All language subtitles for Freaky Stories - 3x01 - Double Your Pleasure Deep Forest Diver Hocus Pocus The Prize_Legendas01.ENG

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One iddy-biddy
baby step for mankind.

One giant step
for us maggots.

What are you talkin' about?

And what's that
space helmet?

Well, you have to wear one
when you're out in space.

Duh!

I went to talk to
a maggot on Venus.

He imagines he goes places.

This is not my imagination.
And I'll prove it.

I set up a remote camera...

On Venus?

Well, if you want to
talk to a maggot on Venus,

would I set up a
camera on Saturn?

Ugh. Here's a Freaky Story.

And then...

The Venus maggot!

[SIGH]
Yeah.

This is a true story.

It happened to a
friend of a friend of mine,

Special Agent Wolf
Muddler and his partner,

Special Agent Deena
Skelly.

Muddler and Skelly were
called into the office of

Deputy Director Spanner and
were given an assignment.

Investigate a forest
fire deep in the

cascade mountains.

Objective: uncover the
identity of a man

found unconscious at the scene,
dangling from a charred

tree, outfitted in
full scuba gear.

And there was no body of
water for miles around.

Since the case
defied explanation,

it fell into the
category of the Y-Files.

Muddler and Skelly set
off for the mountains,

once again at odds
from the outset.

Muddler was ready to accept
any weird supernatural

explanation
while his partner,

Skelly, was pragmatic and
assumed there would be a

sound, scientific solution.

When the man in scuba gear
regained consciousness,

he was interrogated
by the agents.

He seemed to be
suffering from amnesia.

The local Sheriff
asserted his authority

and arrested the man.

Charged him with arson,
since he was found at the

scene of what had been
a large forest fire.

Ollie, the
Sheriff's ten year old son,

said he might know where
the mystery man came from.

But the Sheriff was
too busy to listen...

he was working
with the F.B.I.,

an honor not available
to many law enforcement

officers.

So the Sheriff, even
though his son was with him,

tried to ignore the boy,
kind of pretend he wasn't

there, so as not to
distract the investigators,

which in this
case included him,

from solving the mystery.

Muddler and Skelly began
their forensic investigation

of the scene...

in the dark,
working with flashlights.

And, as always,
there was fog.

They could have
gone in daylight,

but Muddler and Skelly like
to add a touch of mystery

to every, um, mystery.

And flashlight beams spiking
through the night had become

their trademark.

The Sheriff tagged
along, not just to be in the

proximity of the
big time agents.

He really hoped
he could help.

And Ollie, no matter what
excuse his dad could make to

have him stay at home,
tagged along as well,

just for the fun of it.

The agents found the area
to be damp and soggy

and scattered with fragments
of Pacific Salmon.

Did the man expect to
barbecue the salmon?

Did he get all done
up in his scuba gear

for the occasion?

Was he
expecting a heavy rain?

Ollie stood near by and,
as the agents voiced their

theories, shook his head.

Of course, his dad reminded
everyone he was just a kid,

so no one paid
any attention.

It was at this point that
Agent Muddler sought an

answer to a more
immediate question:

How does a guy keep from
starving around here?

The Sheriff suggested
Ollie take Muddler

into town to see what
they could find.

And maybe, Skelly suggested,
he could pick up a pizza.

Ollie shook his
head and he said,

"The pizza stinks."

His dad dismissed the
comment, noting,

"He doesn't know,
he's just a kid."

While Muddler
and Ollie were gone,

Agent Skelly found the
mystery man's wallet.

It seems he was
an oceanographer.

If he was he studying the
plight of Pacific Salmon,

why was he in the forest?

The mystery was becoming
more and more mysterious.

Muddler returned with
Ollie and the pizza

which, as Ollie had
indicated, stunk.

The kid knew his pizza.

Even if he was
"only a kid."

Then Muddler
reeled off his theory.

The oceanographer had
somehow tied the depletion

of the Pacific Salmon
stock to forest fires.

He possibly suspected,
Muddler suggested,

that the salmon were being
transported to the forest by

aliens in order to
develop a salmon hybrid.

A half-salmon,
half grizzly bear.

The aliens would end up with
a bear who would never go

hungry because he
could eat himself.

Ollie listened
with great interest.

As most ten year olds,
he was fascinated

with science fiction.

Still, when Muddler or
Skelly would express one of

their theories, Ollie
would shake his head, no.

Skelly had a
scientific explanation.

Perhaps there was an
underground river,

right under the forest, and
the oceanographer got caught

in it while
researching his salmon.

Then the forest fire
caused the river to boil,

shooting a jet stream
- and the diver -

up onto the charred trees.

This theory was punctuated by
another head shake from Ollie.

Muddler and Skelly
had reached a dead end.

Neither agent could come
up with another theory.

As they stared into
space despondently,

their eyes fell on Ollie.

Why not ask Ollie?

The kid knew stuff.

He was right
about the pizza.

Ollie said he was
impressed by their theories,

but what
actually happened was,

the water all around
them came from one of those

planes that picks up water
from the ocean and dumps it

on forest fires.

This time, it
picked up the diver,

who was in the ocean, and
dumped him on the fire,

along with the water.

This is a true story.

It happened to a
friend of a friend of mine,

Special Agent Wolf
Muddler, and his partner

Deena Skelly, who returned to
headquarters to place the

case in their Y-Files...

as in "Why didn't
I think of that?"

Or did you?

Hello.
Venus Maggot.

Can you hear me?

Loud and clear.

I gotta say, you look exactly
like I expected you to look.

All Venus Maggots
don't look like me.

Some are pink, some
are kind of orange,

some are bluish.

Bluish?

Some of my best
friends are bluish.

Tell me, what do you do?

I'm in gromlick school.

You know, studying
to be a gromlick.

Gromlick?

Yeah, gromlick, you
know, they look in maggot's

mouths, look in
maggot's ears.

Play golf every Wednesday...

Doctor!
You're a doctor.

Makes my mother proud.

And I get to meet
nice bluish girls.

Is it time for
another Freaky Story?

This is a true story.

It happened to a friend
of a friend of mine...

two of them.

They were really
closer than friends.

Barry and Harry.

Identical twins.

From the beginning, Barry
and Harry were always doing

the "twin thing",
pretending to be each other,

especially when
things went wrong.

And with these
fun-loving twins,

something always did.

A broken window, a
flooded basement.

a chocolate-covered cat.

It was hard to prove,
beyond a reasonable doubt,

which one was guilty.

By the time they
went off to university,

they registered as
one student, Barry.

So only one of them had to be
in class at any one time.

They were pretty smart, so
one being in class only half

the time, while his twin
brother was sleeping in,

worked just fine.

Barry was a wiz in
English and History.

Harry aced math and science.

Depending on how
you look at it,

Barry, or Barry
and Harry, was,

or were, phi beta cappa.

And when "Barry" got a part time
job at the burger joint, he...

only one of them, I
couldn't tell who,

would have to show up at
work while the other had the

luxury of sleeping in.

It was in their senior
year that Barry --

the actual, real Barry --
fell in love with Carrie,

the loveliest, brightest,
wittiest girl he ever met.

And the loveliest, brightest,
wittiest girl Harry ever met.

Oh yeah, the twins did their
"thing" with Carrie too.

You see, Carrie had what they
like to call "eclectic taste".

You know, she liked all
sorts of very different

kinds of things.

Carrie loved the ballet.

Barry hated the ballet.

Fortunately,
Harry enjoyed it.

Off they would go,
Carrie and Harry,

to watch a guy in tights throw
some skinny girl around.

Carrie also
enjoyed good jazz.

And Harry, well,
he didn't dig it.

Barry, on the other
hand, was totally cool.

So Barry and Carrie spent
many a night in some club

listening to the
mellow strains of a

moody saxophone.

On Hockey Night, Carrie
would be in front of the TV

with Harry.

World Series time, it
was Carrie and Barry

watching the games.

At the gym, it was
Carrie and Harry.

At a poetry
reading, Carrie and Barry.

Although Carrie didn't know
she was dating two guys,

it worked out
pretty well for her too.

Whatever she liked to do--
Carrie's "boyfriend",

one of them, would
like it too.

Carrie was sure she
would never find anyone

with such similar taste.

So when Barry (I think
it was actually Barry)

asked her to marry
him, she said, "Yes."

Barry and
Harry were thrilled.

Not only because they would
have such a wonderful wife,

but with the system they
had going they could be more

attentive than most husbands
and still spend lots of time

"out with the boys."

Now, watching all
this happening -- oh yes,

I watched it all, very
closely indeed --

I have to say, I thought there
was something wrong with it.

I don't know, I couldn't see
such a nice girl like Carrie

being fooled like that.

But things have a
way of working out.

You see, by the time the
wedding day rolled around,

Barry and Harry had their "twin
thing" worked out perfectly.

So perfectly, they...

one of them, could get
through a day of quality

time together with
Carrie at the gym,

a picnic, a foreign film
and a midnight snack...

while spending the same
day alone at the race track,

a football game and
a wrestling match.

Barry and Harry
got so good at it,

they could handle
their schedules

without even thinking.

Eveything
became instinctive.

But sometimes when
you stop thinking,

your instinct can
get you in trouble.

As did Barry's.

Oh yeah, AND
Harry's instinct too.

They were so "intense" they
fouled up in the same way.

Barry thought Harry would
be the groom at the wedding.

Harry thought Barry
would be the groom.

So Barry was at a baseball
game while Harry

was at the art museum...

while Carrie was
at the church.

Alone.

From the museum, Harry
called Barry to find out how

the wedding was going.

"Wedding??? Aren't YOU
at the wedding???"

"YIKES!!!"

Both of them made a
mad dash for the church.

Poor Carrie, they thought.

How embarrassing to be
left at the altar.

But when Berry and Harry,
both panicked [GASP]

and out of breath [GASP]

finally showed up [GASP]

there was Carrie,
leaving the church,

on the arm of her new
husband, Larry...

who looked
EXACTLY like Barry...

or Harry, if you like.

This was a true story.

Happened to a friend
of a friend of mine.

Actually two
friends, Barry and Harry.

Okay, they were
closer than friends.

They were my brothers.

That's right, "brothers."

You see Barry,
Harry, and me,

Larry, we were triplets...

and I was the one
separated at birth.

Are you still there?

Well, until my
saucer comes along.

I'm going to visit
my friend on Mars.

Ain't that the red planet?

Well, you know
what makes it red?

Tell our audience, why
is the planet Mars red?

Ketchup.

Ketchup?

Are you sure you're
a maggot from Venus?

What do I look like?

You look my idiot sidekick.

Hey!
Who's an idiot?

You are.

Now get yourself back here.

Beam me to the set, Scottie.

We'll figure this out right
after our next Freaky Story.

This is a true story.

It happened to a
friend of a friend of mine,

a guy in high
school named Daryl,

a nice enough guy.

But he had a few
strikes against him.

First of all he was cheap,
second he wore glasses

thicker than the lens
of the Hubble telescope,

and worst of all, he
was downright vain!

Which is hard to do
when you look geeky.

But when Daryl
looked in the mirror,

with his inch-thick glasses
on - which had to be on

so he could see himself -
what Daryl saw was a hunk.

On weekends Daryl tried his
best to be a "chick magnet".

One weekend while at
the amusement park,

Daryl bumped into a
girl named Brittany.

Literally, bumped into her.

His glasses were gone, as
was his pocket protector,

and even his
"Bill Gates" hairdo.

Brittany asked him
where his glasses were.

Fighting back a squint,
he said he really didn't

need glasses at all.

But Daryl still very
much needed his specs,

but he figured his chances of
meeting girls were better

without them.

Whenever Brittany
wasn't looking,

he'd sneak his glasses
on to get his bearings.

Just as quick, he'd
whip them off before

she could catch him.

Glasses or no glasses, Daryl's
true wimpiness came out.

They rode the kiddy
merry-go-round

and Daryl screamed.

They rode the
little rowboats,

and Daryl screamed.

They rode the ponies, and...

yes Daryl screamed.

Bored with all
the kiddy rides,

Brittany suggested they go
on a ride which actually

warranted some screams.

The roller coaster.

Daryl was dead
set against it,

especially after sneaking a peak
at it with his glasses on.

But all Brittany had to do
was question his masculinity

and "Mr. Macho" caved in.

They got on the coaster.

From the moment
they boarded,

before they even
moved an inch,

Daryl screamed.

And when they started, he
shrieked and screeched

some more.

And then when they were at
the very top of the tallest

peak of the
ride, Brittany said,

"hey look, you can
see for miles up here!"

That got Daryl's attention.

He stopped
screaming for a second,

whipped on his specs and
took a good long look.

While he was gazing, the
coaster wizzed down the

steep drop, It
dove with such speed,

the wind whipped
off Daryl's glasses.

They just flew away.

After the ride Daryl
was wobbling around

in a pool of tears and slobber.

Brittany finally had
her fill of Daryl ...

and she split.

Daryl was
completely dejected.

Without his glasses he
couldn't even glance in a

shop window and imagine
his reflection

was not a wimpy nerd.

One of the midway "carnys"
saw Daryl feeling his way

around and felt
sorry for him.

He knew a guy
who couldn't see,

couldn't hit the broad side
of a barn with a baseball.

So he offered Daryl three
throws for free to knock

over the three milk bottles.

I guess luck
finally found Daryl.

Daryl obliterated every
one of those milk bottles!

The carny couldn't believe
it and reluctantly

handed over that week's prize:
one real, live turtle.

The overjoyed and highly
nearsighted Daryl grabbed

the prize without even
realizing what it was and

ran off before the
carny could tell him

how to take care of it!

Two weeks later, Daryl was
at the amusement park again,

and for a second time,
he bumped into Brittany.

Only this time he could see.

He had a brand new
pair of designer glasses.

Remembering the
embarrassment of the last

time she tried to
give him the brush off,

they were both a
bit uncomfortable.

But Daryl assured Brittany
that he would keep his

glasses on, and said
that he was going to

"treat her to a free lunch".

Well Brittany was hungry
and Daryl was so pitiful.

w\Why not?

For once Daryl
was being generous!

Well, kinda.

First he hurried back
to the same throwing game.

Assuming that his lack
of vision was the trick

last time, Daryl
removed his glasses.

He wound up and sure enough,
threw three perfect pitches

knocking off the milk
bottles, a second time!

Brittany was impressed.

Daryl slipped his
glasses back on and beamed.

The Carny begrudgingly
handed him

a stuffed teddy bear.

Daryl looked very
disappointed and blurted out

that he wanted the same
prize he won the week before

a delicious chicken sandwich
on a crusty kaiser roll!

This is a true story.

It happened to a friend of
a friend of mine, Daryl.

He's not so vain
about his glasses now,

he wears them all the time.

Even when he sleeps.

No, that was
you on the monitor.

Can't be, because I'm me.

Will you stop tryin'
to fool the audience.

Hey, Maurice, next time bring
me a pastrami sandwich.

How about
another Freaky Story?

This is a true story.

It happened to a
friend of a friend of mine,

The Amazing Miranda,
back when she was fifteen.

That's what Miranda called
herself when she put on her

tuxedo and top hat to do her
magic act for little kids'

birthday parties.

And, uh, truth is, she
was pretty amazing.

Regular magician stuff.

But she did it pretty good.

Every kid in the
neighborhood wanted

The Amazing Miranda to
perform at their party.

At one nine-year-old's
birthday party,

Miranda was putting
on a spectacular show.

The kids were going wild.

After the party, Baxter,
one of the kids there,

told Miranda that he thought
she was the most amazing

magician he had ever seen...

which Miranda,
like any magician,

liked to hear.

Besides, Baxter, with
his bright orange hair,

was so sweet,
flashing a big toothy smile.

And to make it all
so much sweeter,

Baxter asked for
Miranda's autograph.

She thought that was so cool

to actually have
like a fan club.

Okay, a fan club of one.

So Baxter begged Miranda
to tell him how she did

the pulling a rabbit
from her hat trick,

Miranda, who thought Baxter
was the cutest little thing,

couldn't resist.

She showed him the
false bottom of her top hat,

where she hid the rabbit.

Miranda would soon learn
what every magician knows:

no matter how cute
your big fan is,

never, never-ever tell
anybody how a trick is done.

At the very next
party, Baxter was there.

He got up, just when Miranda
was about to pull the rabbit

from her hat and he
just blurted it all out.

You know, about the
false bottom of her top hat.

You see, behind
the freckles,

Baxter was a
nasty, jealous brat.

Still, with his big smile
and his big eyes and his

totally
innocent kind of look,

he was able to
get Miranda again.

Baxter said he was sorry.

That little redhead
could make himself look all

ashamed, so when he
apologized to Miranda,

she kind of melted.

And he said he didn't know
what came over him and he'd

never do anything
like that again.

And then he had the
nerve to ask Miranda

to show him how she did
the Chinese ring trick.

Can you imagine?

Miranda may have
been amazing sometimes,

but she was also
not very bright...

sometimes.

She actually showed Baxter
the secret separation in one

of the rings and how she
kept her thumb over it to

hide it while she slipped
the other rings through.

And wouldn't you know it,
her next party was for

nine year olds.

And who was there?

Your guessed it.

Nasty little, freckle-faced,
red-headed Baxter,

flashing his big toothy
fake smile and batting his

big innocent-looking eyes.

He stood right up and
told all the kids how

Miranda did the ring trick.

And the kids, well they
got a little less amazed

with Miranda's magic powers.

Then, if you
can believe it,

Baxter apologized to
Miranda... again.

And he swore he wouldn't
do it again... again.

And what did Miranda do?

She forgave him.

That's when Baxter
went a little too far.

Miranda did this trick
where she put a bird in a

box, made some kind
of red puff of smoke

and the bird would disappear.

It was a weird-looking bird,
black feathers and a very

long beak.

Sort of like Larry Jacobs who
used to live around here.

And good riddance, since all
Larry did was annoy Miranda.

Anyway, no big
surprise at this point,

Baxter asked Miranda how she did
the disappearing bird trick.

Without the
slightest bit of hesitation,

she told him that there's
this red button on the back

of the box.

And when you push it, you
can see how the fake walls

flip in to hide the bird.

"So whatever you
do," she warned Baxter,

"Don't touch that button."

Next party...

everything went pretty much
the same as it went all the

other times
Miranda did her act.

Only this time, when
Baxter jumped up to say,

"I know how she makes
the bird disappear,

Miranda didn't
seem too upset.

Baxter ran up to the box
with the weird bird in it...

and he pushed
the red button.

And POOF!

A puff of smoke.
Baxter was gone.

Disappeared.

The kids applauded and
hooted and hollered.

It was a great trick.

Miranda was truly amazing.

This is a true story.

It happened to a
friend of a friend of mine,

The Amazing Miranda, who I
found out later spends most

nights in her basement, over
a bubbling cauldron mixing

spirit plasma with eye
of newt and wing of bat,

cooking up a brew to
feed her new bird...

The one with the red
hair and freckles

and a big toothy smile.

I guess you were right.

Mars is the red planet.

Oh, I'm not on Mars,
I'm in another diner,

under the heat lamp.

YIKES!!!

[LAUGH]

¶¶¶