All language subtitles for Freaky Stories - 2x12 - The Man Who Picked His Brain The Big Question Smelly Kelly Go Find Something to Do, Kid!_Legendas01.ENG

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Hey!
Guess what we found today?

An old tape of
'Freaky Stories'!

Yeah, actually, the first
tape of the first show...

a long, long time ago.

Hi. How're ya doin'?
-Welcome to the show.

More of the good old
days after this next

superb Freaky Story.

This is a true story.

It happened to a friend of
a friend of mine - Jerry.

I guess he saw too many
episodes of "Space Base Mars",

cause sometimes you just
gotta ask yourself,

is it paranormal, or
am I just paranoid?

He had this crazy idea
that there were monsters

hiding everywhere.

Jerry was taking Leonard,
for a walk in that creepy

old park on Mulberry Street.

Leonard was doing his
business in the bushes,

as usual, and Jerry was
waiting around for him to

finish...when he
heard a strange noise.

He peeked through the
bushes and he nearly had a

conniption!

Y'see, there...in
the park...was a UFO!

A spaceship from
another world!

And coming out of the spaceship
were brain suckin' ALIENS!

"Oh man! Aliens! Just
like the one's on TV!"

Jerry freaked!

He started to run, but
Leonard was still doing his

business, so Jerry sorta
dragged him on his leash as

he ran down the street.

He had to find his
pals, Mickey and Pete.

Jerry burst
through the door.

"Hey guys!", he screamed.

Only they couldn't hear him
over all the noise of the

pinball game
they were playing.

"What did ya do that
for?", they yelled.

Boy, were they mad.

"In the park! There's aliens!
From another World!"

"ALIENS?!", screamed Mickey.

"From another
world?", hollered Pete.

The three of them
were outta there.

And Leonard too.

But when they got
back to the park,

the spaceship was gone.

"You're nothing but a
goof, Ya know that?",

said Mickey.

"And you owe me a quarter
for the pinball game".

So Jerry and
Leonard went home.

The next night, Jerry took
Leonard to the park again.

Boy, would they be sorry
when he captured the aliens,

single-handed.

He was really gonna show
those guys a thing or two.

They were sneaking
looks through the bushes.

And there, plain as day, in
the middle of the baseball

diamond, was the
alien spaceship!

Jerry and Leonard crawled
into the alien disguise that

they'd made at home
out of paper maché.

Leonard was on top, on
account of...he didn't have

any hands...so he'd
have to be the 'head'.

Then they
infiltrated the alien ship.

They made their way
past the alien guards,

and up the ramp to the space
inside the flying saucer.

That's when Jerry saw it.

He thought, why
not?, so he swiped it.

And that's when
the aliens saw him!

They tore through the
hatch and down the ramp

into the park.

But the brain-suckin'
aliens from another world

were in hot pursuit.

Jerry turned around, and
remembering the deadly kick

they use on
"Space Base Mars",

stopped the aliens
in their tracks.

Jerry and Leonard ran
like crazy through the park.

They made it to the road,
just as a police car

pulled up.

"Help! Please Help!",
screamed Jerry.

"What's the matter, son?",
asked the nice Policeman.

"A flying saucer! Invaders...!
From another galaxy!

There, in the park!

"Now calm down, son",
said the police officer,

"they're just making
a movie over there."

But...we stole a...deathray!

Proof that they exist!"

"STOLE?!", said
the first Policeman,

kinda suspiciously.

"You'd better
give that to me.",

said the second officer, as
Jerry handed over the gizmo.

"Just as I
thought", said the officer.

"This is a prop
from the movie."

"Son, I'd say it's
way past your bedtime.

We'd better get you on
home.", said the cop.

"We'd better get it back
to the movie crew.

They'll be needing this."

The policemen dropped Jerry
and Leonard off at their

house and watched
as they went inside.

"Phew!", said one
of the policemen.

"That was close!", said the
other as he ripped off

his rubber mask.

This is a true story.

It happened to a
friend of a friend of mine.

And Jerry?

He still
watches too much TV,

but now, he walks
Leonard in a different park.

Freaky Stories,
the early years.

Eh, hi.
Hi there.

My name's Larry and I'm
gonna be your host...

What do mean, you're
gonna be the host?

I-I'm gonna be the host!

No, no, no, because
you ain't, you ain't.

A host has gotta be dignified
and calm and cool...

All of which I am.
Here, I'm gonna show you.

Huh, okay.
Okay.

Hel-lo, ladies
and gentlemen.

Welcome t--
[ACHOO]

Sorry.

[SIGH] Welcome to Freaky
St-- Fre-...Fre-

Freaky Stories!

Freaky Stories are
urban legends...

These stories -- have been
-- gathered -- [SNEEZING]

WILL YOU CUT
THAT OUT!

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!!!

Here comes the
next Freaky Story.

Can I be the sidekick?...

This is a true story.

It happened to a
friend of a friend of mine.

Only the names have been
changed to protect a certain

person from complete and
utter social disgrace.

Mike and Janet, or
so we'll call them,

were an odd match,
if I dare say so.

Mike was a cop, a
very conscientious and

confidential type.

Janet wrote a column for the
society page and couldn't

keep a secret if her
life depended on it.

If you ask me, it was just
one of many social graces

that eluded her.

Mike was working his way up
through the ranks to become

a detective - first class.

Very serious about
his job, believe me.

Janet was much more of
a social butterfly,

or a shark, depending
on who you talked to.

Secrets were her
life's work...and passion.

If there was an event
worth attending in the city,

Janet knew all about it and
expected an invitation

with plenty of advance
notice to shuffle

her busy social schedule.

When she got an invitation
to the big masquerade ball,

she thought it was an
absolutely fabulous way to

dig up dirt...in disguise!

And a great way to get
Mike out of uniform

and into the swing of things.

Janet had to go alone
to rent her costume.

Mike said he had an
urgent case to attend to and

suggested they pick out
their costumes separately

and surprise each other.

Janet loved surprises and
thought this idea was simply

marvelous...and romantic.

She was always
looking for ways to

spice up their marriage.

But, it wasn't long before
Janet's curious nature

got the best of her.

After tearing the house
apart looking for it,

Janet guessed that Mike
probably hadn't picked up

his costume yet.

Then the telephone rang.

She hoped it was someone
with a secret to share,

but it turned out
to be just a fax.

It was a picture of a
gruesome Mr. Hyde type,

as in Dr. Jeckyll, you know?

At first Janet
was grossed out,

but then it dawned on her.

It must be the costume
rental shop letting Mike

know his costume was ready.

Just then Mike came home,
so Janet put the fax back -

satisfied that she
knew his little secret.

But Mike had bad news.

He was assigned to a
particularly tough case

and couldn't make the
masquerade ball after all.

At the ball, Janet was
getting a tad peeved that

no one was revealing
their identity.

After all, how was she going
to gossip about them if she

couldn't figure
out who they were?

Then she spotted
Mike in his costume.

She figured he must've been
trying to surprise her

all along.

He played up the Mr.
Hyde routine to the hilt,

so Janet decided not
to spoil his surprise.

Together they were
the life of the party,

dancing and
swaying the night away.

Then they slipped
out on the patio

in the romantic night air.

And before long they
were behaving just like

teenagers!

But they were rudely
interrupted by some other

couples and Mike
disappeared into the night.

Now Janet went after him,
but she couldn't find him

anywhere.

When Janet got home,
Mike came in the door

soon after her.

She was surprised to see him
back in his uniform already.

Mike didn't have a clue
what she was talking about,

but was relieved to
see that she was safe.

He'd been on patrol all
night tracking a homicidal

maniac on the
loose in the area.

Janet got very
quiet and very pale.

She realized the man at the
party wasn't Mike at all...

it was the insane killer!

You should've seen the look
on her face when Mike asked,

"Did you have
fun at the party?"

This is a true story.

It happened to a
friend of a friend of mine.

Janet, who for once
in her life was able

to keep a secret.

And this is how I got even.

Hey, good news
about the buy-out eh?

Oh, oh!

Okay, now that
that's outta the way.

Our next Freaky Story...
-[BELCH]

Our next...
-[BELCH]

our next Freaky Story's on...
-[NOSE BLOWING]

Okay -- the next -- story oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh...

This is a true story.

It happened to a friend of
a friend of mine, Todd.

He was polite,
obedient, respectful

and courteous, and he
wasn't even a Boy Scout.

Boy, did he make the
rest of us look bad!

But Todd's parents
were thrilled with him.

See, if perfect little
Todd met with his Great-Aunt

Hortense's approval,
Mom and Dad just might

inherit her fortune.

So, just before Todd's first
visit to his Great-Aunt's

for dinner, his parents made
it clear that Todd was to be

on his best behaviour,
or no more allowance.

Now for me, good behaviour
would be not mentioning that

Great-Aunt Hortense looked
like Boris Karloff in a

gingham dress.

But Todd was so
polite to his Great-Aunt,

he didn't even mention
that he was allergic

to her perfume.

Of course, when she went
to give Todd a great big

welcoming hug, Todd
accidentally let loose with

a huge, wet sneeze
and Great-Aunt 'H'

got totally slimed.

That's where
politeness gets you...

but things got worse.

See, Todd isn't so
great under pressure,

so when he tried
to set the table,

he accidentally dropped
the gravy boat on Great-Aunt

Hortense's
priceless lace tablecloth.

To be fair, he did try
to cover the stain

with a plate.

Then things got really bad.

See, Todd's least favourite
food in the world

is baked beans.

So what did Great-Aunt
Hortense serve along side

the main dish of
cabbage and hamhocks?!

A huge pile of baked beans.

Her late husband,
Alby, had loved them,

so she still served
them with every meal.

Now Todd's parents had made
it clear...he had to enjoy

his Great-Aunt's
cooking, no matter what!

So, Todd being a good boy,
he decided to eat all his

baked beans first and
get 'em out of the way.

He kept shoveling them
into his mouth 'til he got

through 'em all.

At last the ordeal
was over, until

Great-Aunt Hortense spoke up.

"I knew you'd love my
special baked beans,"

she said, beaming.

And before Todd had a
chance to stop her,

she proudly plopped another
whole plate full in

front of him!

Obedient, courteous
Todd had to eat his beans.

Again!

But when nobody was looking,
baked beans got hidden in

vases, in his mom's purse,
even in the dog's bowl!

But even with all his
ingenious hiding places,

Todd still had to
eat a LOT of beans.

By now he was putting forth
a super human effort just to

keep all that baked
bean gas inside him.

Todd hid the rest of his
beans by putting his napkin

on top of his plate.

But when Great-Aunt Hortense
came by to collect his

plate, her perfume
made Todd sneeze again...

"Oh!" said Great-Aunt Hortense,
"I guess you didn't like my

special baked beans
that much after all..."

Have I mentioned
that Todd is courteous,

respectful,
blah, blah, blah?

Todd had been
respectfully, obediently,

courteously and politely
holding it in for the entire

evening.

But that final combination
of beans and pop sent his

gas levels beyond
the threshold of human

endurance.

He tried to stop it but...

His intestinal system let
loose with a gas explosion

that practically
leveled Hortense's mansion!

Well, Todd figured he
had blown his parents'

inheritance...literally.

But then he saw Great-Aunt
Hortense crawling out from

under the table with
a smile on her face.

See, it turned out
her late husband,

Alby, spent time overseas,
where some folks break wind

as a polite way of
saying thanks for the grub.

Alby had thanked Hortense
in his own way every night

for thirty-eight years...but
Todd's thunderous thank-you

topped them all.

Great-Aunt
Hortense was so touched,

she decided to leave her
entire fortune to Todd!

This is a true story.

It happened to a
friend of a friend of mine,

Todd, who is currently
teaching his parents to be

polite, courteous,
obedient and respectful...

or else they won't
get their allowance.

See you guys next time.
-Good night everybody.

See you guys next time.
-Good night everybody.

[GIGGLES]
The more things change...

The more they stay the same.

This is a true story.

It happened to a
friend of a friend of mine,

Zeke, Old Man
Murch's farmhand.

Now, Old Man Murch
was a piece of work.

Here was a guy so cheap,
he wouldn't even

buy fertilizer.

He just worked out where he
rented it from somewhere.

Not to mention he had a
reputation as the smelliest

man in Scorch County.

Okay, so there was this
huge pond on Old Man Murch's

land...a real
rarity in Scorch County.

It would have been an
ideal swimmin' hole.

Except, Old Man Murch
was an ornery old cuss.

He didn't want ANYBODY to go
near his pond and he warned

Zeke that if he ever
caught anyone in it,

they'd be in deep doo-doo.

Sometimes after a long day
of schleppin' and slidin',

Zeke was sorely tempted, but
he saw what happened to kids

from the town who
tried to sneak in and go

skinny-dippin'.

A kid would hardly get over
the fence before Old Man

Murch would start runnin'
at úem with his pitchfork...

and believe you me, the
kid would soon get

Old Man Murch's point!

Zeke never once went
for a swim in that pond.

In fact, he worked there
until Old Man Murch died

during that cold spell
we had some time ago,

back when the temperature fell
below a hundred degrees.

Now, as his employee, it was
Zeke's final duty to carry

out the Old
Man's last wishes,

which were these...

Old Man Murch wanted to be
buried beside his house.

Then, after he was buried,
no one was ever to set foot

on his property again.

Especially, no one was
ever to swim in his pond,

or else, to paraphrase
the old man's favourite

expression, they'd
be in 'deep doo-doo'.

Pretty weird, thought Zeke.

So the very next morning,
the whole county was there,

hoistin' up the old
man's coffin with a winch.

After all the effort they
put into just diggin'

the hole, Zeke and the other
townfolk were ready to fall

into that grave out
of pure exhaustion.

The old man's water
hole began to look

mighty inviting.

Even if some people's
strongest association

with it was a memory of a
pitchfork comin' straight at

their gluteus
nether regions.

But it was so hot
and, let's face it,

there's no way Old Man Murch
could stop him from going in

that pond now.

So even though Zeke had an
obligation to see that the

Old Man's last wishes were
carried out to the letter...

well, Zeke striped to his
skivvies and cannonballed

himself into Murch's pond!

Now, to this day, residents
of Scorch County claim it

was the most sudden
storm they ever saw.

Fact is, we get so
few clouds around here,

some say it's the only
storm they ever saw.

And Zeke later swore that
one of the cloud formations

looked just like the
face of Old Man Murch.

But whatever
people say they saw,

the fact is, the wind just
whipped right in and ripped

out the winch cable that
was holding up the

old man's coffin!

The coffin came crashing
down and smashed into a

switch on the
side of the house.

The switch that was attached
to the old man's fertilizer

pipeline - the
county's main sewage pipe!

Suddenly, sewage
spewed everywhere,

flooding Old Man Murch's
field faster than Ted's

three-alarm chili
fills up the washroom

at the local diner.

And the sewage
kept a-comin'.

That's when Zeke realized
that Old Man Murch made good

on his threat.

He was in deep
doo-doo...literally!

This is a true story.

Happened to a friend
of a friend of mine,

Zeke, who always said,
if life hands you lemons,

make lemonade.

And considering
what life handed him,

I guess that's why today,
he's a fertilizer salesman.

Okay, this here letter is
from Mikey in Winnipeg.

Dear Larry, [AHEM]
I'm doing real bad in math.

Any suggestions on
how I could improve?

Well. Mikey, just for you,
we have invited the world's

smartest math genius, Professor
Sir Wilfred Logarithm.

The hypotenuse square root
of pi plus the concentric

parallelogram equals the
tangent of the isosceles

quadrant to the Nth power.

I'm getting the feeling
you don't know what you're

talking about.

[GASP] You think I'm
a phony baloney?

How much is
forty-six times fifty-seven?

None of your business.

The square root
of eighty-two?

Who wants to know?

I give up.

The least you can do
is tell Mikey how to

improve in math.

Oh, elementary.

When the teacher calls on
you and you don't know the

answer, you say, "Oh!
Behind you! A mouse!"

And, when she turns around,
you look for the answer

in the back of your book!

Right, well,
there you go, Mikey.

Need any more
advice, just write.

Bye.

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