Original subtitles

Previously on RuPaul's Drag Race...

You'll be performing the song Phenomenon.

♪ Drag is all over the world ♪

♪ It's a phenomenon ♪

Rosé.

Your voice is beautiful.

Denali.

I couldn't take my eyes off you.

You're a winner, baby.

The rest of you are safe.

But starting next week, heads will roll.

Girl, the winner's circle is here

waiting for the B squad to walk in,

and right now, all I can think about is, bitch,

we look motherfucking good,

and these girls are about to gag when they walk in.

It's gonna be the face crack of the century.

Are you girls excited to see the girls

that you specifically sent home?

Yes.

I feel like they gonna come in being like daggers.

Well, I mean, they already lost one,

so you already know they're coming in here with a vengeance.

- With a vengeance. - Right, exactly.

You must be freaking out a little bit.

I mean, it's more kind of, like, a sickening feeling,

because I kinda get

to actually confront them for the first time.

Yeah, y'all have some shit to talk about.

Do you guys think I should be, like, here when they come in?

I think you should hide, bitch.

You should hide.

I think you should gag the girls and hide.

Yeah, go back there.

Oh, my God, they're gonna fucking die.

- Y'all don't know I'm here. - We don't know nothing.

Don't be over there laughing either, Miss Two-Twos.

Elliott who?

Hiding Elliott is so devious.

This is so much fun.

All right, girls, put your faces on.

Okay, that's what's up.

Oh, look.

I see.

We walk into the werkroom

and the fucking other half of the cast is there

staring at us like fucking predators.

What's up, girls?

What up, bitches?

Come on, come over here, come over here!

If it isn't the B squad!

Oh!

Oh, so that's how it is?

- No, that's not how it is! - Okay.

If it isn't the "anywhere to go but down" squad.

The other group feels like

there's this, like, high-noseness.

There is this, like, air of, mm, we beat you,

and you're gonna go home again.

- Who won y'all's lip sync? - I did.

Who's the winner over here?

- All right! - Okay.

Listen, I love to stir the pot.

Wait, the real question is, though,

so I know some of y'all sent one girl home, okay?

I sent two girls home.

So Miss Kahmora Hall, if you're here,

what'd you do with Elliott?

We had to send one of us home,

and unfortunately, we ended up deciding on Elliott.

What did you judge it on, like...

First impressions.

What was her impression that sent her home?

Um...

- Elliott? - Yeah.

Um... that.

I just didn't really get what her drag style was.

I'm just like, mm, mm, mm.

Ooh, this is tasty, girl. Ha!

What's up, B squad?

How we doing?

Y'all didn't expect to see me, did you?

The Porkchop queens are gooped

when they see Elliott walk out.

So we have a lot to talk about.

Ooh! Come on, bitch!

Lay it on the table.

When it really comes down to it,

I didn't have any time to talk about myself,

because I was the last one in the room.

Kahmora already knew someone else,

so she already was kind of, like, good up in the gig.

It was no malice behind it.

It was gonna have to be one of us.

So why didn't you jump up?

Oh!

Because they didn't vote me.

They voted you.

She attacked the wrong one.

All these chihuahuas beside me, you gonna go for the pit bull?

No, ma'am.

I know Tamisha Iman from back in Atlanta,

and that bitch likes to fight.

It was kind of shocking when it was unanimous for me

when y'all didn't know nothing about me.

But, you know, now I have a first impression of all y'all,

so it is what it is.

Okay.

Ooh, you girls are spicy, bitch.

I think the other girls

feel as though they have the upper edge on us

because they won their challenge.

Now we are all the Season 13 sisters.

- Yeah! - Yeah!

Season 13, bitches!

There's several more rounds to go in this race.

The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race

receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics,

and a cash prize of $100.000.

With extra-special guest judge Loni Love.

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

♪ May the best woman ♪

♪ Best woman win ♪

- Okay! We're here, bitches! - Whee!

We're still here!

Walking into this werkroom, I think that the competition

is about to get next fucking level.

We've got both groups together.

Bitch, the room is so full right now.

So I'm gonna have to work really hard

to give 'em the that Joey Jay experience, girl.

- This is a diverse cast. - It's a cute cast.

Who's single? Who's single in the group?

Single-single! You are single.

You're single-single. Single?

You're single.

Oh, my God, Joey Jay is so cute.

And so feminine. I love feminine boys.

What made you scamper away?

Kandy Muse is, like,

a fun, rambunctious, like, kid on the schoolyard.

You know, I like that bitch.

If I ain't gonna win the crown,

I'm gonna win a man.

Based on Kandy's reputation in New York, I was worried.

And so I almost feel a little bad, because I judged her.

I'm gonna say you heard it here first.

Tina Burner and Kandy Muse are kiki sisters.

Hello, hello, hello!

You better come on!

All my queens, together at last.

- Yes! - Yes!

Now, as much as we've enjoyed

taking the time to get to know

your charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent intimately,

from this moment on, we're putting the elimination

back into this competition officially.

That's right. Before this week is over,

one of you will be going home for good.

Well, now that I've put you all in a festive spirit...

for this week's maxi-challenge

you'll be starring in cheesy holiday movies

for my new media venture, the RuPaulmark Channel.

But we ain't doin' one of those Christmas movies.

Uh-uh. No, ma'am.

We are disrupting the marketplace

with films that celebrate

all the other holidays of the year.

Now, to mix up the two groups of queens,

I've taken the liberty to assign teams.

Shit. Here we go.

Then each team will assign the individual roles.

The first team is Denali, Elliott With 2 Ts,

Kahmora Hall, and Olivia Lux.

You'll be overacting

in the Valentine's Day tearjerker...

Valentine.

All right, next team is LaLa Ri, Rosé, Symone...

- Ooh. - Yes, bitch.

And Utica.

Now, you'll be overacting

in a soon-to-be-classic Flag Day romantic adventure...

And that means the third team

is Gottmik, Joey Jay, Kandy Muse...

Eew.

Tamisha Iman...

And Tinta Burner.

Tsss!

You'll be acting a fool

in a rom-com that celebrates April Fool's Day.

It's called...

Last but not least, to help you get into character,

we've got wigs provided by Wigs and Grace.

- All right. - Yeah.

Racers, start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win!

Movie trailer one,

Valentine's Day, Misery Loves Company.

Let's just read through it, all right?

So Misery and Ash have a fight. That's kind of fun.

I've never done scripted acting before,

but I'm not afraid of a challenge.

So I think I'll go ahead and take Misery Love.

- You wanna be Misery? - I kinda do.

Werk.

I wanna prove that I'm more than just a lip sync artist,

that I can act.

I absolutely feel ready

to break into the winner's circle.

I'm gonna fight 40 times harder now

to prove that I am a threat in this competition.

And not just a safe threat. I'm a top threat.

"Queen three, Kewpie the Stupid Cupid.

Total airhead with a heart of gold."

I feel that already.

Because I actually am stupid.

I love it!

There's just something really annoying

about Elliott's voice that I can't stand.

Oh, my God!

She uses the branch just like...

That kind of nasally, like...

Aah!

I can't.

Maybe we should just

read through the whole thing by ourselves,

and then come together at the end.

I realize that it's obviously a main character,

but I didn't realize

how many lines this character was gonna have.

This is a big role.

It's kind of overwhelming.

I definitely feel like I have the biggest challenge

with this character, though.

Denali is definitely feeling it,

and I think she's kind of second-guessing

the character she chose.

I should never have sent a fool to do a woman's job!

I am so excited,

because we're gonna be filming some cheesy television.

I hope I'm not lactose intolerant.

We got Whoopie Cushion, we have Party Clown, Party Lady.

"Everything she says is delivered like a bad joke."

I definitely want Whoopie Cushion, hands down.

The second I see Miss Whoopie Cushion,

I don't even let a girl get a chance.

Nope, she's mine.

Are you already highlighting your lines?

- Mm-hmm. - Bitch!

Bitch, this is Kandy Muse on paper.

All right, so I'm definitely happy with Whoopie.

She's just like, "I'm highlighting,

this is my role, get into it or get lost."

And I'm like, well, props to you.

That was kind of everything.

But also, not sure if that's how that works.

But okay.

God Loves Flags.

I wish every day were Flag Day!

I didn't know Flag Day was a real holiday.

Like, this is news to me.

Honestly, we never been out of school

for Flag Day, I don't think.

As of midnight tonight,

I'm tearing down the flag fixture

and putting a wall fixture where the flag fix... wait.

Did you just call me a bitch?

We're doing an acting challenge.

That means that the actresses are gonna come out to play.

Mayday! Mayday!

That means it's gonna be between me and Tina.

I should never have sent a fool to do a woman's job!

We are both actresses, we've got big personalities.

I can already see her taking the lead, being hilarious.

So just in the back of my mind,

I'm making sure that, like, I'm doing the same exact thing.

Whoo-hoo!

Of course you know me.

Hi-ee!

- Hi! - Hello.

How are my lipstick thespians doing?

- Fantastic. - Glossed and ready!

Nevah bettah.

All right, Flag team, come on down.

Hey, let's do it!

Come on, flag.

God Loves Flags, and that's the truth.

God do love some flags.

That's right.

Have you all spoken with the other teams

and compared scripts?

- Mm-mm. - Because little secret.

As with all of those type of movies,

they're all very similar.

If not exactly the same.

So what we're looking for

is for you as an actor to take this role

and turn it into something really, really special.

- LaLa Ri! - Yes, hunty!

Are those acrylics?

No, they're press-ons.

Are you wearing press-on nails, too?

No, these I got her done.

- Those are acrylic. - Mm-hmm.

For the look and feel of what?

A woman.

Okay.

And then there's that.

That's called method acting, you know.

Oh, yes.

Where you embody the character. Nice.

Now, Rosé, you have any theater in your background?

I consider myself, even through drag, an actor first.

- Oh, an actor first. - An actor first, Mama.

So, now, Rosé and Utica,

you both voted for Elliott With 2 Ts to go home.

What made you decide on Elliott?

I think that between Elliott and I

there was just a very different vibe.

I give a very warm energy and she gives a very cold energy.

That's... That's interesting.

Utica, how do you feel about this acting challenge?

I am playing a token, token queen.

Oh, she tokes the marijuana.

Have you ever smoked weed before?

Oh, my God, please do that in your... your... your...

Just let it all out.

What it is that you do, do that.

All right, ladies,

Well, I'm gonna let you get back to rehearsing.

I can't wait to see what you do.

- All right! - Thanks, Ru.

Hey, April Fools.

- All right. - Come on over.

- Miss Kandy Muse. - Hi.

How short are those shorts you have on?

Um... a little panty.

Well, it pays to advertise.

- Ooh! - Yes.

Any acting in your background?

I mean, I act like I like these girls here,

but besides that...

Because the thing is that you have so much personality,

but can you turn it on when they say "Okay, action."

All right, so now Miss Tamisha.

- Yes? - What role are you playing?

I'm Zoltina.

That's the character that's based on Cher.

Can I hear a little bit of your Cher?

Snap out of it!

Yeah. Uh, yeah, but better than that.

Whoa.

- Are you a Cher fan? - I am.

Name five Cher songs, but don't do Believe.

Um... um...

I would say Gypsy.

She's not a Cher fan.

- She ain't no Cher fan! - I'm a Cher fan at heart.

- No, you ain't. - Yes, I am.

Who are you a big fan of, where you know everything about them?

It would be Gladys, Patti...

Natalie Cole. I'm a big fan of Natalie Cole.

Okay. So make Natalie Cole Cher,

or your interpretation of Cher.

Gotcha.

You know, do it however you can get there.

And this is for all y'all.

However you can get there, get there.

So, Gottmik, what role are you playing?

I'm playing April Fool.

You wound up with so many lines.

Will you be able to remember them?

I have a pretty good memory, so I think I got it.

You have a good memory.

So who were the three artists

Tamisha would have rather done.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, Patti Labelle.

Uh-huh.

And then I got so distracted by your gorgeous pussy bow, I...

- There goes the memory. - It's all in here.

I cannot wait to see what you all do with these roles.

- Thank you so much. - Thank you.

Hey, ladies, listen up.

Tomorrow on the runway, category is Trains For Days.

Now remember, whatever you do, don't fuck it up.

All right, bye.

It's time to shoot our drag holiday movie with the Ross Mathews.

I am feeling boss-ass bitch.

Get me a wire hanger!

I'm gonna beat the shit outta somebody.

Hope you're ready to ham it up,

because ham goes with every holiday.

And no pressure, but April Fool's is my favorite holiday.

Of course it is, yeah.

Places!

Ready and action.

We're just one building away

from putting up a humorous ice cream factory

where a humorous ice cream factory ought to be.

And I'm not joking, bitch!

I really love the characterization.

Have fun with it. Sell it.

Mik, she's giving me, like,

Joan Cusack from Addams Family Values,

and I'm, like, almost peeing my pants.

And I'm not joking, bitch!

Even more gangster. Give it to me bigger.

And I'm not joking, bitch!

Great.

Cut, print. Moving on.

All right, let's give this a go. Action.

Zoltina, the fortune-telling machine from New Orleans.

Whoa.

When you wake up,

I'd love it even more dramatic. Whoa-ho-ho-ho.

- Okay. - Action!

Whoa!

- Even bigger "whoa" from you. - Okay.

Whoa!

Really exaggerate the "oh-oh-oh."

How funny can you make whoa?

Whoa-ho-ho!

Do that one more time. It was good!

Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho.

Even longer than you think.

Okay.

Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho!

Can you go higher with it? Whoa!

Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho!

Yes, Tamisha is slaying it.

Ho-ho-ho. Ho-ho-ho-ho! Ho! Ho!

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Aah!

We're in the Fools Rush In novelty shoppe now.

Have fun with it. Action.

If it isn't my grandmother, Sasha Fool.

You look like you could use a good laugh.

Ugh.

Ha, gotcha!

You looked like you could use a good laugh.

Wait, cut.

I think you said the same line.

- Yeah, I did. - Okay.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm nervous.

You look like you could have used a good laugh.

Cut. Make sure we're not seeing your profile all the time.

You gotta stay out to the cameras.

Do you know which camera is your close-up camera?

No, I don't.

- This one? - That's it.

When you're talking to April,

you're gonna cheat to that camera.

Okay.

Make sure we can understand everything.

And when you shake her hand,

make sure you're in there so I can see it.

- Yeah. - Yeah. Okay?

Okay.

Joey, stop looking to the side.

Don't look in the camera, look past the camera.

Enunciate your words.

Do you remember what the line is?

Okay, now I need you to shake her hand.

This is how I feel.

Moving on.

Hey, did somebody mention my name?

You look like you could use a good laugh.

You know what I'm saying, Oh... oh...

Whoo-hoo-whoo!

Come on, bitch!

Whoo!

Are they laughing? Then I'm good.

Every single person in this room is laughing.

Bitch, ballpark.

Outta the park.

Whatever that little reference is, that.

All right, ladies, that's a wrap!

- Hi-ee. - Hello!

It's time to put it on

for the lights, the camera, and the action.

First scene in the flag factory shoppe. Action.

As of midnight tonight,

I am tearing down the flag factory

and putting a wall factory

where a wall factory ought to be!

Good?

Good rhythm, I gotta say!

- All right. - Yes!

Symone was really quiet in rehearsal.

All of a sudden, she's the loudest bitch in the room.

I gotta make sure that I'm as fierce as she is.

Okay, let's give it a go. And action.

Hello up there!

Do I know you?

Honey, I'm a nonbinary, three-foot gnome.

You can trust me.

It's really hard not to break character sometimes,

because Rosé as this gnome is sending me.

Good, ladies.

Yay.

Places! Action!

Mother Flag-g-g has arrived.

- "Have you seen my bong?" - Oh, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. Uh... shoot.

Uh...

And when I came across that... no... no...

Uh, cut. So, just...

Do you need to look at a script?

Off to a great start.

Aah! I get really nervous,

and I forget all my lines.

All of them, all three of my lines.

And action.

Mother Flag has arrived.

Now, where's my bong?

Not now, Mother.

Red is trying to shut down the fa...

Not now, Mother.

Red's trying to shut down flag factory.

What should we do?

Okay, cut. You're upset.

You know, like, be upset.

Some stuff's going down here.

- Be flustered. - Okay.

Red is trying to shut down the flag factory.

What should we do?

I'm a little worried for LaLa.

Her performance is a little boring.

I wish every day were Flag Day!

Okay. Moving on.

I know Ross is probably sitting here thinking, like,

what the fuck is she doing, girl?

Like, who cast this ho?

- Hi, Ross. - Hi, Ross!

Hi-ee! Are you ready to make some holiday magic?

- Yes! Let's do this! - Okay.

Places.

Misery, is that you?

I haven't seen you in 10 years!

When I heard you were going to give the deed

to the Family Rose Garden Bud Farm-fill Town Center...

Oh.

Yeah, you wanna take it again?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Rose Family Valentine's Day rose farm.

Sorry, one more time.

Immediately, I'm struggling with my lines.

This is hard boots.

And action!

I am going to build fudge packer factories

where all fudge packer factories should be.

Cut. Have you ever seen Mommie Dearest?

I have.

Yeah, there's this scene where she goes,

"I've put a window where a window ought to be."

- Ought to be. Yes. - Okay?

So it's very important you get these lines right.

That I get that line, okay.

Because you're referencing something iconic.

Right. I am going to build a fudge packing factory

where a "fudge facking pactory" ought to be!

Okay, cut. You said "pack fashing facory."

No bueno. No bueno!

All right, ladies, we're gonna meet the ash tree.

Kahmora's gonna be the tree.

It's, like, a lot of green-screen work.

Even though she's in a green screen suit,

Kahmora is in full drag body for this with her breastplate.

You could have wore a boy body.

Action.

Misery, why did you leaf me all these years ago?

Okay, cut.

- Ash? - Yes.

You're giving a really wooden performance.

Gimme little ups and downs.

- Got it, okay. - Action!

Misery, why did you leaf me?

- I was rooting for us! - Cut.

How would you say that line?

I was rooting for us!

How would Tyra Banks say it?

I was rooting for you.

Yeah, so what were you gonna emphasize?

I was rooting for us.

- No. - I'm sorry.

- I was rooting for us! - Okay.

I was rooting for us!

Let's go right back to the top,

and you were rooting for us.

I was rooting for us.

I was rooting for us!

I was rooting for us!

Why do you keep saying "I was rooting for us?"

I didn't realize I'm emphasizing the wrong thing.

You're totally... Like, over and over again.

I was rooting for us.

I was rooting for us.

I was rooting for us!

No. Say it...

I think I'm saying it right, no?

Tyra said, "I was rooting for you."

So, say, I was rooting for us.

I was rooting for us.

Last chance, and we gotta move on.

- Okay. - Nail it.

Misery, why did you leaf me all these years ago?

I was rooting for us.

Was that better?

She says it probably, um, 78 times,

and she still doesn't get it?

I'm watching a train wreck happen right in front of me.

That's it. I'll see you on the runway.

I was rooting for her.

- ♪ Time to paint my face ♪ - Whoo, bitch, come on, ho!

Whoo! It is elimination day,

and it is officially time for girls to start going home.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's become women.

Or in Tina's case, softer.

Aah!

Shady!

Gimme the thread.

How you doing? Are you all right?

I'm re-doing my train look

because my original one is not going to work.

So I am using a different one now,

and I'm trying to just jimmy-rig it for the runway.

And Gottmik and Tina are really helping me,

because, bitch, I was stressing out and going through it.

Tina and Mik, those are my, like, shady little bitches.

We're just so, like, shady to each other.

Like, no one understands our humor.

We just get each other.

Well, girl, you're pulling it together, honey.

You're making it work.

- Thanks, Tim. - Okay.

We'll see you on the runway.

Yeah.

Me and Kandy and Tina are shade monsters all day together.

We just kiki like no other bitch.

I love those ladies.

We are ride-or-dies forever.

Thank you. No, like, really, really, like, thank you.

Girl, we're not gonna let you walk out there

looking like shit.

- Look at that. Whoo! - Honey.

Oh... my goodness.

Look at that. Look at that. Perfection.

That looks so good!

Yes! Werk, bitches.

- Okay, let's fucking... - All right.

All right, let's go get ready.

Symone, what was your first time in drag like?

My first time,

I would go home from school every day,

and I would do my makeup before my parents came home.

One of my classmates was like,

"So you coming to prom in drag, diva?"

And I was like, "You know what? Yeah, I am."

And so my first time in drag, I went to prom.

- What? - Girl!

Yep. I saved up all my money, my shekels, my coins.

I bought me a dress off the sales rack,

I got me a shake-and-go wig, and I put myself up in drag.

And then I went into my high school prom.

The vice principal was like, "Who is this?

I've never seen this person before."

And the principal was like, "That's Reggie.

"You know, that's Reggie underneath there.

Go on in, Reggie, have a good time."

And I was, like, "All right, bitch."

Aw, so cute!

In Arkansas, too?

Oh, honey, I had no fear.

Drag, like, took that away.

All the fear that Reggie had, Symone did not.

It was an empowering moment.

I felt good.

It was one of the first times I felt seen.

It was the first time I felt strong

and not scared to be myself.

Here's a question, y'all.

Has anyone ever dated a woman?

No!

A woman? Dated a woman? I've never dated a woman.

I'm gold star over here.

I had mad girlfriends when I was, like, young.

Me, too, though.

I have biological kids.

Wait! She got kids, bitch!

- What? - Kids?

- Isn't that crazy? - Yeah, I know, right?

I have three biological kids.

Aah! What?

My youngest is 33,

and the oldest have just turned 35.

- What? - Oh, my God.

My twins, I dated their mother during high school.

After her, went with another girl,

and my life has just been a whirlwind.

Long story short, I didn't realize that I was gay

until after I got outta high school.

And do they know... They know about the gay?

- They know you're, like... - Yeah.

Are they gonna watch the show?

Sure.

After I parted with the second baby mother,

I had a friend in Atlanta that was gay.

So his thing was let's just go hang out.

You know, let me show you my world.

I don't know if he saw something or whatever,

but nevertheless, we went to the club.

To see guys dancing with guys,

that was amazing.

It was an "aha" moment.

Long story short, I started doing drag when I was 20.

So my drag name actually comes from my oldest daughter.

Your oldest biological daughter?

Yeah. Her name is Tamisha.

- Aw! - Aw!

Is her middle name "Coming For You?"

Tamisha Iman is coming for you!

Show the girls what art can do.

We weren't there, so y'all can't sing that.

Yeah, thank you.

So then I better not hear any "Symone's coming for the crown."

Well, 'cause she ain't.

- Ooh! - Ooh!

It's a joke!

I said JK, Kahmora.

- Oh! - It's Kah-mora.

And that is the night the lights went out in the werkroom.

♪ Cover girl, put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe, let your whole body talk ♪

And what?

Welcome to the main stage of RuPaul's Drag Race.

Michelle Visage, now, what's your favorite holiday?

Ru, you know what I'm gonna say.

Madonna's Holiday.

The only one!

The hilarious Ross Mathews.

Now, Ross, if you could celebrate one holiday every day,

what would it be?

Groundhog's Day.

Ross, if you could celebrate one holiday every day,

what would it be?

Celebrity Drag Race royalty,

everybody say Loni Love!

- Loni Love! - Loni Love!

Loni, do you have a favorite holiday?

Yes, Ru, Valentine's Day,

because I can get some roses and some candy

and I get some... yeah.

This week we challenged our queens

to overact in cheesy holiday movies.

And tonight on the runway, category is Trains For Days.

Racers, start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win.

♪ Bring back my girls ♪

Category is Trains For Days.

First up, Denali.

She looks like she's trained a cockatoo.

I'm serving you beautiful bird realness.

Quetzalcoatl is a deity

of Mesoamerican and Mexican culture.

The Quetzal bird has this sickening Mohawk

that both makes it really elegant, but also really punk.

The trains for days are beautiful ostrich feathers.

Not chicken, mama.

This is ostrich, and I'm serving it.

Oh, my God, Michelle, did she just flip you the bird?

She did!

Olivia Lux.

Rock me, Glamadeus.

I'm serving you rococo, baroque, Beethoven.

I'm giving you all the musical geniuses, okay?

She put the "ass" in "classical."

Elliott With 2 Ts.

I guess the other "T" is for "train."

I am serving you Glenn Close

mixed with Meryl Streep fantasy hair.

And then this train is sickening.

All the ruffles, all the tulle.

Girl, I am feeling myself.

Can you take one more spin?

You missed a spot right over there.

Swiffer? I hardly know her!

From the halls of medicine, Kahmora Hall.

How are your heads?

I am feeling so glamorous and beautiful.

I am the East Asian Mother of Dragons.

Daenerys, move out the way, bitch.

I know the judges are feeling it.

Pick it up, girl. You're dragon it.

Symone.

She comes from the wrong side of the tracksuit.

A durag is a part of Black culture,

and I wanted to celebrate that on the stage.

Ain't nothin' wrong with wearing no durag.

It is unapologetic, and that is very Symone.

Du your thang, Symone!

Oh, yes, she bettah durag!

Oh, my God.

Do-re-mi, it's LaLa Ri.

Now, I have had it with these mother-tuckin' snakes

on this mother-tuckin' train.

So, baby, I'm slithering down this runway,

giving them life in my snakeskin train.

I gave you a myth.

All you see is the eyes,

and she's still penetrating your soul with just the eyes.

And it's hot!

If that wasn't enough, bitch...

She's shedding, America. She's shedding, darling.

Bitch, I'm living.

Give us that venom, baby.

Next stop, Syracuse, Schenectady, Utica.

Does the carpet match the drapes?

I am wearing a Carol Burnett-inspired piece

from her iconic Gone With the Wind sketch.

I am feeling so comedic, so silly,

and I'm just feeling great in these drapes.

The shade!

Rosé.

Well, she's acting very aloof-ah.

Miss Rosé loves the eighties,

and tonight I am Lady Tuxedo down.

Enormous amounts of tulle cascading down my back.

My Mohawk even has a train.

That's how dedicated I am to this fucking craft, okay, baby?

Ladies and gentlemen,

I'm your cruise director, Tullie McCoy.

Gottmik.

Ooh!

Hold on, I think we're about to get blown.

Ooh, yay!

I am giving you trans train artistry.

Chiffon behind me,

and I have a fully bedazzled leaf blower to go with it.

I brought my own wind, girl.

She is the wind beneath her own damn wings.

Tina Burner.

You know, this was once worn by Trainy Kazan.

I am serving you

the conductor of this train, henny,

full-on Tina Burner camp couture.

Let those bitches be the caboose,

because this motherfucker is running the train up in here.

Tina! Bring me the track!

Joey Jay from the KGB.

Oh, she took the S&M train.

- Mm. - Ooh!

I wanted to go

a Joey Jay wacky direction with this.

A pussy-eating tongue,

hand-painted, hand-sewn by yours truly.

Bitch, eat it.

Finally a look with taste.

Kandy Muse.

I think she's wearing her training bra.

Oh.

Blood red velvet leather fantasy,

looking like a vamptress herself.

And when I turn the corner, poof, slow the train.

I look so sexy. Mm!

This dress is the train event.

Tamisha Iman.

This the Diana Ross train.

Yes.

This is another one of the Tamisha Iman creations.

Yeah, I made this one as well.

The train is flowing like it's supposed to.

I'm confident in it, and I don't care where you are,

you're gonna notice this pink from across the room.

She got some juice in that caboose.

Yes, she does.

Hey, Ru, is the train still running?

Welcome, queens.

I'm proud to present our programming slate for 2021.

Our first film stars Denali, Olivia Lux,

Elliott, and Kahmora Hall.

This Valentine's Day,

get ready to fall in love

in the RuPaulmark original...

Misery is a successful businesswoman

who hates Valentine's Day.

I hate Valentine's Day, and I hate roses!

So when Misery Love inherits

the Love Family Valentine's Day rose farm,

things get thorny.

What a dump.

Misery, is that you?

When I heard you were gonna give me

the deed to the Love Family Valentine's Day rose farm,

well, I mean when I heard you were dying,

I dropped everything.

I would have dropped a few pounds, too,

while you were at it.

Did I say that out loud?

I own 51% of this company.

Well, I would love to give you the deed,

but the movie's just starting.

While the world is making love,

Misery is making trouble.

I'm going to burn this rose farm to the ground

and build a fudge packing factory

where a fudge packing factory ought to be!

It's gonna take a Valentine's Day miracle

to save the Love Family Valentine's Day rose farm.

Misery wants to close down the farm

and open a fudge packing factory.

Just as I suspected!

If only there was some way

to get Misery to rediscover

the true meaning of Valentine's Day.

Well, ain't that what your bow and arrow is for?

Child, how do you even get outta bed in the morning?

I don't know.

Sometimes it takes an old flame

to melt a cold heart.

Ash?

Cupid's arrow, hit your mark.

Make this big old ash tree talk!

I've been tree-incarnated!

Misery, why did you leaf me all these years ago?

I was rooting for us.

The love between a girl and a tree, it was forbidden.

You were a coward.

How dare you!

Oh!

My bark is worse than your bite!

Oh!

I've always been here, pining for you.

Don't get sappy with me, Ash.

Misery Love's Company

will make you believe in love all over again.

I'm in love with Ash Tree,

and I don't care if the whole world knows it!

Does this mean

you're not going to burn down

the Love Family Valentine's Day rose farm?

The rose farm belongs to you now.

Well, I have a surprise, too.

I'm not really dying. Yeah!

Yeah! Hey!

But wait. It wouldn't be a RuPaulmark holiday movie

without one more ridiculous twist.

Brrrrrr!

I guess I should have told you.

I'm really a prince.

The only thing I love more than trees

is a hot, rich prince.

Stop. You're giving me a woody.

Even though we gave away the whole damn plot,

watch Misery Love's Company, only on the RuPaulmark Channel.

Oh, my God.

Our next film stars Symone, LaLa Ri, Utica, and Rosé.

This Flag Day,

get ready to fall in love with yourself all over again

in the RuPaulmark original...

Meet Red Flag of the famous flag-making Flag family.

I hate flags, and I hate myself.

When she receives a desperate text,

Red rushes home to the Flag family flag factory.

Red, thank goodness you're home.

The bank is foreclosing on the Flag family flag factory.

I know you left town years ago,

but you still own half of the flag factory.

Correction.

I own 51% of the flag factory.

And the only reason I came back is to shut it down.

As of midnight tonight,

I'll be tearing down the flag factory,

and I'll be putting up a wall factory

where a wall factory ought to be!

Sometimes it takes an old flag

to show the children how it's really done.

You can't make someone love flags.

You've got to be born that way.

When I was younger, I hid my true colors, too.

What helped you come out?

Picture it. Summer '69.

I came across the most beautiful flag.

Well hung, and a nice pole, too.

Are we still talking about flags?

With time running out,

can a magical lawn ornament save Flag Day?

Must be walls!

Hello up there!

Do I know you?

I'm Gnomey.

The gnome.

Oh, Gnomey!

How long you had your finger in that dike?

Anyway, this may sound a little queer,

but I'm scared to let my true colors show.

I'm just scared I won't fit in.

Bitch, you are perfect just the way you are!

God Loves Flags will make you laugh and cry

and wonder if Flag Day

is really some secret gay thing.

Something's different about you.

I will not be shutting down the flag factory.

And I'm ready to let my freak flag fly!

It's a coming-out present!

I love it!

I wish every day were Flag Day!

You've already figured out how it ends,

but we'll tell you anyway.

Here, pull my finger!

Wait a minute. You a prince?

You loving yourself freed me, too.

Red, will you marry me?

I mean, you hot and all, but I'm into women, so...

Yes!

Watch God Loves Flags only on the RuPaulmark Channel,

where the holidays aren't just gay,

they're super gay.

Our final film stars Gottmik, Tina Burner,

Joey Jay, Kandy Muse, and Tamisha Iman.

Coming April 1st, the joke's on you

if you don't fall in love in...

Meet April Fool.

She hates April Fool's Day.

I hate April Fool's Day, and I hate pranks.

The former small-town prankster is now a cutthroat lawyer

for the Humorless Ice Cream company.

April, we're just one building away

from putting up a Humorless Ice Cream factory

where a Humorless Ice Cream factory ought to be.

Who are the suckers you want me to 86, boss?

The Fools Rush In novelty shoppe. Heard of it?

Yes, I have.

But I'm an ambitious lawyer,

and I have no trouble

destroying my family's novelty gift shoppe.

And I'm not joking, bitch!

You have till April 1st to get me the deed.

Is the plot of this movie perfectly clear to you?

This fool's errand soon puts April

between a rock and a hardy-har place.

April, you're home.

Put it here!

Unh! Aah-aah-aah!

Gotcha! You looked like you could use a good laugh.

I'm here because I have some papers for you to sign.

Nothing to worry about.

Now, where is my Whoopie Cushion?

Hey! Did someone say my name? Aah!

Oh, Whoopie, my favorite employee,

meet my ambitious granddaughter.

You look like you could use a laugh.

Why does everyone keep saying that?

When was the last time someone tickled your funny bone?

If you know what I'm saying, oh!

Ah-whoo! Ah-whoo!

Come on, bitch! Whoo!

With hours until April Fool's Day,

can a cheap Cher impersonation change April's fortune?

Whoa!

Hey, April, why so dark, lady?

Am I doing the right thing by stealing my granny's shoppe?

After the apocalypse, three things remain.

Laughter, love...

and Cher.

Whoa!

So don't be a bitch, bitch.

April's Fool's Paradise will make you cry,

drunk-text your ex,

and wonder, "Did I miss something?"

Happy April Fool's Day, everyone!

April, where's the deed?

There is no deed. Take this!

Oh!

It's too late. I signed the deed.

Joke's on you, April.

You're fired!

I've ruined everything!

April Fools!

Sasha signed the deed with disappearing ink!

Gotcha!

Wait a minute.

The movie's almost over,

and April hasn't found her secret prince.

I have just one more wish to make.

Don't tell me. You wish you had a prince.

Oh, are you a real prince?

Well, I'm a Prince impersonator.

Let's go crazy!

Gotcha! Whoa!

Don't miss April Fools Rush In,

coming to the RuPaulmark Channel this Halloween.

Ho! Ho-ho! Ho!

April Fools!

Brava, ladies, brava.

I smell a Cable ACE award in your future.

Ladies, I've made some decisions.

When I call your name, please step forward.

Elliott With 2 Ts.

Olivia Lux.

Utica.

Joey Jay.

Gottmik.

Tinta Burta.

Tamisha Iman. Whoa!

Ladies, you are...

safe.

Thank you.

Some really great work this week.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

You may leave the stage.

Queens, you represent the tops and the bottoms of the week.

Now it's time for the judges' critiques.

Starting with Denali.

- I love your train look. - Thank you, Ross.

This has a lot of whimsy, but it's also beautiful.

You just look like a beautiful bird.

Your performance, you have an opening line

that is a legendary Bette Davis line,

which is, "What a dump!"

Right.

And I didn't get that.

I think you could have gone way further with it.

When you choose the big part, the main character,

you've got a lot of work to do through every scene.

- But it was a struggle. - Okay.

You have to find a way to make the character interesting.

Some of these other girls managed to do that.

All right, Kahmora Hall.

This outfit, you embraced your culture and you look fabulous.

Your performance, however, was a little... flat.

Why did you leaf me all these years ago?

I wanted you to be ridiculous, I wanted you to let go.

You gotta take it and run with it,

like you do with your fashion.

You're so buttoned up,

and I feel like you struggle with that.

But art is about not being afraid.

Kahmora, what's going on?

You're right.

Like, I try to be perfect all the time,

and even just, like, watching the video,

I can see in my mind

that I'm, like, thinking too much about it

and afraid to let go.

I don't know why I'm struggling

with, like, feeling confident inside,

but not showing it on the outside to you all.

Well, it's amazing that you've been given the gift

to see where the mistake was in that.

Thank you.

All right. From Arkansas, Symone.

This has never been done on the runway,

using a freaking durag as a train?

Get into it.

You are the Soul Train, I tell you.

Yes, ma'am.

You have been able to take the genius

of embracing your culture.

This is what America is about.

Let's talk about the challenge.

You came out ready to go.

You had your lines, you had the character.

You got the Julia Sugarbaker role.

What I loved was that you infused it with you.

Even the way you just said words so stupidly.

- Flag fact'ry." - "Fact'ry."

So wrong it's right.

Thank you.

Up next, LaLa Ri. Oh, my goodness, this outfit.

Mm-mm, I could use that for Sunday brunch for real.

I wanna talk about your performance.

You came in kind of quiet,

almost like you weren't sure of yourself.

You were out of your comfort zone, am I right?

Yeah, you're correct.

It showed on your face, and I think you kind of went within.

And I'm gonna give you a piece of advice.

When I was doing Soul Plane,

Mo'Nique knew it was my first time doing it,

and she said, "Make sure that whatever you did to get here,

you keep doing it."

Thank you.

Up next, Rosé.

Tonight on the runway, this is fun.

It's not my favorite to me,

because I feel like I'm looking at a suit

with just an attachment on it.

This is good. I just wanted more, more, more.

But Gnomey was super fun.

Gnomey!

The gnome.

Talk about weird.

I mean, you're on your knees, shooting as a gnome.

I loved your characterization.

You were so easy to direct.

I didn't know you had all that acting skill in you.

Even though you were just static,

you were still able to bring life into your character.

And I can't wait to see more of you.

Thank you so much.

Up next, Kandy Muse.

Tonight on the runway,

your train look doesn't really say train for me.

I think my issue with it, Kandy, is it's a little too plain.

- Okay. - On the side,

I don't wanna see your cincher

or your undergarments sticking out

I know. I was gonna pull it down,

but my little beef tenderonis were gonna come out,

and I was trying to keep it family friendly.

Now, you were ridiculous as Whoopie Cushion.

Whoo! Whoo!

You were committed to the character,

it was colorful, it was you.

Your performance is a perfect example

of how if you just give in to the moment and get loose,

you can really strike gold.

Laugh out loud funny, Kandy Muse.

Very well did.

Well, thank you, ladies. I think we've heard enough.

While you untuck in the werkroom,

the judges and I will deliberate.

All right, now just between us flag hags,

whaddaya think?

Denali.

Denali is so good, but I think she just bit off

a bit more than she could chew this week.

Also, she didn't have the gay cultural references

that you kind of have to have to know those lines.

Yeah.

I mean, that was, like, come on.

Kahmora Hall.

Ladies, it was tough directing her.

I mean, I literally pulled that out of her.

I was exhausted.

I needed a coffee, I needed a shot,

I needed a deep-tissue massage.

And that's what we got.

I think she broke tonight.

I think that that means there's room for improvement.

She doesn't feel safe enough to just trust herself.

This girl knows fashion,

but tonight, that acting challenge was pretty tough.

- Symone. - She had an idea

of what she wanted to do in this acting challenge,

and she executed it perfectly.

I love it!

Symone is a perfect example

of someone who trusts their instinct,

who's done her homework

and knows that she's gonna bring Symone to every challenge.

Symone is my cousin.

That's Detroit all day. Blow it out.

We take fashion risks.

Do not be surprised if you see Rihanna

with this long train durag, all right?

Because it's gonna happen, people.

LaLa Ri.

She was the weakest of the group.

But with that said, she still was not terrible.

She wasn't popping.

And if she's fading in the background this early,

that worries me.

She is too good to fade.

Rosé.

I loved her performance.

Her performance was A1. It was funny.

She was so wonderful.

I loved all her little bits that she did.

She was ready for that challenge,

and she is ready for this competition.

Watch out for her.

Kandy Muse.

She knows how to bring comedy.

She knows how to bring life.

She infused herself in it,

and that's how you excel in these acting challenges.

However, tonight on the runway,

it was just messy for me.

Yeah, the outfit needed some adjustments.

But she is just hilarious.

Let's just give her some pins to hide her undergarments.

Silence. I've made my decision.

Aah!

Okay.

Welcome back, ladies.

I've made some decisions.

Rosé. As Gnomey the Gnome,

you had us wrapped around your pointer finger.

You're safe.

Thank you so much.

Symone.

Tonight you put the "drag" in "durag."

Con-drag-ulations.

You're the winner of this week's challenge.

Thank you.

You've won a cash prize of $5.000.

All right.

I just got win number two.

I feel on top of the world.

Kandy Muse.

You are safe.

Thank you, girl! Bye!

LaLa Ri. Your runway look

earned you high marks,

but your rainbow flag was flying at half mast.

You're safe.

Thank you.

That means Denali, Kahmora Hall,

I'm sorry, my dears, but you are up for elimination.

I was all the way at the top

and now all the way at the bottom?

Seriously?

Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is your last chance to impress me

and save yourself from elimination.

The time has come...

for you to lip sync...

for your life!

I know have to kill this lip sync,

not only to fight for my position in this competition,

but to prove to these girls

that have never seen me in my element

that I'm an actual threat,

and that if any of them go against me, its over.

Good luck, and don't fuck it up.

♪ It's 12 past midnight, don't close your eyes ♪

♪ Your soul's half alive, and I'll be by your side ♪

♪ I've come to take you there ♪

♪ Show you how to care ♪

♪ I want your love ♪

♪ I want it tonight ♪

♪ I'm taking your heart, so don't you fight ♪

♪ I'll be your answer, I'll be your wish ♪

♪ I'll be your fantasy, your favorite dish ♪

♪ From the back to the middle and around again ♪

♪ I'm gonna be there till the end ♪

♪ 100% pure love ♪

♪ From the back to the middle and around again... ♪

I have this heavy-ass train on me,

I can barely move, but the show must go on.

♪ You'll never have to run away ♪

♪ You'll always have a friend to play ♪

♪ You'll never go out on your own ♪

♪ In me you will find a home ♪

♪ A home ♪

♪ From the back to the middle and around again ♪

♪ I'm gonna be there till the end ♪

♪ 100% pure love ♪

♪ From the back to the middle and around again ♪

♪ I'm gonna be there till the end ♪

♪ 100% pure love ♪

♪ And back to the middle and back to the middle ♪

♪ And back to the middle and back to the middle ♪

♪ And back to the middle and back to the middle ♪

♪ And back to the middle and back to the middle ♪

♪ And back to the middle and back to the middle ♪

♪ Don't you know it, don't you want it ♪

♪ Don't you know it, don't you want it ♪

♪ You always have a friend to play-play-play ♪

♪ Play-play-play-play-play ♪

♪ Play-play-play-play-play ♪

♪ Not 10, not 20, more than 30, baby ♪

♪ I'm giving 100% pure love ♪

Denali, that was 100% pure fun.

- Thank you. - Shantay you stay.

That was so much fun to watch.

I pity the fool that has to go up against you.

You may join the other girls.

Thank you.

Kahmora Hall.

Now, while you are leaving us too soon,

you will always be a part of the Drag Race family tree.

Now sashay away.

Thank you so much for this opportunity.

Thank you all.

Kahmora!

From the House of Hall!

I am going through, like, a mix of emotions.

I faced a lot of my inner demons during the competition.

In the end, I let my nerves get the best of me.

At the same time, I'm so grateful for the opportunity.

I've done things I never thought I could do.

My biggest lesson learned

is that I need to believe in myself.

If you follow your dreams and passions,

everything will fall into place.

Con-drag-ulations, ladies.

And remember, if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an "amen" up in here?

- Amen! - Amen!

All right, now let the music play.

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

Next time on RuPaul's Drag Race...

We're throwing a bag ball.

Do you think you have this one in the bag?

Of course, I don't know how to sew.

Okay.

This is frightening, and I'm entertained.

It was just stunning.

I can tell by looking at this you're not the sewer.

I thought Elliott should have been in the bottom.

No, no, no. No, no, no.

If y'all feel that that is shade,

then that's on y'all.

No, I gotta bring you down a little bit now.

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ Losers, weepers ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ Finders, keepers ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ Losers, weepers ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

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