All language subtitles for Freaky Stories - 2x10 - The Iron Fist Principal Field of Seeds Last Laugh The Immortal Osgood Toadworthy_Legendas01.ENG

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Let's see...

Maurice: Larry? Are
you out there?

Okay, here we go.

[LAUGH]
Yeah!

Maurice, buddy ol' pal, come
here.

Take a look at...THIS!

Uh, oh.
I'm in trouble now.

Staring...

Yeah, a maggot can't be
hypnotized.

You're wasting your time,
you know,

no matter how hard you
try...[SNORING]

[LAUGH]

You are now under my
control.

When you wake up, you will
think you're a...chicken.

This is a true story.

It happened to a friend of a
friend of mine...

Arlo had it.

He had it real bad.

It...it was the NEED.

The Need for SPEED.

Let me explain it to you.

You see, ever since Arlo was
a little boy,

he had this
compulsion to go faster.

It started the day when he
was just a little baby and

his Mama lost hold of his
stroller.

Little-Baby-Arlo went
a-flying down that hill on

Main Street, Mama and
everyone in hot pursuit.

Now when they caught up with
him,

little Baby Arlo was just
fine.

When Mama scooped him out of
the stroller,

little Baby Arlo said the
words that would haunt

his Mama to her
last, dying day.

He said "Baby go Vroooommm!

When Arlo got a little bit
older,

he kept pushing himself to
go faster,

entering soap box derbies
and racing his bicycle down

the steepest hills in town.

And like he said: "I can't
help it Mama,

I gots the Need.
The Need for Speed!"

And so one day, when Arlo
had grown to teenager-hood,

he was watching a news item
on the TV.

It seems that the Air Force
was using these little

itty-bitty rocket engines to
boost heavy transport planes

into the air.

He felt The Need a-coursing
through his veins.

Without missing a beat, he
lit out to his local Army

Surplus store, but Dang!

Just his luck.

They were fresh out of
rocket engines.

And the man at the store
said that the Air Force

wouldn't sell a rocket
engine to just any ol'

Tom, Dick or Arlo.

With The Need a-gnawing at
him,

Arlo hatched a plan.

He called his local air
force base,

saying that he was
Mister Arlo J. Arlo,

President of the Arlo
J. Corporation,

could they please ship him a
rocket engine immediately?

It arrived the very same
day.

"And where do you think
you're going?"

shouted Mama.

"This here's an army surplus
rocket engine.

I'm a gonna set me a world
land-speed record,

'cause I got The..."

"Yeah, I know."

said Mama, "Yous gots the
Need for Speed."

Arlo stomped on the gas
pedal.

"Y'all be back in time for
supper."

Arlo drove to the old dry
lakebed.

The car took off in a cloud
of smoke.

She bounced across the dry
lake and,

at eighty-eight miles an
hour,

Arlo, heart a-pounding in
his throat, lit the fuse.

There was a pause,

Arlo thought maybe the
rocket motor was a dud.

And then...

It was alive!

ALIVE!!!

Felt like an angry
mule'd drop-kicked him

right in the chest.

He gripped the steering
wheel,

holding on for dear life, as
the fingers of acceleration

kneaded the skin on his
face.

The car tore across the
lakebed.

He'd never felt so alive.

The Need for Speed was
fulfilled.

Arlo looked across the
lakebed ahead of him...

or what remained of it.

Hot Dang!

Up ahead of him and closing
fast,

was a solid rock cliff wall!

I don't really know
what happened first -

the tires blowing or
the brakes melting.

I guess it really don't
matter much none now,

because at that point, Arlo
was airborne!

And that's when he realized
that flyin',

FLYIN' would be his
salvation!

He couldn't steer the thing
and there was no way

to stop in time.

But if he could just get her up
and over the cliff ahead...

He pulled back hard on the
steering wheel,

just the way fighter pilots
on TV did.

"A few more feet...just a
few more feet",

thought Arlo.

The car kept flying upwards.

"I'm gonna make it, Mama!!"

Just then the second stage
of the rocket engine

kicked in.

Arlo didn't know these rocket
engines had a second stage.

Up through the stratosphere,
then the troposphere and

into the ionosphere...

And for one shining moment,
Arlo J. Arlo lived his dream.

He became the fastest man in
the world...

Yessir.

This here's a true story.

Happened to a friend of a
friend of mine.

And Arlo.
Yep.

He's still got that Need for
Speed.

But he's put it to good use.

He's president of Arlo
Express.

Five...four...three...two...
one...

One, two, three...

WAKE UP!

Oh, well.
Easy come easy go.

Alright, we've got another
Freaky story here...

[CHICKEN CLUCKS]

What was that?

We got a winner here!

Uh, me and my fine feathered
friend will be back after

this next Freaky Story.

This is a true story.

It happened to a friend of a
friend of mine,

Gordon.

Now, like most kids, Gordon
gets zits once in a while.

Okay, like a new one every
hour.

And he's tried everything.

Every cream, lotion,
pimple-popper or

blister-buster going.

But when Gordon gets a zit,
nothing seems to help.

It just gets bigger and
bigger until it erupts

like Mount Vesuvius.

Except oilier.

Now, Gordon had this thing
for a girl at school.

But she had a peaches and
cream complexion,

while his was more like
strawberries and oatmeal.

So, knowing that he had
absolutely no chance with her,

Gordon worshiped
Stephanie from afar.

Very afar.

Like restraining order afar.

But one day, a miracle
happened and Gordon

had a good zit day.

Only a few dozen on his
back,

and his face was zit-free.

So Stephanie, who'd never
even noticed Gordon before,

casually sat down beside him
at lunch.

And before Gordon knew it,
Stephanie was actually

talking to him...

him!
Gordon Russell!

The zit king!

He was so stunned, he
didn't know what to say.

So he asked her out on a
date to the amusement park,

and she agreed!

It wasn't until he tried to
get to sleep that night and

he actually began to think
about the date that he was

really freaked.

He was gonna have to be
entertaining for a whole

entire evening!

And what if she wanted a
good night kiss?

Now the sweat started
pouring out...and with it

came a big, fat, oil
refinery right in the middle

of his face.

The next morning, Gordon
discovered the oozing

pustule threatening to
engulf his entire face,

and he had a zit fit, 'cause
he was also out of zit cream!

By the time he got to the
pharmacy,

there were two more bouncing
baby blemishes on his face

and Gordon didn't need an
ultrasound to figure out

that further bundles of joy
were on the way.

Now, Gordon could have
either afforded his usual

industrial size tub of
pimple paste,

or the date with Stephanie,
but not both.

But as luck would have it,
the pharmacist was working

on an experimental instant
zit-reduction formula in the

back room.

"Some people, they look at a
zit and all they see is a

giant pus module", he told
Gordon.

"I look at a zit and see a
giant source of revenue.

But first I need to test my
Preparation Z on a willing

vict...ah, subject."

So, with a long list of
instructions from the

pharmacist, Gordon rushed
off to the amusement park

to meet Stephanie.

Now, at this point, Gordon
only had a few minutes

until the date.

And his face was threatening
to become carbuncle central.

There was no time to worry
about instructions...

As he was rushing to the
park,

Gordon squirted a little bit
of cream on one of the angry

red blotches.

Zilch, nada, zero.

Okay, a little more.

But the blotches...
bupkis.

No tingling sensation, no
nothing.

And as he looked at the
reflection of his

pock-marked puss in a store
window Gordon really started

to panic, which causes
another zit bulb to bloom.

Okay, now it's serious.

With no time to lose, Gordon
ran into the amusement park

washroom and started
slathering it on.

He squirts the whole tube on
his head,

but when he looked in the
mirror,

he was zittier than he'd
ever been in his life.

The pharmacist's cream did
nothing!

In Gordon's mind, there
was only one thing to do.

He'd have to run home
and hide in his room,

at least until he gets out
of his teens.

He looked out the washroom
door...and unlike his face,

at least the coast was
clear.

No sign of Stephanie.

Maybe he could leave before
anybody saw him!

He ran right into Stephanie,
who was coming out of the

girls' washroom.

Now she took one look at him
and SCREAMED!

And then some other people
in the park caught sight of

him...and they started
screaming!

"I didn't think I looked
that bad,

thought Gordon...at least
until he got a look at

himself in a mirror.

And then he started
screaming!

Because the zit cream took a
little time to take effect.

But when it worked, it
really worked.

The pimple cream dried
out the pus all right...

and then some.

This was a true story.

It happened to a friend of
a friend of mine, Gordon.

Now he never got
together with Stephanie

after his head grew
back to normal size.

But he eventually did find a
girlfriend with a complexion

just like his.

And you could say that
Gordon and Yolanda are now

each other's main squeeze.

[CHICKEN CLUCKS]

He probably tastes like
chicken too.

Heck, we probably all taste
like chicken!

Ahh, let's watch another
story while I watch

Chicken Little here.
[CHUCKLE]

This is a true story.

It happened to a friend of
a friend of mine, Tom.

It was the first day at
school after a long hot

summer of burger joint jobs
and baby sitting the brats

next door.

Everyone couldn't wait to
hook up and compare notes.

Then there was Tom.

He was new in town, which
didn't really seem to be

working to his benefit, if
you catch my drift.

Then Tom fell head
over heels for Cindy.

Well, sort of.

She was new too, but in her
case everyone seemed to

stand up and take notice...

especially Tom.

Tom instantly fell in love with
every square inch of her.

From the glistening nails on
her dainty toes to the tips

of her long dark hair.

[SIGH]

Unfortunately, he wasn't
the only gallant knight

seeking the fair maiden's
attentions.

Archie was the type who always
got any girl he wanted.

Then, the strangest thing
happened.

Or, more accurately, the
strangest sound...

[HOARKY COUGH]

It was kind of like the
sound you make when you're

trying to hoark up a big
loogie and then nearly choke

on it at the same time, if
you know what I mean.

Ha. Anyway, it was like that,
but about a million times

more disgusting, and with
some serious amplitude.

[HOARKY COUGH]

At first, no one could
really pin point the source

of that revolting sound.

Nah...it couldn't have been.

So, anyway, while Tom was
busy figuring out how to

bust a move on Cindy,
something about Cindy

started to make itself more
and more apparent.

"Hi Tom", she said.

And all Tom could muster up
was a dopey, "Uh, hi".

Poor guy missed his
chance... again.

But soon, there was no denying
Cindy's special talent.

[HOARKY COUGH]

Yup. That big hoarky sound
was comin' from her.

But Tom didn't care
about the cough

and it turned out Cindy liked
Tom's down to earth quality.

In fact, they found they had
a lot in common,

hoarky cough aside.

They were both new in town,
they didn't have a lot of

friends and nervous about
making new ones.

You know how it is.

So Tom finally worked up the
courage to ask Cindy out.

They had a blast.

Turns out Tom could be
pretty funny when he wasn't

too nervous or anything.

And that's when it
happened.

[HOARKY COUGH]

Luckily Tom had got some
special training at the

burger joint he worked
at...and mastered the

Heimlich maneuver.

Then from out of Cindy's
mouth came the biggest,

grossest, hairiest hairball
anyone had ever seen!

Cindy was majorly
embarrassed.

Her mom always warned her
that her nervous habit of

chewing on her hair would
give her a humongous

hairball in her stomach.

But Tom told her right there
and then,

that she was the one for him and
no stinkin' (well, it was!)

hairball was gonna
come between them.

Cindy was so overwhelmed
she swore her undying love

to her newfound hero.

This is a true story.

It happened to a friend of a
friend of mine.

From that day on, Cindy
never chewed on her hair,

and never so much as had to
clear her throat again...

...Unless she had a cold,
that is!

[CHICKEN CLUCKS]

[CHUCKLE]
Too much!

I fooled ya. You thought
I was hypnotized.

You mean...

[LAUGH] Fooled ya, fooled ya!
I'm so smart I fooled ya!

There was no way you were
gonna make me think

I was a chicken.

[LAUGHS]

[GASP]
But, you, wha, but, ha...

This is true story.

It happened to friend of
friend of mine...

Vladimir commanded one of my
submarines.

The Illia had been on secret
mission near our adversary's

territory and was just
setting course to

Mother Russia when
disaster struck...

You see Vladimir and crew,
jubilant with success,

had not been monitoring the
sonar as closely as they

should have been.

Enemy sonar had spotted
them.

Sasha, the engineer,
immediately

stopped the motors.

They, who moments before,
had been the hunters,

were now the hunted.

"Shut down all systems NOW!"
hissed Vladimir.

"Dead quiet," replied Sasha.

They watched the luminous
screen display the location

of their antagonist.

"Just one torpedo...",
muttered Gregor.

"...And you'll give away our
position!

Quiet!
Everyone!"

But then, the situation
worsened.

"They've called the other
ships...!"

"It's getting warm in here,"
said Gregor."

"Fetch a canteen of water,"
ordered Vladimir.

As they drank, Vladimir
noticed something.

"Sasha, did you?.."

Vladimir made a note to
ban cabbage from the menu

on all future voyages.

He turned back to the
problem at hand.

The ghostly light from the
screen traced the closure of

the net as it tightened
around them.

The heat continued to rise
in the tiny cabin.

The atmosphere became thick
with sweat and the rising

smell of fear.

Gregor poured another
cupful of water for each

of his comrades.

The stench in the cabin was
sickening.

"Sasha, are you sure...?"

"It wasn't me.
Blame him!"

But then there was a third
ship.

Vladimir cursed the hunters
above.

The arrival of the third
ship made any hope of escape

impossible.

They braced for depth
charges.

They could hear the propeller
of the approaching ship.

Vladimir took a deep breath
of the putrid cabin air.

The time of reckoning had
come.

He would not allow his
beloved Illia to be

captured, but they were only
human and could not stand

the smell for much longer.

"What was that? It wasn't
a depth charge!",

Gregor gaped at the sonar
screen.

"Nothing!", Sasha looked on
in wonder through the

Illia's windows..."Whales!
It's Whales!!!"

"Full Speed Ahead!"

The Illia turned and joining
the whales,

made her escape.

They surfaced, hours later.

Ahh, the sweet air after
being trapped in that putrid

smelling submarine for so
many hours.

"I'm thirsty," said Sasha.

"Then we shall toast our
good fortune with the last

of this water."

But as Gregor poured the
water,

he felt something knock
around inside the can.

He gave the can are hard
shake

and a dead rat, with a
very familiar stench,

fell onto the deck!

This is a true story.

It happened to friend of a
friend of mine.

And today, when the crew of
the Illia set sail,

they pack their water in
glass containers...

Okay, our first letter is
from Becka.

Dear Larry, do you
have any suggestions

for warding off a cold?...

Oh, do you?
'Cause I hab a bad code.

If you hab a rebedy...

Well, Maurice...

and Becka, there's an old
roach cure for...

AHCHOO!
[fart]

Oh, what was?

Oh, never mind.

I recognize that...
parfum d'maggot.

I can't hep it.
I hab da Maggot Flu.

What's the Maggot Flu?

Well, it seebs, that wit da
Maggot Flu,

when you sneeze you al-so...

ACHOO!
[fart]

Aw, cut that out!

My advice to you, Becka, is
to avoid maggots!

Oh, no, no, no.

Da good thig about the
Maggot Flu is dat it's

not cottagious.

Oh, well, at least I got
nothing to wo- to wo- to,

a-a-a CHOO!...

[fart]

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