 1445 01:32:41,724 --> 01:32:44,564 You are sick. 1446 01:32:44,627 --> 01:32:48,357 I-- No, no, wait! It's not what you think. Todd set me up! 1447 01:32:48,430 --> 01:32:51,670 - Wait, no. Honey! Hey! - [ Gasps ] 1448 01:32:51,734 --> 01:32:54,174 No. [ Groans ] 1449 01:32:57,472 --> 01:33:00,882 What the hell is he talking about? 1450 01:33:00,943 --> 01:33:02,853 Ask him. 1451 01:33:04,246 --> 01:33:06,006 [ Chuckles ] 1452 01:33:08,516 --> 01:33:11,086 Mel! [ Gasps ] 1453 01:33:13,889 --> 01:33:15,659 Mel! 1454 01:33:18,326 --> 01:33:20,696 Hey! 1455 01:33:20,763 --> 01:33:23,433 Wait, wait, wait! Hang on! 1456 01:33:23,498 --> 01:33:26,468 [ Screaming ] 1457 01:33:26,534 --> 01:33:31,374 So he set this whole thing up to get Ron to cheat. Sorry. 1458 01:33:31,439 --> 01:33:35,079 Fuck you. 1459 01:33:35,143 --> 01:33:39,783 - Is this true? - Sweetheart, he's-- he's lying. 1460 01:33:39,848 --> 01:33:42,018 You are so fucking fired, Billy! 1461 01:33:42,084 --> 01:33:45,394 Really, huh? After all I've done. 1462 01:33:45,453 --> 01:33:49,093 He's been skimming off the top for years and sleeping with Angela in Accounting. 1463 01:33:49,157 --> 01:33:51,657 She gave him crabs. I bought the cream. 1464 01:33:51,727 --> 01:33:54,657 - Bullshit! - Bastard! 1465 01:33:54,730 --> 01:33:57,830 Okay, everybody out of the room. 1466 01:33:57,900 --> 01:34:01,170 - Now, Autumn, honey-- - I said out now! 1467 01:34:08,076 --> 01:34:11,076 [ Autumn Shouting ] Angela in Accounting! Baby, I can explain. 1468 01:34:11,146 --> 01:34:15,046 Look at me! You son of a bitch! [ Punches Landing ] 1469 01:34:15,117 --> 01:34:17,647 Mel! 1470 01:34:17,720 --> 01:34:20,190 [ Both Gasping ] 1471 01:34:20,255 --> 01:34:24,255 It's my fiancée. It's all a big misunderstanding. 1472 01:34:24,326 --> 01:34:28,896 Hang on! We're taking a shortcut! [ Screaming ] 1473 01:34:30,699 --> 01:34:33,339 Look out! Look out! [ Horn Honking ] 1474 01:34:33,401 --> 01:34:35,871 [ Shouting ] 1475 01:34:44,446 --> 01:34:47,246 Mel! Mel! 1476 01:34:47,315 --> 01:34:49,885 Take the wheel! 1477 01:34:49,952 --> 01:34:52,592 Mel, let's talk. Leave me alone! 1478 01:34:52,654 --> 01:34:56,394 - [ Gasps ] - [ Screams ] 1479 01:34:56,458 --> 01:34:59,088 [ Crowd Gasps ] 1480 01:34:59,161 --> 01:35:01,431 Ron! 1481 01:35:03,165 --> 01:35:06,365 Ron! Mel! Mel! Mel, listen. 1482 01:35:06,434 --> 01:35:09,104 Listen, listen, listen. Todd thought I was going to take his job. 1483 01:35:09,171 --> 01:35:12,541 He wanted to get rid of me, so he's tried to set me up. He what? 1484 01:35:12,607 --> 01:35:16,777 [ Stammering ] What were you doing in that room? I saw you! 1485 01:35:16,845 --> 01:35:20,645 We were just trying to scare him, that's all! That's all we were doing. 1486 01:35:20,715 --> 01:35:26,245 Mel, you know me. And you know that I love you. And I would never cheat on you. 1487 01:35:27,655 --> 01:35:30,525 Come on. Listen! This-- This weekend... 1488 01:35:30,592 --> 01:35:34,802 I have heard nothing-- nothing but reasons why we should not get married. 1489 01:35:34,863 --> 01:35:37,733 You know, that it's-it's-- it's too soon, 1490 01:35:37,800 --> 01:35:39,730 that marriage is a dead institution, 1491 01:35:39,802 --> 01:35:42,942 that golf is boring if you play only one hole the rest of your life. 1492 01:35:43,005 --> 01:35:45,435 What are you talking about? 1493 01:35:45,507 --> 01:35:47,207 I don't know! 1494 01:35:48,877 --> 01:35:51,277 Look, look. Listen, listen. What I mean is this. 1495 01:35:51,346 --> 01:35:57,216 What I'm trying to say is that no matter what anyone else tells me, 1496 01:35:57,285 --> 01:36:01,455 all I can think about is the next time I get to stare into your eyes. 1497 01:36:01,523 --> 01:36:07,063 And if I get a chance to do that every day for the rest of my life, 1498 01:36:07,129 --> 01:36:09,329 that sounds like a pretty good deal to me. 1499 01:36:13,501 --> 01:36:17,041 [ Crowd Sighing, Applauding ] 1500 01:36:21,109 --> 01:36:24,449 I'm ready to elope. You're ready to-- [ Laughs ] 1501 01:36:24,512 --> 01:36:27,722 I'm sick of this bride-to-be stuff. I'm ready to elope. 1502 01:36:27,782 --> 01:36:31,552 Okay. Are you-- Are you serious? 1503 01:36:31,619 --> 01:36:35,219 'Cause I think Derek actually knows a place that-- that we can-- could go. 1504 01:36:35,290 --> 01:36:40,260 I am-- Actually, I think I know someone who can help us. 1505 01:36:48,170 --> 01:36:53,210 Do you, Ron, take Melinda to be your lawfully wedded wife? 1506 01:36:53,275 --> 01:36:56,275 I do. Do you, Melinda, 1507 01:36:56,344 --> 01:36:59,554 take Ron to be your lawfully wedded husband? 1508 01:36:59,614 --> 01:37:02,324 I do. [ Giggles ] 1509 01:37:02,384 --> 01:37:05,694 Way to go, Ron! 1510 01:37:05,753 --> 01:37:10,193 - Sorry, Mel. - It's okay. 1511 01:37:10,258 --> 01:37:14,898 By the power vested in me and the state of Florida, 1512 01:37:14,963 --> 01:37:16,763 I now pronounce you man and wife. 1513 01:37:16,831 --> 01:37:20,441 You may kiss your bride, bubby. 1514 01:37:27,642 --> 01:37:30,312 Oh, thank God. I'm starving. 1515 01:37:30,378 --> 01:37:33,978 Yeah, I could really go for a pizza. 1516 01:37:34,049 --> 01:37:36,249 You like pizza? 1517 01:37:47,996 --> 01:37:51,426 [ Laughing ] Aloha, welcome! 1518 01:37:51,499 --> 01:37:56,769 Aloha back at ya. Last name Rhodes, checking into the honeymoon suite! 1519 01:37:56,838 --> 01:38:01,278 I'm sorry, ma'am. It appears the honeymoon suite is booked for another party. 1520 01:38:01,343 --> 01:38:04,053 Well, check again. It's my honeymoon! 1521 01:38:04,112 --> 01:38:08,852 Calvin, tell this man you made the reservation in the honeymoon suite. 1522 01:38:08,917 --> 01:38:11,647 Baby, the thing is-- Don't you "baby" me! 1523 01:38:11,719 --> 01:38:14,589 I didn't wait 17 years... 1524 01:38:14,656 --> 01:38:17,856 to not have my honeymoon in the honeymoon suite. 1525 01:38:17,926 --> 01:38:21,456 Hi. Checking into the honeymoon suite. Last name Simmons. 1526 01:38:22,797 --> 01:38:24,897 You-- 1527 01:38:26,168 --> 01:38:28,768 You son of a bitch! 1528 01:38:28,836 --> 01:38:33,106 Hey, you. Small world, huh? 1529 01:38:33,175 --> 01:38:36,175 I'm gonna kill you! [ Screaming ] 1530 01:38:36,244 --> 01:38:38,684 No, get back! Get back! You are nuts! 1531 01:38:38,746 --> 01:38:43,186 Get over here, you son of a bitch! Mel! Mel! 1532 01:38:43,251 --> 01:38:46,621 Get your ass over here! 1533 01:38:46,688 --> 01:38:49,418 You son of a bitch! 1534 01:38:49,491 --> 01:38:54,261 That's my ring! That was my grandmother's ring! 1535 01:38:54,329 --> 01:38:56,829 You little shit! Get away from me! 1536 01:38:56,898 --> 01:38:58,828 You need some therapy, woman! 1537 01:38:58,900 --> 01:39:02,700 ** [ Rock ] 113940

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.