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1
00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:03,137
Max, guess who's
getting a divorce.
2
00:00:03,171 --> 00:00:06,040
Please tell me it's us.
3
00:00:06,074 --> 00:00:09,143
Nope, we'll be together
way past when we should be.
4
00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:11,445
Like The Rolling Stones.
5
00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:15,249
It's Jason and Winona Williams.
6
00:00:15,283 --> 00:00:18,152
Wow, I really thought
those two were gonna make it.
7
00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:22,256
We're talking about those two
sisters who play tennis, right?
8
00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:23,691
Never heard of them,
but there are a lot
9
00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:25,593
of famous people
I've never heard of.
10
00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:28,129
Like that guy who's on TV
sometimes and he's always like,
11
00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:30,664
(babbles)
"Blah, blah, I'm on TV."
12
00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:32,833
Yeah, that's Bill Maher.
13
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,669
Anyway, they're rich,
globe-trotting socialites,
14
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,738
and they want to throw a party
at our dessert bar
15
00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:39,607
to celebrate the collapse
of their marriage.
16
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,809
They celebrate divorce now?
17
00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:45,079
My mom missed out
on, like, 12 parties.
18
00:00:45,113 --> 00:00:47,815
They're coming tomorrow
to see the place, so maybe don't
19
00:00:47,848 --> 00:00:50,084
wear your "Team Satan" T-shirt.
20
00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:53,854
Why, 'cause there's
a stain on it?
21
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:57,191
No, this could be
a $5,000 job, Max.
22
00:00:57,225 --> 00:00:59,693
I was offered
a $5,000 job once.
23
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:02,696
I said, "No way."
24
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:05,833
Come to think of it,
that was Bill Maher.
25
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:08,102
(Peter Bjorn and John)
* Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
26
00:01:08,136 --> 00:01:09,637
(cash register bell dings)
27
00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:14,775
* Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
28
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:20,448
Hey, look,
29
00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:23,384
it's Saddington Bear.
30
00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:27,321
Oof, unlike torrential rain,
31
00:01:27,355 --> 00:01:30,591
this jacket does not
repel insults.
32
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:32,526
I have to go check the drains.
33
00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:34,128
Oh, if you find
my love life down there,
34
00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:36,530
bring it back to me.
35
00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:39,400
Han, the hurricane
ain't coming, man.
36
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:42,870
My body always knows when
a disaster is on its way.
37
00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:45,273
It predicted the '97 El Niño
38
00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:48,342
and my third wife, Diane.
39
00:01:48,376 --> 00:01:50,478
That's true,
and when he gets chest pains,
40
00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:51,745
it means it'll be
partly cloudy.
41
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:55,249
No, that's a heart attack.
42
00:01:55,283 --> 00:01:58,352
Shortness of breath
means partly cloudy.
43
00:01:58,386 --> 00:02:01,289
Pardon me if I don't
just blindly trust Earl.
44
00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:02,690
He voted for Richard Nixon,
45
00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:05,293
this year.
46
00:02:05,326 --> 00:02:07,895
Man, he's gonna get us
out of Vietnam.
47
00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:10,631
Well, I'm not taking
any chances.
48
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:12,433
This may come as a shock to you,
49
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,768
but this diner is all I have!
50
00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,637
Not true.
51
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,706
You also have
tiny arms and legs.
52
00:02:21,609 --> 00:02:24,912
Oh, look, a Minion.
53
00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:26,747
Hey, everybody!
54
00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:33,321
Look, it's me,
my Barbara, and my manny.
55
00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:34,855
Yeah, Oleg and I
56
00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:37,425
hired him to help
with Baby Babs.
57
00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:39,293
You know, in Poland,
58
00:02:39,327 --> 00:02:42,263
a manny has to have
his penis removed.
59
00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:43,264
Yeah.
60
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:46,400
But here, he gets to keep it!
61
00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:48,936
I'm Max, this is my
first time meeting a manny.
62
00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:51,305
I mean, a lot of men watched me
when I was a teenager,
63
00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:54,275
but they paid me.
64
00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:55,809
Shane!
65
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:58,312
I'm not just paying you
to stand around.
66
00:02:58,346 --> 00:03:00,714
Well, at least burp one of us.
67
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,286
Isn't that the sweetest?
68
00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:06,954
My wife, my baby,
69
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:10,291
and the man with a lady's job.
70
00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:13,327
You're not nervous
your manny is, you know,
71
00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:15,429
extremely good-looking,
72
00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:16,830
and you're, well...
73
00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:19,233
Hung?
74
00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:20,634
He's not good-looking.
75
00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:23,371
His eyebrows don't even
meet in the middle.
76
00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:27,308
Sophie didn't want
to hire a woman because
77
00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:28,742
I walk around naked a lot,
78
00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:30,578
and I'm, well...
79
00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:32,913
The grossest?
80
00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:35,749
A stink machine?
81
00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:37,718
Girls, my wife is here.
82
00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:39,753
Stop flirting with me.
83
00:03:41,489 --> 00:03:42,990
Max, are you gonna
go out with Shane?
84
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:45,593
Because he's staring at you.
85
00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:49,363
Unless he's trying really hard
to read that sign.
86
00:03:49,397 --> 00:03:51,599
Uh, I'm already
in a relationship
87
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,467
with Randy, remember him?
88
00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:56,337
'Bout yay tall, yay wide,
yay long.
89
00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:58,872
I know how "yay long."
It's your screensaver.
90
00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:01,609
But, uh, didn't you guys
break up?
91
00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:02,610
(incredulous laugh)
92
00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:05,012
(scoffs)
93
00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:08,749
You are so naive, mi amigo.
94
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:12,019
This is all part
of me and Randy's dance.
95
00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:13,421
I say we should break up,
96
00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:14,955
and he says
it's definitely over,
97
00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:18,892
so we're still
very much together.
98
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:20,628
I know I've been out
of the game awhile,
99
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:21,895
but that makes less sense
100
00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:24,765
than dress Crocs.
101
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,534
I didn't ask your opinion
when I bought them,
102
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,636
and I'm not asking for it now.
103
00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:29,903
And this is
the part of the dance
104
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,805
where he shows up
and surprises me.
105
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:33,774
Damn it,
I should have worn my Crocs.
106
00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:34,908
(laughs)
107
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:36,510
Awful news!
108
00:04:36,544 --> 00:04:38,912
I was unable to fix the drains!
109
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:40,381
Turns out,
110
00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:43,451
we don't have any!
111
00:04:43,484 --> 00:04:44,818
We need to protect ourselves.
112
00:04:44,852 --> 00:04:46,820
I'll be outside,
filling sandbags.
113
00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:49,022
Anyone who wants to help,
follow me.
114
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:54,828
No one's behind me,
are they?
115
00:04:54,862 --> 00:04:58,298
Nope, just the shadow
of a child holding a lantern.
116
00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:01,335
Oh, you know what, Shane?
117
00:05:01,369 --> 00:05:03,571
I'm bored.
118
00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:05,606
Now, come on,
let's go back to the apartment.
119
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:08,542
And you can walk on my back
while Barbara naps.
120
00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:11,679
You know, like mannies do.
121
00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:13,080
Bye.
122
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:15,416
Let's go!
123
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:19,019
(upbeat rock music)
124
00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:21,088
Where are Jason and Winona?
125
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,823
They need to get here
before the storm does
126
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:24,592
and my hair frizzes.
127
00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:27,428
Well, Randy better get here
before the storm too.
128
00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:28,696
(cell phone chimes)
Ooh, this could be him!
129
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:30,431
(scoffs)
Damn it.
130
00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:33,501
The one time I don't
want a text from Chili's.
131
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:34,835
Although they're
practically giving away
132
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:37,871
these sizzling fajitas.
133
00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:39,006
CAROLINE: (gasps)
134
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:40,508
Jason and Winona!
You made it.
135
00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,109
I was worried
something horrible happened,
136
00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:43,577
like you got
caught in the storm
137
00:05:43,611 --> 00:05:45,979
or you got back together!
138
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:49,049
(both laugh)
139
00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:50,918
I think it has to be
below zero
140
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:52,786
for hell to freeze over.
141
00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:55,489
And we should know.
We've been to the Arctic.
142
00:05:55,523 --> 00:05:57,791
He murdered a penguin.
143
00:05:57,825 --> 00:06:00,861
It was an accident!
144
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:02,896
If it was the penguin
from Happy Feet,
145
00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:05,165
you'll pay for that
with your life, my friend.
146
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:06,734
That's Max.
147
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,636
She thinks cartoon characters
are real.
148
00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:09,903
I'm Caroline Channing.
149
00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:11,505
And she thinks
Matthew McConaughey
150
00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:14,074
actually loves driving
a Lincoln.
151
00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:16,143
Why would he endorse that?
He doesn't need the money.
152
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:18,011
End of story.
153
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,748
Ugh.
This place is so cute.
154
00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:21,949
Almost as cute
155
00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:24,017
as the mud hut in Borneo
where I realized
156
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:26,019
I didn't love you.
157
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:28,789
That was five years ago.
158
00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,924
Okay, maybe save that
for the toast?
159
00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:33,060
Here's some of the themed drinks
we're working on.
160
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:36,630
Almost Single Malt Scotch.
161
00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:38,899
Resent-Mint Chocolate Chip
Cookie Shooters.
162
00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:40,501
Still debating the
163
00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:43,637
"Tequila" Him Would Have
Been Easier shots.
164
00:06:43,671 --> 00:06:45,773
(wind whooshes)
165
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,641
Oh, hate to break
this meeting up,
166
00:06:47,675 --> 00:06:49,510
but I think my boyfriend's here.
167
00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:50,578
(wind whooshes)
168
00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:55,783
Yeah, he doesn't like
to bother me when I'm working.
169
00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:58,552
Well, maybe I should get going
before the weather gets too bad.
170
00:06:58,586 --> 00:07:01,522
I have a date I should have
gone on five years ago.
171
00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:03,957
Oh, I bet it's not even raining.
172
00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:08,762
(thunder rumbling)
173
00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:13,934
See?
Just a little sprinkle.
174
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:17,538
You wear a bra?
175
00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:20,874
The hurricane is headed
right for Williamsburg.
176
00:07:20,908 --> 00:07:22,943
Fedoras are
blowing down the streets.
177
00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:25,078
Craft beers
are spilling everywhere.
178
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:28,682
And indie bands
are cancelling practice.
179
00:07:28,716 --> 00:07:30,250
Sorry, girls,
I guess Shakira was wrong.
180
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,219
My hips do lie.
181
00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:34,688
This explains why
Randy isn't here yet.
182
00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:36,824
He's probably
stuck in the storm.
183
00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:38,592
Max, you're being delusional.
184
00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:41,729
And I know that
because I'm delusional.
185
00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:43,697
Han, I have to get home.
186
00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:45,032
Sophie's alone with the manny
187
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:47,701
and she gets turned on
by bad weather.
188
00:07:47,735 --> 00:07:49,036
It's true.
189
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:51,104
Last time it snowed,
we made out a little bit.
190
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:54,241
Her favorite porno
is The Perfect Storm,
191
00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:58,712
even with Diane Lane's
horrible Boston accent.
192
00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:00,247
Oleg, no, it's too dangerous.
193
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,182
Yeah, it is.
Han, go with him.
194
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:07,220
(lighting crackling)
195
00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:19,032
Even the wind pushes Oleg away.
196
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:21,769
(lightning crackling)
197
00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:26,006
(panting)
198
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:28,075
That's my worst experience
being blown
199
00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,910
since I got caught
in the hand dryer
200
00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:31,612
in the ladies' washroom.
201
00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:33,647
(electricity sputters)
202
00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:36,183
Oh, no.
Everyone into the walk-in.
203
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:37,284
Ugh.
204
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:38,752
Well, I guess we're stuck here.
205
00:08:38,786 --> 00:08:40,554
Another hostage situation.
206
00:08:40,588 --> 00:08:41,755
Just like our honeymoon.
207
00:08:41,789 --> 00:08:42,756
JASON: Oh, you loved Tehran.
208
00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:44,758
(lightning crackling)
209
00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:47,628
CAROLINE: So do you guys
want to see a sample menu?
210
00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:49,329
Max, light a match
so they can see.
211
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,765
MAX: Give me a sec.
I'm looting the register.
212
00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:52,900
Sorry, it's a reflex.
213
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:54,602
*
214
00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:58,806
*
215
00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:01,775
Should we eat all the food
before it expires?
216
00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:04,111
Two years ago.
217
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:06,680
This is the safest place
in the building.
218
00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:09,082
This used to be
my gift-wrapping suite.
219
00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:11,318
I mean, man cave.
220
00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:14,788
Am I sitting on
a sack of potatoes?
221
00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:17,725
Nope.
Just my prostate.
222
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,927
So sorry for the inconvenience.
223
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,829
Can I offer you
some pinto beans?
224
00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:22,963
A tub of slaw?
225
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:25,666
Mouse skeleton?
226
00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:28,001
Well, it does remind me
of that time in the rainforest
227
00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:29,737
when we stole that tribe's food
228
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:31,104
and they hung us up
from our genitals.
229
00:09:31,138 --> 00:09:33,140
WINONA: Oh, yeah.
230
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:34,942
Oh, you looked so cute that day.
231
00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:37,978
-(chuckles)
-All upside down and screaming.
232
00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:39,079
Stop.
(both giggling)
233
00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:41,381
"Upside down and screaming"?
234
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:42,883
Oh, that's it.
235
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,618
I'm FaceTiming Sophie
to make sure
236
00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:46,987
her storm door
is sealed shut.
237
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,822
(phone trills, hums)
238
00:09:48,856 --> 00:09:50,390
Sophie.
239
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:53,827
For once I'm grateful
you have all your clothes on.
240
00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:55,095
Although...
241
00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:57,030
stay focused, Oleg.
242
00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:58,966
Hey, Oleg.
243
00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:02,870
Yeah, we're fine, I was just
reading Barbara her horoscope.
244
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:06,707
Now she's about to find out
who her true friends are.
245
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:10,010
Yeah, oh, and tell the girls
that we brought Chestnut in.
246
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:11,278
"We"?
247
00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:18,652
What happened to his shirt?
248
00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:19,787
Chestnut's?
249
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:22,155
Well, I took it off.
He was warm.
250
00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:24,124
No, Sophie, the manny.
251
00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:26,293
His nipples are staring at me.
252
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:27,995
Well, what do you think
happened to it?
253
00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:31,164
He spilled his wine--
hey, Oleg, I gotta hang up.
254
00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:34,902
We gotta close the windows.
It's a perfect storm out there.
255
00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:36,870
SOPHIE: Yeah, I think I am
gonna get up there
256
00:10:36,904 --> 00:10:39,773
on that horse
bareback with you.
257
00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:41,308
(call disconnects)
258
00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:42,910
"Perfect storm"?
259
00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:45,012
Oh, no, this is terrible.
260
00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:47,180
There's wine.
There's a storm.
261
00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:48,448
There's a horse in the mix.
262
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:51,184
The sexual possibilities
are dizzying!
263
00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:52,085
Wine?
264
00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:53,787
Ooh, that reminds me.
265
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,057
Oh, sorry.
We're out of wine.
266
00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:58,759
Who wants a
Capri Sun and vodka?
267
00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:00,227
(laughs)
Scratch that.
268
00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:02,930
Who doesn't want
a Capri Sun and vodka?
269
00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:05,899
What am I gonna do?
270
00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:09,803
I have travel Scattergories
in my emergency backpack.
271
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:12,439
Perhaps we roll
an F for fun?
272
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:15,342
Perhaps we roll you outside
for fun?
273
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:20,113
Oof, so much for the community
coming together during a crisis.
274
00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:22,182
Oh, what's the bathroom policy
around here?
275
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:23,951
Just go anywhere?
276
00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:25,052
(lightning crackling)
277
00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:26,219
(electricity sputters)
278
00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:28,956
Oh, no, no,
this is not good.
279
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:32,025
My diner is more screwed
than Sophie right now.
280
00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:36,063
Too soon?
281
00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:37,097
(electrical clank)
282
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:39,232
CAROLINE: (yelps)
Hold me!
283
00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:40,968
HAN: Just so you know,
284
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:44,337
that is a flashlight
in my pocket.
285
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,372
*
286
00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:51,111
(thunder rumbling)
287
00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:54,948
Are we gonna talk about
what happened?
288
00:11:54,982 --> 00:11:56,483
Max, please tell me
they make
289
00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:59,486
really, really small
flashlights
290
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:01,721
that move on their own.
291
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,258
Do you want me to lie to you
292
00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:09,029
or do you want me to tell you
that was Han's penis?
293
00:12:10,798 --> 00:12:12,365
Wow.
294
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:16,436
Caroline and Han are
really getting at it over there.
295
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:18,438
This storm is
turning people on
296
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:21,374
more than alcohol
and low self-esteem.
297
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:24,011
Even Han got some action.
298
00:12:24,044 --> 00:12:26,546
I don't hold hands and tell.
299
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:31,051
Or maybe I do.
This is kind of a first.
300
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,285
I could tell.
301
00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:35,188
Your thumb was
all over the place.
302
00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:37,090
I hope that was your thumb.
303
00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:40,127
That's it.
304
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,995
I can't risk Sophie being alone
305
00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:44,297
with the Elephant Manny
any longer.
306
00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:47,434
Even a 2 like him looks like
a 5 in this bad weather,
307
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:50,270
and Sophie has a thing
for 5s.
308
00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:51,905
If I die, Max,
309
00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:55,075
you know what strippers
I want at my funeral.
310
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:58,445
Yep, same ones
I want at mine.
311
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,881
I want Bagpipes
at my funeral.
312
00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:04,551
She'll be expecting
your call.
313
00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:07,354
The sexual tension
is rising.
314
00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:12,092
This is turning into a real
"will we or won't we?"
315
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,428
We won't.
316
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,430
We can't!
317
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,199
(both panting)
318
00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:20,901
You know what I've
always wanted to do?
319
00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:22,602
Have a "getting back together"
party?
320
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,472
Same price,
less Adele on the playlist.
321
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:26,907
No.
322
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:29,176
You know.
We should...
323
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:30,944
BOTH: Drive through Syria!
324
00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:32,245
-(laughs)
-(squeals)
325
00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:34,047
Syria?
326
00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:36,583
Is that a new
Middle Eastern fast-food place?
327
00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:37,918
(blows raspberry)
328
00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:40,888
Baba ghano-thank-you.
329
00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:44,624
Syria sounds beautiful.
330
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,860
Let us throw
your going-away party.
331
00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:48,595
And birthdays coming up?
Graduations?
332
00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:52,065
Quinceañeras?
Just 'cause?
333
00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:53,633
Why almost die in Syria
334
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,936
when we could be
out there right now
335
00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:57,604
almost dying in a hurricane?
336
00:13:57,637 --> 00:14:02,642
Oh, there's the woman
my family forced me to marry.
337
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,644
Every second we're in here
is second we're not
338
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,247
risking getting electrocuted
by downed power lines.
339
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,281
We'll see you guys later.
340
00:14:08,315 --> 00:14:09,482
(hearty laugh)
341
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,251
Wha--
we do funerals.
342
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:12,485
Wakes, shivas, too.
343
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:15,388
Tell your captors.
(door shuts)
344
00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:17,024
Unbelievable.
345
00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:18,358
I'm so bad at relationships,
346
00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:21,094
I can't even
make a divorce work.
347
00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:22,429
I'll give you some pointers.
348
00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:28,268
First rule, have sex
with her big-mouthed sister.
349
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:30,904
I'm gonna see if Randy
posted anything on Snapchat
350
00:14:30,938 --> 00:14:32,439
about his travels.
351
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:35,008
I know what you're thinking,
and you're wrong.
352
00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:38,111
He is not in LA,
enjoying the sunshine.
353
00:14:38,145 --> 00:14:40,647
Hey, I'm here in sunny LA,
354
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,649
just about to take
my dog for a walk.
355
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:45,185
You know, people are saying
we're starting to look alike.
356
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,419
RANDY: Thoughts?
357
00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:52,993
Because to tell you the truth,
I don't really see it.
358
00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:54,194
Although I have been
359
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:57,564
peeing on fire hydrants
more than usual.
360
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,668
You know what?
(blows raspberry)
361
00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:03,270
I am calling him.
362
00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:04,537
He wants me to.
363
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:07,007
You saw the look on his snout.
364
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,076
You're acting more mixed-up
than me.
365
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:13,613
And yesterday I ordered
a cheeseburger from an ATM.
366
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:18,051
And I gotta say,
it wasn't bad.
367
00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:20,487
He's not answering, and it's
going straight to voicemail.
368
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,222
(gasps)
Maybe Snapchat got it wrong
369
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:23,223
and he's on a plane.
370
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:26,359
He probably blocked you.
371
00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:28,128
Right, baby?
372
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,632
Give me your phone.
373
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:34,434
(line trilling)
RANDY: Hello?
374
00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:37,470
(phone hums)
It went through and he answered.
375
00:15:37,504 --> 00:15:40,173
'Cause it wasn't my phone.
He did block me.
376
00:15:40,207 --> 00:15:42,175
Max, I'm sorry.
377
00:15:42,209 --> 00:15:44,511
We're really broken up.
378
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:46,980
Don't feel too bad.
379
00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:50,283
From what I saw,
he had kind of a dog face.
380
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:52,519
Ooh-ooh.
381
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:54,054
My hips think that
382
00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:55,488
the storm is over, y'all.
383
00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:58,758
Why don't you go
check for flooding, old man?
384
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:02,362
Just like you did for Noah.
385
00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:06,066
Sorry, that's the cockiness
of my new relationship talking.
386
00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:07,600
We should all go.
387
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:10,470
None of us have anything left
to live for anymore anyway.
388
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:12,639
Uh, excuse me,
I have plenty--
389
00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:14,507
okay, you're right, let's go.
390
00:16:14,541 --> 00:16:17,110
*
391
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:24,151
*
392
00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:26,353
Yes!
Yes, it's okay.
393
00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:27,620
Wow.
394
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,489
I guess the hurricane
looked us up on Yelp
395
00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:32,225
and stayed the hell away.
396
00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:33,793
It survived the storm!
397
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,528
My diner's alive.
398
00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:39,499
Yeah, parts of it have
chased me around the kitchen.
399
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:42,535
I love how you're funny.
400
00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:45,672
The storm is gone.
My body got it right.
401
00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:48,608
Now, if it could only
pump blood on its own.
402
00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:51,511
Great.
403
00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:52,779
Oleg survived too.
404
00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:56,183
(blows raspberry)
This hurricane sucked.
405
00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:57,384
I made it home,
406
00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,719
but Sophie and the manny
were gone.
407
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:02,289
And I could tell by the look
in Chestnut's eyes
408
00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:05,192
and the wine on his mane
that they're not coming back.
409
00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:11,364
Oh--Oleg,
you're here!
410
00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:16,803
Sophie,
411
00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:18,338
you're here.
412
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:21,141
Oh, I was so worried.
What happened?
413
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:23,076
To my churro?
414
00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:25,545
Well, yeah, it got wet.
415
00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:27,180
Oh, Oleg,
416
00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:30,150
I didn't want to be
in the hurricane without you.
417
00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:32,619
And I didn't want
anyone to be in you
418
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:33,686
without me.
419
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,288
Oh.
420
00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:38,091
Don't be silly.
We're family now.
421
00:17:38,125 --> 00:17:41,161
Plus, the storm
got me all horned up.
422
00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:42,829
Confession:
423
00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:45,598
I'm not just wet
from the storm.
424
00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:47,300
Oh, my God,
425
00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:50,603
does this guy always know
what to say or what?
426
00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:54,707
Oh, Oleg,
let's go home.
427
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:56,776
I love happy endings.
428
00:17:56,809 --> 00:18:00,313
Oh, well,
if Barbara's sleeping,
429
00:18:00,347 --> 00:18:02,382
I might be able to
give you one on the way home.
430
00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:08,188
Caroline,
431
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:10,623
we need to talk about
what happened in there.
432
00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:12,525
Okay, but do I have to be here?
433
00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:16,329
Look, I've been thinking
that sometimes
434
00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:19,199
crazy weather makes
you do crazy things.
435
00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:20,900
Yeah, I just listened to
Sophie and Oleg talk
436
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:23,203
for like an hour.
437
00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:26,339
I--I guess what
I'm trying to say is
438
00:18:26,373 --> 00:18:27,674
we're Dones-ville.
439
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:28,741
Han.
440
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:29,842
Shh.
441
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:34,514
No, no.
442
00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:35,748
Don't beg.
443
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,884
This is hard enough
as it is.
444
00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:39,352
But...
445
00:18:39,386 --> 00:18:41,188
keep that chin up.
446
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:44,624
You'll find someone.
447
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:46,893
I recommend the Internet.
448
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:48,295
Thanks, Han.
449
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:50,129
It was fun while
it never started.
450
00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:55,835
Max, I hate
seeing you like this.
451
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:57,304
You know what?
452
00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:59,172
Maybe Randy only
blocked you because--
453
00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:01,241
Because he didn't want to
ruin the surprise of him
454
00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:02,342
coming here to see me?
455
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:06,379
All right.
Yep. Sure.
456
00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:08,315
I'm gonna check
his Snapchat again.
457
00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:10,517
Not now, Max.
Let's go hug our dessert bar.
458
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:13,420
It was probably so scared.
459
00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:15,855
Hey!
I'm running 'cause I'm late.
460
00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:18,558
Gotta get to New York--
461
00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:20,260
(gasps)
Great, his story cut off.
462
00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:21,394
But you were right!
463
00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:22,695
I was?
464
00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:24,297
Ooh, it unfroze.
465
00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:27,033
Philharmonic
at the Hollywood Bowl.
466
00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:32,539
Well, that's it.
467
00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:33,940
He's not coming to New York.
468
00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:35,675
I have to face reality.
469
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:39,178
He's bowling in LA
with his buddy Phil.
470
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:42,949
*
471
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:44,317
(gasps)
472
00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:45,618
Oh, my God!
473
00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:46,953
Cray, right?
474
00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:50,423
I didn't even know
Randy liked bowling.
475
00:19:50,457 --> 00:19:51,858
No, Max, look!
476
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:57,464
Is that tree new or
has it always been there?
477
00:19:57,497 --> 00:20:00,567
I know the condom
stuck to it hasn't.
478
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:04,637
The diner is fine,
but our beautiful dessert bar
479
00:20:04,671 --> 00:20:06,973
gets hit by the hurricane?
480
00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:08,308
But...
481
00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:10,843
your hair looks good
right now.
482
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:12,479
Just "good"?
483
00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:15,515
I'm calling Han.
484
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:18,518
I weirdly feel like
I need him now.
485
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:21,854
It's going
straight to voicemail.
486
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:24,391
(gasps) Han!
I was just trying to call you.
487
00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:26,559
Yeah, I blocked you.
488
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,896
I just can't go there
right now.
489
00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:34,734
Caroline, don't cry.
490
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:36,903
We have insurance.
Right?
491
00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:39,005
I don't listen to 100%
of what you say.
492
00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:41,741
We'll be fine.
493
00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:44,544
I just think
blocking a person is mean.
494
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:47,914
*
495
00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:49,716
(cash register bell dings)
496
00:20:52,051 --> 00:20:55,021
(upbeat rock music)
497
00:20:55,054 --> 00:21:01,961
*
34386
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